June 22, 2022 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m a 42 year old woman and I’ve been in a relationship with a 45 year old man for 3 years. For the past two years, he’s been living with me because he needed some house repairs done. Around Christmas time last year, I caught him at his own house one Saturday when he was supposed to be visiting his parents in South Carolina. I pulled up in his driveway and he met me at the door and told me that it was a dusty mess inside like a construction site and I didn’t need to come in......................................
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, or more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com.
All you have to do is click submit Strawberry Letter.
We get your letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air. Try to help you out, Try
to help you. That's what we do around here. And
(00:22):
you never know what letter we read. It could be yours. Okay,
you never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We
got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter. Subject
my man moves mysteriously. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a forty
two year old woman and I've been in a relationship
with a forty five year old man for three years.
For the past two years, he's been living with me
(00:45):
because he needed some house repairs done around Christmas time
last year. I caught him at his own house one
Saturday when he was supposed to be visiting his parents
in South Carolina. I pulled up in his driveway and
he met me at the door, and he told me
that it was a dusty mess inside like a construction site,
(01:05):
and I didn't need to come in He also didn't
hug or kiss me and said he was too dirty
from working all day. I never questioned him about not
telling me he was still in town because I never
want to be a nagger like his ex wife. He
did not come home that night. The next morning, he
came home and he had shaved and he had on
(01:26):
dress pants. He said he went to church because his
co worker got baptized. This man threw me into a lot,
into a lot within twenty four hours, and I still
didn't nag or ask him any questions. For the next
few months, he would leave the house and wouldn't say
where he was going. I would ride by his house,
but the garage was always down, so if he was
(01:48):
in there, I couldn't tell. Last month, he said he
was finished with his house and he was selling it.
He said he felt like he was wearing out his
welcome with me and he might go stay with his
parents until he finds a new house. I told him
I wanted to see how he renovated his house, and
he said that there's a tenant running it now. I had.
(02:08):
I had a look of confusion, and he went off
on me for not believing him. So much is going
on with him, and I don't know if I should
believe him. He still says he loves me and we
still have sex, So why is he keeping me in
the dark? What's he up to? Well, there's nothing too
mysterious about him, there really isn't. It's just a lot
(02:30):
of lies. He's up to something something, for sure, and
everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie.
I mean, I'll admit that house repairs can take a
very long time, but he's been living with you for
the last two years, so please don't believe anything he says.
He could have had a whole house built in two
years or less. Okay, anyway, all the clues are there. First,
(02:53):
not telling you he was still in town when he was,
then preventing you from going in the house when you
were in the driveway, not hugging, not kissing you when
he saw you, because I'm sure that's what he normally does.
Who do you think is in that house that he's
supposedly selling right now? Is it a wife in there?
Is it his kids? Think? Think Think you're worried about
(03:14):
not being a nag, but you're worried about the wrong things.
You still have to ask questions. You obviously can't take
his word for anything, and you're feeling it. You know
something isn't quite right. You definitely need receipts when he
tells you things. Okay, Now he's moving out because he
thinks he's worn out. He's welcome with you. No, you
(03:34):
didn't tell him that. He thinks that you may be
onto him, and he knows he's wrong. That's why he's leaving.
I know you think he loves you and you're confused,
but please, love has nothing to do with this relationship. Nothing.
There's really no mystery at all about him. Like I
said earlier, I think you should break up with this
(03:55):
loser and please stop having sex with him until he
comes clean. And that's not gonna happen. Steve, Wow, where
where are these women who write these letters? I didn't
know that you could be this gullible. I just really didn't. Man,
it doesn't it doesn't almost doesn't make any sense. You know.
(04:15):
I'm starting to think that women, women would rather be
in a relationship of some kind than to be in
a real relationship of some kind. I think it's you
keep holding onto these relationships that aren't rewarding and are
(04:37):
not fulfilling. To you, just so you can say you
in one, because this doesn't make no damn sense. You're
forty two, forty five, you've been in a relationship for
three years. Past two years we've been he's been living
with you because he needed some house repairs done two years. Okay,
(04:58):
around Christmas time last year, I caught him at his
own house one Saturday when he was supposed to be
visiting his parents in South Carolina. I pulled up in
his driveway. He met me at the door and told
me it was dusty mess inside of the the construction site.
