The Jaye Spot Podcast

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
To enter the Jspot Thejspot on Intellectual radio dot com.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Good evening, good evening, Good evening, and welcome to the
best night of your life.

Speaker 3 (00:28):
You have entered the Jspot, where we are strengthening relationships
and families, one conversation at a time. On Intellectual radio
dot com. We are an iheartstation. I'm your host, Jay.
You all, I want to thank you all so much.

Speaker 4 (00:45):
For tuning in. Please do me a favorite you all
go to our page.

Speaker 3 (00:49):
Like our page at the Jspot, then follow us on
Twitter at Jspot, follow us on Instagram at the Jspot,
and then go right around the corner to YouTube Boo
Boop like and follow us there the jaspot Radio go
to TikTok like and follow us there the J Spot. Guys,
Jay is j A Why e guys, please turn on

(01:13):
the notification bell for all platforms.

Speaker 4 (01:16):
Happy Thursday. You all. Thank you so much for allowing.

Speaker 3 (01:20):
Me to join you on your ride home or as
your cook dinner or pop. Some kids upside the head
baby because it is summer vacation. And guess what, they
ain't at school. They ain't got no homework, they ain't
got nothing to do. I'm so sorry for you all,
y'all better get them some books and get them something
to read.

Speaker 4 (01:39):
Listen.

Speaker 3 (01:39):
That's how my mother used to do us. Listen, give
you thirty minutes to read. Read the entire book. Do
not come listen, don't come messing with her.

Speaker 4 (01:49):
Read. That's why we were all very good readers, because.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
We read every day, every day, even in the summertime,
when you were done with homework, we were some we're reading,
and that's why I love to read, not as much
as talk, but read and talk as well.

Speaker 4 (02:07):
So, guys, listen, thank you so much for tuning in. Listen.

Speaker 3 (02:10):
Guys, we have a great show lined up for you tonight.
But let me just tell you what happened to me
prior to the show. You all listen, I listen, these
cicadas are real.

Speaker 4 (02:26):
Baby.

Speaker 3 (02:26):
Let me tell you something. I was attacked by a cicada.

Speaker 4 (02:31):
Baby.

Speaker 3 (02:31):
That thing flew on my leg and I almost flew
into traffic.

Speaker 4 (02:36):
I'm just like, oh my god. So once I.

Speaker 3 (02:39):
Got over it, that freaking ordeal, then I'm like, okay,
let me get them clearly, let me get away from
the tree.

Speaker 4 (02:47):
Because all I hear is.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
And whatever sound the things make, that's all I was hearing,
and so I'm just not now.

Speaker 4 (02:56):
Lord, is this the end for me? Is this I
hear you calling me, like, is this the end for me?

Speaker 3 (03:04):
Or you know what's really going on here? Because I'm
not prepared for this. I'm not ready. So I go
to what I thought was a safe area in a
parking lot near no trees, and a cicada. Another one
comes flying. I'm like, what is this a bat? Them

(03:25):
things flying so fast and it's just landed right on
my leg, and I'm just like, oh my god, Listen,
I need to go back home and go in the house.

Speaker 4 (03:36):
What can we do about this?

Speaker 3 (03:37):
Because listen, all of the years of living on the
West Side does not prepare you for any type of
wildlife action.

Speaker 4 (03:50):
It just does not. I don't care.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
Listen, the West Side does not tell you how to
deal with if you walk it out and you see
the deers, you know, just you know, just wandering along.

Speaker 4 (04:03):
Listen, it does not prepare you for that.

Speaker 3 (04:06):
It does not prepare you for when you get off
of work at night, especially in the wintertime, and you're
walking up the steps to your house and there's a
possum sitting there waiting for you, Like what took you
so long, Like, wait, what, we're not doing this. The
West Side does not prepare you for those type of things.

(04:29):
The West Side does not prepare you for these flying cicadas. Now, listen,
I'm not one of those people that go out and
make it seem like, oh, yeah, you know, I'm.

Speaker 4 (04:43):
From the West Side and I'm tough and all this.

Speaker 3 (04:47):
No no, no, no, no, no, no no no no.
Tender spirit over here. Okay, tender spirit this way. Okay,
you're dealing with with a tender a tender spirit. Somebody
say tender spirit and listen. I'm okay with that. I

(05:07):
don't have nothing. Listen, you're too old to be that scary.
You're too grown. You can call it whatever you like.
Makes me not nam never mind, I am not about
that life. Repeat after me, Family, Jay is not about
that life. I am not about the cicada life. I'm

(05:30):
not about all these bug lives and all of this.
I'm personally not about the foolishness. I'm not about the foolery.
I'm just not you know, So you all please keep
me lifted, but you know you be careful out there
because them things. Listen, I had to come up here
I'm checking in my head to make sure there's no

(05:51):
cicadas mating and having babies in my in my braids,
had to make sure there were no cicadas in my purse.
You know, you really just have to be careful and
you gotta make sure because listen, this is and I
will be on this is some foolishness.

Speaker 4 (06:08):
It's some foolishness, you all, some true foolishness.

Speaker 3 (06:12):
Now, speaking of foolishness, let's go ahead and get into
our hot topics. Now, listen, this first hot topic, this
was a good one. This was a question that I got.
So your child is graduating from college and you live
with your dude, and so the night before you all
are set to go to your child's college graduation, your

(06:35):
child father calls and says, listen, my car broke down
and I don't have.

Speaker 4 (06:41):
A way to get to the graduation.

Speaker 3 (06:44):
Can I ride with you all? And your dude says, no,
he cannot ride with us. I don't want him riding
with me. How would you react to that situation?

Speaker 4 (06:56):
Again?

Speaker 3 (06:56):
Your guy, you and your guy live together. It's your
child's college graduation. Your child's father calls and says their
car broke down, and they don't have a way to
get to the graduation, and they want to know. He
wants to know if he can ride with you and
your guy, since you guys are going to the graduation.

(07:19):
And your god says, no, he can't. You know, he
can't go. I don't want him, he can't go, he
can't ride with us. How would you react to that?
Would you still let your child father ride with you?
Or what would you do? How would you handle that?
Would you go along with your god? Hey, preddy, Tasha,
how you doing?

Speaker 4 (07:40):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (07:40):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (07:41):
Yes? So how do you how do you deal with that?

Speaker 3 (07:43):
So my thing is this, I like to think that
I have the attitude of listen, it's not about the adults,
it's about the kids.

Speaker 4 (07:55):
So we have to do what's best for the kids.

Speaker 3 (07:59):
So if your child is graduating and.

Speaker 4 (08:06):
His father calls or her father calls and.

Speaker 3 (08:09):
Says, listen, you know, my car broke down and I'm
not able to get to the graduation. Can I ride
with you all? And then your guy says no, he
can't ride with us, And you're like, okay, well wait
a minute, what do you mean he can't ride with us?

Speaker 4 (08:30):
Here's my thing.

Speaker 3 (08:31):
Clearly, you were his last resort, because I can't see
unless you guys have that type of relationship, And clearly
it wasn't that type of relationship because your dude said no.
But I would like to think that in a situation
like that, if you guys.

Speaker 4 (08:49):
Live together, clearly he.

Speaker 3 (08:51):
Knows that there is nothing going on between you and
your child's father, because if it was then, and if
he thought that, then why is he still with you?
That would be my first question. So it's like, why
are you saying no? Like, are you saying no just
to be a butthole? Are you saying no?

Speaker 4 (09:08):
Oh, it's not my responsibility.

Speaker 3 (09:10):
And I don't think that he's asking from a place
of it being your responsibility. He's asking from a place
of man, you know, something happened, and something happened that
was beyond my control.

Speaker 4 (09:23):
I'm still trying to make it to my child's graduation.

Speaker 3 (09:26):
So are you gonna choose that time to sit there
and beat on your chest as oh I am man
and he can you know he's not gonna be able
to come because I don't want him to come.

Speaker 4 (09:36):
He's not ride with me?

Speaker 3 (09:37):
Or are you gonna be the bigger person to say
you know, listen, this dude kid, I don't want to
deprive him of the opportunity to see his child graduate.
So yeah, you know, I don't I mean, I don't
like it, But at the same time, I don't mind,
because you should have enough love for the child to

(10:00):
whatever it is that whatever dislike or whatever it is
that could potentially be your problem with not wanting to
let the father ride with us. You're like, in respect
for the child should trump whatever ill feelings that you

(10:20):
may have towards the father. So I don't see why
a responsible and mature man, I don't see what would
be the reason, what would be the reason to say
no in that situation? So fellas, let me know what
do you guys think about that? And ladies, how would
you handle it?

Speaker 4 (10:39):
Again?

Speaker 3 (10:39):
This is your child graduating from college and his car
breaks there and your child father's car breaks down, and
he's asking can he ride with you and your guy
and your guy is saying no, he cannot ride with
you all. How would you feel about that? How would

(10:59):
you react to that situation?

Speaker 4 (11:01):
Fellas? What would you do? Is this man right? Is
he right for saying you know what? Listen?

Speaker 3 (11:07):
Is he right for saying you know he he's not
he's not gonna drive. He's not gonna let this man
drive with him. Guys, if you want to talk to me,
my number is seven O eight two two three eight
nine five to three. Again, the number is seven O
eight two two three eight nine five three. If you
want to call in and talk about this. If you
don't want to say your name, you want to remain anonymous,

(11:27):
then you can go ahead and do that if you
want to answer this question truthfully. But again, I help
me understand because maybe I'm missing it. Maybe I don't
see it, but I don't see what the issue is.
Why would you not want this man to, you know,
come and be a part of his child's.

Speaker 4 (11:47):
Special day, especially if you can help it.

Speaker 3 (11:50):
So again, maybe there was some maybe there was some
bad vibe, if if if it was some bad blood,
but I don't think how much bad blood could it
be if the father is willing to put all of
that to the side to come and you know, still
ask you, you know, humble himself. And because to me

(12:14):
that listen, that takes a lot of being, That takes
a great deal of drinking some and eating some humble
pie for a man to come to another man and
ask him for a favor.

Speaker 4 (12:28):
It has to be a he has to.

Speaker 3 (12:31):
Take a you know, listen, that's a huge chunk of
humble pie. Now, if anybody, in my opinion, that should
be uncomfortable, it would be the It would be the
mother because here it is now you sitting in between
the old dude that used to smash your guts and

(12:52):
the new dude that's now smashing your guts out. So
if anybody that has a reason to sit there and
be a nun or be a sister, it's the mother,
cause she gotta she gotta look at both of you clowns,
and you know, so I don't understand.

Speaker 4 (13:10):
So for me, I'd like to just if just like say,
let's let's flip it. If it was the mother.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
And she calls your baby mama call, she can't get
to the graduation. We got the kids, the kids, you know,
on their way to the graduation with us. But the
baby mama call and she's like, my carbrogram, I can't
get to the graduation, cannot ride with you all. And
she acts her baby daddy, and her baby daddy is

(13:41):
on board with it, but me as being his significant other,
and he asks me and I say no, she can't
ride with us.

Speaker 4 (13:50):
What does that look like?

Speaker 3 (13:51):
How do you even fix your mouth to say something
like that? How do you fix your mouth to say no?
Why would you say no?

Speaker 5 (13:59):
Now?

