The Jaye Spot Podcast

Join us at The Jaye Spot as we recap sizzling social media topics and dive into our discussion of "Mixed Signals... Why We Play Mind Games" Tune in for Sean Wyte's hot single, "Easy to Love You," and so much more! Don't miss out—subscribe to our YouTube channel, The Jaye Spot Radio, for all the excitement!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Your hosts Jay and simply e hold on, hold on,
get ready to enter to the J Spot, the jaspot
on Intellectual radio dot com.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Good evening, good evening, good evening, and welcome to the
best night of your life.

Speaker 3 (00:34):
You have entered the J Spot, where we are strengthening
relationships and families, one conversation at a time on Intellectual
radio dot Com. We are at iHeart station. I'm your host, Jay.
You all, thank you all so much for tuning in
and allowing me to go with you as you ride

(00:57):
home on this nice fall all evening afternoon what is
it nightfall evening going into you know that good ish
afternoon ish, almost evening ish that time the ride home,
you know that back to back traffic, the bump of
the bump or traffic, to hurrying on get home, trying
to fix the dinner kind of mood, the hurrying up

(01:19):
and helping.

Speaker 4 (01:20):
The kids with the homework type of mood. Thank you for.

Speaker 3 (01:25):
Allowing me to experience enjoying that and gets you through it,
Because listen here, I may say something that you agree with.
I may something that say something that make you mad.
I may say something that make you want a cuss.
I may say something that's gonna give you a combination
of everything. I may say something that's gonna put something

(01:45):
on your mind, but one thing I do know that
if you stick with me, I'm gonna give you one
of those emotions.

Speaker 4 (01:53):
Now listen.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
I may even say something that puts you to the
point where say, you know what, I'm a blocker.

Speaker 4 (01:59):
Do that, but then come back.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Okay, come back, you come back now here, you come back,
come back, speaking up, come back here? Please, guys, do
me a favorite. Go to our page and like our
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(02:21):
you edit? Go right around the corner boop boop boop.
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Speaker 4 (02:34):
Guys.

Speaker 3 (02:34):
J is ja ye turn on the notification bell for
all platforms. Guys, thank you so much. We have a
great show lined up for you tonight. We're gonna go
ahead and get started.

Speaker 4 (02:45):
Now, listen you all. Let's say, sometimes I wonder.

Speaker 3 (02:52):
As I sit and I scroll through the groups and
now just scroll through this thing that we call social media,
and you know, some of you are this is gonna
be geared towards the Fellas right now, some of you
all Fellas, some of you, not all of you, but

(03:13):
some of you all really scare me. Okay, you really
scare me with the things that you all say because
some of this stuff, I'm just like, Okay, are they
saying this to just troll or is this really how
you feel?

Speaker 4 (03:31):
Now?

Speaker 3 (03:31):
Some of you all, now listen, they I've always been
told that there's always a little bit of truth in
a joke.

Speaker 4 (03:39):
There's always a little bit of truth in some things.

Speaker 3 (03:41):
So when you're constantly saying the same negative things and
my opinion, you mean it. So let's just start here
with this hot topic and you guys, let me know
what you think.

Speaker 4 (03:54):
Because the same listen, it's typically the.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
Same suspects that post the same type of you know,
the same type of things that just makes me go, hmm,
does this does this brother really? Does this brother like women?
Or is this just his way of just you know,
getting his feelings out and just getting it out there.

Speaker 4 (04:15):
And it's like, here's the deal.

Speaker 3 (04:17):
Whoever you like whatever, knock yourself out. So the first
side topic is this, They say, without using religious beliefs,
what is the benefit of marriage for men other than.

Speaker 4 (04:33):
Social security survivor benefits? Y'all heard me? Let me repeat that.

Speaker 3 (04:39):
This man says, without using religious beliefs, what is the
benefit of marriage for other for men other than social
security survivor benefits. So this brother is basically saying, listen,
somebody tell me, tell me now, what is the purpose
of what benefit does a man get for being married

(05:02):
outside of, you know, social security survivor benefits? And I thought,
I didn't think long about it. I just instantly said,
you know what, if you have to ask what do
you get besides.

Speaker 4 (05:24):
Security social security survivor benefits, my response would be nothing.

Speaker 3 (05:30):
And marriage is not for you, Like I just don't
like if you don't if you don't see what the
benefit of having a partner is, if you don't see
the benefit of having a helpmate, if you don't see
the benefit of having a ride or die or confidant,
if you don't see the benefits of that, then you

(05:54):
there's nothing for you. Marriage has absolutely nothing to offer
you if you don't see that. So I would say, sir, nothing, marriage,
It will benefit you nothing.

Speaker 4 (06:07):
Continue to live your single life lives so low. Listen.

Speaker 3 (06:13):
Hopefully if something happens to you and you have a
medical condition, hopefully the dog or your cat or your
side chick will know something so that they can alert
a family member and let them know that you are
in need of help. But nothing, sir, nothing, Just go
and rote alone.

Speaker 4 (06:32):
That's all I can say.

Speaker 3 (06:34):
Like, whomever subscribes to this and this is not a
person that I can respect. A person that says, listen,
marriage ain't for everybody. I don't believe that marriage is
for everybody. Listen, you got a friend in me, you
have somebody that agrees with what you just said. Because
I don't think that marriage is for everybody.

Speaker 4 (06:56):
I really don't.

Speaker 3 (06:57):
If you believe that marriage is for you, then rock
out and make it happen. But if you're a person
that says, you know what, listen, I just don't believe
in the institute of marriage for blah blah blah, whatever reason.

Speaker 4 (07:09):
Fine, but that's not the stance that this post comes from.

Speaker 3 (07:15):
The post comes from like, there's nothing that marriage between
a man and a woman. Because he's saying for men
so he's saying, there's nothing that marriage can give you
outside of benefits survive, you know, social security, survivor benefits.

Speaker 4 (07:33):
Outside of that, he's questioning.

Speaker 3 (07:36):
What benefits are? What benefits do men get? Fellas, let
me know if you want to talk to me, what
do you guys think? What benefits do you all get?
Or do you are you with this guy you're saying, listen, Jay, listen,
you got this one all wrong. Baby girl, you got
this one all wrong. Fam hit this right on the head. Fam,

(07:57):
got it right on the head. There are no benefit
if it's men don't benefit from marriage whatsoever. If you're
one of those people that say that, listen, I want
to hear from you.

Speaker 4 (08:08):
Let me know, fellas, what are your thoughts on this?

Speaker 3 (08:11):
Is this man? Is he speaking facts? And is it
just like Jay, you got this one wrong? M No,
you got this one all wrong. Jay, you got this
one wrong. This man said it right. There are no
benefits in marriage for men, And again I would beg
to differ on that, but I definitely want to hear

(08:31):
what the men have to say about this. If y'all
want to listen. And I know a lot of brothers
that are married. I know a lot of.

Speaker 4 (08:38):
Good dudes that don't feel this way.

Speaker 3 (08:42):
So my thing is, again, when I hear a man,
you know, speak like that, it makes.

Speaker 4 (08:48):
Me think, like, you know, yo, who hurt this brother?

Speaker 3 (08:51):
Like you know, he don't be hurt, hurt like he
scorned hurt speaking like that, Just say, listen, I don't
think that marriage is for me or I don't believe
in the institute of marriage. And I get that, Like
I said, I could totally a thousand percent respect that,
but it's just certain things that some people say. And
it's and I look at the posts and when we're

(09:12):
going through for hot topics and things of that nature,
and it's just the few, it's few of the same
people that post the same type of things. And I'm
just like, Okay, now you can only post this way
for so long. One being maybe you just trolling to
you know, or you trolling you're trying to get attention

(09:33):
to you know, you really feel like this. So for
one point I was like, Okay, they just definitely trolling.
But now I'm just like, yo, do you have have
a woman ever loved you?

Speaker 4 (09:46):
Right?

Speaker 3 (09:46):
I mean like literally like go hug your mom, go
hug your grandmom. Go hug an aunt, Go hug some
woman that you love and let her exude some positive
energy into you, because like you are missing the mark.
And if you walking around here, these are the type

(10:08):
of people that and it's not many of them. I
don't believe that it's many people that feel like this,
But you all are the ones that.

Speaker 4 (10:14):
Are out here spewing all this foolishness.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
And you know you have the Internet and you know
these social media platforms in an uproar because y'all get
to saying this craziness like this, But I want to
know again, maybe I could be missing it, maybe I'm
just off the mark, but is this a legitimate feeling?

Speaker 4 (10:36):
Like fellas we're looking like, man, Jay, there is no benefit.

Speaker 3 (10:41):
For marriage for men, there is not, And I'm like,
if you don't see that, like I don't for me.
I'm just like, if you don't see the benefit of it,
then for me, I think that there is in women
as well. If you say that, what is the benefit
If you have to question the benefit of getting and
far a life partners, finding somebody that's going to be

(11:03):
there with you, think and thin, good and bad, up
and down. If you feel that that's not necessary in
your life. Then I'm I'm in one hundred percent agreements
with you. Agreement with you that, yeah, there is no
benefit for marriage for you that because you don't see it.
So you have to see because how can you desire

(11:26):
something if you don't see the value in it. So
if you don't see the value in marriage, then you
know you're not gonna seek for it. And ladies, I mean,
maybe this may be a question to start, you know,
putting out there like when dating and you know, vetting
these means and going through the sword and process. Maybe

(11:47):
that's something that needs to start being put out there.

Speaker 4 (11:50):
You need to put out there and just kind of.

Speaker 3 (11:51):
See what is their stance on marriage, because again, if
they have a stance like this as far as they
believe that there is no benefit for marriage for them,
then again, unfortunately for me, I would definitely respect their
feelings to feel that way, because you have a right
to feel that way. But now you know his general

(12:14):
stance on marriage, and so if you are a woman
that wants to get married and.

Speaker 4 (12:20):
You've asked him upfront.

Speaker 3 (12:21):
And you guys have had this conversation, he doesn't see
the benefit of marriage, Ladies, you have done yourself a favor.
You have saved yourself the time, you possibly even saved
yourself a body, adding all to your body account.

Speaker 4 (12:35):
Because listen, what's the purpose of going forward?

Speaker 3 (12:38):
When his general thoughts on marriage is it does not
align what you feel you believe in marriage. You want
to get married, not saying that you want to marry him,
But what I'm saying is, I think, especially listen, when
you in the thirty plus plus plus age group, I'm
gonna tell you who need to be asking this question.

(13:00):
When you get up and you like, tig what is this?
Why is this hurting?

Speaker 4 (13:06):
What is this? Where's that? Oh? This hurting? This?

Speaker 3 (13:10):
If if you are in that age range where just
things just like dag I just did this, Oh.

Speaker 4 (13:17):
It's hurt. If you are in that.

Speaker 3 (13:20):
Age range where just strange things just start hurting for
no reason, then you are the person that needs to
ask this question up from forget them thinking that it's you.

