Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Any health related information on the followingshow provides general information only. Content presented
on any show by any host orguests should not be substituted for a doctor's
advice. Always consult your physician beforebeginning any new diet, exercise, or
treatment program. Good Hello, everyone, and welcome to five to Thrive Live.
(00:42):
I'm Carolyn Gazella and I'm joined bymy awesome co host, doctor Lise
Ulsh. Hello, Hello, Lis. How are you? I feel like
I should like trot down a runwayor something like is rolled out the red
carpet for me. Here I go, I did. How are you doing
today? I'm doing I'm good.I'm you know, Today's a day where
(01:03):
I my goal for today is tolive in the moment. So I am,
you know, finding myself in themoment more moments than not. And
when that happens, it's a goodday. Wow. That's great. That's
a great intention. Is that justlike a Tuesday intention? It's a this
Tuesday intention? Okay? Perfect?I love it, and I also love
(01:26):
our topic today. Indeed, Buthow are you I'm doing great? Yeah,
I'm doing really well and I amexcited for this topic. So yeah,
it's okay. Well, how aboutif you start off by thanking our
sponsors. Good idea. Let melet me do that first. Amuse a
unique, patented postbiotic that gives yourimmune system a key advantage. A muse
(01:48):
is an ingredient in many immune supportingdietary supplements. Look for a MUSE on
the label or go to Amuse healthdot com for more information. Also cognizance
citicoline, which is nature's way ofkeeping the brain's energy producing centers firing on
all cylinders. If you're looking fora way to enhance your brain function,
including memory, focus and attention,look for cognizant on the label or go
(02:08):
to cognizan dot com for more information. And doctor oheres Probiotics. It's a
best selling probiotic for more than thirtyyears. It contains twelve probiotic strains that
are shelf stable so no refrigeration isrequired because of a unique three year fermentation
process, It's a very effective probiotic. Learn more at doctor Oherro probas dot
(02:29):
com and for more than thirty fiveyears. Gaya Erbs has extensive experience manufacturing
high quality herbal products for healthcare consumersand they have a dedicated product line named
Gaya pro tailored to healthcare practitioners.Healthcare practitioners can learn more at Gaya erbspro
dot com and consumers can visit Gayaerbs dot com. And finally, Prothrivers
(02:52):
Wellness Sleep, a melatonin based sleepformula specifically created for thrivers. Prothrivers Sleep
is available through your healthcare provider oronline at pure Formulas dot com. Okay,
so where should we begin with thetopic of the inner voice? Where
(03:12):
do you want to start? Well, I think we should start by defining,
or at least describing what we meanby the inner voice. So psychology,
the field of psychology, is avery factual description of the inner voice,
essentially hearing your own voice in yourhead or thinking in words. So,
okay, that's great. But what'sinteresting about it, even within the
field of psychology, is it's acknowledgedthat the nature of our internal dialogue varies,
(03:37):
and it's quite different for each ofus. However, universally, our
inner voice is thought to represent someaspect of an inner knowing, our core
beliefs, our guidance. And I'lltalk more a little bit about that,
more about that a little bit later, but you know, I think that
a lot of times when people thinkabout their inner voice, automatically assume that
(04:01):
we're talking about our critical inner voice, and in fact, that's probably the
inner voice that most of us aremost aware of. There's a name for
it. Even some again psychologists havereferred to this as our internal gremlin,
the idea being that there's this littleogre like thing sitting on our shoulder constantly,
like you know, nibbling at us, nibbling away at our self confidence,
(04:24):
throwing us doubts and kind of sendingus off track. And I think
that that is something that most ofus are quite aware of. We're our
own worst critic in many ways.But I actually think our inner voice is
a lot more than that. AndI will, if given the opportunity by
Carolyn, talk more about that alittle bit later. But Carolyn, you
(04:46):
know this topic was actually your idea, So why did you want to talk
about the inner voice? Yes,and I would love to hear your thoughts
on that too, because I whenI was researching this topic, I can't
remember where I heard it but orwhere I read it, but as someone
described it as your inner voice isyou speaking with your soul? And I
thought that was kind of a cool. But yeah, I've been interested in
(05:09):
this topic for quite some time forme personally. And one thing I'd like
to point out before we begin isthat, you know, I don't think
that we're talking about just being morepositive. I think that this topic is
more broad than that, and moresignificant than that than just like have a
positive attitude. And I mean,let's face it, you know, I'm
a very positive person, and yetI've got ovarian cancer and I got alopecia,
(05:31):
and you know what I mean,and I've had my health challenges.
