The Jaye Spot Podcast

Join us at The Jaye Spot as we recap sizzling social media topics and dive into our discussion of "Is Friends with Benefits Worth It" Tune in for Sean Wyte's hot single, "Easy to Love You," and so much more! Don't miss out—subscribe to our YouTube channel, The Jaye Spot Radio, for all the excitement!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Your host Jay, and simply e hold on, hold on,
get ready to enter the J Spot, the spot on
Intellectual radio dot com.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Good evening, Good evening, Good evening.

Speaker 3 (00:18):
And welcome to the best night of your life. You
have entered the J Spot, where we are strengthening relationships

(00:40):
and families, one conversation at a time.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
On Intellectual radio dot Com.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
We are a iheartstation. I'm your host, Jay. You all
thank you so much for allowing me to join you
on your ride home, as you cook dinner, as you
help the kids with their homework, as you kick the dog,
walk the dog, work out, whatever you are doing at
this time. I thank you for listening and tuning in.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
To Lillo Me. I appreciate you. Guys.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
Guys, we have a great show lined up for you tonight.
Please do me a favor. You all go to our
page and like our page at the J Spot. Follow
us on Twitter at Jspot. Also follow us on Instagram.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
At the J Spot. Jay is spelled Ja why.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
E for all three while you Addy, go right around
the corner. Boop boop boop, like and follow and subscribe
to our channel. There, guys, the J Spot Radio. We
are on the hunt for our one thousand subscribers.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
We are really really pushing it and we're really close.

Speaker 3 (01:47):
So come on, a lot of you all have not subscribed,
so go right on ahead. I'll drop the link in
the comments. Go subscribe to our channel to J Spot Radio.
Then go to TikTok like and follow us there the
j Spot again, guys, Jay is j a w E
turn on the notification bells for all guys. I hope

(02:07):
that your week is off to an amazing and I
do mean an amazing star because let me tell you all.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
Something here this weather here, oh child, now listen.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
I don't play about this. When it gets cold here,
listen you all, I don't play. I'm ready to shut
down everything until what may April.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
Or May of next year. I'm ready to shut down shop.

Speaker 3 (02:33):
When I tell you I woke up the other day
it was so cold and my dog on room. I'm
just like, wait a minute. I thought I went to
sleep and it was the springtime.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
Baby.

Speaker 3 (02:43):
I woke up and I was just froze. I was
stiff as a board. I was like, see, you know
what it's time for this heat to come on?

Speaker 2 (02:52):
I say, I don't care now, I didn't turn it on.

Speaker 3 (02:54):
Right at that point, because you know, when you first
turn your heat on, all that carbon monoxide and all
that built up ish that sits in there. Whatever happens
over the summer when you haven't turned the heat on
in months and that smell. I can't deal with that smell.
I need to be up and alert. So if I
pass out, at least I'm woke. I won't go to

(03:14):
the upper room in my asleep while I've turned this
heat on. But you are, listen, keep me lifted. If
I said I was coming and it started raining, I'm
not because you know this winter rain, it turns to
sleep and snow, so I won't be there. So I'm
just gonna let you know now charge it to my
head and not to my heart. But outside of that,
you all, life is good. Listen again, we have a

(03:36):
great show lined up for you all to night.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
Hope you all are doing well. Listen. The foolishness is real,
you all.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
Let me just tell you we we got we got
to do better.

Speaker 2 (03:50):
We have to do better.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
So the first high topic, you are the popular dating
show and I'm not gonna say the name, but you
all know with the red balloon, I'm just gonna say,
so you have a young lady, a new.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
Young this because you know, that's the show for the
new people.

Speaker 3 (04:06):
So the twenty three year old, and they made sure
that they pointed out her stats.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
Twenty three year.

Speaker 3 (04:13):
Old single mother of two says that she can't date
a truck driver because his job is boring and he's
not a boss.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
You all heard me, she said that she cannot.

Speaker 3 (04:28):
She's twenty three with two kids, and she said she
cannot date a truck driver because his job is boring
and he's not a boss. So when I read that,
I said, well, what do you what do you all?
Listen the statement this state. I was not shocked by

(04:49):
the statement at all. I'm not sure about you all,
but when I saw the age, I'm just like, you know, listen,
anything nothing surprises me unfor Fortunately, with these new people,
nothing surprises me whatsoever. What they say, what they do,

(05:09):
where they go, nothing surprises me anymore so the fact
that at twenty three with two kids, and you know,
it's never been married, and nine times out of ten,
I'm not sure what she does for a living at
twenty three, What type of excitement does she get at

(05:31):
twenty three?

Speaker 2 (05:32):
Is she a boss?

Speaker 3 (05:34):
At twenty three and for that statement to be made
for me, I'm just saying.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
This, we gotta do better.

Speaker 3 (05:43):
That means that there's no I'm just wondering, like what
type of examples are there around her.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
And then when I say that and I think of that,
I say.

Speaker 3 (05:55):
You know what, listen, you know what, let me retract
that statement, because she could have some solid.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
People around her. But the folks that they're looking up.

Speaker 3 (06:07):
To, these housewives and the the the little rapper chicks
and all this other stuff, all this negative crap that
has these young people totally brainwashed. And I'm just like, man,
I'm at the point where I'm like, yo, I feel
sorry for these young ladies because they, like y'all like

(06:31):
they got it twisted, like they are way off in
left field. And if we don't get control of the
narrative that's being spewed, I'm just you know, I'm scared
to see what are what is the black family gonna
look like in the next ten to fifteen years, Will

(06:54):
there be a such thing as a black family. I'm
not worried about nobody else's culture, what anybody else is
doing right now.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
I'm just talking about black people.

Speaker 3 (07:04):
What are we gonna do because spewing that type of narrative,
spewing that type of you know, that type of idiotic
rhetoric is just listen, Okay, I'm tired. Like at first,
you know, he you know, yeah, look at da da Da.
Now it's just I'm tired. I'm over it. I'm over

(07:27):
all of the negativity. I'm over all of the you know,
the craziness. I'm just over We have to sit these
young people down and we have to start having some
more meaningful conversations that you gotta we gotta let these
people know, like listen, because I'm almost feeling as though
they really don't know or they have forgotten that what

(07:51):
you see on TV, it's supposed to be for entertainment
purposes only. What you listen to, it's supposed to be
for entertainment purposes only. But we've kind of lost that,
like we've kind of lost that notion that this is
just I'm not supposed to My life is not supposed

(08:11):
to emulate these rap songs. My life is not supposed
to emulate what the girl is doing in the video
and what they're seeing in the video.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
That's not what my life is supposed to emulate.

Speaker 3 (08:25):
So I almost feel like, you know, they we've forgotten that,
we've gotten away from that, and if we don't do
better in correcting this type of behavior.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
Now, now you.

Speaker 3 (08:36):
May say, Jay, she twenty three, she grown correct what
her parents?

Speaker 2 (08:41):
No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 3 (08:42):
Because just because you've grown that don't mean that her
mama and them can't pull her to the side and
say listen here, baby girl. Yeah, it don't even work
like that. It don't even work like that, especially you
having two kids at twenty three and you're not even
a boss. You probably don't even have a job, So

(09:07):
what are you talking about at twenty three? You shouldn't
even be worried about what somebody's somebody's job being.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
Boring or anything like that.

Speaker 3 (09:17):
You need to be leveling up for the young people,
the kids that you've created.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
You need to be leveling up for them.

Speaker 3 (09:25):
You don't have time to be worried about what somebody
else is doing. You don't have time to be on
a dating show. Listen, you've already done enough, sweetheart, at
twenty three. You've had enough going on in twenty three years.
You need to put that monkey up. Okay, you need
to seal your closet door. You need to shut that

(09:45):
jar for a bit. You need to shut that ish
down because, let me.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
Tell you.

Speaker 3 (09:51):
Twenty three were two kids. Chill out, cool out, cool out.
You need to sit back and prioritize. You need to
refocus and regroup. You got two kids.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
You don't have time.

Speaker 3 (10:05):
And because that's what I looked at, I'm like, oh, okay,
so uh, little mama got two kids. Not bashing a
single mother, not bashing up because you got kids out
of wedlock.

Speaker 2 (10:18):
Baby girl, you twenty three with two kids. You're too young?
What are you?

Speaker 3 (10:25):
What are your goals and what are your aspirations? You
worried about what he's doing? What are you doing? You
got two whole little people that you are responsible for.
That's where your focus needs to be. That's where your
conversation needs to be. You don't got time to be
worried about what this man got going on and what

(10:47):
he's bringing in and what he's bringing out. Worry about
what you're bringing in and what you're gonna do and
how you're going to secure your children's future.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
Because your children.

Speaker 3 (10:58):
Are not this supposed to be Warren truck drivers. Kids
that you know he's not a boss.

Speaker 2 (11:04):
Here's the thing. At least he has a steady stream.

Speaker 3 (11:06):
Of income, and you don't know if he's a boss
or not, because he could own his own truck. So
I'm just saying, we have to change this narrative because
we all don't think like that, and all the new
all these new people, they all.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
Don't think like that.

Speaker 3 (11:26):
But right now social media in the world is just
having a field day at promoting this agenda. And so
they will go to certain areas where they know that
this mindset is prevalent, and then they will exploit those
in a position that is looking for something that crabs

(11:49):
in a barrel mentality. We'll go there and then we'll
ask these type of questions. So we already know that
the opinion is going to be biased. We already know.
When we go and they ask these questions, you already
know what the answer gonna be because you specifically went
to that area where you know that this is the
type of stuff that's going on over that. You won't

(12:11):
go to an area where you know that they're prone
to give you a more educated answer.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
We're not gonna do that.

Speaker 3 (12:18):
We're gonna go to these certain impoverished areas and then
we're gonna boom, here's the narrative. And then yeah, they
all think like that. It's not that we gotta do
all this, Myron is saying. It's not just the media.
The responsibility still falls on the parents and the village
to teach the children, to teach and nurture their children

(12:40):
to have good response or to have good relationships exactly.
And that's and that's exactly what I said, Myron. We
have to do that. I mean, you gotta sit down
your parents, they these parents, these aunties, they gotta sit
down and have a conversation with these new people. And again,
we had, we collectively have to come together to change
that narrative because if we don't. Again, I don't even

(13:04):
want to think of.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
What the families are gonna look like ten years from now.

Speaker 3 (13:10):
We see where we are right now, we see where
we are today, but my goodness, ten years from.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
Now, where will we be.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
And these new people are thinking, she's twenty three now,
and if she continues to think like that, thirty three,
what in the world I mean? And two kids at
twenty three ain't no telling how many she'll have by
thirty three, And if nobody talks to her and she
doesn't level up on her own, then she's gonna have

(13:42):
more kids out here, and you know you're gonna pass
this mindset down to them.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
And you still, in ten years, you have not leveled up.

Speaker 3 (13:53):
You're still sitting around judging this dude on what he
has or what he does not have.

Speaker 2 (14:00):
But in ten years, you haven't done anything.

Speaker 3 (14:03):
So we have to make sure that we gotta get
in tune with these young people you are. We have
to make sure that we are talking to them and
that we are showing them the right way.

Speaker 2 (14:15):
Because again, if listen, if.

Speaker 3 (14:18):
Old ducks, if they own this social media, looking at
these old ducks and these old birds jumping across tables,
and I'm his wife and I'm a basketball wife. Girl,
you a basketball girlfriend or one of the basketball girlfriends?

Speaker 2 (14:33):
You not a wife if you like.

Speaker 3 (14:35):
If we continue to allow that to be our story
and continue to allow that to be our children's story
and our children's children's stories, what are we gonna do
as a black family. Cedric gets saying, I'm a man
and I didn't have my first kid until twenty three, myself.
Glenn Hey, Glenn is saying live on the set. Hey Glenn,

(14:57):
this is Glenn O'Neal formerly from Public Announcement. Definitely make
sure you check out his new single Glenn. Drop your arm,
drop your information in the chat for me. But yeah,
definitely such Listen.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
I'm not coming down.

