The Jaye Spot Podcast

Join us at The Jaye Spot as we recap sizzling social media topics and dive into our discussion of "Real Relationship or Situationship... Which one are You In" Tune in for Sean Wyte's hot single, "Easy to Love You," and so much more! Don't miss out—subscribe to our YouTube channel, The Jaye Spot Radio, for all the excitement!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Of your life, Your hosts Jay and simply E hold on,
hold on, get ready to enter the J Spot, the
spot on Intellectual radio dot com.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Good evening, Good evening, Good evening, and welcome to the best.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
Night of your life.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
You have entered the J Spot, where we are strengthening
relationships and families, one conversation at a time. On Intellectual
radio dot Com. We are a iheartstation. I'm your host, Jay,
you all, thank you all so much for allowing me
to spend a tiny portion of this evening with you

(00:58):
as you ride home home, as you're at home cooking
and fixing the kids and fixing dinner and helping the
kids with their homework. Yes, they do have homework. Okay,
they do, they do, they do. I don't care how
many times they tell you mine teen j don't agein.

Speaker 3 (01:16):
Let us know work they have homework. Okay, just wanna
let you know.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Don't matter how many times they tell you that they
do have homework. Thank you so much, guys for tuning in.
Please do me a favor. Go to our YouTube channel,
like and subscribe. Follow us there at YouTube. That's the
J Spot Radio. Subscribe, Turn on the notification bells. Guys,
please go over there. We have so much content over

(01:42):
there that is not here on Facebook, so only way
to see it and check it out is to join
us on YouTube. Then do me a favor. Go to
our Facebook page and like our page at the J Spot.
Follow us on Twitter at jspot. Also follow us on
Instagram at the J spot and Jay spelled ja a
why e for all three why you're at it? Go

(02:06):
right around the corner boop boop boop. Go to our
TikTok like and follow us there. That's the J Spot again, guys,
Jay is j A why E. Guys, we have an
amazing show lined up for you tonight. I want to
thank you all again so much. Listen you are I'm
gonna do something a little different tonight if you wanna
call in because I know listen, we are going through baby,

(02:31):
we listen, we as black people, listen. Are the status
of our relationships and marriages is already in the toilet.
But Baby, after the results of this election, listen, some
of us have lost our ever last of mind. So
listen if you want to call in and briefly let
us know how you're feeling in regards to the results

(02:55):
of this past Tuesday's presidential elections, you can and call in.
Our number is seven O eight two two three eight
nine to five to three. Again, that number is seven
oh eight two two three eight nine five to three.
If you would like to call in and express what
are your thoughts and how.

Speaker 3 (03:15):
Are your feelings?

Speaker 2 (03:15):
You will give you about thirty seconds seconds to do so.
If you got some stuff listen that you just want
to get off of your chest about this election or
just how you're feeling about everything in general, if you
can respectfully so respectfully speaking, if you can do so,
if you choose to do so, I'll give it a
few minutes, a few minutes. If you guys want to

(03:36):
do that, you can definitely again call seven O eight
two two three eight nine five to three. You don't
have to say your name if you don't want to,
but listen. If you want to let us know how
you're feeling after this election, listen, are you one of
these people that are you out here passing out and
just you know, listen? Are you tearing up your home

(03:57):
because the election did not go the way you planned
it and you blaming it all?

Speaker 3 (04:02):
Listen, however you.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
Are feeling right now, if you want to express those feelings.
Then we want to hear it again respectfully. Thirty seconds.
Call in seven eight two two three eight nine five
three if you want to call in and let us
know how you're feeling.

Speaker 3 (04:18):
But guys, listen, I will say this.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
Do not please, please, do not be tearing up your
house because of the election. Okay, listen, you look, look,
come on now, we cannot be foolish and making foolish decisions. Okay,
because at the end of the day, your spouse's decision,

(04:42):
your spouse's vote, is not the reason why the election
did not go it did or it did not go
in whatever way you wanted it to go. It's not
your spouse's fault. It's not their fault. It's not their fault.
So let's not go tearing up our relationships and let's
not go tearing up our homes because of our political stance.

(05:06):
And you know what, sometimes, listen, we take you know,
a lot of people, as we're seeing this past election,
a lot of people have taken a political stance, and listen,
they are taking that stance as religiously as they take,
you know, as they take their religion. You know, so
people are really sticking close to their guns and how

(05:30):
they feel, you know, their views and their values and
their opinions on whatever candidate they chose to endorse or
whatever candidate they chose to back. People are really you know,
standing tent tooes down in their decision?

Speaker 3 (05:47):
And like it's to me, I think it's going you know, listen.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
It's okay to stand tall and stand firm in your beliefs,
But are you gonna tear up your home over it?

Speaker 3 (06:00):
Like, Okay, the election is over now.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
You don't cuss your husband out because he felt whatever
way he felt. You don't cust your wife out because
she's felt whatever way she felt. But like, what are
you gonna do now after the fact, Like what are
we gonna do now that everything is said and done?
Are you still going to not talk to your husband?

(06:23):
Are you still not gonna talk to your wife because.

Speaker 3 (06:26):
Of the results of the election.

Speaker 2 (06:29):
And I would say this, listen, black people, black couples,
we don't need any We don't need any more foolishness. Okay,
we don't need any help with tearing down our family structures.
We don't need any help with tearing down what little
we have left in families. We don't need any help.

(06:51):
So let's not we don't need any help with agendas
continuously pitting us against each other when when you're looking
at those numbers, if you looking at those numbers, you
will know that black men vote votes nor black women
votes made a bit of difference in this election. We

(07:12):
were not the determining factor in this race. So let's
not let whatever happen the results, let's not let that
be the determining factor on us continuously post out, well,
just say you didn't, won't just say you don't like
black women in just listen, let's let's let's let's not
be like that. Let's not be like that, because that

(07:34):
is a very very very very childish approach to have
and a childish outlook to have in this especially if
you like, if you want of those people that just
sit back and like really think about things, like, let's
really really think about this. Let's think about this thing,
and let's think about it logically, because right now a

(07:55):
lot of us were not operating or looking at this
situation logically. We are operating in emotion, So like, let's
not let this tear us up.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
So I guess anybody wanna talk about this if y'all.

Speaker 2 (08:06):
Do y'all still you know Collean seven o eight two
two three eight nine five three. Now listen, we're gonna
go ahead on and get to the matter at Ham.

Speaker 3 (08:16):
You all, you all, you all.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
It is a sad day in a reality TV land.
It is a sad day. Now listen you all. I
know I know because listen, I nearly cried for her.
So now listen, guys, after all, after this woman and
you gotta u eyes can correct if I'm am I

(08:41):
using the right word or not, but I'm gonna say,
waste it. You all may say she put herself in
that position, or she gave she chose to stay there.
But Chrissy from one of these love and hip hop shows,
baby all, Jim Jones has tied the knot back, and

(09:01):
it was not with Chrissy.

Speaker 3 (09:02):
Oh my god, when.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
I tell you, when I saw that foolishness, oh oh,
I cried.

Speaker 3 (09:09):
I cried in my spirit for that woman.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
I'm like, wait a minute, this woman gave that bastard
over twenty years of her life and he goes and
marries someone that he's known for several months.

Speaker 3 (09:27):
Woo child. I felt that in my spirit.

Speaker 2 (09:31):
Oh my god, I'm like, even though I know they
were no longer together, yeah, yeah, yeah, but the fact
I mean, like, to me, that was like a dead
slap in the face. Now, I said, listen, this woman
wasted all of her year, all these years of her
life being with this man.

Speaker 3 (09:50):
But what do you all think is it?

Speaker 2 (09:53):
Did she waste these years or are you guys gonna
say you know what, Jay, No, she didn't waste. No,
that was a decision that she chose to make as
a grown woman. She chose to stay in that relationship
with this man. Begged this man because at one point
some years ago, Baby, she even asked him to marry her.

Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yes she did. She got down on one knee. Baby,
I saw it with.

Speaker 2 (10:18):
My own eyes with the contacts too, but I saw
her get down on her knees and asked this man
for his hand in marriage. And they still didn't get married. Like,
what kind of foolishness is this? Like what in the world?

Speaker 3 (10:35):
It's like twenty years.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
She was a stepmom to his kid, and you know, listen,
she dealt with all of that foolishness from his mama.

Speaker 3 (10:48):
Whoa lord dealing with.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
His mama alone was listen enough for him to give
her a ring for her dealing with his mama. What
alone was enough for him to say, you know what, baby,
let's get married, because listen, if you can deal with this,
if you can deal with.

Speaker 3 (11:06):
My mama and now snap.

Speaker 2 (11:08):
Out and lose it, then listen, I gotta make you
the one. You are the one, you gonna you riding
with me, You riding with this foolishness that my mother
is putting out him.

Speaker 3 (11:20):
I listen, I'm riding with you. Listen, let's do this.

Speaker 4 (11:23):
But he didn't.

Speaker 3 (11:25):
Twenty some years. Hey, Adrian, thank you. She said she
loved my hair. Thank you, Adrian.

Speaker 2 (11:31):
She on YouTube, y'all, so check us out on YouTube
the Jspot radio.

Speaker 3 (11:35):
But listen, I'm telling you you are. I would. Sitting here,
I was like, I got my tissue.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
I was like this ding' gonna this bastard, he gonna
go ahead and he gonna marry this little cream puff
after this woman that gave him twenty years.

Speaker 3 (11:51):
Of her life.

Speaker 2 (11:52):
And then she didn't even Oh my god, it's just
going to me her child bearing years.

Speaker 3 (11:57):
Oh my god, she don't have no kids.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
God, y'all tell me she I know, they don't got
no kids together, does she have any kids before?

Speaker 3 (12:06):
Oh lord, that's a whole different dagger in the heart.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
You gave up your child bearing years for somebody who listen, listen, listen, listen,
you all listen.

Speaker 3 (12:21):
Okay, this is about to be the new movement. Do
not get chrissied.

Speaker 2 (12:25):
Okay with any time you hear that, don't get chrissied
because listen, you listen. We love them, yes, yes, yes, yes,
But if that love is not being reciprocated how you wanted,
how you know you deserve it, it.

Speaker 3 (12:44):
Is time to move on.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
Do not get chrissied if you know that you want
to get married and you've been with this Bama more
than two years and he telling you he not ready,
you are not the one, and you are not the one.
He doesn't want you.

Speaker 3 (13:03):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
We just gonna start speaking this because it's almost a
new year. So listen, Let's start getting our tears and
our heartbreak over with now, so by the time the
new year comes, we can be ready to walk into
whatever new blessings and whatever new relationships that twenty twenty
five have in store for us.

Speaker 3 (13:21):
But we're gonna.

Speaker 2 (13:22):
Start shaking this ish off right now again. Do not
put yourself in position to be christy again. She loved
this man, funky, dirty ragby nasty drawls, and he married
somebody else.

Speaker 3 (13:40):
She cater to him. She was there with.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
This Bama slab don't Bob, did all kinds of tricks
out the shade of lier whatever freaky tup, whatever it
is that he won't baby.

Speaker 3 (13:50):
She did that for this man for twenty.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
Years only for him to go and marry some one else.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
What type of slap in the face is that? Foolishness?
That was a slap in the entire face like you
lad this now.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
I'm gonna say it because it's how I feel. But
y'all tell me, fellas, let me know if I'm wrong.
You lad this woman on for twenty something years.

Speaker 3 (14:20):
Now. Maybe I don't know. Maybe the schlong dong was good.
Maybe I don't know.

Speaker 2 (14:27):
Maybe was it that good that he just every time
he just knocked the common sense up out of you.
Because listen, I've heard that they got some slong dog
out there that's just that good that it will knock
the common sense up out of you.

Speaker 3 (14:39):
Now, if they got some slung dog like that, I
don't want it.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
Okay, you keep that if your slung dog can knock
the common sense up out of me, I don't want it.
You keep your slong dog over there. You keep it
because I need what is left of my common sense.