I didn't need to come in. He also didn't hug
or kiss me. He said he was too dirty from
working all day. And that's all he had to tell you.
(05:24):
Go up to the house. It's too damn dirty here now,
but it's too damn dirty for you. He don't hug
or kiss you because he too dirty. That's all he
had to tell you, and you went for that, Okay.
I never questioned him about telling me oh he was
still in town, because I never want to be a
nagger like his ex wife. Okay, So now you're being
(05:50):
you're getting played. You're actually creating the perfect scenario an
excuse that he needs to do whatever he needs to do,
and that's all you doing. So now you've created the
atmosphere for him to thrive in and tell you anything
(06:13):
he wants to tell you, and you're just going along
with it. I don't want to be a nagger like
his ex wife. Well why was she nagging? Hell, you
gotta understand something, now, most women don't nag for no reason.
They've been given a reason. That how some we women
who do. But most women that nag you about something
(06:34):
is because you gave him a reason too. And I
think he gave the X a reason. Yeah, hold that.
Well that Part two of Steve's response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry Letter subject
is my man moves mysteriously. We'll get right back into
it right after this. You're listening, all right, Come on, Steve,
(06:58):
let's recap today's Strawberry letter. My man moves mysteriously. This
lady right Hill is so gullible in this letter. Like
I said, it just makes me think that women would
rather have some relationship than a real relationship. And your
real relationship meaning that you're rewarded, you're fulfilled, you're complete,
(07:20):
so you deal with all these inconsistencies, and it don't
make no sense. You've been dating this man three years.
Two years ago he moved in your house because he
was doing some house repairs for two years. You went
over his house one Saturday when he said he was
going to see his mommy in South Carolina. You go
over his house and he supposed to be empty. He's
standing in there working. He meets you at the dough.
(07:42):
Don't let you in because he's saying the construction citing
his message. He don't hug and kiss you at the dough.
And he said the reason he hug and kiss you
because he'd been working in there all day. You're stupid,
so you let him tell you that. Then you said,
I never questioned him about telling me he was still
in town because I never want to be a nagger
like his ex wife. His ex wife was nagging for something. Yes,
(08:06):
she nagging. And now you're starting to see why I'm
telling you right now. Most women don't nag for no reason.
Some of them do, but the majority of women, you
give them a reason to turn into this nagging. Okay,
ready for this. He did not come home that night.
(08:27):
He didn't come home. He told you he was at
his mama's house in South Carolina. You go over to
his house and he at that house, he don't let
you in. You drive off. Here the best one I've
ever heard in my life. He did not come home
that night. The next morning he came home and said,
and he was shaved, and he had on dress pants.
(08:50):
He said he went to church because his co worker
got baptized. Or the best one I ever heard. That's
a good one. That was. What boy, you're proud? I
got my chest out on this. Yeah, I'm shaved and
got on dress pants because I went to church because
(09:12):
my co worker got baptized. Here's something you can't find
out if it's true or not. I don't give a
damn what type of research you do? What church? What coworker?
What job was he referring to? You ain't gonna be
aby researcher's best live I've ever heard. Co worker got baptized.
(09:34):
Then she say, this man threw me into a lot
the last twenty four hours. That lie right there, my
co worker got baptime. That's the best live I've ever heard.
It's so rare it has to be a lie. It.
I'm gonna have to write a book called Creative Lies
and just give me. And so this man threw me
(09:56):
into a lot the last twenty four hours. I still
don't nag or ask him any question. Lady, Okay, so
now you're just gullible. You're just going along with if
you don't question your relationship on him, you're just going
along with whatever he's say for next few months. He
would lead a house. It wouldn't say where he was going.
