July 21, 2022 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m married to a very stubborn man and out of 8 years of marriage, he’s ignored me for most of that time. I’m a charge nurse and I have been really stressed out lately, as you can imagine. I come home to my husband and I expect him to listen to me vent and console me, but instead he has his head in his phone and he tunes me out.....................................
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter and if you need
advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parents, Ane Moore. Please, okay,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air when you write us. You
never know this one could be yours, all right, you
(00:22):
never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We got
it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. Subjects.
I cut him off and he stopped asking. Dear Stephen Shirley,
I'm married to a very stubborn man, and out of
eight years of marriage, he's ignored me for most of
that time. I'm a charge nurse and I've been really
(00:44):
stressed out lately. As you can imagine. I come home
to my husband and I expect him to listen to
me event and console me, but instead he has his
head in his phone and he tunes me out. I
have asked him to do favors for me, or pick
up grossries and dry cleaning, and he lie and say
he'll do it, And when I asked him about it,
he either says he doesn't remember agreeing to do it,
(01:05):
or he will say he didn't have time to I
got so fed up with him that I stopped talking
to him. He didn't care because I was still having
sex with him so I could unwind at night. I
realized he was enjoying the sex and didn't have to
deal with my mouth, so I cut the sex off,
and he eventually started talking to me and paying attention
to what I had to say. I played that game
(01:28):
with him whenever I got really irritated with him. Back
in May, I had a colonoscopy and he took me
for the procedure and left me there. I had to
be put into a holding room because the nurse couldn't
find him. He eventually came to pick me up, and
that was it for me. I had had enough of him,
so I went back to ignoring him. He apologized and
(01:51):
begged me for sex for the first three weeks, and
then he stopped. He seemed to be okay without sex,
and his mood changed. He lent me vent to him
and he started helping me out around the house. I
try to reward him for good behavior with sex, and
he turned me away. I'm not sure of what he's
up to, but he will not but he will not
(02:12):
have sex with me. Now has my ignoring game backfired?
What is up with him? Well, I mean, realistically speaking,
either he's getting it from somewhere else or he's playing
your game back at you. So you can see how
it feels. I know it's confusing to you because in
(02:32):
the midst of him now cutting you off, he's still
being nice to you. He's still being nice. What does
that mean? You've you've been with this man for eight years,
and for the most of that time you said he
has ignored you. I mean you said that in the letter.
So even though there's no proof that he's cheating, he
has changed significantly, and change in behavior from a man
(02:55):
could definitely be a sign of cheating, proof or not.
My question to you is why are you still with
this man. You've been basically single in your marriage for
all of these years. You said he's ignored you for
eight You've got no help from him, and the simple
things like picking up the dry cleaning or getting groceries,
and the big one, where was he after your colonoscopy?
(03:15):
Why did you have to be put in a holding room?
You yourself said that was it for you? Well, apparently not,
because you're still there and now he's flipped the script
on you. He's flipped the game, and as you worried
about what he's up to. So I mean, my advice
is you got to talk to him, because only he
can tell you why he's turning you away. And please
(03:38):
do not expect him to be honest. If he is cheating,
he's not going to tell you the truth. But again,
I say, you got to talk to him. You got
to find out what's going on. Then you can make
an informed decision on your next move, because it's obvious
you want to stay. You want to stay married to him.
Well at least you did you know when you were
in control, when you were controlling him with sex, So
(04:00):
talk to him and find out what's going on with him. Steve, Okay,
all right, ladies, Lady Shirley and Colin. Let me ask
you a question. Do you want me to give a
truthful answer to this letter? Yeah? Or do you want
me to be blatantly honest? Both? I want, but I
(04:22):
want the truth just the truth is good, honestly good. Yeah?
Do both? Steve? I mean, is there a difference, really,
yes and the truth and blatantly the truth always has
kindly said it. Blatant honesty is just brutal, hard, cold facts. Yeah,
(04:42):
and that's how your man talks to you. Which sometimes
we're mostly truthful with you, and then when we're blatantly
honest with you, it's because we didn't have enough and
you need to just hear it. Which one you want? Like? Yeah, yeah,
which one? I like to hear the truth? I mean,
be honest, say it? Okay, well it is he needs
(05:03):
give it to us, give it to the people. I'm
married to a very stubborn man, and out of eight
years of marriage, he's ignored me most of the time.