Speaker 4 (13:32):
Are you trying to pressure me for marriage? All right? No, no, no, no, no, no,
no sir, father.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
Time is the clock is ticking. Okay, the clock is ticking.
You know you may listen, you may be at that
age that point where you know Listen, Okay, I gotta
get these eggs fertilized. If I'm playing on popping out
some cheering, I got to get these eggs fertilized. You
need to know this up from don't waste up. Don't
let these brothers push and corner you into feeling as

(14:02):
though you are rushing them by bringing up the subject
of marriage. Because again, we can have a general conversation.

Speaker 4 (14:10):
On your thoughts and your views on marriage.

Speaker 3 (14:15):
I'm not saying that let's talk about specifically if you
see you and I getting married.

Speaker 4 (14:21):
That's not what we're doing.

Speaker 3 (14:22):
I want to know what are your views on marriage,
because if you are a dude that feels as though
there's no benefit of marriage for you, thank you for
letting me know that upfront. You because listen, I'm trying
to preserve the last few eggs that I do have,
So thank you for letting me know that upfront. Now
I can know whether I want to continue down this

(14:46):
path with you or do I just want to go
ahead on shuffle this deck and go back out there,
because I'm not going to waste my time when I
know a core thing and something that's dear to me
that I want it's not important to you. Hey, pretty Tasha,
how you doing? Hey Anne, you said I like your aesthetics,

(15:06):
Thank you so much. And so again we have to
make the decision. But ladies, we gotta start having these
conversations up from fellas you as well, if you believe
in marriage, because every day listen, people's views and values and.

Speaker 4 (15:22):
All this other ish, it's changing every day.

Speaker 3 (15:27):
Every day is something new, and it seems like it's
something new that is just brought up to just continuously
pull us apart. So definitely, if you are dealing with
someone and they feel as though there's no benefit for marriage,
and you believe that marriage is something that's important for you,

(15:49):
I would definitely say, you know what, look twice at
the situation before you know continue it, before you put
so much time and effort into it. I would say,
definitely think twice about that, because you don't want to
be in position where you are pursuing, you going through
the motions with someone and only to find out in the.

Speaker 4 (16:09):
Long run what you really want it. They don't believe
in that, And it's okay.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
Again, I'm not knocking anybody that says, listen, I agree
with this.

Speaker 4 (16:19):
I don't believe that mirrors. Okay, I listen, knock yourself out.
Knock yourself out.

Speaker 3 (16:26):
I told you, if you believe it, I believe it,
and I'm fine with it for you. But I'm not
fine with it, and I don't believe in it for me.
But I'm fine with it, and I can respect the
fact that that's how you feel. But yeah, you're gonna
have to get away from me with all that because
you know, listen, y'all.

Speaker 4 (16:43):
All this negative ish, it's contageous.

Speaker 3 (16:46):
Like you, when people say you have to protect your
peace and protect your energy, you are.

Speaker 4 (16:53):
We gotta take that so seriously.

Speaker 3 (16:56):
Like I don't think that we take that as seriously
as we good, but we have to start taking that
a bit more seriously because it's so important and its
imperative that.

Speaker 4 (17:08):
We protect our peace.

Speaker 3 (17:10):
We have to protect our positive energy in our positive
vibes because people can come around you and just as
negative about everything, I mean everything, like there's nothing good
about anything in their opinion. And if you're not careful,

(17:31):
then guess what all that negative ish is going to
start transferring over to you and then before you know it,
you used to be a bright shiper person.

Speaker 4 (17:41):
Oh yeah, life is good. Now you're hanging around these
joy kills, these buzz kills.

Speaker 3 (17:47):
Now you're sitting up here spewing off all this negative
foolishness that these people are spewing off.

Speaker 4 (17:53):
So just be mindful on who you keep company with.

Speaker 3 (17:56):
Now listen, speaking of keeping come, what do you all
think about this? The guy says, let me just put
this out there so we can have a better understanding
on how.

Speaker 4 (18:09):
Most men think. This is what he said, how most
men think.

Speaker 3 (18:13):
No man just invites a woman out to dinner just
to have dinner. He does it because he like you
and he is trying to get with you. So if
you're not interested, do not go. Also, do not ask
him for money or accept gifts from him. When you do,

(18:33):
you are sending the wrong signal. What do you all
think about that? Let me just tell you something. I
ain't gonna lie. I had to get my underwear out
my butt because I'm telling you my I was just like,
oh this son of no, this didn't say that. I
had to just baby let me take them thungs was right,
you know, because my told y'all, my booty is the
cookie monster. Just be walking, just be eating panage. Just

(18:55):
just be ridiculous. You know, y'all, ladies with some if
you've been blessed back that natural, y'all know what I'm
talking about. You you start off as a pair of briefs.
By the time you get home their thumb.

Speaker 4 (19:05):
I'm just like dog, and I know where the rest
of these panties go.

Speaker 3 (19:10):
Y'all know where they win. But that's what this statement
did to me. So he's saying that, No man, ladies.
So he's saying, listen, no man is going to just
invite you out to dinner just for the high dinner.
He says, he's doing this because he's trying to get
with you. And if you ain't trying to pass it out,

(19:30):
then don't go out on the day with him, don't
go to dinner, don't accept no gifts from him, and
don't ask him for jack. That's what this man is saying. So, ladies,
what do you think about that? Fellas?

Speaker 4 (19:42):
Come on now, come on, listen, y'all. Is this true?

Speaker 3 (19:47):
Please, y'all, fellas, come on now, y'all know we be talking.
Y'all know we talk, we be cool. Is this a
fair statement? Is this an accurate statement? Hey, Erica, how
you doing sister friend, is this an accurate statement? He said, Listen,
y'all better stop going out on these on these out
to dinner with these dudes, because he ain't taking you
out to dinner just to take you out to dinner.

(20:09):
He said, he taking you out to dinner because after
dinner he want them thighs up just like this.

Speaker 4 (20:15):
And there he won't. He won't, he won't it just
like this.

Speaker 3 (20:18):
And if you don't plan on putting them like this,
don't go out to dinner with that man. Do not
go out to dinner. If you not playing out a baby,
if you ain't playing on doing that at the end
of the night, don't go out.

Speaker 4 (20:33):
Don't go on this dinner. If you ain't playing on slaving.

Speaker 3 (20:37):
On something outside of your strom, don't go out to
dinner with this man. That's what the man. That's what
the man in the post said. That's what he said.
He said, y'all better stop going out on these dates
with these dudes. Y'all better stop accepting gifts from these
dudes because they saying that, You know what he's saying,
You are sending the wrong signal. If you do that,

(21:00):
you are sending this man the wrong signal because he
asked you out. You all just met each other and
he asked you out on a date, and so you
decided to go out on a date so that you
can get to know this man first date. But according
to what this brother is saying the poster, he's saying,

(21:22):
you are wrong. Do not, and I repeat, do not
go out on this date with this man, because if
you don't see, if you don't see yourself giving it
up at the end of the night, don't go out
with this man because you are leading him on. That's
what the poster of this hot topic is saying. So fellas,

(21:42):
let me know. So you mean to tell me you
up in her DM y'all going back and forth, communicating
back and forth a couple of little days, a couple
of days, and he's like, all right, you know, She's like,
I don't really know, I'm like that, but you know,
I want to get to know him.

Speaker 4 (21:56):
Let me go on out with him. You know, he
invited her out to dinner.

Speaker 3 (21:59):
She doesn't know where she's at because they've never met,
so she's going out to dinner get to know him.

Speaker 4 (22:09):
But this man is saying, if you know that, you
ain't gonna give it up.

Speaker 3 (22:16):
Now here's the deal, sir, With all due respect, I no, no, no,
I'm not gonna go.

Speaker 4 (22:26):
I'm not I'm not going because if you.

Speaker 3 (22:31):
Know, like you're getting to know somebody, so if you've
gotten to the.

Speaker 4 (22:35):
Point and now you know.

Speaker 3 (22:39):
Even with that, I still struggle with, you know, not
going out, because what if he's a good person and
you just like his company, but you don't want to.
I don't have to juice you just to so you
gonna tell me, I gotta juice you just to get
a meal, just to get a meal. So I gotta
be juicing all on you. I gotta let you be

(23:01):
feeling all.

Speaker 4 (23:02):
All my booty and everything just to get a little
funky for laymen, y'all.

Speaker 3 (23:06):
I got to you got to fill all on my
forlaymen y'all, just to get you know, I got to
let you feel on me, just to get a little
fresh servant of some crim brewlay.

Speaker 4 (23:15):
I got to let you feel all on me.

Speaker 5 (23:18):
You know.

Speaker 3 (23:18):
Listen, you trying to make me make some crim brewlay up. Listen,
see she can make that naturally. If you the one
you gotta he ain't gotta do it be doing all that.
But see this brother is saying, yep, if you ain't
feeling him like that, if you don't plan on giving
it up, don't go out with him, don't accept no

(23:39):
gifts from him, don't ask him for anything. And i'm
i'm i'm I'm torn in between with that, because again,
every situation is not about set.

Speaker 4 (23:51):
It shouldn't be and fellas if it is nothing.

Speaker 3 (23:53):
But here's the thing. This, this mixed message, this mixed signal,
we gonna put that both ways. How about that, Let's
put that both ways. We're gonna put that mixed signal
ish both ways because if that's all you going out for,
then you say that, you state that ish with your
chest up front. Now you stop sending mixed messages, You
stop sending mixed signals. If that's all you want is

(24:16):
the hoodie hooty, then you tell her that.

Speaker 4 (24:19):
Now. Now how about that.

Speaker 3 (24:20):
Let's let's switch that isshe around and see how many
of y'all be going out now what So if you
want to think that, oh she just there, you know,
just to get something to eat and all.

Speaker 4 (24:30):
This and that where you go, you tell her, Listen,
that's what we're gonna do. Stop stopping.

Speaker 3 (24:37):
Now we're gonna gosh, y'all like to say, Oh waitmen,
they ain't never like to take accountability. I'm gonna push
this scenario right back to you. So now you can
control the narrative. So, now, if that's what you expect
at the end of the night, at the end of
the date, why don't you say that. Don't post it
in an email, don't post it in a post. Why

(24:58):
don't you start saying that? And see how many nights
you spend at home playing with yourself? Now y'all laughing
at did he needing baby? Or see how many nights
you spend at home needing some baby? Or if you
start telling these women this ish upfront, now you stop
leading with mixed messages, You stop sending mixed signals, because

(25:18):
if that's all you want again, say that ish with
your chest.

Speaker 4 (25:22):
Stop sitting up here making it seem like old.

Speaker 3 (25:25):
If if she don't like me, if she don't like him,
then she need to not go on a day. If
that's all you want is the hoodie cootie, then you
tell her listen up front, just like you expecting her
to tell you upfront.

Speaker 4 (25:39):
You tell her upfront.

Speaker 3 (25:42):
The moment you get in this car and we arrive
at that restaurant. The moment you pick up anything to eat,
I want you tonight.

Speaker 4 (25:51):
At the end of the night, you just like this.
That's all I want.

Speaker 3 (25:54):
I don't want no conversation, just some legs in the air,
just like this at the end of the night.

Speaker 4 (26:00):
Now, won't you go try saying that?

