May 11, 2024 • 30 mins
Is Chris sleeping apart from his wife ‘the beginning of the end’? A huge part of being a 90s teen is BACK, plus we have a Mother’s Day surprise for supermum Amy
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Crisp Page, Is it my turn to interview you now?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
It is?
Speaker 3 (00:05):
Yes, if you can stop burping for a minute, I'm
sure you can interview me. By the way, we're getting
to know each other by interviewing each other this morning.
I'm getting to know that you love a big belch
hi during the songs.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
I do not mind a belch.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Yeah, and I'm into it. Is it wrong? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Well you know what, some people they like it. Some
people fight in front of their husbands. Some people don't write.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Don't fight, but keep the burps going. I kind of
like it.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
All right, I'm bringing them on. It is now time
for me to ask the questions of you. Chris Page,
you're in the hot seat. What were you like as
a kid?
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Okay, well, sexy, definitely, like I thought you all the
weird uncles. No nightmare it's what now they call adhd.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
Oh yeah, undiagnosed.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Back then it was just a prick.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Yeah, just a real little term.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
And they didn't have medication for it.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
So I went to a selective school, not a special school.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
My brother loves saying that you went to a special school.
Not that special.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Yeah, so really really smart kids. I used to be smart.
Dorin what anymore. But we made the teachers lives hell,
and it wasn't like the normal stuff, Like it wasn't
you know, setting fire to their car and that sort
of basic.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
Stuff, because that's how I tormented my teachers.
Speaker 5 (01:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Yeah, it was the little psychological mind games, particularly with
the substitute teachers. So you'd get one guy came in.
It was his first day. It's like as a trainee teacher.
One thing he did every time he turned around to
ride on the board, we'd all just move our desks
a few inches closer, so it was gradual. So he
turned around and then he wasn't sure if he was
(01:47):
imagining it or if it was real. So it's sort
of in his head, feels a bit like a nightmare,
and it sort of does his head in do you.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Have the whole class in on this?
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Oh wow.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
So he he's imagining it at first, and then eventually
he realized he wasn't imagining it because we were like
had him closed in around at the blackboard with our
desks like he was trapped. Then he goes, right, that's it,
stop playing games with me. And someone goes your fly's undone,
and he goes no, stop it. I said, no more games,
and we're like, no.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
No, it really is. And he looked down and it
really was.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
He ran out of the room in tears and decided
he didn't want to be a teacher anymore.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Oh my god, are you what age was this?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Fifteen? I guess fourteen fifteen a bully? I was not
a bully.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I mean, you were softly bullying your teacher.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
I was testing the point that he resigned a student
teacher to see whether or not they'd cut it in
the real world. I did him a favor. He's probably
out plumbing or something and making a hell of.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
A lot more money.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
Definitely Inspector. Now.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yeah, there was another teacher we drove insane. He changed
from one school to ours, and he changed his name
because the kids at the old school picked on him
so much and he was the butt of all the jokes.
He didn't want word getting to our school that it
was that guy.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Wow, what who are you?
Speaker 5 (03:01):
So?
Speaker 3 (03:02):
He was mister Finn at his old school, but he
changed it to I think it was his mother's maiden
name or.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Something like that.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Did you all catch wind though, to.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Mister Trendall at our school? Yes, And of course we
found out. So mister Trendall who taught us, if if
you called him mister Finn, which was his secret old name,
he'd blow up something de luxe. So we'd find ways
to do it, like he'd walk home. We'd yelled at
him out of the bus and everything. But the best
one in like the quote outside his block where he
(03:32):
taught on the second floor. We got like a hundred
of us and we all laid on the ground on
the ashphalt and spelt out Finn with our bodies, like
you know, lying out and just so, and then someone
got him to look out the window.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Wow, were you at a boarding school?
Speaker 2 (03:46):
No?
Speaker 3 (03:47):
No, Like why why I can't go home at three
o'clock every day and still do this shit at school?
Speaker 4 (03:53):
But also like.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
We like that sounds a little bit weird, like were
you not playing doing normal kids shit?
Speaker 2 (03:59):
What handbon just tormenting your teachers?
Speaker 4 (04:02):
I don't know, it sounds it's.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Giving cruel, it's giving cruel and mean and like you
guys are a.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Kind of asshole.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Anyway, that was me, and it was because it was
a public school. We saved money because it was good
because my parents had me down for a wanky private
school and they said, you can choose which one you
go to, no pressure. And I said, all right, I'll
go to the public one for free, and they said,
great choice. We're getting a swimming pool. Okay, we've got
to play a song. What else have you got for me?
Speaker 1 (04:27):
I've got a few more questions for you and the
next couple. I'm going to fling your way.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
A're going to be a little.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Deeper, deeper, deeper. You're ramming it all the way, Chris.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
We're getting to know each other a little bit today, Aimes,
we're interviewing each other and you are in the questionnaires
seat right now.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Okay, let's get deeper. What about when was the last
time you cried?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Okay, well, obviously not when you've found out that we
would be working together.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
No.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I was tears of happiness and they said, hey, this
this Instagram influencer who wants to do radio.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
I thought, I wish there was more of my roll.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Yeah, properly cried like sobbed was to be honest, And
I don't know if you wanted this level of honesty,
but it was probably the moment I realized that I
needed to go to rehab for alcohol and and it
just it was just something that got progressively problematic over
(05:27):
a period of years, and you know, it was it
was getting worse, and a lot of other people.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I was the last to realize.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I guess like a lot of people around me, like
my my wife and you know, my family, my friends
were all probably there and I but you need to
realize yourself because rehab you can't force someone to go.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't get.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
It to drink right exactly.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Well, you could get me to drink a whole lot
every day, so that wasn't problem. I need you needed
the horse to stop drinking all the time. So yeah,
the last time I cried was probably when I finally
had that realization that you need to go, because I'd
ring people like I'd ring up friends and go can
you believe this? My wife Georgie says I need to
go to rehab and waiting for them to go. Women, yeah, no,
(06:15):
you don't, And none of them did. They were like, oh, yeah,
so you thinking of doing it? When a you're going
to go? And I kept ringing people, even my really
loose like loosest animal friends. Hey, Georgie thinks as you
got to rehab and they're like, yeah, okay, yeah, hey,
not the worst thing.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Mate.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
Can I ask how long with rehab? Is it like
you go away for a state?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (06:37):
How long?
Speaker 6 (06:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:38):
You're an impatient for most of them, about a month.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
I want.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
I am so interested to understand what do they do there.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
It's not like one flew over the cookoo's nest in
the seventies with lobotomy lobotomies, I didn't get the nail
up my nose, but it's it's full on. You have
things like group therapy sessions every day where you're sitting
in a room with like seven or eight other people
and there's a therapist and you're going around sharing stories.
And there was a lot of guilt for me because
(07:09):
I was sitting in these groups of people with what
you would describe compared to them as like this perfect life,
like a good upbringing, good parents, and a nice family.