Speaker 3 (14:57):
I need it.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
I don't need you knocking the sense up out of me. No,
so maybe his schlong nong was that good that kept
that woman around for twenty years and just hoping, begging,
begging for Listen, ladies.

Speaker 3 (15:15):
We're not doing it anymore.

Speaker 2 (15:16):
Okay, we're not begging a man to love us. We're
not begging a man to wanna be with us. Hey,
mister Jamal Walker, thank you so much for checking in.
I'm doing pretty good, guys. Listen check out Jamal Walker's page.
He is definitely hilarious and he's also deep dropping some
deep deep gems on his reels and his tiktoks and

(15:38):
his videos. Thank you so much for tuning in. But listen,
you guys, yes, do not do not get chrissy. I
mean because again, twenty years, twenty years, ladies, we're not
bagging anymore. We're not begging and we're not crying. You
gotta stand up, listen. It's okay to love these but

(16:02):
you gotta love yourself as well, So we got we're
not gonna be issuing all these all toimatums and all that.

Speaker 3 (16:09):
She listened, she did all of that, she issued all tomatums.
She she got on her knee.

Speaker 2 (16:15):
And proposed to him, and he still did not marry her.
He still went and.

Speaker 3 (16:21):
After a few months married some one else.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
This year, going into twenty twenty five, we're gonna start
honestly assessing our situations and our relationships. What you're talking
about tonight, relationships or situationship?

Speaker 3 (16:36):
Which one are you in? We are talking about that tonight.

Speaker 2 (16:39):
But we're gonna honestly assess where we are because sometimes
we like to have on the rose colored glasses, baby,
because we love, and I do mean love they funky, nasty, stinky,
dirty draws. Baby, You love his draws. You listen, You
love his dirty draws, and it's okay, it's okay to

(17:01):
love his dirty draws. But guess what, you better love
your dirty draws more.

Speaker 3 (17:06):
Than your love his. You better love on you more
than you are loving on him. You have to, because.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
Any man that wants you, ladies, you not gonna have
to beg You're not gonna have to go through all
of that, Jamal, you're saying using her to build his
reputation to be with a woman he wants, absolutely, ladies.

Speaker 3 (17:30):
When he wants you.

Speaker 2 (17:32):
And y'all gotta go to my YouTube channel and I
have a whole video on it and it's called.

Speaker 3 (17:37):
When he Wants You. When a man wants You.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
Listen, Because ladies, sometimes we just we get it twisted,
because we love emotionally, like we be all like what,
we just wanted to get it all out there and
let him know just how much we love him and
how much we're willing to do for him.

Speaker 3 (17:53):
We love.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
That's how we love. But if you're not getting that
in return, you gotta let it go.

Speaker 3 (18:05):
You gotta let it go. We go, and we gonna
let it go way before things get crazy. We gonna
let it go. Thank you so much for the stars, Jamal.

Speaker 2 (18:15):
We're gonna let it go before we get to the
point where we gotta start busting out car windows and
all of this other stuff. Hey, pretty Tasha, how you doing?
She said, Sure, ain't, sister Jay. We're gonna stop. We're
gonna stop all that. We're gonna stop before it gets
to that point. We're gonna stop before we get and

(18:36):
start dropping on one knee to ask this man to
marry us. What I'm all for women's live Listen, don't
come at me with all of it. I still believe
a man should ask a woman to marry him her.
If you feel otherwise, I respect your right to feel
however you feel. Okay, so we're gonna put that like that.

(18:56):
But I'm speaking from my point of view, and that's
what matters.

Speaker 3 (19:00):
My point of view. You can agree disgreed.

Speaker 2 (19:02):
Don't matter, but you entited to feel how you feel.
Just standing and toes down on however you feel.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
Do not.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
Put yourself in position to be begging these men and listen,
stop giving these me and all these opportunities to show
you that they don't love you, that you're not the
one that they're trying to be with. But he keep
coming back. He keep coming back because you let him
come back. That's why he's coming back, because you let

(19:33):
him come back. That's why he's coming back because you
let him. Let's get that straight. You let him, so
that that's not a big deal. Oh he he challenges me.
He coming back. It's not a badger, honor, sweetie. You're
you're comfortable You're something that he's familiar with.

Speaker 3 (19:51):
You're comfortable, and.

Speaker 2 (19:52):
He knows he could come back. He know he can disappear,
go do what he gonna do and come back. And
you steal there, faithful because you know why.

Speaker 3 (20:00):
And listen, listen. When I'm talking to you, I'm talking
to myself too. Listen. I know how it is to
love these dudes. You love them listen so long.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
But again, at some point you have to wake up
and start loving yourself like you love these dudes. Lawan,
you're saying, speak the truth. We gotta love ourselves like
we love on these dudes.

Speaker 3 (20:26):
If you if.

Speaker 2 (20:27):
He's not giving you the same energy that you're giving him, listen,
it's time to let it go.

Speaker 3 (20:34):
Lawan.

Speaker 2 (20:35):
You're saying, some of the ladies have been treated and
blinded for so long they hate to hear the truth.

Speaker 3 (20:41):
And we do. Listen, Lawan, I understand because it hurts. Listen.
Nobody wants to admit that.

Speaker 2 (20:50):
Listen, Oh man, this dude have played me to the
entire left. He is playing me like Nick knacked Patty
wag get a dog a bone. This brother is playing me.
Nobody wants to admit that. Nobody listen, but if y'all
don't want to admit it, that's why I'm gonna admit
it for y'all. Okay, listen, I've been there, done that. Listen,

(21:14):
I'll wallow in it, wallow over there in la la land.

Speaker 3 (21:18):
Oh I love oh, I love him, I love him.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
Does he feel the same about you? That's what we
gotta get into. If all these years she spent and
he was showing her that he did not feel the
same way she felt, he did not. Yes, he stayed
around because you're comfortable and you're doing everything that he.

Speaker 3 (21:44):
Wants you to do. Yeah, Yah, I'm aa talk crazy, ladies.
Let me give y'all. Let me give you a little hint.
These guys don't care because you're out there acting crazy.

Speaker 2 (21:55):
They don't, they don't. That's not gonna make them love
you anymore. That's not gonna make them respect anymore. Because
the moment they see what they want, and this is
a prime example, the moment they see what they want,
they're gonna drop it. They will get ready for who
it is they want. They will get ready for what

(22:17):
it is that they want. So don't listen when these
men say, some of these gods say I'm not ready. No,
I'm not like in school when they did equations and
when we're doing the division and stuff. No, that when
they that I'm not ready, that equates to you you're
not the one, or I don't want you. That's what
that equates to. I'm not ready. Oh no, ma'am, you're

(22:40):
not the.

Speaker 3 (22:41):
One he wants. He's ready, he's gonna get ready. Listen,
this man told her for twenty years he wasn't ready
to get married. He meet Tinkerbell in two and nothing.

Speaker 2 (22:53):
I don't have nothing against the young his wife, nothing
against her at all.

Speaker 3 (22:57):
Nothing because he did what men do.

Speaker 2 (23:01):
He saw what he wanted and he swooped up on her,
didn't give her all that foolishness. Oh I'm not ready
because guess what, Fellas, And listen, correct me if I'm wrong. Fellas,
when a man sees something that he don't want to
let go, well, he don't want to risk losing. He
is going to step up to the plate. You don't
have to get out a character. You don't have to

(23:23):
fight and cuss nobody out.

Speaker 3 (23:25):
You ain't gotta do none of that.

Speaker 2 (23:28):
If you're who he wants, he will have you. He
will have you without all of the moving in. You
gotta give him an ultimate. I'm gonna give him two
years and we can.

Speaker 3 (23:41):
Why why give him another two years?

Speaker 2 (23:44):
You've already given him fourteen Why give him another two?

Speaker 3 (23:49):
He knew fourteen years ago that you wasn't the one.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
He's just trying to figure out how long is it
gonna take you to understand and accept that you not?
He trying to figure that out because he like, well,
I swear for Lord, as long as she allows me
to do this, then uh, this is where I'm at.
This is what I'm gonna do as long as she
allow it, I'm doing it like I mean, listen, she

(24:16):
she's she giving me all the sex that I wont
whenever I want it because I'm out I'm getting it
from her, and I'm getting it from other people. So
it doesn't matter whether she give it to me or not.
I'm still getting it from who I want. So, ladies,
let's not think that because you holding out on it, he's.

Speaker 3 (24:32):
Gonna be bent up out of shape about He's not.
He's not.

Speaker 2 (24:36):
He's not bent up out of shape about it, because
guess what, he's out there getting it from who he
wants to get it from. So let's just start having
these honest conversations. But no more twenty years, ladies, no more,
No more ten years, Lewan, you're saying, she let him
and has she left him, has become she let him

(24:58):
and has become content dominated with foolishness. Now the next
brother gets the mess of her ex. I hope that
for her sake, that she takes the time to heal,
you know, before entering into another relationship, because I mean, again,
twenty years of chasing somebody, like that's a long time,

(25:18):
only to go and have them to marry someone else.
I mean, I think that that's really that's something deep
to be dealing with, Like, that's a deep situation to
be involved in. So again I I'm not laughing at
her plight because again I think that it's definitely that's

(25:40):
some hurtful stuff. Like that's some hurtful ish right there.
Like again, seriously, she's loved this man, has been there
with this man for all of these years, all of
these dog gone years.

Speaker 3 (25:55):
Baby, she been there begging this man.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
You know, look, look all these ultimatums, everything under the sun,
only for him to end up marrying somebody else. I said,
wool baby. Let me tell you I felt ooh, I felt.
I'm telling you, guys, I felt that ish I was
just like this bomb bastard. And that's exactly what I said.

(26:21):
I said, this bomb bastard done did this to Christy.
But then I sat back and I said, did he
really do this to Christy? Or did Chrissy do this
to herself? Because Christy chose to continue to stay there
year after year after he showed her so many times

(26:44):
and told her so many times that he was not
ready for marriage, when really he was ready for marriage.
He just wasn't ready for marriage. He just wasn't ready
to marry her. And again, sometimes, ladies, listen, that can
be a hard peal to swallow. But you know what,

(27:09):
the sooner that that peal is swallowed, then sometimes the better.
Sometimes the sooner you accept that and swallow that. You
know what, Listen, this is some bull right here. You
know what, I love him, and I have to accept
the fact that, you know what, he does not love
me as much as I think that he should. He

(27:30):
doesn't love me as much as I love him. And
you know what, I'm okay with that. I gotta be
okay with that. And I gotta move on. I gotta
move on from me. I gotta do what's best for me.
I'm gonna take this as a learning experience. I'm gonna
take some time out and I'm gonna love on myself.

(27:50):
I'm gonna get myself situated. I'm gonna let my heart heal,
because that's a listen.

Speaker 3 (27:57):
Not only let your heart heal.

Speaker 2 (27:59):
Here's the We gotta get good at this knowing when
it's time to go and talk to somebody after spending
twenty years with somebody and they go and marry somebody else.
You cannot tell me that that is not psychologically damaging.
You cannot tell me that she is not psychologically damaged

(28:23):
by this man going off to marry someone else. You
cannot tell me that I refew. I will not believe
that foolishness. No way, no how, no, ma'am, no ham
will I believe anybody that tells me that you know what, well, Jay,
you know, she she good, She broke up with him, Yeah,

(28:44):
she broke up with him, Yes she did, Yes, she did.

Speaker 3 (28:47):
But you can't tell me that this doesn't hurt, that.

Speaker 2 (28:51):
She's not hurt over this, and you've given your man
this man twenty years of your life only for him
to go and marry someone else. That requires a trip
to sit on somebody's couch. You guys, we gotta understand
that we gotta recognize and start participating in our own

(29:12):
rescue and listen, helping our own well being, and that
starts with going and sitting on somebody's couch and talking
to a professional about this. Because you can't just go
through some stuff like this and then think that you're
gonna be okay, like you're not gonna go talk to
nobody about anything that you just dealt with, You're doing

(29:33):
yourself a grave diss service. So I hope that she
goes and talks to someone, talks to a professional, and
work this out, because again, being with someone for twenty
years and they marry someone else, I can't. I can
only only imagine how that feels. I can only imagine

(29:59):
because he here's the thing, Listen, I know how it
feels side somebody that you care about love somebody else.
Now I wasn't in a relationship, but to find out
years you know later, a year or two years later,
like they got married, you know, that's definitely heartbreaking and
is definitely devastating. So I can only I can only

(30:19):
imagine what she felt and how she feels after all
of these years with this man and you know, now
he marries, he's married to someone else.