Speaker 3 (26:02):
Let me see how many of you all are going
to say that, and then let me know how it goes.
Let's see how well your dating life goes. You see
y'all like to sit up here. Y'all are complaining and
be complaining in the back in the background. But listen,
when somebody give you a mic and say say that
is with your chest. You ain't gonna say, Jack, You're

(26:22):
gonna sit up here. You're gonna keep going on a date.
Hopefully she'll give you some hope, hoping, and then when
you don't get none, Now you mad?

Speaker 4 (26:31):
Now everybody mad? Hey Peterson, how you doing? Now you're mad?

Speaker 3 (26:35):
So again, say that is with your chest. Stop making
it seem like, Oh, women are just out there. Oh
they just going out there for the free meals, and
they know if you know that you're not gonna give.

Speaker 4 (26:46):
It up, we'll just say, just go ahead on the teller.

Speaker 3 (26:49):
Listen, when you eat this shrimp, when you eat this
lobster tail, just know at the end of the night,
you're gonna be eating on my lobster tail.

Speaker 4 (26:57):
Just say, listen, start mentioning, no those things, and.

Speaker 3 (27:01):
Watch and see how things aren't turn how they turn
out differently for you.

Speaker 4 (27:07):
See, because you ain't gonna have.

Speaker 3 (27:08):
To worry about her eating your little lobster, your red lobster.
You're not gonna have to worry because you're gonna be
home alone. See that's why y'all say stuff like this
in a post and on social media. But you're not
telling those women that. You're not telling them that. You know,
you're not gonna say that because if you say it,

(27:28):
you're gonna be home by yourself.

Speaker 4 (27:30):
You know it just as well as I do.

Speaker 3 (27:33):
So keep on pushing that foolishness if you want to,
and watch and see what happened. Eric is saying, big man,
pretty tau, you're saying, rightis And Eric is saying again,
exactly say this.

Speaker 4 (27:45):
Listen again.

Speaker 3 (27:46):
I'm gonna challenge you guys, sayah right here, saying with
your chest, I won't listen.

Speaker 4 (27:51):
And when you say it. I want all of the volume.
I'm gonna make.

Speaker 3 (27:55):
Sure I done clean my ears real because I want
to hear every I want you to announce, yet every syllable.

Speaker 4 (28:03):
Of that statement. I want you to look.

Speaker 3 (28:05):
I want you to say it like, say it like
you mean it, Say it like you ain't scared say it.

Speaker 4 (28:11):
I dare y'all.

Speaker 3 (28:12):
Because you know why we put this foolishness up here,
just so that we can get it off our chest.
Y'all can say this little stuff, but you're scared to
say it in real lifetop I said, you know, listen,
and this is not all of the brothers. This is
just the brothers that post this little stuff because you
out here. Why are you worried about how many dates
she going out on? Like if she if you ain't

(28:35):
cuffed up and made her yours? Why you worried about
she going on a date tonight on Friday?

Speaker 4 (28:42):
She going out with me? She probably up here laid
up with this ninja on Saturday. Why are you worried
about that? Why?

Speaker 3 (28:51):
Cause you because you bought a shrimp Because you bought
a shrimp boy or something, that's what you're mad about.
You mad because you brought listen. Stop listen, you stopped dating.
Stop telling the ladies what they should and should not do.
You take control of whatever dating situation that you're in.
You take control of that situation on your own. So again,

(29:13):
if you don't like how your dating experiences, then you
change it. You start speaking up for yourself. You let
these people know. Listen now, at the end of the night,
you gonna owe me something or listen. I'm gonna tell
y'all listen. See, y'all just had a good idea. I'm
gonna tell you listen.

Speaker 4 (29:33):
Who was it?

Speaker 3 (29:34):
Knives and genuine They saved y'all. They made a song
called you Owe Me shine a say much your price
am Just to back it up.

Speaker 4 (29:45):
You can roll my eyes now, I say you owe
me something and owe me back like you owe them taxes.
He told them up front.

Speaker 3 (29:54):
See, I can't respect that. I ain't paying you, jack,
but I can respect that, he said. If I let
you roll wear my ice or whatever he was saying.
You gonna listen, you gonna owe me a little some something.
All this stuff.

Speaker 4 (30:09):
I'm doing for you, I'm gonna let you know.

Speaker 3 (30:12):
You gonna owe me something at the end of the night.
You know what you're gonna be doing. You know what's
gonna be happening at the end end of the night.
That's what we're gonna be doing at the end of
the night. And if you ain't down with that, don't
be over here accepting no gifts.

Speaker 4 (30:30):
Don't be over here trying.

Speaker 3 (30:31):
To get took out, winding died and listen, winding down
especially now. Look, don't be expecting to get flew out
now that, ladies, Now I will say, okay, I'm gonna
be on the fella's in with this one. I hate
to say it, but don't get flew out. Just keep
the keep the dates and the dinners, keep all that

(30:53):
ish locally, and then we're fine. But the moment you
get to getting flud out, they gonna be wanting to
push you over the bounds. So they gonna be want
to binge you over the balcony and all this other stuff.
So if you not trying to get bent over the balcony, listen,
don't be don't be taking these, get these getting flood out.

Speaker 4 (31:14):
You know, that's a trick from the pit right there.

Speaker 3 (31:17):
So I'm not really a big fan of being flood
out because that being flewed out is some foolishness. So
I'm just gonna tell you all that. So just be
careful with getting fluid out. Just it's too much stuff
going on, so you definitely have to be mindful and listen.
I would be afraid to be fluid out somewhere because

(31:41):
look at how some of these gods think. So you
don't know who you are getting in, who you're meeting,
because look at some of this stuff.

Speaker 4 (31:52):
Look at what they what some of these people think.

Speaker 3 (31:54):
So you gotta be careful with he got fla he
gonna flu me out to Miami. He gonna flood me
out to Vegas. Baby, hold fast on them flood outs.
That's all I would say. Hold fast on it?

Speaker 4 (32:07):
Should you?

Speaker 3 (32:08):
And are you obligated to dodo horizontal mambo? If you're
getting flood out? I don't think you are. However, it's
it's I would say, it's a great chance that that's
the expectation. I would say that we would be. I
would be remiss if I was to sit here and say,
you know.

Speaker 4 (32:27):
What, No, he he ain't got he ain't got a
he got a arm. You don't owe him anything.

Speaker 3 (32:33):
I will say this, You don't owe anybody anything However,
I would say that it is premature and childish not
to think that he's trying to bend you over somewhere.

Speaker 4 (32:47):
That's all I'm gonna say. It's gonna be listened. I
love y'all, y'all know we family were here.

Speaker 3 (32:52):
But I would think that it's definitely premature, it immature
to think that if this man flew fluos you out,
that he wasn't trying to.

Speaker 4 (33:06):
Like this. That's just that's just me.

Speaker 3 (33:08):
So as soon as he booked that ticket or telling
you he sent you there, our itenerary.

Speaker 4 (33:14):
You got some decisions to make.

Speaker 3 (33:16):
You got some decisions like now, yeah I just done
met this man, and yeah he note paid to flud
me out and all this other foolishness.

Speaker 4 (33:25):
So what am I gonna do when I get down there?
Am I? You know? Am I willing to be a
participant as far as getting bent over this balcony?

Speaker 3 (33:35):
What do So that's a conversation that you have to
have with yourself before going down there. And if that's
not what you're trying to be on then I would
always say this, let.

Speaker 4 (33:46):
Him come to you. Let the dude come to you.

Speaker 3 (33:49):
So therefore you don't feel you don't have to feel
pressured into doing something that you don't want to do,
because here's the thing. It should never be any pressure.
But the way that they these people are moving today,
we gotta be honest that they are putting a lot
of pressure on you. If you're going out there or
you're going on a vacation somewhere and they're paying, it's

(34:11):
a lot of pressure for you to.

Speaker 4 (34:13):
Go ahead and with them. And you you know, man, you.

Speaker 3 (34:19):
This is your first time meeting them. But since they
done flued you out, they got big expectations. And if
and I'm not saying that you have to meet that expectation.
I'm not saying that you have to do that. What
I am saying that you have to think about that
and that has to be at the front of the
forefront of your mind. That's what he's expecting since he

(34:39):
gonna flo you out, and he's gonna almost I'm gonna
say a ninety five Nope, ninety eight point nine percent
of the time.

Speaker 4 (34:50):
If they flewing you out.

Speaker 3 (34:52):
Yeah, I know that's not a word you are, know,
but if they flewing you out, please expect that.

Speaker 4 (34:59):
That's the that's what they're that's what they're gonna want.

Speaker 3 (35:01):
And that's when I say that the dynamics of the
conversation changes, because again you are at his mercy because
you've been flew out somewhere and you're not in your
comfort zone. So my thing is, if you're not planning
on jumping down like that, And again again I'm gonna
say it again, I don't believe that you are obligated

(35:23):
to jump down like that because he flewed you out
or whatever.

Speaker 4 (35:27):
I don't believe that. What I do believe.

Speaker 3 (35:31):
Is that you, as a woman, you have to have
an honest conversation with yourself and say, you know what.

Speaker 4 (35:38):
He done, flewed me out.

Speaker 3 (35:40):
He gonna be expecting me to bust a wide open,
he gonna be expecting something strange for some change. He
gonna be expecting that plane ticket there and back, you know,
and then also getting back. Now you're at the mercy
of him getting you back. So again, if he's flewing
you out, I would be be very mindful on taking

(36:01):
those fluid outs. So again, if he's wanting to see you,
and if he's willing to fly you out, then why
can't you fly? Why can't he fly in? Why can't
you fly in to see me. So therefore, now that
to me, him flying in that kills the expectation on
the woman, Like, okay, man, you know, so now he's

(36:23):
flu here, So now you can, you know, take this
thing at your steady's pace. You could take it and
pace it out how you want to. But if you
fly out to meet him, then you're at his mercy
because the many he find out.

Speaker 4 (36:38):
Listen, he fly to you and you guys go out and.

Speaker 3 (36:41):
Y'all have a good time, and you like, okay, yo, homie,
what you thought like we just met in person, you
think that, No, I'm not doing it because I don't
want to. I want to get I thought we were
going to get to know each other. Guess what, However,
he responds to your nun's on him. So if he decides, man,

(37:03):
bought this out and came all the way out here
and I ain't getting none, then caryo nasty kyo stinking back. Listen,
I'll drop you off at the dog On airport because
what you not for the do is sit up here
and pressure me and pressures down here.

Speaker 4 (37:18):
Okay, you're not gonna do us like that.

Speaker 3 (37:21):
You're not gonna sit here, come to my city and
then get mahu ha You got mahu haa upset, you know,
coming up here demanding some stuff like you don't work,
like you own this.

Speaker 4 (37:34):
You listen, you don't know my girl like that?

Speaker 3 (37:37):
Like what you man, I'd be like, listen, girl, he's
sitting up here acting like he know what's up.

Speaker 4 (37:44):
If listen, somebody better tell this cloud what's going on.
Tell them we don't even rock like that.

Speaker 3 (37:50):
He's sit up here, Thickey, because he bought a little
Southwest fifty nine dollars around trip ticket that he get
access to the enshanted castle. Baby bye. See that's what
I'll be telling him. But you could say that because
you own your own turf, you at your own place,
like you in your own surroundings, in your comfort zone.

Speaker 4 (38:09):
And guess what if he like it, he like it.