So I think we're talking about somethinga lot deeper than just having a positive,
positive attitude. But I will tellyou why I wanted to talk about
this topic. You know, Ifirst noticed a very negative inner voice when
I was diagnosed with my alopecia.And I've written about this and talked about
it somewhat on this show. ButI actually would see my reflection and I
(05:57):
would say to myself, oh yuck. And I don't know, at least
if you realize how many times aperson sees the reflection throughout the day,
you know, in a mirror,or on your phone, or in a
window, et cetera, et ceterathat I realized was a lot of oh
yuck. So I started to shiftthings. But I started to research this
(06:19):
topic, like what kind of damageam I doing to my mental, emotional,
spiritual, physical health by doing this? And how can I shift things?
So that's really what drew me tothis topic. And as I mentioned,
I've always used my inner voice ina very positive way. You know,
I'm a big daydreamer. I loveda daydream, which encourages creativity,
(06:43):
and you know, and I dosend myself positive messages and I talk to
myself a lot. Least I'm upin my head talking to myself a lot.
So I think what we're going totalk about tonight it is, you
know what, it may not beso bad to talk to yourself. Absolutely,
And I think that what you justsaid is really important because the nature
(07:09):
of our inner voice can change overtime, and we can influence the kind
of voice that we have inside ourheads, which you know you've alluded to.
So I think that that's a reallyimportant part of this conversation. And
yeah, well I have a quickquestion for you, because you know,
you and I rely on the scienceand we rely on you know, reading
(07:30):
the experts, and really digging intoa topic from that standpoint, So do
we know how much influence our innervoice has on our mental, emotional,
and physical health? Well, I'mnot sure if I mean, yes,
we do. So I want totalk about this from two very different perspectives.
(07:51):
So first let me address your queryabout the science, and then I
want to actually talk about this froma more of a spiritual perspective. So,
first of all, our inner orinternal voice has been studied, so
we've used functional or what are calledfunctional MRIs. These are imaging techniques to
look at the brain activity during anactivity like thinking or doing a task.
(08:15):
And when we speak silently to ourselves, the same areas of the brain are
activated as when we're speaking out loud. So it's literally from a brain physiology's
perspective, as if we were talking, we just happened to be talking to
ourselves, and so that's kind ofinteresting. That sort of proves that there
(08:35):
is something happening in there, youknow. And what also studies have shown
is that our inner dialogue is notjust a self critic, but in fact
is essential for our ability to plan, to problem solve, to motivate ourselves,
to reinforce our memories. Our innerspeech helps us to think and to
(08:58):
give meaning and context to our experiences, and of course a critical inner dialogue
can have the opposite effects. Sowhen we're overly self critical, our inner
voice can actually interfere with our abilityto think, our ability to plan,
our ability to give meaning. Andthere have been some studies that show that
(09:18):
the inner voice or the inner dialoguethat we have can actually be a contributor
to depression and anxiety. And thenalso of course we think about mental health
issues, particularly illnesses like schizophrenia,and those cases in some way have to
do with an inner voice that's becomeoverwhelming or too intense, and that can
(09:41):
actually contribute to kind of a psychoticbreak, if you will. So that's
kind of a science aspect to it. I just want to say, from
a spiritual perspective, I think aninner voice really has an entirely different meaning.