Speaker 3 (15:11):
On her being twenty three and had well two kids. Okay,
how was I when I am?

Speaker 2 (15:18):
My kid? I don't know.

Speaker 3 (15:19):
I was young, baby. I was busting that thing wide open.
I was just like pop that pop that, you know,
and then you know, here I am.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
But you know, I ain't gonna lie. I ain't gonna lie.

Speaker 3 (15:32):
I'm gonna tell y'all who got me caught up? And
this is how I promise you. I know lie how
I got pregnant. I'm telling y'all. It was just I
just I sleep you know, I was sleep walking and
I fell right on that thing.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
I was like, oh God, I'm pregnant.

Speaker 3 (15:45):
You know. That's that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
You feel me, that's my story. I'm sticking to it.
I fell on that thing and now you know I
got a kid.

Speaker 2 (15:54):
You know.

Speaker 3 (15:55):
I was just like why, I didn't know what what's
going on? You know, not y'all black guys. Listen, We're
gonna take a short musical break.

Speaker 4 (16:06):
Breat Oh you brove.

Speaker 5 (16:20):
Me Ben sain't o Reagan, it's that waging just sleep,
beam a sunny your feature.

Speaker 4 (16:35):
It's that inning me a bone. I only had a fish.

Speaker 5 (16:41):
Deal my name the shadows over me.

Speaker 6 (16:54):
Oh no, no, I never had an interest until I'm not.
And I don't hope you heasy just a phase I'll
go through. But I feel that it, Shue is.

Speaker 5 (17:11):
We don't need no labor spade, well we got is
something different.

Speaker 7 (17:18):
We don't need no labors, baby lady, we don't need
no lame.

Speaker 8 (17:27):
To show.

Speaker 9 (17:29):
Then we'll be having something special, shapeful to show for Shure.

Speaker 10 (17:38):
I don't feel it is someone nice, stand it's.

Speaker 7 (17:42):
The love you hear heart loving paradis on lifestad.

Speaker 5 (17:50):
Yes, that sweave you off your feet, have you everything
you need? That's a little fit is.

Speaker 7 (17:58):
That don't be got the punk You want to be alone?
And I never thought I feel this way and you
came along and who.

Speaker 5 (18:10):
No, no, I never had antry until I met you.

Speaker 6 (18:15):
Still I met you, and I don't know it if
it's really it's just a phase, but I feel.

Speaker 5 (18:22):
That is true.

Speaker 8 (18:26):
We don't need no label's name.

Speaker 5 (18:29):
Well we got is something different.

Speaker 9 (18:33):
We don't need no labor label, lady. We don't need
no label to show the way we have is something special.

Speaker 11 (18:46):
Shape Shell, since you came in my life, fussy, so clever, now.

Speaker 5 (19:01):
Hell so special, no need.

Speaker 3 (19:07):
Welcome back to the j Spot, where we are strengthening
relationships and families, one conversation at a time.

Speaker 2 (19:15):
Guys, I wanna thank you all so much for tuning
and please do me a favor. You all go to our.

Speaker 3 (19:20):
Page and like our page at the J Spot, follow
us on Twitter at jspot. Also follow us on Instagram
at the j spot and Jay Spield j A y
e for all three why you add it? Go right
around the corner Boo boo boop like and subscribe our
YouTube channel. You are the J spot Radio and then

(19:43):
go to TikTok like and follow us there the J
Spot j A y E. Turn on a notification bill
on all platforms. Guys, I wanna thank you all so
much for tuning in. Again, please do me a favor.

Speaker 2 (19:58):
Go to our YouTube.

Speaker 3 (20:00):
It's like just bypass all of ums. Just go right
to YouTube, like and subscribe us.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
There.

Speaker 3 (20:05):
We are trying to get our thousand subscribers. There, guys,
we have content on YouTube that is only on YouTube,
so and we're not gonna post it on the other
social media sites because we want you to go to YouTube.

Speaker 2 (20:17):
Listen.

Speaker 3 (20:19):
You are going to see me in my natural element
and when I tear you, listen, the foolery be real
on that YouTube.

Speaker 2 (20:27):
Y'all need to go on over there and check it out.

Speaker 3 (20:29):
If you have not checked out my dysfunctional footy reviews,
you can check them out because they are on YouTube.

Speaker 2 (20:36):
YouTube YouTube YouTube.

Speaker 3 (20:38):
And that's the j Spot Radio. Like and subscribe our
channel and turn on the notification bells. Gods, listen our
next hot topic.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
Now. I don't know why people do things like this,
but you know you got some that do.

Speaker 3 (20:54):
So. A group of friends, they went out for one
of the friend's birthday and they went to have a
birthday dinner. They went out for her birthday dinner, and
so they recorded one of the girlfriends of the group.
I guess this is this is the chick that whenever
they go somewhere, it's the chick that they can't take
out nowhere because they already know how she gonna act

(21:16):
when the check come.

Speaker 2 (21:18):
So they filming her as she walks away.

Speaker 3 (21:22):
When the check comes, she get up and walk away,
so like they like the whole group, like they low
keep talking about the friend as she walked away. And
so they come and she comes back because they wait
for her before they decide to pay for the bill.
And so when she comes back to the table, they
tell her, you know, the bill is here, so we

(21:43):
just gonna split the bill five ways.

Speaker 2 (21:45):
And so baby girl looked at them like five ways?
What you what?

Speaker 3 (21:50):
We split it five ways? For I didn't have nothing
to eat. All I had was this cup of water,
add a piece of lettuce. So she was eating the lettuce.
Somebody ordered an appetizer, maybe some cheese sticks or something.
Somebody ordered some apple appetizer and then you know how
they have the decorative lettuce around the appetizer. She ate
the decorative lettuce around the appetizer. So she did not

(22:14):
order a meal, and basically she was picking off of
everybody's plate. But she did not order her own meal,
and she didn't have anything to drink. So again she
said that, you know what, I'm not splitting the bill
five ways because I didn't eat anything. I didn't order anything,
So what do you all think about that? So what's

(22:36):
she wrong for that? What's she wrong for getting up
and refusing to pay? So not only did she refuse
to pay, blissen homegirl was like, listen, y'all, don't even
have to worry about taking me to my car. I
can't uber back to my car. She was like, is
I'm I don't have to deal with this? And they like,
you know, they calling her out, They like, you always

(22:58):
do that every time we go out. So who's right
and who's wrong? Is the lady is the friend that
only had the lettuce, the decorative lettuce and a glass
of water? Is she wrong for not wanting to split
the bill evenly five ways? Because she did not eat

(23:18):
or she did not order anything?

Speaker 2 (23:21):
Or were the friends being petty and bogus and ganging
up on her? Especially if you know that she always
does this? Why even make this an issue?

Speaker 3 (23:34):
Why even invite her, Hay sparklele, Why even invite her
if you know that this is what she's going to do?

Speaker 2 (23:42):
She orders just drinks, just the water. Now here's the deal.
I can say.

Speaker 3 (23:48):
Let me just bet I can understand to a certain
extent her her position. If she didn't eat anything. If
she didn't order, oh oh I forgot to Yeah, all
she did. She put down two dollars on the table,
two little funky dollars. So my thing is this, if

(24:08):
you did not eat and you didn't order anything, okay, Yeah,
I'm not about to split this bill five ways evenly,
as though I ate, but I will put something on
because I'm out with the birthday person. I am going
to contribute something because if we're out for my friend,

(24:29):
this is my friend. I'm gonna put something on the bill.
But I'm not splitting this bill five ways evenly. I'm
not doing this. So I'm with old girl with that,
I'm not splitting it five ways evenly, but also with
the girl dad knows that she has a problem with
splitting bills and paying her tab or if you just

(24:50):
don't have it, you need to stay at home. You
need to stay at home. Stop putting yourself in position
like this. Now, I will say this. When I go
out a lot of times, I like to get a
separate check. And I'm gonna tell y'all why I like
to get a separate check. I don't drink, you not
finna put my tab on the tab with all these

(25:12):
liquor drinkers and then think I'm about to split the
bill evenly, and y'all done drunk all that liquor, and
here I am just with some tea, and baby, it's
some and or a cup of coffee, and it's the
basic coffee. It ain't the coffee the way I like it.
So y'all up here throw on them back. And I'm

(25:33):
supposed to split the bill evenly with you.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
I think not. I think not.

Speaker 3 (25:39):
I will have listen, I want a separate check, and
I'm gonna let these liquor drinkers do what they gonna do,
because y'all know that liquor be expensive. And now the
bill list gotta have which thankfully, I've never had this
issue with liquor drinkers because you know, everybody pays whatever.
But again, don't start no stuff. Won't be no stuff.

(26:02):
Cedric was saying. I wouldn't have paid anything either. I'm
just saying. And then you said she left a tip,
Sea she put down two dollars, and baby, she listened.
They was a little too little, cropped up dollars like
she that seemed like that was her last two dollars,
and she was trying to be somewhere where.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
You know what, baby girl, you probably should have just
sat this one hour.

Speaker 3 (26:25):
She probably should have just set this particular, this particular
birthday party. She should have just set this ish out
so that she did not have to be in this situation,
because again, you had the option to stay at home,
but you chose to come and do anything. My sister
on him, my sister, Leanna, hay Leanna. She's saying, Jay.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
Ain't going to pay at all at all.

Speaker 3 (26:50):
I'm like, listen, give me my own my own check,
and let me be responsible for my own self, because again,
you know something, some times.

Speaker 2 (27:00):
These bills can get out of controlling.

Speaker 3 (27:02):
I'm like, you know, like, oh girl, I'm like, well listen,
well the way my the way my checking account is
set up is that you know, wait a minute, and
not listen. I ain't hooked, you know, I ain't you know, listen,
I ain't got no sugar daddies flowing like that, you know,
like back in the day, you know, ever since you
know you are, I have been redeemed and when you

(27:24):
living on a redeemed budget, you know you have to
be sensible.

Speaker 2 (27:29):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (27:30):
You know, I ain't got you know, all of this
coming and you know this one cash shopping you this,
and this one's sending you this.

Speaker 2 (27:37):
You know, I'm living right now you are.

Speaker 3 (27:40):
And I'm gonna tell you it's an adjustment. It really
is an adjustment to live right, It really is. You know,
you have to take into consideration a lot of things
that you normally don't have to take into consideration when
you living on somebody else's dime, but when you living

(28:00):
rite and you know, you like, Lord, now you know
I don't been to church and I and I had
a meeting with the pastor, okay, cause you know, listen,
I'm baby, I'm telling something.

Speaker 2 (28:11):
I'm no stranger and I've told you how this before.

Speaker 3 (28:13):
I am no stranger to having my name called across
the altar and the pastor and the minister boards want
to meet with me after service, like Sister Advance, Pastor one.
I'm like, oh god, come on now, it's like how
many times it's listening the whole congregation, No Sister Vance,

(28:34):
Sister Vans the past won't cheez fans, Pastor.

Speaker 2 (28:38):
I'm like, what did I do?

Speaker 3 (28:40):
Listen, y'all would have listened. I'm telling you you would
think that I'm a celebrity. Okay, as many times as
my name get called across that altar, you was, listen,
you will swear I got it going on somewhere. You
will swear I got an NBA contract or something. You
will swear I got a record label or something. As

(29:01):
sister Vans don't leave yet the past one, I'd be
like us, I say, so, you know what, I just
started going to the bathroom before they do the benediction,
and then I'll just slide on up out the door
because I'm like, who fanna be? You know, who fanna
be dealing with this? Who about to be dealing with this?

Speaker 2 (29:18):
But that's all a part, you know, just trying to
live right and do the right thing.

Speaker 3 (29:23):
Sparkle, you're saying I wouldn't invite her again, lol, And
then you said had to meeting.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
Lol. Listen, Sparkle, I stay up in there. Listen.