Speaker 3 (38:11):
If he don't, there's the door he can bounce at
any time.

Speaker 4 (38:14):
But what you don't want to do is put yourself.

Speaker 3 (38:17):
In position where you are at the mercy of someone
else and you gotta Now you feel obligated to do
something that you really wasn't prepared to do because now
they've put you in an uncomfortable situation. Erica, you're saying
your bonds would be beaten. Baby, Listen, beating ain't even

(38:40):
a word, pretty Tasha. You're saying, right, this is gonna
tell me meet him halfway, and I'm not doing that.
He can get lost, absolutely, pretty Tasha. He gotta come
to you. Listen, y'all gotta get we gotta get in
the habit of making them come to us. If you
want to come, then come on over here to these
parts again. Therefore, you can stay in your comfort zone

(39:03):
and you don't have to worry about dealing with any
unnecessary you know, stress and pressure, because if that's what
he's gonna be on, then let him be on that.

Speaker 4 (39:13):
But at least you are in your comfort.

Speaker 3 (39:15):
Zone and you can leave and do whatever feels right
for you. Erica, you're saying, make sure it's round trip ticket.
That's true, Erica. But you know what these listen, these
people have been getting on their baby and they have.

Speaker 4 (39:28):
Been counseling these tickets out.

Speaker 3 (39:30):
They don't care if they get a conselation fee or anything.
These guys have been counseling these tickets out because these
young ladies are getting down there and they're like, okay,
well I ain't not you wanting out, I ain't not
you wanted to do the horizontal mumbo. Well, come on
now we got we're gonna stop that. That's why we're
talking about this tonight. Let's just assume if he's flowing

(39:54):
you out, he won't it. Okay, if he's flwing you out,
he wants it, and you have to make the decision
before you accept the trip. Is this what I'm going
down here to do? I mean, because here's the thing.

Speaker 4 (40:08):
You wrong.

Speaker 3 (40:09):
So if you're like, okay, he going down there and
he want me to arm, he won't to bend me
over this balcony, and I'm going to get bent over
the balcony.

Speaker 4 (40:20):
Knock yourself out, no harm, no fault.

Speaker 3 (40:23):
This conversation ain't for you because you know what, you
know what your goal is. You know that your goal
is to go down there and get bent over the balcony.
And that's why, no judgment. But at least you've made
that decision. This conversation is for the women that will
you know kind of we kind of you know, have
the rose colored glasses, am like, oh he got I'm

(40:45):
gonna go down here, he gonna flew me out, and
I'm gonna go down there and we're gonna have dinner
and we're gonna have a nice romantic weekend.

Speaker 4 (40:54):
Snap out of it. That's not that's not.

Speaker 3 (40:56):
That may be your plan, but his plan is to
feed you and have your legs over your shoulders by
the end of the night.

Speaker 4 (41:03):
That's what his plan is. If you flew you out,
that's what you're doing, okay, And if you don't plan
on doing that, don't get flowed out. Don't let them.
Don't let him flew you out.

Speaker 3 (41:16):
If you're not putting your legs up, and if you're not,
if you're not gonna be having your.

Speaker 4 (41:20):
Legs and feel gold position, don't let him flew you out.

Speaker 3 (41:24):
Just just stay at home or again let him come
to you.

Speaker 4 (41:30):
But do not accept those trips because again.

Speaker 3 (41:34):
Unless you make that decision and say, you know what, listen,
I'm I'm listen. If you you better bend me over
the balcony, forget the dog on dinner, ben me over.

Speaker 4 (41:44):
This balcony, listen, then we're grown. You can do. That's
your choice and that's your decision to make.

Speaker 3 (41:50):
But for those that like to go and get flood
out and then you shell shocked after you not sat
there and you've eaten that ex defensive lobster and them
crabbed legs and all in this other stuff. And then
you don't you done slurp throw them scallops and those muscles,
and now you're eating all those aphrodisiacs. And you know,

(42:11):
he fitting baby, he watching you slow. He like, oh, yeah,
she not ate two hundred dollars worth of seafood.

Speaker 4 (42:17):
Yes, he's over there. Listen.

Speaker 3 (42:20):
He over there thanking the ancestors and thinking the heavens above.
He's like, yeah, she taking in all these sexual aphrodisiacs.

Speaker 4 (42:29):
I know there is a grod somewhere, and I know
God is gonna give me up. Listen.

Speaker 3 (42:37):
So this that's where he at. So now at the
end of the night, he ready y'all leave. You're like, okay,
well i'll see you tomorrow. He like what uh, oh, oh,
you're gonna do. What you gonna see me? What you
gonna see me?

Speaker 4 (42:53):
But look at look look at it. Come in, come in,
let's take him.

Speaker 3 (42:59):
You ain't gonna see me the mole after you done
slurp down two hundred and fifty dollars worth the seafood.

Speaker 4 (43:07):
You don't drunk two hundred dollars, champagne and wine and liquor.

Speaker 3 (43:13):
And you fixing your mouth, You fixing your mouth to
tell me you gonna see me to my no, no, no, no,
every girl you got you got me a fed up Okay,
you gonna see me tonight.

Speaker 4 (43:30):
In room three oh five right here.

Speaker 3 (43:34):
You see that hotel right there, that's what we're going.
That's that's that's where you gonna see me at. Come on,
so give me a handbep, gral, let's go, go go.
And now you sitting here looking shocked, you're appalled, but
see you wasn't shocked in a pall when you were
sitting up there eating on that seafood after he done
flew you out. So now you're telling him that you're
not going. So now he starts acting crazy. Now you

(43:58):
stuck out there in his seat.

Speaker 4 (44:01):
He booked a ticket for you. He booked a round
trip ticket.

Speaker 3 (44:04):
But guess what, he booked it with his credit card
and everything on his stuff. So like I guess, if
he puts it in your name, then you should be fine.

Speaker 4 (44:13):
I guess you.

Speaker 3 (44:14):
I don't think he can counsel it like that, So
that may be a way where you're clear. If the
you know what, the ticket is in your name and
you've already confirmed everything, but where you're gonna stay for
the night. What if you haven't had you know, you
haven't booked your own room, and you don't know where
you are. Just be careful getting fluid out pretty tush
you're saying, that is good advice. That way we can

(44:36):
go back, We can go right back. Absolutely again. We
just want to put it out there where when you're
dating and you going through these situations, just definitely put
yourself in position to be safe because people, you know,
feel all sorts of ways about you know, this whole
dating ish and just going out of people.

Speaker 4 (44:59):
How you just don't know, oh what people thoughts are.

Speaker 3 (45:02):
So it's just like take time to get to know
a person, especially before getting you know, flood out and
all this other foolishness.

Speaker 4 (45:11):
You just want.

Speaker 3 (45:12):
To be very very mindful of that.

Speaker 4 (45:17):
Now listen.

Speaker 3 (45:18):
Speaking of being mindful, listen, be mindful of who you date.

Speaker 4 (45:25):
Now.

Speaker 3 (45:25):
We talked about this from a sexual aspect, but now
let's talk about it.

Speaker 4 (45:31):
From women with kids aspect.

Speaker 3 (45:34):
So you gotta be very careful with the type of
people that you're bringing around your kids. If you don't
have kids. Listen, you still want to be careful. If
your dog, if choot Chuo is typically friendly with everybody,

(45:55):
and shoot Choo is a little teacup dog. But then
the dude that you date or you starting to get
to know and he comes over to your house and
then choo Choo stars acting like a rod weller or
a pit and choo Choo doesn't typically do that. It
might be something wrong with that person. Chut Choo is

(46:16):
picking up on some ish that you know. Chut chu
is trying to tell you something about the person that
you are potentially dealing with. So you gotta be very,
very mindful of what you have going on. Because again, listen,

(46:37):
cheet Choo might be mindful. But guys, listen, we're gonna
take a short musical break and when we return, we
have more hot topics to get into.

Speaker 4 (46:46):
Stay tuned, you don't want to miss it.

Speaker 3 (46:49):
You're listening to the j spot where we are strengthening
relationships and families one conversation at a time.

Speaker 5 (47:01):
Oh you brom.

Speaker 6 (47:05):
Me, they'll say't o Reagan, it's that winger.

Speaker 5 (47:14):
Just sleep beam aside. Your feature.

Speaker 3 (47:20):
Is that any being a bone?

Speaker 5 (47:22):
I only hit a patient deal the shadows of me.

Speaker 7 (47:39):
Oh no, no, I never had an entry set until
I'm not.

Speaker 8 (47:46):
And I don't know it's just a phase I'll go through,
but I feel that is true.

Speaker 5 (47:56):
You don't need no label. What God is something different.
We don't need no labor's made, lady. We don't need
no lame.

Speaker 3 (48:12):
To show.

Speaker 5 (48:14):
Then we'll be having something spect shapeful to shell for sure.

Speaker 4 (48:23):
I don't feel it's someone nice.

Speaker 7 (48:25):
Stand if they love you, hear your heart loving pards
on life. Yes, that sweave you off your feet, have
you everything you need, that's a little things that don't
be on the.

Speaker 4 (48:44):
Phone because we want to be alone. And I never
thought I'm feel this wave and you came along and.

Speaker 8 (48:53):
Whom No, I never had a ntry faunjel, I'm lomage
And I don't know if it's really, if it's really
isn't just a phase, but I feel that it's true.

Speaker 4 (49:11):
We don't need no label.

Speaker 6 (49:14):
Well we got is something different. We don't need no labels, lady.
We don't need no laby to show that way we
have is something special.

Speaker 8 (49:35):
Show since she came in my life, fussy so clear
and now here.

Speaker 5 (49:46):
Here some special, No need.

Speaker 3 (49:53):
Okay, no, I'm not because okay, so I need to
do Let me do another song so I can figure out. Guys,
I gotta take another song, so give me one second
so I can figure out why my connection is bad.

Speaker 4 (50:11):
Thank you. I don't know what you do. What you
do it right?

Speaker 9 (50:23):
Yo, you make it look so easy everywhere you go
here s turn and living right. You can say you
with daniel A twenty piece.

Speaker 5 (50:36):
Because girl, your the reason now me hanging funny.

Speaker 4 (50:42):
Everything you mean.

Speaker 9 (50:43):
Telling me, don't let you get away, and all the
guys's looking.

Speaker 4 (50:49):
Like they want to love.

Speaker 6 (50:52):
Every damn your body ain't got nothing over mind everybody
why you gotta eat so good?

Speaker 5 (51:03):
Nails when if they grown? Why you got soa with
your head up, nail down?

Speaker 4 (51:14):
Why but they grown don't.

Speaker 5 (51:16):
Know why you gotta eat so good?

Speaker 4 (51:18):
I can look and see you not an average chick.

Speaker 9 (51:23):
You shouldn't have done everywhere you go, girl, I want
you as bad as I want on a chick.

Speaker 5 (51:33):
Coach you sais from her to the girl, the reason,
not me any funny everything you need to be telling
me all that you get away, and all the guys
looking like they want to love you. Everybody and your
body know not over my eadbody? Why you got out

(51:57):
of so Why you go so.

Speaker 4 (52:03):
Now when you put your grown when you're hanging up
straight out of bed girl?

