May 4, 2022 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m a single mother of an honor student that got a full ride scholarship to a predominantly white college in the northeast. We’re southerners and he was raised with southern manners. He moved into the dorms and found out he had a black roommate and he was excited. His roommate is a northeasterner and he is a bit rough around the edges...........................................
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, him more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve RVFM dot com.
All you have to do is click submit Strawberry Letter.
We could be reading your letter live on the air,
just like we're going to read this one right here,
right now, and you never know, it could be yours.
(00:21):
You never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We
got it for you here. It is a Strawberry Letter.
Thank you nephew. Subject on campus clowning. Dear Stephen Shirley,
I'm a single mother of an honor student that got
a full right scholarship to a predominantly white college in
the Northeast. We're Southern nursed and he was raised with
Southern manners. He moved into the dorms and found out
(00:44):
he had a black roommate, and he was excited. His
roommate is a Northeasterner and he's a bit rough around
the edges. Within two months, my son at used my
credit card to buy new clothes and he no longer
said yes, ma'am when we talked. He said that was
slave talk, and he wasn't with that. After four months
(01:04):
on campus, I got a call from the hall director
at his dorm because he and his roommate had been
smoking weeds. He said it was the first time trying it,
and he said he couldn't promise that he wouldn't do
it again. He also told me that he'd met a
female and she was mixed. I told him to send
me a picture, and he sent a selfie and she
(01:25):
looked all white to me. He's gotten in trouble for
this girl being in his room after curfew, and all
I can do is tell him to be careful. I
didn't prepare my son for this, but his street smart
roommate is more than happy to pick up the slack
for me, usually in the background on the phone, talking
loudly and using profanity while I'm trying to talk to
(01:47):
my son. Even though I felt my son didn't deserve
it yet, his father decided he could have his car
on campus. Two days after he got it, he and
the girl were caught having sex in the car. I
let his father handle that, and all I did was
pray for him. He is on campus clowning, and I
don't know what to do. He's not the young man
(02:09):
I raised. His father has told me it will all
be fine as long as our son's grades don't drop.
Is this normal or should I pop up often to
see what he's up to. It seems to me, Mom,
one of the problems you're having is the fact that
he's from the south and he's up north. Naturally, Yeah,
you should worry about him. You didn't raise him this way.
(02:31):
I understand your concern. I think you did a great
job as a mom and raised your son to the
best of your ability. I mean, there are no manuals,
no instructions on having kids, and you know, raise him
and we just do the best we can. And most
of the time we bring them up in the way
we were brought up, or you know, sometimes even the opposite,
But most of the time we raise our kids like
we were raised and we all want better for our kids.
(02:55):
And you did that. I mean, he's an honor student
with a full right scholarship. Very impressive. Again, I think
you've done a great job. Mom. You're a praying mother,
So keep doing what you're doing as far as that's concerned,
and you've got to stop worrying. I mean, yeah, he's
wildent at school right now. With this girl and in
the car that his father gave him having sex. And
(03:16):
you know what you don't want is for the school
to make any more phone calls. You don't want your
son to lose a scholarship. You don't want your son,
you know, for its greats to drop in all of that. So, yeah,
he does need supervision, but you know that's what kids
do when they go to college. You know, they don't
have that supervision, so they do. While I think it
would help in this situation if his father were more involved.
(03:39):
His father seems to think, oh, it's gonna all be fine,
but I do think that his father should have more
of a presence. You know, maybe I don't know how
he was throughout his life. I see now that he
gave him a car to go to school, but I
think that would help. If you guys had to sit
down with your son and try to talk to him
and tell him what's at stake, you know, what he
(04:00):
could possibly lose, maybe he'll listen and you know, get
it together. I think you should talk to your ex
husband or your baby daddy, your son's father about this
because you definitely don't want any more calls from school
or your son to Louses scholarship because he's up in
the north, wild Steve, this is a common problem. Yeah,
(04:27):
this is a common letter. This is a common situation.
Take all the surprise out for those of you that
are about to send children to college. Take all the
surprise out. Oh my god, how could he you know?
This is he from the south. He don't went up
to the northeast. Yeah. I don't give a damn. My
(04:48):
college was forty miles from my house. Didn't have a
damn thing to do when hours of southern and went
up north right, I went straight buck why farty miles
from my damn house with all white roommates to the
(05:14):
point where after the two weeks was over, they was
down there in line. I walked past. I saw him
all in lines. Any man, what y'all doing down here?