Speaker 3 (30:31):
I can only imagine.

Speaker 2 (30:33):
So again for her, you know, I hope that she
goes and like I said, that she goes and she
you know, talks to somebody professionally, because again, this is
not This cannot be an easy situation to deal with.
This can't be easy something easy to accept the fact
that you know, listen, I don'e love this man for
all of these years and now he can go up

(30:56):
and lead and just go and marry somebody else like that,
like all the twenty years that I gave him didn't matter.
Guess what, it didn't matter. It didn't I'm sorry. Unfortunately
it didn't matter to him because if it did, he
would have made you his wife and not the chick
that he married. So we gotta stop trying to overplay

(31:20):
our part in people lives as well, Like we gotta
just be real and just keep it real with ourselves.

Speaker 3 (31:25):
Like, man, you know what, I loved him.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
I loved him, and you can't discount that just because
their feelings and they don't do right, and they don't
you know, respect and do what they need to do
for you.

Speaker 3 (31:39):
You know, you can't. Don't underestimate how you feel.

Speaker 2 (31:42):
So just because they didn't feel the same way or
they didn't express it the way that you would have
wanted it to be expressed, don't minimize how you felt.
You still loved him, but it wasn't he didn't love
you in that way in return, And you know what,
sometimes we gotta just say, you know what, it's like that.

(32:05):
Sometimes unfortunately, that's just the way that the dice are rolled.

Speaker 3 (32:09):
That's just the way the game goes. But at the
end of the day, you have to make sure. Now
you've learned that you've been through that. Now let's say,
you know what, I'm not gonna go through that again.

Speaker 2 (32:22):
I'm going to this energy right here, this love that
I have to give. I'm gonna make sure if I
can love this man like that, I'm going to make sure.

Speaker 3 (32:35):
That I love myself like that.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
And then some I'm gonna love on me the way
that I'm supposed to. Because now you know that you're
capable of loving like that, guess what you done? Love
this Bama like that? All these years, so you better
turn around and redirect that love to yourself, and you
better start being good to yourself.

Speaker 3 (32:55):
You know that you can do it.

Speaker 2 (32:57):
You spend all this time doing it for him, you
better step up and do it for yourself. We got
to so stop pouring out all of that for people,
and you're not giving yourself any of that love.

Speaker 3 (33:13):
You're not giving.

Speaker 2 (33:14):
Yourself any of that grace. You can't love somebody else.
Stop loving people more than you love yourself. We gotta
stop doing that. We have to make ourselves a priority.
Stop putting how you feel on the back burner. If
what they're doing, if they're not loving you in a

(33:37):
way that you can receive it and that you know
that it's love. Listen, it's some decisions that have to
be made. It's only so much talking.

Speaker 3 (33:46):
Listen. I'm for talking.

Speaker 2 (33:48):
I'm for couples counseling, but listen, both people have to
want it to work. I can't just want the couples
counseling and then you're going just because.

Speaker 3 (33:59):
You want me to shut up, that's not gonna work.

Speaker 2 (34:03):
You're agreeing with it whatever it is that I say,
just so that I can shut up.

Speaker 3 (34:07):
That's not gonna work. That's not the type of relationship
that you want to be in.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
So at some point, you know what we gotta be like, Listen,
you know what, I'm gonna let you go and find.

Speaker 3 (34:18):
What makes you happy.

Speaker 2 (34:20):
I love you that much, I love me that much
that I'm gonna let you go so that you can
do whatever it is that you wanna do. You gotta
do whatever makes you happy, and don't worry about doubling
back this way because guess what, I'm gonna be good.
We've done this for upteen years and this is where
we still are.

Speaker 3 (34:39):
I'm good. May the forces be with you, May you
get everything that your heart desires.

Speaker 2 (34:45):
But just know everything that I gave and I put
forth in this relationship, it was real. So now I'm
gonna take all of that and all this love that
I have to give, and I'm gonna put it back
in I'm gonna invest it back in me until I
find somebody that I feel that is worthy of me
stepping out there for and giving this thing a shot again.

(35:06):
But when you deal with traumatic situations like that, because listen,
let's let's call this what it is, these situations any
A lot of these relationships. They be traumatic, and no,
we don't even want to accept that, we don't want
to use the term traumatic. But listen, some of these breakups, listen,

(35:27):
will take you out, take you out out. Oh you
tea out. It will take you out, and we're not
talking about it. We gonna get broke up like that,
and then we're gonna try to get back out here
and create a website, you know, create a profile so
we can start back dating.

Speaker 3 (35:49):
No no, no, no.

Speaker 2 (35:51):
No, we're gonna end up in the club and you
know we're gonna be trying to turn up or we're
gonna go get baby. I'm gonna go get snatched. I'm
gonna go give me a BBL and.

Speaker 3 (36:00):
No stop stop stop, stop stop stop.

Speaker 2 (36:07):
Go invest that money that you were gonna invest to
get a BBL or whatever, go invest that in talking
to somebody. Go talk to a relationship therapist. Go talk
to somebody before you even go and move on to
the next person.

Speaker 3 (36:25):
Talk to somebody, because that's why.

Speaker 2 (36:28):
You're making these hasty, crazy decisions, is because you're hurt
and you need an outlet. We all need an outlet,
So go talk to a professional. Listen, Yes, we love
talking to our girlfriends. We love talking to our family,
and that is all fine and dandy, but you may
need to talk to somebody that can prescribe you something

(36:50):
the club, going out to the club and having a
drink and all this and that. That's all fine and
dandy if that's your thing, but some of this is
is way deeper than that, and it requires more than
that a night at the club or you ending up
or what the best way to get over somebody is
to get under somebody else. No, it's not, No, it's

(37:13):
not you just go added on to the foolishness. So
now you're not added on another situation that you gotta
deal with.

Speaker 3 (37:19):
Because now what if that's long Dong's back to see,
you know.

Speaker 2 (37:22):
So it's like you're compiling all of these different issues,
and it need not be so.

Speaker 3 (37:28):
Once you're done.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
Sometimes, especially depending on the length of time that you've
been with these people, you might be out the game
for a minute until you get back right here. And
you get back right here, but we have to take
the time to really heal and focus on getting ourselves together.

(37:53):
And fellas, everything that I just said it applies to
you all as well, because men end up with the
wrong women and they do all of this. So it's
the same thing. If you have dealt with or have
got out a traumatic relationship, it is okay. Let's start
going and sitting on some people's desks, on some people chairs,

(38:16):
and start talking to some people.

Speaker 3 (38:19):
Again.

Speaker 2 (38:19):
We can talk to our friends, and that's always fun
and that's always fine and dandy, but we have to
make sure that we are talking to a professional because again,
these professionals can definitely help you out and help you
put some things in perspective. Now, listen, you are speaking
of perspective. What do you all think about this? Baby,

(38:44):
Tamar Braxton? Yes, do you all agree with what Tamar
said in regards to this situation? Tamar said, baby, she said,
if your man is cheating and you find out he cheating,
and if you not leaving, don't confront him. Let that
man cheat on you in peace, baby, she said, don't

(39:06):
she don't you say not a mumbling word if you're
not gonna leave him, if you find out he's cheating
and you're not gonna leave, shut up, shut it up,
don't say nothing. That's what Tamar said. What do you
all think about that? And y'all listen, if y'all want
to talk to me? Seven O eight two two three
eight nine five three seven O eight two two three

(39:28):
eight nine five three. Baby, Tamar said, if your man
is cheating and you don't plan on leaving him, shut up,
sat down and shut up and let that Bama cheat
on you in peace.

Speaker 3 (39:44):
What are y'all thoughts of that? Is that? Are you?

Speaker 2 (39:46):
Like?

Speaker 3 (39:46):
You know what? Jay?

Speaker 2 (39:49):
As much as I hate to say it, you know
she got a good point. You know what do you
all think about that?

Speaker 3 (39:54):
She said? Listen, let this man cheat on you in peace.

Speaker 2 (39:59):
Let him get his knob slobbed all over in peace.
Let her back that thing, let her back her big
booty up on your man. Let her back that big
booty up on your man in peace. Do not say
a word. That's what Tamar said. If you find out
your man is cheating and you don't plan don't leaving him. Baby,

(40:22):
she said, shut up, don't you say nothing? Sit down
and let that man cheat in peace. What are your
thoughts on that? Because I'm just like, wait a minute, hey, Eric,
how you doing? You said, I can't lay for the party.
You said, oh, hecky nah, I'm not having that. What
you're doing Are you gonna confront him or are you
leaving and confronting, Because now here's the thing you are.

(40:47):
I know, ladies, I already know y'all, y'all fin a
hand it to me. But you know what I gotta say.
I'm with Tamar. What purpose think about it? What purpose
is it? Tearing the whole house up? You don toe
his car up? You have showed your nachrope by thirty minutes.

(41:13):
You dona stayed up all you stayed up all night.
You go toe the whole house up. You don't win
the jumped on the girl, the all cans of foolishness. Baby,
you don't pull you don't pull that piece of steel
on that brother.

Speaker 3 (41:27):
You did everything and then you stay what kind of foolishness? Listen.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
You could have went on head and went look, baby,
you could have went and mopped the house, cleaned the
house up. You did all of that, clown and for
what you clown like that, for what you showed out
like that.

Speaker 3 (41:52):
For what Erica is saying, packis he got to go.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
That's what I'm talking about, listen, because if you ain't
packing this stuff or you ain't.

Speaker 3 (42:04):
Leaving, I don't understand what are we doing? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Speaker 2 (42:10):
Sharing you're saying you better say it, preach, and Rider,
you're saying, why are you yelling in the room by yourself?
Because I'm not by myself. I'm yelling at you, Ride.
So here's the thing we gotta understand. Whoa Tamar had
a good point. She has a good point. She has

(42:32):
a good point. Why are you showing out? Why are
you gonna do all of that just and I mean
just to stay. So now you gotta get down there.
Now you don't bust this car windows out, So now
y'all gotta get up the next day.

Speaker 3 (42:50):
Now guess what, Like my favorite.

Speaker 2 (42:52):
Judge, Judge Leah Toler, always said, why are you going
to pay the stupid tax so the stupid taxes? Will
you go and tear up his stuff? And then you
gotta go and you replace it? So now you don't
spend all of this So not only are you staying,
but now you gotta spend all of that money to

(43:14):
replace what it is that you destroyed.

Speaker 3 (43:19):
So again I'm with her. I totally totally agree, because
here's the thing.

Speaker 2 (43:26):
By doing that, you clowned and you showed it, showed out,
and you still stay that lets him know that there
are no consequences. Do you think he really care about
you tearing up some stuff, especially when now you apologizing
to him for tearing up his car and now you

(43:46):
go and pay to get it fixed.

Speaker 3 (43:49):
What wait a minute, So he.

Speaker 2 (43:51):
Cheated on you, you found out, you told his stuff up,
then you got Now you make y'all make up, you apologize,
and then you go and get his car and stuff fixed.

Speaker 3 (44:03):
So not two things.

Speaker 2 (44:04):
Not only did you get cheated at all, but now
you don't lost your mind because you're gonna pay all
this money to get the stuff that you destroyed fixed.
Why do all that save yourself the money if you
know that you're not doing anything and you ain't going nowhere.

Speaker 3 (44:22):
I'm like Tamar, I totally agree with what she say.

Speaker 2 (44:26):
Sit back, let that man cheat on you in peace, say, listen,
figure out what you're gonna do, figure out what move
you're gonna make.

Speaker 3 (44:36):
But if you're not prepared to.

