If you are feeling torn these days… you aren’t alone.
Every day it seems, we are being presented with a new sexual allegation of a public figure, and many of us have become especially challenged with how to process it all. Some women are being triggered with massive PTSD while others are traumatized to learn that someone they’ve admired has a history of abusive behavior. And then there is all the vitriol and confrontation. People everywhere are heated.
We’d love to be able to turn it all off and pretend it isn’t happening. We’d love to blame someone for this experience. We shouldn’t be forced to go through any of this. Haven’t we been through enough for one year?
We are in the test of our lives.
How are we supposed to react when we learn that some of our greatest allies for women’s rights and feminism are perpetrators themselves, with a history of abuse towards women?
First: Acknowledge how hard this is.
None of this is easy, and you are NOT WRONG for how you may be feeling. Honoring yourself is more important than ever. Don’t blame ANYONE. Not yourself. Not anyone else. Take care of your mental state and allow yourself to go through all of the emotions that may be coming to the surface for you right now.
Next: Surround yourself with the love and safety of others.
Blossoming sisterhood is everywhere. As women discover that many of their worst experiences are the same as others, they have become empowered to take action and hold each other up. Whether you are speaking out, or just being a really good listener, don’t squander the fact that progress is being made.
Finally: Keep your eye on the prize.
We are definitely in unchartered territory now and we are just figuring it out as we go along. Like everything else that is new and unfamiliar, this moment in time is an opportunity of immense purpose. But one thing is clear…WE MUST FIGURE IT OUT TOGETHER.
We’ve come too far to let patriarchy win. It’s our turn to win. And we must do everything possible not to compromise our values and our belief systems at the risk of losing this fight. We must also get clear on what winning looks like.
Do we win when a perpetrator is severely punished?
Or do we win when women are less violated and vulnerable?
What are we willing to sacrifice to cross this finish line?
Do we have a better chance of winning when we show up in hate or in love?
What do our most effective actions look like as agents of change?
On Today’s Show
Wow. This isn’t a HEAVY discussion or anything…. sheeesh!
Today, I’ve invited two fabulous women to share the airwaves with me!
First, my R.I.S.E. leadership buddy and fierce passionistah sistah, Connie Vasquez will be joining us. She is the event organizer for the upcoming #MeToo Rally in New York City on December 9. Connie will be popping on in the first segment to tell as all about why this event is so important, and why you should be there! Then, a woman I admire greatly as a successful public broadcaster, producer and TV personality in San Diego, The Pulse’s Cindy Matalucci, who I had the pleasure of bonding with when she hosted and interviewed me on my book tour at the Women’s Museum.