I'm a charged nurse and I'm usually stressed out lately,
as you can imagine, I can't imagine with COVID. I
come home to my husband and I expect him to
listen to vent and console me, but instead he had
his head in his phone and he tunes me out.
(05:26):
I've asked him to do favors for me. First of all,
let's stop. You're ready for some honesty, Yeah, come on,
he don't like it. Don't hold back. He don't like her.
He doesn't like her. He don't like her. He loves her,
but he don't like her, who I believe it. He
don't like her. I've asked him to do favors for me,
(05:51):
pick up groceries, dry cleaning. He will lye and say
he'll do it, And then I asked him about it.
He just says he don't remember agreeing to it, or
he say he didn't have time to He don't like her.
He don't like her. He don't give a damn where
she won't. Yeah, he ignored her for eight years. He
loves her. He bringing the money in and they're paying
the bills. But he don't like her. You don't like
(06:12):
you no more. So I got fat on when and
I stopped talking to him. He ain't care. Fine, you
don't wanna talk to me? Fine, I don't care. I
don't even like you. He don't like her. But I
was still having sect to him so I could unwind
at night. Bam, cool, got it too. I got the cake.
(06:36):
I ain't gonna talk to you. Hold on, stick and
I'm eating it too. We have a sex man. Coo, Yeah,
hold on, Steve, we'll have part two of your response
coming up. At twenty three minutes after the hour, subject
of today's Strawberry letter cut him off and he stopped asking.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening show,
(06:56):
all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject. I cut him off and he stopped asking.
I cut him off and he stopped asking. So now
I ask the ladies call in Sherley. I said, what
would you all want me to do? I could give
you a truth for answer. Oh, I can give you
a brutally honest answer. They said, what we want both? Well,
you can't do both, because see, when a man gives
(07:16):
you a truthful answer, it's always temperate with words of
kindness and not so revealing. We'll tell you the truth
without telling you the whole truth. See that's the difference,
and we know the different. If you want to be
blatant honest, then here it is in your face, no
sugar only, no coating it. Boom. So they asked for
the honest answer, So here we go. She just found
(07:40):
out that I'm trying to get this lady to understand something.
You've been eight years to a stubborn man. Mostly he's
a charging nurse. She's stretched out. You come home, you
expect your husband to listen to him, to you venting console,
and instead he got his head and his phone. He
tunes you out. You ask him pick up grocer to
do favors for you and dry cleaning here a line
say or do it you come home. It won't be done.
He'll say you either didn't tell him that, or he'll
(08:02):
just say he ain't had time. All of this is
because he don't like her. You're married to a man
that doesn't like you, and this is a message for
a lot of women need to hear this. See y'all
be trying to save your marriage, but you're saving your marriage.
And the man may love you, but he ain't got
to like you. He'd been stopped liking this woman a
(08:25):
long time ago. It's things about her he don't agree to.
So then so she got fed up with him and
she stopped talking to him. He didn't care. You know why.
He didn't care because he don't like her. Who And
then I because I was still and he didn't care
because I was still having sexual him so I could
(08:45):
unwind the night. I realized he was enjoying the sex,
but he didn't have to deal with my mom because
he don't care. He don't care. He love you, He
has sex with you, but he don't like you. Know
what I mean? Times man can have sex somebody don't
like Are you kidding me? Ladies? A lot of y'all
are married to men that don't like you no more,
(09:07):
and you're fighting to hang on to this love. But
this man don't like you no more. He don't like you,
and it's just crazy man, and y'all need to understand this.
That's why I ask how you want me to read
this letter to you. He don't like her, and I'm
sure you don't like her at all in this letter.
So he didn't care because I was still having sexual
(09:27):
and so I could wind to night. I realized he
was enjoying the sex and didn't have to deal with
my mouth, So I cut the sex off, and he
eventually started talking to me and paying attention to what
I had to say. That is because sex is important
in a relationship, and sex is required by a man
to deal with the unpleasant treats of the relationship. If
(09:51):
you have good sex, we will put up with the
unpleasant treats of the relationship if the sex is good.
So when you cut this sex off, he said, oh,
let me go on and talk to her, even though
I don't like her. Let me listen to her so
I could get back to having this sex and pay
attention to what I had to say. I played that
(10:12):
game with him whenever I got really irritated with him. Well,
back in May, I had a colonoscophy. He took me
for the procedure and left me there. I had to
be put into a holding room because the nurse couldn't
find him. He eventually came to pick me up and
that was it for me. Well three weeks now, three weeks.