Speaker 2 (44:38):
Make a decision and stand on it, why are you
confronting him about it? Eric, And you're saying I'm too
old to fight. He getting out or I'm leaving Alonzo.
You said I would care, you would care about what
part of Linzo again, it's like, you're you're doing that
for what?

Speaker 3 (44:57):
What?

Speaker 1 (44:58):
What?

Speaker 3 (44:58):
What are we? What are we doing?

Speaker 2 (45:00):
Because ladies, again, what it is saying to him is,
you know what, she'll accept me cheating. She'll she will
accept me cheating, and she's good.

Speaker 3 (45:13):
This is what. So this is all she's gonna do.
But she's not going anywhere.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
She'll tear up some stuff and then guess what, she's
gonna turn around and pay for the stuff that she
tore up. So am I really losing anything? Have I
really lost anything?

Speaker 3 (45:30):
If?

Speaker 2 (45:31):
Yeah, she scratched the key, you know, she keeped my car.
But guess what she gotta fix. She got me a
brand new paint job. So all the damage that she
did in her fit of rage, she got all that fixed.
So I'm saying, ladies, why go into a fit of
rage to the especially to that level and you still stay.

Speaker 3 (45:55):
If you tear some stuff up.

Speaker 2 (45:58):
Listen, I'm tearing it up on my way out the door,
and I'm not coming back.

Speaker 3 (46:04):
That's it.

Speaker 2 (46:06):
But if you tearing some stuff up and you staying,
why tear it up? Just sit back, cry, let it,
let let it go. Alon say, you're saying my woman
tearing up my.

Speaker 3 (46:21):
Stuff, that's what you'll care about.

Speaker 2 (46:23):
So would you care about the part that she found
out you were cheating? Or how do you got and fellas,
what do you guys think about that? Have you ever
been in a situation where a woman has caught you
cheating and she's torn up your stuff? But then y'all
get back together. You listen, whatever lie you tell her

(46:43):
ooh and ooh, I'm telling you, ain't nothing worse than listen.
You find it out they cheating, you tell they stuff up,
and then y'all go and do the horizontal mumbo the same.

Speaker 3 (46:53):
Night, baby, baby, who's is it? Do not answer that question.

Speaker 2 (46:59):
He has no right to ask you whose is it?
And don't you dare ask him whose is it? Because
it's yours and hers now because you chose to stay,
so it's both of y'all men, And listen, don't sit
up there and be listen. If you take this man back,

(47:20):
do not sit up there and start calling the other woman.
Do not sit up there and start stalking the other woman.
Because here's the deal. Now, you have decided to become
a willing participant in the foolishness.

Speaker 3 (47:33):
So that's your man that's your men because you chose
to stay. You found out about the foolishness, and you
chose to stay. So now that's your man.

Speaker 2 (47:43):
So you need to get with the program and figure
out what the schedule gonna be. Have it if you're
gonna talk to him, you know, listen. Okay, look, I
know what you got going on, but don't bring that
over here to my house. Do not bring that in
my face. Whatever it is, whatever, whatever it is that
you have to say to yourself to justify while you're staying,

(48:03):
then stay. But you know, my thing is this, Listen,
if you if you're gonna stay, listen. You know I
like to you know, I like to think that I'm
a little bigger than this. But you know, sometimes you
know my patty over rules. Listen, I'm gonna be like listen, Yo,
two can play this game.

Speaker 3 (48:24):
Two can listen. Two can play at it.

Speaker 2 (48:26):
And when you catch me, because I'm gonna do it
so I can get caught. Oh oh oh oh, keep
your hands to yourself. Don't come trying to ruffle my
shirt up and all.

Speaker 3 (48:38):
We're not doing all that.

Speaker 2 (48:40):
We're not doing all that because see when you did it,
it was fine.

Speaker 3 (48:46):
But now I'm doing it now. I gotta be all this.
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no no.

Speaker 2 (48:52):
So I have this rule. Do on to me as
you want me to do onto you. If you don't
want me to do it to you in a relationship,
then don't you do it to me. And that's just
as simple as that, if we respect each other like that.
But if not, listen, I'm not gonna be the only
one over here shedding tears.

Speaker 3 (49:15):
I'm just not.

Speaker 2 (49:16):
I'm not about to be the only one over here
having anxiety and pain. Oh no, no, no, I'm not
about the only one to have something on my mind.

Speaker 3 (49:25):
I'm not. I'm not.

Speaker 2 (49:26):
See it just don't work that way. So think long
and hard. But like she says, if you gonna stay,
just listen, don't say anything. Don't say anything. What is
the purpose of staying with a man that you know,

(49:50):
you know he's cheating, you know he ain't much. You
know that his mother should have took them birth control
pills and he wouldn't be here to be stressed. Ma'am,
Why didn't you just have his father do the pull
out method so he wouldn't be here, so I would
not have to deal with this foolery. Why do you

(50:14):
allow Why did you birth this man and allow him
to come into my life to vex my spirit?

Speaker 4 (50:21):
Why?

Speaker 3 (50:22):
See? That's how stuff i'd be asking. You know, I'm listening.

Speaker 2 (50:25):
I'm real melodramatic, beat y'ap all at, but that's what
I would be asking. But if you are going to
stay listen, you need to let your spirit be vexed
in silence.

Speaker 3 (50:39):
Let your spirit be vexed in peace. Don't bring that man.
Don't bring that nonsense to that man. And then you
still up in there, you go get into.

Speaker 2 (50:49):
Bed after you don't custom out, then you go get
into bed that y'all share, and now you put your
butt y'all know how we do do the little butt
thing like that?

Speaker 3 (50:59):
And then you give him some to what what?

Speaker 4 (51:03):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (51:04):
Oh, my heart hurts. Woa, my heart hurts, y'all. And
y'all know I'm not lying, y'all. No, I'm not lying, Erica,
you're saying exactly. Elonza, you're seeing right, listen, we gotta
do better. You are again, I'm listen, ladies, I'm sorry,
I'm I'm I'm siding with Tamar with this. If she

(51:25):
is saying she's saying, listen, if he's cheated, and he's
cheating and you're not leaving, don't confront him. Sharing is saying,
when you're done tearing up stuff, you better be out,
like the like a scout apps, listen, you better because
if you're not gonna be out, do not tear that
man's stuff up.

Speaker 3 (51:45):
Just leave, leave his stuff alone.

Speaker 2 (51:48):
Going in there, take a shower or cry and a shower,
come on, wash your hair, wash your face, and come
on out and figure figure out what's gonna be your
next move. Alonzo, you're saying many times it takes strength
to leave a toxic relationship. This is true, very true,
which is why I say, don't say anything, because you

(52:11):
know what. You need to formulate a ply, You need
to formulate a plan to.

Speaker 3 (52:16):
Get up out of there.

Speaker 2 (52:17):
And again, just because you find somebody cheating you love them,
it's not I'm never gonna sit up here and say
it's easy to leave somebody that you love.

Speaker 3 (52:28):
I would be lying to you. It's not easy, especially
if you love them.

Speaker 2 (52:36):
Huh. If you love them, it's not easy. If you
don't love them, then you're like, oh this bastard right here,
you good. But if you love them. Listen, you're gonna
go through all sorts of emotions.

Speaker 3 (52:54):
Why what did I do? Never listen, let me say
this right now.

Speaker 2 (53:01):
Do not ever second guess yourself or second guess you're
worth because some man cheated on you.

Speaker 3 (53:09):
Do not you are worth it. You are worth it
in then something.

Speaker 2 (53:13):
Now listen, if you one of these ones that you know,
you've been out here living sideways and cricket, this conversation
is not for you because you all have y'all have
a different, a crooked relationship, and y'all cheat on each
other back and forth. This is not This is not
the conversation for you two toxic people. You all deserve

(53:37):
each other. May the best cheater win, That's what I
would say. So this conversation is not for those couples,
because you do have couples that listen, baby, it's a
competition or who can cheat the best, who can cheat
the best and not get caught. It's a competition with
some of you all listen, We're not This is not

(54:00):
for you all.

Speaker 3 (54:00):
This conversation is.

Speaker 2 (54:01):
Not for the couples that are in competition with the cheating.

Speaker 3 (54:05):
This is not for you all. This is for the
couples that, you know what, she really.

Speaker 2 (54:11):
Loves him, and then she finds out that he is cheating.
It's heartbreaking sharing you're saying, I'm with Tamar, she finds
out that he's cheating.

Speaker 3 (54:24):
That's not an easy situation to be in.

Speaker 2 (54:29):
And it's not as easy to say, you know what,
I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna leave.

Speaker 3 (54:34):
But what it is easy, Well it's not easy.

Speaker 2 (54:37):
But what you have to do if you're staying is
you have to exercise some self control. You have to
you cannot go tearing up the stuff. But then here's
the flip side. Once you've been deceived like that, once
you've been betrayed. See when you cheat cheat cheating, that's

(55:01):
like cheating is betrayal. You betrayed me. I trusted you,
I believed you, and you betrayed me. Now nothing, you
are nothing to me. You are nothing, nothing whatsoever. I
can smile and still be as pleasant to you as possible,

(55:24):
but you are nothing to me. You. I don't have
a feeling or an emotion towards you anymore because you
betrayed me.

Speaker 3 (55:34):
And that's how I feel about cheating. Cheating is the.

Speaker 2 (55:37):
Utmost form of betrayal and disrespect, and I just feel
as though cheating is not necessary.

Speaker 3 (55:48):
Listen before before cheating on me, leave me, leave me alone.

Speaker 2 (55:54):
Don't have me out here looking stupid, thinking that we
and all we all in love with I'm in love. Yeah,
I'm in love, but are you I I'm the only
one in love in this situation. Say you got me
out here looking as stupid as possible. I'm thinking that
you down for me, like I'm down for you. Then
I find out I'm down by myself. You ain't really down,

(56:19):
You ain't really down for the calls. You playing games,
and that's cool, But when I find out it's a
done deal back in the day, listen, clowning and all
this other stuff, yes, yes, yes, yes, but like Eric
is sid, I'm too old for that. I don't clown.

(56:40):
I leave, I'll just disappear. I'm cast for the friendly ghost.
It's like this never even this never even happened.

Speaker 3 (56:49):
I never even existed.

Speaker 2 (56:51):
I will say this, baby, you don't have to block me.
You don't have to do anything of the sort, nothing
of the sort. You don't have to do it whatsoever,
because I don't care. I'm good, I am good, and

(57:11):
this is done and we are over. If you wanna
talk about it, we can talk about it. I'm gonna
go talk to somebody. I'm gonna get me some help.
I'm gonna figure out what's going on with me. I'm
gonna figure that out. I'm gonna let somebody help me
to sort out all of this, and then I'm gonna

(57:33):
keep it moving. I am gonna keep it moving, but
I am not going to allow this situation. You took
me for granted, and you didn't deserve me, and you
showed me that you didn't deserve me. How you gonna
say they didn't deserve you, because you can tell how
they're acting.

Speaker 3 (57:52):
You didn't deserve me if you cheated and.

Speaker 2 (57:55):
I found out you didn't deserve me, And that's okay,
that's okay. Everybody is not gonna deserve you. But what
you better not do is you better not allow a
situation like that to keep you from being able to
move forward and love somebody else. Take the time that

(58:16):
you need to regroup and get yourself together, heal, refocus.

Speaker 3 (58:23):
Get it together, and then go back out there.

Speaker 2 (58:27):
But don't let a situation where somebody didn't truly value
you because they didn't realize your worth. Listen, maybe you're
not much to them, and that's fine. We gotta be
okay with listen not being number one on everybody's list.
As long as you are number one on the right

(58:47):
person's list, on your person's.

Speaker 3 (58:49):
List, that's all that matters.

Speaker 2 (58:51):
Stop trying to be number one to everybody, Stop trying
to be so important to everybody.

Speaker 3 (58:57):
Stop trying to do that.

Speaker 2 (58:59):
We gotta stop trying to do that, and let's just
be important to who we're supposed to be important to
that one person. Let's just let that be the person
that we're important to. Guys, listen, we're gonna take a
short musical break and when we return, we have more
hot topics to get into. So stay tuned. You don't

(59:22):
want to miss it. You're listening to the j spot
where we are strengthening relationships and families. One conversation added.

