Whose Side Is He On

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter and we could be reading
your letter live on the air, just like we're going
to read this one right here, right now, and you
never know it could be yours. All right, buckle up,

(00:24):
hold on site. We got it for you here. It
is Strawberry Letter. Subject whose side is he on? Dear
Stephen Shirley. My husband and I bicker a lot, and
he repeats things to his mama and daddy, and they
judge me from what he's told them. Over the holidays,
we went to his parents' house in Ohio, and I
was miserable the entire time because his mom is a trip.

(00:48):
Before we got married, we had a huge argument in
front of his parents, and his mother told me that
I should know my place with my husband and stop
challenging him whenever he tells me things. I understand that
and promised myself that I would do better. Her advice
has continued, and four years later, she still only has
advice from me when my husband and I get into arguments. Yes,

(01:12):
we argue over stupid stuff all the time. His dad
knows the stuff is stupid, but he's always on my
husband's side. I texted an online therapist for help and
was told that if the group thinks I'm wrong, then
I'm wrong, So I need your opinion. I take care
of all the laundry and dry cleaning. My husband will

(01:33):
want to wear a particular shirt one day, but it's
still at the dry cleaners. I told him to communicate
with me, and that can stop happening. He will say
things like, we don't have any children, so why can't
I go to the dry cleaner more often? His parents
have agreed with him on little issues like this, when
the underlying issue is they're mad because they want grandchildren

(01:54):
and I'm not ready. I'm not having a baby with
a man that talks down to me and pick fights
over petty bs. When his mom talks to me crazy
and i'd tell her to watch her tone, he sides
with her. I don't have my family, and I don't
have my family in our personal affairs, so why can't
he keep them out of our business? Well? I think

(02:15):
that's kind of simple. It seems like they've coddled him
all of his life, and he's really never stood up
to them about anything, especially you know about you, his spouse.
They still treat him like he's their little boy, and
anyone who speaks up or challenges him like you is
the enemy or she should know her place or whatever.

(02:35):
And he never followed that principle in the Bible that says,
you know, to leave all others and cleave to the wife.
He doesn't put you or the marriage first. There's also
a saying that goes what happens in the house stays
in the house or house business. And there's no way
that as a grown man, he should be running back
to his parents telling them what goes on at home.

(02:58):
Of course they're going to dislike you and resent you
if he's only telling one side of the story. I mean,
do you and your husband even like each other? Because
it doesn't sound like it. I mean, what is all
this arguing and fighting about anyway? And why are you
guys arguing in front of his folks. You really need

(03:18):
to stop that because if you do it in front
of them, they're most likely going to be in the business.
I would say, don't even respond when his mom talks
to you crazy because telling her to watch her tone
is disrespectful and that's why he sides with her. You know,
it just sounds crazy. That sounds crazy too. I think
this can be fixed if you guys stop being so

(03:40):
petty with each other and just grow up. That both
of you should seek marriage marital counseling, and please don't
have a baby until after you finish your therapy sessions, please,
Steve Well well, well, well, this type of letter that
I specializing because it's called reading between the lines? Whose

(04:04):
side is he on? When you say who? Who do
you mean? Who is he? She must be referring to
her husband. Well throughout the letter it ain't on your side,
So let's just figure this out. This Stephen Sherley, my
husband and I bicker a lot that he repeats things
to his mom and dadd and they judge me from

(04:25):
what he's told him Mama's boy. Over the holidays, we
went to his parents' house in Ohio, and I was
miserable the entire time because his mom is a trip
mama's boy. Before we got married, we got into a
huge argument in front of his parents and his mother
told me that I should know my place with my

(04:45):
husband and stopped challenging him whenever he tells me things.
Mama's boy. I understood that and promised myself that I
would do better. You can't. You're married to a mama's boy.
Her advice has continued. That's caused he's a mama's boy,

(05:05):
and four years later, she still only has advice from
me when my husband and I get into argument. Mama's boy, Yes,
we all go over stupid stuff all the time. His
dad knows the stuff is stupid, but he's always on
my husband's side. He's scared at a mama too. I

(05:29):
text and online now here we go. I text and
online therapist for help and was told if the group
thinks I'm wrong, then I'm wrong. Now you know me
and therapist. But therapy is real. So if you're gonna go,
I suggest you get offline. Sound to me like you

(05:51):
need to go, sit somewhere and see somebody lie see
you online telling them what's wrong and they can't see
your face. Therapists work better when they can see your
damn face, when they can hear you heavy breathing. You
know when they when they do a response you don't like,
and you fold your arms see all this can't come

(06:12):
cross on the line. You know, like even when we zoom,
you can't tell the whole story when we zoom. See,
you don't really know what I'm doing right now, not everything.
You can't see both my hands. You don't know what
I'm doing. See, that's why on line therapy might not
be best for you. You need to take your ass
somewhere and see somebody live. Thank you wrong? Then you're wrong.