Speaker 5 (52:21):
Why you gotta look so good when you add the
job esting in the mareker? Why you gotta look so good?
And the clo turning up? Why you gotta look so
good on the last given?

Speaker 4 (52:38):
Why you gotta look so good? Why you gotta eat
so good? Singer?

Speaker 5 (52:43):
You know you be calling you when you be getting
your warm one, but your head time when you.

Speaker 3 (53:22):
Welcome back to the J Spot, where we are strengthening
relationships and families, one conversation at a time. Guys, I
want to thank you all so much for tuning in.
Please do me a favorite you all. Go to our
page and like our page at the J Spot. Follow
us on Twitter at jspot. Also follow us on Instagram

(53:44):
at the J spot and Jay is spelled j A
y for all three?

Speaker 4 (53:51):
Why you at it?

Speaker 3 (53:52):
Go right around the corner booooo like and subscribe to
our channel on YouTube that's the J Spot Radio.

Speaker 4 (54:00):
Also go to TikTok like and follow us there the
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turn on the notification bells. For all platforms.

Speaker 5 (54:13):
Boo boo boo.

Speaker 4 (54:14):
Guys, thank you so much for tuning in. Listen.

Speaker 3 (54:19):
We have a few glitches, you know, so I got
kicked out of Facebook and the other one.

Speaker 4 (54:25):
So guys, join me over here.

Speaker 3 (54:26):
I'm gonna copy the link so that you can just
join us over here live on YouTube. And that's a
good thing because I need y'all over here. Come on
over here, jump on the good side over here to
YouTube and like and subscribe to our channel and you
can join in live right now with us. Are the
conversation is live right now, guys. But listen, we were

(54:48):
talking about being mindful of the type of people that
we bring around our kids. So we gotta be mindful
on one who we're dating, who we're bringing around our kids.

Speaker 4 (55:04):
Because listen, this next hot topic.

Speaker 3 (55:07):
The guy, he says that when dating a woman with kids,
he says that, listen, I'm dating you, I'm not dating
your kids. So it's not my job to get along
with your kids. It's your kids job to get along

(55:28):
with me. It's your kids job to try to impress me.
It's your kid's job to you know, impress upon me.
Because I'm the one that will potentially come in and
take care of you all if I decide to.

Speaker 4 (55:47):
So he's saying that, listen, I can be with you
and not deal with your kids. I don't have to
deal with you.

Speaker 3 (55:56):
And I say this, it's like when you are dealing
with people with kids. Listen, sir, I understand, I'm gonna
say this. You might have meant well. Okay, you might
just have meant well. You might have meant well, but.

Speaker 4 (56:19):
I don't know, sir.

Speaker 3 (56:20):
That was just not This is not a good look.
That was a bold statement to make. And here's the thing.

Speaker 4 (56:29):
There were some guys jumping on watch. Watch these women
watch they get all up in their feelings.

Speaker 3 (56:35):
Well, it's really nothing to get in my opinion, it's
really nothing to get in your feelings about. It's really
not a in your feelings type of situation. But what
I will say is, sir, you got it kind of wrong.
You got a few things. You got a few things wrong,
the first thing being, yeah, if you are dating someone

(56:58):
man or woman that have kids, they are a package.
You cannot take one without the others. So you can't
possibly think that you can date this woman or this
man that has kids and you don't have to accept

(57:20):
their kids.

Speaker 4 (57:21):
I'm not sure where where where we doing that at,
but it's how do you do that?

Speaker 3 (57:28):
I don't understand how do we date someone that has kids,
especially if they're small kids. If they're grown then and
they're out of the house, then that's a totally different conversation.

Speaker 4 (57:41):
But for the people that are still at home.

Speaker 3 (57:44):
You dating someone and they have kids and they're still
at home, you no, you don't get to say that, like,
that's not that's not how this goes like.

Speaker 4 (57:56):
It just doesn't.

Speaker 3 (57:57):
It don't work like that. You're dating someone that has
kids and they're still in the house. Guess what, They're
still in the house and they're still.

Speaker 4 (58:08):
At home with the parent.

Speaker 3 (58:09):
So they are a package deal, whether you want to
accept that or not. If you're a person that says,
you know what, I'm not going to accept that, I
don't have to accept that, then you, sir or ma'am,
you're not the person that needs you. You don't need
to be dating someone that has kids, because that is

(58:32):
absolutely the order of things. The order is, if this
person has kids, they're a package deal. The only person,
in my opinion, that they're not a package deal for.

Speaker 4 (58:44):
Is and I know it sounds crazy.

Speaker 3 (58:47):
I know it may sound crazy, but it's for the
biological parent. Like, Okay, we had this kids, Listen, we
gave this situation a run.

Speaker 4 (58:56):
It didn't work out. Now we got, you know, a
gift that we were blessed with this kid or these kids.
But now, you know what, our relationship, our.

Speaker 3 (59:06):
Situation did not work out. So now we get to
go and say, you know what, no, let's we deserve.
We gotta find somebody else that you know, we could
potentially match with.

Speaker 4 (59:21):
But the person that we had kids with, you know,
they're not. We're not a package deal for.

Speaker 3 (59:28):
That person because we both have agreed to move on.
But and moving on, then we come to the table
with a little partner. We come or we come with
a couple of little broke best friends, depending on how
many kids you got, you know, you come with some
broke best friends. So they are a package deal for

(59:52):
the new person. But that's just if you see yourself
going long term. But my thing is this, if you
a person that says, you know what, listen, Jay, I'm
my own at Like I can't see myself loving or
taking care of another man's child.

Speaker 4 (01:00:11):
I can respect that Like this is not.

Speaker 3 (01:00:14):
This is not the situation for you, and you have
every right to say, you know what, this ain't for
me and get out like run like there's no thinking
twice about it. But if you expect to be in
this situation and then you say, you know what, listen

(01:00:36):
she I don't you know, she has to you know,
deal with me, and I can. I can deal with her,
but I'm gonna separate the two. I can only deal
with her, but I don't have to deal with her kids.

Speaker 4 (01:00:51):
Yeah, I don't. I'm really not sure how that's gonna work.

Speaker 3 (01:00:56):
The only way that that can work is if you
all are just you know, you know, you just getting
together doing the horizontal mumbo. That's the only way that
that is going to work as far as you not
having to be responsible for this woman and her kids.

(01:01:16):
If you all are just you know, y'all just got
benefits going on, y'all friends with benefits, then that's fine.
You can separate the woman from her kids, because if
you having friends with benefits, then you should never be
around a woman's child anyway. If you guys are just
friends with benefits, you should never be around her kids anyway.

(01:01:37):
So I'm like I'm not sure why we would even
This wouldn't even be a conversation to be had or
to be entertained.

Speaker 4 (01:01:44):
If you are just a friend with benefit.

Speaker 3 (01:01:48):
So we definitely have to be mindful of that, but
don't we gotta listen, ladies, especially ladies, if we got
these kids at home, we gotta listen to what these
dudes are saying. We gotta listen, and we gotta listen

(01:02:08):
with our good ears, with both of our ears.

Speaker 4 (01:02:12):
You gotta listen because.

Speaker 3 (01:02:14):
You don't want to put your situation, your kids in
a situation that put yourself in a situation where you
get hurt or your kids get hurt because you dealing
with somebody that didn't want to deal with what you
brought to the table. Yes, if you have kids, you
are a package deal for these dudes, like and if
he doesn't want that, by all means he has every

(01:02:37):
right to not want that, he has every right to
not want it. So we can't put them in position
where we're like, Okay, you gotta accept it, because they don't.

Speaker 4 (01:02:52):
They don't.

Speaker 3 (01:02:52):
So if they feel as though, you know what, listen,
this ain't for me right here, this ain't for me.
We gotta respect that it ain't it ain't for them,
and we just gotta keep it moving.

Speaker 4 (01:03:07):
You gotta keep it moving, and you just gotta do
what you have to do for you and your kids.

Speaker 3 (01:03:14):
But don't get an these situations with these people and
they're like, you know, they're telling you already.

Speaker 4 (01:03:20):
You know, no, I ain't, I ain't.

Speaker 3 (01:03:24):
I ain't with that, like I'm not here to make
your kids like me. I'm not here, you know, for
your kids to like me. I'm not here to like
your kids.

Speaker 4 (01:03:32):
I'm here for you. And if you can't deal with that,
then we don't need to go any further. Well, then
guess what.

Speaker 3 (01:03:39):
We don't need to go any further because this is
this is my situation. And for people that say, oh,
this is everybody situation, it's too much.

Speaker 4 (01:03:49):
Okay, listen, sir, before you go get in your blood
pressure all up high. You don't. You don't have to
be over here.

Speaker 3 (01:03:57):
You gotta go and find what is for you and
what the woman that makes you happy. You gotta go
find a woman that does not have any kids. You
gotta go find that. You gotta go find what is going.

Speaker 4 (01:04:10):
To work for you.

Speaker 3 (01:04:11):
Because again, if you're not happy, if you don't want
to be with this woman, and in this situation.

Speaker 4 (01:04:19):
You got every right to not want that. You got
every right to not want that. But you can't get
in the situation.

Speaker 3 (01:04:27):
You know, the chick got kids and you don't want
the kids, you don't want to be around the kids.
Then you got that every right, but don't get in
a situation where the woman has kids and you don't
want to be a part of that situation. Because here's
the deal, she got the kids.

Speaker 4 (01:04:47):
Just don't go over there. You have the right to
not get with the kids.

Speaker 3 (01:04:52):
You got the right to not want to get with them,
and the one with the kids, just don't go over there.
You can't go and get in this situation with somebody
that got kids and then complain about the fact that
she got kids. That doesn't make sense. That does not
make sense. So you gotta choose your battle.

Speaker 4 (01:05:11):
So again, if.

Speaker 3 (01:05:12):
She's not the chick for you, then she not the
chick for you because she got kids, and you okay
for you, okay to feel like that, that is your paragative.
Just don't get over there with these chicks. And then

(01:05:33):
now you wanna talk crazy. You knew she got kids.
If a woman with kids.

Speaker 4 (01:05:40):
Is not your desire, then listen, you gotta go find
somebody that's not.

Speaker 3 (01:05:45):
Now, speaking of women with kids, this guy, he posts,
he says he prefers to date women with kids. I
say that again. He says he prefers to date women
with kids for two reasons.

Speaker 4 (01:05:59):
He says. The first reason that he prefers.

Speaker 3 (01:06:01):
To date women with kids is he says that because
that way he knows for sure she is a biological woman.

Speaker 4 (01:06:10):
That's the first reason why he said it.

Speaker 3 (01:06:12):
Not me, he said, Listen, yo, I prefer dating single
moms because therefore I know that this is a real
biological woman that I am dating. Look, I'm not gonna
get into it with all this other stuff. How y'all feel, biologue,
I'm not getting into that. I'm telling you what this
man said. And so then the next thing he said

(01:06:33):
was also he said that single mothers often have their
ish together. He says that they know how to build,
they know how to stretch, they know how to maneuver things.
They are often you know, they often have their business together,
and they're often good leaders because they have other people

(01:06:56):
to depend on them, So they have to have their
self together. You know, they have to be able to
maneuver and do all these different things because they got
people that they gotta look out for. He's like, so listen,
when you dating a single mom, you gonna get a
woman that listen. She is about her biznits, she's about it.