Speaker 5 (59:46):
Anybody, I should you don't have a woman, spend some time.

Speaker 4 (01:00:00):
I want your loving every drop of a time. You'll
think me calling? You should come running without best dollar.

Speaker 5 (01:00:10):
My father is calling. I got down time about all time.

Speaker 4 (01:00:15):
This could be so perfect. One hell of a night
he got us. Ease see any cog in my cook
but I just fall more slowness on you.

Speaker 2 (01:00:24):
Baby.

Speaker 5 (01:00:25):
We can turn it. You have to change me. No
singing and chases this love. I head this nine full place,
your circumsistence, something needles, no message, pick up the focus out.

Speaker 2 (01:00:41):
So I got go lo.

Speaker 4 (01:00:46):
Okayla know anybody love me. You're the one that lives
in me. My dear, I should.

Speaker 5 (01:00:56):
Never feel letting your love has been Oh my mind
honestly busy.

Speaker 4 (01:01:03):
I wanna unwine.

Speaker 5 (01:01:06):
Fantasize and gay value.

Speaker 4 (01:01:13):
And stipating is about.

Speaker 5 (01:01:15):
To go down.

Speaker 4 (01:01:21):
Don't leave me waiting. Oh my god, I get it.

Speaker 5 (01:01:27):
So no, man, you had to change no sing and
chases this love?

Speaker 4 (01:01:33):
I had this nie fuck class.

Speaker 2 (01:01:36):
Pla no syco says, I mean.

Speaker 5 (01:01:38):
Lead us from message, pick up the fuckers. I get side.

Speaker 4 (01:01:50):
I get so.

Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
Welcome back to the jspot, where we are strengthening relationships
and families, one conversation at a time.

Speaker 3 (01:02:09):
On Intellectual Radio dot Com.

Speaker 2 (01:02:11):
We are an iheartstation. I'm your host, Jay. You all
sitting next to me. We have estheticians Hey Chandler, mother
of a group of cool dudes, and a little lady
Lady Lotus.

Speaker 3 (01:02:31):
Hey guy day.

Speaker 6 (01:02:36):
The time with shining Today and I'm so heavy.

Speaker 3 (01:02:39):
Listen.

Speaker 6 (01:02:40):
Look, mister sun, mister sun, mister Golden's sun was out.

Speaker 2 (01:02:45):
I need it because listen, I think I have seasonal
season season itis or seasonalism.

Speaker 4 (01:02:51):
Its I just starting too early. You starting too early.

Speaker 2 (01:02:54):
Well, it's getting dark early, so I'm like, I'll be
ready to be in a bed as soon as it
get dark.

Speaker 3 (01:02:59):
I'm like, okay, it's time. It's my bedtime right now.

Speaker 2 (01:03:02):
Like I got the nocturnal system of a bear, so
I need to This is the season to be hibernated.

Speaker 3 (01:03:07):
So you all just listen, don't worry about it. I
be listen.

Speaker 2 (01:03:11):
I'll tell you one thing where you won't catch me
outside because.

Speaker 3 (01:03:14):
Listen, I'm tired. I'm listen.

Speaker 2 (01:03:16):
I'm tired, but you know what, I'm not too tired
to be here to talk to you all.

Speaker 3 (01:03:22):
Guys.

Speaker 2 (01:03:22):
Listen, I'm gonna thank you all so much for tuning in.
Please do me a favor.

Speaker 3 (01:03:27):
You all.

Speaker 2 (01:03:27):
Go to our page and like our page at the
j Spot. Follow us on Twitter at j spot. Also
follow us on Instagram at the j spot and jay
spelled j A y E for all three.

Speaker 3 (01:03:43):
Why you at it? Guys, do me a favor. Go
right now.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
Go to YouTube, like and subscribe to our channel. That's
the J Spot Radio. Also, go to TikTok and like
and follow us. There the J Spot again, guys, that's.

Speaker 3 (01:03:59):
Jay why e listen?

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
Turn on the notification bells, but the most important one.
Go to YouTube YouTube YouTube YouTube YouTube.

Speaker 3 (01:04:11):
Boop boop boop. Guys, listen, Thank you all so much.

Speaker 6 (01:04:15):
Don't boom boom, but don't tell them how you ain't
over there acting up, just acting up.

Speaker 3 (01:04:23):
I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 4 (01:04:24):
All I'm talking, y'all.

Speaker 2 (01:04:27):
Gotta go over to YouTube and just see what Lady Lotus.

Speaker 3 (01:04:31):
Is talking because I don't I'm talking about. But y'all
can go over there and listen.

Speaker 2 (01:04:34):
The foolishness is real and it's only over on our
YouTube channel.

Speaker 3 (01:04:41):
Again, guys, that is the J Spot Radio. Ja A
why E now? Listen? Guys.

Speaker 2 (01:04:48):
We have been having Oh it's the connection. We have
been having an amazian time, guys.

Speaker 3 (01:04:54):
An amazing discussion. Listen.

Speaker 2 (01:04:55):
We were talking about again before the break and what
I want your input on this. Lady loaded she said that,
Tamar said. Tamar Braxton said that if you find out your.

Speaker 3 (01:05:09):
Man is cheating.

Speaker 2 (01:05:11):
And you don't intend to leave, don't confront him. Let
that man cheat on you in peace. That's what Tamar said.
What are your thoughts on that?

Speaker 4 (01:05:21):
I mean, where's the lie through?

Speaker 6 (01:05:24):
Just through experience and watching you gonna curse him out.
You're gonna say everything. You're gonna curse this girl out.
And all they do is step they game up to
not get caught again, and then you're gonna stay. He
gonna like get on his tip toes and make you scream.
He not gonna go out, He gonna go outside. He
not gonna go outside.

Speaker 4 (01:05:45):
For a little while.

Speaker 6 (01:05:47):
He gonna get it together, and it's gonna happen again.
That's no difference to your girl telling you I see
your man in the restaurant and do you go home?

Speaker 3 (01:05:55):
They see you in the reil blue and then.

Speaker 4 (01:05:57):
What's gonna happen. He gonna say you can't hang out
with her no more. She had trouble make. You're gonna
believe her over me.

Speaker 6 (01:06:03):
So if you're not going to do anything about it,
if you're not gonna leave, you might as well shut.

Speaker 3 (01:06:10):
Up and do not tear nothing up either.

Speaker 2 (01:06:12):
Do tear nothing, Do not tear nothing up that you
gonna end up paying for the next day because you
have just wasted your time, your money, and your energy
by tearing some stuff up. And now you're sitting here
looking crazy because not only not only is he cheating

(01:06:33):
on you, but now you've had to go and pay
for the stuff that he is cheating that you know
that you've destroyed as a result of.

Speaker 3 (01:06:43):
You finding out that he's cheating.

Speaker 2 (01:06:45):
Now you mad, Now you being mad, and that is
just not a good look. So again, my stances with
I'm with Tamar as well. If you are going to
stay and don't say nothing, Erica is saying not these
days and times, there's a lot of STDs out there

(01:07:07):
that is so true, very much. So it's like, so man,
I would It's just it would be so you all,
because my mind would be playing tricks on me. I
would be like, when he's sleep, I'd be looking at him.
I'd be like, so, what's he doing her like that?
Or when he even when he touched me, I'd be like,
what's he.

Speaker 3 (01:07:26):
Doing her like that? Was he I act?

Speaker 2 (01:07:28):
So my mind would be so focused on the wrong
thing that it would be it would be virtually impossible
for me to stay in that type of relationship. And
then also you set yourself up to be christied. You
set yourself up to be christied, and like I said,

(01:07:48):
that's gonna be the new saying. You set yourself up
to be in a situation with a man that really
don't want to be with you, and now you're with
him all of these years.

Speaker 3 (01:08:00):
You can leave him.

Speaker 2 (01:08:00):
After twenty years and then he goes and marry somebody else.

Speaker 3 (01:08:05):
After just knowing her for a few months.

Speaker 2 (01:08:07):
But you've been begging him and asking him to do
right by you for over twenty years, and he can
go and.

Speaker 3 (01:08:15):
Throw that away and go and.

Speaker 2 (01:08:18):
Get with somebody else and marry her in the matter
of some months. Now, listen, speaking of throwing away, this
is here's a dude, in my opinion, that you can
throw him all the way away.

Speaker 3 (01:08:30):
Ladies, if a man has a rule, had a ninety
day rule.

Speaker 2 (01:08:37):
That he doesn't spend money on you, would you still
go out with him? The man saying, listen, I don't
spend no money. I don't believe in spending money. You know,
unto ninety days, you got a ninety day rule to
drop that thing. Thing. Then I got a ninety day
rule that allowed that prevents me from being able to

(01:09:02):
financially get do anything for you until after those ninety days.
So no couch, no mooch. What do you all think
about that? Is that a fair assessment?

Speaker 3 (01:09:12):
Would you? Would you entertain a dude that told you that?
What is your thought?

Speaker 2 (01:09:17):
Lady?

Speaker 3 (01:09:17):
Look what we're doing he said ninety days, say I'm
spending money, So.

Speaker 4 (01:09:21):
What we're doing? That's what I want to know. In
ninety days? What are we doing? What?

Speaker 6 (01:09:28):
How are we dating in this ninety days? If you're
not spending money? So does he mean he not buying gifts,
he not taking me out to eat, We're not spending money,
We're not we're not courting. Well we won't, he said,
ninety days, we won't be dating.

Speaker 2 (01:09:45):
He says, ninety days, he's not spending a dime. Okay, well,
ninety days.

Speaker 6 (01:09:53):
He would need to convince me on how he plans
on courting me. Now if you have, if he got
some wonderful ways of courting me without money, that's gonna
make me really like him and just be like, okay,
it's worth it.

Speaker 4 (01:10:07):
Then okay, but how are you dating me?

Speaker 6 (01:10:11):
Because you gotta spend gas money? You you if you're
gonna cook for me. You gotta spend money to buy
the cool food to cook for me if you don't
want to go to the restaurant like I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:10:24):
Sir, this way, move this way, sir, Move this way
with that foolishness. I am not I'm gonna say I
will not date you if you come to me and
tell me that you're not spending any money on me
until after ninety days. I am not about to deal

(01:10:46):
with you and your immature foolishness. Move this way, sir,
Move this way. Move this way, foolishness. You know what
this way is. Move out of my life. Move out
of my way with this foolishness. Okay, move it. I
am not about to deal with you and your foolery.

Speaker 3 (01:11:05):
Okay, you can keep your money.

Speaker 6 (01:11:07):
I don't really for ninety days. I don't really think
he could do it. How are you going to court
me and date me for ninety days without spending any money?

Speaker 4 (01:11:16):
It makes no sense.

Speaker 3 (01:11:17):
Maurice is saying, here's the question. Where was he wrong? At?

Speaker 2 (01:11:21):
Wasn't is his choice to marry whoever he wanted. Oh
he's talking about Jim Jones. Yes, Maurice, He's totally fine.
For being able to marry whoever he wanted to marry. Yes,
but why stay with the woman and lead her on
for twenty years?

Speaker 3 (01:11:37):
That's where he was wrong at That's so, that's the question.

Speaker 2 (01:11:41):
That's where he was wrong gat staying there for twenty years.

Speaker 6 (01:11:46):
I'm behind on the times, y'all. I didn't listen on
the way here. What happened with Jim Jones and Christy?

Speaker 3 (01:11:52):
He married somebody else?

Speaker 4 (01:11:53):
When did they break up?

Speaker 2 (01:11:55):
I don't know how long ago are he broke up,
but she was with him for twenty years, begging him
for him paying his hand in marriage. He knew Luke
cream Puff Baby for a few months, and he popped
the question and married her. Not only did he pop
the question, but he got married expeditiously.

Speaker 3 (01:12:11):
Meanwhile, this chick.

Speaker 2 (01:12:12):
Done held on and begged and cried and proposed to
him and all this other foolishness.

Speaker 3 (01:12:19):
Kidding you chose, and.