They looked all shame and stuff. They was in the
damn room, changed line. I ain't understand that way. I
was too much for them. The black dude was down
there being black. Somebody told me, when you go to
(05:35):
Kent State, you're gonna have these three white roommates. It's
gonna be culture shock for who. It ain't been to
d from me. So lady, I'm sorry. You know, he
went to an all white university up north, and he's
got excited when he found out his roommate was black. Great,
he's a bit rough around the edges. He hood boy.
(05:58):
Within two months with my son had used my credit
card to buy new clothes, and he no longer said yes,
ma'am when we talked. He said that was slave talk,
and he wasn't with that. That would have gotten my
lips swoll up to the size of my head. I
said yes, ma'am to my mama till she passed. I
(06:20):
don't know where slave talk came from. Just the way,
this is where you're gonna talk to your mamma. Now
you call the slave talk or whatever you want to,
but that's why we're doing it. So just you usually
asked me to get the slave that's what. Don't. Don't
come in here with that mess. Leave We come back
our straight in this whole let out very easy, all right, Steve,
(06:42):
Thank you. Coming up at twenty three minutes after be
our part two of Steve's response to the letter for
today on Campus Clowning. We'll be back right after this.
You're listening show, all right, Come on, Steve Let's recap
today's Strawberry letter. The subject is on campus clouding. This
(07:02):
lady's upset because she didn't send her son to college
up north all White University or full ride scholarship. He's
an honor student. He gets excited because he has a
black roommate, and then he walked in and the black
roommate has been a bad influence on him. So you
think you think it's because you from the south and
you didn't send him up north. Like I said, I
(07:22):
was forty miles from my house and the same thing
happening here, and they ain't had nothing. I went to
college up north and wasn't northern or from the south.
So I'm I am this letter. But you know he said,
you said, when y'all talk, he don't say us, yes,
ma'am no more because he said that slave talking he
with that. Well, okay, I don't know who you think
(07:44):
paying for all this hill, but your AS's better get
the slave. After four months on campus, I got a
call from the hall director in this dorm because he
and his roommate had been smoking weed. Oh lord, Now,
he said it was his first time. But then he
also told you he can't promise you he ain't gonna
do it again. So now you look, boy, if they're
(08:06):
smoking weed, a lot of people smoke weed. That's coming.
Mostly everybody in my college smoked it. Yeah, it's all right,
he'll be all right. Okay, So now he's smoking weed,
and he finished smoking again. He also told you that
he met a female she was mixed. You told him
to send you a picture. He sent yourselfie. She looked
all white to me. It's because she is. She's white,
(08:28):
mixed up with the black dude, which is your son.
That's what he meant by mixed. She has mixed feelings
about race. That's what he meant about mixed. That's okay.
He's dating a white girl. That ain't no big deal.
He's gotten in trouble for this girl being in his
room after kirkfew and all I can do is tell
him to be careful. Yes, ma'am, that's all you could
(08:48):
tell me. I didn't prepare my son for this, but
his street street smart roommates more than happy to pick
up the slack for me. Well, let's thank god for
the room. Then. See you're mad at the roommate, but
you just said he picking up a slack because you
didn't prepare your son for none of this. Matter of fact,
you sheltered him, and thus the problem we have. You
(09:12):
have a sheltered child that that went to college and
now he gets to do like he wanted to do.
You can not shelter these children, folks, because when you
let him out the gate, when you do open the gate,
the ass is gone. You ain't gonna be able to
find him in the field when you keep him locked in.
I had a partner named Butcher Boy. When he got
to college, he was everything whoa This boy wasn't man.
(09:36):
He was only when he was the Central State moment
Kent State, they're going to see him, was wonderful. Then
he went to Ohio State. I just love going to
see this boy. He has so much stuff going on.
The girls that was in his room. I just was
just thanking the Lord for him. Anyway, he's usually on
the background of his phone talking loudly and using profanity
(09:56):
while I'm trying to talk to my son. This is
the roommate. And even I felt my son didn't deserve it.
Yet his father decided he could have his car on campus.
That was a mistake. Two days after he got it.
He and the girl were called having sex in the car. Well, okay,
(10:19):
what did you think he's gonna do with the car? See,
in college, it ain't just a car. It ain't just transportation.