Speaker 3 (14:00):
The only reasons why I can think that for real,
for real, that we would say no is if we
got bad blood, you got a smart mouth, and you disrespectful,
and we don't get along.

Speaker 4 (14:12):
Don't even come this way that your car broke down.

Speaker 3 (14:16):
Because you're a spirit, and you a wicked, unfamiliar spirit.
That's why your car broke down. And that's what I'll
tell her. You a lie and wonder that's why your
car broke down. Don't come over here, Satan trying to listen.
We will not be entertaining the enemy today. That's what
I would say. If she had a bad attitude and

(14:36):
we didn't get along with she, you know, she was
always doing some stuff, then I could see that being
the problem, that being the answer. But again if even
for the father as well, like if oh boy is
just on some dumb stuff all the time, then again
the same thing would be for him. You are a
wicked spirit. Get away from me. You will not step

(14:59):
foot in my car because you are evil.

Speaker 4 (15:02):
You are you, but you are some kins of Satan.

Speaker 3 (15:04):
But if none of that type of stuff is happening,
and you just don't want them to go just because
you and your feelings or you, you just you just
don't want them to go. You don't even have a
real reason for them not to be able to ride
with you. You just want to be an old, dusty,

(15:26):
fussy stick in the mud. Then I would have to question, like,
you know, man, what's this all about? Like I mean,
because I would be asking like, okay, what's this all about?

Speaker 4 (15:37):
Like what's no?

Speaker 3 (15:39):
You would have to give me a really good reason,
and still I wouldn't be okay with it. So let's say, okay,
so he's going with the no, your dude going with
the no, he can't ride with you. Well, if I
got a car, then the baby daddy gonna be able
to ride drive my car. I'm gonna try to get
him in a car with a family member that's going
down there something. But I'm going to try to pret

(16:00):
anticipate and help him to get down there so that
he will not miss his child's graduation. But to sit
there and be to me, I think that that's like
a childish you know that's a childish response. Especially again,
if there is no bad blood and there's no disrespect,

(16:20):
then yes, I think that the father should be able
to ride with you.

Speaker 4 (16:24):
Nikisha is saying, smashing my guts.

Speaker 3 (16:26):
Absolutely, listen, you the one that gotta be the mother
is the one that has to sit down and take
the walk of shame because she don't.

Speaker 4 (16:35):
You know, these are two dudes that you know.

Speaker 3 (16:38):
Listen, and then they probably looking at each other and
wondering did she do that thing for you that she
used to do for me?

Speaker 4 (16:45):
You know, you know how people be all petty.

Speaker 3 (16:47):
You know, well maybe everybody in as petty as I am,
but you know, I just tend to you know, my
mom tends to go to the Pettier's place sometimes, so
you know, as I said, I reside on petty Island.
But again, at this point, when it's dealing with kids,
we should always be doing what needs to be done
to put the kids first. What's best for the kids

(17:10):
is what it's supposed to be the decision we have
to act upon. Listen, making the best decision for the kids,
not acting in in response to our personal feelings and
how we feel about something. Again, the only reason why
I can say that I would just hands down, ten
toes down say no is if they got a nasty

(17:33):
attitude and we we don't get along, we're arguing like
it's very toxic. But if we're cordial with each other
and we're able to be in the same room, now,
granted it will be I'm sure it will be an
uncomfortable drive. I'm sure it will, but you gotta find

(17:54):
a way to entertain yourselves and just think, listen, we're
doing this because we all love and are proud of
that kid that is graduated. And if we all everybody
think about just doing that, then everything will be fine.
But as long as we worried about adult issues and
all list and that and trying to outdo each other

(18:16):
with this and listen, stop being petty all your life.
Stop being petty all your life. And that would lead
us to our next hot topic. Now, listen, ladies, ladies,
would you still.

Speaker 4 (18:32):
Date a dude? Would you date a dude that is
letting you know up front that he.

Speaker 3 (18:39):
Does not do kids, he does not want to be
around kids, he does not want to date a woman.

Speaker 4 (18:47):
With kids, but you have kids, would you still and listen?

Speaker 3 (18:53):
He is the end all, be all like he is
everything everything, everything in the looks department, everything in the
personality department, everything in the career department.

Speaker 4 (19:07):
He is.

Speaker 3 (19:08):
And he checks off all of the boxes on your list, baby,
he checks them all off.

Speaker 4 (19:16):
Okay, all of them.

Speaker 3 (19:18):
He's checking every last one of them, all with the
exception of this.

Speaker 4 (19:22):
Tiny, little, little little detail. He don't mess around with kids.

Speaker 3 (19:29):
You got about three, four up, five of maybe even
just one.

Speaker 4 (19:35):
But that's it. He doesn't deal with kids.

Speaker 3 (19:37):
Now, listen, you done got all wrapped up into him
and everything, and you guys, had not got to the
point of talking about your family structure.

Speaker 4 (19:47):
So now you're out, you're on.

Speaker 3 (19:50):
A date, and now you're getting to know each other
and you're talking about family structure and careers and what
you want out of life, and the topic and the
subject comes up of kids.

Speaker 4 (20:02):
He tells you how he feels about kids.

Speaker 3 (20:05):
And then once he tells you that, you don't tell
him that you have kids. At that moment, you don't
reveal that to him because he's already told you how
he feels.

Speaker 4 (20:19):
Would you go forward with.

Speaker 3 (20:21):
Trying to be in this relationship and hoping maybe he
would change his mind Once he gets to know you,
or you know, would you go forward with that or
would you say, you know what, I'm gonna have to.

Speaker 4 (20:36):
Cut my losses because he's telling me.

Speaker 3 (20:39):
He's telling me what he wants and what he doesn't want,
and what I bring.

Speaker 4 (20:46):
To the table in addition to everything else. I'm a mom.

Speaker 3 (20:51):
He doesn't want to date a mom because he doesn't
do kids. So do you take that as a personal
attack or do you take that as a you know what,
he just gotta get to know me. He just gotta
get to know me, because as soon as he gets
to know me, then he gonna fall in love with me.
And then I'm gonna just be able to apologize for
tell him and I tell him that I got kids.

Speaker 4 (21:12):
But once he.

Speaker 3 (21:13):
Loved me, he gonna see, he gonna see, he gonna
start to love my kids, and he gonna want to
be around my kids.

Speaker 4 (21:19):
Ladies, if you think like.

Speaker 3 (21:22):
That, come close, come close, come a little closer. Knock
it off, knock it off, let him go. He's already
told you he doesn't do kids.

Speaker 4 (21:37):
So guess what.

Speaker 3 (21:39):
If you have kids, He's not your dude, he's not
your person. You have not found the man of your
dreams or whatever the case may be, you have not
found that in him.

Speaker 4 (21:53):
And this particular.

Speaker 3 (21:54):
Man, you know why, because you're a mom and he
doesn't want to do with a mom. So you cannot
be mad at that. And it's not right to try
to deceive somebody when clearly they're telling you what it
is that they want. They're telling you what they don't want,

(22:15):
and it's not up to you. You you made your choice.
You made your choice to become a mom, and nobody
is voting you for that. I don't think listen, I
love being a mother. If a man tells me I
was dating my son coming up and you tell me

(22:35):
you don't want a woman.

Speaker 4 (22:37):
With kids, okay, I can respect that.

Speaker 3 (22:40):
Like listen, as I always say, I don't want a
woman with kids, so you know we're even like I
don't want a woman with kids, so you know I
wouldn't be offended.

Speaker 4 (22:52):
Here's the thing.

Speaker 3 (22:53):
We gotta stop trying to take away people's choices. We
gotta stop taking away their right to want what it
is that they want. You can't get mad because you
don't fall into the category of things that they want
just because you want them. It doesn't necessarily mean that

(23:13):
the you know, the want is going to be mutual.
And once you find yourself hiding details about your life.

Speaker 4 (23:23):
And who you are, then now you're lying.

Speaker 3 (23:26):
Now you're deceiving this person because again, you bring something
to the table that he doesn't want. So let's get
up front. Let's be okay with people telling us what
they want and what they don't want. And if you
don't fit the criteria, it's okay.

Speaker 4 (23:46):
Move on.

Speaker 3 (23:47):
You're not their cup of coffee. Listen, you're not their
bottle of water, and it's okay. Here's the deal. I'll
give you a perfect example. You all see how milky
I love my coffee. Every hates the way I drink
my coffee. Guess what, I don't care because you ain't
got to drink it.

Speaker 4 (24:07):
As long as I like it, that's all that matters.

Speaker 3 (24:11):
So the whole world don't have to like what you
bring to the table or like your situation. All you
need is that one person. I always say, you just
need that one person. You don't need everybody. You just
need the one person and then you, guys, go and
rock out and be great. But we should never be

(24:32):
in position where we are deceiving people to get what
they to get what we want, because again, it's not
gonna do anything but backfire on you and it could
get very, very ugly in the end. And listen when
people are telling you. Listen, I'm like this. When a
person is telling you that they don't like kids, don't

(24:54):
try to force your precious baby on people, because this
is how kids get hurt.

Speaker 4 (25:00):
People.

Speaker 3 (25:00):
They already got it placed in their heart and they
may not listen before you. They may not have been intentionally,
you know, thinking of doing harm to a kid, but
when you put people in situations like yo, you don't
know how people minds will switch and flip. And you
don't want to take that chance with your kids. You

(25:24):
don't want your kids lives and safety to be at
stake because you just had to have that man. You
just had to have that relationship, even though he's telling
you he's not into you like that, he's not into that,
And the how Jane, How's he saying he not into
me like that? Because he's telling you he doesn't want

(25:47):
to deal with someone.

Speaker 4 (25:49):
That has kids.

Speaker 3 (25:51):
So if you have kids, then guess what he's saying,
He's not into you like that because you got kids
and he doesn't want to deal with that, So you
gotta be okay with him not dealing with you in
that area, and you gotta let him make his own decisions.

Speaker 4 (26:09):
So listen, nikking with the dudes that don't want the.

Speaker 3 (26:12):
Kids, and then women too, you come across women that
don't want kids as well, So you gotta be We
gotta be okay with people letting us know what they
want and what they don't want.

Speaker 4 (26:26):
Hey, Gretchen, how you doing.

Speaker 3 (26:28):
We gotta be okay with that because if we're not listen,
we're gonna put ourselves in position, and then this next
hot topic could very well be the case. Now, this
next hot topic, and I'm gonna call this lady everything
but a child of God because I did not like
the way that she did this. So the lady she's

(26:50):
dating the guy, same situation, Her God tells her he
didn't want you know, he didn't want any kids. He
don't want to deal with any kids. So this two
dollars raggedy and I'm not even gonna say the other
words is I don't want to get bad. But this
way goes and drops her kids off with the grandma

(27:11):
because she decided to go forward with the relationship even
though the guy said he didn't want any kids. So
guess what, she went and dropped her kids off and
kept going to go start her new life with her
new man that done told her he didn't want no kids.
Wait a minute, where we doing that at? Where are
we doing that? So you lay down, you make these kids.

(27:35):
They didn't ask to be here, You made them. You
make these kids. And then because you get in another
relationship and they tell you they don't want any kids,
now you're abandoning your child because the new person that
you're with is saying they don't want kids.

Speaker 4 (27:55):
Ma'am, let me tell you something.