Speaker 2 (01:12:20):
He married somebody else. Alonzo's saying, that's impossible. You gotta
spend money on the woman I told you to get rid? Uh,
Pretty Tasha is saying, exactly why is he leading her on?
That's insane? Shaking my dog on head that listen this
is true.

Speaker 3 (01:12:37):
Listen. So we're talking about two things right now, but
we're gonna go back.

Speaker 2 (01:12:41):
Alonzo is saying we can't even take her out to Chipotle.

Speaker 3 (01:12:45):
For burrito or burrito ball.

Speaker 2 (01:12:48):
Yeah, this was this man and saying, yes, in ninety days,
he's saying he is not spending any money on a
woman in ninety days. And ladies, what are your thoughts
on that? Are you gonna go? Are you saying you
know what, Listen, I can respect that. I can respect that.
If you're saying that, Listen, I have no problem with that.

(01:13:09):
You can respect it. Because listen, whoever whatever lady can
respect that. Listen, more power to you. You are bigger
than I am because I am patty. I am not
And here's the thing, I am not materialistic, but I
am not about to sit up here and play this
type of game with a grown tail man.

Speaker 3 (01:13:27):
Sitting up here.

Speaker 2 (01:13:27):
Because if a woman says that she is not interested
in having sex for ninety days or whatever the timeframe is,
and so your response is, oh, well, I don't believe
in spending no money into ninety days, I am not.

Speaker 4 (01:13:44):
Oh wait, that's what that was about. Yes, it would be, because.

Speaker 3 (01:13:48):
That's that's what. That's right. The ninety day rule, that's
what that is.

Speaker 6 (01:13:52):
Why you keep to yourself in ninety days? What's wrong
with that? What's wrong with it?

Speaker 2 (01:13:57):
I tell you it's crazy. I'm it's like one has
nothing to do with the other.

Speaker 6 (01:14:02):
In my opinion, you can't find any other ways to
seduce me outside of us having sex.

Speaker 4 (01:14:09):
You're not gonna like give it to me and my brain.

Speaker 2 (01:14:12):
You not or they like if they swipe their car
for a steak or listen, nowadays it's whatever, a burger,
whatever it is. They think you you got to just
so you buy a little funky meal, and I owe
you a piece of my body.

Speaker 3 (01:14:27):
That's that's so, that's what that is. I owe you
a piece of my body.

Speaker 2 (01:14:30):
I don't get it like if I choose to do
it to you, if I choose to juice.

Speaker 3 (01:14:34):
You, I'll binde.

Speaker 2 (01:14:37):
If I choose to do that, then that's because that's
what I chose to do, But not because oh well,
it's because you bought me something, because like go like
this is why I like when grown men and grown
women come together. Because I don't think a grown man
thinks like that.

Speaker 3 (01:14:56):
I really don't.

Speaker 4 (01:14:58):
I don't even ain't nothing. We know, they don't think
like that.

Speaker 2 (01:15:02):
That's a immature guy is playing those type of games,
and sir, tricks are for kids.

Speaker 3 (01:15:09):
And as I said earlier, move this way, move this way,
Where this way?

Speaker 4 (01:15:14):
Where did the move this way?

Speaker 2 (01:15:16):
Go this way with this foolishness, go this way the foolery. Listen,
it's right here, Go this way, sir, go this way
right here, this is this is where you get off right.

Speaker 3 (01:15:29):
Here and take that foolishness, sir, that's what you got.

Speaker 4 (01:15:32):
That's not a grown and sexy that is not adult.

Speaker 3 (01:15:36):
Go to be sitting up and talking about well.

Speaker 4 (01:15:37):
If you ain't gonna give me this, then I'm they're
gonna give you this.

Speaker 6 (01:15:41):
Why you're trying to sold time with me, that means
to me, that's all you want.

Speaker 3 (01:15:45):
Now.

Speaker 6 (01:15:45):
If we both in agreement that we just want to
sleep with each other, then that's a different thing. But
if you see me over here talking about I'm looking for,
you know, my partner in life, I'm looking for my soul.
May you know I'm ready to settle it down. Where
are you concerned about when we're gonna have sex.

Speaker 4 (01:16:01):
With each other?

Speaker 2 (01:16:02):
Maurice is saying, Now, women need to stop dating men
with these patty rules. Absolutely, But listen, Maurice, you know
that they out here. They are out here now more
prevalent than ever. And baby, listen, all these terms that
are popping up over this social media high value, low value,
no value both vale lord listen, you need a thesaurus

(01:16:28):
to keep up with all of this. And nine times
out of ten a lot of us are placing ourselves
in the wrong category you think it is. You got
a six figure job, you have value?

Speaker 3 (01:16:43):
Hey, hey, you all right?

Speaker 2 (01:16:47):
And then you owe all that child support, you owe
restitution from two thy eleven from them card cracking schemes.

Speaker 3 (01:16:56):
How are you?

Speaker 4 (01:16:57):
Hey, listen.

Speaker 6 (01:17:00):
But on the other side, even if you don't owe it,
even if you paid all your bills, and your bills
is one month paid in advance.

Speaker 4 (01:17:07):
But you hate women.

Speaker 6 (01:17:10):
You get women and you just talk about them, and
you just treat them like trash.

Speaker 4 (01:17:15):
You are not high value.

Speaker 6 (01:17:16):
There's nothing valuable about you at all. If you a
woman and you got your stuff together and you miss
independent and you got it going on, but you out
here just stepping on these dudes.

Speaker 4 (01:17:27):
They don't mean nothing to me. Step on them like
a roach. I take care of myself.

Speaker 6 (01:17:31):
There is no value in you, ma'am at all, none
at all, because I think that we.

Speaker 3 (01:17:37):
Are confusing in today's society.

Speaker 2 (01:17:40):
We are confusing the amount of money that a person
makes with their value.

Speaker 3 (01:17:46):
And that's not the case.

Speaker 2 (01:17:49):
Like just because you bring in it, that means that
you bring in decent income, It does not mean that.

Speaker 6 (01:17:55):
You are Did they take morals and values and nobody.

Speaker 3 (01:18:00):
Even talks about that?

Speaker 6 (01:18:02):
But like in my mind, I'm like, did you take
the elders talking about morals and values and then switch
the values to being the value of a person? That's
because morals and values are out the door these days.

Speaker 2 (01:18:14):
Wait, Eric is saying, and nowadays they expected forty dollars.

Speaker 3 (01:18:21):
What is listen, mule, what is forty dollars?

Speaker 2 (01:18:27):
Is like man, that's coffee, Look like man, coffee money
and all this other stuff. But again, when you're talking
about high value and all of this other stuff, like
high value is what you are, who you are as
a person. How just your your the amount of your

(01:18:49):
paycheck does not value.

Speaker 3 (01:18:52):
It does not equate to what your value is.

Speaker 2 (01:18:56):
And I hope that we we really gotta get that
because here's the thing, like when people lose.

Speaker 3 (01:19:01):
Some people lose their jobs.

Speaker 2 (01:19:04):
And now if you put so much value you put,
your own personal value is attached to the amount of
money that you bring.

Speaker 3 (01:19:14):
What happens if you lose that job?

Speaker 2 (01:19:16):
I mean, the economy is all up and down, it's
all crazy type of things going on.

Speaker 3 (01:19:23):
And you lose that job.

Speaker 2 (01:19:25):
Or something happens, or you have to take a pay
cut or whatever the case is. Does that mean now
you're no longer valuable?

Speaker 6 (01:19:33):
Because these companies are shutting down left and right. Damn
they close several and you're done.

Speaker 3 (01:19:38):
And effective tuesday.

Speaker 4 (01:19:40):
You don't know what going on.

Speaker 3 (01:19:43):
Fixing happen.

Speaker 2 (01:19:44):
So listen, So we better get back on the train
of listen. We gotta be able to build. Listen, we
better listen. You better get you a good partner and
and and get you a good plan to build some stuff.
Because listen, united, we gonna stand divided, We're gonna follow.

Speaker 3 (01:20:03):
That's all I'm gonna say is if.

Speaker 2 (01:20:05):
We don't get it together and start putting a plan
in place and start working towards that plan. So you
sit up here and think, because you because you slang
in some slong dong and thinking, Let you think that
your slong dong is the reason.

Speaker 3 (01:20:21):
Why you valuable. Okay, hmm, that's all right, and let
it get something.

Speaker 2 (01:20:28):
And now you ain't got no health insurance to go
see what is what's going on with it?

Speaker 3 (01:20:33):
And you know you're stuck it too many.

Speaker 2 (01:20:35):
Places, and now you can't get it fixed because the
healthcare ain't no health care and all this other stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:20:40):
Now are you gonna be valuable then?

Speaker 2 (01:20:43):
So I'm just saying, let's not place our values on
superficial things.

Speaker 3 (01:20:49):
Let's just not do that. Maurice. You're saying, but you
know what.

Speaker 2 (01:20:53):
A woman has more than anything, intuition. They just don't
use it.

Speaker 4 (01:20:59):
See, let me help you out.

Speaker 3 (01:21:00):
I'm sorry, miss, I'm sorry.

Speaker 6 (01:21:03):
It's not that we don't use our intuition. The problem
is is that we love that man more than we
love ourselves, because we pray hard and those answers come and.

Speaker 4 (01:21:16):
We be like, God, please tell me he meant for.

Speaker 6 (01:21:19):
Me, Please show me the clues, and the clue pop
up in our face, and we still stay because we're
trying to love this monkey, to show this monkey that
I'm a good woman. I love you now, I'm trying
to ride for you. I'm trying to be here for you.
I'm trying to be that, but you over here and
you acting stupid, And then you tell us we're stupid,

(01:21:39):
We dumb, We don't know what we seeing. Your intuition
is stupid, your homegirl stupid. And then we get the
question ourselves. Now, when you're dealing with a woman who
is one hundred percent confidence in herself, she knows she
get out hand, she go out here and is world.

Speaker 4 (01:21:52):
She's gonna leave you in a heartbeat.

Speaker 6 (01:21:54):
But for those of us who have stayed or stayed
and can't tell you why down to we love him
more than we love ourselves. That love is stronger because
I'm here and I'm trying to love you and I'm
trying to let you see who I am, but you
dumb to see it. And when do they see it?
Miss j When do they see.

Speaker 3 (01:22:15):
It after it's all said and.

Speaker 6 (01:22:17):
Done, when a woman's fed up, when she done had enough,
when her heart has shut down and everything within her,
you could do something, and she just look at you.
Cause it take us a little while to leave. We
don't instantly leave like we could tell y'all. Man, I
was at you know, my high school reunion and y'all
slipped and I fell on the sloan dog. Y'all gonna

(01:22:38):
get up, and y'all gonna cry and leave right away,
right away. And a woman, it's more like, man, I
want to work this out. I want to figure this out, like,
come on, what am I doing wrong? We internalize it
like it's something wrong with us, and it all along
is you and y'all don't stop it until we mad

(01:22:58):
and we gone, and then you want to.

Speaker 4 (01:23:00):
Call it be like a menst baby, I'm sorry, and.

Speaker 6 (01:23:03):
It's too late because I did what jay Z said
and I went on to the next one.

Speaker 2 (01:23:08):
And here's the thing, too, fellas that y'all gotta be
careful with you know, you can stay, you can have
a woman and she can stay with you, and you
can just do all of this wrong stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:23:20):
But like the saying goes, it's a the in line
between love and hate.

Speaker 2 (01:23:26):
She can love you so much, but then you know
what you can do so much dirt, and she know
about it, and she ain't even told.

Speaker 3 (01:23:34):
You that she know, and then she just she starts
to dislike you. She dislikes you.

Speaker 2 (01:23:42):
As a person, and sometimes women are not just because
she hasn't got the strength or she hasn't chipped away.

Speaker 3 (01:23:50):
Of all the love that she has in her heart.

Speaker 2 (01:23:53):
And she hasn't, you know, managed to be able to
walk away from you yet. But if and a lot
of you guys miss it. You miss how she used
to be so sweet to you. Now she's snappy. She
don't care how she talked to you. She don't care anything.

