June 5, 2025 • 14 mins
Prawns, Perspective & Parenting: Why the Silly Moments Matter Most
Sometimes the most ridiculous memories become the most meaningful.
In this heartfelt Friday episode, Justin and Kylie reflect on family, connection, and the unexpected power of silly traditions—like reenacting a 50-year-old prawn-and-tomato-sauce date. From celebrating milestones to navigating teenage heartbreak, this episode reminds us that family life isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up, being all-in, and seeing our children through a lens of love.
KEY POINTS
- Family memories don’t have to be perfect to matter.
A chaotic dinner with bad food can become a treasured story if shared with love and laughter. - Perspective is everything—especially with big emotions.
When a teenager's heartbreak feels overwhelming, a shift in perspective can transform frustration into compassion. - Silly moments build strong families.
Reenactments, impromptu plays, or saying “yes” to your child’s wild idea create connection and shared joy. - The long game in parenting matters.
Showing up, sticking it out, and staying connected builds legacy—not just for now, but for generations. - Every child’s intensity is a strength in disguise.
Big emotions may feel inconvenient in the moment—but they’re often the foundation for deep love and character.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“We think we’re supposed to have perfect families—prawns and tomato sauce is not a perfect dish. But that’s the stuff of family.”
RESOURCES MENTIONED
- The Parenting Revolution by Dr. Justin Coulson
- This is Connection – book mentioned by a listener
- Shift by Ethan Kross – for understanding and managing emotions
- happyfamilies.com.au
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
- Say Yes to the Silly Stuff
When your kids ask to put on a play, reenact a moment, or share something ridiculous—join in. - Shift Your Perspective
If you’re feeling frustrated, try seeing the situation through someone else’s eyes—especially your child’s. - Celebrate the Everyday
You don’t need a 50th anniversary to make memories. Make ordinary moments extraordinary by being present. - Notice the Strength in Emotion
Big feelings can be exhausting—but they reveal depth, empathy, and passion. Name the strengths behind the storm. - Invest TIME
Kids spell love T-I-M-E. Whatever else you have going on this weekend, spend it with them.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hello and welcome to the Happy Families podcast, Real Parenting Solutions.
Every day on Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast. We are
Justin and Kylie Colson. It's Friday. I feel like saying, frya.
I know that that's really cringe. If our children were
hearing that, and in fact, if anyone's hearing that, they
might have decided to stop. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Kylie,
(00:26):
help me rescue me. What should I say? Fee, No, Nick,
I'd double down on it. That was terrible. All right,
here's what we do every Friday in the pod for
those of you who may be new. Great thing about
what I do for work is it's so gratifying. I
get to travel around the country give talks. Everywhere, people
clap and say how much I've helped their families. It's wonderful,
and many people will say I listen to the podcast
(00:46):
every day. Just recently, a couple of weeks ago, I
was in Perth. A man and his wife handed me
a letter and it was just basically saying we and
he mad, sure, Justin, this is for you and Kylie
like they were really really explicit, this isn't just for you?
This is for both of you, and the letter was
basically them saying we love the podcast. It helps us
so much. A couple of weeks ago, I got an
(01:06):
email from a mum who we featured on the podcast.
She sent us a voice note to podcasts at Happy
Families dot com dot IU, and we offered some advice
on one of our Tricky Tuesday podcasts. Here's what she said, Kylie.
She said, hearing my voice on today's podcast shocked me.
I had to listen to the episode a few times
just to digest it fully. I like that. I think
(01:27):
everyone should listen to all of our episodes a few times.
That's good, isn't it right. We're saying stuff that's so deep,
so meaningful, need a few listeners.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
No, I think it's just hearing your own voice. If
it's not something you used to it really really disconcern.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
She was saying. I had to listen to it so
that I could get used to my voice. She said,
I had to listen to digest the podcasts anyway.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
That's because she was still caught up on the fact
that she'd heard hersell.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Since attending your talk at my kids' school, I signed
up for the Happy Families Membership. I wanted to write
so many times, off and out of sadness, burnout and
pairing overwhelm, but I never did Today not only to
thank you, but also to share more about my daughter.