Speaker 3 (29:31):
They always calling me, send me and say the pass said,
why you leave? Look cause I got places you don't got.

Speaker 2 (29:37):
Stuff to do.

Speaker 3 (29:38):
But you know, it's only so many times you can
slide on out before they corner you and now you
gotta go. But listen again, what these listen, splint and
talk about this stuff beforehand. Okay, like and again, if
you know that a person, because clearly they knew that

(29:58):
this was the girlfriend that was not. So if y'all
don't feel like dealing with all that, then don't invite her,
you know, because you already know what it is and
express now listen, I'm getting another.

Speaker 2 (30:09):
Way to look at this because I looked at the.

Speaker 3 (30:11):
Little too crumbly little dollars that she you don't have
my dndom headed up in here.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
They go up in here and she pull it on
up out of here and she hold on. She pulled
it up out of here. She like, hold on, wait
a minute, baby.

Speaker 3 (30:26):
She and you know, our grandmama Modenam used to go
and they little stashed and they bring it out. That's
where she brought the two dollars from. She brought it
from right on up out of there. She was just
like mm hmm, hold on, are you you said split something?
I ain't split something, but I'm I'm i'm'na leave a
less something on the hold on, It ain't what you're
asking for, but I'm gonna leave a less something. She
put them little two dollars baby on the table and

(30:47):
she was up out of there. Okay, So the friends
I felt like I felt, I was indifferent about it.
I felt that the friends were some type of way
because you knew your friend and y'all.

Speaker 2 (31:01):
Know her situation. A nine times out of ten.

Speaker 3 (31:03):
They knew her situation. Like I said, I'm just saying
that based on the little too funky, little crumbled up
dollars that she that she brought and put on the table,
that they knew her situation and they put her in
a position to talk about her.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
So that's one thing. That's another way that I kind
of looked at the video.

Speaker 3 (31:20):
But nevertheless, you know who your friends are, You know
who your people are, you know what they pockets looking like.
Stop putting people in position that you know that you
know that they ain't got it and listen self accountability
and self awareness.

Speaker 2 (31:34):
Listen.

Speaker 3 (31:35):
But you know if you ain't got it, ride it out.
You're gonna have to sit this one out. Stop trying
to show up everywhere if you can't afford it. Stop
trying to show up everywhere, Sit show in down until
you can afford it.

Speaker 2 (31:50):
Stay home. Listen, understand this.

Speaker 3 (31:52):
You gotta embrace the fact that Listen, being outside is expensive.

Speaker 2 (31:57):
It can be very expensive. And you you know that
if you're checking and your savings doing like this, you
ain't got it. Sit back. It's okay. I ain't gonna
be a girl. I ain't gonna be able to go.
I'm a little short right now.

Speaker 3 (32:10):
I got to cover all my bills, and it's okay
to tell people that I've covered all my bills and
I can't go.

Speaker 2 (32:18):
And I'm gonna tell you when I don't have no money.
I'm not a friendly.

Speaker 3 (32:22):
Person and I've tried and I say, Lord, I know
you're gonna have to help me with this, but it's
like the devil being me with because I don't want Look,
I don't want to be bothered. I just want to
do what I gotta do because I gotta get my
bag up, I gotta get my weight up.

Speaker 2 (32:36):
And I'm thankful that I'm surrounded by.

Speaker 3 (32:39):
People that will be like you know, listen, I got you,
I got you, and I appreciate being had.

Speaker 2 (32:45):
But I don't want no. I don't know, because I
just don't. I'm the type of person. I don't like
asking for stuff. I don't like.

Speaker 3 (32:52):
Owing things, and I'm not seeing that people do things
because I and then I will have to owe you.

Speaker 2 (32:57):
But I just don't. I like to be the gift.
Let me say that, I like to be the giver
because I know that I'm totally.

Speaker 3 (33:05):
Not expecting nothing back in return from this particular person.
I'm like, listen, I got too many blessings out here
that I'm waiting to come trickling down my way. So
if I do something nice for you, I put myself,
you know, just one step closer to the blessings that
I'm trying to get, and it got nothing to do
with you. So that's the type of person that I am,
as far as on the giving side, but on the

(33:26):
receiving side, Listen, it's gonna take some it's gonna take
some giving, it's gonna take some doing because I really
don't like I really don't like it, and I know
everybody need.

Speaker 2 (33:39):
Help, yes we do. I'm no exception, but as far
as accepting it, it's.

Speaker 3 (33:43):
A little hard for me to do because, like I said,
just with stuff like this, when you got friends like that,
whoa And I'm not saying my friends I like that.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
I'm not saying my families like that.

Speaker 3 (33:53):
I'm not saying that I've been through that, but just
seeing that it scars me and be like see y'all,
and it justifies me crazy for being over here, Like mmm.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
See girl, yup. That's why.

Speaker 3 (34:03):
That's why you don'na be taking nothing from nobody, because
you don't want nobody to be acting like this. So
no thank you, but no thank you. So if you
don't got it, stay home. That's what your mom and
the music tibby. If you ain't got no money to
get home, you better stay home. If you don't got
no money to eat, stay home. And no doubt that's
probably why she thought that she would be fine, that

(34:25):
you know that she would show up she and she
didn't order anything, so we don't know what she was thinking.
But like I said, I think that you know, she
has a group of mean girlfriends like her. She got
some bully friends and they some mean girls for doing
that to her and and her lie I would say
this her attitude, would think.

Speaker 2 (34:48):
So I probably would have put a camera on her too.
I ain't gonna lie.

Speaker 3 (34:51):
I probably because she made she made for good entertainment.
I'm not going that's why we're talking about it now.
Because she made for good entertainment. But looking at the
whole scope of everything, I kind of felt like, you know,
her friends.

Speaker 2 (35:05):
Were a bunch of mean girls, because if this is
somebody and you whispering on the camera she always do this,
and why she do this? And why she do that?
Why would you bring her?

Speaker 3 (35:16):
And then at the same time, like I said, young lady,
baby girl, you knew that you didn't have it. Next time,
you need to start staying home. Listen to your first mind.

Speaker 2 (35:25):
Stay home.

Speaker 3 (35:26):
You could have stayed home and did you a Netflix
and child and saved yourself all the headaches. So here's
the thing, word to the wise. If you don't have it,
then don't go. And you just gotta stop showing up.
And this was a case where clearly she should not
showed up for the friend because the friend did not
appreciate the fact.

Speaker 2 (35:44):
That she came up and showed out, you know, showed.

Speaker 3 (35:47):
Up for her birthday party because the friend was it's
the birthday, girl was instigating it's my birthday.

Speaker 2 (35:54):
You not even gonna help for my birthday? Oh way,
ain't you see?

Speaker 5 (35:58):
Girl?

Speaker 2 (35:58):
No, Like, why do I have to tell you that
I don't have it?

Speaker 3 (36:02):
I'm acting accordingly, I'm participating and I'm here to support you,
but I don't get it like that. And you know
I all got it like that, which is why I
didn't order anything. And then for the people around and
the more I think about it, it's like, Dick, what
type of friends are these?

Speaker 2 (36:20):
If you see that she didn't order anything, you saw
all she had was water.

Speaker 3 (36:27):
Did nobody at the table offer to get her like
gret you good, I got you? If you know you good,
I got you. Nobody did that. All you thought to
do was to record her and put her on the spot.
So for me, I don't think that those are any
type of friends, and I would definitely look and think
twice about that relationship because those smiling your face and

(36:49):
got these ulterior motives.

Speaker 2 (36:51):
This is how people go on trips.

Speaker 3 (36:53):
And then they get hurt because you be the one
friend that the whole group that I turned against and
you seeing signs that they done turned against.

Speaker 2 (37:01):
You, but you're still trying to act like you don't
see it.

Speaker 3 (37:04):
These my girls, these my girls. You know, we just
had a little spat. But sometimes you gotta take a
deeper look into how people are moving towards you, and
then you have to proceed accordingly. Hey Peterson, how you doing.
You gotta proceed accordingly, because again we get caught up
and all myself, I've done this as well. You know,

(37:26):
we get caught up and thinking just because we know
each other, or we've known a person for a certain
amount of time, they are friends everybody. I don't care
if you know them for twenty years, thirty years, thirty five,
forty five. A snake, listen, A snake will sit there
and hiss and wait for the right time to pound.
So it don't matter how long you've known a person,

(37:48):
it doesn't make them doesn't necessarily make that person a
friend just because you've known them for X amount of years.
So definitely, you know, I would say, be mindful again,
don't be afraid to turn people down if you don't
have it. Don't feel like you owe anybody anything by
going out and putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation. That's

(38:09):
one thing. And then I think the next thing is
that if these were truly her friends, they would have
never done her like this. They would have never done
this to her if they were truly friends. Now speaking
of done her like this and truly friends, listen, this
next hot topic. This brother said, why can't women pay

(38:32):
for the first date? Y'all eat too? We ain't paying
because if you asked me, then you should be prepared
to pay.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
If you asked me out, then I'm expecting you to
take care of everything.

Speaker 3 (38:50):
If I asked you out on the first date, then
I would be prepared to pay for everything. But if
you asked me out, why why am I expecting to pay?
Why would so? Why would a woman be expecting to
pay on a first date? If the man acts around
so again it goes back to okay, so what are

(39:12):
we doing?

Speaker 2 (39:12):
Are we saying? Okay, I'm that's what you want to
slap this?

Speaker 3 (39:16):
These modering women and these listen, No, your pockets are modering.
And again I have to say listen, first of all,
stop going out this sound this sounds like some broke
You know, I should be saving up and I got
some other things to do. Type this sounds like that
type of post if you don't have it, just like

(39:38):
we just talked about with the young lady, stop inviting women.
If you don't want to pay for a woman to
eat on the first date, stop asking them out for dates.
Case clothes. Now you don't have to worry about paying
for anything. Stop inviting women out. If you cannot pay
for the first date, stop inviting women out now, how

(39:59):
about that?

Speaker 2 (40:00):
Now see how simple that was. If you want to
know why they're not paying.

Speaker 3 (40:04):
Because you invited her, you invited her for the first date.
So if you have a problem with paying for a
first date, my suggestion is always this.

Speaker 2 (40:16):
Here's the deal. If you are one of these dudes,
and you.

Speaker 3 (40:20):
Know, you on the up end, you're coming up with
the new dude thing, and you on that new dude stuff,
you know, I understand, but communicate that this is why
we're having the problems that we're having in relationships and
we're dating because nobody is communicating up front. No doubt

(40:41):
this guy feels like this, which he's perfectly fine with
feeling like that. But why not tell her that before
she shows up for the date? So tell her that
you know what, Listen, I believe that women should You know, listen,
I invited you, but I think that you should pay
for the first date.

Speaker 2 (40:59):
Set that.

Speaker 3 (40:59):
Save that on the phone, say that in the text message,
Say that somewhere outside of me putting on the good brawl.
Now to put the good braw on. I done put
the good drawls on. I done did all of this
to come out here to this date. And now you're
gonna sit up here and say, I got you want
me to pay for the first day. I don't have

(41:21):
a problem with paying my own way, let me say that.
But if I pay my own way, listen, then I'm
gonna plan and do whatever it is that I wanna do,
and I don't have to do it with you.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
Listen.

Speaker 3 (41:31):
I could have had the comfortable panties on. I could
have had the comfortable braw all I could have had.
I could have been all comfortable, and I could have
sat there in my chair and ate my food and
had a good time. And I wouldn't have had to
sit up there and look at you across the table
and try to figure out what is that growing on
the side of your head. I wouldn't have had to

(41:53):
sit there through the whole date and try to figure
out what is that on his knuckle?

Speaker 2 (41:59):
Like what is.

Speaker 3 (42:00):
Did he break his knuckles? I mean like I wouldn't
have to sit through certain things like that. I would
have got me a nice little corner booth and I
would have ordered what I'm gonna order again.

Speaker 2 (42:11):
If I decided that I want the bad boys, I
didn't even want to have a bro on. I just
want to just let them.