It's a motor end. RB, it's a motor end. It's lodging,
(10:39):
it's everything. I let his father handle that, and all
I did was pray for him. Here you go, he's
on campus clowning, and I don't know what to do.
This is not the young man I raised. It is
it is a young man you raised, Except you raised
him and you sheltered him. So now this is what
this is you. This is the result of the sheltering. See,
(11:02):
when you ain't there to watch him, he get to
do what he want to do. So he'd been thinking
all this stuff while he was in high school. He
just got a chance to do it now. And he
like white girls too. He knew that back in high school.
He wouldn't Right on up there, ain't got anymore. Ain't
nothing wrong with that. Let that boy leave hill. Gonna
be all right? Huh. His father has told me to
(11:24):
all be fine as long as our sons grave don't drop.
That's where the daddy wrong. Because you don't think you're
grave friend to take a drop. You're saying the mistaken
about this right here, you're all out here having sex
in the cost, smoking weed. All this is too new
to you. You don't even know how. He don't even
know how to place this stuff in the proper order.
He had having sex, he got breaking curfew, smoking weed, cussing.
(11:45):
He don't like slave talk no more. You ain't, yes, ma'am.
At first report card y'all got? Could you send it
to me? Because I promise you he ain't. Never Little
Steve Harvey, he want to see. Yeah, it's gonna be bad.
It's gonna be bad for a minute. Then he gonna
get himself together when he sees his future slipping off
(12:06):
the winner. So he gonna go through this phase. He's
gonna get in a little bit of trouble. It might
even get on academic pro. But it's hard to go
from honor roll to academic pro. It's very easy for me.
I was a C student in high school. He immediately
went to a very low D in college. Immediately, Please
don't do that. Immediately, I will do a very low
(12:27):
D in college. Fought like a dog. Well, I'm just
just sco this letter. He is Yeah, tan you Sherley
college boy. Whoa you got to get that academic probation
put on you for you to make the jest. You
realize you ain't coming back. They put it on me
so many times. Finally they just sent a letter to
(12:47):
the house saying, hey man, please please don't bring your
ass all right, thank you. Please leave your comments on
Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Facebook at Steve Harvey FM,
and check out the Strawberry Letter or podcast on demand
as well. Now coming up next it is Junior and
Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to This Day
Harvey Morning Show.
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, him more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve RVFM dot com.
All you have to do is click submit Strawberry Letter.
We could be reading your letter live on the air,
just like we're going to read this one right here,
right now, and you never know, it could be yours.
(00:21):
You never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We
got it for you here. It is a Strawberry Letter.
Thank you nephew. Subject on campus clowning. Dear Stephen Shirley,
I'm a single mother of an honor student that got
a full right scholarship to a predominantly white college in
the Northeast. We're Southern nursed and he was raised with
Southern manners. He moved into the dorms and found out
(00:44):
he had a black roommate, and he was excited. His
roommate is a Northeasterner and he's a bit rough around
the edges. Within two months, my son at used my
credit card to buy new clothes and he no longer
said yes, ma'am when we talked. He said that was
slave talk, and he wasn't with that. After four months
(01:04):
on campus, I got a call from the hall director
at his dorm because he and his roommate had been
smoking weeds. He said it was the first time trying it,
and he said he couldn't promise that he wouldn't do
it again. He also told me that he'd met a
female and she was mixed. I told him to send
me a picture, and he sent a selfie and she
(01:25):
looked all white to me. He's gotten in trouble for
this girl being in his room after curfew, and all
I can do is tell him to be careful. I
didn't prepare my son for this, but his street smart
roommate is more than happy to pick up the slack
for me, usually in the background on the phone, talking
loudly and using profanity while I'm trying to talk to
(01:47):
my son. Even though I felt my son didn't deserve
it yet, his father decided he could have his car
on campus. Two days after he got it, he and
the girl were caught having sex in the car. I
let his father handle that, and all I did was
pray for him. He is on campus clowning, and I
don't know what to do. He's not the young man
(02:09):
I raised. His father has told me it will all
be fine as long as our son's grades don't drop.
Is this normal or should I pop up often to
see what he's up to. It seems to me, Mom,
one of the problems you're having is the fact that
he's from the south and he's up north. Naturally, Yeah,
you should worry about him. You didn't raise him this way.