So I'm going to depart from thescience for a moment, and in
a spiritual sense, you know,an inner voice can be this sort of
(10:03):
internal dialogue that we have where it'sour own voice sort of giving ourselves self
counsel about something. There are alsoindividuals who feel as though they are receiving
communication from a disembodied spirit or entity, whatever you want to call it,
and receive that communication inside their headas a voice that's recognized as not their
(10:30):
own. And I don't think thatthat's consistent with mental illness. I think
it can be if the person who'sreceiving that kind of communication doesn't assert their
own authority and agency around it andsort of say, hey, look,
I'm only interested in a kind,loving inner voice that's going to give me
good guidance, because I think infact, people with schizophrenia and so forth,
(10:52):
maybe some of those people may bebeing led astray by some less well
intentioned disembed spirits. But so thisis probably out there for some of our
listeners. But I'm just you know, speaking from my truth, and I
think that this experience of communicating withthe spirit world can be quite helpful for
(11:13):
people, again for the same reasonsthat can help give people more insight,
more clarity into what they are,you know, wanting to do, into
how they feel about things, intothe meaning of what's happening in their life.
So I just wanted to kind ofoffer two very different perspectives on inner
voices. But before you respond,Carol and I'm sure you also have some
(11:37):
research, so and whatever you say, maybe you could also bring up what
you've found too. Yeah, andI would like to respond to that because
I do feel that it's an importantpoint. I personally don't feel that they're
mutually exclusive. I think that it'sgood to have those two voices. So
what I hear you saying is thatyou have your voice and you're talking with
yourself, but then you can actuallyreceive voices or messages from I call them
(12:01):
angels, you know. But soI believe that I believe in that as
well. And I think that it'san extension of prayer, and it's an
extension of having our prayers be answered. And you know, so I think
that there is a spiritual component.I too ran across the same science.
(12:22):
Memory, brain function, thoughtfulness,imagination. These are all things that are
enhanced when we encourage self talk andwhen we have this inner dialogue going.
So I think the inner dialogue canbe very positive. And I also found
that the reverse is true that peoplewho are depressed or anxious or ruminate,
(12:46):
you know, they're they're constantly worrying. There is a tendency towards negative self
talk, which provides a vicious cycle. Then all of a sudden, you
know, the condition or their feelingsdon't get any better because one fuels the
other. And we'll talk about thatmore as we go along. So yeah,
so I think from a scientific standpoint, there's a lot of validity.
(13:07):
And I love the fact that you'veintroduced the spiritual aspect to it as well,
because I think you and I liketo combine both. Mm. So
now let's let's talk a little bitin practical terms, because I know that
you know you personally influence your owninner voice, but you also help your
patients to influence their inner voice.So do you have any kind of practical
(13:31):
tips that you can provide us withhow people can do that? Right?
So, I think now I wantto focus on the inner gremlin, the
critical inner voice, and so ifwe in order for us to make any
changes, we have to first haveawareness. So I think the very first
(13:52):
step is to have awareness. Justlike you described, you realized that,
you know, maybe it was anepiphany, maybe it was a growing awareness,
but at some point you said,gosh, I'm just looking at myself
and giving myself really negative messaging.And I think that's the first thing is
to just step into a hey,what's going on here? And then I
(14:13):
think once that awareness sets in,the next phase to that is to remember
that we each have the authority totake control over our own inner voice.
We are in charge, not ourinner voice. And this is true even
if, or actually especially if onebelieves that the inner voice is a spiritual
one, because in that instance,we still have absolute responsibility to control what
(14:39):
kind of voice we allow inside ourheads and how much authority we grant it.
So all of this is to say, first awareness, second, to
remember that we are the biggest,our big We is in charge, and
we can control and cultivate the kindof inner voice we want to hear.