Speaker 3 (42:17):
Just drag all through the dog On restaurant and all
of the guests see all all the little sparks as
my theft thighs just dragged through the dog On restaurant.
It's my prerogative. I can let them drag however they
want to. But you know what, thankfully they don't drag
like they ladies. If you do like this, do these

(42:39):
I forgot what are these calls these flies? I think
they're called chest flies. You know that helped the you
know that helped the lift them up a little bit.
But I do this just when I drink my coffee.
So that's what keeps mind in order. When I drink
my coffee, I do this. So like this is this
is a former mmmmm. See that's a form of exercise
right there. Keep them bad boys, you see that. See
just drinking? Just lift it on up, just lift that's exercising.

(43:01):
You do like this now you're doing dumbbell curls. You
just lifting a cup up. So if you do this,
you know that's a form of exercise.

Speaker 2 (43:08):
So don't.

Speaker 3 (43:09):
Don't let nobody else tell you differently, you know. For
more fitness tips from Jan follow us on YouTube at
the Jaspot Radio. Subscribe to our channel, and I have
more fitness tips for you ladies, you know. But again
I could have did that. So if you're gonna be
complaining about paying for the first date, please sir as

(43:31):
Cedric just said, stay in your lane. Stay in your lane, brother,
stay in your lane, and stop trying to date. Like
it's like, come on, now, you don't want to pay
for it, what do you want? You don't want to
pay for a date, but then you want her to
get so you but you want her to get all
hot and bothered, so much hot and bothered that after

(43:54):
the date that she' I'm paid for and then you
want her to go.

Speaker 2 (43:59):
Home for what.

Speaker 9 (44:03):
For?

Speaker 3 (44:03):
What? I'm not saying that because you pay for her,
that she's gonna go home for you. But what I'm
saying is you don't you You not even warming the
oven up, You not warming the oven up?

Speaker 2 (44:18):
Whatsoever?

Speaker 3 (44:20):
You got her over there just is listen, baby, dry
as a cactus. We are over here in a boardroom meeting.
We are not on a date. We are in a
boardroom meeting. And you know something, Listen, baby, I trust me.
I know I don't slept through many of them. Okay,
so them things can be super boring. And that's how

(44:43):
that date is, and that's how she gonna feel when
you're talking about some well you gonna have to go
ahead on and you know we split this and this
and that, say that ish upfront. And like I say,
when you listen, you ask me to pay for my date,
I'm like, not gonna clown at all, not gonna clown

(45:03):
at all, baby, I'm gonna pay for what I ordered,
and I'm gonna go home my home. You go your home,
so where you so where you want to go. I
don't know what you're about to do, but I'm going
home simply because you've spoiled my mood. And I'm no
longer interested because now I'll put you in the oh

(45:24):
so you that dude category. And I will say this, thankfully,
I have never had that issue. I've never had that
issue as far as paying for them. But I will
say this, let me tell you all what happened to me. Now,
I did talk to this brother that was cheap okay,
And I don't even want.

Speaker 2 (45:43):
To say cheap. But and it wasn't just for me.
I think this was just a lie.

Speaker 3 (45:47):
This is the way he lived his life. And I'm
not mad at him, but it wasn't for me. I
can tell that that was not gonna be a lifestyle
for me.

Speaker 2 (45:57):
And here's the thing.

Speaker 3 (45:57):
I am not a material it's the person I am.
But I like what I like and I want what
I want, and I'm like, if I can buy it
for myself.

Speaker 2 (46:08):
I'm not gonna get with you. And then I'm not
gonna be able to buy what I like to buy
already by myself.

Speaker 3 (46:15):
And I kind of saw like, okay, yeah, now this
brother live a different type of life. And he's trying
to see he was in his representative phase, Like so
you trying to act like you're keeping up, but you know,
I saw you know. I would see him cringe of
you know, cringe a time or two when you know
the price of something to come up. But again, this

(46:36):
is something you chose to do. I see him flinch
like that a little. I'm like, oh wait, wait a minute,
I see this is.

Speaker 2 (46:45):
This is too much.

Speaker 3 (46:46):
And again I don't I'm not the go to the
restaurant and Oh, she gonna order everything, and she gonna
you know, order all off the expensive mixuse. First of all, again,
I'm not like the biggest dinner type entrade type eating person.
I'm not that person. I don't drink alcohol. Listen, the

(47:10):
way I clown is naturally, there's no substance, there's no drugs,
there's no nothing. This is just the this is I
get that from my daddy and my daddy's side of
the family. I just get that from my daddy. So
you know what a whole tinge in my mama too,
cause I'm telling Sister Advance is Sister Vance is out
there too. So I get that from my parents. Ain't

(47:30):
no alcohol, no drugs, no nothing.

Speaker 2 (47:31):
This is just my parents.

Speaker 3 (47:33):
But you know I like coffee. Wait, Sparkle, you're saying
that big golp is everything. Sparkle is a whole big
gop of coffee. I'll be playing no games. I need
the whole shebang. But when you talking about like going out,
and it's like he was cheap. So it's like one
day we went out and so he was just like

(47:55):
we had went to see up. We had went, uh,
we had came from seeing this play and so we
went out, and he was like, did you want to
grab something.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
To eat afterwards?

Speaker 3 (48:05):
So where we were at, we were by the we
would buy the shrimp house, and so they only take
cash at the shrimp house. So I was just like, okay, well,
you know, we could just get some shrimp since you know,
we over buyt a shrimp house or whatever. So he
was like, well, how much does it costs? He was like,
cause he didn't have any cash, so he was gonna

(48:26):
go to the ATM. Now listen, I go to the
shrimp house a lot, so I know what the menu was.
So I was reciting them in you and telling him like, well,
he was whatever, So tell him that them get to
the shrimp house. So I placed my order. So I'm like,
you know, he's like, go ahead and place your order whatever.

(48:46):
So I ordered, you know, the jumbo shrimp, you know,
and just so I think a jumbo shrimp and some
French fries. That was it.

Speaker 2 (48:54):
Now the pounds, so y'all knew that that was like
twenty some dollars.

Speaker 3 (48:59):
So he get up there to pay for it and everything,
and so I noticed that he didn't order, and so
I'm lying, I'm wondering why didn't he order, And so
I look and this man only got twenty dollars out
the ATM. So I just spent his whole little twenty
dollars just on the little shrimp and stuff that I have.

(49:23):
Now you all listen what I'm about to tell y'all.
Please don't judge me, because y'all already know I am
kind of petty. You know, I am a bit petty.
Or two, okay, I am a little petty. So I
saw that he didn't order anything. So I'm saying to myself,
I know, good and dog on, Well, he don't think

(49:46):
that this pound of jumbo shrimp is going to be shared,
because it's not. This pound is This is not enough
to share. This is not a serving size for two.
This is a single serving. So what I did, because
I carry big purses, baby, and I sure did. I
opened that purse up and I put that that bag

(50:08):
of shrimp down in my purse. I zip my purse
back up, and I said, I sat and I looked forward,
and so he was like, so, so what you what
you planning on doing?

Speaker 2 (50:26):
Now?

Speaker 3 (50:26):
I'm going home. I'm not sure what you're playing on doing,
but yeah, I'm going home. So he was like, yeah,
can I can?

Speaker 2 (50:34):
I know you know you cannot.

Speaker 3 (50:37):
No, you cannot, No, we cannot and know we are not.
So I got out. So we get to my house,
and so he wanted to sit there and talk. Oh honey,
I'm not trying to talk. I got this whole pound
of shrimp in my purse and I'm trying to get
upstairs to max these bad boys before it.

Speaker 2 (50:55):
Get cold and chill out and have the rest of
my night to myself.

Speaker 3 (50:59):
So yeah, no, I did not offer him any of
the shrimp because first of all, I told you how
much the stuff costs.

Speaker 2 (51:05):
Why would you only go and get twenty dollars? What
was you supposed to do with that twenty dollars? What
was he supposed to do?

Speaker 3 (51:12):
Some people may say, now, Jay, when you saw that
he didn't order, you should have gave him something.

Speaker 2 (51:17):
No, No, I should not have.

Speaker 3 (51:20):
No I shouldn't you should have got enough money, or
don't take me there, do not take me. And I
did not order anything that I would not typically order
because when I go now, I'm gonna be honest, I
typically order like two pounds, sometimes three pounds, because I go,
I share, you know, or I say something for the

(51:40):
next day because I'm like, Okay, this is a far drive.
I I gonna make this worth my while. But I
didn't do that, so I only got one bag, and
I'm like, you should have got your own bag. This
was not your first time that we've been out. And again,
I don't feel like that was a lot, and I
don't feel like I was wrong. But after that, I'm

(52:01):
just like, Okay, you know what this you know this
ain't this ain't really like this ain't working for me.
And that wasn't the only reason that it wasn't working
for me, but that was just like a big sign,
like you know, he's just he was just frugal like that.
But I mean, outside of that though, he was and
I will be honest, he was definitely a good dude.

(52:22):
A good dude for somebody else, not the dude for me,
but he was definitely a good dude. So it's just like, listen,
if you want these women fellas, we don't mind paying
for our own food. We don't mind. But I'm not
paying for no date. That's just me a first date.
If we a first date, I'm not paying for a
first date. I'm just not I am not a first date,

(52:46):
sparkle with Sam, treat her like a lady. Absolutely, And
it's like, if you don't feel like you got a lady,
you gotta ask yourself, why are you talking to her?

Speaker 2 (52:58):
Why are you in attaining her?

Speaker 3 (53:01):
If you don't feel like she's somebody that you are
that's worth you whining and dining and getting to know,
why are you there with her? Why are you entertaining her?
Why are you trying to talk to her? Why are
you in her presence? Why is she in your presence?

(53:21):
If you don't feel that she's worth a first date,
a meal on the first date, you gotta ask yourself that.
So stop, fellas, stop getting mad when you're saying, when
you planning these days and when you're asking these women out,
Oh she won't, she won't, she won't old school values
and stuff like this, but she she knew school and

(53:42):
all this and that Cedrica seeing chivalry is nonexistence to
these non existent, to these young ninjas at listen and oh,
he's gonna say, gotta be your daddy's side because your
mama ain't playing, ain't planning, and listen, apps, listen, you
ain't never lied about that statement. But you're right, but

(54:02):
these old dudes, now, ced, I'm gonna tell you, it's
not only the young dudes. These old dudes, these dudes
that's been paying for dates and listen, y'all been paying
for chicks to rub on it, dry hump you back
in the nineties.

Speaker 2 (54:18):
Y'all been paying.

Speaker 3 (54:19):
Listen, y'all been out there buying them started jackets and all.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
Listen that she dry hunched on you.

Speaker 3 (54:26):
Y'all was juicing up in the basement and for the
red light and all that. You know that, y'all you've
been paying for. Listen, French fries with mild sauce and
dhit rub on you a little bit. Look, don't act
like you ain't been paying for no affection since the nineties.

Speaker 2 (54:42):
Stop it, stop it.

Speaker 3 (54:44):
They y'all just now starting to get a little courage
to start speaking out and saying something because these young people,
like Ceeda just said, because they're saying something.

Speaker 2 (54:55):
Sir, you've been paying for houci since the nineties, So
don't so stop it. Stop it.

Speaker 3 (55:00):
Stop acting like you knew to having to pay for
a date. You know you not stop acting brand new. Okay,
so we not gonna do that. So if you want
the woman to pay for the date. Then again, just
in my opinion, just started expressing and communicating that ish beforehand.

(55:22):
Now speaking of communicating ish beforehand, now listen to this.
You all these stepfathers are getting fed up.

Speaker 2 (55:31):
Ladies.

Speaker 3 (55:31):
Look, we touched upon this last week or a week
before that, one of these, but we talked about it before.
These your disrespectful kids and how they are going to
cost you your marriage or your relationship.

Speaker 2 (55:49):
So now this hot topic goes.