And literally you go, I'm the only person in this
room that wasn't molested or something, and what's my excuse
to have an addiction? So you felt I felt like
a bit of an outsider like that. It's weird, but
(07:31):
there's all different types.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Of addicts there's drug addicts, sex addicts in there.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
There's all not just for alcohol. So you said it,
it's not just for piss heead but so there's all
different types. But one thing I will say, there's normal
people in there.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
It's not. It's not a looney people.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
Who have had traumatic upbringings and stuff like that. It's not.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
I thought it'd be full of freaks and loonies, yeah,
and full on tweakers. It's actually people like you and me,
blows who have just you know, things have just gotten
off the track a little bit. Things far and they're
just getting back on track. So there's one stigma I
can break forward.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
Yeah, okay, well this is good. I mean I'm not
there yet.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
You do have a lot of you you're on Instagram
and that there's a lot of wine.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
There is a lot of wine.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
But listen, that's more from a passion projects type thing.
I like to think that Ryan and I are similias now,
so we're all about like understanding the history of wines
and vintagers and.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
All that kind of a lot of the people in
rehab said that is this how it begins. But rehabit
there are some funny things in rehab though as well.
One of the alcoholics, draankled the hand sanitizer. Oh wow,
don't do, by the way, but there is, you know
there alcoholic content. Yeah, sanitizer, there is, which is what
makes it sanitary.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
So he like that, that's that's that's thirsty.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
That's like, that's thirsty, isn't it when you're getting in
the dance fronting?
Speaker 4 (08:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Yeah, but it obviously works when you get in. You know,
it did work for me. But I said there was
sex addicts in there.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
So one I found out that the person I had
to share a room with was was a sex addict.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
An informonia a male or a male?
Speaker 3 (09:13):
I'm male, bisexual sex addict and go And maybe I'm
flattering myself, but I went, should I be sharing a
room with a like bisexual sex addict?
Speaker 4 (09:26):
And did you get hit on?
Speaker 2 (09:27):
No?
Speaker 6 (09:28):
No?
Speaker 2 (09:28):
No really? My go as well. But they say humility
is a big part of sobriety, so that helped.
Speaker 6 (09:34):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Okay, this is very interesting. I am learning so much
about you and this is really great. Let's finish on
one last question. It's a really important one. I think
everybody will want to know. What is the nickname that
you have for.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
Your penis Bruce Willis, Bruce Wills.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Well, look, I'm a big fan of Bruce. I know
he's not doing too well at the moment, but neither's
my old fellas.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
You're obviously circumcised.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
No, oh, no, I don't think.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Of Bruce Willis.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
I think if his big, bald shiny looks like the
head of a circumcised paint.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Yes, no, exactly why picture Bruce Willis wearing a skin
colored beanie. Yeah, and uh, and you're getting closer. Bruce Willis.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
I like him. He's cool, he's old now, he is
quite old. He's got dementia as well. He's fading.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
He's fading fast and it's not going well. So No,
originally it was called Bruce Willis because he's not real long,
but he's pretty solid.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Like do you say to your wife, Georgie, come on,
Bruce is waiting.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Bruce Is ready, yippie kay gum and jump on Bruce.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yeah, Chris, you're very big.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
On the Instagram, the Instagram, old man. You know you're
on there doing mother stuff and saying look at my kids,
give me money along those lines. Yeah, but no jokes
aside your mother stuff on there it seems quite raw
and real, and you you're sharing things from your friends
and yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Think it's important to highlight the truths of motherhood.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
And I also feel like, I, like a.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Lot of moms out there, was a bit of a
schmuck before having children. You know, you always think that
you're going to be the perfect parent before you actually
become one.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
And the birth thing itself you have like, I know,
my wife had this plan. This is how it's going
to go, this is the timeline. And I try, yeah,
and I'm like, what do I know?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
But I'm still going babies. I don't think you can
plan all this stuff.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
You look, you can have a plan. I've actually got
a girlfriend at the moment who is.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
A couple of she's about two months off giving birth.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
It is her first child. Yeah, and she is going.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
To all ends of the earth in order to have
what she deems the most perfect birth, Like she wants
to have an orgasm while she's having contractions because someone
in hypnobirthing told her that she could reach climax, so
she's aiming high. She wants to be giving birth at home,
which is fine, a lot of people do homebirths, but
she also doesn't want any medical intervention, right, and I
(12:05):
just want to be like, babe, just you know, however
the baby gets here, let's just get it here safely.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
Just identifying her. Does she live in Mullumbimbi. That's the vibe.
I'm featuring a bluehaired woman squatting over a magnesium bath
or something.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
I mean, no, and I don't know where it's all
coming from.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
And I absolutely respect that that's how she wants to
give birth. But I also know, having had three births,
that more often than not, when you do have a
birthing plan, it kind of gets thrown out the window.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
You're so right about the expectations as a parent, and
when you go and you go, I'm going to do this.
Some of them are hilarious. I thought, and I'm guilty
of it, Yes, that I would only give my kids
organic food.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
Oh god, I didn't see that one coming. That's completely unrealistic.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Well, because you hear about hormones and chemicals and salts
and everything, you go, right, I'm going to do this.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
You also have to be a millionaire. Yeah right, it's
too expensive.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
And they won't eat it.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Literally, we alternate between dino nuggets and fish fingers on
and off every.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
Second half kind of spag bowl and nuggets. That's it. Alternate.
I feel like that Lisa's spag bowl. I can throw
some hidden vegetables in there as well.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
But I also I was that parent that would see
like kids tantruming at the supermarket or out in public,
and I was so judging.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
How can they let them do that? Carry on like that?
Speaker 1 (13:25):
I was a Karen And I just want to go
back in time and give myself an upper cut because
I have three children who loved to tantrum in public
and they have meltdowns.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
And I've had one of my kids.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Who flapping around on the floor like barrow moundy out
of water in you know, one of the supermarkets, and
it's mortifying.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
My friend, let's call it Emma because that's her name,
was pregnant with her first child and she said, I'll
tell you what.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
The one thing about my kid is they're not having
any screen time.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Can I just say, I feel like kids come out
and a watch screens within a minute, right because everyone's
got their phones down and they want to they want
to post on the Instagram, and so kids are getting
screen times within the first minute of them being born.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
No, we tried to do it without it literally within
sixty seconds. Then did.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
Mom?
Speaker 1 (14:18):
You try to make it feel better because you're like,
LOUI is really fun and it's somewhat educational and it's
like real life events and it's okay.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
And then they've been watching it for eight hours for
the whole day.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Just don't do Pepper Pig I hate. She's heard as well.
She is calling her dad fat. You know they copy
that kid's daddy. You're tummy so big and fat?
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Don't you hear?
Speaker 4 (14:40):
Person?
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Don't you think I hear about that repeated word for it?
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Jenna has given us a call. Jenna, thanks for calling in.
Were you a deluded you time?
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Mother?
Speaker 7 (14:49):
I was totally I was totally one of you. I
was going to have this, this perfect birth with no intervention.
Speaker 4 (14:55):
Yep, I was.
Speaker 7 (14:56):
I was going to have you know, like all going
food and quaff nappy?
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Oh the cloth?
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Oh were you going to do the really expensive wet
wipes as well, because you know the seven dollar ones
you can buy and they have no chemicals there, no
chemicals are going to touch my kids scrow them and
then like yeah, then now we're straight off to aldi.
Speaker 7 (15:14):
Now that was me and I got I got two
berths that were completely different and I needed medical interventions. Yep,
I also got two children with silent reflux. So there's
no no screen time, no screen time. That was me.