Who can do that? Who in a relationship has to
(10:18):
freedom to come and go and never say where you're
going or when you're coming back. Now, I would ride
by his house, but the garage was always down, so
if he was there, I couldn't tell. Last month he
said he was finished with his house, and he said
it all right. Now here we go. He said he
(10:39):
felt like he was wearing out his welcome with me,
and he might go stay with his parents until he
finds a new house. What wait a minute, you leaving me.
You're gonna go live with your mom and him because
you're wearing out you're welcome and you're gonna go stay
with your parents. Do you find a new house? I
told him, I wanted to see how I renovated his house.
(11:01):
Ready for this, he said, there as a tenant written
it right now, a good life. Got to be proud
this boy right here. I love this boy right here.
So I can't let you in it because the tenant
renting it right now. I had a look of confusion,
and he went off on me for not believing him.
(11:25):
Remember this, anything, best defense is a good offense. Yeah,
so when you look confused, oh, I'm lying up. Yeah, dog,
she living there and she been living there, and you're
not fend to go to your mama's house. You're fend
to go over there. So telling you that there's a
(11:46):
renter in the house and so you don't have to
go by there looking for him no more. And right
out he told you he's gonna put it on the
market and sell it. If you're gonna put the market
on the selling, why you got a tenant in that
right now? Already? So much is going on with him.
I don't know if I should believe him. He still
says he loves me and we still have sex. That's
(12:07):
cause you let him. Yeah, so why is he keeping
me in the dog? What is he up to? So
you want to know why he's keeping you in the
dog because you don't seem to have a problem being
in the dark. This is why he don't bring you
into the light, because you don't have a problem being
(12:27):
in the dark. You don't question him about nothing. You
don't ask him where he going, what it's worn about?
You like being in the dog? So now dare you
in the dog? But I'm gonna lightening it up for you.
There's a woman living in the house that he's seeing.
He gonna go live him over there, and he ain't
moving in with his mama. Why would he moving in
with a MoMA when he can sleep with you all
with her ladies? Shut up? Bye? All right, Thanks Steve.
(12:50):
Please leave your comments on today's Strawberry Letter on the
Instagram at Steve Harvey Fm and check out the Strawberry
Letter podcast on demand coming up next in his sports
talk with Junior. Right after this, you're listening to The
Dame Harday Morning Show.
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, or more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com.
All you have to do is click submit Strawberry Letter.
We get your letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air. Try to help you out, Try
to help you. That's what we do around here. And
(00:22):
you never know what letter we read. It could be yours. Okay,
you never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We
got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter. Subject
my man moves mysteriously. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a forty
two year old woman and I've been in a relationship
with a forty five year old man for three years.
For the past two years, he's been living with me
(00:45):
because he needed some house repairs done around Christmas time
last year. I caught him at his own house one
Saturday when he was supposed to be visiting his parents
in South Carolina. I pulled up in his driveway and
he met me at the door, and he told me
that it was a dusty mess inside like a construction site,
(01:05):
and I didn't need to come in He also didn't
hug or kiss me and said he was too dirty
from working all day. I never questioned him about not
telling me he was still in town because I never
want to be a nagger like his ex wife. He
did not come home that night. The next morning, he
came home and he had shaved and he had on
(01:26):
dress pants. He said he went to church because his
co worker got baptized. This man threw me into a lot,
into a lot within twenty four hours, and I still
didn't nag or ask him any questions. For the next
few months, he would leave the house and wouldn't say
where he was going. I would ride by his house,
but the garage was always down, so if he was
(01:48):
in there, I couldn't tell. Last month, he said he
was finished with his house and he was selling it.
He said he felt like he was wearing out his
welcome with me and he might go stay with his
parents until he finds a new house. I told him
I wanted to see how he renovated his house, and
he said that there's a tenant running it now. I had.
(02:08):
I had a look of confusion, and he went off
on me for not believing him. So much is going
on with him, and I don't know if I should
believe him. He still says he loves me and we
still have sex, So why is he keeping me in
the dark? What's he up to? Well, there's nothing too
mysterious about him, there really isn't. It's just a lot
(02:30):
of lies. He's up to something something, for sure, and
everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie.
