September 22, 2022 • 13 mins
Dear Shirley and Steve I am a successful 34 year old married man and I love my wife, but I’m miserable at home. My wife and I met just before Covid and we’ve been married for a year. Our marriage was great until recently and it’s because of my 28 year old stepson that won’t move out of our home. My wife is sixteen years older than I am. When we met, her man child was living with her and she told me it was a temporary arrangement, only during the pandemic...................................
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice on relationships, sex, dating, work, parenting, whatever
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM
dot com and click that button that says Strawberry Letter,
Submit Strawberry Letter, and we could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're gonna read this
(00:22):
one right here here that you never know it could
be yours. Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, it is time for
the Strawberry Letter. Well, my great friend Shirley Strawberry. Okay,
my great friend too, Junior, thank you. Subject. My ground
stepson has to go. Just Shirley and Steve. I'm a successful,
thirty four year old married man and I love my wife,
(00:45):
but I'm miserable at home. My wife and I met
just before COVID and we've been married for one year.
Our marriage was great until recently, and it's because of
my twenty eight year old stepson that won't move out
of our home. My wife is sixteen years older than
I am. When we met, her man child was living
with her and she told me it was a temporary
(01:06):
arrangement only during the pandemic. By the time we got
married and I moved in. My stepson was still living
there and his pregnant girlfriend had moved in again. My
wife said this was only temporary until their baby was born.
Shortly after I moved in, my stepson lost his job
and didn't tell us. We overheard his girlfriend yelling about
(01:28):
him getting fired, and then she moved out. I understood
that he might be ashamed, so I tried to give
him a pep talk. He bowed up at me and
we almost got a fight. I stay on my wife
about pushing him out of the nest, and she's always
she always has an excuse for allowing him to stay.
(01:48):
I hate to come home and see another man fixing
a plate of food that I've worked hard for. I
hate to see another man lying on my couch watching
reality shows instead of looking for a I'm so glad
that I didn't sell my house when we got married,
because I may have to go back to my house
and let her manchild run this one. The fighting is
(02:09):
getting to me, and I told my wife that I
might be moving out soon. She broke down in tears,
but still didn't have sense enough to agree that it's
time for her son to leave. Should I move out
and let my wife figure out if she wants me
or her son. Well, clearly she wants you because she
married you. She just doesn't know how to handle this
(02:30):
situation with her son. As a mom, she's struggling with
kicking her son out. You know, she's thinking, this is
my baby and all that. You know, I don't want
to kick him out. Where's he gonna go? And the
mom isn't putting her marriage first. But in the letter
you did say he's twenty eight years old, right, so
(02:51):
he's good and grown. Normally I would say don't leave.
I would say don't leave your own home. But in
this case, since you have another home and just to
have some peace you don't like the fighting, I say go.
Your wife will will put her sorry grown son out.
She's not gonna do it until you see she sees
(03:13):
that you mean business, okay, And if you leave, that'll
show her that you mean business. You know you want
him out of there. I would I think it would
be a little different, and perhaps you'd be a little
more patient and understanding if he wasn't so lazy and disrespectful.
Not to mention he tried to fight you. You were
trying to help him. He's not even trying to help
(03:33):
himself at this point, and he won't because he's got
it too good at home with mom right now. And
this is him trying to mark his territory because he
was there first. He doesn't realize the dynamics have changed
now since the marriage. Your wife should have let him
know that things would be different because she has a husband,
you know, a new husband now, things like you know,
(03:57):
these are the things that change, like he'll no longer
be the man of the house and that he has
to respect her new husband. Okay, your wife is she
continues to enable this boy, this man, and he's never
going to leave as long as she does that. So
you got to talk to your wife. I know you
guys are newly wedge who've been married a year. Let
her know you want to set a date for her
(04:18):
son to be gone. Then you guys have to talk
to the son together. Let him know what you've decided.