So if the inner voice is overlycritical, we can take a moment,
(15:01):
you know, to reflect on thecircumstances or the triggers for that voice,
what caused that criticalness? Is therean alternative response? Can we choose to
look at ourselves? I'm going tokeep using you as an example. Can
we choose to look at ourselves inthe mirror and see something beautiful there and
(15:22):
just focus on that instead, sowe can be aware, remember we're in
charge, and then consider an alternativeway to have that voice manifest and we
can even instruct our inner voice byasking ourselves questions like what would be best
for me to think about right now? What would be best for me to
(15:43):
consider? What should I be curiousabout, what's in my best interest?
To remind ourselves of our strengths,of our goodness, and then to ask
ourselves to speak from that place,because that's how we can then transform.
And this is this is a discipline. Frankly, this is not going to
be like, okayed of being negative. I'm just going to be positive.
Let's just do it. It's reallyabout continuing to have that awareness, continuing
(16:06):
to remember your control, continually askingyourselves what triggered this, How can I
respond differently? What am I reallycurious and confident about? And to go
in that direction. So I thinkalong those lines, that's what I would
say, Carolyn, what about you? Do you have any kills? Yeah?
I do have some chips, Butjust as an extension of what you
were saying, you know, theseare small steps. So I didn't go
(16:30):
from seeing my reflection and saying,oh, Carolyn, you're a beautiful babe.
You know I didn't. I didn'tI worked up to that beautiful babe
comment. But the first thing Idid was I taught myself to smile.
So I looked at I saw myreflection and I didn't say, oh yuck.
(16:52):
I just smiled. And then thesecond step was you've got this.
And then the third step was you'rebeautiful. And it took years to get
to that point. So I don'twant people to think that, oh,
yeah, this is you know,something that's gonna happen overnight. But what
we're doing is we're taking small stepstowards changing that voice. And you know
(17:15):
who I think of when I thinkof this lease, I think of doctor
B. J. Fogg's work.Yeah, because you mentioned the trigger,
I would I would say that normallydoctor Fogg talks about a routine trigger,
like, oh, you get upin the morning, that's your trigger.
You're making your coffee, that's yourtrigger, etc. Etc. What I
would propose in this particular case isto have the feeling be the trigger.
(17:41):
So let's say you're feeling unsupported andand that brings up a physical feeling,
like all of a sudden, youcan feel yourself getting angry because you're unsupported.
So in that moment, that's yourtrigger. In that moment, instead
instead of saying, oh, nobody'ssupporting me. In that moment your trigger
(18:04):
happens, you're angry, you don'tfeel supported. That's when you change and
you you try to introduce a newstatement. You know, whether it's I
understand people are busy right now,I'm going to give myself the support I
need, or I can do this. I can support myself right now.
What's happening when we put something inpositive where there was something negative and let
(18:26):
it instead of letting that inner voiceto fuel the anger, which is only
going to get worse. The moreyou say, nobody supports me, nobody
support me, I'm not supported,I'm not supportable. Blah blah blah.
You're anger. You're going to getmore and more angry. But if you
can diffuse that anger with your innervoice and have your inner voice provide the
(18:47):
support and encouragement you need in thatmoment, you're going to shift things.
And it's same with you know recently, as you know least I um moved
and moving can be hectic, andI find myself and it moving takes months.