Your work has become part of my everyday life. I
listen to your podcast while walking the dog, your webinars
while working, and I've replaced Netflix at night with your books.
(02:12):
At first, it felt like a cold shower, realizing how
many mistakes I'd made despite trying so hard to be
the perfect mother. I've read many parenting books, but yours
have truly helped me to turn things around. I've started
using the three e's, staying calm and focusing on connection.
I'm not perfect, and there's still a long road ahead,
especially when the kids are rude or dismissive, but I
feel hope again. Thank you for helping me reconnect and
(02:33):
find a better path forward. Your work is making a
real difference in our family. Thank you from the heart
and PS. I'm reading this Connection and the Parenting Revolution
at the same time.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
She's hardcore.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
So now I know that some people might listen to
me read that out and say, oh my goodness, I'm
listening to this podcast so this guy can pat himself
on the back. That's actually exactly the opposite. I'm reading
it out because it means so much to you and
I to know that we're actually being helpful. And if
you're new to the podcast, that's our promise. We want
to be helpful. We want to give you real pairing
(03:04):
solutions every day, the sort of things that you don't
want to miss the podcast for because it can really
make a difference.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
So much of family life feels really hard. You feel
like you're in the trenches, and often we can't see
the light. And one of the things that you and
I value so much is having that sense of hope.
We've used the word many times, the idea that we
could be hope builders, that we could just elevate your
(03:33):
thinking enough to realize that while you're in the thick
of it, it's not always going to be like that,
and there are solutions.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Speaking of being in the thick of it, and that
there is hope. My Old do Better Tomorrow is not
actually about Anna, because that's anis old Better Tomorrow. Rather,
it's about what we did last weekend. And I know
that there's a whole lot of other stuff that we
could talk about. But this was just so meaningful to
me that I really want this to be our conversation today.
We had the opportunity to go down to the Gold
(04:03):
Coast and celebrate my mum and dad's fiftieth wedding anniversary,
which is such a milestone. I mean, fifty years. Is
that the gold wedding anniversary? Yeah? Okay, I should have
given them something old. I should have given them a
given him a pineapple, given him a fifty.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
I didn't Are you going to say two dollars?
Speaker 1 (04:19):
I didn't give them something? What did I? Oh, that's right.
I bought a ridiculous expensive cake.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
That's what we laced in gold.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
You felt like the amount of money. Anyway, here's the
point that I wanted to make. First some background. Mum
and Dad met for the first time on the Gold Coast.
I don't know if it was schoolers or around maybe
there was a year after schoolers or something like that,
but they're on the Gold Coast. Mom's gone into this
Chinese restaurant. She's hanging out with the friends. My dad
walks in with a couple of his friends. He knows
(04:47):
a girl that's sitting with Mum. So they start chatting
and my mom is looking at my dad. This is
really uncomfortable for me to say this, but my mom's
looking at my dad going haba, haba, like I think
he's pretty hot. And then they get talking and my dad,
this is even more embarrassing to share. My dad orders
prawns and tomato sauce for dinner, which I mean, who
(05:10):
does that? Who does that happens even on the menu.
My mum and literally was like, who does that? But
she was so enamored by my dad that he only
stayed for a few minutes ate some prawns and tomato sauce,
didn't even finish them, all left them. She ate them
in I don't believe. I mean, this is terrible. But
then a few weeks later, back in western Sydney they
grew up in that Auburn Granville area for those of
(05:32):
you who are familiar with the geography, They bumped into
each other at a dance and that set it all off.
And now six children and like eighteen or twenty grandchildren later,
and a couple of great grandkids. Mom and Dad celebrating
their fiftieth wedding anniversary, and Mum has lined it up
the restaurant that existed back in the nineteen seventies no
longer exists. But she's lined up this little, cool and
(05:53):
gatta Chinese restaurant that literally only has room for about
twenty people in it. We'd like to come in, we
want to visit, we want to relive the moment. And
they literally ordered prawns and tomato sauce, discuss it was inedible.
In fact, overwhelmingly it wasn't the best Chinese meal we've
(06:14):
ever had in our lives.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
But what's so funny about this story you missed? The
punchline was that she didn't even remember meeting him at
the Chinese store. It wasn't until they had been dating
for a period of time. They went to a Chinese
restaurant and.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Dad ordered bronze and tomato sauce, and she went, hang.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
On a sec, were you at the Chinese restaurant? And
he was like, yeah, that was me.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
So here's my older better tomorrow point. The meta point.