(02:31):
I understand your concern. I think you did a great
job as a mom and raised your son to the
best of your ability. I mean, there are no manuals,
no instructions on having kids, and you know, raise him
and we just do the best we can. And most
of the time we bring them up in the way
we were brought up, or you know, sometimes even the opposite,
But most of the time we raise our kids like
we were raised and we all want better for our kids.
(02:55):
And you did that. I mean, he's an honor student
with a full right scholarship. Very impressive. Again, I think
you've done a great job. Mom. You're a praying mother,
So keep doing what you're doing as far as that's concerned,
and you've got to stop worrying. I mean, yeah, he's
wildent at school right now. With this girl and in
the car that his father gave him having sex. And
(03:16):
you know what you don't want is for the school
to make any more phone calls. You don't want your
son to lose a scholarship. You don't want your son,
you know, for its greats to drop in all of that. So, yeah,
he does need supervision, but you know that's what kids
do when they go to college. You know, they don't
have that supervision, so they do. While I think it
would help in this situation if his father were more involved.
(03:39):
His father seems to think, oh, it's gonna all be fine,
but I do think that his father should have more
of a presence. You know, maybe I don't know how
he was throughout his life. I see now that he
gave him a car to go to school, but I
think that would help. If you guys had to sit
down with your son and try to talk to him
and tell him what's at stake, you know, what he
(04:00):
could possibly lose, maybe he'll listen and you know, get
it together. I think you should talk to your ex
husband or your baby daddy, your son's father about this
because you definitely don't want any more calls from school
or your son to Louses scholarship because he's up in
the north, wild Steve, this is a common problem. Yeah,
(04:27):
this is a common letter. This is a common situation.
Take all the surprise out for those of you that
are about to send children to college. Take all the
surprise out. Oh my god, how could he you know?
This is he from the south. He don't went up
to the northeast. Yeah. I don't give a damn. My
(04:48):
college was forty miles from my house. Didn't have a
damn thing to do when hours of southern and went
up north right, I went straight buck why farty miles
from my damn house with all white roommates to the
(05:14):
point where after the two weeks was over, they was
down there in line. I walked past. I saw him
all in lines. Any man, what y'all doing down here?
They looked all shame and stuff. They was in the
damn room, changed line. I ain't understand that way. I
was too much for them. The black dude was down
there being black. Somebody told me, when you go to
(05:35):
Kent State, you're gonna have these three white roommates. It's
gonna be culture shock for who. It ain't been to
d from me. So lady, I'm sorry. You know, he
went to an all white university up north, and he's
got excited when he found out his roommate was black. Great,
he's a bit rough around the edges. He hood boy.
(05:58):
Within two months with my son had used my credit
card to buy new clothes, and he no longer said yes,
ma'am when we talked. He said that was slave talk,
and he wasn't with that. That would have gotten my
lips swoll up to the size of my head. I
said yes, ma'am to my mama till she passed. I
(06:20):
don't know where slave talk came from. Just the way,
this is where you're gonna talk to your mamma. Now
you call the slave talk or whatever you want to,
but that's why we're doing it. So just you usually
asked me to get the slave that's what. Don't. Don't
come in here with that mess. Leave We come back
our straight in this whole let out very easy, all right, Steve,
(06:42):
Thank you. Coming up at twenty three minutes after be
our part two of Steve's response to the letter for
today on Campus Clowning. We'll be back right after this.
You're listening show, all right, Come on, Steve Let's recap
today's Strawberry letter. The subject is on campus clouding. This
(07:02):
lady's upset because she didn't send her son to college
up north all White University or full ride scholarship. He's
an honor student. He gets excited because he has a
black roommate, and then he walked in and the black
roommate has been a bad influence on him. So you
think you think it's because you from the south and
you didn't send him up north. Like I said, I
(07:22):
was forty miles from my house and the same thing
happening here, and they ain't had nothing. I went to
college up north and wasn't northern or from the south.
So I'm I am this letter. But you know he said,
you said, when y'all talk, he don't say us, yes,
ma'am no more because he said that slave talking he
with that. Well, okay, I don't know who you think
(07:44):
paying for all this hill, but your AS's better get
the slave. After four months on campus, I got a
call from the hall director in this dorm because he
and his roommate had been smoking weed. Oh lord, Now,
he said it was his first time. But then he
also told you he can't promise you he ain't gonna
do it again. So now you look, boy, if they're
(08:06):
smoking weed, a lot of people smoke weed. That's coming.