You know, by the time youtell your house and blah blah blah,
I found myself saying, not onlyto myself but to other people,
(19:08):
Oh, it's so hectic. Ohit's so hectic. And I got stick
of hearing myself saying, Oh it'shectic, but it's tactic. So what
I shifted was I changed at andinside I said, it's hectic, but
it's all good. Everything is good, everything is working out. Yes it's
(19:29):
hectic, but everything's working out.And that shifted things for me. So
I think that we can use someof these same concepts that you and I
have been talking about with five toThrive for years, and we can apply
them to this inner voice. Ifeel mhmm. Yeah. I think that's
really very true. And I thinkyou know, all of this is a
(19:51):
way for us to to I'm goingto kind of approach us from a different
perspective. So what you also justdescribed was develop having that awareness, but
being with the awareness for more thana flash. So you were able to
recognize a pattern and then recognize theimpact of that pattern in your life and
(20:18):
how it was adding stress not takingstress away, and then you chose a
response. So that's a way thatyou are responding to the such situation instead
of just reacting to the situation andI think a lot of times our critical
inner voice as a reactor, andso it's kind of a non contemplative or
non mindful way to respond to theworld around us. And the more mindful
(20:42):
we can be, the more mindfulness, the more attention we can bring into
the present moment, and to takethat attention and awareness and choose a response
to it, the more we developa sense of living our life from a
(21:03):
place of empowerment. And I thinkwith that empowerment, we are less victimized
by our circumstances. So this canbe very profound, right, because I
mean moving, Yeah, that's maybenot the worst circumstance, but what if
we were talking about receiving a tremendouslyyou know, difficult diagnosis of a disease
(21:23):
or experiencing a loss or something likethat. I think that again, if
we can just take a moment andrecognize when we're being reactive and self critical
and use that as almost like aqueue to say, Okay, what's really
happening here, where's my opportunity toregain a sense of I don't know,
(21:47):
directionality and movement and opportunity in thiscircumstance, Yeah, I would agree,
And that's where I'm saying that ifwe tap into the feeling, right is
the event like you know, likeuh, you know, I uh,
we've all experienced loss, so ratherthan focusing on the loss, but the
how that that makes you feel.Or or let's say you've got a big
(22:11):
presentation at work and you're and you'revery anxious about it. Um, you
know, what's the feeling, Oh, I have butterflies in my stomach,
or oh, I'm I feel allchoked up, or what you know,
there's a physical feeling that manifests andhaving that be the trigger, I think
that's what helps me stay in thatmoment and really be mindful, like you
(22:33):
were saying, And I would agreethat awareness is key. UM. So
if your trigger does not put youin that awareness mode long enough for you
to be for you to be contemplative, as you mentioned, then it's likely
that you may not have to youmay have difficulty changing that inner voice.
So I think that um, stayingwith that feeling um is going to be
(22:57):
pretty critical with all that, Yeah, for sure. And there's one other
component to this which no one tobring up is a little bit of a
shift. But sometimes when I'm ina conversation with somebody and they're being very
reactionary to me or to somebody elseand overly critical or even angry, or
(23:18):
whatever the case might be. Ithelps me to sometimes step back and say,
I bet part of that reaction orpart of that expression that they're giving
to another person is really their owninternal voice or their gremlin kind of beating
themselves up, and they're just projectingit onto somebody else. And by doing
(23:38):
by kind of having that awareness inmyself as I'm observing or receiving this,
it helps me to gather a senseof compassion and to respond from a more
compassionate, loving place and take itless personally. So I think that this
awareness also has the potential to positivelytransform the way we relate to others.
(24:00):
That is such a good point becauseI and I honestly you just blew my
mind, because I do sometimes feelthat we take on other people's gremlins.
Yeah, and and what what Ihear you describing is um using this practice
to insulate yourself from taking that onand just and pushing back with compassion and
(24:25):
just like, okay, well I'mnot going to take on your gremlin,
and I'm you know, I'm goingto have compassion for you, and I'm
going to realize that you're you're speakingfrom this place where you have history with
this and it's not about me.It's it's about your history and your gremlins
and whatnot. I think that that'sa really good flip side to this coin
so it and you know, wedo we're like sponges sometimes when we're hanging
(24:48):
out with our friends and our familyand the people that we spend a lot
of time with. So I thinkthat that's a cautionary tale. Um yeah,
yeah, yeah. And you know, the way back in the day,
I can't remember the name of thebook, but I think it might
have been called something like Taming YourInner Gremlin. And it was a kind
of a fun book. It wasfor adults, but it had all these
pictures of like that you know,green kind of monstery gremlin sitting on her
(25:11):
shoulder, and you know, they'reprickly, these gremlins that we have inside
of us, and you know they'relike right right right ron if you like
right right right back, it justmakes them right right right even more.