Speaker 3 (55:51):
The lady said, a few months ago, before school started,
her daughter told her husband.

Speaker 2 (55:59):
The daughter told a wife's husband.

Speaker 3 (56:00):
So the daughter told her mom's husband, the stepfather, that
he was not her daddy, which he said, you're right.

Speaker 2 (56:11):
He got his own daughters, and so and the daughters.

Speaker 3 (56:15):
They have a daughter. He has a daughter the same
age as his stepdaughter, and she lives with them full time.
And her daughter, so they each have teenage daughters. So
every since the daughter told her the stepfather that he
was not her father, the husband doesn't do anything for

(56:36):
his stepdaughter like he used to.

Speaker 2 (56:38):
So he used to buy her clothes for school and shoes.

Speaker 3 (56:42):
And things like that, and he used to take her
to school, and now he refuses to do anything for
her daughter, but he does everything still for his biological
daughter and their biological kids together, but he does not
do anything for the stepdaughter, which told him that she's

(57:04):
not his father. So he was like, you know, he
walks past her, like now they don't speak this girl
in the same house.

Speaker 2 (57:12):
She's not speaking to the stepfather or anything.

Speaker 3 (57:15):
So the daughter, the stepdaughter apologized to the husband, but
it wasn't a sincere apology.

Speaker 2 (57:24):
Y'all know how these young folks can get.

Speaker 3 (57:27):
I'm sorry, I apologize if I did something, you know something,
But the husband felt like the apology was not sincere,
and he's still he didn't accept it, and so now
he's like.

Speaker 2 (57:39):
You know, listen, I'm done with her.

Speaker 3 (57:42):
So now the mother is like she is caught in
between because she feels like the husband is going too
far because now the husband won't even give the wife
money to buy or do anything for her daughter, which
again she told his man that he was not her father,

(58:04):
and so he has closed all.

Speaker 2 (58:07):
Channels of the fatherhood vote.

Speaker 3 (58:11):
He has closed that off and now that's even starting
to affect his biological daughter.

Speaker 2 (58:17):
So like now the biological daughter don't really.

Speaker 3 (58:20):
Even talk to the stepdaughter because of the father not
talking to the stepdaughter and her standing in solidarity with
her father, and now the mother. The wife is at
her wits end. She's like, wait a minute. She was like, okay,
you are you taking this thing a little bit too far?

(58:41):
What do you all think? Do you think that the
father is the stepfather is taking it too far because
he has decided to take away all the things that
he was doing for this young lady.

Speaker 2 (58:56):
All the fatherly duties.

Speaker 3 (58:58):
He snatched it up because she put her foot in
her grown mouth and said, you ain't my daddy, and
he was like, you know what, you're right now he's
making her stand on that ish and he's making her
eat that now. Cedric is saying that Ninja, the husband

(59:18):
is bogush. Why is he bogus?

Speaker 2 (59:20):
Cedric?

Speaker 3 (59:21):
What are your so Cedric saying that he's boguish? However,
Sparkle is saying, I smell divorce. Why do you smell divorce?
And why is he bogush? And why do why do
why do you smell divorce? My thing is this, if
you grown enough to step to this man and tell

(59:42):
this man he ain't your father, I don't see nothing
wrong with him giving out a little rough justice. I
really don't, because you gonna learn to respect me, first
of all, not even at as a father or stepfather,
but as.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
A man and as the man in his house. You're
going to respect me.

Speaker 3 (01:00:06):
So if I'm not your daddy, listen, that's why I'm
like I always said to myself, I probably would not
make a good step mother back because let a little
kid tell me, or Tina, you ain't my mama your dog,
all right, ain't your mama because your mama trifling, your
grandmama trifling. You gotta be trifling just like And see
dear my husband sitting up and looking like, see, come on, baby, now,

(01:00:30):
look you gonna have to draw. But I'm like, you
know what, Listen, these young people gotta understand, like they
used to tell us back in the day, you better
stay where in a kid's place. These people today don't
know where that is, and sometimes it take a little
rough justice to redirect them back to that place.

Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
You gotta know, it's a time in a place for everything.

Speaker 3 (01:01:00):
Sparkle said, it will seep into the mother and the
father's marital relationship, that it definitely will. Sparkle is also
saying maybe counseling may help. Also, that's definitely a good point.
Definitely counseling, but also you know what the mother checking
that type of behavior, Cedric said, the moment he took

(01:01:21):
those vows, that's the minute she became his daughter and
not his stepdaughter.

Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
And I can agree with you there, Cedric. However, speaking from.

Speaker 3 (01:01:33):
A disrespectful stepchild standpoint, listen, I was this smart mouth child.
I don't recall ever telling my stepdad that he was
not my father, but let me just say this, there
was some interesting exchange of words and energy throughout that

(01:01:55):
household at several points, and at several times, so much
so that, you know, some days we came home and
we didn't have he took the toilet out the bathroom,
you know, and set it in the tub for a
couple of days, so we had to go.

Speaker 2 (01:02:13):
Next door to auntie uncle house use the bathroom. Petty.
So he was and I so I understand the petty.

Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
We had our door taking off the room because he said,
don't close the door.

Speaker 2 (01:02:25):
What we do we close the door anyway we come
home from school, ain't no doors in the house.

Speaker 3 (01:02:30):
So I understand the standpoint of being that disrespectful child
or being that disrespectful teenager and living with some living
with a man that is not biologically your father, And
so I understand that, and I get that, but I'm

(01:02:50):
thankful that we got a chance to see what see
his selfless act before he passed the rip to him,
you know, but we got to really appreciate what it
is that he did for us because he did not
have to do it. And when I tell you, this
man was the king of Petty, he was the king

(01:03:14):
of Petty. So I feel like this man, this father
and his story, he's also being petty because you know why,
if you can.

Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
Disrespect me that much, then why do by me not
being your father.

Speaker 3 (01:03:30):
As you said out of your teenage mouth, because I'm
sure she said it with a chest, then why should
this man buy you things?

Speaker 2 (01:03:39):
Why should he make things easy.

Speaker 3 (01:03:40):
For you because you just had the nerve to disrespect
him like that. Now, I will say this my sister
Leanna saying maybe some respect would help. Absolutely, And I
definitely think this Cedric saying that's a two way street.
Though I totally agree with it being a two way street,
and I totally agree that it will seep into the marriage.

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
And I think that it will definitely do that.

Speaker 3 (01:04:06):
And I like what Sparkle said, maybe counseling would be
a great place to start because there's clearly a disconnect there.
There's clearly a disconnect. And I would say I will
be the first to say that being in a blended
household is not an easy thing for anybody, for the kids,

(01:04:29):
for the parents. So I think that everybody, like you know,
sometimes we think that we can just go the adults
or we loving on each other, so we gonna come
in and did everybody is just gonna fall into place,
And you know, ideally we would like for that to
be the case, but that's not always the case. You know,
we do have some situations where you know, listen, it's

(01:04:53):
a little friction, Like yeah, that transition between you know,
us being one happy family. You know, we're gonna have
to take some bumps and some bruises and listen, it's
gonna be some ish that you know, we're gonna have
to go through before we get to that happily ever after,
if we ever get to that happily ever after. But

(01:05:14):
do I think, I mean, it's extreme, but I'm like,
am I gonna say that? Like I'm a thousand percent mad.

Speaker 2 (01:05:21):
At him for feeling like that. No I'm not.

Speaker 3 (01:05:24):
I'm like, I feel like that's some hurtful stuff. He
has a right to be hurtful.

Speaker 2 (01:05:29):
He has a right to be hurt.

Speaker 3 (01:05:30):
He has a right to be upset, he has a
right to be disappointed.

Speaker 2 (01:05:35):
Now, what I think.

Speaker 3 (01:05:38):
Outside of the counseling, what I think that could kind of,
you know, calm this down, and what I think that
can kind of, you know, change the trajectory of that
stepfather's relationship with that young lady.

Speaker 2 (01:05:53):
And this is not an easy Listen.

Speaker 3 (01:05:56):
The young lady is going to have to drink a
tall cup and I do mean to talk up, have
a tall serving of humble pods. She's going to have
to humble herself and go to humble herself and go
to this man and apologize to this man, sincerely apologize

(01:06:20):
to him. Not give him no no half, no cheesy
apology apology. She's going to have to really apologize, not
the apology coming from her mama. If she want to
get back in this man's good graces, then she's going
to have to do the legwork, just like you said
it with your chest, to get out your body and

(01:06:42):
disrespect this man. You're gonna have to come back and
you're gonna have to humble yourself and you're gonna have
to apologize to him. You're gonna have to do what
you have to do to get back in his good graces.
It may be something like, you know, men cooking him breakfast,
doing something to try to bond with him, to regain

(01:07:03):
his respect. Because you said that to him, he's lost
respect for you. He's lost like now to you. To him,
you're just any type. You're a stranger on the street
to him at this point because you just told him
what should not. He's not your dad, and anybody. A
lot of people, a lot of kids know that that

(01:07:24):
is the dagger to a person's heart. Not that he
may not necessarily have been trying to be your father.
But we listen, trust me, when you are an unfamiliar spirit.
We know how to say things to get a rise
out of people. We know how to cut the juggular.
Nobody had to show her how to cut it. We

(01:07:46):
know where it is when when you listen, when you
just when you're not right, and when you one of
them special children that got you know, listen, when you
got Charles Lee Ray's spirit in when you you're a
walking Chucky Doll or a walking Jason or Michael Meyer's spirit,

(01:08:07):
it's already in you. So don't nobody gotta tell you
or teach you nothing. You know how to shut this
man down. So you shut him down and you put
him in that mode. Now you have to go and
you and that's me. Y'all may be saying Jay that nah, Now, Jay,
that's too much. Now he's grown. He's supposed to do.

(01:08:29):
You know, he's the appearing, he's the adult. He got
to suck that up, and he's supposed to just let
us say what she want to say, and then he
just got to keep on taking care of her.

Speaker 2 (01:08:41):
It won't be me.

Speaker 3 (01:08:41):
I'm just gonna tell you. Cedric is saying, did he
throw that ish in her face? If he din his
biological daughter, definitely did. And even if that was so,
if the biological daughter did, or if he did throw
that in her face, then definitely you know, I can
see where that will come up at.

Speaker 2 (01:09:01):
But Cedric, sometimes we listened.

Speaker 3 (01:09:03):
Look, these people are born with a six six six
on the back of their heads, So ain't nobody got
to have.

Speaker 2 (01:09:09):
Done nothing to her? These new people. They just come
that way, They just brought into this world and they
just they have listen. They feel like they if I
think it, I can say it. I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:09:22):
There's no filter for a lot of these people, new people.
Not only is there no filter, but there's a lack
of respect. A lot of disrespectful things are said, and
then everybody don't have to accept that your bad mouth
and your bad disrespectful disposition. Everybody don't have to accept that.

(01:09:48):
And everybody is not going to accept that. So the
mother could be coddling it up, could be you know,
she's just going through a lot and that made rifle.
That may be very we be the case, but what
you're going through does not justify your bad behavior. It

(01:10:09):
does not justify your being disrespectful. So we gotta kind
of again tighten that up. But again I think that
introducing and having a solid boundary and having that game
plan like blended families, I think for me, right off

(01:10:29):
the top, we should already be talking counseling and therapy.
We should already be having that a part of our
program because it's.

Speaker 2 (01:10:37):
Going to be a journey.

Speaker 3 (01:10:39):
It's going to be a journey when you are mixing
because you're mixing all these different personalities, especially when you
got these teenagers. Baby, these people are something else. These
people are something entirely else. And then if you dealing
with a dude that is entirely something else. So there's

(01:11:00):
so many different dynamics to consider in situations like this
and in step here and situations like this. So it's
always helpful in my opinion, to definitely have an outside
bias person but already had that therapy.

Speaker 2 (01:11:18):
You know, have somebody on speed down. And especially I
would say this, if.