Speaker 3 (27:57):
Somebody take her and shake her out the rest of
her because not only is that so low budget, it's
so that's so trifling, so so trifling. You that hard
up for a dude, that you're going to abandon your
children for a man that tells you he don't like kids. Well, ma'am,

(28:22):
you should have thought about that before you was swinging
off the chandelier. Before you was a baby, baby, baby,
you was busting. You was busting that thing wide open
without protection.

Speaker 4 (28:37):
Every rip you.

Speaker 3 (28:38):
Busting that thing wide open. You letting his brother plow
the whole club up several times, or maybe several brothers
plowing that thing up. And now you are a mother.
So now you meet this dude and he says he
don't want kids, and now you going and you dropping

(29:01):
your kids off, abandoning your kids, abandoning your responsibility for
a dude that don't want your responsibility, and rightfully, so
here's the thing. Newsflash, them your kids, Them your kids.
He don't have to accept them, but you don't have

(29:21):
the right to put your kids off, abandon your kids.

Speaker 4 (29:26):
How dare you abandon your kids? How dare you do that.

Speaker 3 (29:31):
Over a dude that ain't gonna want you anyway once
he found out you got kids and you done did
that low budget stuff.

Speaker 4 (29:41):
How do you do that? How can you sleep at
night being it?

Speaker 3 (29:45):
Listen, you're a deadbeat, you matter of fact, you worse
than a dead beat, because you've given your kids up
for a dude that clearly is not going to want
you whatsoever, whatsoever. Your ragley bee pee pee pee.

Speaker 4 (30:03):
Pee pee pee peep.

Speaker 3 (30:04):
It was a whole bunch of other words that I
wanted to say, peep, peep, pee peep, but I don't
even curse. But you know what, y'all can drop some
cuss words for me if y'all want to, because that
is a raggedy situation she'd get in. I'm get out,
go to your grandmother. Grandmama, like where you're going.

Speaker 4 (30:21):
I ain't saying.

Speaker 3 (30:21):
I was watching these kids, the kids getting out with
their little suitcase with the little clothes or something. Reggie
say he don't want our kids, he don't, he don't
even know.

Speaker 4 (30:30):
I got no kids, And Reggie say he loved me something.

Speaker 3 (30:32):
I'm finna go hand out and move on and see
what's going on with Reggie.

Speaker 4 (30:36):
Girl.

Speaker 3 (30:37):
I will come bust all your car windows. I will
bust Reggie's car windows. After I'm done busting his car windows,
I will bust your head to the entire white meat
and will not take you to go get stitches and
leave your kids right there so they can be crying.

Speaker 4 (30:52):
It's then grandmother like you there.

Speaker 3 (30:53):
That to my mom into that cause she's raggedy. That's
why I did it. So I'll bust her head to
the white meat. Solly, when she come to, she can
be in her right mind and pick up what she
left off at being a good mother.

Speaker 4 (31:07):
And she didn't get it right that time. I'm a
bust on the.

Speaker 3 (31:09):
Other side of our head and bust that side, and hopefully
the goal is to bust some sense into that raggedy
head of hers, because on no circumstance do you do
that if you know that there's a chance. Listen, if
you got kids, it's just that plain and simple. You don't,

(31:30):
and somebody is not on board with you and your kids.
This is why we have to talk about this ish
in the beginning.

Speaker 4 (31:38):
Stop waiting to feelings and stuff.

Speaker 3 (31:40):
I'm telling you to me personally, but let me know
what you all think. I think that talking about heavy
stuff and things that we want and things that you
know that could potentially be a deal breaker.

Speaker 4 (31:53):
I think that that stuff.

Speaker 3 (31:55):
Should be addressed up front because I don't want to
start having feelings for you and you having feelings for me.
And now we're sitting up on a bunch of deal breakers.
Now we gotta go through this crazy breakup.

Speaker 4 (32:11):
Now we got feelings.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
Involved, and now because we didn't tackle the deal breakers.
So at least if we had discussed what our situations
were and just been real with it, keep it real.

Speaker 4 (32:26):
You don't have to spill all of your business.

Speaker 3 (32:29):
But it's certain situations that you know may not be
ideal for people like fellas. Okay, listen, you could have
been in jail this. Oh, I've been to jail years ago. Whatever,
and my teens. You know our favorite slogan, and I
believe I believe in this slogan young and dumb because

(32:51):
you got some young folks and they doing dumb things,
and then you got some old folks to do some
dumb things.

Speaker 4 (32:56):
But I don't think they young and dumb.

Speaker 3 (32:59):
To me, I don't think that that's an excuse. That's
just where people were in their lives. I was young
and I did some dumb stuff. It's not saying that
I don't know right from wrong when saying I was
young and dumb. To me, I don't think that that
is trying to escape being held accountable. That's just what
your reason is. What do you want them to make

(33:21):
up a reason? Or well, I had a traumatic childhood
and you know who are you? Are you a therapist?
Are you gonna help somebody unpack all the psychological and
emotional baggage and things that they may deal with as
a result.

Speaker 4 (33:40):
Of, you know, their childhood?

Speaker 3 (33:42):
Are you gonna help people unpack all of this stuff
so sometimes, like sometimes, especially in today, And that's why
we're talking about this a little bit later on in
the show Responsible Dating, because again sometimes we just dating,
we do absolutely too much. We ask too much, and

(34:03):
then we're not even qualified to handle the answers.

Speaker 4 (34:08):
I'm gonna say that again. We ask so much.

Speaker 3 (34:10):
Sometimes we ask so many personal questions, but we're not
qualified to handle a person's answers. And then are we
even looking Are we even listening to understand when we
ask people and what you're trying to get to know somebody?
Are we actually listening to understand or are we listening

(34:33):
to judge people?

Speaker 4 (34:34):
Now, here's the thing. I'm just gonna be honest with you.

Speaker 3 (34:38):
It depends on who you are and what personality is
running dominant for me that day, and that'll let you
know what set of ears are listening to what you
are telling me. If it's my sane self, then I'm
gonna listen with compassion and then understand it. But don't
let that judgmental side of me get that information because

(35:00):
we're gonna judge you. I'm just listen. I'm not going
to lie to you. I'm going to judge you and
I'm going to judge you, and I'm going to laugh
and be critical and all this other stuff if the
wrong side of the personality gets to the information that
you've given me.

Speaker 4 (35:17):
So you need to be aware of that. If the
wrong side, the wrong personality get it.

Speaker 3 (35:23):
Listen, Yeah, we're gonna sit there and we're gonna judge you. Yes,
yes we are, and we're going to enjoy doing that.
But if you get the nice, caring, sensitive, understanding side
of me, then you know all as well. You know
your secret is safe with me, it's safe with the

(35:45):
same person. But if you get this crazy even y'all
know what I'm talking about, if you get hurt, you
know I can't.

Speaker 4 (35:53):
I can't make you any promises, okay you are.

Speaker 3 (35:55):
I cannot make you any promises on how we are
going to process this information.

Speaker 4 (36:01):
All I can tell you.

Speaker 3 (36:02):
Is we will do our best to make sure we
keep it under wraps.

Speaker 4 (36:09):
But I can't promise you that.

Speaker 3 (36:11):
So stop asking people all these questions that you know that,
first of all, you are not going to be in
position to deal with their truth. See here's the thing.
Everybody can't deal with your truth. They can't. And I'm
not saying that you have to reveal every little dirty.

Speaker 4 (36:30):
Thing about yourself. I'm not saying that, but I'm.

Speaker 3 (36:33):
Saying you should reveal things that other people that will
if if they found out, it would affect your relationship.

Speaker 4 (36:43):
Those are the things that I believe.

Speaker 3 (36:46):
Should be revealed because people have a right to make
a decision on what it is and what relationship they
are involved in.

Speaker 4 (36:55):
So again, if you got a record, she may not
want to be with somebody that's been in jail.

Speaker 3 (37:00):
So now why would you wait to y'all, I'm fell
in love and y'all got the first baby on the way.

Speaker 4 (37:04):
Now it's too late.

Speaker 3 (37:05):
Now you done took away her option to break up
with you, because you know, y'all, a'm fell in love.
So the same thing, ladies, you got kids, you got
all these kids or whatever the situation is, and you
know he's telling you that that's a deal breaker for him,
and you're keeping that a secret, Like how.

Speaker 4 (37:24):
Cool is that? How dare you do that?

Speaker 3 (37:26):
So we definitely gotta think twice about holding these type
of things.

Speaker 4 (37:30):
My thing is this, get it out there and the beginning. Listen.

Speaker 3 (37:34):
If you won't listen, all blurted all out there on
the first date, So therefore I don't have to worry about.

Speaker 4 (37:41):
Falling in love down the line.

Speaker 3 (37:43):
Now you ripping my heart out and stepping on it
and taking a tt on it when we could have
just went through this stuff in the beginning. Or listen
vice versa for him. Listen, I'm gonna ask you. And
people always say, Jay, that's so invasive, and how do
you act? That's so personal? What I want to talk
about credit because it's important to me and it's a

(38:06):
deal breaker. So you don't have to tell me what
your fighter score is. But I'm gonna ask you what
neighborhood is your fight a score in? See, it's a
way to do everything. What neighborhood are you in? Are
you in the three hundred neighborhood? Are we in the
four hundred neighborhood? Are we in the five hundred neighborhood?

(38:27):
Are we in the six hundred neighborhood? Are we in
the seven hundred neighborhood? Because you know anything, listen, you
choose whatever neighborhood you comfortable with. Okay, but I'm gonna
tell you it's a certain neighborhood. I'm not gonna be listen,
you know it is what it is, So we have
to talk about those things.

Speaker 4 (38:49):
Listen, what is your detiation? Your income? Do you all
bout back child support?

Speaker 3 (38:55):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (38:55):
Ladies, look are you paint? Listen?

Speaker 3 (38:58):
Fellas, I got y'all listen. I just thought of it.
Just came to the thinking thing, ladies, are you paying
full market rent? Or are you still getting Section eight?
Are you sneaking agatting Section eight? You know, and you
got these brothers you out here living in the biggest penthouse,
but you up here on section eight. These are things

(39:19):
that people have a right to know because he thinking
that you can afford to.

Speaker 4 (39:24):
Live how you live?

Speaker 3 (39:25):
Or now don't I don't want to hear it all, Jay,
that ain't his business. That ain't his business. Hey Michael,
how you doing that?

Speaker 4 (39:34):
Ain't all Jake? Now say that's too much? No no, no, no no,
don't don't hate j that's too much.

Speaker 3 (39:38):
Because if we can ask them questions, then they have
the right to ask us questions as well. So it's like, listen,
he needs to know that, he needs to know, are
you is that a section A voucher that you have
your apartment with?

Speaker 4 (39:53):
Because if it is, then let that's letting him know
that listen.

Speaker 3 (39:57):
Your finances might not be where they it should be
if you are not able to pay your rent at
market value. Again, I'm not judging you, and I'm not
saying that nobody should be jumping down your throat because
you are not paying market value rent. What I'm saying
is just like we as women have a right to

(40:18):
ask me and certain questions, especially we love to get
up into it about financing the things of that nature finances,
then they have the right to ask the same thing.
So fellas, that is a question. I just gave y'all
a question because I know a lot of y'all not
thinking about that. But see, I know things, So that's
why I'm putting it. I'm gonna giving y'all a little game.
Ask her if that's if that's dog on it? Is

(40:41):
she paying market value for that rent? Or is that
section eight? That's what I would ask her. Ask her
if it's section eight and again, then you can know
how to proceed accordingly.