(01:07:20):
She is about it. And he says, listen, that's my preference.
I prefer to date single mom. So when I hear
stuff like that, again, I'm not mad or I'm not.
It doesn't make me like, oh, this dude is the dude.
He is thebomb dot com because he say he dates
single moms and all this and that.

Speaker 4 (01:07:42):
For me, I'm like, it does like it's I'm in
the middle.

Speaker 3 (01:07:47):
Like it's either he's the best type of dude out
there or he's the worst type of dude. Like I'm
in the middle because I believe that people have free choice.
So you have the choice, and you have the right
to date whoever makes you happy with whatever situation. So

(01:08:10):
you gotta put yourself in a situation that something that's
gonna be comfortable for you. You gotta see yourself being
able to ride this thing through. You have to do
it for you based upon what feels good and what
feels right for you, not what works for everybody else.
So again, if you a man that say, you know what, listen,

(01:08:31):
I don't believe in the package deal type thing when
it comes to women having kids.

Speaker 4 (01:08:37):
I don't believe in that.

Speaker 3 (01:08:38):
I believe that I'm the prize and that the woman
and these kids need to straighten up and fly right,
and you need to do what you need to do
so that I can you can make sure that I
like you.

Speaker 4 (01:08:50):
It's not the other way around. Am I mad at
a man for a feeling like that? Absolutely not.

Speaker 3 (01:08:55):
Am I going to accept that. Is that an ideal
type of out of tud to that I would like
to be involved with? Probably not, Sir, you can go
take your oh or she would be lucky. Listen, I
could do bad all by myself.

Speaker 4 (01:09:11):
If I have to deal with that type of attitude
and that type of outlook.

Speaker 3 (01:09:17):
You know, sometimes you are you have to just we
have to choose our battles, and sometimes we bring in chaos,
and we selfishly do that because we see that these
people don't really have the best attitudes, they don't really
have the best outlooks on life and situations. But yet

(01:09:38):
we're like, Okay, well, you look good, she looked good,
or still want to be with him, and then they
come in and then they just disrupt your peace. They
disrupt your peace of mind. They disrupt all of the
positivity that you have going on in your life. Yes,
you got kids, just because you got kids, don't mean
that you don't have a peaceful life. It don't mean

(01:10:00):
that you got all kinds of chaos and negativity and
crazy ish in your life.

Speaker 4 (01:10:06):
It does not mean that.

Speaker 3 (01:10:07):
So be mindful and stop letting people make you feel
as though you know something is wrong with you because
you have kids and you've never been married, or you
have kids out of what like Now, I'm not saying
we gonna go and make this a sport and keep
on like all right, got one, all right, I'm in
a runner for number two. Yeah, all right, God, number two,

(01:10:29):
all right, bout to ketch up and go ahead on
making a number. Hey, make it a cool three, make
a cool folk five. Listen, we're not gonna say all that, okay,
So listen, we gotta control our fertility because listen, these
kids are a lot.

Speaker 4 (01:10:43):
They are expensive.

Speaker 3 (01:10:45):
Listen, if you got the nerves for them and the
money for them, Hey, God, bless you. But for me,
I'm gonna have to do one at a time. Listen,
one at a time, one time, niece, nephew, kids, whatever,
one at a time, because that's the extent of where
my nerves are. But when we are choosing a partner,
we gotta be very mindful that we are putting not

(01:11:07):
only our best interests, but when we got kids.

Speaker 4 (01:11:10):
You gotta put your kids.

Speaker 3 (01:11:11):
Your kids' best interests comes before you have in your
little freak golf session. Because they can be a person
that's good to have a freak golf session with. But
you know what, that's as far as it should go.
This should not turn to a relationship because the way
that they have, the way that their outlook is towards

(01:11:33):
women with kids, this is not a person that you
should be trying to see a future with. So we
gotta definitely make sure that we are paying attention to
how people are in relationships and what they're saying to us.
We gotta pay attention because if they're already telling you,
and they're giving you signs in advance that they are

(01:11:56):
not the type of people that you need to be
bringing home around your children, just keep it at that.

Speaker 4 (01:12:02):
Keep it as a freak at a freak off.

Speaker 3 (01:12:04):
Now listen, speaking of freak offs, this lady she gets
listen to this.

Speaker 4 (01:12:09):
You all let me know what you think about this.

Speaker 3 (01:12:11):
This woman she is upset at her boyfriend because he
paid his baby mama's rent. You heard me right, This
brother he paid his baby mama's rent. Now his girlfriend,
this ain't even his wife. His girlfriend is upset about that.

(01:12:32):
What do you all think about that?

Speaker 5 (01:12:34):
Is this man?

Speaker 3 (01:12:36):
First of all, this woman is not his wife, and
she is just all in his face and and you
did this, and you shouldn't have did this, and da
da da da dah. She just maybe she giving him
an ear form. And she's upset because he paid the
rent for his baby mama. And so she's like, well,

(01:13:00):
why are you paying the rent for her? Why did
you pay the rent? And he simply told her because
my son lives there. Her rent she something happened with
her job and she is behind on her rent, and
my child lives there. So I don't want my child

(01:13:21):
to be out on the street. I don't want my child.
Matter of fact, my child will not go without. So
therefore I pay the rent. You saying I'm paying it
for my baby mama. You can look at it however
you want to, but my child stays there. My child
will not be uprooted and not be homeless as long

(01:13:45):
as I have a way to make that happen and
keep it possible that my child lives a normal life.
I as a father, I as a man, I am
going to do what I need to do to take
care of my responsibility. Hands down, I commend that brother,

(01:14:06):
Because here's the deal. Some people feel like, the woman
does this, girlfriend, why are you going all out your
way and doing that. She should have did this, She
should have did that. He knows, Okay, listen, whatever it is,
whatever it is that happens, he knows that whatever happens

(01:14:28):
to his baby mama and her household and her way
of life, he understands, he accepts responsibility that it is
going to affect his child that lives with the mother.

Speaker 4 (01:14:45):
Anything that happens.

Speaker 3 (01:14:46):
To the mother's finances, it will affect his child. Whether
we want to acknowledge that or not. If anything happens
to the mother, her children.

Speaker 4 (01:14:59):
Are going to be affected.

Speaker 3 (01:15:01):
If she is going through a rough time mentally and psychologically,
it will affect her children. It's going to trickle down
and affect her children. So ladies listen, Now, this part
is for This part is for us. If you are
in a relationship or you in a situation with a

(01:15:24):
man and you feel like he do too much, he
do too much for his baby mama, that might be
a situation that you want to exit left from.

Speaker 4 (01:15:35):
I'm gonna say that again because ladies listen, some listen.

Speaker 3 (01:15:39):
You don't want him doing all of that because you
looking at it like he doing all that for that
being No, he's taking.

Speaker 4 (01:15:46):
Care of his kids.

Speaker 3 (01:15:48):
You sit down, and won't you go stifle yourself. Get
out that man, you, not even his wife. Fellas, be
mindful of these type of chicks that you all entertained
that they come to stir up discord in your life.
This woman right here, this is the type of woman.

(01:16:09):
She's not there to bring peace to your life. She's
not there to add value to your life. She's not
there to be a partner. She's there to disrupt your life.
She's there to disrupt your peace and disrupt your happiness.
That's what this chick is there for. She's not there

(01:16:30):
to add any value. So you all have to get
good at recognizing these chicks that come with this type
of side add drama.

Speaker 4 (01:16:42):
This is nothing but drama.

Speaker 3 (01:16:43):
You can be like, girl, I ain't even I have
not made no promises to you, I haven't married you,
I haven't said anything about going forward with you.

Speaker 4 (01:16:54):
And this is the foolishness that you are coming and
putting in my Listen. I don't need that. I don't
need that. See, what you're looking for, what you should
be looking.

Speaker 3 (01:17:06):
For is a woman that she's gonna the woman that
is gonna be fit, that's gonna fit good in this situation.

Speaker 4 (01:17:12):
She's going to understand, she's going to understand that.

Speaker 3 (01:17:17):
Yes, okay, I acknowledge that that man he gotta do this,
especially if he's.

Speaker 4 (01:17:22):
Able to afford to take care of her. Rent.

Speaker 3 (01:17:25):
Why would you want why would you want there to
be friction? Why would you want there to be static?
And I know some people think that, oh well, you know,
if they getting alan, then he may go back over
there and he may start messing with her. No, your
attitude is what's gonna send him over there. That's what's
gonna send him over there. Your insecurity. You're not willing

(01:17:48):
to let him do what he feels.

Speaker 4 (01:17:50):
He needs to do. As a man and as a father.

Speaker 3 (01:17:54):
That's what's going to cause him to go over there
and be creeping off with her, be because then you
gonna make him realize, like, man, this is what I've
been missing, like for real, like I've been missing out.
I can't believe that I'm missed out on all of this.

(01:18:14):
I'm missing out on this, I'm missing out on my family.
You're going to make him go back to her. You're
gonna do that. You're gonna make him go back to
his his family, his so called family, because you are

(01:18:34):
just you're just not right. You're just not right, and
you're gonna make him go back to his so called
family because you're harping him and you're giving him a
hard time on what he needs to do to be
able to go and take care of his child. You

(01:18:57):
focusing on him being able to You're focusing on him
given to the mother. You're focusing only on the mother.
That's all you focusing on. You focusing on the mother.
That's it you, that's all you focusing on. You just

(01:19:17):
focusing on the mother. But you're not worried about the child.
You're not focusing on the child. You are not focusing
on the child. You just focusing on man. You know
this mother right here, you know, he gonna he gonna
be sitting up here, he gonna be.

Speaker 4 (01:19:36):
You know, back back close with her and this and that.

Speaker 3 (01:19:39):
Listen, Linda, look look, look, look, look, why you gotta
why you gotta be like this? Why you gotta be
like that? Like, don't even don't even like you worrying
about too much. Just let this man do what he
feels he needs to do. And that shit make you

(01:20:00):
feel good. You should be happy about that because you
have found a guy that is going to take care
of his responsibility and he's going to do it right,

(01:20:21):
like he's gonna take care of his kid. He's letting
you know. So that should make you rest assured that
if he has a kid with you, or if something
happens with you, all, he's going to take care of
his kid, like he's gonna take care of his kid.

Speaker 4 (01:20:40):
He's going to do the right thing. He's gonna do
what is necessary to take care of his kid.

Speaker 3 (01:20:47):
But if we don't allow them to do what's needed,
then guess what we're gonna mess everything up? Because guess
what we run in our mouth and were doing all
this craziness and we won't just let men do what
they need to do.

Speaker 4 (01:21:04):
So let's just stop, you know, with all of that.