I was no TV, no nothing I needed. I needed
TV like it was you know, it was going out
(15:35):
of fashion and I absolutely and even like things like
taking them out for dinner and stuff like that, they
would just screen the entire time. And I had everybody
looking at me, going, you know, I need to shut
your child.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
And you know, you know what silent reflex is an
absolute kular. You were just in pure survival mode. You're
doing whatever it takes.
Speaker 7 (15:55):
Right absolutely because there's nothing else you can do.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
So you were thinking along the lines of what they
say about French kids where they eat at restaurants, so
they're well behaved and you and I will just take
them to restaurants and they'll learn their manners that way.
Speaker 7 (16:10):
Exactly right. It's like, well, I've got to listen to it,
so so do you.
Speaker 8 (16:13):
Chris.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Happy Mother's Day, Happy Mother's Day, Thanks for tuning in
all the mums out there, and this is great news
for mums and the ladies amy because it's about magazines.
And I know you girls, like when your man goes
off to work and the kids are at school, you'll
just put your feet up and read magazines all day.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
Yeah, that is exactly what we do. No housework or.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Cleaning, no mags. A new idea, and.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
That would be nice, wouldn't it.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Cosmo was one of the most famous ones, and it's
coming back, which is weird because all you hear about
is print things being shut down.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Now Cosmo's coming back.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
It does listen. I am in two minds about it.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
It was a really exciting period of my life in
my teens, buying the Cosmo every month.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
We loved it. I'd get all my fashion Inso just a.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Little bit puzzled why they are resurrecting it because everybody
has everything at the fingertips now, right, so.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Everything old is new again. I think people want to
people want to hold something in their hands screen.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
What else what can you what else is new?
Speaker 2 (17:14):
You mean what's old that's new?
Speaker 9 (17:16):
Like?
Speaker 4 (17:16):
What else is old that's new again?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
People are getting back into bike riding.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
I got gords, Sure you know what? That is a
little bit cool? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Yeah, look, Cosmo. I will be excited. Look, I'll buy
a magazine. I'll probably show Charlie. I actually spent more
time reading Dollar.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
How old's Charlie you're doing?
Speaker 4 (17:36):
She's nine or she's Cosmo.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Show maybe Look, these are the magazines that mummy used
to read.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
What did you used to read when you were like
her age?
Speaker 4 (17:46):
Yeah? Well listen.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
I was never allowed to have it at her age,
but my girlfriends would get Dolly and we would like
go to the someone's house after school and we'd peel
open the sealed section, the Dolly Doctor section, and it
would talk about periods and discharged.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
My boyfriend says, I can't get pregnitive. I keep my
eyes closed exactly.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Yeah no, But I felt like I felt like we
were ahead of the game.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
I was like, I know exactly how to French kiss
a boy. Thanks for Dolly Doctor.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Dolly was a weird one because it has those had
those girls on the front, you know, like a midriff
top y and like, but it's a girl that like
you go, I don't think you're old enough to be hot.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
No, why are you dressed like that? I don't know.
I'm very conflict.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
You're lucky, you don't have any girls, because that's what
the girls of the young girls are today, dressed like.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Oh my god, don't get me started.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
We can save that for another day.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I'm seriously terrified. I've got two boys.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
There are only four and six now, but as Henry
and Oscar grow up and get phones and get on
the I'm terrified of the stuff that I know because
I've seen it. I know what they can see really easily.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
What about you, what was your favorite magazine Zoo Weekly?
Speaker 2 (18:54):
I mean that one coming whoever did zoo?
Speaker 3 (18:56):
You legends if you're listening, Cosmo's coming back, Bring back Zoo.
So I used to work at another radio station where
Zoo Weekly would arrive every week every Monday it was
New Zoo Day.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
And did you just scurry off into the toilet with
a mag.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Well, yeah, we get it was good when it was
fresh out of the pack and it hadn't been into
the bathroom yet.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Because it'd be left in there.
Speaker 4 (19:16):
Nicky. No, it was just.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
People sitting on the loo. It wasn't dodgy, but you
know it was Zoo Weekly. To come in. Crystal from
Big Brother was on the front of the second week.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
You had the gross injuries trades with like mangled hands
and tendons hanging compound frash ankles.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
And the joke section this is I was the best,
but I mean it wouldn't.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
You wouldn't do it in the like it was like
what did the Chinese transvestite say on nine to eleven?
Speaker 2 (19:44):
And you'd be like, Okay.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
That's why Zoo Weekly isn't out anymore.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
That is why it is no longer on shelves.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Chris, you mentioned Amy that you couldn't wake up Ryan
this morning.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
I wake this day. He's like a corp because he
was snoring. I wasn't in bed with my wife.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
That sparked my attention. You sleep with your husband? How
nice we've been in No, we've been in separate beds.
And I know a lot of people have thoughts on this,
and you can bring it one give it to me
thirteen one oh six five because everyone says that's a
terrible idea. But it started because I was working in
breakfast radio. My alarm would go off at four am.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
She didn't want to hear that.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
But now I don't work every morning here on the weekend,
but we still sleep separately because we both like it
and get better night's sleep.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
Can I say?
Speaker 1 (20:37):
I would say my girlfriend group is it's probably like
a fifty to fifty split. Some of my girlfriends sleep
completely separate to their husbands and they love it.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
It's fit fifty to fifty.
Speaker 4 (20:49):
Maybe No, sorry, I made that up. I gave it.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
I'm not a total weirdes, you're not.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
A total widow. Off the top of my head, I
can think of two people. One of them sleep separate
from her husband because he sleeps with that see pap machine.
He's got sleep appily, so he sounds like daft vada
next to her, okay, And so they were like, there
is absolutely no way we're sharing rooms. I think a
positive of this because I actually sleep with my husband
and I share a bed with him, and I like it.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
I wouldn't sleep separate from him.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Is it because you worry it would affect intimacy?
Speaker 2 (21:20):
No, didn't sleep not at all.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
I mean I think I like getting into bed with
him because One is a hot water bottle.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
He's fantastic in winter, he keeps me warm. Two, it's
probably the only time we are intimate.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
I mean, if we weren't sleeping in separated, if we
were sleeping in separate beds.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
We would just find other ways and means.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Does he wake you up first?
Speaker 4 (21:39):
He did. I used to call him the night leg No,
I am awake.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
We do do a lot of adult cuddling in the
middle of the night, but I am awake for it.
I do call him the nighttime predator though, because he
does like to initiate stuff at like midnight. But I look,
I am a consenting partner, and we kind of do
our deed and then we kind of.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Just roll back over and go to So does it
blend into a dream or something like that?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
In your dreams, something's pressing against your back and then
suddenly you're awakened.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
More often than not, I am having some sort of
lucrative sex dream about I don't know. Tom Hardy, there
was one about Putin which was very disturbing, and you.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Said a lucrative sex dream as well.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
I'm assuming you're looking for a different word and you
weren't working as a high end prostitute. But lucrative sex
dream work ludicrous. Maybe I'm insane, or maybe there's a
lot of people doing this. Ashley has called it. Ashley,
are you with me on sleeping separately?
