June 11, 2024 • 38 mins
We've now met all four of our storytellers, but the competition has only just begun to heat up. This episode we see the return of Kate and Mark as they share a story on the theme Forgive and Forget.
Mark takes us back to the early 2000s, when Australian Idol was the beating heart of this nation’s popular culture. He speaks with one contestant whose wings were rising to the height of success and fame, before a twist of fate brought them crashing down.
Kate's break up story continues, as she turns to musical artist, Parissa Tosif from the band Valis Alps, to learn how they use their art to forgive and forget. She unexpectedly stumbles upon the reason as to why she always struggled with forgiveness.
Find and Tell is the search for the next generation of Australian storytellers. Each episode, join host Jamila Rizvi and the best up and coming storytellers the country has to offer.
Follow along each Wednesday to find out who will be crowned the Find And Tell champion and take home the grand prize.
Find And Tell is co-production between BlakCast & iHeart Australia.
Hosted by Jamila Rizvi
Storytellers are Naeun Kim, Mark Mariano, Ben Haywood & Kate Robinson
Show Producer is Jay Gasser
Mix & Mastering by Ryan Pemberton
Story producers are Indianna Symons, Ryan Pemberton, James Parkinson & Grace Richardson
Theme music by Alex Cox
Video production by All Things All Creatures @allthingsallcreatures
Special thanks to Mundanara Bayles, Corey Layton, Stephanie Coombes, Alyssa Partington, & Bree Steele.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name is Mark Mariana. I'm a storyteller on Find
and Tell. I'm Filipino and live on Diric Land. I'd
like to recognize the traditional custodians of this continent whose
land was stolen nearly two hundred and fifty years ago,
in particular the Cama, Eagle and Uruanderie people whose land
this podcast was recorded on, and we extend our respect
(00:21):
to all Aboriginal and Torrest Street Islander peoples. The rich
storytelling history of the world's oldest living culture is what
we pay homage to when we tell our stories on
Find and Tell.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Hello, I'm Jamila Risby.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Welcome back to Find and Tell, the search for the
next generation of Australian storytellers. Each week, our storytellers go
head to head to see who finds and tells the
best story, and every win brings them a step closer
to being crowned the Find and Tell Champion and winning
the grand prize. We've now met all four of our storytellers, Mark, Naar,
(01:00):
Kate and Ben and the competition.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Is starting to heat up.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Honestly, I have been blown away by the quality of
the stories that each of them has created so far.
It's genuinely incredible when you remember that they have never made.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Anything like this before.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Okay, so far Mark and Ben have each taken home
a win that we.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Are far from finished.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Today we have a new theme, Forgive and Forget. First
up to tackle the challenge is Mark.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
When we last.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Heard from Mark, he told a really beautiful story about
spirituality and sexuality.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Let's see what story he can find for us this time. Mark,
welcome back to find and tell.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I am so excited to be back.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Okay, we've done this. We've done this once. It's out
in the world. So you've had that feeling of it's
about to happen, and it's happened.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
You're ready to go again.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
I'm so ready.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
I think you're ready too. This week's theme is forgive
and Forget, so we're not we're not pulling any punches
forgiven forget. What was your first reaction when you saw
that written on the page?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Oh my goodness, I fell to the ground. I was sobbing.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
No.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I you know, it's such an interesting topic, interesting theme,
and I think something that a lot of maybe new
adults are experiencing, or just anyone in any stage of
their life, you know, having to let go is such
a hard thing. Having to feel your emotions and go
through them is so difficult. So I so many thoughts
(02:28):
came into my mind when I got the theme. But
I'm excited with how it turned out. I'm so happy
with how it turned out.
Speaker 5 (02:33):
All right.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Well, without further ado, let's hear your second story on
the theme of forgive and forget, Let's go.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
There are many moments in Australian television history that had
the whole country unbaited breath. We had Kathy Freeman's golden
run in the two thousand Olympics to the Tillies penalty
shootout against France. But back in two thousand and three,
all eyes were on Australian idol.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Has My the Decision?
Speaker 1 (03:01):
The live Grand final amassed over three million viewers.