Speaker 3 (01:21:07):
Again, if it's not an ideal situation for you, that's
totally understandable, but let's stop trying to stand in these
people way that is trying to do what they need
to do to take care of their kids. Let these
folks do what they gonna do. So if you not
on board, if you can't handle a man that says,

(01:21:28):
you know what, listen, if anything ever happened and you know,
my baby mom's you know, fell into a hard time
and she needed some help, and she needed my money
and she needed my assistance, I am there because I
have a kid with her and I understand that if
something happens with her, it affects my child. If you

(01:21:50):
not the woman that can understand that, then that's not
it's probably not a good situation, and it's not a
good fit for you. It's probably not a situation that
you want to be in because you gotta let people
do what they feel is right in their situation, and
you being a nagging nancy on his shoulder, you know,

(01:22:15):
that's how these dudes you get in these relationships and
now you and then you, Oh God for being he
marries her if she cutting up and showing up like that,
showing out like that and they're just dating, God forbid
what she's gonna do if they get married, and now
it's both of their money and now she don't want

(01:22:35):
I don't want you spending my money on at be
she should have thought about. Oh, y'all, that's what I'm saying. Ooh,
we gotta be careful, woo child, be careful who y'all
partner up with, Lord High mercy, because I'm telling you
some people they will come. And you guys had a
good y'all had a cool, cordial co parents and relationship.

Speaker 4 (01:22:57):
Y'all was rocking and rolling.

Speaker 3 (01:22:59):
And then y'all come get these outsiders, and they got everybody,
Like Tupac said, everybody got an opinion. Everybody got an
opinion about how we should do our stuff. Listen, with
all due respect, keep your opinion to yourself, because if
this is what they was doing and it worked for

(01:23:21):
them before you got there, you either get in where
you fit in or you don't.

Speaker 4 (01:23:28):
Because here's the thing. If he's still loving you, prioritizing
you and doing what he has to do as your man.

Speaker 3 (01:23:38):
Let this man father, Now, if he's doing things that
specifically for the mother, it's her birthday and he's going
down and he's buying her expensive jewelry. And see now
that right there, I'm like, bruh, that bracelet had nothing
to do with your child, nothing to do. So I'm like,

(01:23:59):
you know, I would be mindful of those type of
friendships if like they're still huggy huggy and their touchy
touchy and they're I would be skeptical about that.

Speaker 4 (01:24:14):
I'm not gonna lie.

Speaker 3 (01:24:14):
So that would be a situation where but here's the deal.
I'm not gonna say anything.

Speaker 4 (01:24:20):
What I'm gonna do. I'm gonna sit.

Speaker 3 (01:24:23):
Back and I'm gonna watch. I'm gonna look. I'm gonna
watch for a minute, and i'm gonna see what's up.
Because if you sit up there and you start doing
all this talking, you might miss the whole picture. But
if you just sit back and observe the situation, you'll
figure out what's going on.

Speaker 4 (01:24:42):
And here's the deal. If they too touchy touchy for you,
if they too.

Speaker 3 (01:24:47):
Giggly giggly for you, then that may not be the
situation because I it will be to listen, we not
gonna be sniggling and giggling and all listen, Okay, you
and Joe turn to sniggling, giggling, all this and that. Okay,
But if y'all still sniggling and giggling with each other,

(01:25:08):
there's no purpose for me to be here. So I'm
gonna I'm gonna slide to the back and I'm gonna
let you all go ahead on and get together so
that you all can.

Speaker 4 (01:25:18):
Continue to sniggle and giggle. That's what I'm gonna do.

Speaker 3 (01:25:21):
I'm gonna let I'm gonna move to the side and
let you all do what you feel is best for
each other, because I'm not Yeah, that's just not going
to be an ideal situation for me. And for me,
that will say, you know what, man, they are a
little bit closer. They too close for comfort for me.

(01:25:43):
They relationship is a little bit too. It's a little
bit too close for me. And now I'm like, I'm
not comfortable in this situation. So I have to do
what I need to do to protect my peace, to
protect my sanity. Because here's the thing it's always about.
You have to protect your piece. But then if you

(01:26:03):
have to protect the piece of your relationship, the piece
of your home, the piece of your partner.

Speaker 4 (01:26:09):
It's all about protecting. But if you're.

Speaker 3 (01:26:11):
Walking into a situation and it's already screaming, you know,
I gotta be mindful.

Speaker 4 (01:26:17):
It's all. It's already feeling a little eerie, it's already
feeling a little heavy.

Speaker 3 (01:26:26):
That's your that's your inside, that's your gut telling you listen,
come on, cometh, you don't need to be going over there.
See this's gonna be that booll. Okay, I'm trying to
tell you now you don't need to go over that
cause see this's gonna be that booll. And now you're
gonna be up here, it's gonna be crying, and all
this other stuff. Searching his social media page is trying

(01:26:49):
to figure out what's going on, who we're talking to
and all. This is a situation you might want to
just go ahead on and back up, put that car
in reverse. Do not go forward. I'm trying to tell you,
because see I know how you are. That's what your gut,
that's what your gut and your instinct is telling you.

Speaker 4 (01:27:06):
I know how you are. And see you go get
your little feelings all hurt, and you get all falling
in love and all this and that, and now your
little feelings hurt.

Speaker 3 (01:27:14):
But I told you, I told you up front too.
I was trying to tell you. Look, look, it still
could be something going on. You know, he still could
be a little sweet on her, because see, not only
did now see did.

Speaker 4 (01:27:27):
He going above and beyond?

Speaker 3 (01:27:29):
He's no longer not only is he paying her rent
and you know, buying food and all this other stuff.

Speaker 4 (01:27:35):
That's fine, he can do that.

Speaker 3 (01:27:36):
He got a kid over there, may even help out
with the car cause she got to get the car back,
take the kid back and forth to daycare and all
this and that.

Speaker 4 (01:27:43):
Yeah, I'm good with all that.

Speaker 3 (01:27:46):
But then you see, oh, you seeing all these credit
card statements where you know, he getting her hair done,
he getting her nails done.

Speaker 4 (01:27:55):
He's you know, sending her own girls trips.

Speaker 3 (01:27:58):
And he's buying her you know, now these things that
he's doing specifically specifically for her as being a woman.

Speaker 4 (01:28:10):
Yeah, yeah, that would.

Speaker 3 (01:28:14):
That would be a cause for alarm, and that would
be cause for either a conversation or you know what,
that would be my sign to exit left, because again,
this is not the type of situation that I desire.

Speaker 4 (01:28:29):
This is not the situation that I see for myself.
This is something this is not the type of.

Speaker 3 (01:28:34):
Relationship that I know that I'm going to feel comfortable
with in the long run. So I need to do
what I need to do to ensure that I am
happy and that also that this is just a well,
it's just a it's a good situation for everyone. So
when you feel like, you know what, listen, this this

(01:28:55):
ain't gonna this ain't gonna work. Like I'm this is
not working for me. When you feel that this is
not working for you, then you have to do what
you need to do to ensure that you are in a.

Speaker 4 (01:29:07):
Healthy relationship that works for you.

Speaker 3 (01:29:11):
And you should be able to talk. For a partner
or somebody that does not have anything to hide, that
does not have an ulterior motive, then this is definitely
something that requires a conversation. But if you find that
they're getting upset and you can't talk to them about
something or they're defensive about something, then to me, you know,

(01:29:35):
where there is smoke, you know it tends. You know,
there's a fire brewing somewhere. So if we can't talk
to each other about how we feel. Then maybe that's
not the you know, I don't know. Communication is just
a big thing.

Speaker 4 (01:29:54):
Now listen.

Speaker 3 (01:29:55):
Speaking of communication, tonight, we're talking abo about mixed signals
and why we play games? Why are we still playing games?

Speaker 4 (01:30:09):
You all again?

Speaker 3 (01:30:11):
If you are in the age range where listen, you
wake up and something is hurting on you. It's always
something hurting on you. Every day you wake up, it's
some different. You wake up one day you like tang.
What I can't believe I slept like this.

Speaker 4 (01:30:27):
Now wake up. My whole arm is numb.

Speaker 3 (01:30:30):
The next day you like tang. My next crook, you know,
gotta crook here? Oh god, wake up here to back hurt?

Speaker 4 (01:30:37):
Oh my god? What is this hurting range? If you
are in that age range, tonight's conversation is for you
mixed signals. Why are we playing games? We play these
mind games with each other? So now listen.

Speaker 3 (01:31:00):
According to an online source, mind games are subtle attempts to.

Speaker 4 (01:31:07):
Emotionally or verbally control people. Some people play mind games.

Speaker 3 (01:31:15):
Because it makes them feel powerful and allows them to
avoid taking responsibility for the other person's feelings.

Speaker 4 (01:31:26):
This can also be this person can all that does.

Speaker 3 (01:31:30):
This can also be categorized as being a manipulator. You
got people out here that play all of these games. Baby,
they play these games. They throw the stones and then
they hide their hands as though they're not doing anything
like you. And if you even mention or try to

(01:31:54):
ask what's going on when you catch on to the game,
when you smell the bulls and you try to call
them on the bull junkie, it's always you don't know
what you're talking about, or you're too sensitive, or you're complaining.
See a person that is sending mixed signals and that's

(01:32:18):
playing games. They're gonna always deflect on how you feel.
They're gonna always deflect when a person's feelings and when
their intentions are not true, and when they are just
on some straight dumb stuff, when they on some straight games,
they are almost always going to They're not gonna be honest.

(01:32:42):
They're not gonna be straightforward. They're going to play games.
They gonna see you know, how far can they push you?
They they this is when a person they intentionally do
things or say things that are disrespectful or hurtful in

(01:33:06):
order to test your reaction and to see how far
can they push you. Some people would do the rudest things,
the most inconsiderate things.

Speaker 4 (01:33:19):
To see how far they can go. Some people listen
these mixed signal peoples.

Speaker 3 (01:33:27):
One minute they loving all on you, you, they boo
and all this and that. The next minute you don't
hear from them. You can't find them. You listen, you
text them baby, if you get a text back, it's
never right away. If they do, or if you call
them they don't answer, you can't get in contact with them.

(01:33:51):
Or you call them they don't answer, but guess what
they'll text you the next day you like, oh, like.

Speaker 4 (01:34:02):
I I called you, so if there's nothing going on
and you not playing games, being what's up with me calling?

Speaker 3 (01:34:14):
But then I receive a text back? So we gotta
be mindful. Now this is not listen. This is if
this is something that's consistent once in a while, listen,
issh happens, and don't let nobody make you feel like
you're insecure because you have a problem with the way
that they're moving.

Speaker 4 (01:34:33):
This is another way that people send you mixed signals.

Speaker 3 (01:34:36):
So now they want to deflect their bad behavior, and
they're bad actions, and because they're moving a certain way
and you don't like it, and so now you bring
it to their attention.

Speaker 4 (01:34:48):
Guess what, You're.

Speaker 3 (01:34:49):
Automatically made to feel bad about how you feel because
they on some ball jokey and you calling it out
and you're trying to figure out what's going on. You
definitely gotta be mindful of that. People they withhold their affection.

Speaker 4 (01:35:07):
Listen.

Speaker 3 (01:35:08):
You cannot possibly be on one minute and then you
off the next. You cannot possibly think that a person
is going to continue to feel the love and admiration
that they once felt for you once you start sending
all once you it's so much ish in the air.

(01:35:28):
One minute you like me, one minute you don't woman
to boot up, one minute you're talking, one minute you're
ghost in your nest. You cannot put all of that
confusion in the air and bring all that in the
mix of a so called relationship, and then you still
expect a person to feel all warm and fuzzy and

(01:35:51):
fuzzy and cuzzy for you. That's not going to happen
because you're sending mixed magnals, miss mixed signals and messages.