I mean, I'll admit that house repairs can take a
very long time, but he's been living with you for
the last two years, so please don't believe anything he says.
He could have had a whole house built in two
years or less. Okay, anyway, all the clues are there. First,
(02:53):
not telling you he was still in town when he was,
then preventing you from going in the house when you
were in the driveway, not hugging, not kissing you when
he saw you, because I'm sure that's what he normally does.
Who do you think is in that house that he's
supposedly selling right now? Is it a wife in there?
Is it his kids? Think? Think Think you're worried about
(03:14):
not being a nag, but you're worried about the wrong things.
You still have to ask questions. You obviously can't take
his word for anything, and you're feeling it. You know
something isn't quite right. You definitely need receipts when he
tells you things. Okay, Now he's moving out because he
thinks he's worn out. He's welcome with you. No, you
(03:34):
didn't tell him that. He thinks that you may be
onto him, and he knows he's wrong. That's why he's leaving.
I know you think he loves you and you're confused,
but please, love has nothing to do with this relationship. Nothing.
There's really no mystery at all about him. Like I
said earlier, I think you should break up with this
(03:55):
loser and please stop having sex with him until he
comes clean. And that's not gonna happen. Steve, Wow, where
where are these women who write these letters? I didn't
know that you could be this gullible. I just really didn't. Man,
it doesn't it doesn't almost doesn't make any sense. You know.
(04:15):
I'm starting to think that women, women would rather be
in a relationship of some kind than to be in
a real relationship of some kind. I think it's you
keep holding onto these relationships that aren't rewarding and are
(04:37):
not fulfilling. To you, just so you can say you
in one, because this doesn't make no damn sense. You're
forty two, forty five, you've been in a relationship for
three years. Past two years we've been he's been living
with you because he needed some house repairs done two years. Okay,
(04:58):
around Christmas time last year, I caught him at his
own house one Saturday when he was supposed to be
visiting his parents in South Carolina. I pulled up in
his driveway. He met me at the door and told
me it was dusty mess inside of the the construction site.
I didn't need to come in. He also didn't hug
or kiss me. He said he was too dirty from
working all day. And that's all he had to tell you.
(05:24):
Go up to the house. It's too damn dirty here now,
but it's too damn dirty for you. He don't hug
or kiss you because he too dirty. That's all he
had to tell you, and you went for that, Okay.
I never questioned him about telling me oh he was
still in town, because I never want to be a
nagger like his ex wife. Okay, So now you're being
(05:50):
you're getting played. You're actually creating the perfect scenario an
excuse that he needs to do whatever he needs to do,
and that's all you doing. So now you've created the
atmosphere for him to thrive in and tell you anything
(06:13):
he wants to tell you, and you're just going along
with it. I don't want to be a nagger like
his ex wife. Well why was she nagging? Hell, you
gotta understand something, now, most women don't nag for no reason.
They've been given a reason. That how some we women
who do. But most women that nag you about something
(06:34):
is because you gave him a reason too. And I
think he gave the X a reason. Yeah, hold that.
Well that Part two of Steve's response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry Letter subject
is my man moves mysteriously. We'll get right back into
it right after this. You're listening, all right, Come on, Steve,
(06:58):
let's recap today's Strawberry letter. My man moves mysteriously. This
lady right Hill is so gullible in this letter. Like
I said, it just makes me think that women would
rather have some relationship than a real relationship. And your
real relationship meaning that you're rewarded, you're fulfilled, you're complete,
(07:20):
so you deal with all these inconsistencies, and it don't
make no sense. You've been dating this man three years.
Two years ago he moved in your house because he
was doing some house repairs for two years. You went
over his house one Saturday when he said he was
going to see his mommy in South Carolina. You go
over his house and he supposed to be empty. He's
standing in there working. He meets you at the dough.
(07:42):
Don't let you in because he's saying the construction citing
his message. He don't hug and kiss you at the dough.