But I love the sound effects,I know, right, that's pretty good.
Right. So, but if insteadyou just like, hey, you
know what, you're really beautiful andyou're looking good today, and hey,
(25:33):
you know you are just so sweet. I love the way you nestle into
my neck and you know, allthese things. Then that gremlin starts to
kind of purl a little bit,and you can change in her voice.
So it's also this self compassion thatI think we're talking about too. Yeah,
I think that's what I had tolearn. And I can tell you
that for me personally, there wassuch a significant shift. I noticed,
(26:00):
um, you know, that myconfidence was coming back, my self esteem
was getting stronger, and I justnoticed mostly in those areas, but you
know, physically, I started takingbetter care of myself because I felt better
about myself, you know. Sothere is a physical component to this as
well. I mean there's a physicalcomponent to you know, optimism and being
(26:22):
positive as well, you know.But I do feel like this is a
part of a holistic health plan.You know. We want to eat right,
we want to exercise, but wealso want to have we want to
be having a very positive, healthpromoting inner dialogue. I mean, we're
(26:44):
going to have that dialogue. That'swhat the science tells us. We all
have it, so why not makeit be beneficial for us versus detrimental.
Yea, and none of us areimmune. I remember act when you and
I published our first edition of ourDefinitive Guide to Cancer book, it was
(27:06):
it's like a tomb, like thethickness of Harry the Potter, right,
So it's a big book. Wespent a couple of years writing it,
and we had a publicist. Wehad all these radio shows lined up,
and I remember one after another sittingin front waiting for the radio show to
come on, thinking, oh mygod, what am I doing doing this?
I know nothing this, I'm likea fraud. This is crazy.
(27:29):
I'm not an expert. I justwrote this book, but I don't know
anything about integrative cancer care. Likeit was just my grandma was going crazy.
Yeah, and I you know,I had to really pull myself out
of that and pull myself out ofthis really sort of scared, you know,
lack of confidence kind of place,and just remember I'm enough, I
(27:52):
know enough to be an offer whatI can. This is what it is,
and you know, just slowly butsurely build my confidence back. And
I did build it back, butit took a while, and I thought,
you know, none of us areimmune. It doesn't really matter what
the circumstances are. It just canwhen we hit into one of our vulnerabilities
for whatever reason it exists, wecan fall prey to our gremlin. It's
(28:15):
such a good point because even someonelike you, because I got to pick
my co author for that book andI picked you, and I picked the
right person hands down, But evensomeone at your level can also that gremlin
can pop up. So you're absolutelyright. None of us are immune,
that is for sure. Yes,it is. So. I don't know,
(28:37):
Carolyn, what would you say inconclusion? What final thought would you
like to leave with our listeners thisevening about our inner voice? Do not
underestimate the power of the inner voice, but do not underestimate the influence that
you have over that inner voice.That's my that's my takeaway. I like
(28:59):
it. It's good. What aboutyou? I would say? In addition
to that, So I'll say,and your inner voice is an opportunity for
you to grow in incredible ways,and you can do it very privately,
but it will have incredible manifestations inyour outward life. Perfect well, great,
(29:23):
right, let's wrap things up,lease, indeed, so I will
thank our sponsors again amuse postbiotic togive your immune system that extra boost.
Cognizance at colleen to help enhance memory, focus, and attention. Doctor or
Hira's award winning shelf stable probiotic GuyaHerbs, makers of exceptional quality herbal products
(29:45):
and pro Thrivers Wellness Sleep Formula.Absolutely we appreciate our sponsors very much,
so may you experience joy, laughterand love. It's time to thrive.
Everyone, have a great night,can night. It's gonna be love,
This is gonna be loves baby,good luck, good luck to see the
(30:11):
scream that you chamber. The Citiesof five livestream Love Live