Speaker 4 (01:36:00):
People go into protective mode.

Speaker 3 (01:36:02):
They go into shut down mode because instinctively, your heart
wants to protect itself. So when you're dealing with somebody
that is sending mixed miss mixed signals and messages and
then they come and they hit you with the yeah

(01:36:23):
will man, you don't even hug me like you used to.

Speaker 4 (01:36:26):
You don't even because I'm tired of your bull junkie.

Speaker 3 (01:36:29):
That's what your spirit in your heart is saying, like
I'm out, Like I'm physically here, but my mind and
my emotions and my heart is on the other side.
I have tapped out because of the games. I've tapped
out because you're playing games and you cannot expect me

(01:36:51):
to continue to just sit around and just be like
just twiddle my thumbs as you play the games again
and the mixed messages being they act interested for a
while and then ignore you completely, only to start acting
interested again. So Monday you like me, Tuesday you mad,

(01:37:12):
Whinnsday you like me, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday you mad.

Speaker 4 (01:37:16):
And then back to Monday you like me. Who has time?
Who has the energy for that type of ish?

Speaker 3 (01:37:26):
Like you be in or you be out? Like what's
with all of that? Like, listen, pick a channel and
stick to it. Pick a listen, pick a relationship status.
Pick an attitude and.

Speaker 4 (01:37:42):
Stick with it.

Speaker 3 (01:37:43):
Either you rocking with me or you not stop rocking
with me one day and then you go disappear, then
you come back.

Speaker 4 (01:37:51):
And then you make it seem like, oh oh so
so you just so you just gonna keep acting like that.

Speaker 5 (01:37:58):
Excuse me?

Speaker 3 (01:38:00):
They're like what, acting like I'm over this? Ish if
that's what you want to say. And it's like sometimes
they just do it to just get a rise out
of you, to see you know, okay what they gonna say.
So whatever you say, be prepared to stand on it.
So we're living in a day an age where I

(01:38:22):
just believe that people just you know, it's a badge
of honor and they feel as though they're really pulling
the wool over people's eyes. When you have a good
person and you're sending mixed messages and you're doing all
of that and you're like, dag they still here.

Speaker 4 (01:38:44):
Oh yeah, all right, let me emotionally beat up on
them some more.

Speaker 3 (01:38:47):
Yeah, let me psychologically beat up on them some more,
because for me, that's exactly what it is when you
are sending mixed messages and when you are playing mind games,
that's exactly what the person is doing to you. They
are psychologically and emotionally beating up on you. They taking
you through the ringer and just causing all this unnecessary

(01:39:09):
angst and anxiety and stress and all this other issue
in your life.

Speaker 4 (01:39:15):
So we have to get to the point where we're like, Okay,
what am I gonna do?

Speaker 3 (01:39:22):
Am I going to continue to sit and let somebody
mislead me and deceive me?

Speaker 4 (01:39:32):
Especially?

Speaker 3 (01:39:33):
And this can be hard, guys, when you still love somebody,
this can be hard to accept, you see it, But
it's hard to accept.

Speaker 4 (01:39:45):
Nobody wants to sit.

Speaker 3 (01:39:46):
And look at their relationship and say, you know what,
this woman ain't no good for me.

Speaker 4 (01:39:52):
She ain't doing nothing but playing these games. One minute.
She one minute she loved me and she want to
be with me. The next minute she don't.

Speaker 3 (01:39:59):
Or this man he playing these games with me, you know,
one man and he loving all on me and we
talking and we making plans, and then the next minute
he's blocking me or he's ignoring my calls. Listen, I
know it's hard to accept, but sometimes you just gotta
look at your situation, because each situation is different, but

(01:40:22):
you gotta look at your situation and if you say
to yourself, you know what I deserve better than this.
Whatever it is that you desire from your relationship.

Speaker 4 (01:40:38):
You deserve that. You deserve better than that. You deserve
better than the foolishness that you are being dished out. Listen.

Speaker 3 (01:40:50):
Some people get so caught up in the games. Some
people Listen, i'ma be honest with you all.

Speaker 4 (01:40:55):
Some people think that they are God's gift to you,
when really they are just the devil.

Speaker 3 (01:41:03):
Some people think that they are the best thing that
has happened to you, when in actuality, they could have
been the worst thing that happened to you.

Speaker 4 (01:41:11):
They could be thinking that, man, you know I came
out and changed their life. Yes, you have.

Speaker 3 (01:41:17):
You have come in like a Tasmanian devil and you
have disrupted everything that was once positive and good in
this person's life.

Speaker 4 (01:41:28):
You have come through like the spirit that you are,
and you have disrupted that.

Speaker 3 (01:41:36):
You at that point being the person that is on
the receiving end of the mixed messages.

Speaker 4 (01:41:45):
Now it's time for you to take control of your life.
It's time for you to take control of your relationship.

Speaker 3 (01:41:54):
It's time for you to take control of your feelings,
and it's time for you to take control of your
place in your role in said relationship. See a lot
of times when the person that is being played with
and they're getting the games run on them and all
the mixed signals. The receiver of those mixed signals, sometimes

(01:42:16):
you often we often tend to try to wait for
that other person to stop. You wait for them to
stop sending you to mixed message. You wait for them
to stop playing my games. They're not gonna stop. They're
not going to stop. You have to stop it. How
do you stop it? You gotta go, Especially if you

(01:42:40):
have talked to these people more than one time and
they keep going, They keep playing these foolish games, They.

Speaker 4 (01:42:56):
Keep on with to foolishness.

Speaker 3 (01:43:01):
They just keep on and they just won't let you go.
Woman again, they just hopping in now hopping in? Why
you keep why they keep coming back? That's not the
question to ask. The question is why do I keep

(01:43:22):
allowing them to come back? Because once you're tired, and once.

Speaker 4 (01:43:29):
You get to the place where you know, listen, I
have been pushed one time too many. Now I'm not
going back.

Speaker 3 (01:43:41):
I need to regroup and get myself together and find
my peace and find my happiness. You have to stop
placing the responsibility of getting closure into the hands of
the person that is playing mixed messages or playing mind games.

(01:44:03):
You cannot how can you trust them to give you closure?
Look at what they're doing. Look at what they're doing.
They're not trying to give you closure. They enjoy having
you dangle just like this. They enjoy putting you over
here in the time out section, and then they go

(01:44:23):
play with somebody else, and then when they're ready to
play with you again, they come and.

Speaker 4 (01:44:27):
Get you out the time out box.

Speaker 3 (01:44:31):
You can't keep complaining that they keep coming back because
you're letting them back.

Speaker 4 (01:44:37):
So people can only do so for so long what
we allow them to do.

Speaker 3 (01:44:43):
So it's time to change the way that we look
at these situations and saying, Okay, you know what they're
sending mixed messages and leading you on. Now it's time
to stop following it. So you can only be led
on when you are following the foolishness. But once you

(01:45:03):
decide to stop following the foolishness, then guess what. You
can't be led on anymore. You can't be in a
position in a situation where they're playing with your mind
or they're sending you mixed signals because you have decided
to say. You know what, Listen, I am going to
cut the umbilical cord from this foolishness.

Speaker 4 (01:45:25):
I am done with this bull junkie. Right here, this,
right here, I'm done with this. This is where I
get off.

Speaker 3 (01:45:33):
See, you can't put your happiness in somebody else's hands.

Speaker 4 (01:45:38):
It's not their responsibility.

Speaker 3 (01:45:40):
If they were gonna make you happy, if they were
gonna do the right thing, then they would not be
playing these mind games with you.

Speaker 4 (01:45:47):
They would not be.

Speaker 3 (01:45:49):
Sending mixed messages and mixed signals to you if they
had your best intentions. So we gotta stop putting that
responsibility on the people that are already playing these games.

Speaker 4 (01:46:04):
They're already letting you know.

Speaker 3 (01:46:07):
That.

Speaker 4 (01:46:08):
Listen. Yep, I only like you see, sometimes we get
caught up in it. Yep.

Speaker 3 (01:46:13):
They want to be with me because they call me.
They ain't have to call me, because they always calling
me because they know that you're gonna answer. They know
that you're gonna answer, they know that you're gonna show up.
So that's why they continue to call. So don't take
that as a badge of honor. Because they're calling, because

(01:46:34):
that's just a reflection that you haven't let go. Because
as long as you allow them, they're gonna send you
mixed messages. As long as you allow them to toy
with you, they're going to do that. But you have
to put your foot down and sometimes listen, putting your

(01:46:56):
foot down comes in different different scenarios, in different situations.

Speaker 4 (01:47:02):
So again, the first time, if you this is your first.

Speaker 3 (01:47:05):
Time confronting them about the mixed messages, then I think
that you know what, have a conversation with them, have
a conversation about how you're feeling about.

Speaker 4 (01:47:14):
The games and the mixed messages. Have a conversation.

Speaker 3 (01:47:19):
But if you've had this conversation a million and one times,
the same conversation and they're still doing the same thing,
one day, you own and they loving you, and they
all lovey dubby, and once y'all finish lovey dovey, soon
as you're.

Speaker 4 (01:47:35):
Y'all part ways.

Speaker 3 (01:47:37):
Now they don't know you anymore for a couple of days,
or they don't want to be bothered up, they're back
doing too whatever it is that they they're doing.

Speaker 4 (01:47:45):
Listen for some people that say, oh, you know, I'm
I'm working I'm busy. I gotta do this with family
and this and this and that.

Speaker 3 (01:47:55):
That's also a form of sending my mixed signals, because
here's the thing.

Speaker 4 (01:48:00):
If you're too busy.

Speaker 3 (01:48:03):
To date or be in a relationship, then why not
say that, why why are we pursuing relationships? Because my
thing is this, I don't believe that there's a such
thing as being too busy to date or being too
busy for a relationship. They're just too busy for you.
They just don't want you, they just don't want those

(01:48:25):
things with you. And the moment that we can accept
those type of things and just say, you know what,
I can respect that.

Speaker 4 (01:48:34):
I just have to move on for this situation because guess.

Speaker 3 (01:48:38):
What, If I'm not getting what I need out of
this situation, there's nothing else left here for me.

Speaker 4 (01:48:45):
So I have to free myself.

Speaker 3 (01:48:48):
I have to take control and get myself off of
this psychological and mixed message carousol that I'm on. I
have to get off of this emotional roller coaster. I
have to take control of my happiness. I have to
stop putting that responsibility in the hands of others. I

(01:49:09):
have to remove myself from this situation in which I
feel that mixed messages and my mind and my emotions
are being played with. So stop putting your happiness in
the hands of somebody that's already showing you that they
can't trust that you can't trust them to make you
happy because of the things that they are doing to
try to deceive you, hurt you, and manipulate you. Guys, listen,

(01:49:32):
I want to thank you all so much for tuning in.
Please do me a favor you all. Go to our
page and like our page at the j spot. Follow
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at the j spot and j e spelled ja y
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Speaker 4 (01:49:49):
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Speaker 3 (01:49:53):
That's the jspot dot com. Go to TikTok, like and
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Speaker 4 (01:49:59):
Jay I turned on the notification