Speaker 4 (40:53):
And tremain is saying how long have you been in
that apartment?

Speaker 3 (40:56):
Absolutely absolutely you can definitely asks that because those are
important questions.

Speaker 4 (41:03):
Do you ever intend to become a homeowner?

Speaker 3 (41:06):
These are like I said that if you want to
become a homeowner, I'll probably act that later on down
the line.

Speaker 4 (41:12):
But things that I know that would.

Speaker 3 (41:14):
Be a deal breaker, Like okay, man, if that's your
deal breaker, how long that they've been renting or in
an apartment, then yeah, I would let that. Listen, if
that's my deal breaker, that's my deal break. And you
have a right to have that as whatever it is
that you want. But my thing is things that you

(41:35):
know that you just it's just an absolute no no
for you, Like why not talk about those things up front?
And I know people will say, well, you know what, dang, Jay,
you gotta give a person a chance to get to
know you or get to know a person and then
you know, ease into those type of situations. But here's
a thing. How am I gonna ease And what's that

(41:57):
to ease into? If your credit score is in the
neighborhood of three hundred or four hundred, what is that
to ease into? There's nothing, he's into it. He could
be a good dude. You messing out on a good dude.
You missing out on a good dude. Listen, I gotta
see all of that, Like, listen, now, A lot of
stuff has happened COVID and all this other ish has happened.

(42:22):
So my thing is, again talk, don't just cut it
off like after that, see what the story is, because
again it could be a story that makes sense.

Speaker 4 (42:32):
And now you could see, oh wow, there's light at
the end of the tunnel.

Speaker 3 (42:40):
Man he had his own business and it went barey
up during COVID, and now his score is in this
neighborhood up.

Speaker 4 (42:49):
You know what, this guy.

Speaker 3 (42:50):
We can work with this guy because guess what he
had it before he lost it? Less rebuild. Okay, okay, okay,
we can work with this. But if you've always been
in that neighborhood but you got the flyers car and
all of this other stuff, you know that that's probably

(43:12):
gonna be a problem. Tremaine is also saying health, absolutely,
that's a great that's a great question as well to
talk about that. People don't really talk about that, and
that can be Man, these are sensitive things, and I'm
not saying that to just go and blurt out your
whole entire life.

Speaker 4 (43:32):
I'm not saying that.

Speaker 3 (43:33):
But what I am saying is there's a way to
act things or kind of bring up certain subjects in conversation,
just so that you can kind of put those things
out there, because sometimes listen, just by talking and just
having general conversation, but guiding that conversation in the direction
in which you wanted to go to find out the

(43:56):
things that you want to find out, that can be
very helpful.

Speaker 4 (44:01):
And a lot of times I don't think that we
do that.

Speaker 3 (44:03):
So we definitely gotta make sure that we are doing that,
are doing our due diligence to get to know each other.
Tremain You're right, he said. Spending habits, Listen, spending habits?
Are you no listen? Are you in debt? Like I said,
it's so many different questions, and again you don't listen.
You ask the right one question. You don't even need

(44:26):
no follow ups. You don't even need no follow ups
in some cases. So again, we just gotta sit down
and talk and just get to know each other. But
if your deal breaker comes up, if it's something that
you present to the table, or you present to the
relationship or the situation, and it's that person's deal breaker, listen,

(44:50):
be adult enough. I'm not gonna say man enough a woman,
because this applies to both be adult enough to fall
back and exit the situation because us you know that
just based upon talking to each other, that you meet
some things, and it's some things in your life that
they don't necessarily want.

Speaker 4 (45:09):
In their life.

Speaker 3 (45:10):
And guess what, people have the right to want what
they want in their lives or not in their lives.

Speaker 4 (45:18):
And we have to be okay with that.

Speaker 3 (45:20):
Guys, We're gonna take a short musical break and when
we return, we have more hot topics to get into.

Speaker 4 (45:26):
Stay tuned.

Speaker 3 (45:27):
You're listening to the j spot where we are strengthening
relationships and families one conversation at a time.

Speaker 4 (45:40):
You prove me.

Speaker 1 (45:43):
Been saying, O, it's that just sleep Beam Sunday, the

(46:11):
shot of double me.

Speaker 6 (46:15):
Oh no, no, I never had it at your silver
until I'm at you, and I don't know it.

Speaker 1 (46:24):
He is just a phase I'll go through.

Speaker 4 (46:27):
But I feel that is true. We don't need no
labor Spade.

Speaker 1 (46:35):
Well, we got it something different.

Speaker 5 (46:39):
We don't need no labors made, lady, We don't need
no labor.

Speaker 1 (46:48):
Shore then we'll be having something special shape.

Speaker 4 (46:55):
For sure. For sure, I don't feel it's one I stand.

Speaker 6 (47:03):
It's the love you hear her say, loving Paradise lifestand yes,
the sweep you off your feet, have you everything you need.

Speaker 1 (47:17):
And that's a little feels.

Speaker 7 (47:18):
That don't big off the phone because we want to
be alone. And I never thought of in this wave
and you came along and from you. No no, I
never had an entry friend until I met you.

Speaker 6 (47:35):
Still love me and I don't know if it's really,
if it's really it's just a phase of but I
feel that is true.

Speaker 5 (47:47):
We don't need no label's name.

Speaker 4 (47:50):
Well we got is something different.

Speaker 5 (47:54):
We don't need no label's name, lady. We don't need
no labey.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
Well having something special.

Speaker 7 (48:15):
Since she came in my life, I see so clear
and now hell so special, no need.

Speaker 3 (48:28):
Welcome back to the j Spot, where we are strengthening
relationships and families one conversation at a time. Guys, I
want to thank you all so much for tuning in.
Please do me a favor. Go to our page and
like our page at the J Spot, Follow us on
Twitter at j spot. Also follow us on Instagram at

(48:49):
the J Spot and Jay spelled j A y E
for all three Why you Eddie go right around the corner,
Go to YouTube, like and subscribe to our channel. They're
the Jaspot Radio. Go to TikTok as well like and
follow us. There that's the Jay spot again, guys. Jay
is j a y e. Guys, turn on the notification

(49:14):
bills for all platforms.

Speaker 4 (49:16):
Want to thank you guys so much for joining me.

Speaker 3 (49:20):
Allow me to, you know, just chatter a bit, okay,
a lot in your ear as you are driving, cooking,
or doing whatever it is that you're doing.

Speaker 4 (49:28):
Thank you so much for tuning in guys, listen. Update.

Speaker 3 (49:33):
Just want to let you know also that I still
do not have access to my group Grown and Sexy
Conversations with Jay.

Speaker 4 (49:41):
It was hacked almost a month ago and these.

Speaker 3 (49:44):
Bastards are posting just anything they are post Listen. Let
me tell y'all, anybody that's a member of Grown and
Sexy Conversations with Jay, I do not have control of
that group anymore.

Speaker 4 (49:56):
They the hackers, have taken over the group.

Speaker 3 (49:59):
They are posting some bull JUNKI because I'm gonna tell you, baby,
if that was still my group, I still and I'm
fighting to try to get it back you all, but
as of right now, I have not had any luck
with getting my group back group of over one hundred
thousand people. But the foolishness that that's being posted up
in there. I said, oh my god, if I was listen,

(50:21):
if it wouldn't have been considered spam, I would be
getting on this post and be like, you know what,
y'all bogus is Heck, had this been me still in control,
none of this stuff would have been on this page
because this is some foolishness. So I'm I'm I'm definitely
disheartened because they are what I've worked for so hard
since twenty fifteen. They are literally, you know, letting my

(50:45):
group go to pitts like it's just it's you know,
it's and it's sad to.

Speaker 4 (50:50):
See it watch.

Speaker 3 (50:50):
So but again, I am working to try to see
what I can do if hopefully I can at some
point get my group back. But in the anytime in between,
time listen. The show must go on. So please join
us at Grown and Sexy Conversations with the jspot.

Speaker 4 (51:09):
That's our backup group.

Speaker 3 (51:10):
That's where we have been kicking it at for the
last few weeks. It's a smaller group, but guys, with
your help, we can be back at one hundred thousand
in no time with all of your help, So listen.
Add like minded people to the group. Now, Listen, we
not trying to be on this bull junkie. Add like
minded people that want to have a conversation, that know

(51:31):
how to have a conversation, that understands that everybody is
not going to agree.

Speaker 4 (51:36):
With your views. Ladies, listen, my feminist ladies. I love y'all. Okay,
but I'm not a feminist. Okay, I'm not a feminist. Okay,
I'm not.

Speaker 3 (51:47):
I believe in Listen, what's good for the goose is
good for the gander. So do not holler at me,
and do not come talking about somewhere you're still approving
those type of posts. And I think that this instant,
this is not the group for you, ma'am, This is
not the group for you, because we are going.

Speaker 4 (52:04):
To freely talk.

Speaker 3 (52:06):
If women are freely able to talk and ask questions
and post things that don't violate the community standards, then
the men are gonna be able to do the same thing.
So if you're not okay with that them, this is
not the platform. Like following me and being a part
of our platforms are not the place for you, because baby,

(52:28):
we're gonna talk and everybody gonna here's the theme. Everybody
gonna get mad. I'm gonna tick everybody off. Okay, everybody's
gonna get ticked off. The men gonna get ticked off,
the women gonna get ticked off, the kids gonna get
ticked off, the dog gonna get ticked off, the fish ooh.

Speaker 4 (52:46):
And I just can't wait for them cicadas to die.
That's just a sidebar, but I just can't.

Speaker 3 (52:50):
But everybody gonna get ticked off because listen, I'm an
equal opportunity crap talker. Okay, it just it is, so
nobody is safe. We're gonna talk crap about everybody in
love and then guess what. We're gonna talk crap and
we're gonna move on. See talk crap and then we
move on. We're not gonna get stuck there and get

(53:11):
all up in the feelings because that's not what we
do over here and growing and sexy conversations with the
j spot. So, Masha, I hope I'm pronouncing your name right,
you say, I hope, I really hope you get your
page back. This is ridiculous. Thank you so much, love,
I really hope so as well. And I thank you
for being over here and supporting and rocking with us.

(53:32):
But guys, listen our next hot topic. Now, ladies, let
me know, child, what do you all think about this?
If fellas, if your wife gives a man her number, meant,
if a man gives a woman gives your wife his

(53:54):
number and she accepts it, but she does it intend
on responding or answering if and when he texts or calls?

Speaker 4 (54:09):
Is that cheating? Okay, let me repeat that.

Speaker 3 (54:13):
Your wife gets a man's number, gets a man gives
a man her number, but she says, listen, I don't
intend on answering if he calls or if he texts.

Speaker 4 (54:28):
Is that considered cheating?

Speaker 3 (54:32):
You're giving You're married and you're giving somebody else your
phone number?

Speaker 4 (54:36):
Is that considered cheating? So my thing is.