Mom and dad were there with unfortunately one of the
kids couldn't make it, but they were there with five
of their six kids. There's me, then twin sisters, then
my brother, then twin sisters. So five of the six kids,
a whole bunch of grandkids and even a great grandchild
was there as well, And for them to sit there
and reminisce talk about their meeting, talk about the events
(07:01):
leading up to their marriage and the birth of these children.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
And didn't just talk about it again you miss in
all the details. They actually got you guys reenacting it.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
So mum goes, I want to reenact this, and she's
saying this to me and my brother. So here's what
we're going to do. Dad's going to walk into the
restaurant talking to you guys, and you're going to be
his mates, and I'm going to be here talking to
one of my sisters. She's going to be my girlfriend
that I'm hanging out with, and then Dad's going to
start talking to her, and then he's going to meet me,
and he's going to eat the prawns and tomato sauce
(07:31):
like they're making us do a reenactment. My brother's looking
at me, rolling his eyes, going, you're going to be
kidding me. This is bonkers. And yet and yet here
we are a week later and we're talking about it
and we're laughing about it because it's about the relationship.
It's about the memories, it's about the conversations, it's about
the sharing. It doesn't matter how dumb it is, how
(07:53):
silly it is, how ridiculous you look. You're having these experiences,
you're building these bonds, you're sharing these memories. And yes,
this is a fiftieth and most people who are listening
to this are not thinking about fiftieth wedding anniversaries. But
whatever you're doing with your kids, make a moment of it.
Do re enactments, do role plays, Do do those things
where the kids say, oh, I want to do a play,
(08:14):
and you're like, fine, we'll stop our meal and we
will watch you while you act something out that you
have not prepared, that you don't have a script for,
and that you've got no idea what you're going to
do or say. But we're going to do that. We're
going to watch you, and we're going to applaud anyway.
Why because we're building these memories, these bonds, these experiences,
these connections, and one day, fifty years down the track,
(08:34):
you might just look at each other and say, do
you remember that night, Do you remember that experience? Do
you remember that thing we did? And everyone's going to say, oh, yeah,
that was the worst, but you're going to laugh about it.
The memory is going to be emblazoned on your mind.
That is the stuff of families. We think that we're
supposed to have perfect families. Brawnze and tomato sauce is
(08:57):
not a perfect dish. And honestly, the meal that we
eight as a family last Friday night. I'm probably not
going to go to that Chinese restaurant again, no offense.
I'm not trying to be a food snob or anything
like that. I might be a little bit of one.
I'm not going back there. But forever now we will
remember that night when we sat there with Mum and
Dad celebrated their fiftieth acted out the role, watched them
(09:18):
literally scrunch up their noses as they tried doing the
front and tomatoes as and ultimately just left it on
the table. We're going to laugh about it. And how
then we walked outside it was freezing. We went and
got the gelados, and then our daughter decided that she
wanted to have a pizza from Dominoes across the road
because she didn't need enough Chinese, because she didn't like
the Chinese, like all those things are going to come back,
(09:39):
and I just think there's so much joy to be
found as we just live family life and we're all in,
we're fully committed. We make it work and ideally in
a perfect world in spite of the bumps and bruises
and challenges along the way. We stick it out so
that we can be sitting around that table in fifty
years and say, look at what the last fifty years
(10:00):
we've built. And it's got nothing to do with the
size of your house or the holidays you go on.
It's about the hearts of the people sitting around that table.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
You give me the feels good good.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
That's the point. Okay, so Kylie, I'll do better tomorrow.
Let's hear it from you. What is the thing that
you've either been intentional about or the inside that you've
had to build a stronger and happier family.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
One of our daughters has had a bit of a crush.
And when I say a bit of a crush, it's been.
It's been big.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
When you're a teenager, every crush is big, eternal love
forever like it is big, it's.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Huge, And recently she came to the awareness that it
wasn't reciprocated, and all the emotions were felt in one moment,
and that moment might have lasted for a long time.