Speaker 2 (22:34):
I think it's the worst in the world with me, okaya,
the beginning to the end. Yeah, we sleep well with
for one of us always get to sleep.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Marriage is over. Do you sleep with your partner, Ashley?
Speaker 10 (22:50):
Yeah? Anything suggested otherwise I'd be like, are we over?
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (22:55):
Thanks Ashley. That's the beginning of the end that was.
That was a happy okay? So please, have you got
some happier news for me?
Speaker 6 (23:02):
I don't want to end on that, so I am
a few I think sleeping apart is the best thing
because my I've got a husband who snores like a
freight train yep, and not sleeping.
Speaker 10 (23:12):
In the same bed means I'm not kicking him all night.
We both end up having a really good sleep, and
as a result, we're happier. So I think it's the
best thing to do.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
You know what, I totally agree with that.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
If Ryan was a snorer, like a freight train snorer,
I would one hundred percent separate from him into separate rooms,
because you're right, you're if you're being kept up all
night by some like hibernating there next to you, you're
gonna wake up with the shits.
Speaker 10 (23:36):
Exactly, And so it makes everyone happier. I actually can
hear my husband sometimes he sleeps with one of my
sons and I can hear him snoring so loud down
the hallway, and o'bestly giggling in my bed knowing that
I'm sleeping really well.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
When I get to sleep, I've had that.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
I'm downstairs and Georgie sleeps in the bedroom on top
of me, and she's like, you slept on your back
last night.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
I could hear you snoring.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
You're a freight train.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Yeah, Absence makes the heart grow fonder, do you?
Speaker 8 (24:00):
So?
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Do you have to have dates, Sarah to get intimate?
Is it like, hey, your room or my room? Is
it it's like doing it at a hotel?
Speaker 4 (24:08):
Well, she's not kids, She's probably doing it in the shower, right.
Speaker 10 (24:11):
You just have to be creative. So for everyone that
sleeps separately, it all still happens you just as I said,
it has to be creative.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
No further questions. Thank you, Sarah, Chris.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Happy Mother's Day to all the mums out there and Amy,
especially to you with you were joking today a lot
about coming into work being nice because you get away
from Ryan and the kids. But sincerely, thank you for
spending your Mother's Day in here at a radio station
doing the show Most Welcome.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
It has been really good. Obviously, it's our first weekend.
It's been really fun, and I feel like, look, what.
Speaker 4 (24:43):
Do I've prefer to have a sleep in at home
with my kids?
Speaker 1 (24:45):
No, because that doesn't happen. So it's been nice being
here with you.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Do you know like you should get like loading a
public holiday Mother's Day?
Speaker 4 (24:52):
Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
I do loading.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
But then that opens though, because then people are like, oh,
well I had to work Anzac Day.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
I'm like, well, were you in the tree?
Speaker 4 (25:00):
Did you go to war?
Speaker 2 (25:01):
We're not getting double time in her half, that's true,
so you play two up.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
No, but happy Mother's Day. Are you going to see
your mom today? Are you close with your mom?
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Is she still alive?
Speaker 4 (25:11):
She's still alive.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Okay, I'm not going to see her today because they
abandoned me. They have actually bought a house two hours
away from.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
Where I live now.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
I think I just had too many children and they
were like, see yah, I won't see her today, but yes,
I am incredibly close with her. Sounds a bit corny
and cliche, but she's truly my best friend. And she
changed from being a parent into my friend in my teens,
and I honestly it is the best thing that she
could have ever done, because like my dad was always
(25:41):
quite the disciplinary police prosecutor, and my mom switched from
a parenting role into a friend role quite quickly, and
it just allowed me to be really close with her,
and she was like a safe space, and you know,
I could confide in her about certain things that I
obviously had to keep secret from my dad.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
And she's my best pace.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
It's funny you men talking to your mum about it,
not your dad.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
I've watched my mum because I've got a younger brother
and a younger sister.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
I'm one of three.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
I've watched my mom sort of take on that role
of a friend with my sister and their friends. They
took everything but me and my brother, the two boys,
where she's still mum. She's still Mummy, like we're still
her sons will never.
Speaker 4 (26:21):
Be you, You'll never have that female.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Female friendship still.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
And it's funny because I've got two brothers, and my
brothers would say the exact same thing, like their mom
is still mummy.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
I need my mummy forever like never, I will always
need my mond.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
You know what, when I get sick or even you know,
even when I was in labor and I just given
birth and I was in I felt like I'd been
hit by a freight train. All I wanted in that
exact moment was my own mum, even the way.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
She's made, even like she could be if she brought
you over a soup or something like that, it could
be some shit out of a packet that she's heated
up and put in tuppleware and said, I made this,
and it would taste better, it would warm you, moly
healthy becau because it's motherly yeah, coly water.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Even my mom. Like when I had kids and stuff,
my mom would come turn up. And obviously I've got
a husband and he's quite hands on, he's really great.
But like my mom would walk in my door and
just hit the ground running. She'd be putting on loads
of washing, putting the dinner on.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
Women just know.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Women better than most men do, right, Let's be honest.
And so that's why I do. I have a really
really close relationship.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
With my mom.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
I only can dream of having a similar relationship with
my own daughter.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
But what about you? Are you close? I mean obviously
you're still.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, love mom. I love your mom.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
You're listening, and I love my wife is super mum
to a boys. She is incredible. So love you, Georgie.
And she even said about my mom. Georgie loves my
mom too, and said, if you want to know if
a guy's a good man or not, look at his mother.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Yes, and if he's got a good mom.
Speaker 4 (27:52):
Well, you know what, Ryan's actually got two moms.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
His parents have no his parents split up like twenty
two decades ago or longer, and so he does have
two moms and they're both so incredible.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
So let's be two.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
And you've won up to me again. All right, I've
got a great mom, so I must be a good guy.
Ray Will. We're still getting to know each other a lot.
I'd love to sit here and pay tribute to you
as the world's best mom, and I don't know if
you will. Well maybe it is, so let's hear from
the people who know best.
Speaker 9 (28:24):
Yeah, I love you, and thank you for being the
best man in the World's Hong Kong coug and thank
you so much forgging.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
Me tickles Warma.
Speaker 11 (28:40):
Happy Mother's Day, Mom, I hope you have a great day.
And I'm so lucky to have a mom like you.
You're the best at doing everything. It's for dancing, because
I'm the best dancer in the family.
Speaker 8 (28:56):
I would say thank you, thank you, Mom.
Speaker 9 (29:06):
I'm gonna tell you how much I love you. I
love you to lit City and the moon and back
you luch yeah, and I love you playing fun games
with me.
Speaker 5 (29:20):
Say thank you never never, Hey, babe, wishing you a
happy Mother's Day.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
We're really grateful for everything that you do for us
and we all love you so much.
Speaker 7 (29:36):
Have a great day.
Speaker 5 (29:39):
Never be.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Happy Mother's Day.
Speaker 6 (29:42):
Amy, What the how did you do that?
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Well?
Speaker 3 (29:47):
We got your husband rather, I want him to record
the kids and everything.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Wow, that's a surprise.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
I overcome with emotion, which never happens.
Speaker 4 (29:58):
I normally only cry in movies.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Now welcome to FM radio. Nothing counts. Still there's tears.