Speaker 3 (54:39):
This, I'm not sure why are you giving your number
if you don't intend on responding? Like, I don't see
what would be the purpose of giving your number to
someone if you don't intend on answering. So that's just
me So like, baby, girl, you can miss me with

(55:02):
that bull junkie because I'm just like, Okay, well, what
sense does it make for you to give somebody your number?
You didn't even give Femo the wrong number, You gave
the right number. And now you sitting up here expecting
me to believe that you're not gonna answer it if
he calls.

Speaker 4 (55:20):
What was the purpose?

Speaker 3 (55:21):
Like, why give your phone number if you're not gonna
answer it?

Speaker 4 (55:25):
Hello, ma'am listen, uh fam.

Speaker 3 (55:28):
She think that you was born on that on on
on the slow bus. She think that you were born
in the umbilical cord is still wrapped around your neck.
That's what she thinks. By telling you some smith like that,
is it cheating?

Speaker 4 (55:42):
No?

Speaker 3 (55:42):
But I mean it's like it's opened the door. It's
opening the door for some foolishness. It's just like, if
you're gonna give your number, what you've given your number
for so you can call some or he can call you,
and y'all can start.

Speaker 4 (55:57):
Good morning King, good morning queen.

Speaker 3 (55:59):
Y'all can start all that bull junkie, and then your
husband make you mad the right day and then there
y'all are out. Now y'all talking out. Now you venting
to him about what's going on with your your spouse
and all this other stuff. So just be very very
careful with that. Maysha is saying, did she give her

(56:22):
number for business?

Speaker 4 (56:24):
What it didn't say? She gave for business.

Speaker 3 (56:25):
And it's like, if she gave it for business, then
that would be fine because then she wouldn't have to say, well, well,
if he calls or if he texts, I'm not gonna answer.
So by her based upon her reply, Masha, in my opinion,
I don't think she gave the number for business purposes
because she her response to her husband was well, if

(56:49):
he cowns, I'm not gonna answer, I'm not gonna respond
to his text message girl, bye bye bye. And by
pretty Tasha, you're saying right, there is no sense of
doing that. It makes no sense at all. That is
not honesty. I will just tell him that I got
a man, so it's not appropriate to give him my number.
Give my number to him. Absolutely.

Speaker 4 (57:11):
And here's the thing.

Speaker 3 (57:12):
If you are in doing business, because I'm like this,
you know you have to give your number if you're
doing business and if you're networking. But here's listen, here's
where the trickery comes in at and here's who Here's
where you have to be the best version of yourself
because if you are doing business and you give this

(57:37):
man your number, but clearly, clearly this man was flirting
with you, Clearly this man was trying to get with you,
you know, good and foolery, well that you is gonna
be a chance that this is gonna be a a
personal conversation. This conversation, your conversations, and your connection with

(57:59):
him is not going to be about business. You know
why because he already showed you upfront with this flirting
that it was not going to be about business. So
go ahead on and tell your happy home up. If
you want to playing around, trying to play the field, okay,
keep on, because what I'd be wondering is, okay, how

(58:19):
many other women.

Speaker 4 (58:20):
Are he doing this stuff? That's what I would be wondering.

Speaker 3 (58:23):
But listen, don't take a chance again. If it's legit business,
let's do business.

Speaker 4 (58:28):
Let's rock and roll. Let's listen. I do business all
the time. Listen, give me a card out. Listen.

Speaker 3 (58:33):
If you listen and I'm quick to shut him down, listen,
I'm single. I should not look I'm lost. You called
me and I gave you my number under business circumstances,
and you're calling me. So what you're doing Friday, bastard?

(58:53):
See what I'm saying. You wasting my time? Listen, dude,
I'm trying to make some money and build some stuff,
and you sitting up here trying to pillowtoal get up
out of here with all that I'm trying to make
some money.

Speaker 4 (59:05):
I thought you were serious. Listen, I'm gonna tell you
you have no idea how many.

Speaker 3 (59:10):
Times I have went off like that thinking that I've
met a realtor and you just call it trying to
trying to get up.

Speaker 4 (59:20):
Yo, I'm trying to get Listen.

Speaker 3 (59:22):
Oh my goodness, how many times I've met construction workers
or thinking you know contractors and you trying to so
what you're doing this weekend looking for a contractor?

Speaker 4 (59:35):
Because clearly I didn't find one in you. So that
is frustrating. I'm not saying that it happens.

Speaker 3 (59:42):
A lot, but oh when it does, trust me, I
go off just like a gasket because you're wasting my time,
like I'm trying to make some things happen. And if
we're I'm thinking we're networking and you thinking we.

Speaker 4 (59:58):
About the network.

Speaker 3 (01:00:00):
Come on, we got two different things, we got two
different agendas.

Speaker 4 (01:00:04):
Get out of here, fog. Oh Lord, have mercy.

Speaker 3 (01:00:07):
So yes, if you're giving him your number, just to
give him your number and then you're saying, oh wait,
if he called me, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna.

Speaker 4 (01:00:18):
I'm not gonna answer.

Speaker 3 (01:00:20):
Ma'am, you are definitely on some bull junkie and you
need to just get your stuff together, pretty Tasha saying yes,
if it's for business purposes.

Speaker 4 (01:00:30):
Then it would be more acceptable.

Speaker 3 (01:00:32):
And Masha is saying she is definitely wrong, and she
definitely did intend to cheat, absolutely because as soon as
he started texting that.

Speaker 4 (01:00:39):
Good morning queen.

Speaker 3 (01:00:41):
You know, y'all know that's how that's how, that's how
they start off, good morning queen, good morning beautiful, I'd
be like, oh God, here we go, here we go,
here we go. With this bull junkie. I just be like,
you know what, y'all, you know what I'll start I'm
gonna start doing. I'm gonna start saying, you know what,
just put us all in the same group and just

(01:01:03):
send one group text because you're wasting time sending all
these individual copying and pasting the same good morning queen,
good morning, queen, good morning, bool, good morning.

Speaker 4 (01:01:13):
You're wasting time doing that.

Speaker 3 (01:01:15):
Just put us all in the same group and just
send out one massive text message and then just get
it over with so that we can all just respond
to the same text message because we know that it's
other good morning, beautifuls, good morning this.

Speaker 4 (01:01:31):
You know, that's why y'all don't say the names.

Speaker 3 (01:01:35):
I'd be like, oh boy, here we go, here we
go again with this bull junkie.

Speaker 4 (01:01:39):
But yeah, ladies, don't, don't don't get caught up in
this situation.

Speaker 3 (01:01:44):
Don't don't fall for the oakie dog, because I think
that that is very deceitful, it's very dishonest, and it's
it's low budget and it's listen, you about to tear
up your home, You about to risk it all, and
you're saying that, oh, well, you didn't intend to use
the phone number. You didn't intend to do anything like that.

(01:02:05):
So listen, like, don't put yourself in that type of position.
Now you all listen. What do you all think about this?
Now this was a very interesting topic. So here's the deal.
The lady says her husband works the night shift and
he gets home at about seven o'clock in the morning,
and he likes to take a shower when.

Speaker 4 (01:02:26):
He gets home, as he should. The problem is.

Speaker 3 (01:02:30):
She says that her daughter likes to shower before school
in the morning and is not out, you know, by
the time the father gets off. So the husband told
her to talk to her daughter about her morning routine
because it interferes with his shower time after he's come

(01:02:51):
in from a long night at work. He wants to
take a shower when he gets home and be able
to relax. But your daughter is in there, so he's
asking you to talk to her because it's it's interfering
with him.

Speaker 4 (01:03:07):
So she says that I feel that he is wrong.

Speaker 3 (01:03:11):
Because she is a teenage girl who is trying to
make sure listen you all, she's trying to make sure
she looks okay for school.

Speaker 4 (01:03:23):
He thinks that since he pays all.

Speaker 3 (01:03:25):
The she said, he thinks because he pays all the bills,
he is entitled to showering in the morning, knowing she
has to go to school.

Speaker 4 (01:03:36):
My daughter showers.

Speaker 3 (01:03:37):
Thirty minutes before he gets home and has to go
into and out to fix her hair and brush her teeth,
et cetera. How can I get him to see listen
you all, this woman listen, she says, how can I
get him The husband, the one that works overnight night shift,

(01:03:59):
that's just trying to come home and get a shower
she's saying, how can she get her husband to understand
that he's being selfish?

Speaker 4 (01:04:12):
Whoo child?

Speaker 3 (01:04:14):
He the man works overnight, he gets off at seven
o'clock in the morning. He wants to come home and
take a shower in a wind but he can't do
that because yr daughter, your high school daughter, is in

(01:04:35):
the shower and she's fixing her hair and all this
other ish before a dad gets home. And the wife
wants to know, how does she tell the husband and
how does she let him know that he is selfish?
What do you all think about that? Is the husband

(01:04:56):
selfish for wanting to come home after working all night
and getting off and getting home at seven o'clock in
the morning. Is he wrong for wanting to come home
and take a shower? But he wants his wife to

(01:05:16):
talk to their daughter and ask her to rearrange the
time in which she takes a shower because when he
gets home from a long night of work, he wants
to be able to take a shower. But the wife
wants to know, how does she tell the husband he's
being selfish?

Speaker 4 (01:05:38):
Ma'am? If you don't get your.

Speaker 3 (01:05:41):
Whole understanding together, if you don't get your whole in
taya understanding together. Maisha says that she needs to adjust
her daughter time for using the bathroom or she needs
to pay all the bills since he's selfish. I'm with
you on that. What why can't you tell you got

(01:06:02):
a girl? Listen, if she wants to do all that
beauty prepping, listen, she needs to get up and she
needs to be out the bathroom before your husband gets home.
And she needs to leave enough time so that the
water is hot for him so he can take his
bath how he wants to. Ma'am yourself, your husband is

(01:06:25):
not selfish. I don't understand you're selfish.

Speaker 4 (01:06:30):
You don't get it.

Speaker 3 (01:06:31):
How are you not taking care of the person that's
taking care of you and your daughter? How are you
not taking care of the man that is providing everything
for you all? How are you not saying? How are
you not.

Speaker 4 (01:06:47):
Seeing that he is good? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:06:50):
I understand that your daughter has to look cute and
all this and that, but my man gotta be taken
care of.

Speaker 4 (01:06:56):
Your daddy. It's my job to take care of this man.

Speaker 3 (01:07:00):
I promise to take care of him, to love him
and to make sure he was okay, ma'am, Baby girl, baby, tutz.

Speaker 4 (01:07:08):
We gonna have to figure something out for you.

Speaker 3 (01:07:11):
So you go in there and you take you either
take your shower over at night, or you get up
at five o'clock in the morning and you take your shower,
and then we'll get you some mirrors and stuff so
that you can fix yourself. You can play Beauty Shop
Part two up in your room. But what you're not
gonna be doing is hogging that bathroom. When my man

(01:07:32):
get home, my husband, yo, daddy, the breadwinner, when he
get home. What you not gonna do is be in
that bathroom. That's what you're not gonna do. What you're
not gonna do is be giving him no lip about
him getting in the bathroom. He's gonna be able to
get in the bathroom, take as much time as he need,

(01:07:54):
and do whatever he needs to do to unwind from
coming in from a long night, hard night at work.

Speaker 4 (01:08:01):
That's what he's gonna do. That's what we gonna do.
That's it. That's all. Oh, well, how do I get
him to see he's selfish? Ma'am?