This has been going on. But back in May, when
you had the colonoscophy, you know, you get put out
(10:34):
for a colonoscophy. Now you know what. He tied his game,
So he did you did say in the beginning of
he kept his head in his phone. What are doing
in the phone? Well, he made contact. So now while
you was out having the colonosophy, since he don't like you,
he went and got some stress relief while you was
getting operated on him make a little run the run,
(10:54):
made a little run. Yeah, I'm just telling y'all what happened.
Then he came back and picked you up, but you
was done with him. I'd had enough of him, so
I went back to ignoring him. He apologized and begged
me for sex for the next three weeks. Then he stopped.
He seemed to be okay without sex. Ain't no man
okay without sex. Let's stop that right there, and his
(11:17):
mood change. He let me ventor him and he started
helping me out around the house. Well wait a minute,
that's weird, but you know why because he was back
to getting sex through and so now, since I don't
like you to throw you off, now, let me listen
and talk to you at the house and listen to
(11:37):
your venting so you don't get wise to the fact
that I got some sex outside the house, because I
ain't gonna keep begging your ass who I don't like anyway.
I'm not gonna beg somebody I don't like for sex.
But I can go so somebody's house I like and
have sex, and I ain't got to be in love
with him. You understand what's happening here in this letter.
(11:58):
So he let me vent he's try to help me
out around the house. I tried to reward him for
good behavior and sex, and he turned me away because
he's getting the reward somewhere else, and he can't use
up his reward with somebody he don't like when he
got to save it for that other girl over there
who he do like. Y'all tripping. I'm not sure what
(12:23):
he's up to, but he would not have sex with me.
Now he having sex with you? How has my ignoring
game backfired? He wouldn't got to sex from somebody he liked.
He ain't like you, know how? What's up with him? Noah,
what's up with you? No? They don't like each other.
(12:46):
She liked this man, she in love, but he loved you,
but he don't like you. He getting sex somewhere else.
He don't give a damn hot and want that little
raggedy little piece she was passing out. Wow. Post your
comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on
it's and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand
(13:11):
coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, It's
Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to
the Steve Harvey Morning Show
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter and if you need
advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parents, Ane Moore. Please, okay,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air when you write us. You
never know this one could be yours, all right, you
(00:22):
never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We got
it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. Subjects.
I cut him off and he stopped asking. Dear Stephen Shirley,
I'm married to a very stubborn man, and out of
eight years of marriage, he's ignored me for most of
that time. I'm a charge nurse and I've been really
(00:44):
stressed out lately. As you can imagine. I come home
to my husband and I expect him to listen to
me event and console me, but instead he has his
head in his phone and he tunes me out. I
have asked him to do favors for me, or pick
up grossries and dry cleaning, and he lie and say
he'll do it, And when I asked him about it,
he either says he doesn't remember agreeing to do it,
(01:05):
or he will say he didn't have time to I
got so fed up with him that I stopped talking
to him. He didn't care because I was still having
sex with him so I could unwind at night. I
realized he was enjoying the sex and didn't have to
deal with my mouth, so I cut the sex off,
and he eventually started talking to me and paying attention
to what I had to say. I played that game
(01:28):
with him whenever I got really irritated with him. Back
in May, I had a colonoscopy and he took me
for the procedure and left me there. I had to
be put into a holding room because the nurse couldn't
find him. He eventually came to pick me up, and
that was it for me. I had had enough of him,
so I went back to ignoring him. He apologized and
(01:51):
begged me for sex for the first three weeks, and
then he stopped. He seemed to be okay without sex,
and his mood changed. He lent me vent to him
and he started helping me out around the house. I
try to reward him for good behavior with sex, and
he turned me away. I'm not sure of what he's
up to, but he will not but he will not
(02:12):
have sex with me. Now has my ignoring game backfired?
What is up with him? Well, I mean, realistically speaking,
either he's getting it from somewhere else or he's playing
your game back at you. So you can see how
it feels. I know it's confusing to you because in
(02:32):
the midst of him now cutting you off, he's still
being nice to you. He's still being nice. What does
that mean? You've you've been with this man for eight years,
and for the most of that time you said he
has ignored you. I mean you said that in the letter.