(01:24:13):
All the things that made her the woman that she
was to you as she was trying to be a
good woman to you, now none of that matters.

Speaker 3 (01:24:22):
There's nothing. She doesn't cry anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:24:25):
There's nothing you can do to hurt her because you've
done it all.

Speaker 3 (01:24:32):
Fellas.

Speaker 2 (01:24:33):
That is a dangerous woman and I'm not saying that.
And that's a woman that you know you need to
get away from. And a lot of you guys miss
it until it's too late. You do that final thing.
And now it's just like you know, some of them,
And it's not always all violent. Some days, some guys

(01:24:55):
have come home and she's gone, packed everything up. She
didn't argue with you, she didn't cuss you out, she
didn't destroy nothing, she didn't.

Speaker 3 (01:25:08):
Take none of your stuff. She moved out and she's gone.

Speaker 2 (01:25:14):
Why ain't getting her back, and you're not. She's never
come to This.

Speaker 4 (01:25:18):
Is gonna mourn.

Speaker 6 (01:25:19):
We mourn our losses when we break up. It's like
a mourning. It's like someone passed away. But once we
mourn that loss and we come back from it, it
is nothing that you can say, nor do, nor buy,
nor nothing. My mama not gonna help us get back together.
My daddy ain't gonna help the kids, ain't gonna help
us get back together.

Speaker 4 (01:25:39):
I am done. I'm over you.

Speaker 3 (01:25:40):
Because sometimes we gotta process it. Women.

Speaker 2 (01:25:44):
We have to process the breaking up. We gotta get
rid of it over here and here. Once our heart
in our mind is all three of them, we gotta
let it long.

Speaker 6 (01:25:54):
We gotta mourn down there too, especially if you have
some good when we are mourn that.

Speaker 3 (01:25:58):
This is true, and that's probably a lot of time.
Keep you, keep you there.

Speaker 2 (01:26:01):
You lost, definitely, but it's like when you are disconnected
and see this is one of my guys. A lot
of times like they will miss it, like they don't
even It's like the signs will be there, like if
you ever paid attention to your woman, like if you
in tune with her and you ain't got nothing else
going on.

Speaker 3 (01:26:21):
Her body responds to you in a certain way.

Speaker 2 (01:26:25):
Y'all sessions like if she used to just like drown
you and like you know.

Speaker 3 (01:26:30):
She just oh, you just get that.

Speaker 2 (01:26:33):
But then all of a sudden or it seems like
all of a sudden nothing, whereas you used to have
to go in get twelve thousand towelsands some paper and stuff,
you don't need nothing because her body is not making
it anymore, because now her heart is not in it,
and it's like, you know, you're just going through.

Speaker 3 (01:26:54):
The motions now.

Speaker 6 (01:26:55):
I think for women, it's an invisible line of matching energy.
So when he's excited to see you, you're excited.

Speaker 4 (01:27:05):
To see him.

Speaker 6 (01:27:06):
When he's doing things to make you want to get
up and do certain things, it's because you're feeding off
of him.

Speaker 4 (01:27:16):
And what do we always say, though I fight with it.

Speaker 6 (01:27:19):
He's the leader. So when you're leading me in love
and you're leading me in joy, I'm following behind you,
and I want to do all of these things for you.
But when you feel like, oh, my only role is
to do this, this or that, or I done gave
out all my attention outside, so when I come home,
leave me alone. I just want to sit on the
couch and watch TV. But then when your little sack

(01:27:40):
fill up, you want to come lay next to me,
And then you wonder why I'm not into it. I'm
not into it because you're not giving me a reason
to be into you.

Speaker 3 (01:27:48):
And then and also also too, is or you into
somebody else? Like her body doesn't feel.

Speaker 4 (01:27:55):
Out if they're feeling up outside.

Speaker 2 (01:27:57):
Her body does not recognize your body in anymore. So
it's just like now it's a disconnect. Like you guys
are not even listening. I'm gonna tell you there's this song,
and I love this song. Kisses don't lie. The hugs
don't lie.

Speaker 3 (01:28:11):
The energy does not lie. Like you can hug a person.

Speaker 2 (01:28:16):
And when you were, y'all was in love and everything
was all good, the feeling was mutual. But now you
still feeling that way. But you can hug them and
you can tell like or it's the energy is off,
like you know it, don't it don't feel the same,
or the kiss it's not the same. There is something

(01:28:38):
missing and you can only you only get that when
you are in love. I'm not talking about the people
that you know that's out here. You know I got
my friend over here, my friend over there. You've already
wired yourself and conditioned yourself that this is how it's
gonna be, so you're not gonna have a problem with that.
But for people that think that they are in relationships,

(01:29:01):
real relationships, but then you find out that you in
a relationship, but they in a situationship. See, that's what
those type of things happen again, that energy.

Speaker 3 (01:29:14):
That have y'all.

Speaker 6 (01:29:15):
Okay, fellas, have you ever been with somebody and you
hadn't like, I don't know. Let's just say you're in
a relationship, but you got somebody on the side of
your partner, don't know? And that woman come to you
and she's saying it is everything okay? Are like are
we okay? And you sitting there like, yeah, we're fine.
But you're trying to figure out why is she asking

(01:29:36):
me that? Because the energy is off, and that energy
is telling her something something ain't right.

Speaker 4 (01:29:43):
She don't quite know that you got somebody on the.

Speaker 6 (01:29:45):
Side, or you got a little work wife that you
laughing at her, laughing with and keeking in with, or
you know, your homegirl getting a little close to you.
But when she gets to asking you, it's every like,
are we good something something don't feel right? She's already
feeling it, So you've been slow row she already breaking

(01:30:07):
in because she feel it.

Speaker 2 (01:30:08):
She feel it, she feel it, and it's just like again,
this is for us, this that in love stuff like
this is not again for the chick that you know
the this is not for the people that are not
connected like that because you never tapped into this emotion
to begin with. So everything that you guys do is

(01:30:28):
purely sexual. So yes, you're not going to have this
because you're going through the adrenaline of being with a
person that you want to be with, because that's the
decision that you guys made. So nothing has changed with
you all.

Speaker 3 (01:30:44):
But when you're in a.

Speaker 2 (01:30:46):
Relationship and that's what you agree to. We're in a relationship,
but now you change, you switch it up and you
stop doing what you was doing in the beginning. And
now I'm still doing what I'm doing, but I'm noticing
I'm not.

Speaker 4 (01:31:05):
Feel a little weird.

Speaker 3 (01:31:06):
It's off. It's a little Is it just me as
a little nippy in here? You know? Is it just
a little? You know what we doing? The horrors? I
told Mambo. We used the kids now it's just.

Speaker 6 (01:31:21):
Aren't you in the back of you done? You ain't
even see if I got it yet? Like wait, what
what is who this man?

Speaker 3 (01:31:28):
Hoppo? Who is this man? They do all of this?
What man Hoppo?

Speaker 2 (01:31:40):
You go through all of these situations and it causes
you to ponder and asks yourself, are we in a
real relationship? Is this relationship still real? Or is it
a situationship?

Speaker 4 (01:31:53):
And then what comes next?

Speaker 3 (01:31:55):
Jane?

Speaker 4 (01:31:56):
What are we doing?

Speaker 3 (01:31:57):
Where are we going?

Speaker 4 (01:31:58):
Where we're going with it?

Speaker 3 (01:31:59):
Where's this here?

Speaker 4 (01:32:00):
I love it too fast? Well, I need to know
because something don't feel.

Speaker 2 (01:32:03):
Because the the the train has kind of it's off course.

Speaker 3 (01:32:08):
It's like we this this this the.

Speaker 2 (01:32:10):
Train, the car we like the GPS is off in
this relationship, and I'm trying to figure out where we're
going because what happens is now you got me over here,
you got me in a relationship. I'm acting like we're
in a relationship, but you don't put me.

Speaker 3 (01:32:30):
In the situationship category. I'm beknownst, I'm betwixt to me behooved.

Speaker 4 (01:32:37):
I don't know what's going on.

Speaker 3 (01:32:39):
I'm trying to figure out. I'm still thinking were together
because the last time we talked. We had.

Speaker 4 (01:32:46):
You said, baby, I'm in this.

Speaker 3 (01:32:49):
I'm in it.

Speaker 4 (01:32:50):
One honey, it's me and.

Speaker 3 (01:32:53):
But who else is in it? Because somebody else is
in this? Ish somebody else is in this you know why.

Speaker 2 (01:33:00):
I haven't seen it, but I feel it again, fellas
listen when she love you again? Please go to our
YouTube channel, like and subscribe our channel there. There's a
video there that is said when she loved When somebody
loves you back, you gotta listen. It's some listen Pillo
talk with Jay. It's over there, guys. Look that's gonna

(01:33:23):
be over there. I'm not even gonna get that deep
because it's it's too early in the day and I
just had my coffee. But when you're talking about being
in a relationship, we've made this agreement.

Speaker 3 (01:33:34):
This is what we're doing or is it really? Are
we really?

Speaker 2 (01:33:41):
Because today and this day and age, relationships and dating,
I'm just gonna say I despise. I just these knew
everything new about today. I really despise it. Let me
just say that I despise. I despise this dating thing.
I despise meeting new people. I despise people. I do

(01:34:05):
because people are not especially you know, back in the day,
I used to look forward to getting older. I'm like, oh,
I can't wait to be in a thirty class blas
plus last age because people ground and we ain't gonna
have no games.

Speaker 6 (01:34:21):
They still there, because those are the ones that still
think their kids. Those are the ones that are not
embracing how old you are.

Speaker 4 (01:34:32):
And it's not I'm old, I'm just mature.

Speaker 6 (01:34:36):
It's like we just but you know what, it's a
train going on and I got on it. What's up, girl,
it's the it's the it's the plus plus group on
the tiktoks. I got on that train, and I have
found some amazing women and men that are on grown

(01:34:56):
people stuck and they letting you know, over here, we
don't do that.

Speaker 3 (01:35:01):
Oh he know, we don't.

Speaker 6 (01:35:02):
We don't go on each other's comments and you don't
do this, you don't do that.

Speaker 4 (01:35:07):
No, if it don't apply, let it.

Speaker 3 (01:35:08):
Fly, let it fly, because when you get to a.

Speaker 6 (01:35:11):
Certain age, things shouldn't bother you. It should be rolling
off your back like water. We over here trying to
elevate grown go to the community, drink, drink, help the families.

Speaker 4 (01:35:26):
We ain't over here. Something girl, why she.

Speaker 3 (01:35:29):
She just have my booty rubbed on. You want my.

Speaker 4 (01:35:33):
For that?

Speaker 3 (01:35:34):
That's it?

Speaker 4 (01:35:35):
You just we just rubbed me, daddy, real real good.

Speaker 3 (01:35:38):
With with whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:35:40):
Ring. I don't think I'm having a ring, but you know,
look just wine rub like feeling on your booth.

Speaker 3 (01:35:47):
You know that sounds and real good stare. I'm feeling
on your booty.

Speaker 2 (01:35:53):
You know that's it that it can do it.

Speaker 3 (01:35:58):
I want to.

Speaker 2 (01:36:04):
Boot shout out to KOs listen number one.

Speaker 3 (01:36:09):
I don't care what west Side always all day kills,
but look to bring back sometimes.

Speaker 2 (01:36:21):
Listen, today we are making dating and just being happy
and being in a committed relationship.

Speaker 3 (01:36:29):
Being married today.

Speaker 2 (01:36:31):
That has become as complex as college calculus.

Speaker 3 (01:36:37):
It's just it. It shouldn't be.

Speaker 2 (01:36:41):
So. And that's what we want to try to talk
about tonight. And we kind of want to like, look,
can we just do away with all of these games,
like all of it. Like if you are a person
that a man or a woman, and you are looking
and you desire a serious relationship, then we're over here.