Speaker 3 (01:08:10):
He's not selfish. You got the game twisted, you got
the whole entil you said this man, come listen, you
ain't saying he's cheating. You not saying he's going fifty
to fifty. You not saying he doesn't pay the bills.
You not saying any of that. You're telling us this

(01:08:34):
man wants to simply come home and be able to
take a shower when he gets home, and you saying
that this brother is selfish because he want to wash
his behind in peace and not have.

Speaker 4 (01:08:48):
To worry about Russian ma'am, get it together.

Speaker 3 (01:08:52):
But this is the thing. It's like, we have to
think about stuff like this, like, ma'am, did you not
consider your vows? Your husband is first? And it's like
this is a conversation, like do people even have this conversation?
Like are we having this conversation? What does the family
structure look like to you? What is the family dynamic?

(01:09:17):
I think that that's a question that people really legitly
need to start asking, like what is the family because
clearly people have different values and different ways that they
view the family hierarchy. Listen, I know that some of
us may not like to hear that word, but there

(01:09:38):
is a family hierarchy.

Speaker 4 (01:09:40):
There is there clearly is.

Speaker 3 (01:09:43):
If you're married, it's the husband, the wife, and then
the kids.

Speaker 4 (01:09:50):
That's the way it is.

Speaker 3 (01:09:51):
Listen for or who listen for all these other family
type structures. I can't speak for that because I know
only that you're de family strength.

Speaker 4 (01:10:01):
But whatever it is, there's a hierarchy, there's a hierarchy.

Speaker 3 (01:10:07):
It has to be followed. Again, the mother in law
ain't over there. You know, it's not your mama and
your mama and them should not be over the you
know it should not be. And a lot of times
we get into these situations because we're not talking about
this beforehand.

Speaker 4 (01:10:28):
So now this is why you have a problem.

Speaker 3 (01:10:31):
This is why you're thinking that your husband is selfish
because I'm not sure did you black out when you
were giving your vows when you were saying I do
to this man?

Speaker 4 (01:10:41):
Did you black out?

Speaker 3 (01:10:42):
Or were you one of those brides that had the
preacher not say certain things? And so now you don't
know that you're supposed to put him first. Maybe you
had those type of vows, but you probably gotta go
back and just you know, figure out what's what. And
maybe you guys don't have that traditional type of set

(01:11:03):
up in your house. Maybe he's not the type of
dude that you know, is that strict on that type
of hierarchy. But if he's asking you for this, how
do you feel that he's selfish? How do you feel
that he's selfish for asking you? Listen, can you make

(01:11:23):
sure the bathroom is the bathroom is free when I
get home, because see, had it.

Speaker 4 (01:11:31):
Been growing up in our household. Let me tell you something.

Speaker 3 (01:11:33):
Let me say you what my stepfather did to us,
maybe taught us a real good lesson. Wait first made
saying also, if your house, and if you're in a house,
add another bathroom.

Speaker 4 (01:11:45):
Yeah, I definitely was thinking about that.

Speaker 3 (01:11:47):
Too, like if you're financially in position to do so,
but if you're not, baby girl, gotta get up and
get out of there, because my man is coming to
take your shower. And that's who's gonna take your shower
with some hot water, and he gonna be take as
long as long as he's gonna need to, because my
man is my husband, is your daddy, and he paying
the bills, even if he was not her biological father.

(01:12:10):
And if he's paying the bills, get show in out
that bathroom, because it's my man's time, it's the prayer
winner's time to be in the bathroom. And we gotta
be okay, and listen, don't start with that. How you
gonna put a man before your kids. You said you
chose him, you said I do. So when you said

(01:12:32):
I do, that's what you were saying to do. You
were saying that you will put him first. That's what
you Listen, that's what you told the pastor and your family.
And I'm not me.

Speaker 4 (01:12:42):
You told your pastors I do I do.

Speaker 3 (01:12:45):
You said that, not me, So you can't say that
he's being selfish when he's holding you to the vows
that you made. Because listen, let me tell you something
I remember. Listen, my stuff, God rest his soul.

Speaker 4 (01:13:02):
Baby.

Speaker 3 (01:13:03):
Let me tell you when I'm talking, when I tear
you Patty, oh lord, So now listen. He came in
and it was six of us at the time, and
you know he was Listen, it takes crazy and Patty
to deal with crazy and Petty.

Speaker 4 (01:13:24):
He was crazy and Patty and so were we.

Speaker 3 (01:13:26):
So I feel like we were definitely our family was
a match made in the pit, because listen, we deserved
him and he deserved us, so he would always It
was five girls, well, it was four girls at the time.
It was four girls, and so we would all, you know, listen,

(01:13:46):
a same situation.

Speaker 4 (01:13:48):
One bathroom.

Speaker 3 (01:13:50):
We're in there, everybody's up in there taking a time,
you know, doing They had just everybody, all girls getting cute.
You just need that extra time, baby, be listening. He
would be trying to get in there to use the barethroom.

Speaker 4 (01:14:04):
And he just would be trying to get in the bathroom.

Speaker 3 (01:14:06):
It don't matter when he was just always trying to
get in the bathroom. And once we figured out, like
it seemed like every time we were in the bathroom,
he needed to get in there, so he and he
was trying to use the bathroom. So one day, baby,
this man got tired of trying to get in the
bathroom to use the bathroom.

Speaker 4 (01:14:28):
We came home one day, baby, he took the toilet out.

Speaker 3 (01:14:33):
That man disconnected the toilet and sat it in the
and sat it in the bathtub, and he put a
sign on that. And he also told us if he
couldn't use the bathroom, nobody in that house was gonna
use the bathroom.

Speaker 4 (01:14:51):
Baby.

Speaker 3 (01:14:51):
Let me tell you, listen, I bet you we straightened
up real quick, and he never had an issue with
getting in the bathroom again. Because it's like listen, who
wants to have to go? And thankfully we had our
family member live next door, but that only lasted for
about a day like they like.

Speaker 4 (01:15:12):
Listen, y'all ain't for to be all. Y'all ain't for
to be coming over here. Baby. That fixed us real quick.

Speaker 3 (01:15:18):
So don't have it where the father he got to
take the he gotta turn the water off and do
all of this other stuff just to get some respect
up in his own house just to be able to
use the barethrone.

Speaker 4 (01:15:30):
We should be more mindful than that.

Speaker 3 (01:15:34):
So we definitely have to make sure that we are
doing better. We gotta do much much better. But ma'am,
your husband was not the one that was the weakest
link in this situation. You are the weakest link and
goodbye because.

Speaker 4 (01:15:49):
No, ma'am, no, ma'am, no ham.

Speaker 3 (01:15:53):
We are not about to do that now listen. Speaking
of not about to do that, what do you all
think about this?

Speaker 4 (01:16:01):
Now? See this because this kind of ish it goes
on as well. Now, look, you dating somebody and.

Speaker 3 (01:16:09):
They ghost you, would you keep calling them just to
try to get closure you realize that you've been ghosted?
Would you keep calling and texting a person to try
to get.

Speaker 4 (01:16:26):
Closure or would you leave it at that?

Speaker 3 (01:16:30):
You've been ghosted, They ghost you, not responding to your
text message, not responding to your call. Would you keep
calling to see what happened? Would you keep calling to
try to get closure? Or would you just let it go?

Speaker 4 (01:16:47):
See? My thing is this when you talk about ghosting.

Speaker 3 (01:16:52):
Listen, I didn't never I never realized that that was
a real thing, like up until like years, like years ago,
Like I.

Speaker 4 (01:17:01):
Was ghosted and I was just like wait, what, like.

Speaker 3 (01:17:06):
Okay, okay, I'm like okay, we were doing that, and
I was shocked because I didn't know what was going on,
like one day you were having a conress. Now listen,
I've been dumped and some listen. I've had some interesting
dumping stories I can tell you all.

Speaker 4 (01:17:24):
Listen.

Speaker 3 (01:17:25):
We can laugh and just sip coffee over the stories,
the dumping stories I've had. Listen, they listen when I
tell you they they've come listened.

Speaker 4 (01:17:34):
I've had some comical, some comical being dumped sessions. Listen, Yes,
oh Jane, how you gonna listen?

Speaker 3 (01:17:42):
I don't care that was they lost, but listen back
to this ghosting ish, But I didn't know what it
was I'm like, I thought something had happened to him
because I never had been ghosted. And then so when
I just realized, I'm like, okay, well, ain't nothing happened.
He's just he gone. I'm like okay. So I was

(01:18:05):
just like, dang, like what happened? So being ghosted will
cause you to have a oh my god, like what happened?

Speaker 4 (01:18:15):
Like what did I do wrong? Or what happened? Where
did we go wrong? Or any of that.

Speaker 3 (01:18:20):
But now once I realized what it was, I'm just like, well,
you know, you have to stop. Sometimes there is no closure.
Sometimes the ghost is the closure. So once my thing
was this, how first of all, you got to determine, like,

(01:18:42):
let's figure out if you've been ghosted, because if you
like me, you like, wait a minute, what like huh,
I'm like, okay.

Speaker 4 (01:18:51):
It wasn't that deep.

Speaker 3 (01:18:52):
You could have just said something like and I'll always
say that I'm very vocal about this one thing.

Speaker 4 (01:19:00):
If you're no longer.

Speaker 3 (01:19:02):
Checking for me, if no, if I no longer do
it for you, just say something. I'm not gonna call you,
I'm not gonna chase you, I'm not gonna do any
of that. Just let me know and that's it. You
will never hear from me again. That's my anthem. I
live by that. Like if you not, if you're no

(01:19:25):
longer Team Jay, just say that I'm okay.

Speaker 4 (01:19:30):
But see today, people.

Speaker 3 (01:19:33):
Today are very very very malicious a lot of people today,
And that's gonna this ghosting is gonna lead us into
our topic tonight of responsible dating. But when you ghost
a person, unless it's for safety reasons, I can understand

(01:19:55):
that sometimes you just gotta get away if it's for
safety reasons. But these are no safety reason situations. So
let's talk about it. If you call them the moment
you realize that nothing is wrong with them and they've

(01:20:18):
just checked out and you've been ghosted, let it go.
Don't send an emotional message trying to get closure and
all this and that, because they're not gonna give it
to you. The ghost is the closure. You have to
accept the closure, and you gotta find out.

Speaker 4 (01:20:37):
A way to deal with it. However, you have to
deal with it.

Speaker 3 (01:20:41):
And I would say this, don't if a person ghosts
you and it's not for safety reasons, do not go
examining yourself and find trying to find fault with yourself.
If they did not give you any closure if you
did not get a reason for me. I'm not blaming myself.
I'm just gonna say I didn't do it for this brother,

(01:21:02):
and that's just what it was. I didn't do it
for you, and he did not respect me enough to
tell me I didn't do it for him, and I'm
okay with that. So now listen, no sweat, no harm,
no foul, because that's where it is. So I've given
my own self my closure because clearly you don't want
to talk anymore. Clearly you didn't think that it was

(01:21:26):
worth you giving a proper exit, and I'm okay with that.

Speaker 4 (01:21:30):
I'm okay with that. Do I like it? Absolutely not?