And he said the reason he hug and kiss you
because he'd been working in there all day. You're stupid,
so you let him tell you that. Then you said,
I never questioned him about telling me he was still
in town because I never want to be a nagger
like his ex wife. His ex wife was nagging for something. Yes,
(08:06):
she nagging. And now you're starting to see why I'm
telling you right now. Most women don't nag for no reason.
Some of them do, but the majority of women, you
give them a reason to turn into this nagging. Okay,
ready for this. He did not come home that night.
(08:27):
He didn't come home. He told you he was at
his mama's house in South Carolina. You go over to
his house and he at that house, he don't let
you in. You drive off. Here the best one I've
ever heard in my life. He did not come home
that night. The next morning he came home and said,
and he was shaved, and he had on dress pants.
(08:50):
He said he went to church because his co worker
got baptized. Or the best one I ever heard. That's
a good one. That was. What boy, you're proud? I
got my chest out on this. Yeah, I'm shaved and
got on dress pants because I went to church because
(09:12):
my co worker got baptized. Here's something you can't find
out if it's true or not. I don't give a
damn what type of research you do? What church? What coworker?
What job was he referring to? You ain't gonna be
aby researcher's best live I've ever heard. Co worker got baptized.
(09:34):
Then she say, this man threw me into a lot
the last twenty four hours. That lie right there, my
co worker got baptime. That's the best live I've ever heard.
It's so rare it has to be a lie. It.
I'm gonna have to write a book called Creative Lies
and just give me. And so this man threw me
(09:56):
into a lot the last twenty four hours. I still
don't nag or ask him any question. Lady, Okay, so
now you're just gullible. You're just going along with if
you don't question your relationship on him, you're just going
along with whatever he's say for next few months. He
would lead a house. It wouldn't say where he was going.
Who can do that? Who in a relationship has to
(10:18):
freedom to come and go and never say where you're
going or when you're coming back. Now, I would ride
by his house, but the garage was always down, so
if he was there, I couldn't tell. Last month he
said he was finished with his house, and he said
it all right. Now here we go. He said he
(10:39):
felt like he was wearing out his welcome with me,
and he might go stay with his parents until he
finds a new house. What wait a minute, you leaving me.
You're gonna go live with your mom and him because
you're wearing out you're welcome and you're gonna go stay
with your parents. Do you find a new house? I
told him, I wanted to see how I renovated his house.
(11:01):
Ready for this, he said, there as a tenant written
it right now, a good life. Got to be proud
this boy right here. I love this boy right here.
So I can't let you in it because the tenant
renting it right now. I had a look of confusion,
and he went off on me for not believing him.
(11:25):
Remember this, anything, best defense is a good offense. Yeah,
so when you look confused, oh, I'm lying up. Yeah, dog,
she living there and she been living there, and you're
not fend to go to your mama's house. You're fend
to go over there. So telling you that there's a
(11:46):
renter in the house and so you don't have to
go by there looking for him no more. And right
out he told you he's gonna put it on the
market and sell it. If you're gonna put the market
on the selling, why you got a tenant in that
right now? Already? So much is going on with him.
I don't know if I should believe him. He still
says he loves me and we still have sex. That's
(12:07):
cause you let him. Yeah, so why is he keeping
me in the dog? What is he up to? So
you want to know why he's keeping you in the
dog because you don't seem to have a problem being
in the dark. This is why he don't bring you
into the light, because you don't have a problem being
(12:27):
in the dark. You don't question him about nothing. You
don't ask him where he going, what it's worn about?
You like being in the dog? So now dare you
in the dog? But I'm gonna lightening it up for you.
There's a woman living in the house that he's seeing.
He gonna go live him over there, and he ain't
moving in with his mama. Why would he moving in
with a MoMA when he can sleep with you all
with her ladies? Shut up? Bye? All right, Thanks Steve.
(12:50):
Please leave your comments on today's Strawberry Letter on the
Instagram at Steve Harvey Fm and check out the Strawberry
Letter podcast on demand coming up next in his sports
talk with Junior. Right after this, you're listening to The
Dame Harday Morning Show.
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