Mostly everybody in my college smoked it. Yeah, it's all right,
he'll be all right. Okay, So now he's smoking weed,
and he finished smoking again. He also told you that
he met a female she was mixed. You told him
to send you a picture. He sent yourselfie. She looked
all white to me. It's because she is. She's white,
(08:28):
mixed up with the black dude, which is your son.
That's what he meant by mixed. She has mixed feelings
about race. That's what he meant about mixed. That's okay.
He's dating a white girl. That ain't no big deal.
He's gotten in trouble for this girl being in his
room after kirkfew and all I can do is tell
him to be careful. Yes, ma'am, that's all you could
(08:48):
tell me. I didn't prepare my son for this, but
his street street smart roommates more than happy to pick
up the slack for me. Well, let's thank god for
the room. Then. See you're mad at the roommate, but
you just said he picking up a slack because you
didn't prepare your son for none of this. Matter of fact,
you sheltered him, and thus the problem we have. You
(09:12):
have a sheltered child that that went to college and
now he gets to do like he wanted to do.
You can not shelter these children, folks, because when you
let him out the gate, when you do open the gate,
the ass is gone. You ain't gonna be able to
find him in the field when you keep him locked in.
I had a partner named Butcher Boy. When he got
to college, he was everything whoa This boy wasn't man.
(09:36):
He was only when he was the Central State moment
Kent State, they're going to see him, was wonderful. Then
he went to Ohio State. I just love going to
see this boy. He has so much stuff going on.
The girls that was in his room. I just was
just thanking the Lord for him. Anyway, he's usually on
the background of his phone talking loudly and using profanity
(09:56):
while I'm trying to talk to my son. This is
the roommate. And even I felt my son didn't deserve it.
Yet his father decided he could have his car on campus.
That was a mistake. Two days after he got it.
He and the girl were called having sex in the car. Well, okay,
(10:19):
what did you think he's gonna do with the car? See,
in college, it ain't just a car. It ain't just transportation.
It's a motor end. RB, it's a motor end. It's lodging,
(10:39):
it's everything. I let his father handle that, and all
I did was pray for him. Here you go, he's
on campus clowning, and I don't know what to do.
This is not the young man I raised. It is
it is a young man you raised, Except you raised
him and you sheltered him. So now this is what
this is you. This is the result of the sheltering. See,
(11:02):
when you ain't there to watch him, he get to
do what he want to do. So he'd been thinking
all this stuff while he was in high school. He
just got a chance to do it now. And he
like white girls too. He knew that back in high school.
He wouldn't Right on up there, ain't got anymore. Ain't
nothing wrong with that. Let that boy leave hill. Gonna
be all right? Huh. His father has told me to
(11:24):
all be fine as long as our sons grave don't drop.
That's where the daddy wrong. Because you don't think you're
grave friend to take a drop. You're saying the mistaken
about this right here, you're all out here having sex
in the cost, smoking weed. All this is too new
to you. You don't even know how. He don't even
know how to place this stuff in the proper order.
He had having sex, he got breaking curfew, smoking weed, cussing.
(11:45):
He don't like slave talk no more. You ain't, yes, ma'am.
At first report card y'all got? Could you send it
to me? Because I promise you he ain't. Never Little
Steve Harvey, he want to see. Yeah, it's gonna be bad.
It's gonna be bad for a minute. Then he gonna
get himself together when he sees his future slipping off
(12:06):
the winner. So he gonna go through this phase. He's
gonna get in a little bit of trouble. It might
even get on academic pro. But it's hard to go
from honor roll to academic pro. It's very easy for me.
I was a C student in high school. He immediately
went to a very low D in college. Immediately, Please
don't do that. Immediately, I will do a very low
(12:27):
D in college. Fought like a dog. Well, I'm just
just sco this letter. He is Yeah, tan you Sherley
college boy. Whoa you got to get that academic probation
put on you for you to make the jest. You
realize you ain't coming back. They put it on me
so many times. Finally they just sent a letter to
(12:47):
the house saying, hey man, please please don't bring your
ass all right, thank you. Please leave your comments on
Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Facebook at Steve Harvey FM,
and check out the Strawberry Letter or podcast on demand
as well. Now coming up next it is Junior and
Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to This Day
Harvey Morning Show.
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