Speaker 3 (01:21:33):
What I respect you for that, absolutely not, because it
don't have to be done like this a lot of times,
Pretty Tasha. You're saying some people have hangups and don't
want to say what is so they would rather avoid you.
It does not mean you did anything wrong to them.
I understand that. Hey, Cedric, how you doing? I understand that,

(01:21:55):
Pretty Tasha. But my thing is, if a person is
texting you and you just dropped off without any anything,
I mean, fade out now here. Here's I'm with that
pretty Tasha. I'm a faid I'm a fade out type person.
I'm a fade out. I'm a fade out. We gonna

(01:22:17):
eventually stop going out and stop hanging out and things
like that because I'm fading out. Like you'll ask, you know,
you wanna go out, Let's go get something to eat? No,
not tonight, you know, No, I'm not really up for it.
And once you start getting it, I'm really not up
for because sometimes I don't wanna be confrontational. I don't

(01:22:37):
want to you know, have any bad blood. I just
don't want to do that. So I just fade back.
But I'm not going to just disappear in you're texting
me and not respond to the text message or not
respond to a phone call. I'm not gonna do that. So,
like that's the part that gets me. It is the

(01:23:00):
not responding. Like again, if it gets too much in that,
they keep asking and like, man, you know what's going on?
Like I mean, do you want to be bothered anymore?
Like I mean, is this over? Did you find something else?
Like I mean, are you dealing with somebody else? Like,
let me know what's going on? If I'm hit with that,

(01:23:23):
then I'll be like, you know what, Yeah, it's not
working out, Like I mean, I'm just it's just not
working out.

Speaker 4 (01:23:31):
And my thing is when breaking up, like.

Speaker 3 (01:23:35):
I'm not trying to dismantle somebody. We often wonder why
we get crappy people, like it's so much crap out here.
It's because the way we do things when we date
and people or we're going we're in relationships in an end,
why does it have to be so hurtful? Why does

(01:23:56):
it have to be so toxic? Why does it have
to be so bad? Pretty Tasha, you said, yeah, that
happened to me. Cedric, you're saying, just extend some courtesy. Absolutely,
It's just like if it's over, it's over.

Speaker 4 (01:24:13):
Now.

Speaker 3 (01:24:13):
Listen, If they know that you're a person that could
tend to make a scene, then you know they might.

Speaker 4 (01:24:22):
Again, I wouldn't say ghosting somebody only. Ghosting is only
in dangerous situations.

Speaker 3 (01:24:30):
If if they're dangerous and this has gotten toxic and
hostile physically or mentally, then I gotta go.

Speaker 4 (01:24:37):
I can't. I can't.

Speaker 3 (01:24:39):
There's no way for me to safely exit from this situation.
And you know you crazy, you know you crazy? If
you've been putting your hands on.

Speaker 4 (01:24:47):
Somebody, and now you text it and ain't responding.

Speaker 3 (01:24:50):
You know your end got ghosting. You know they run
it from you, as they should. But if it's not
that type of situation, then it's just like, what's wrong
with Like Ceja just said, what's wrong with extending courtesy?
What's wrong with just having a conversation. I would like
to have a conversation. Don't text me, but I would

(01:25:14):
prefer a text message opposed to being ghost.

Speaker 4 (01:25:19):
Why ghost? You know why people ghost because.

Speaker 3 (01:25:23):
They don't close They don't want to close the door,
so they'll come back, because some of them will come
back and make it seem like, well, we never broke up.

Speaker 4 (01:25:33):
We did break up. We broke up the moment you.

Speaker 3 (01:25:36):
Stopped responding, the moment we stopped communicating, the moment you
were incognito.

Speaker 4 (01:25:42):
That was it.

Speaker 3 (01:25:44):
And I'm a good person to process information like that.
Your dog gonna right, Cedria, you said, just treat them
like a cicada. Your dog gonna write or slap that
thing off of my licks, Cedric, another one.

Speaker 4 (01:25:58):
Had got on my leg.

Speaker 3 (01:25:59):
I thought I had got off the live I'm telling
you almost then make it upstairs.

Speaker 4 (01:26:03):
That cicada ish was real. But you gotta just let
them know.

Speaker 3 (01:26:08):
Like some people, they try to listen, they straddle, they
straddle the fence. So you gotta be careful with that
so called ghost it because they'll be gone for a
couple of weeks, a couple of months, then call you
up like nothing never happened, like.

Speaker 4 (01:26:22):
Wait, who what? What are are we really doing this?

Speaker 3 (01:26:27):
So you gotta be mindful for that because people do
that to continuously string you along, and before you know it,
years months turns to day's years. All listen there, you're like,
wait a minute, this, I'm not gonna be a part
of this foolery. So if you've been ghosted, once you

(01:26:51):
realize that that's what it is, let it go. Stop
asking people for closure, give your own self closure, tell
yourself whatever it is you gotta tell yourself in order
to make peace with the situation. But by all means,
do not sit there and keep calling and chasing after

(01:27:13):
a person because they got the message. They're just waiting
for you to get them. When are you gonna get
the message? No response is a message, No reply is
a message. No answering the phone is a message. Because
here's the deal. Here's how to quickly sum up you've

(01:27:37):
been ghosted.

Speaker 4 (01:27:38):
Okay, quick, quick way.

Speaker 3 (01:27:41):
Everybody is mostly everybody is on social media every day,
several times a day. Twenty four hours go by, no response,
forty eight hours go by no response, seventy two hours
listen at twenty four hours.

Speaker 4 (01:28:01):
I'm accepting that it's ghost it's ghosts.

Speaker 3 (01:28:04):
Because nobody goes twenty four hours without checking their phone. Nobody, nobody,
even little kids as soon as they get out of school,
them jokers racing to check they phone and turn they
phone on and let ask the miller nephew, hey, hey, hey, hey,
you got a job? Were you expecting your boss to

(01:28:27):
call you or something? What you running to that phone
like that? Like who you expect? Who you looking for
to call you? So nobody is without their phone, especially
if you know that the person they kept their phone
glued to them like it was a second coat of skin.

(01:28:49):
And now you're texting them and you're trying to get
closure and you're trying to find out baby, that's the
time to let it go and accept you've been ghosted.

Speaker 4 (01:29:00):
Let it go.

Speaker 3 (01:29:01):
Don't question your value, your worth or anything else. It
is what it is now am I saying that that's
gonna be easy. It's not, especially if you cared about
the person, You'll be like, dang, you ain't You ain't
think enough of me to even have a conversation. No,
they didn't listen. I started feeling in the blanks. I

(01:29:22):
started answering the questions myself.

Speaker 4 (01:29:24):
No, he did not. If he did, it wouldn't have
ended like this.

Speaker 3 (01:29:28):
If he had enough respect for me, if he cared
like he said he cared, then it wouldn't have been
So don't go second guessing yourself. Just accept the situation
for what it is, because again, people.

Speaker 4 (01:29:42):
Know what they're doing.

Speaker 3 (01:29:45):
They people know exactly what they're doing, and some people
just are you know, are just set out to just
hurt other people for whatever reason. Cedric gets saying they
toxic and want that attention. So recognize and move on.
You're saying exactly, because I know my worth. You say
you know your worth, and you say you've been there,

(01:30:06):
that's happened to you exactly. They check in at some
point in time, so they know you've been calling and
texting them, absolutely, and they do it to keep a
foot ear. But you have to be strong enough to
say you know what. Listen, I'm done, like I'm not.
I don't need no closure. I don't need you to
close nothing for me because I'm closing it. Wherever you've been,

(01:30:30):
go back over there and be happy, be happy, Go
do you because I'm going to do me. Because that's
going to lead into our topic for tonight. And tonight, guys,
we're talking about responsible dating.

Speaker 4 (01:30:47):
Now here's the deal.

Speaker 3 (01:30:50):
Dating is rough. It is rough, baby. This is so
much fecal matter in this data. I don't care what
financial range and category.

Speaker 4 (01:31:05):
You fall in.

Speaker 3 (01:31:06):
It is so much fecal matters, so much bull junkie
going on. It's just like sometimes you don't know if
you coming or going because of the type of foolery
that is going on with these people. It's just like
you like, wait, what are we really? Are we really
doing this? But you gotta understand that.

Speaker 4 (01:31:32):
Dating. Some people are so reckless when it comes to dating.

Speaker 3 (01:31:40):
That they literally have little to no regards to how
other people are feeling. They have no regards as to
how what they're dating and how they're living and how
they're moving. They don't care how it's affecting the people
that they are are involved with. Like people just like

(01:32:02):
we were talking about moments ago. When you're ghosting somebody,
people don't even care. They don't even care how they
leave you. They don't even care if they leave you
in an emotional wreck. They don't care, they don't care
if they are mentally My thing is this, Why do
we have to dismantle each other mentally, dismantle each other,

(01:32:27):
emotionally dismantle each other just because.

Speaker 4 (01:32:31):
The relationship is over?

Speaker 3 (01:32:33):
So you want to moral combat my heart because you
no longer want to deal with me.

Speaker 4 (01:32:39):
So why you you gotta finish her, finish them? Why
do we have to have that type of attitude with daities?

Speaker 3 (01:32:45):
Like if it didn't work out between us, I want
to wish you well, like I don't want to see
you messed up.

Speaker 4 (01:32:53):
I want to see you happy.

Speaker 3 (01:32:54):
Just because we were not meant to go to Long
Hall doesn't mean that I should do all of this
crazy stuff to mess you up and to put you.

Speaker 4 (01:33:05):
In a bad up, put you in.

Speaker 3 (01:33:07):
A bad headspace. So now you not worthy, you not
fit to be with nobody else. You can't be with
anybody else because now you can't shake off how bad
I've done you. So now you're gonna go. Now you
got your guards up. Now you got these walls up.
So now you can't go and you can't be with

(01:33:29):
the next person because you.

Speaker 4 (01:33:32):
You messing them up.

Speaker 3 (01:33:36):
So if women are messing the men up, and me
and are messing the women up, we're coming to each
other broken. We're coming to each other scared. We're coming
to each other just truly messed up because of what
we're doing to each other. Cedric is saying what type

(01:33:57):
of dating? Because the dating game is different nowadays. We're
gonna get into that, Cedric.

Speaker 4 (01:34:03):
And speaking of dating, let's talk about what dating is. So,
according to an online source.

Speaker 3 (01:34:11):
Dating is a stage of romantic relationships whereby two people
meet socially with the aim of assessing each other's suitability
as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship or marriage.
So basically, we checking each other out, trying to get
to know each other. But here's the thing. If anybody

(01:34:36):
out there like me for a long time before our
started the jaspot, right in the beginning, you all taught
me real quick that dating and being in a relationship, baby,
was two different things. Because I thought that when we dated,
when we went out, I was yobu and you was
my boo.

Speaker 4 (01:34:56):
Baby.

Speaker 3 (01:34:57):
I quickly found out that you all do not, and
I mean do not, operate under those same guidelines. So
trust me, I learned quickly because my thing is this
like dating. I've never liked dating. I've never liked getting
to know new people. In the past, I didn't, but

(01:35:17):
now I'm like, okay, let me come up out of that,
because clearly, you know people are not you know, people
got all of these options, so it's like you would
be crazy. You gotta keep your options open too, until
you know that a person has chosen you. But in
these days, they'll act like they chose you and still listen,

(01:35:39):
they have you in a relation, baby, they have you
in a relationship, and they still out that dating.

Speaker 4 (01:35:44):
You like, wait a minute, so.