Speaker 4 (30:04):
That was really nice.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Wow, Happy Mother's Day. Have a great day with the family.
Chris Page and Amy Gerard
Crisp Page, Is it my turn to interview you now?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
It is?
Speaker 3 (00:05):
Yes, if you can stop burping for a minute, I'm
sure you can interview me. By the way, we're getting
to know each other by interviewing each other this morning.
I'm getting to know that you love a big belch
hi during the songs.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
I do not mind a belch.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Yeah, and I'm into it. Is it wrong? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Well you know what, some people they like it. Some
people fight in front of their husbands. Some people don't write.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Don't fight, but keep the burps going. I kind of
like it.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
All right, I'm bringing them on. It is now time
for me to ask the questions of you. Chris Page,
you're in the hot seat. What were you like as
a kid?
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Okay, well, sexy, definitely, like I thought you all the
weird uncles. No nightmare it's what now they call adhd.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
Oh yeah, undiagnosed.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Back then it was just a prick.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Yeah, just a real little term.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
And they didn't have medication for it.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
So I went to a selective school, not a special school.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
My brother loves saying that you went to a special school.
Not that special.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Yeah, so really really smart kids. I used to be smart.
Dorin what anymore. But we made the teachers lives hell,
and it wasn't like the normal stuff, Like it wasn't
you know, setting fire to their car and that sort
of basic.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
Stuff, because that's how I tormented my teachers.
Speaker 5 (01:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Yeah, it was the little psychological mind games, particularly with
the substitute teachers. So you'd get one guy came in.
It was his first day. It's like as a trainee teacher.
One thing he did every time he turned around to
ride on the board, we'd all just move our desks
a few inches closer, so it was gradual. So he
turned around and then he wasn't sure if he was
(01:47):
imagining it or if it was real. So it's sort
of in his head, feels a bit like a nightmare,
and it sort of does his head in do you.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Have the whole class in on this?
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Oh wow.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
So he he's imagining it at first, and then eventually
he realized he wasn't imagining it because we were like
had him closed in around at the blackboard with our
desks like he was trapped. Then he goes, right, that's it,
stop playing games with me. And someone goes your fly's undone,
and he goes no, stop it. I said, no more games,
and we're like, no.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
No, it really is. And he looked down and it
really was.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
He ran out of the room in tears and decided
he didn't want to be a teacher anymore.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Oh my god, are you what age was this?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Fifteen? I guess fourteen fifteen a bully? I was not
a bully.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I mean, you were softly bullying your teacher.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
I was testing the point that he resigned a student
teacher to see whether or not they'd cut it in
the real world. I did him a favor. He's probably
out plumbing or something and making a hell of.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
A lot more money.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
Definitely Inspector. Now.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yeah, there was another teacher we drove insane. He changed
from one school to ours, and he changed his name
because the kids at the old school picked on him
so much and he was the butt of all the jokes.
He didn't want word getting to our school that it
was that guy.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Wow, what who are you?
Speaker 5 (03:01):
So?
Speaker 3 (03:02):
He was mister Finn at his old school, but he
changed it to I think it was his mother's maiden
name or.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Something like that.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Did you all catch wind though, to.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Mister Trendall at our school? Yes, And of course we
found out. So mister Trendall who taught us, if if
you called him mister Finn, which was his secret old name,
he'd blow up something de luxe. So we'd find ways
to do it, like he'd walk home. We'd yelled at
him out of the bus and everything. But the best
one in like the quote outside his block where he
(03:32):
taught on the second floor. We got like a hundred
of us and we all laid on the ground on
the ashphalt and spelt out Finn with our bodies, like
you know, lying out and just so, and then someone
got him to look out the window.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Wow, were you at a boarding school?
Speaker 2 (03:46):
No?
Speaker 3 (03:47):
No, Like why why I can't go home at three
o'clock every day and still do this shit at school?
Speaker 4 (03:53):
But also like.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
We like that sounds a little bit weird, like were
you not playing doing normal kids shit?
Speaker 2 (03:59):
What handbon just tormenting your teachers?
Speaker 4 (04:02):
I don't know, it sounds it's.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Giving cruel, it's giving cruel and mean and like you
guys are a.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Kind of asshole.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Anyway, that was me, and it was because it was
a public school. We saved money because it was good
because my parents had me down for a wanky private
school and they said, you can choose which one you
go to, no pressure. And I said, all right, I'll
go to the public one for free, and they said,
great choice. We're getting a swimming pool. Okay, we've got
to play a song. What else have you got for me?
Speaker 1 (04:27):
I've got a few more questions for you and the
next couple. I'm going to fling your way.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
A're going to be a little.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Deeper, deeper, deeper. You're ramming it all the way, Chris.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
We're getting to know each other a little bit today, Aimes,
we're interviewing each other and you are in the questionnaires
seat right now.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Okay, let's get deeper. What about when was the last
time you cried?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Okay, well, obviously not when you've found out that we
would be working together.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
No.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I was tears of happiness and they said, hey, this
this Instagram influencer who wants to do radio.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
I thought, I wish there was more of my roll.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Yeah, properly cried like sobbed was to be honest, And
I don't know if you wanted this level of honesty,
but it was probably the moment I realized that I
needed to go to rehab for alcohol and and it
just it was just something that got progressively problematic over
(05:27):
a period of years, and you know, it was it
was getting worse, and a lot of other people.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I was the last to realize.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I guess like a lot of people around me, like
my my wife and you know, my family, my friends
were all probably there and I but you need to
realize yourself because rehab you can't force someone to go.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't get.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
It to drink right exactly.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Well, you could get me to drink a whole lot
every day, so that wasn't problem. I need you needed
the horse to stop drinking all the time. So yeah,
the last time I cried was probably when I finally
had that realization that you need to go, because I'd
ring people like I'd ring up friends and go can
you believe this? My wife Georgie says I need to
go to rehab and waiting for them to go. Women, yeah, no,
(06:15):
you don't, And none of them did. They were like, oh, yeah,
so you thinking of doing it? When a you're going
to go? And I kept ringing people, even my really
loose like loosest animal friends. Hey, Georgie thinks as you
got to rehab and they're like, yeah, okay, yeah, hey,
not the worst thing.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Mate.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
Can I ask how long with rehab? Is it like
you go away for a state?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (06:37):
How long?
Speaker 6 (06:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:38):
You're an impatient for most of them, about a month.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
I want.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
I am so interested to understand what do they do there.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
It's not like one flew over the cookoo's nest in
the seventies with lobotomy lobotomies, I didn't get the nail
up my nose, but it's it's full on. You have
things like group therapy sessions every day where you're sitting
in a room with like seven or eight other people
and there's a therapist and you're going around sharing stories.
And there was a lot of guilt for me because
(07:09):
I was sitting in these groups of people with what
you would describe compared to them as like this perfect life,
like a good upbringing, good parents, and a nice family.