So even though there's no proof that he's cheating, he
has changed significantly, and change in behavior from a man
(02:55):
could definitely be a sign of cheating, proof or not.
My question to you is why are you still with
this man. You've been basically single in your marriage for
all of these years. You said he's ignored you for
eight You've got no help from him, and the simple
things like picking up the dry cleaning or getting groceries,
and the big one, where was he after your colonoscopy?
(03:15):
Why did you have to be put in a holding room?
You yourself said that was it for you? Well, apparently not,
because you're still there and now he's flipped the script
on you. He's flipped the game, and as you worried
about what he's up to. So I mean, my advice
is you got to talk to him, because only he
can tell you why he's turning you away. And please
(03:38):
do not expect him to be honest. If he is cheating,
he's not going to tell you the truth. But again,
I say, you got to talk to him. You got
to find out what's going on. Then you can make
an informed decision on your next move, because it's obvious
you want to stay. You want to stay married to him.
Well at least you did you know when you were
in control, when you were controlling him with sex, So
(04:00):
talk to him and find out what's going on with him. Steve, Okay,
all right, ladies, Lady Shirley and Colin. Let me ask
you a question. Do you want me to give a
truthful answer to this letter? Yeah? Or do you want
me to be blatantly honest? Both? I want, but I
(04:22):
want the truth just the truth is good, honestly good. Yeah?
Do both? Steve? I mean, is there a difference, really,
yes and the truth and blatantly the truth always has
kindly said it. Blatant honesty is just brutal, hard, cold facts. Yeah,
(04:42):
and that's how your man talks to you. Which sometimes
we're mostly truthful with you, and then when we're blatantly
honest with you, it's because we didn't have enough and
you need to just hear it. Which one you want? Like? Yeah, yeah,
which one? I like to hear the truth? I mean,
be honest, say it? Okay, well it is he needs
(05:03):
give it to us, give it to the people. I'm
married to a very stubborn man, and out of eight
years of marriage, he's ignored me most of the time.
I'm a charged nurse and I'm usually stressed out lately,
as you can imagine, I can't imagine with COVID. I
come home to my husband and I expect him to
listen to vent and console me, but instead he had
his head in his phone and he tunes me out.
(05:26):
I've asked him to do favors for me. First of all,
let's stop. You're ready for some honesty, Yeah, come on,
he don't like it. Don't hold back. He don't like her.
He doesn't like her. He don't like her. He loves her,
but he don't like her, who I believe it. He
don't like her. I've asked him to do favors for me,
(05:51):
pick up groceries, dry cleaning. He will lye and say
he'll do it, And then I asked him about it.
He just says he don't remember agreeing to it, or
he say he didn't have time to He don't like her.
He don't like her. He don't give a damn where
she won't. Yeah, he ignored her for eight years. He
loves her. He bringing the money in and they're paying
the bills. But he don't like her. You don't like
(06:12):
you no more. So I got fat on when and
I stopped talking to him. He ain't care. Fine, you
don't wanna talk to me? Fine, I don't care. I
don't even like you. He don't like her. But I
was still having sect to him so I could unwind
at night. Bam, cool, got it too. I got the cake.
(06:36):
I ain't gonna talk to you. Hold on, stick and
I'm eating it too. We have a sex man. Coo, Yeah,
hold on, Steve, we'll have part two of your response
coming up. At twenty three minutes after the hour, subject
of today's Strawberry letter cut him off and he stopped asking.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening show,
(06:56):
all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject. I cut him off and he stopped asking.
I cut him off and he stopped asking. So now
I ask the ladies call in Sherley. I said, what
would you all want me to do? I could give
you a truth for answer. Oh, I can give you
a brutally honest answer. They said, what we want both? Well,
you can't do both, because see, when a man gives
(07:16):
you a truthful answer, it's always temperate with words of
kindness and not so revealing. We'll tell you the truth
without telling you the whole truth. See that's the difference,
and we know the different. If you want to be
blatant honest, then here it is in your face, no
sugar only, no coating it. Boom. So they asked for
the honest answer, So here we go. She just found
(07:40):
out that I'm trying to get this lady to understand something.