Speaker 3 (01:35:47):
You want to put me in a relationship, so I'm
in a relationship with you, but you still out that
dating everybody else. You'd be like, now, come on, honey,
now make that make sense. But baby, they they out
here doing it. That's I'm gonna tell you that's what
they out here doing it. They out here and they dating.
They got you in a relationship and they dating everybody else.

(01:36:09):
But when you talk about that. The difference in dating
is you're seeing multiple people. So we can see multiple people,
and that's because that's what dating is. But the responsible
part comes in that you gotta let that be known
because again, like I just said, don't try to put

(01:36:32):
somebody in a relationship with you but then you're still out.

Speaker 4 (01:36:37):
You're still dating.

Speaker 3 (01:36:38):
So you want them to give you relationship access. You
want them to give you relationship affection and relationship attention
and relationship respect, but.

Speaker 4 (01:36:53):
You're giving them dating. You're giving them dating status.

Speaker 3 (01:37:00):
So you're dating them and you're treating them like you're
dating them, but you expect them to treat you like
they're in a relationship with you.

Speaker 4 (01:37:11):
How does that work? You guys?

Speaker 3 (01:37:13):
People have this thing definitely messed up and it's definitely unfortunate. Now,
Pretty Tasha just said, I was on a dating site
back in December last year. I started talking to this
guy on December twelfth. We video chatted about two times,
then we talked on the phone. Three weeks later, a

(01:37:33):
woman texts me telling me he is engaged. Like, how
in the heck someone spending their time on a dating
site when they are engaged?

Speaker 4 (01:37:42):
Man, Pretty Tasha Listen, be thankful you found.

Speaker 3 (01:37:46):
Out before you flew out somewhere ahead and to come
out somewhere to meet you. Be thankful that you found
out before you fell in love and all this and that.
But again, that just goes back to saying people are
not even responsible now. And guess what she'd I made
an the fiance that I made an excuse for him.
He'd a lied, and they you know, had us swinging

(01:38:08):
off the chandeliers, and now she gonna keep them. She
gonna stay with him because he'd a lied and told
her something that you know she wanted, she made her
self believe. And then she's gonna go on, ma'am, you
caught this man in a full fledged trying to get
a whole nother relationship. Why he's supposed to be engaged
with you. But again, it's so much stuff that we

(01:38:31):
do that we don't. It's like it's not even necessary.
Cutric is saying, no, there ain't no labels on it.
You're right, there are no labels to when you are dating.

Speaker 4 (01:38:42):
But I think that there's.

Speaker 3 (01:38:44):
A way to do it where we can have some
decorum with doing so. And the first thing with being
being open, being upfront, about Listen, this is what it is.
We are dating. We're not in a relationship. Now, let's
talk about what a relationship is. According to an online source,
a relationship is when two people are connected by a

(01:39:09):
mutual commitment to each other.

Speaker 4 (01:39:11):
I am you, is my baby? Is your baby? Is
you is?

Speaker 3 (01:39:16):
Or is that you ate my baby? You ainate my baby.
That's the conversation we gonna have. I'm like, Amy, your baby,
you my baby. You have to have a conversation about that.
Is you and your person have agreed you are with
each other, You me, we together.

Speaker 4 (01:39:36):
You're not married.

Speaker 3 (01:39:37):
So there's no piece of paper where people are saying
I ain't got nine means of paper.

Speaker 4 (01:39:41):
But if I'm trusting in you and holding you.

Speaker 3 (01:39:46):
To your word and you holding me to my word,
I expect us to be able to honor what we
said to each other. Because again, don't put me in
a relationship. But you still want to see a other people,
don't don't take away my right to see other people.
If you still want to see other people, I'm cool

(01:40:06):
with that, Like, don't it is what it is, but
be up front. But we're not gonna do that. Pretty Tasha,
you saying that is true. You are so rightist.

Speaker 4 (01:40:15):
It is good. I found out sooner than later. It
is just crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:40:18):
Yes, But you're exclusively seeing each other when you're in
a relationship. So that's the difference with dating and being
in a relationship. Dating there is no exclusivity, there are
no titles, and there should be no expectations, so to speak.

Speaker 4 (01:40:40):
But it should be respect.

Speaker 3 (01:40:42):
I expect respect, I expect you know, consideration, like we're
not in a relationship.

Speaker 4 (01:40:50):
But Dad, you know you don't have to.

Speaker 3 (01:40:53):
It's just certain things like I don't know, and I
just sit back and I just watch the way people move,
and I want to just see how you move organically,
because when I see how you move, man, I may listen.
If I'm in my feelings, I might stick around. But
once i'm done, I'm done. Like, keep on moving however
you move, and I'm gonna move right out your way

(01:41:14):
and let you do whatever it is that you want
to do. But again, when you're talking about just strictly dating,
it's open you. There are no commitments. We're not committed
to each other. Cedric, you're saying monogamy, yes, So if
you expect me to be monogamous, then you need to

(01:41:35):
be monogamous as well, because if you not trying to
be monogamous, don't try to have me being monogamous.

Speaker 4 (01:41:43):
But here's the thing.

Speaker 3 (01:41:44):
You gotta ask yourself when we're out here today, listen,
people are listen. That's the good thing about today. People
are open to just about anything. You don't have to.

Speaker 4 (01:41:56):
Lie about your relationship status. Baby, You could tell so.

Speaker 3 (01:42:00):
They married that you married, and they gonna ask you
the next question. They gonna ask.

Speaker 4 (01:42:05):
You, are you happy? What does it matter? If I'm married,
It don't matter. I'm his problem. I'm not your problem.
I'm this guy's problem.

Speaker 3 (01:42:16):
So whether I'm happy or not, that should be the
end of the conversation.

Speaker 4 (01:42:22):
But for a lot of people it is not.

Speaker 3 (01:42:25):
So we gotta definitely be mindful of that when we
are dating. Listen, So do you prefer today or do
you prefer to be in a relationship me in today's society.
I don't want to deal with it. I don't like
the whole shebang. So I'm just like you know what
I always tell my son is by new addition.

Speaker 4 (01:42:47):
You get to count me out. You got to count
me out.

Speaker 3 (01:42:52):
You can count me out this ish right now because
it's too much going on, Like.

Speaker 4 (01:42:59):
Where are the people? Where are the people with the
good hearts?

Speaker 3 (01:43:03):
Where are the you know, the semi saying people, because
you know, I think that everybody got a little touch
of crazy in them. But where are the people that
got they crazy under control?

Speaker 4 (01:43:15):
Where are those type of people? You know?

Speaker 3 (01:43:17):
And I think that a lot of that is meant missing.
And we got a lot of people out here that
have been damaged, that have been broken, and they out
here messing people up.

Speaker 4 (01:43:34):
So here, I I urge you, if you have.

Speaker 3 (01:43:38):
Had a slew of bad relationships, bad marriages, and you
know your heart is just cold, you cold hearted, you
like you're not in a good space emotionally or mentally,
please stop dating. Please get out the dating pool and
get some help. Go talk to a professional, because you

(01:44:02):
messing up everybody else.

Speaker 4 (01:44:04):
So now you messing folks up because you got messed up.

Speaker 3 (01:44:09):
And we're gonna keep on keeping this cycle going because
everybody is messed up. You ain't talk to nobody, you
ain't took time to heal, you haven't taken the time
to do any of that. So you say, Jay, what
does it mean to be responsible dating? It means to

(01:44:30):
make sure that when you are going out, like you
getting what you need and they getting what they need,
like you're not you're mindful of the bull junkie, you're
mindful of the games. You're honest, like listen again, responsibly.
Dating is doing just that, we're dating. I'm not committed

(01:44:56):
to you, you're not committed to me, and go and
see whom ever. But if I know I was out
with you on Friday and I see you on Saturday
with somebody else, I'm out with my friends, I don't
have the right to clown because we're not like that,

(01:45:17):
we're dating. So, ladies, if you're in that situation, even fellas,
if you in that situation and you know you're dating,
because here's the thing, Fellas, what I'm noticing that you
all are started trying to do some of you all
liking to do. Now you want to get mad at
her because she's dating.

Speaker 4 (01:45:35):
Isn't that what she's supposed to be doing? So you
mad at her because.

Speaker 3 (01:45:39):
She went out on Friday with you, but now she
with somebody else on Saturday. What is she supposed to do?
Sit and twittle her thumbs until you decide to ask
her out again.

Speaker 4 (01:45:49):
No, if you're dating and she's dating. She's free to.

Speaker 3 (01:45:54):
Go out the next night or whatever with whomever else,
and she shouldn't be late anything outside of she's a
woman dating, just like you're a man dating.

Speaker 4 (01:46:06):
So but we don't have to throw it up in.

Speaker 3 (01:46:08):
Each other's faces, like, oh, well, you know I'm going. Well,
when I drive, I gotta drew urry up and drop
you off because I got another date. All that's not necessary.
All that's not necessary. If you got another date, drop
me off.

Speaker 4 (01:46:22):
Listen. Okay, it was fun, Thank you so much. I'll
see you next time. All right.

Speaker 3 (01:46:26):
Likewise, so now we both happen to end up on
another date with somebody else them guess what our We
on a date with somebody else and we on our way.
You know, but we gotta stop with the games. We
gotta date with our head and not our heart. Stop
going all in and putting your emotions all out there

(01:46:49):
in the situation when you're dating. This And that's why
I don't like dating, because I know myself and I
know I have a hard time separating things.

Speaker 4 (01:46:58):
So you gotta be my for of that.

Speaker 3 (01:47:01):
Accept responsibility, listen, Like, if it's not working out, make
a clean break. Again, you don't owe anybody anything. But
if we were dating, don't just ghost up and just
you know, adult up and say, listen, it is what
it is.

Speaker 4 (01:47:18):
I'm not I'm not feeling this, and let's just go on.

Speaker 3 (01:47:22):
Let by guns be bygones, be upfront about what it
is that you want. If you know that you want
a relationship, don't just sit up there and let people
think that you're gonna be fine with dating long term
because you're not let them know.

Speaker 4 (01:47:39):
What you want.

Speaker 3 (01:47:41):
It's okay if you want a relationship, because you gotta
let them know. It may not be the relationship, may
not be with them, but you have to let them
know that. Listen, I'm looking for a relationship or I'm
looking to potentially get married one day, whatever it is,
you gotta.

Speaker 4 (01:47:56):
Let people know.

Speaker 3 (01:47:57):
But don't sit up there and assume that they're going
to know. And then listen, let's be honest with our
relationship status. Let's not be married, engaged or in a
serious committed relationship and be out here trying to meet
new people. And then you pretending that you're single. That's
not dating responsibly. And then the last thing is just listen,

(01:48:18):
we gotta start treating people how we want to be treated.

Speaker 4 (01:48:22):
Say what you mean and mean what you say. But
let's not be out.

Speaker 3 (01:48:25):
Here mentally and emotionally dismantling each other. We got enough
for that ish in a data pool as of now.
So listen, let's just do better with each other. If
you in, you in, you out, you out, say it
and be done until next time you guys listen, I
want to thank you all so much for tuning in.
Please do me a favor you all. Go to our page.

(01:48:46):
Like our page at the j spot, follow us on
Twitter at jspot. Also follow us on Instagram at the
j spot at jay spelled ja y e for all three.
While you're at it, go right around morning go to YouTube,
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