If that doesn't work, if he still doesn't leave, let
her know that you're moving back to your own house
until her son gets out. I mean, he's not even
looking for a job and he's expecting a child. His baby.
Mama didn't even stick around for his foolishness, So why
(04:39):
should you, Steve Wow. We have a couple of problems
in this letter. First of all, when a man writes
a letter, everybody, I want you to understand that he
has reached his fooits in me and don't write letter.
And he wrote a good letter. It's well put. It
(05:01):
ain't him being emotional, it ain't some guy crying. He
got real problem. But there's a lot of things going
on in this letter that some people will overlook, and
I'm not going to do that. He's a thirty four
year old married man. I love my wife, but I'm
miserable at home. My wife and I met before Kovid.
(05:24):
We've been married for a year. Our marriage was great
until recently, and it is because of my twenty eight
year old stepson that won't move out of our home.
I remember this guyme, but thirty four, he now has
a son that's twenty eight. I want you to understand
that dynamic because it's going to come into play. Here's
(05:44):
the next thing, because this is an age issue. My
wife is sixteen years older than I am. Are you
all listening here, You're thirty four, your wife is fifty.
She has a twenty eight your old son, and he's
now your stepson, and you ain't for thirty four. All
(06:07):
of this is in the underbelly of the problem. So
when we met her, man child was living with her.
See man child, that's another term. So when I come back,
I'm gonna be very quick, and I'm gonna point out
(06:29):
to you everything that's wrong, and then I'm gonna tell
my man what I thank you. All right, Steve? All right,
coming up with twenty two minutes after the twenty three
minutes after the hour, we will have part two of
Steve's response to today's strawberry letter. My grown stepson has
to go is the subject. We'll get back into it
(06:51):
right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right,
come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject
grown stepson has to go, Well, he got to go.
He two damn much, and it's creating a problem in
the family. This is a thirty four year old man
(07:14):
that's married to a woman who has a twenty eight
year old son that's only a six year difference, and
his wife is sixteen year old older than him. She fifty.
All of this is the undercurrent of what's wrong in
this letter. Now, when we met her man child, that's
(07:36):
another term that's crazy. Her man child was living with her,
and she told me it was a temporary arrangement only
during the pandemic. By the time we got married and
I moved in, my stepson was still living there and
his pregnant girlfriend moved in. And then your wife said
that was only temporary until a babel was born. And
then shortly after you moved in, your stepson lost his job.
(08:00):
He didn't tell nobody. Then you overheard his girlfriend yelling
at him about getting fired, and then she moved out.
Everybody see what's wrong, but the mama, You see what's wrong.
The girlfriend's he was wrong. Then I understood that he
(08:23):
might be ashamed, So you went in there and tried
to give him a pep talk. He bowled up at
me and we almost got in the fight. See, because
he don't consider you his stepdaddy. You his peer that
came in here and scooped up his mama. This little
young dude inn here, got my mama. She sprung on
(08:46):
this young board. Now you in't here trying to tell
me what to do. I'm surprised y'all didn't fight. I
stay all my wife about pushing him out of the nest,
and she always got an excuse for allowing him to stay.
She's been enabled in this boy his whole life. Now
the girlfriend and frustrated with him because I ain't got
pregnant by this boy. You're frustrated with him because he
(09:09):
a man child, and she keep it getting making excuses
for the man child slash boy slash daddy. I hate
to come up and now his worthy man is right there.
I hate to come home see another man fixing the
play of food that I worked hard bo that's real.
I hate to see another man lying on my couch
(09:31):
watching reality shows instead of looking for a job. That's real.
I'm so glad I didn't sell my house when we
got married, because I may have to go back to
my house and let her man child run this one.
See it can be but two kings in the castle,
see that, and that can only be one queen in
the castle. Most women ain't gonna let another woman come
(09:55):
in their house and run nothing nothing. I don't care
if she just visited and a woman ain't even got
to be married, you're not fitting come in my house.
And run nothing. The fighting is getting to me. And
I told my wife I might be moving out soon.