And literally you go, I'm the only person in this
room that wasn't molested or something, and what's my excuse
to have an addiction? So you felt I felt like
a bit of an outsider like that. It's weird, but
(07:31):
there's all different types.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Of addicts there's drug addicts, sex addicts in there.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
There's all not just for alcohol. So you said it,
it's not just for piss heead but so there's all
different types. But one thing I will say, there's normal
people in there.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
It's not. It's not a looney people.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
Who have had traumatic upbringings and stuff like that. It's not.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
I thought it'd be full of freaks and loonies, yeah,
and full on tweakers. It's actually people like you and me,
blows who have just you know, things have just gotten
off the track a little bit. Things far and they're
just getting back on track. So there's one stigma I
can break forward.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
Yeah, okay, well this is good. I mean I'm not
there yet.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
You do have a lot of you you're on Instagram
and that there's a lot of wine.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
There is a lot of wine.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
But listen, that's more from a passion projects type thing.
I like to think that Ryan and I are similias now,
so we're all about like understanding the history of wines
and vintagers and.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
All that kind of a lot of the people in
rehab said that is this how it begins. But rehabit
there are some funny things in rehab though as well.
One of the alcoholics, draankled the hand sanitizer. Oh wow,
don't do, by the way, but there is, you know
there alcoholic content. Yeah, sanitizer, there is, which is what
makes it sanitary.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
So he like that, that's that's that's thirsty.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
That's like, that's thirsty, isn't it when you're getting in
the dance fronting?
Speaker 4 (08:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Yeah, but it obviously works when you get in. You know,
it did work for me. But I said there was
sex addicts in there.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
So one I found out that the person I had
to share a room with was was a sex addict.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
An informonia a male or a male?
Speaker 3 (09:13):
I'm male, bisexual sex addict and go And maybe I'm
flattering myself, but I went, should I be sharing a
room with a like bisexual sex addict?
Speaker 4 (09:26):
And did you get hit on?
Speaker 2 (09:27):
No?
Speaker 6 (09:28):
No?
Speaker 2 (09:28):
No really? My go as well. But they say humility
is a big part of sobriety, so that helped.
Speaker 6 (09:34):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Okay, this is very interesting. I am learning so much
about you and this is really great. Let's finish on
one last question. It's a really important one. I think
everybody will want to know. What is the nickname that
you have for.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
Your penis Bruce Willis, Bruce Wills.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Well, look, I'm a big fan of Bruce. I know
he's not doing too well at the moment, but neither's
my old fellas.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
You're obviously circumcised.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
No, oh, no, I don't think.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Of Bruce Willis.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
I think if his big, bald shiny looks like the
head of a circumcised paint.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Yes, no, exactly why picture Bruce Willis wearing a skin
colored beanie. Yeah, and uh, and you're getting closer. Bruce Willis.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
I like him. He's cool, he's old now, he is
quite old. He's got dementia as well. He's fading.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
He's fading fast and it's not going well. So No,
originally it was called Bruce Willis because he's not real long,
but he's pretty solid.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Like do you say to your wife, Georgie, come on,
Bruce is waiting.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Bruce Is ready, yippie kay gum and jump on Bruce.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yeah, Chris, you're very big.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
On the Instagram, the Instagram, old man. You know you're
on there doing mother stuff and saying look at my kids,
give me money along those lines. Yeah, but no jokes
aside your mother stuff on there it seems quite raw
and real, and you you're sharing things from your friends
and yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Think it's important to highlight the truths of motherhood.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
And I also feel like, I, like a.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Lot of moms out there, was a bit of a
schmuck before having children. You know, you always think that
you're going to be the perfect parent before you actually
become one.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
And the birth thing itself you have like, I know,
my wife had this plan. This is how it's going
to go, this is the timeline. And I try, yeah,
and I'm like, what do I know?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
But I'm still going babies. I don't think you can
plan all this stuff.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
You look, you can have a plan. I've actually got
a girlfriend at the moment who is.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
A couple of she's about two months off giving birth.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
It is her first child. Yeah, and she is going.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
To all ends of the earth in order to have
what she deems the most perfect birth, Like she wants
to have an orgasm while she's having contractions because someone
in hypnobirthing told her that she could reach climax, so
she's aiming high. She wants to be giving birth at home,
which is fine, a lot of people do homebirths, but
she also doesn't want any medical intervention, right, and I
(12:05):
just want to be like, babe, just you know, however
the baby gets here, let's just get it here safely.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
Just identifying her. Does she live in Mullumbimbi. That's the vibe.
I'm featuring a bluehaired woman squatting over a magnesium bath
or something.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
I mean, no, and I don't know where it's all
coming from.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
And I absolutely respect that that's how she wants to
give birth. But I also know, having had three births,
that more often than not, when you do have a
birthing plan, it kind of gets thrown out the window.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
You're so right about the expectations as a parent, and
when you go and you go, I'm going to do this.
Some of them are hilarious. I thought, and I'm guilty
of it, Yes, that I would only give my kids
organic food.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
Oh god, I didn't see that one coming. That's completely unrealistic.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Well, because you hear about hormones and chemicals and salts
and everything, you go, right, I'm going to do this.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
You also have to be a millionaire. Yeah right, it's
too expensive.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
And they won't eat it.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Literally, we alternate between dino nuggets and fish fingers on
and off every.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
Second half kind of spag bowl and nuggets. That's it. Alternate.
I feel like that Lisa's spag bowl. I can throw
some hidden vegetables in there as well.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
But I also I was that parent that would see
like kids tantruming at the supermarket or out in public,
and I was so judging.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
How can they let them do that? Carry on like that?
Speaker 1 (13:25):
I was a Karen And I just want to go
back in time and give myself an upper cut because
I have three children who loved to tantrum in public
and they have meltdowns.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
And I've had one of my kids.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Who flapping around on the floor like barrow moundy out
of water in you know, one of the supermarkets, and
it's mortifying.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
My friend, let's call it Emma because that's her name,
was pregnant with her first child and she said, I'll
tell you what.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
The one thing about my kid is they're not having
any screen time.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Can I just say, I feel like kids come out
and a watch screens within a minute, right because everyone's
got their phones down and they want to they want
to post on the Instagram, and so kids are getting
screen times within the first minute of them being born.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
No, we tried to do it without it literally within
sixty seconds. Then did.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
Mom?
Speaker 1 (14:18):
You try to make it feel better because you're like,
LOUI is really fun and it's somewhat educational and it's
like real life events and it's okay.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
And then they've been watching it for eight hours for
the whole day.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Just don't do Pepper Pig I hate. She's heard as well.
She is calling her dad fat. You know they copy
that kid's daddy. You're tummy so big and fat?
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Don't you hear?
Speaker 4 (14:40):
Person?
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Don't you think I hear about that repeated word for it?
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Jenna has given us a call. Jenna, thanks for calling in.
Were you a deluded you time?
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Mother?
Speaker 7 (14:49):
I was totally I was totally one of you. I
was going to have this, this perfect birth with no intervention.
Speaker 4 (14:55):
Yep, I was.
Speaker 7 (14:56):
I was going to have you know, like all going
food and quaff nappy?
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Oh the cloth?
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Oh were you going to do the really expensive wet
wipes as well, because you know the seven dollar ones
you can buy and they have no chemicals there, no
chemicals are going to touch my kids scrow them and
then like yeah, then now we're straight off to aldi.
Speaker 7 (15:14):
Now that was me and I got I got two
berths that were completely different and I needed medical interventions. Yep,
I also got two children with silent reflux. So there's
no no screen time, no screen time. That was me.