I think we're still might be feeling the effects of it. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Week down the track, Yeah, it's been a rough week.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
And I was having a conversation with one of my
good friends and I was just saying, I just I
don't understand it. It's so big, and it feels so
disproportionate to what she's experienced because there wasn't even a
relationship there. I would have expected based on what she
was feeling, that she'd been in a relationship for two years,
(11:23):
they thought they were going to get married. Like this
has been really big. It has literally stopped her in.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
A trap, robbed a world.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
And she looked at me and she just said, oh
my gosh, I love your daughter. She said she feels
things so big, and I said, yeah, you're telling me.
And then she she looked at me and she said,
you know, when she finds her man, she said, he
is going to be the luckiest person on the world,
in the world, because she will love him fiercely. And
(11:54):
it was just this moment where I sat back and
I went, oh, how is it that it's taken my friend,
with her perspective, to shift the frustration that I was
feeling at this kid who's feeling these massive emotions, and
she's just changed my tune in a heartbeat. The idea
(12:15):
that our kids will have these big emotions feel inconvenient
at times in our lives, and we often don't recognize
the magnitude of them for them. And I just love
that my friend was able to rearrange things in my
brain and help me to see this gorgeous, amazing young
(12:36):
woman for the beautiful qualities that she has. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Yeah, I'm reading a book by Ethan Cross, University of
Michigan researcher. We had him on the podcast while back
talking about his book Chatter The internal voice that we have.
This one's called Shift. It's about our emotions, and one
of the things that he really highlights is that if
we want to shift our emotions, if we're in a
heightened emotion state, sometimes what we need is perspective. We
(12:59):
need to literally change our position, and that might mean
that we go for a walk, or we move back
a couple of meters, or that we create some space.
But sometimes it's just getting another person's voice in our
head and this beautiful different perspective as we've lived through
the emotional roller coaster. Actually it's been an emotional earthquake.
(13:24):
It hasn't been a roller coaster. As we move through
the emotional earthquake of the last week, we've kind of
gotten to the point where we're going, we are starting
to become a bit annoyed with this human that lives
in our home. And then you hear that perspective, and
you go, ah, we love this kid so much, and
we'd forgotten about all of the beautiful attributes and qualities
(13:45):
that she brings, those characteristics that light us up about her.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
But I think it's more than that. I think it's
the recognition that the very qualities that drive us crazy
about people, when seen from a different perspective, are actually
the things that make that person who they are. Love
this here's this kid with this massive heart and this
capacity to love so deeply.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Well, we really hope that the insights and the ideas
that we shared with you in today's Friday edition of
The Happy Famili's podcast will help you to have a
different perspective on the way that you're viewing relationships, especially
if they're tough and tricky. The long game is the
game that matters, and your kids really do have some
characteristics and attributes that are noteworthy and delightful and that
(14:28):
can and really do bring joy. Thank you so much
for listening to The Happy Famili's podcast is produced by
Justin Rouland from Bridge Media. Have a wonderful weekend, spend
time kids, be loved to. Im Me spend time with
your kids this weekend, and we'll be back on Monday
with more from the Happy Families podcasts.
Hello and welcome to the Happy Families podcast, Real Parenting Solutions.
Every day on Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast. We are
Justin and Kylie Colson. It's Friday. I feel like saying, frya.
I know that that's really cringe. If our children were
hearing that, and in fact, if anyone's hearing that, they
might have decided to stop. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Kylie,
(00:26):
help me rescue me. What should I say? Fee, No, Nick,
I'd double down on it. That was terrible. All right,
here's what we do every Friday in the pod for
those of you who may be new. Great thing about
what I do for work is it's so gratifying. I
get to travel around the country give talks. Everywhere, people
clap and say how much I've helped their families. It's wonderful,
and many people will say I listen to the podcast
(00:46):
every day. Just recently, a couple of weeks ago, I
was in Perth. A man and his wife handed me
a letter and it was just basically saying we and
he mad, sure, Justin, this is for you and Kylie
like they were really really explicit, this isn't just for you?
This is for both of you, and the letter was
basically them saying we love the podcast. It helps us
so much. A couple of weeks ago, I got an
(01:06):
email from a mum who we featured on the podcast.