She broke down in tears, but still didn't have sense
(10:17):
enough to greet this time for her son to lead.
Should I move out and let my wife figure out
if she wants me or her son? Well I would,
That's what I do. I let him make the choice
because I'm not gonna keep making the choice. I'm not
gonna keep coming home miserable. I'm not gonna keep coming
home supporting this this boy. I'm not fitting to do that.
He's enabling her. Surely you made a statement, you know,
(10:43):
and this is what you made that the mother is saying,
And you're right. She probably telling the man, well, where
is he gonna go? Right? As a mom, you know
where is he gonna go? Well, I'll tell you where
he gonna go. He'd go to work. That way, he
needs to go in here laying on the couch watching TV. Man,
(11:07):
Please look, man, marriage is a contract between two people
that have to form a two handed circle. Your wife
keep wanting to put her son in the circle. Her
son is obviously incapable of running a proper relationship. He
can't even keep his girlfriend happy. She gone. Now he's
a father to be. What is he trying to do
(11:30):
about that? Don't seem like nothing because he watching TV
or laying on the couch and make him play. I'm
not gonna do that. I'll go to my house stay there.
You know. Now you can come over here and live
with me and leave your man over there. But then
I'm not paying for that house that he's staying there.
(11:51):
The twenty pandemic is over with. You gotta go get
a damn job. I don't care if you're working clicking
zoom buttons or whatever. It's a job out there, but
I'm not paying. And that's all I have to say
about this letter. And the woman is dead, well yeah, yeah,
(12:12):
I mean the baby mama is out. That should let
her know something right there. She does not want to
be with the trifling twenty eight year old father of
her child. Yeah all right, well, Steve, I think you
know we said it all for this one. You can
post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey
(12:35):
FM on Instagram and Facebook, and don't forget to please
check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming
up at forty six minutes after the hour. Let's see, Junior,
what's it gonna be. You got questions? Yeah, yeah, I
got a good question about what do you see? Okay,
I heard. It's a lot to write down. All right,
(13:00):
we'll deal with that. We'll deal with this. At forty
six minutes after the hour, the newly married Junior has
some questions for for Uncle Steve. Right after this, you're
listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice on relationships, sex, dating, work, parenting, whatever
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM
dot com and click that button that says Strawberry Letter,
Submit Strawberry Letter, and we could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're gonna read this
(00:22):
one right here here that you never know it could
be yours. Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, it is time for
the Strawberry Letter. Well, my great friend Shirley Strawberry. Okay,
my great friend too, Junior, thank you. Subject. My ground
stepson has to go. Just Shirley and Steve. I'm a successful,
thirty four year old married man and I love my wife,
(00:45):
but I'm miserable at home. My wife and I met
just before COVID and we've been married for one year.
Our marriage was great until recently, and it's because of
my twenty eight year old stepson that won't move out
of our home. My wife is sixteen years older than
I am. When we met, her man child was living
with her and she told me it was a temporary
(01:06):
arrangement only during the pandemic. By the time we got
married and I moved in. My stepson was still living
there and his pregnant girlfriend had moved in again. My
wife said this was only temporary until their baby was born.
Shortly after I moved in, my stepson lost his job
and didn't tell us. We overheard his girlfriend yelling about
(01:28):
him getting fired, and then she moved out. I understood
that he might be ashamed, so I tried to give
him a pep talk. He bowed up at me and
we almost got a fight. I stay on my wife
about pushing him out of the nest, and she's always
she always has an excuse for allowing him to stay.