Speaker 3 (01:11:25):
There has been some trauma in previous relationships on either side,
you should already be in counseling already. You should already
be there, should already be some type of therapy you know,
in the works already, because not only listen, are you
bringing your baggage, like what all your experiences, But then

(01:11:49):
if you mount those traumatic experiences and both people are
coming from coming from trauma, and then we marry that trauma, woo,
that's a lot my trauma and his trauma and then
the kids trauma. Like, that's a lot going on in

(01:12:11):
one space. And god forbid, if nobody there's no communication,
nobody knows how to communicate because communicating is hard.

Speaker 2 (01:12:20):
We all want to get our point across. We all
want to be heard.

Speaker 3 (01:12:24):
But we don't want to hear. I'm gonna say that
we all want to be heard, but we don't want
to hear. We all gotta just blurt out what we feel,
what we feel, what we feel, we want. We gotta
blurt it out and get our point across, but nobody else.
But we don't want to listen to anybody else. Pretty
Tasha is saying exactly says we gotta have that on

(01:12:47):
speed down. And a lot of times we like to
think that, you know, we're okay, we' done been through
all these traumatic experiences and so now we're okay. No,
you've just swept your issues under the rug, or you
tuck them away in the closet.

Speaker 2 (01:13:05):
But when you get with somebody and you get serious
and that close and countering.

Speaker 3 (01:13:10):
Now the stuff that's in the closet, it's gonna get
too it's gonna be too much to stay in there,
and guess what, it's just gonna start seeping through the door,
and eventually it's gonna push that whole door from that
closet down, and then all of that issues just gonna
rush out and you're gonna be like, whoa, that's because

(01:13:31):
it was never addressed. So I would say, like, let's
just start trying to address these things, even if you're
not in a relationship, even if you're not married, start
working on yourself and preparing yourself, because that could be
a reason why you're not meeting anybody because of all
of the vibes and the energy that you know, you

(01:13:53):
don't know what type of energy you're putting off. So
I mean, I think that you know it's okay to
talk to somebody, Now, will it always work? No?

Speaker 2 (01:14:02):
Because you know what, a lot of us not gonna
be honest, because we don't.

Speaker 3 (01:14:06):
Feel like nobody needs to know our business anyway, and
we don't feel like I'm not gonna tell them this
ain't gonna work no way. So we go up in
there already with our defenses up, and yeah, we're just
not trying to do the work. Cedric is saying, I've
lived that situation firsthand. Sorry, but a divorce is on
the wall. So what was the situation? Was the kids

(01:14:28):
being disrespectful?

Speaker 2 (01:14:29):
Cedric? And again, like it's for me.

Speaker 3 (01:14:32):
I don't take step fathers or step parenting for that matter,
I don't take it lightly at all, because it's a selfless,
often under rewarded act. To be able to take on
somebody else's child and love them, but not only love them,
but loved them as your own. That's some second to

(01:14:55):
none ish. But I've seen it done. I've seen it done.
I see so many examples of it in my family.
I've seen so many examples of it from friends.

Speaker 2 (01:15:05):
And people that I know. Like, so, I know that
there are people out here.

Speaker 3 (01:15:11):
Selflessly loving kids that are not biologically theirs, and they
don't slap a step title on it.

Speaker 2 (01:15:19):
They call them they kids. So it's just like, you know,
it all boils.

Speaker 3 (01:15:24):
Down to the individual, the individual adults and then the
individual kids. But if you're bringing kids into a marriage
or into a situation, parents, talk to your kids, like
talk to your kids and kind of like prep them
up because a lot of times we get in you know,

(01:15:45):
just because we love them, don't me and.

Speaker 2 (01:15:48):
Your kids don't love them, they may not even like them.

Speaker 3 (01:15:51):
So it's like and then you forcing these people down
your kids' throats without even having some type of conversation.
It's like, man, I think that that would be a
great step also to like, let's talk to them.

Speaker 2 (01:16:06):
But like I said, a lot of.

Speaker 3 (01:16:07):
Times when you in when you dealing with that teenage stage, whoo,
that's a whole different exorcism right there. So you got
the teenage phase and then you got them being the
stepfather's that listen, that's some iss to be reckon with.
Sparkle was saying she might just be projected, especially if

(01:16:31):
her real father hasn't been there for her. That's definitely
a good point. But like you said, counseling may definitely
be helpful. But again, you mothers, you cannot enable your
kids to be disrespectful, and if vice versa, if it's
the father, then you know the step the step parent,

(01:16:52):
you know you cannot enable this bad behavior. But then
I will also take it a step further and say,
and I've said this before, if you know that you
are not a person that can love somebody else's child,
don't get in that relationship. Like I'm so serious, don't

(01:17:14):
go forward in those type of relationships. Because now here's
where I'm gonna snatch back all of what I said
and how I defended, and I was on the side
of the father, because if your real daughter said something
slick to you, Would you react the same way that

(01:17:34):
you've reacted with your stepdaughter?

Speaker 2 (01:17:37):
Would you react the same way?

Speaker 3 (01:17:39):
So my thing would be, treat your stepdaughter or bonus,
whatever you choose to call her, but treat her like
you would treat your.

Speaker 2 (01:17:49):
A biological child. And if you would give you a
biological child.

Speaker 3 (01:17:52):
The business like you gave this young lady, then I
don't have no problem with what you're doing. But if
you're gonna separate the type of treatment because she's your
stepdaughter versus your biological daughter, then you know, I would
question how deep are you and how serious were you
about being playing that father role in this young lady's life?

(01:18:16):
And then I would also take it a step further.
If the mother is hindering you from being a father
to her daughter, you're limited in how you can discipline,
you're limited in certain things, then I'm I would I
would definitely say that's a that's a reason to that's
a reason to fall back, because I'm not about to

(01:18:38):
wrestle with you on being a parent and then go
toe to toe and head to here with your child
that somebody that I'm spending all my heart, I'm earn
money on and they're being disrespectful.

Speaker 2 (01:18:52):
I'm not gonna be able to do it. I'm not
gonna be able to do it. So we're gonna have
to come to some common ground.

Speaker 3 (01:18:59):
But I think the common ground in this situation, and
again they may not like it, but it gotta start
with that child humbling themselves. You gotta humble yourself. Is
this man's house, this yo, mama house. This is an adult.
You cannot talk to an adult any old type of way,
whether you like it or not, whether you like them

(01:19:21):
or not, as long as they are not physically hurting you,
mentally hurting you, or emotionally hurting you, or doing something
to you not liking them, it's not a requirement and
it's not grounds for you to say whatever you want
to say just because you don't like them. If they're
not hurting you, neglecting you, abusing you in any type

(01:19:44):
of way, you don't have a right to speak to
an adult like that.

Speaker 2 (01:19:49):
I'm not sorry, but you don't. You have to stay
in a child's place. And what you can do.

Speaker 3 (01:19:57):
Is pray that you hurry up and get eighteen, or
hurry up and do real good in high school. So
that you can make a double and get out of
high school real quick, so you can go to college
and get out of that man's house. But as long
as you are in that man's house, you owe that
man and your mother some respect.

Speaker 2 (01:20:15):
Now, I can't listen you talking.

Speaker 3 (01:20:18):
To somebody that created a little house of horror's situation
growing up. So so I'm talking from the standpoint in
the shoes somewhat of the fifteen year old disrespectful daughter. Listen,
I created a little house of horror, you know, so
I listen.

Speaker 2 (01:20:39):
I was the ring leader. Okay, so I know what
I'm talking about on both sides of the spectrum.

Speaker 3 (01:20:47):
So again, you can't just sit up in these folks
house like this and think you're gonna talk out the
side of your neck and think that there are not
gonna be any consequences, because guess what, in the real world,
when you talking outside of your neck, you're gonna get
put on your neck. You're gonna get there are some
consequences for your mouth. So you need to control it. Now,

(01:21:08):
Cedric says, exactly, My father tried to put try to
put his second mother off on his after my mama passed.
Long story short, she talked ish about my mom and
came sideways at me. I put that chick in her
place west side style, not physically, but definitely verbally.

Speaker 2 (01:21:28):
And I get that.

Speaker 3 (01:21:29):
And like I said, and that being an exception, like
you like the adult introduced the disrespect. So it's like,
of course you're gonna defend who would not defend their
mother's honor. But if you're just and if you're a
kid in a situation and you just talking crazy just
because you don't like this person and they're not doing

(01:21:51):
anything to you again to harm you physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally,
any of that, you just.

Speaker 2 (01:21:58):
Don't like them because they with your mom. You just
don't like him because that's with your daddy.

Speaker 3 (01:22:02):
Whoever, whatever the case is, you cannot be talking sideways
to these people and then think that you still gonna
get treated and be able to eat they food and
drink they stuff and all of this other ish. Now listen,
speaking of other ish, listen, y'all. The church has spoke out.

(01:22:23):
Okay Gospel singer Kierra sheard, yes, they listen to church.
The church is jumping on her because she said she
does not allow her friends to stay at her house
with her husband.

Speaker 2 (01:22:44):
So the church, they upset y'all.

Speaker 3 (01:22:47):
They upset y'all to upset the mother's board because Kiera sheared,
that's out. Karen Clark, Sheard's daughter, said that she does
not allow her friends to stay at her house with
her husband.

Speaker 2 (01:23:02):
Amen.

Speaker 3 (01:23:03):
So I don't understand, though, y'all gotta help me understand.
Why are they mad at her? Because I don't see
anything that she said or did that was wrong. Who
won't listen? I love you, but you're not staying around
my man. You go get you your own You not standing.

(01:23:25):
You are not about to cousin ebony me. Okay, you
are not about to cousin ebony me from off players Club.
You not about to cousin faith me from all soul food.
If y'all don't know what I'm talking about, go look
those movies up. But you are not about to cousin
ebony or cousin faith me with my man.

Speaker 2 (01:23:47):
So no, you not staying with me? And listen, you are.

Speaker 3 (01:23:51):
I am generous about, you know, finding somebody somewhere to
stay and all this other good ish. That's because I
got my own space, of my own domain. But once
there is another pair of shoes uh, no, ma'am, no, ma'am, no, ham.

Speaker 2 (01:24:10):
How can we help you? How can listen? What do
I do? You need a room?

Speaker 3 (01:24:15):
You need an airbnb? What we what do we need
to do to get you straight? But you won't be
getting straight over here, around my around my, around my
schlung dog. You will not be getting straight over here.
And that's just how it's gonna be. Why and my
thing is this, why would you want to go and

(01:24:36):
stay with her husband over listen? And I don't know
if if Kieru was off on tour somewhere and the
friend came and she wasn't there, I'm not going to
your house if you're not there.

Speaker 2 (01:24:49):
I'm not coming to visit. If you ain't there, I
will wait.

Speaker 3 (01:24:53):
In the car, or I will go find me some
coffee to drink, and you let me know when you
get home so I can meet you that. And my
thing is this, I'm so funny with it that I'm
gonna make sure you at home first. I'm never gonna
arrive to your house first and you're you're not there
for me. It's all about respect. So I don't see

(01:25:16):
anything wrong with why, you know with her saying that?
So Church we gotta ease up off of Kira Shard
on this one, because listen, this is how the deacon
and this is how the deacon got caught up with
the sister from the Sunday school teacher. Because you let
the Sunday school teacher in your house with the deacon
and you wasn't at home. It's okay for you to

(01:25:38):
say no, she cannot come up in here. I love you,
but girl, don't go on my house.

Speaker 2 (01:25:45):
I'll play that. I don't play that.