She sent us a voice note to podcasts at Happy
Families dot com dot IU, and we offered some advice
on one of our Tricky Tuesday podcasts. Here's what she said, Kylie.
She said, hearing my voice on today's podcast shocked me.
I had to listen to the episode a few times
just to digest it fully. I like that. I think
(01:27):
everyone should listen to all of our episodes a few times.
That's good, isn't it right. We're saying stuff that's so deep,
so meaningful, need a few listeners.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
No, I think it's just hearing your own voice. If
it's not something you used to it really really disconcern.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
She was saying. I had to listen to it so
that I could get used to my voice. She said,
I had to listen to digest the podcasts anyway.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
That's because she was still caught up on the fact
that she'd heard hersell.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Since attending your talk at my kids' school, I signed
up for the Happy Families Membership. I wanted to write
so many times, off and out of sadness, burnout and
pairing overwhelm, but I never did Today not only to
thank you, but also to share more about my daughter.
Your work has become part of my everyday life. I
listen to your podcast while walking the dog, your webinars
while working, and I've replaced Netflix at night with your books.
(02:12):
At first, it felt like a cold shower, realizing how
many mistakes I'd made despite trying so hard to be
the perfect mother. I've read many parenting books, but yours
have truly helped me to turn things around. I've started
using the three e's, staying calm and focusing on connection.
I'm not perfect, and there's still a long road ahead,
especially when the kids are rude or dismissive, but I
feel hope again. Thank you for helping me reconnect and
(02:33):
find a better path forward. Your work is making a
real difference in our family. Thank you from the heart
and PS. I'm reading this Connection and the Parenting Revolution
at the same time.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
She's hardcore.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
So now I know that some people might listen to
me read that out and say, oh my goodness, I'm
listening to this podcast so this guy can pat himself
on the back. That's actually exactly the opposite. I'm reading
it out because it means so much to you and
I to know that we're actually being helpful. And if
you're new to the podcast, that's our promise. We want
to be helpful. We want to give you real pairing
(03:04):
solutions every day, the sort of things that you don't
want to miss the podcast for because it can really
make a difference.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
So much of family life feels really hard. You feel
like you're in the trenches, and often we can't see
the light. And one of the things that you and
I value so much is having that sense of hope.
We've used the word many times, the idea that we
could be hope builders, that we could just elevate your
(03:33):
thinking enough to realize that while you're in the thick
of it, it's not always going to be like that,
and there are solutions.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Speaking of being in the thick of it, and that
there is hope. My Old do Better Tomorrow is not
actually about Anna, because that's anis old Better Tomorrow. Rather,
it's about what we did last weekend. And I know
that there's a whole lot of other stuff that we
could talk about. But this was just so meaningful to
me that I really want this to be our conversation today.
We had the opportunity to go down to the Gold
(04:03):
Coast and celebrate my mum and dad's fiftieth wedding anniversary,
which is such a milestone. I mean, fifty years. Is
that the gold wedding anniversary? Yeah? Okay, I should have
given them something old. I should have given them a
given him a pineapple, given him a fifty.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
I didn't Are you going to say two dollars?
Speaker 1 (04:19):
I didn't give them something? What did I? Oh, that's right.
I bought a ridiculous expensive cake.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
That's what we laced in gold.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
You felt like the amount of money. Anyway, here's the
point that I wanted to make. First some background. Mum
and Dad met for the first time on the Gold Coast.
I don't know if it was schoolers or around maybe
there was a year after schoolers or something like that,
but they're on the Gold Coast. Mom's gone into this
Chinese restaurant. She's hanging out with the friends. My dad
walks in with a couple of his friends. He knows
(04:47):
a girl that's sitting with Mum. So they start chatting
and my mom is looking at my dad. This is
really uncomfortable for me to say this, but my mom's
looking at my dad going haba, haba, like I think
he's pretty hot. And then they get talking and my dad,
this is even more embarrassing to share. My dad orders
prawns and tomato sauce for dinner, which I mean, who
(05:10):
does that? Who does that happens even on the menu.