I was no TV, no nothing I needed. I needed
TV like it was you know, it was going out
(15:35):
of fashion and I absolutely and even like things like
taking them out for dinner and stuff like that, they
would just screen the entire time. And I had everybody
looking at me, going, you know, I need to shut
your child.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
And you know, you know what silent reflex is an
absolute kular. You were just in pure survival mode. You're
doing whatever it takes.
Speaker 7 (15:55):
Right absolutely because there's nothing else you can do.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
So you were thinking along the lines of what they
say about French kids where they eat at restaurants, so
they're well behaved and you and I will just take
them to restaurants and they'll learn their manners that way.
Speaker 7 (16:10):
Exactly right. It's like, well, I've got to listen to it,
so so do you.
Speaker 8 (16:13):
Chris.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Happy Mother's Day, Happy Mother's Day, Thanks for tuning in
all the mums out there, and this is great news
for mums and the ladies amy because it's about magazines.
And I know you girls, like when your man goes
off to work and the kids are at school, you'll
just put your feet up and read magazines all day.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
Yeah, that is exactly what we do. No housework or.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Cleaning, no mags. A new idea, and.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
That would be nice, wouldn't it.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Cosmo was one of the most famous ones, and it's
coming back, which is weird because all you hear about
is print things being shut down.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Now Cosmo's coming back.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
It does listen. I am in two minds about it.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
It was a really exciting period of my life in
my teens, buying the Cosmo every month.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
We loved it. I'd get all my fashion Inso just a.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Little bit puzzled why they are resurrecting it because everybody
has everything at the fingertips now, right, so.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Everything old is new again. I think people want to
people want to hold something in their hands screen.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
What else what can you what else is new?
Speaker 2 (17:14):
You mean what's old that's new?
Speaker 9 (17:16):
Like?
Speaker 4 (17:16):
What else is old that's new again?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
People are getting back into bike riding.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
I got gords, Sure you know what? That is a
little bit cool? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Yeah, look, Cosmo. I will be excited. Look, I'll buy
a magazine. I'll probably show Charlie. I actually spent more
time reading Dollar.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
How old's Charlie you're doing?
Speaker 4 (17:36):
She's nine or she's Cosmo.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Show maybe Look, these are the magazines that mummy used
to read.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
What did you used to read when you were like
her age?
Speaker 4 (17:46):
Yeah? Well listen.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
I was never allowed to have it at her age,
but my girlfriends would get Dolly and we would like
go to the someone's house after school and we'd peel
open the sealed section, the Dolly Doctor section, and it
would talk about periods and discharged.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
My boyfriend says, I can't get pregnitive. I keep my
eyes closed exactly.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Yeah no, But I felt like I felt like we
were ahead of the game.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
I was like, I know exactly how to French kiss
a boy. Thanks for Dolly Doctor.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Dolly was a weird one because it has those had
those girls on the front, you know, like a midriff
top y and like, but it's a girl that like
you go, I don't think you're old enough to be hot.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
No, why are you dressed like that? I don't know.
I'm very conflict.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
You're lucky, you don't have any girls, because that's what
the girls of the young girls are today, dressed like.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Oh my god, don't get me started.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
We can save that for another day.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I'm seriously terrified. I've got two boys.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
There are only four and six now, but as Henry
and Oscar grow up and get phones and get on
the I'm terrified of the stuff that I know because
I've seen it. I know what they can see really easily.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
What about you, what was your favorite magazine Zoo Weekly?
Speaker 2 (18:54):
I mean that one coming whoever did zoo?
Speaker 3 (18:56):
You legends if you're listening, Cosmo's coming back, Bring back Zoo.
So I used to work at another radio station where
Zoo Weekly would arrive every week every Monday it was
New Zoo Day.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
And did you just scurry off into the toilet with
a mag.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Well, yeah, we get it was good when it was
fresh out of the pack and it hadn't been into
the bathroom yet.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Because it'd be left in there.
Speaker 4 (19:16):
Nicky. No, it was just.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
People sitting on the loo. It wasn't dodgy, but you
know it was Zoo Weekly. To come in. Crystal from
Big Brother was on the front of the second week.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
You had the gross injuries trades with like mangled hands
and tendons hanging compound frash ankles.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
And the joke section this is I was the best,
but I mean it wouldn't.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
You wouldn't do it in the like it was like
what did the Chinese transvestite say on nine to eleven?
Speaker 2 (19:44):
And you'd be like, Okay.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
That's why Zoo Weekly isn't out anymore.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
That is why it is no longer on shelves.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Chris, you mentioned Amy that you couldn't wake up Ryan
this morning.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
I wake this day. He's like a corp because he
was snoring. I wasn't in bed with my wife.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
That sparked my attention. You sleep with your husband? How
nice we've been in No, we've been in separate beds.
And I know a lot of people have thoughts on this,
and you can bring it one give it to me
thirteen one oh six five because everyone says that's a
terrible idea. But it started because I was working in
breakfast radio. My alarm would go off at four am.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
She didn't want to hear that.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
But now I don't work every morning here on the weekend,
but we still sleep separately because we both like it
and get better night's sleep.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
Can I say?
Speaker 1 (20:37):
I would say my girlfriend group is it's probably like
a fifty to fifty split. Some of my girlfriends sleep
completely separate to their husbands and they love it.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
It's fit fifty to fifty.
Speaker 4 (20:49):
Maybe No, sorry, I made that up. I gave it.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
I'm not a total weirdes, you're not.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
A total widow. Off the top of my head, I
can think of two people. One of them sleep separate
from her husband because he sleeps with that see pap machine.
He's got sleep appily, so he sounds like daft vada
next to her, okay, And so they were like, there
is absolutely no way we're sharing rooms. I think a
positive of this because I actually sleep with my husband
and I share a bed with him, and I like it.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
I wouldn't sleep separate from him.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Is it because you worry it would affect intimacy?
Speaker 2 (21:20):
No, didn't sleep not at all.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
I mean I think I like getting into bed with
him because One is a hot water bottle.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
He's fantastic in winter, he keeps me warm. Two, it's
probably the only time we are intimate.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
I mean, if we weren't sleeping in separated, if we
were sleeping in separate beds.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
We would just find other ways and means.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Does he wake you up first?
Speaker 4 (21:39):
He did. I used to call him the night leg No,
I am awake.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
We do do a lot of adult cuddling in the
middle of the night, but I am awake for it.
I do call him the nighttime predator though, because he
does like to initiate stuff at like midnight. But I look,
I am a consenting partner, and we kind of do
our deed and then we kind of.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Just roll back over and go to So does it
blend into a dream or something like that?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
In your dreams, something's pressing against your back and then
suddenly you're awakened.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
More often than not, I am having some sort of
lucrative sex dream about I don't know. Tom Hardy, there
was one about Putin which was very disturbing, and you.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Said a lucrative sex dream as well.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
I'm assuming you're looking for a different word and you
weren't working as a high end prostitute. But lucrative sex
dream work ludicrous. Maybe I'm insane, or maybe there's a
lot of people doing this. Ashley has called it. Ashley,
are you with me on sleeping separately?
Speaker 2 (22:34):
I think it's the worst in the world with me, okaya,
the beginning to the end. Yeah, we sleep well with
for one of us always get to sleep.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Marriage is over. Do you sleep with your partner, Ashley?