(01:37:02):
If you are a man or a woman and you
don't desire those things, you desire to play games and
you just you want to date, You want to play date. Yes,
there's nothing wrong with that. Go this way and stay
over there with the people that want to do that.
Stop bringing people that are looking for a relationship, that's

(01:37:25):
looking for marriage. Stop tampering with those people and messing
them up when that's not You are in the wrong
dressing room, right, go to dressing room gee, where y'all
can go and do whatever it is that you want
to do.

Speaker 6 (01:37:41):
Stop playing house with people. That's what I call it.
You playing house because you know I want to be
in a serious relationship, and you over here playing because
you want to hold on to a good girl. We
want to hold on to the good girl while you
still out there playing the field. And then you mad
when a good girl gone bad. And then y'all holland,
ain't no good maning out here in the world because
you play with this man, This man that came up

(01:38:01):
in here and took care of you little raggedy kids,
raggedy done, bought them little raggedy nappy here kids, stuff
that took your little raggedy self out done, got your
car when you need it because he wants you and
the little raggedy kids on the bus and fish your.

Speaker 4 (01:38:14):
Little house up.

Speaker 6 (01:38:15):
Paid a couple of your bills and you just sit
up here and play this man for Tyrone because Tyrone
got out of jail.

Speaker 4 (01:38:21):
Now he's sitting over there with a broken.

Speaker 6 (01:38:23):
Heart and just just tore down and now he don't
know how to act silly Nancys in the wrong circle
when he supposed to be over here in the marriage
circle because he wanted to be just like his mom
and his daddy Mary for fifty years.

Speaker 3 (01:38:39):
Oh child, And it's like, God, it is that.

Speaker 2 (01:38:42):
I know it's still possible. It is, you have to,
but it's again. People have to be on the same wavelength.
You gotta be on the same accord, and you have
to have the same goals and the same the same
mindset now, Maurice, he's saying, more games are being played now,
more than ever.

Speaker 3 (01:39:02):
Pretty Tasha is saying, I was laughing at R.

Speaker 2 (01:39:04):
Kelly when I first heard that song and he was
singing that part to the to the that part at
the end of the song, no pretty listen baby.

Speaker 3 (01:39:12):
When we heard it, we was like, whoa, that's where
are we at, bab.

Speaker 2 (01:39:20):
Go ahead on listen. He could drop that note anytime.
But we are like today, Maurice, You're right it's so
many games being played, and it's so many situations just
like we really have to question and it's sad that
we really have to have a conversation like this. But
are you in a real relationship or are you in

(01:39:42):
a situationship?

Speaker 3 (01:39:43):
And let's just determine what that is. So, first of all,
what is a what is a situationship? According to an
online source.

Speaker 2 (01:39:54):
A situationship is less than a relationship, but more than
a casual encounter or a booty coll A situationship refers
to a romantic relationship that is.

Speaker 3 (01:40:08):
And remains undefined.

Speaker 2 (01:40:10):
So you in that gray area. So you're so you're
in a situationship. A lot of times if you here's
a sign, if you asking what are we doing?

Speaker 3 (01:40:21):
What are we.

Speaker 2 (01:40:22):
Chances are you could be in a situationship. And see
that's that toxic bull junkie right there. Now you do
a toxic mess, and you know what, somebody is bound
to get their feelings hurt. And you know what, there's
nothing worse than you guys starting.

Speaker 3 (01:40:44):
Off in a relationship.

Speaker 2 (01:40:46):
But then somebody switches it over, it flips it, and
now you're in a situationship. Because it's possible to go
we started off like we were together, but something changed
and you didn't come back to the table and tell
me that you were no longer.

Speaker 3 (01:41:02):
In like that.

Speaker 2 (01:41:03):
But you started acting like that. You started showing me
that you ain't really down. You ain't really down, playing
the games you do, laying the games you do.

Speaker 4 (01:41:17):
I say, you ain't really down.

Speaker 2 (01:41:21):
Your love was never true, your love was never Oh
I'm going out this weekend house music house, its house,
heads in the house, and you know today okay, but
you never came back to the table to have a conversation.

(01:41:42):
So now you got one person still thinking that they
in a relationship and they still moving relationship.

Speaker 3 (01:41:50):
But now the.

Speaker 2 (01:41:51):
Other person they done stepped out. Now they're doing whatever
they want to do. But they got you in a relationship. Now,
how freaking selfish is that crap?

Speaker 3 (01:42:04):
Right there?

Speaker 2 (01:42:05):
Like if you're tapping out, tap out like that that
you out so I can make a decision, Oh if
I still want to sit up here and be in
a relationship with you while you're in a situationship with me.

Speaker 6 (01:42:19):
But you know what that works in the dating part,
Like I'm over here thinking that we're moving towards.

Speaker 4 (01:42:26):
I'm over here thinking we moving towards something.

Speaker 6 (01:42:28):
You making me feel like, oh I might be the one,
and somewhere along the line you changed your mind and
you didn't tell me. But I'm still over here telling
my girls, like, yeah, girl, he's a one. He doing this,
and he doing that, and we this and we that's
a month's done passed by and meanwhile you over here
doing you that. I think that's still situationship because I'm

(01:42:50):
thinking that we're heading towards something.

Speaker 3 (01:42:53):
It's you and I and like and this.

Speaker 2 (01:42:56):
The thing is, everybody has a right to have a
don't take my choice away from me.

Speaker 3 (01:43:03):
Stop taking my choices away.

Speaker 2 (01:43:05):
Let me decide if I still want to be in
this situationship.

Speaker 3 (01:43:10):
But it's not fair for you to have me going.

Speaker 2 (01:43:13):
And we start off in a relationship and then you switch,
you flip the switch, and now I'm still in a relationship.

Speaker 3 (01:43:20):
And you see, I'm still acting the same way towards.

Speaker 2 (01:43:23):
You, but now you're changing, moving different and oh god forbid,
let you have somebody that's just not willing to be
honest now everything if because when you start feeling it
and you say something, guess what they say?

Speaker 3 (01:43:38):
You nagging? You always complain and don't Bama.

Speaker 2 (01:43:41):
You own some garbage and I'm calling you out on it.
And instead of being grown about it and don't.

Speaker 4 (01:43:48):
Come at me with that, I didn't want to hurt
your feelings.

Speaker 3 (01:43:51):
Hurt my feeling.

Speaker 6 (01:43:52):
I rather you hurt I rather you be honest and
hurt my feelings by telling me how you feel and
what you're going through them. My feelings getting hurt because
I'll just caught you with this gal or I have
seen the text message. I have seen something that that
hurts worse than you being honest and just saying this

(01:44:13):
isn't working for me. You just ain't man enough to
see the hurt and the pain of rejecting a woman.

Speaker 4 (01:44:21):
That's it.

Speaker 6 (01:44:22):
Reject me when you ready to go over there with
Sally Man, go on here, because you gonna you might
catch it.

Speaker 4 (01:44:30):
Be down.

Speaker 6 (01:44:31):
It ain't always gonna end good. We don't always just
walk away. So just keep it one honey, be real.
Have some integrity and they don't.

Speaker 3 (01:44:40):
We don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:44:41):
That's a lost or that's a lost characteristic, that's a lost.

Speaker 6 (01:44:46):
They ever was taught that because this game been played
for too long. And what Jody say, I lie to them,
I lie of you because I love you. I tell
them the truth because I don't care about them. No,
you tell them the truth because they're gonna accept your crap.
You lie to me because you don't want to see
me hurt. You lie to me because you ain't man

(01:45:08):
enough to see my tears. But you man enough to
walk out that door and risk my life? Or are
you leaping with somebody else because you could be bringing
me something back home I can't get rid of.

Speaker 2 (01:45:19):
But it's not even that too, It's not even about
not wanting to see your tears, like they just want
you to still stay over there and love on them
and get them all of this why you give.

Speaker 4 (01:45:29):
Me and being honest. But in being honest and peanuts,
but in being honest, how do you know? I might
not agree with that kid you ever gave me an hour,
But if.

Speaker 6 (01:45:39):
You be honest with me like I in my day
and time, I've said, Look, I ain't trying to be
in a relationship. I didn't been hurt. I'm trying to
get over it like I just want to kick it.
If that's what you're about, then let me know. I'm
looking for a relationship. I'm looking for somebody to settle
down with If that's what you want to do, let
me know. If it's not, let me know. Keep it
real with me. Don't take my choice away from me,

(01:46:01):
even in being real and being honest and giving the
option of saying, let me know what's going on. Even
in my relationships, if your feelings have changed, let me know.
Let me don't stay with me because of the kid,
don't do that. Don't do that because I will heal.
I'm not a glass slipper that's not gonna get put
back together.

Speaker 4 (01:46:20):
Let me know. Keep it real with me.

Speaker 6 (01:46:22):
Don't stay with me if you don't want to be
with me, don't If I ain't, let me know, because
you could kick rocks.

Speaker 4 (01:46:27):
I'm gonna keep kissing my frogs unto that frog turn
into a prince.

Speaker 3 (01:46:32):
I don't care what.

Speaker 4 (01:46:32):
None of you can be so simple, but you rather
make it hard.

Speaker 3 (01:46:40):
Yes, but listen.

Speaker 4 (01:46:41):
Loving you as a.

Speaker 2 (01:46:42):
Battle, Oh geez lord, once it becomes I don't want
to do this, and once it becomes a battle. Here
are a few signs that you could be in a
situationship opposed to a real relationship. The first one is
you deal with inconsistent behavior. Inconsistency is often a common

(01:47:03):
trait of situationships. One minute they talking to you, next minute,
two days, three days a week, two.

Speaker 3 (01:47:10):
Weeks, all this time go back. When you get all.

Speaker 2 (01:47:13):
Of this inconsistency, you can almost rest assured.

Speaker 3 (01:47:16):
You're not in a relationship anymore. You're not in a
real relationship. In hospital, you don't use labels. We don't
need no labels.

Speaker 2 (01:47:24):
Baby, Why why everything gotta be complicated?

Speaker 3 (01:47:28):
Or let's go with the flow common situationship title. You
haven't made an exclusive, you.

Speaker 2 (01:47:38):
Have no long term plans, you lack emotional connection. Now
I gotta push back on this because listen, the one person. Listen,
you gotta push back because now you gotta push it
back now because you had feelings for them, But now
you gotta draw it back because you.

Speaker 3 (01:47:59):
Not sure what's happening with them.

Speaker 2 (01:48:00):
They off on the grid, They off the grid, doing
their own thing, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:48:05):
So now you're no longer connected.

Speaker 2 (01:48:08):
So now they got you up here in a relationship,
You in a relationship with them, and they're now they
off doing their own thing. They got something else going on,
and they fail to inform you.

Speaker 3 (01:48:22):
This is why we.

Speaker 2 (01:48:22):
Have to keep the lines of communication open and just
listen just check in.

Speaker 3 (01:48:28):
From time to time.

Speaker 2 (01:48:29):
We still have to have these conversations just so that
we can make sure that we're still on the same page.
Especially if you are seeing all this things have changed,
and you're seeing all this inconsistent behavior and all these inconsistencies,
it's definitely time to check in and to have a

(01:48:49):
conversation and to see what's going on and listen. If
you know, then you know that you know that they
gone and they line just the whole hold on to you. Now,
you gotta have that conversation with yourself and you have
to make that tough decision.

Speaker 3 (01:49:07):
Am I gonna walk away from this?

Speaker 2 (01:49:10):
Or am I gonna continue to hold on and stay
with this even though I know that they have checked out?
Do I continue to stay or do I go? So, guys,
you have to do what is best for you. Make
whatever decision what is best for you. But know this,
you gotta know if you're in a real relationship or

(01:49:30):
in a situationship, and then you have to move accordingly. Guys,
I wanna thank you so much for tuning in. Please
do me a favor. You all go to our page
and like our page at the j Spot, follow us
on Twitter, at jaspot. Also follow us on Instagram at
The j Spot and Jay Spield j A why e

(01:49:50):
for all three?

Speaker 3 (01:49:51):
Why you add it?

Speaker 2 (01:49:52):
Go to YouTube YouTube YouTube, like and subscribe to our channel,
The J Spot Radio.

Speaker 3 (01:49:57):
Come on, y'all,