(01:48):
I hate to come home and see another man fixing
a plate of food that I've worked hard for. I
hate to see another man lying on my couch watching
reality shows instead of looking for a I'm so glad
that I didn't sell my house when we got married,
because I may have to go back to my house
and let her manchild run this one. The fighting is
(02:09):
getting to me, and I told my wife that I
might be moving out soon. She broke down in tears,
but still didn't have sense enough to agree that it's
time for her son to leave. Should I move out
and let my wife figure out if she wants me
or her son. Well, clearly she wants you because she
married you. She just doesn't know how to handle this
(02:30):
situation with her son. As a mom, she's struggling with
kicking her son out. You know, she's thinking, this is
my baby and all that. You know, I don't want
to kick him out. Where's he gonna go? And the
mom isn't putting her marriage first. But in the letter
you did say he's twenty eight years old, right, so
(02:51):
he's good and grown. Normally I would say don't leave.
I would say don't leave your own home. But in
this case, since you have another home and just to
have some peace you don't like the fighting, I say go.
Your wife will will put her sorry grown son out.
She's not gonna do it until you see she sees
(03:13):
that you mean business, okay, And if you leave, that'll
show her that you mean business. You know you want
him out of there. I would I think it would
be a little different, and perhaps you'd be a little
more patient and understanding if he wasn't so lazy and disrespectful.
Not to mention he tried to fight you. You were
trying to help him. He's not even trying to help
(03:33):
himself at this point, and he won't because he's got
it too good at home with mom right now. And
this is him trying to mark his territory because he
was there first. He doesn't realize the dynamics have changed
now since the marriage. Your wife should have let him
know that things would be different because she has a husband,
you know, a new husband now, things like you know,
(03:57):
these are the things that change, like he'll no longer
be the man of the house and that he has
to respect her new husband. Okay, your wife is she
continues to enable this boy, this man, and he's never
going to leave as long as she does that. So
you got to talk to your wife. I know you
guys are newly wedge who've been married a year. Let
her know you want to set a date for her
(04:18):
son to be gone. Then you guys have to talk
to the son together. Let him know what you've decided.
If that doesn't work, if he still doesn't leave, let
her know that you're moving back to your own house
until her son gets out. I mean, he's not even
looking for a job and he's expecting a child. His baby.
Mama didn't even stick around for his foolishness, So why
(04:39):
should you, Steve Wow. We have a couple of problems
in this letter. First of all, when a man writes
a letter, everybody, I want you to understand that he
has reached his fooits in me and don't write letter.
And he wrote a good letter. It's well put. It
(05:01):
ain't him being emotional, it ain't some guy crying. He
got real problem. But there's a lot of things going
on in this letter that some people will overlook, and
I'm not going to do that. He's a thirty four
year old married man. I love my wife, but I'm
miserable at home. My wife and I met before Kovid.
(05:24):
We've been married for a year. Our marriage was great
until recently, and it is because of my twenty eight
year old stepson that won't move out of our home.
I remember this guyme, but thirty four, he now has
a son that's twenty eight. I want you to understand
that dynamic because it's going to come into play. Here's
(05:44):
the next thing, because this is an age issue. My
wife is sixteen years older than I am. Are you
all listening here, You're thirty four, your wife is fifty.
She has a twenty eight your old son, and he's
now your stepson, and you ain't for thirty four. All
(06:07):
of this is in the underbelly of the problem. So
when we met her, man child was living with her.
See man child, that's another term. So when I come back,
I'm gonna be very quick, and I'm gonna point out
(06:29):
to you everything that's wrong, and then I'm gonna tell
my man what I thank you. All right, Steve? All right,
coming up with twenty two minutes after the twenty three
minutes after the hour, we will have part two of
Steve's response to today's strawberry letter. My grown stepson has
to go is the subject. We'll get back into it
(06:51):
right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right,
come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject
grown stepson has to go, Well, he got to go.
He two damn much, and it's creating a problem in
the family. This is a thirty four year old man
(07:14):
that's married to a woman who has a twenty eight
year old son that's only a six year difference, and
his wife is sixteen year old older than him. She fifty.
All of this is the undercurrent of what's wrong in
this letter. Now, when we met her man child, that's
(07:36):
another term that's crazy. Her man child was living with her,
and she told me it was a temporary arrangement only
during the pandemic. By the time we got married and
I moved in, my stepson was still living there and
his pregnant girlfriend moved in. And then your wife said
that was only temporary until a babel was born. And
then shortly after you moved in, your stepson lost his job.