My mum and literally was like, who does that? But
she was so enamored by my dad that he only
stayed for a few minutes ate some prawns and tomato sauce,
didn't even finish them, all left them. She ate them
in I don't believe. I mean, this is terrible. But
then a few weeks later, back in western Sydney they
grew up in that Auburn Granville area for those of
(05:32):
you who are familiar with the geography, They bumped into
each other at a dance and that set it all off.
And now six children and like eighteen or twenty grandchildren later,
and a couple of great grandkids. Mom and Dad celebrating
their fiftieth wedding anniversary, and Mum has lined it up
the restaurant that existed back in the nineteen seventies no
longer exists. But she's lined up this little, cool and
(05:53):
gatta Chinese restaurant that literally only has room for about
twenty people in it. We'd like to come in, we
want to visit, we want to relive the moment. And
they literally ordered prawns and tomato sauce, discuss it was inedible.
In fact, overwhelmingly it wasn't the best Chinese meal we've
(06:14):
ever had in our lives.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
But what's so funny about this story you missed? The
punchline was that she didn't even remember meeting him at
the Chinese store. It wasn't until they had been dating
for a period of time. They went to a Chinese
restaurant and.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Dad ordered bronze and tomato sauce, and she went, hang.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
On a sec, were you at the Chinese restaurant? And
he was like, yeah, that was me.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
So here's my older better tomorrow point. The meta point.
Mom and dad were there with unfortunately one of the
kids couldn't make it, but they were there with five
of their six kids. There's me, then twin sisters, then
my brother, then twin sisters. So five of the six kids,
a whole bunch of grandkids and even a great grandchild
was there as well, And for them to sit there
and reminisce talk about their meeting, talk about the events
(07:01):
leading up to their marriage and the birth of these children.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
And didn't just talk about it again you miss in
all the details. They actually got you guys reenacting it.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
So mum goes, I want to reenact this, and she's
saying this to me and my brother. So here's what
we're going to do. Dad's going to walk into the
restaurant talking to you guys, and you're going to be
his mates, and I'm going to be here talking to
one of my sisters. She's going to be my girlfriend
that I'm hanging out with, and then Dad's going to
start talking to her, and then he's going to meet me,
and he's going to eat the prawns and tomato sauce
(07:31):
like they're making us do a reenactment. My brother's looking
at me, rolling his eyes, going, you're going to be
kidding me. This is bonkers. And yet and yet here
we are a week later and we're talking about it
and we're laughing about it because it's about the relationship.
It's about the memories, it's about the conversations, it's about
the sharing. It doesn't matter how dumb it is, how
(07:53):
silly it is, how ridiculous you look. You're having these experiences,
you're building these bonds, you're sharing these memories. And yes,
this is a fiftieth and most people who are listening
to this are not thinking about fiftieth wedding anniversaries. But
whatever you're doing with your kids, make a moment of it.
Do re enactments, do role plays, Do do those things
where the kids say, oh, I want to do a play,
(08:14):
and you're like, fine, we'll stop our meal and we
will watch you while you act something out that you
have not prepared, that you don't have a script for,
and that you've got no idea what you're going to
do or say. But we're going to do that. We're
going to watch you, and we're going to applaud anyway.
Why because we're building these memories, these bonds, these experiences,
these connections, and one day, fifty years down the track,
(08:34):
you might just look at each other and say, do
you remember that night, Do you remember that experience? Do
you remember that thing we did? And everyone's going to say, oh, yeah,
that was the worst, but you're going to laugh about it.
The memory is going to be emblazoned on your mind.
That is the stuff of families. We think that we're
supposed to have perfect families. Brawnze and tomato sauce is
(08:57):
not a perfect dish. And honestly, the meal that we
eight as a family last Friday night. I'm probably not
going to go to that Chinese restaurant again, no offense.
I'm not trying to be a food snob or anything
like that. I might be a little bit of one.