Speaker 3 (01:25:47):
We can laugh and schnitch nishnook and sniggling, giggle all
up in here, but don't go on my house. See,
that's why the deacon got aside baby by the quiet director.
Because y'all letting everybody in your house. It's good for you, Kiera.
Keep them hussies out of your house, keep them strifling
chicks out of your house. And plus, guess what, she

(01:26:10):
know her friends. She know her friends have not been
delivered from the spirit of Hortem. She know, listen, she
know her friends still got the spirit of Hordem going
on through them. You listen, you ain't got to be
ashamed to say nothing. You know your friends got the
spirit of Hordem. So you did write for not letting

(01:26:33):
them hussies up in your house. And I don't care
which mother from the mother. Listen, let her make she
adjust a wig, and she gonna have to be okay,
cause you know what, in the back of her mind
she gonna be saying, you know what though she right though,
because if I had lessenister Irene in there, you know,
little Delaware wouldn't be, you know, my stepdaughter that don't

(01:26:55):
nobody know about. So listen, Kiera, stand to your because
you do not seen plenty of affairs. Listen, she she
do not seen plenty of marriages being tore up about
a quiet director and the Sunday school teachers and all that.

Speaker 2 (01:27:09):
So do not let your man be around it less
I like it.

Speaker 3 (01:27:14):
Cedric, these jazabels, these trifling jazabels, he said it jazz.
And that's what we said. We're not gonna call them jezebel.
We gonna call them jazzabells. Like Cedric said, you're not
gonna have these trifling jazzabels around my schlong dong in
that order.

Speaker 2 (01:27:33):
We're not gonna do it. Segah.

Speaker 3 (01:27:35):
He's also said they from Detroit, so you already know
she was hip to the gain to absolutely stay out
these folks house. If you ain't. If I'm not there,
you not there. And that's just how it's gonna be.
That it's not that I don't trust you, I just
don't trust your horrors. Ways, guys, listen, we're gonna take
a short musical break and when we return, we're getting

(01:27:56):
into our hot topic tonight, guys, friends with benefits? Is
it really beneficial? You're listening to the j spot where
we are strengthening relationships at them one conversation.

Speaker 5 (01:28:10):
And has always been needsy because you. I wouldn't believe.

Speaker 4 (01:28:24):
Believe if someone would have told me you loved.

Speaker 5 (01:28:30):
Me mysel because I was don't love my heart and
Hong Kong. So you exactly what I need is you're
talking in my life and place the.

Speaker 10 (01:28:44):
Joy when I was need I don't know about what
the beautiful, but that don't God.

Speaker 5 (01:28:53):
Said, he.

Speaker 8 (01:29:01):
Said, she.

Speaker 5 (01:29:04):
You see it.

Speaker 10 (01:29:10):
Coming you has always been needs the couse, your beautiful.

Speaker 5 (01:29:18):
Coming you has always been wonderful more than you'releven. We
got the camera sees the camel together like love sets.
Some passion didn't come show on another tops as the.

Speaker 6 (01:29:33):
Feelings are happy, like filming so long we shout together.

Speaker 5 (01:29:39):
Baby, the bone is so strong.

Speaker 2 (01:29:41):
It's not beside or the feel for you, but that,
Oh God.

Speaker 3 (01:29:46):
I got a lot for you.

Speaker 8 (01:29:49):
See it said, see it.

Speaker 10 (01:30:04):
Said, has always been easy because your beautiful.

Speaker 5 (01:30:32):
It's one I see.

Speaker 3 (01:30:39):
Welcome back to the J Spot, where we are strengthening
relationships and families, one conversation at a time.

Speaker 2 (01:30:48):
Guys, I want to thank you all so much for
tuning in. Please do me a favor.

Speaker 3 (01:30:52):
Go to our page and like our page at the
J Spot, follow us on Twitter at j spot. Also
follow us on Instagram at the J Spot and Jay
Spelder Jay ay, why.

Speaker 2 (01:31:06):
For all three listen.

Speaker 3 (01:31:08):
Now while you're at it, just go right on round
a corner, go to our YouTube channel, like and subscribe
our channel there that's the J spot Radio, and then
go to TikTok and like and follow us there at
the J Spot. JA y e, But guys, listen, I
want to definitely stress you all going to our YouTube channel.

(01:31:29):
We are striving to get our thousand subscribers, so go
ahead help us run those numbers up.

Speaker 2 (01:31:35):
Listen, it's more than enough.

Speaker 3 (01:31:36):
Of y'all to go on over there before we get off,
it's enough of y'all to run it up, so we
can go ahead on and get our thousand subscribers. Because again,
you go there, you're gonna see that there is only
there's certain stuff there that I have not posted, and
we'll not post to Facebook. So I want you all
to go to YouTube like and subscribe our channel. There, guys, listen,

(01:31:57):
it's just me, but sitting next to.

Speaker 4 (01:32:00):
Me, we have Esthetician.

Speaker 2 (01:32:05):
Champer, mother of a group of cool dudes, and a
little lady you doing, lady lotus.

Speaker 3 (01:32:12):
I'm trying to get my voice back.

Speaker 2 (01:32:14):
What happened to your voice? Don't ask me?

Speaker 3 (01:32:17):
I need some sleep or something, but that joke of
it all week like should be quiet.

Speaker 2 (01:32:23):
Oh I hope that don't happen, you know, oh child,
because I be needing.

Speaker 3 (01:32:28):
It and I don't know how to shut up. So
y'all got to deal with the real rasp. You know what, Listen,
there's nothing wrong with you know, sounding like Verry White.
You know it's you couldn't say like Lauren Hill or somebody.
Why you had to say Verry White? Laura Hill, she
has a very Baxby voice. She's the reason why I
fell in love with my voice. Well, I think that
I sound like Verry White and Freddy Jackson. I'd be like,

(01:32:50):
you know, I like more like a Freddy Jackson sound
to me. That's what I kind of like to mimic
or sometimes Olgreen.

Speaker 2 (01:32:57):
But you know, every now and then I get very
and you know, i'd be like, oh.

Speaker 3 (01:33:01):
Yeah, no, no, no, that's the early morning boys. That's
when we first wake up in the morning.

Speaker 2 (01:33:07):
And we have very. But see, I like that. That's
that's I want to sound just like he sound on
Secret Gun or yeah that or James Ingram. See that's
how I want to see.

Speaker 3 (01:33:17):
That's how I imagine I sound. You know when I'm
sounding on the Yeah, I want that that bear or
the guy off of that they're trying to erase from
our memory from boys to me and you know, the
member of boys to me at the base that.

Speaker 2 (01:33:31):
You know, don't nobody want to talk about. I can't
even think of his name.

Speaker 3 (01:33:34):
I think Mike, yeah, like yes, oh listen, somebody play
that ooh ah injection fellas.

Speaker 2 (01:33:42):
Your little friend.

Speaker 3 (01:33:43):
Yeah, see you know that your girl, your little friend
is a nineties baby. See That's what I'm saying. That's
why we got pregnant. It ain't no listen, I'm telling
y'all something. It ain't no excuse for these girls today,
these young girls to be getting pregnant today because it
ain't no music out here, but it is because the
music gets telling them to get it.

Speaker 2 (01:34:01):
And how you want to give it. I don't even
want to. They just getting it. It's nasty, But that
don't even make you hot. Baby. You go listen to oh.

Speaker 3 (01:34:15):
Or or or Jodasy, Stay and Good and by the Rock,
and you know what I'm saying, you like, wait, talk, hello.

Speaker 4 (01:34:25):
Hello, love.

Speaker 2 (01:34:26):
So how y'all got all.

Speaker 3 (01:34:27):
These nineties babies? Because all these nineties people and now
they out here, see the subliminal message in our music
was to make babies. The subliminal messages in their music.
With a friend with benefit, uh hey, I said that.
He said, it's okay, sweetie. I love T Bob's voice

(01:34:49):
growing up.

Speaker 2 (01:34:49):
Hey, but that was that was way deeper than T Bobs.
I'm okay.

Speaker 3 (01:34:53):
So you're riding on me like, no, I'm just I
got my candy voice on Dan?

Speaker 2 (01:34:57):
How about that I can do? I got my candy
voice on you got it?

Speaker 3 (01:34:59):
You it?

Speaker 2 (01:35:00):
Sparkle is saying are we talking about single women? I
wouldn't won't marry or single either.

Speaker 3 (01:35:05):
Listen, Kay, none of them come to my house, Sparkle,
none of them can't come to my house. And then
she's saying adult slumber party girls, l O L Listen,
I'm there for now. She also said, listen, Michael is Yep,
that's the missing person that they done tried to make
us forget that. He was a part of the group
boys to me and that's who they tried to you know,

(01:35:26):
x on out. But that's another story. But you know
his voice was very yeah, and that's you know, I
like the eye Spider sound like him as well. But listen,
speaking of aspirations, is friends with benefits?

Speaker 2 (01:35:43):
Is it worth it? We are living in a day
in time where you know what, Listen, nothing matters, nothing,
Matt like having.

Speaker 3 (01:35:57):
A committed relationship, be just with one person, monogamy, just
having somebody love on you and you love on them.
It's seeming like that is gone right out the window.
It's gone out the window, just like unpadded brawls and
good panties.

Speaker 2 (01:36:17):
Those things are just gold. You know, listen, you know
I'm telling the truth.

Speaker 3 (01:36:23):
You know it's hard to find a good brawl that
ain't got all them pads in it, that don't have
all those wires in it. And if y'all can find listen,
and I'm not talking about the ones that make you
look like you got the el Vi with that tharstick
or the ones that look like a corner man going
back to the old school Grandma Bras. I just want

(01:36:46):
just a nice one that's gonna keep everything in place.
And you know, I ain't got to worry about you know,
but you have them right, you know, unless I'm going
for that look.

Speaker 2 (01:36:57):
So you know, we're gonna take it back to those.

Speaker 3 (01:37:00):
So that's where I'm coming from tonight. But that's you know,
that's all gone out the door, just like the monogamy
portion of relationships for a lot of people. So with
that being said, listen, we signing up. People sign up
just for anything, like you just falling for anything.

Speaker 2 (01:37:22):
And it's okay. And I'm not saying listen, some.

Speaker 3 (01:37:25):
Of these back in the day, they were the biggest
cheaters ever, biggest cheater is ever.

Speaker 2 (01:37:34):
But they were smooth with smooth, smoothing dum.

Speaker 3 (01:37:40):
And you know what, back then, there were some benefits
me and missus Jones got a thing going.

Speaker 2 (01:37:48):
He was taking care of missus Jones over there, and
he still took care home, still took her home.

Speaker 3 (01:37:55):
Miss Jones wasn't trying to come on over here and
and be over mister Willie's wife. She wasn't trying to
do that because she had two of mister Willie kids
over there. But mister Willie will take care Missus Jones
and them kids. That answers a long, long lasting question
of why the marriages don't last, because back then grandma's

(01:38:18):
didn't care as long as you about that check home
and Grandma day, see today, I don't care about your check.
You're not gonna do this. We're not gonna be together. Hey,
you can't see your kids no more. But see Grandma, now,
say do what you want to do. As long as
you don't let her come over here. As long as
that check keep coming up in here and you respect

(01:38:40):
me and minds, you can do what you want to do.
Because Grandma told me long get that man bringing that
check com baby, you let him do what he gonna
do out in them streets. I said, yes, ma'am, and see,
and then I turned into a nineties baby and I said, no, ma'am, and.

Speaker 2 (01:38:57):
This is true.

Speaker 3 (01:38:58):
So I'm like, listen, you have to choose, sir, which
side of the fence that you're gonna be on. But
I brought that up to say that this friends with
benefits it was always in existence. We just have these
different titles. They went from being mistresses to sad chicks.
The now you're friends would benefit. It's all the other woman,

(01:39:19):
the other man. It's all the same. You somebody's little secret.
That's just the bottom line. You are somebody else's you.
Something extra. You know that there's a relationship already intact
over here, but you're agreeing to be the something else
on the side that they are doing. But with that

(01:39:41):
in today's society, I think yesterday they were fine with
being playing their part. They're still fine with it today.
You know, I used to think that, but it's too
many of them trying to blow up the spot. But
let me just let everybody know if we don't know
what a friend with benefit is. According to an online source,

(01:40:03):
a friend with benefits is a person that you have
a sex a sexual because I don't want to get
cut out relationship without being emotionally involved, A casual no
strings attached relationship, just the horizontal mumbo, no emotional commitment,

(01:40:28):
Get in, get off, get out.