You've been eight years to a stubborn man. Mostly he's
a charging nurse. She's stretched out. You come home, you
expect your husband to listen to him, to you venting console,
and instead he got his head and his phone. He
tunes you out. You ask him pick up grocer to
do favors for you and dry cleaning here a line
say or do it you come home. It won't be done.
He'll say you either didn't tell him that, or he'll
(08:02):
just say he ain't had time. All of this is
because he don't like her. You're married to a man
that doesn't like you, and this is a message for
a lot of women need to hear this. See y'all
be trying to save your marriage, but you're saving your marriage.
And the man may love you, but he ain't got
to like you. He'd been stopped liking this woman a
(08:25):
long time ago. It's things about her he don't agree to.
So then so she got fed up with him and
she stopped talking to him. He didn't care. You know why.
He didn't care because he don't like her. Who And
then I because I was still and he didn't care
because I was still having sexual him so I could
(08:45):
unwind the night. I realized he was enjoying the sex,
but he didn't have to deal with my mom because
he don't care. He don't care. He love you, He
has sex with you, but he don't like you. Know
what I mean? Times man can have sex somebody don't
like Are you kidding me? Ladies? A lot of y'all
are married to men that don't like you no more,
(09:07):
and you're fighting to hang on to this love. But
this man don't like you no more. He don't like you,
and it's just crazy man, and y'all need to understand this.
That's why I ask how you want me to read
this letter to you. He don't like her, and I'm
sure you don't like her at all in this letter.
So he didn't care because I was still having sexual
(09:27):
and so I could wind to night. I realized he
was enjoying the sex and didn't have to deal with
my mouth, So I cut the sex off, and he
eventually started talking to me and paying attention to what
I had to say. That is because sex is important
in a relationship, and sex is required by a man
to deal with the unpleasant treats of the relationship. If
(09:51):
you have good sex, we will put up with the
unpleasant treats of the relationship if the sex is good.
So when you cut this sex off, he said, oh,
let me go on and talk to her, even though
I don't like her. Let me listen to her so
I could get back to having this sex and pay
attention to what I had to say. I played that
(10:12):
game with him whenever I got really irritated with him. Well,
back in May, I had a colonoscophy. He took me
for the procedure and left me there. I had to
be put into a holding room because the nurse couldn't
find him. He eventually came to pick me up and
that was it for me. Well three weeks now, three weeks.
This has been going on. But back in May, when
you had the colonoscophy, you know, you get put out
(10:34):
for a colonoscophy. Now you know what. He tied his game,
So he did you did say in the beginning of
he kept his head in his phone. What are doing
in the phone? Well, he made contact. So now while
you was out having the colonosophy, since he don't like you,
he went and got some stress relief while you was
getting operated on him make a little run the run,
(10:54):
made a little run. Yeah, I'm just telling y'all what happened.
Then he came back and picked you up, but you
was done with him. I'd had enough of him, so
I went back to ignoring him. He apologized and begged
me for sex for the next three weeks. Then he stopped.
He seemed to be okay without sex. Ain't no man
okay without sex. Let's stop that right there, and his
(11:17):
mood change. He let me ventor him and he started
helping me out around the house. Well wait a minute,
that's weird, but you know why because he was back
to getting sex through and so now, since I don't
like you to throw you off, now, let me listen
and talk to you at the house and listen to
(11:37):
your venting so you don't get wise to the fact
that I got some sex outside the house, because I
ain't gonna keep begging your ass who I don't like anyway.
I'm not gonna beg somebody I don't like for sex.
But I can go so somebody's house I like and
have sex, and I ain't got to be in love
with him. You understand what's happening here in this letter.
(11:58):
So he let me vent he's try to help me
out around the house. I tried to reward him for
good behavior and sex, and he turned me away because
he's getting the reward somewhere else, and he can't use
up his reward with somebody he don't like when he
got to save it for that other girl over there
who he do like. Y'all tripping. I'm not sure what
(12:23):
he's up to, but he would not have sex with me.
Now he having sex with you? How has my ignoring
game backfired? He wouldn't got to sex from somebody he liked.
He ain't like you, know how? What's up with him? Noah,
what's up with you? No? They don't like each other.
(12:46):
She liked this man, she in love, but he loved you,
but he don't like you. He getting sex somewhere else.
He don't give a damn hot and want that little
raggedy little piece she was passing out. Wow. Post your
comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on
it's and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand
(13:11):
coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, It's
Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to
the Steve Harvey Morning Show
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