I'm not going back there. But forever now we will
remember that night when we sat there with Mum and
Dad celebrated their fiftieth acted out the role, watched them
(09:18):
literally scrunch up their noses as they tried doing the
front and tomatoes as and ultimately just left it on
the table. We're going to laugh about it. And how
then we walked outside it was freezing. We went and
got the gelados, and then our daughter decided that she
wanted to have a pizza from Dominoes across the road
because she didn't need enough Chinese, because she didn't like
the Chinese, like all those things are going to come back,
(09:39):
and I just think there's so much joy to be
found as we just live family life and we're all in,
we're fully committed. We make it work and ideally in
a perfect world in spite of the bumps and bruises
and challenges along the way. We stick it out so
that we can be sitting around that table in fifty
years and say, look at what the last fifty years
(10:00):
we've built. And it's got nothing to do with the
size of your house or the holidays you go on.
It's about the hearts of the people sitting around that table.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
You give me the feels good good.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
That's the point. Okay, so Kylie, I'll do better tomorrow.
Let's hear it from you. What is the thing that
you've either been intentional about or the inside that you've
had to build a stronger and happier family.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
One of our daughters has had a bit of a crush.
And when I say a bit of a crush, it's been.
It's been big.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
When you're a teenager, every crush is big, eternal love
forever like it is big, it's.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Huge, And recently she came to the awareness that it
wasn't reciprocated, and all the emotions were felt in one moment,
and that moment might have lasted for a long time.
I think we're still might be feeling the effects of it. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Week down the track, Yeah, it's been a rough week.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
And I was having a conversation with one of my
good friends and I was just saying, I just I
don't understand it. It's so big, and it feels so
disproportionate to what she's experienced because there wasn't even a
relationship there. I would have expected based on what she
was feeling, that she'd been in a relationship for two years,
(11:23):
they thought they were going to get married. Like this
has been really big. It has literally stopped her in.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
A trap, robbed a world.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
And she looked at me and she just said, oh
my gosh, I love your daughter. She said she feels
things so big, and I said, yeah, you're telling me.
And then she she looked at me and she said,
you know, when she finds her man, she said, he
is going to be the luckiest person on the world,
in the world, because she will love him fiercely. And
(11:54):
it was just this moment where I sat back and
I went, oh, how is it that it's taken my friend,
with her perspective, to shift the frustration that I was
feeling at this kid who's feeling these massive emotions, and
she's just changed my tune in a heartbeat. The idea
(12:15):
that our kids will have these big emotions feel inconvenient
at times in our lives, and we often don't recognize
the magnitude of them for them. And I just love
that my friend was able to rearrange things in my
brain and help me to see this gorgeous, amazing young
(12:36):
woman for the beautiful qualities that she has. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Yeah, I'm reading a book by Ethan Cross, University of
Michigan researcher. We had him on the podcast while back
talking about his book Chatter The internal voice that we have.
This one's called Shift. It's about our emotions, and one
of the things that he really highlights is that if
we want to shift our emotions, if we're in a
heightened emotion state, sometimes what we need is perspective. We
(12:59):
need to literally change our position, and that might mean
that we go for a walk, or we move back
a couple of meters, or that we create some space.
But sometimes it's just getting another person's voice in our
head and this beautiful different perspective as we've lived through
the emotional roller coaster. Actually it's been an emotional earthquake.
(13:24):
It hasn't been a roller coaster. As we move through
the emotional earthquake of the last week, we've kind of
gotten to the point where we're going, we are starting
to become a bit annoyed with this human that lives
in our home. And then you hear that perspective, and
you go, ah, we love this kid so much, and
we'd forgotten about all of the beautiful attributes and qualities
(13:45):
that she brings, those characteristics that light us up about her.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
But I think it's more than that. I think it's
the recognition that the very qualities that drive us crazy
about people, when seen from a different perspective, are actually
the things that make that person who they are. Love
this here's this kid with this massive heart and this
capacity to love so deeply.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Well, we really hope that the insights and the ideas
that we shared with you in today's Friday edition of
The Happy Famili's podcast will help you to have a
different perspective on the way that you're viewing relationships, especially
if they're tough and tricky. The long game is the
game that matters, and your kids really do have some
characteristics and attributes that are noteworthy and delightful and that
(14:28):
can and really do bring joy. Thank you so much
for listening to The Happy Famili's podcast is produced by
Justin Rouland from Bridge Media. Have a wonderful weekend, spend
time kids, be loved to. Im Me spend time with
your kids this weekend, and we'll be back on Monday
with more from the Happy Families podcasts.
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