Speaker 10 (22:50):
Yeah? Anything suggested otherwise I'd be like, are we over?
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (22:55):
Thanks Ashley. That's the beginning of the end that was.
That was a happy okay? So please, have you got
some happier news for me?
Speaker 6 (23:02):
I don't want to end on that, so I am
a few I think sleeping apart is the best thing
because my I've got a husband who snores like a
freight train yep, and not sleeping.
Speaker 10 (23:12):
In the same bed means I'm not kicking him all night.
We both end up having a really good sleep, and
as a result, we're happier. So I think it's the
best thing to do.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
You know what, I totally agree with that.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
If Ryan was a snorer, like a freight train snorer,
I would one hundred percent separate from him into separate rooms,
because you're right, you're if you're being kept up all
night by some like hibernating there next to you, you're
gonna wake up with the shits.
Speaker 10 (23:36):
Exactly, And so it makes everyone happier. I actually can
hear my husband sometimes he sleeps with one of my
sons and I can hear him snoring so loud down
the hallway, and o'bestly giggling in my bed knowing that
I'm sleeping really well.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
When I get to sleep, I've had that.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
I'm downstairs and Georgie sleeps in the bedroom on top
of me, and she's like, you slept on your back
last night.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
I could hear you snoring.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
You're a freight train.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Yeah, Absence makes the heart grow fonder, do you?
Speaker 8 (24:00):
So?
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Do you have to have dates, Sarah to get intimate?
Is it like, hey, your room or my room? Is
it it's like doing it at a hotel?
Speaker 4 (24:08):
Well, she's not kids, She's probably doing it in the shower, right.
Speaker 10 (24:11):
You just have to be creative. So for everyone that
sleeps separately, it all still happens you just as I said,
it has to be creative.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
No further questions. Thank you, Sarah, Chris.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Happy Mother's Day to all the mums out there and Amy,
especially to you with you were joking today a lot
about coming into work being nice because you get away
from Ryan and the kids. But sincerely, thank you for
spending your Mother's Day in here at a radio station
doing the show Most Welcome.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
It has been really good. Obviously, it's our first weekend.
It's been really fun, and I feel like, look, what.
Speaker 4 (24:43):
Do I've prefer to have a sleep in at home
with my kids?
Speaker 1 (24:45):
No, because that doesn't happen. So it's been nice being
here with you.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Do you know like you should get like loading a
public holiday Mother's Day?
Speaker 4 (24:52):
Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
I do loading.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
But then that opens though, because then people are like, oh,
well I had to work Anzac Day.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
I'm like, well, were you in the tree?
Speaker 4 (25:00):
Did you go to war?
Speaker 2 (25:01):
We're not getting double time in her half, that's true,
so you play two up.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
No, but happy Mother's Day. Are you going to see
your mom today? Are you close with your mom?
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Is she still alive?
Speaker 4 (25:11):
She's still alive.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Okay, I'm not going to see her today because they
abandoned me. They have actually bought a house two hours
away from.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
Where I live now.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
I think I just had too many children and they
were like, see yah, I won't see her today, but yes,
I am incredibly close with her. Sounds a bit corny
and cliche, but she's truly my best friend. And she
changed from being a parent into my friend in my teens,
and I honestly it is the best thing that she
could have ever done, because like my dad was always
(25:41):
quite the disciplinary police prosecutor, and my mom switched from
a parenting role into a friend role quite quickly, and
it just allowed me to be really close with her,
and she was like a safe space, and you know,
I could confide in her about certain things that I
obviously had to keep secret from my dad.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
And she's my best pace.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
It's funny you men talking to your mum about it,
not your dad.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
I've watched my mum because I've got a younger brother
and a younger sister.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
I'm one of three.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
I've watched my mom sort of take on that role
of a friend with my sister and their friends. They
took everything but me and my brother, the two boys,
where she's still mum. She's still Mummy, like we're still
her sons will never.
Speaker 4 (26:21):
Be you, You'll never have that female.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Female friendship still.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
And it's funny because I've got two brothers, and my
brothers would say the exact same thing, like their mom
is still mummy.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
I need my mummy forever like never, I will always
need my mond.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
You know what, when I get sick or even you know,
even when I was in labor and I just given
birth and I was in I felt like I'd been
hit by a freight train. All I wanted in that
exact moment was my own mum, even the way.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
She's made, even like she could be if she brought
you over a soup or something like that, it could
be some shit out of a packet that she's heated
up and put in tuppleware and said, I made this,
and it would taste better, it would warm you, moly
healthy becau because it's motherly yeah, coly water.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Even my mom. Like when I had kids and stuff,
my mom would come turn up. And obviously I've got
a husband and he's quite hands on, he's really great.
But like my mom would walk in my door and
just hit the ground running. She'd be putting on loads
of washing, putting the dinner on.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
Women just know.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Women better than most men do, right, Let's be honest.
And so that's why I do. I have a really
really close relationship.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
With my mom.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
I only can dream of having a similar relationship with
my own daughter.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
But what about you? Are you close? I mean obviously
you're still.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, love mom. I love your mom.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
You're listening, and I love my wife is super mum
to a boys. She is incredible. So love you, Georgie.
And she even said about my mom. Georgie loves my
mom too, and said, if you want to know if
a guy's a good man or not, look at his mother.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Yes, and if he's got a good mom.
Speaker 4 (27:52):
Well, you know what, Ryan's actually got two moms.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
His parents have no his parents split up like twenty
two decades ago or longer, and so he does have
two moms and they're both so incredible.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
So let's be two.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
And you've won up to me again. All right, I've
got a great mom, so I must be a good guy.
Ray Will. We're still getting to know each other a lot.
I'd love to sit here and pay tribute to you
as the world's best mom, and I don't know if
you will. Well maybe it is, so let's hear from
the people who know best.
Speaker 9 (28:24):
Yeah, I love you, and thank you for being the
best man in the World's Hong Kong coug and thank
you so much forgging.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
Me tickles Warma.
Speaker 11 (28:40):
Happy Mother's Day, Mom, I hope you have a great day.
And I'm so lucky to have a mom like you.
You're the best at doing everything. It's for dancing, because
I'm the best dancer in the family.
Speaker 8 (28:56):
I would say thank you, thank you, Mom.
Speaker 9 (29:06):
I'm gonna tell you how much I love you. I
love you to lit City and the moon and back
you luch yeah, and I love you playing fun games
with me.
Speaker 5 (29:20):
Say thank you never never, Hey, babe, wishing you a
happy Mother's Day.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
We're really grateful for everything that you do for us
and we all love you so much.
Speaker 7 (29:36):
Have a great day.
Speaker 5 (29:39):
Never be.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Happy Mother's Day.
Speaker 6 (29:42):
Amy, What the how did you do that?
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Well?
Speaker 3 (29:47):
We got your husband rather, I want him to record
the kids and everything.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Wow, that's a surprise.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
I overcome with emotion, which never happens.
Speaker 4 (29:58):
I normally only cry in movies.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Now welcome to FM radio. Nothing counts. Still there's tears.
Speaker 4 (30:04):
That was really nice.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Wow, Happy Mother's Day. Have a great day with the family.
Chris Page and Amy Gerard
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