Speaker 2 (01:40:33):
Before she even get her baby out, you gone, you
know what I'm saying. So you got stroked and you know,
don't care about what she got going on, but you
get in, get out.

Speaker 3 (01:40:44):
And my thing is this, If that's okay, and we're saying,
we're making this agreement, that's what we are, that's what
we are to each other, and that's what we're doing.
But how do we remain there? How do we ensure
that what we're starting off at, because see, it.

Speaker 2 (01:41:06):
All sounds good in the beginning, it all sounds good.
You know, you're gonna be my little thing over here
to do.

Speaker 3 (01:41:14):
And sometimes now even in today's society, one may not
even be in a relationship to now become you know,
these newer people they don't even have to be in
other relationships to consider you a friend with benefits. No,
I don't think you have to be in a relationship
to be a friend.

Speaker 2 (01:41:32):
So these newer people. So see, now here's there's another extension.

Speaker 12 (01:41:36):
There's another branch off to that, you know, to that
term now because again it's evolved, because at first it
was just the person that if they were in a relationship.

Speaker 3 (01:41:47):
I don't think friends with benefits has anything to do
with I was in a relationship, because that's a side piece.
That's the cheating A friend with a benefit to me
is I'm not looking to be in a relationship right now.
I'm not looking for something serious, but I need somebody
to scratch that itch. This is temporary, This is not permanent.

(01:42:10):
Don't kiss me on my mouth, don't come over here
before seven o'clock. You come after dinner. We meet up
after dinner. This may not necessarily be we going to
the hotel motel all day in, but we only see
each other between sundown and before sun. Uh yeah, you
know your rolling your purpose and this is temporary. This

(01:42:33):
ain't permanent. I couldn't be using this friend with benefit
to get the soul tie off of the previous relationship.
I could just feel like I don't want to be
in a relationship, so I got a couple of friends
with benefits. This friend will benefit take me out to
really nice restaurants and feed me. This will come pick

(01:42:56):
me up and work and drive me off. And he stayed,
but he gotta be gone. You know that's that's what
I look at friends with benefits. I don't look at
it like I'm in a relationship with somebody else that's
just cheating.

Speaker 2 (01:43:06):
And see Centric is saying no labels or titles. And
here's the thing.

Speaker 3 (01:43:14):
That's all fine and daddy, Why you're doing a horizontal
mumbo and everything.

Speaker 2 (01:43:19):
It's all fine and daddy. But here's the deal.

Speaker 3 (01:43:22):
What happens when somebody mess around and forgot their role.
See now, cecc Now you done forgot your role. Now
they're popping up at your job. They constantly calling your phone.

Speaker 2 (01:43:37):
But you said Thursday through Sunday, that's your day. That's when.
But they don't forgot.

Speaker 3 (01:43:43):
You can't be here no more. Now you can't be
the friend with benefits.

Speaker 2 (01:43:46):
You find them fight out in your in the attic
of your house, and you wonder what's going on up.
That's so all of this, But is the friend would benefit?
Is it worth it? At that point they start destroying
your property.

Speaker 3 (01:44:04):
They're not ready for the friend with benefits situation to
end because now they want more. Because again somebody that
I'm messed around and forget, and somebody messed around in
cop feelings, somebody that I messed around and forgot they roll.

Speaker 2 (01:44:20):
Now they in two D. This is the friend with benefits?
Is it worth all of that?

Speaker 3 (01:44:30):
Because let's be honest, in an ideal world, this friend
would benefit will work out perfectly, and an ideal world,
if everybody just stayed with the program.

Speaker 2 (01:44:44):
We have talked about this, we have defined what show
rolls is. But we all know that the moment you
put that good.

Speaker 3 (01:44:51):
Schlong dong down, some of you all just knocked the
understanding out of these chicks. And it be your fault
because some of us could just put that good in
your nu and then listen, some of these women, they
gonna suck your understanding out of you.

Speaker 2 (01:45:10):
And so now here you are. So now is the
friend with benefits really worth it?

Speaker 3 (01:45:17):
We need to really talk about y'all talking about on
you got don't get involved and listen, I got some story.

Speaker 2 (01:45:25):
Wait, so we talked. Here's a few rules that. Here's
a few rules that y'all like to say.

Speaker 3 (01:45:30):
But I'm gonna tell you where that's gonna go wrong
at They like to say, don't go on dates with
your friend with benefit. Okay, got that, don't get too
clingy for their attention. Got that, don't get jealous. This
means you cannot get mad when they you see them
with somebody else that you got that, don't stay in
touch too often. Got that, don't expect it to turn

(01:45:50):
into a relationship. Don't fall in love. That's that we
got that, Okay. But see they didn't add a what
not to do to make these people go there. See
you cannot like that, lady saying you cannot knocket from
the bottom.

Speaker 2 (01:46:09):
And did think.

Speaker 3 (01:46:13):
You cannot stand on your tip toes and put that
arch in your You can't do that, That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (01:46:19):
That's for your wife. You can't hit what was what?

Speaker 3 (01:46:23):
You can't hit him with the You can't make him
do that. That's her husband's stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:46:29):
You cannot make his toes curl. You cannot. You cannot
be sucking his children.

Speaker 3 (01:46:37):
Shouldn't even make them on a cigarette. It shouldn't even
be who I need to smoke a cigarette right now?

Speaker 2 (01:46:42):
It shouldn't be a blunt.

Speaker 3 (01:46:43):
This should be a guinea jump in, jump jump in
and jump out. Pretty Tasha is saying, I'm not into
the friends with benefits, but to each us all I'm
telling you stay out of it, Pretty Tasha.

Speaker 2 (01:46:56):
Uh Cedric said the bilingual talk.

Speaker 3 (01:46:59):
I'm not.

Speaker 2 (01:47:02):
Such no writing your name on it, Jane, tell I
hope I'm pronouncing your name right.

Speaker 3 (01:47:08):
I don't think one women do well with friends with
benefits because we we as women connect the horizontal mumbo
would love. I totally agree on which I'm just gonna say.
It's certain periods and times in our lives as a
woman when we can. But it's temporary. It is not

(01:47:31):
permanent because if you it's rules to friends would benefits
now for now, for no, it's rules to how you
go get you one. You gotta understand what your level
of what your husband material is. So what's not your
husband material, I'm gonna put you out. In my business,
I messed with guys that were way younger than me

(01:47:53):
because I knew I wasn't gonna fall in love. I
knew I wasn't gonna take them home to my kids.
So I was a little puma. I won a cougar,
yet I was a puma. So I was able to
have my friends with my benefits because you're not coming
home with me, and I'm not gonna see you before
this time or that time.

Speaker 2 (01:48:13):
But it was temporary, and it was for a reason.

Speaker 3 (01:48:16):
But see that was on your end. That don't have
nothing to do with what they felt on the NA.
You can't tell me they are already situation. They already
knew what it was and what it is and what
it was, because you can't know what it is. They
were younger than me, work. They weren't trying to fall
in love with me. They young, they excited, they got somebody. Mama,

(01:48:37):
you you gotta. I ain't saying it work for everybody.
I'm just saying it worked for me. And it was
very summerish, temporary. You know, I had two good summers
in my life. Two good summers, y'all.

Speaker 2 (01:48:47):
Listen, you listen to hear about it. Do not let
me tell you I'm gonna add on another few.

Speaker 3 (01:48:54):
Like I said, you cannot be throwing down your best
oral game in the friends with benefits and then think
that they gonna stay a friend with benefit fellas. You
cannot be dropping your best slong dog and doing these
poorn hub techniques, and then you think that she not

(01:49:14):
gonna show up at your house. You think she not
gonna be sitting out there in your car when you win.
It sound for you to go to work and you're
trying to figure out how she get in your car.
Your door, your window ain't buss, and your car ain't damaged.
But she's sitting in your car. You gonna be trying
to figure out all of those.

Speaker 2 (01:49:31):
Things and you have. All you can do is ask yourself,
is this friends with benefit? Ish? Is it worth all
of this?

Speaker 3 (01:49:42):
Because everybody likes to paint the cute narrative of how
it goes in a perfect world. But you see these
new people popping up all the time, and listen, what
the oh and baby, listen these young listen old dudes here.

Speaker 5 (01:50:01):
You hear you're here.

Speaker 3 (01:50:02):
Let me tell you I'm listen. I'm not hating on y'all, toy.
These they just be getting older and they hate.

Speaker 2 (01:50:07):
Listen.

Speaker 3 (01:50:08):
I'm trying to spare you, sir, do not mess with
these young chicks. If you gonna get you friend would
benefit you, better get you an old bird. Okay, I'm
gonna tell you, get you an old bird because these
young chicks, these new people, they you ain't a friend
with a benefit, You a sugar daddy, and you got
a movie different. They're different, baby, because the minute she

(01:50:30):
gets because she's gonna get pregnant. Okay, I'm gonna tell
you that right now, she's gonna get pregnant. She's gonna
go show up on your door. She's gonna let Miss
Linda know. She gonna have all the receipts and all
the nasty things you done did with your mouth and
that you just kiss Miss Linda on the mouth with
this morning before you got the work. Baby, by the

(01:50:52):
time you get home, Miss Linda donna put you out
because Tabitha is sitting right there, sitting at your kitchen table,
rubbing her stomach, and she only five minutes pregnant. See,
I don't see these little girls acting like that. I
see these little girls he had towards chop shop saying
not today. So they they cause they out because these

(01:51:15):
this is why I'm saying, that was yesterday today. Why
not you she getting these old dudes with this pension?
Maybe you for day DAYDA hooked up on them a
good seven hundred.

Speaker 2 (01:51:29):
These little child these little girls today, I don't see that. Now.

Speaker 3 (01:51:34):
That's now the ones before them, I see that. But
these ones they got too much going on, They have
too many things that they want.

Speaker 2 (01:51:41):
They gonna put them off on their mama. That's still
in the club, Mama than they they.

Speaker 3 (01:51:46):
Mama's after turkey twerking, Genteel saying right, Cedric saying, jangle lang,
jangle lang, absolutely putting that jangle lang on the pre
Tasha laughing, Gentail said, will run circles around him.

Speaker 2 (01:51:58):
Absolutely, So fell listen before you do that, please ask
yourself is it worth?

Speaker 9 (01:52:08):
It?

Speaker 2 (01:52:08):
Is this friends with benefits worth and.

Speaker 3 (01:52:10):
Now to each Only only you, as an individual can
answer that question. Only fine, ladies, you getting you These
young dudes they watching Poor Hub, Honey, all they doing
is sitting up and playing poor watching Poor Hub, watching
all this freak stuff. So now they finna come over
there and wear your old behind out. And now you

(01:52:34):
buying them the PlayStation seven and bat them the new
iPhones and all this, and that you got him driving
your car dropping you off like you like he Jody' off.

Speaker 2 (01:52:44):
Baby boy. You know what I'm saying, the whole situation.

Speaker 3 (01:52:47):
And then you sit up here in godthic being you
get pregnant, bat this little boy, not the old lady.
The old bird done got pregnant. Bad, the old bird
done got preggan. Now ain't that ashamed? Now you know
you can't go back to the church up that pregnant
and your boyfriend twenty two? Okay, you for old bird

(01:53:08):
and you got pregnant by a young man.

Speaker 2 (01:53:11):
Can you please and box your story because I will
tell you anonymously put that thing on you.

Speaker 3 (01:53:17):
So in all these situations you have to ask yourself
is the friends would benefit worth it? You guys listen,
I want to thank you all so much for tuning in.
Please do me a favorite. You all go to our
page and like our page at the J spot. Follow
us on Twitter at j spot. Also follow us on
Instagram at the j spot and J is spelled j A.

Speaker 2 (01:53:39):
Y E for all three. Until next time, you all
take care of yourself to other. Good night everybody, thank you,
good night, good night, good night. You get the old