(08:00):
He didn't tell nobody. Then you overheard his girlfriend yelling
at him about getting fired, and then she moved out.
Everybody see what's wrong, but the mama, You see what's wrong.
The girlfriend's he was wrong. Then I understood that he
(08:23):
might be ashamed, So you went in there and tried
to give him a pep talk. He bowled up at
me and we almost got in the fight. See, because
he don't consider you his stepdaddy. You his peer that
came in here and scooped up his mama. This little
young dude inn here, got my mama. She sprung on
(08:46):
this young board. Now you in't here trying to tell
me what to do. I'm surprised y'all didn't fight. I
stay all my wife about pushing him out of the nest,
and she always got an excuse for allowing him to stay.
She's been enabled in this boy his whole life. Now
the girlfriend and frustrated with him because I ain't got
pregnant by this boy. You're frustrated with him because he
(09:09):
a man child, and she keep it getting making excuses
for the man child slash boy slash daddy. I hate
to come up and now his worthy man is right there.
I hate to come home see another man fixing the
play of food that I worked hard bo that's real.
I hate to see another man lying on my couch
(09:31):
watching reality shows instead of looking for a job. That's real.
I'm so glad I didn't sell my house when we
got married, because I may have to go back to
my house and let her man child run this one.
See it can be but two kings in the castle,
see that, and that can only be one queen in
the castle. Most women ain't gonna let another woman come
(09:55):
in their house and run nothing nothing. I don't care
if she just visited and a woman ain't even got
to be married, you're not fitting come in my house.
And run nothing. The fighting is getting to me. And
I told my wife I might be moving out soon.
She broke down in tears, but still didn't have sense
(10:17):
enough to greet this time for her son to lead.
Should I move out and let my wife figure out
if she wants me or her son? Well I would,
That's what I do. I let him make the choice
because I'm not gonna keep making the choice. I'm not
gonna keep coming home miserable. I'm not gonna keep coming
home supporting this this boy. I'm not fitting to do that.
He's enabling her. Surely you made a statement, you know,
(10:43):
and this is what you made that the mother is saying,
And you're right. She probably telling the man, well, where
is he gonna go? Right? As a mom, you know
where is he gonna go? Well, I'll tell you where
he gonna go. He'd go to work. That way, he
needs to go in here laying on the couch watching TV. Man,
(11:07):
Please look, man, marriage is a contract between two people
that have to form a two handed circle. Your wife
keep wanting to put her son in the circle. Her
son is obviously incapable of running a proper relationship. He
can't even keep his girlfriend happy. She gone. Now he's
a father to be. What is he trying to do
(11:30):
about that? Don't seem like nothing because he watching TV
or laying on the couch and make him play. I'm
not gonna do that. I'll go to my house stay there.
You know. Now you can come over here and live
with me and leave your man over there. But then
I'm not paying for that house that he's staying there.
(11:51):
The twenty pandemic is over with. You gotta go get
a damn job. I don't care if you're working clicking
zoom buttons or whatever. It's a job out there, but
I'm not paying. And that's all I have to say
about this letter. And the woman is dead, well yeah, yeah,
(12:12):
I mean the baby mama is out. That should let
her know something right there. She does not want to
be with the trifling twenty eight year old father of
her child. Yeah all right, well, Steve, I think you
know we said it all for this one. You can
post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey
(12:35):
FM on Instagram and Facebook, and don't forget to please
check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming
up at forty six minutes after the hour. Let's see, Junior,
what's it gonna be. You got questions? Yeah, yeah, I
got a good question about what do you see? Okay,
I heard. It's a lot to write down. All right,
(13:00):
we'll deal with that. We'll deal with this. At forty
six minutes after the hour, the newly married Junior has
some questions for for Uncle Steve. Right after this, you're
listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.
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