(06:36):
Then we want to hear you go talk to the
group instead of the therapy. Hold that thought, Steve. Okay,
we'll have part two of your response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter, subject
whose side is he on? We'll get back into it
right after this. You're listening show, all right, Steve, come on,

(06:57):
let's recap today's strawberry letter, the subject who side is
he on? Well, you know, we didn't talked about this
being a mama's boy, and I think that's what's true
because a lot of stuff in here. When they argue,
she takes his side mama's boy. Every time they have
a dispute, he run home and tell his mom and
daddy mama's boy. You know, you ought to know your

(07:18):
place with your husband and stop challenging whenever he tell you.
Think that's what his mama said to you. That's called
her mama's boy. His father know y'all all over stupid stuff,
but he takes his son's side too. That's called the
daddy's scared of the mama too. Okay, now we didn't
got this cleared up. The mama's running things over there,
So now you didn't got so tired of this that

(07:41):
you didn't decided to go to an online therapist for him,
and was told that if the group thinks I'm wrong,
I'm wrong. My suggestion is you need to quit going
online to this therapist and you need to take your
ass down to her office. You need somebody to see
your face in your therapists. You need somebody. He's somebody

(08:01):
to hear you heavy breathing, didn't you see? A therapist
can help you better if they see all the nuances
of your frustration. Lip smacking, heavy breathing, underbreath muthering. They

(08:23):
needs to hit this a therapist to help you. They
need to hear this. You ain't getting it online. So
I suggest going down that lab. Now here we go
so I need your opinion. I take care of all
our laundry and dry cleaning. My husband will want to
wear a particular shirt one day, but it's still at

(08:44):
the dry cleaners. I told him to communicate with me,
and that can stop happening. He will say things like,
we don't have any children, so why can't I go
through the dry cleaners more often. Let's take this line
right here, this poe As statement right here. You do
all the dry cleaning. Your husband wants to wear a
particular shirt one day, but it's at the dry cleaner.

(09:05):
You told him to communicate with you. Monam, his ass
need two shirts, that's all this his? See what is
you in my ass about this wreck? Funky little shirt
you're talking about when you just need another shirt? And
then he gonna tell you we ain't got no kids.
You ought to be able to go to the dry
cleaning more. Well, if we ain't got no kids, you
all to be buying another damn shirt. See, you gotta

(09:28):
get this stuff off you. You keep letting them dump
stuff on you with his inadequate behind. Now his short
comes as a man. He got to run to his
mom with everything he can't a forward two shirts. What
y'all off in to have a baby for? You know
what much stuff you got to buy for a baby?
He can't even before another damn shirt, y'all agging about

(09:48):
stupid stuff. He wanted to particularly shirt and it's at
the dry cleaning. You Jeff Walter damned shirt Monday. The
damn it is Thursday. Everybody gonna see you with that
damned shirt though, because you don't you like it? Because
he got the little bumble bee on the college. He
got one damn Guccie shirt. Now he won't everybody to
see he got it on. Told you not to buy

(10:10):
that shirt with the bumble bee on neck anyway, because
everybody gonna know it's the same damn shirt with you, Poe.
You can't get extravagant stuff. You gotta stay simple. Take
your heads down to Mace's and get you white shirt
and you can wear it many times you want you.
Oh no, you're gonna go down there and get the
Guccia white shirt with the be on the college. Now,
I guess what everybody? Now, you got nicknames cheerios? You

(10:32):
know they calling your stuff at work. You don't even
know nothing about cheerios. Why they call it? You know,
you know, Cheerio got the little bee on it. You know,
Black people have slick stuff when they do. His parents
have agreed with him on little issues like this, when
the underlying issue is they're mad because they want a

(10:52):
grandchildren and I'm not ready and I'm not having a
baby with a man that talks down to me and
picks fights over petty bs. You, young lady, are absolutely correct.
It's your body, it's your life, and it's your husband.
When his mom talks to me crazy, I tell her

(11:12):
to watch your tone. He sides with herne because you
don't got tired him. So now, Shirley, you're gonna be
the mother and I'm gonna be the daughter, and I'm
gonna tell you how the ways you can have this
because you because this brigs ain't gonna make it no way. Now. Baby,
you know you're supposed to listen to your husband and
go get that shirt out the cleaners. Baby, Yes, baby,

(11:35):
the baby. Don't call me a baby. He the baby. Well,
it's a term of endearment, honey, don't take offense to it.
Yeah yeah, yeah, honey, honey, if he had some money,
we could have two shirts. Well, sweetie, it sounds like
you have an attitude. What's the problem. I got an
attitude because I didn't married your damn boy. That's why

(11:59):
I got well to he He is my baby. He
is my baby, but he's a grown man. He married you.
He couldn't be a baby and a grown man at
the same time. Lady, you can call me mamma. You
call you sweetie. Now, I'm nothing to call your mama.
You're already too many mamas around here. Now, what is

(12:21):
this attitude? I got a mama. Well, that's what the
attitude is. I got a mama and I left her
to marry my husband, who is stuck up under his mama.
You need to cut the apron strings and what you
need to do, well, you know what. I think the
apron strings are cut. You have your house, we have
our house, and we could along just fine. What's what's

(12:43):
the problem? Baby? Nobody like you. You're mad a lot.
We ain't getting along. We're about to get home. It's
what we're fitting to do. And I'm not fitting to
have a grandchild with that ragged ass boy. You than may.
My baby is just fine. You just got to know
how to love them. Listen, we're out of time. Steve,

(13:04):
Please leave your comments on Today's letter on Instagram and
I'm surely now and check out the Struwberry You're standing character.
Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand coming up
next day, his Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this,
you're listening to The Stave Harvey Morning Show