Speaker 5 (03:06):
The winner of Australie Not in Gossip s.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
The debut season alone, tore through our country's music industry,
setting a new standard and method for the attainment of
musical fame. If you were too young to remember, idle
Mania had Australia in a chokehold. This wasn't your run
of the mill reality TV show. This was why two
K stardom. It was glitz and glamour and fame and fortune,
(03:39):
and the contestants became instant superstars. The series itself had
produced some of Australia's biggest names in the music industry
Jessica Mowboy, Riki Lee, Matt Korby Milsey. But one contestant
has lived in the back of my mind since I
was just eight years old at the time. But I
still remember that one feetful night in two thousand and three,
(04:03):
hundreds and thousands of Ossie families gathered around their boxy
TVs and tenas tuned to Channel ten, hearts pounding brows, sweating,
palms clenched.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
However, Cosma rescently that you would like to say, I'd like.
Speaker 6 (04:21):
To thank all my supporters and the Australian public for
believing in me. I've been extremely humbled by the support
that you have shown me.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Where were you the night Costumer Divito withdrew from Australian Idol.
Speaker 6 (04:36):
Unfortunately, I have a temporary condition that's affecting my voice.
It's forced me to make the decision to leave the competition.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
It was the worst case scenario. Costumer Divito, the singer
adored by everyone, was pulling out of the competition just
as she was becoming an unstoppable force. Australian Idol is
once in a lifetime opportunity, and all these years later,
I still think about it and I think about Costomer.
(05:07):
Where is she now?
Speaker 4 (05:09):
It's so hot, isn't it? Oh my god today? Are
you okay? You look like you're sweating as well.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Yes, my gorgeous, beautiful sheen because I've got to shut
off the fan for the recording purposes. That's showbiz, baby,
I know, I know, yes, that is the Costomer de Vito,
the legend herself. It was her husky, deep voice that
caught everyone's attention. During the very first season of Australian Idol.
(05:36):
She was so popular that she was brought back as
a wild card after an early knockout.
Speaker 7 (05:41):
When I came back as a world card and then
I got into top twelve, it was like go go, Go,
go go.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
However, a hefty run of Belty ballads soon caught up
to the twenty six year old.
Speaker 6 (05:52):
This has been the most difficult decision of my life.
But I'm not sure that I'm going to be able
to give one and that my voice is gonna hold up.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Costomer still remembers the point in the competition where her
voice started to slip away.
Speaker 7 (06:08):
And then every week I was noticing, what's happening with
my voice is getting really deep. It was there, but
it was just deeper and deeper and deeper. It was
vocal nodules.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
This is every singer's nightmare. Vocal nodules are benign folds
and lesions that can sometimes grow on your vocal chords.
It affects both your singing and speaking voice, drastically changing
your natural vocal tone. Amidst her rise up the ranks,
Cossomo was sent to a doctor who soon confirmed various
small nodual growths caused by vocal overuse.
Speaker 7 (06:42):
You either rest it or you keep going and they
get hard and then you have to have surgery.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
And as soon as you said surgery, I'm like Julie Andrews.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Julie Andrews, the songbird slash actress from the famed Sound
of Music, had surgery to remove vocal nodules in ninety nine.
Speaker 7 (07:01):
A routine procedure that I was told would not be
threatening to my vocal cords.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
The procedure scarred her vocal cords and she was never
able to sing the same again. So at this point,
Costumer was at a crossroads. She was given an ultimatum,
leave the competition and heal, or push on and risk
injuring herself permanently.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
No, we're not doing that. It was hard. It was hard.
I was crying when I was reading that speech.
Speaker 6 (07:29):
And again, a big, big kiss and hugs to everyone
who's supported me. You have humbled me and I'm forever
grateful for what you've done.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
For Costomer, running the risk of losing her voice forever
was not an option. In the end, she decided to
leave Australian Idol to enter a course of recovery that
would get her back on track, but off the winning one.
Costumer was a fan favorite and many thought she would win,
but then her world fell apart, and her hopes and
(08:05):
aspirations for her singing career soon followed.
Speaker 7 (08:09):
Because in that moment, you just feel like your whole
world is crumbling. That's what it felt like in that moment.
That was extremely difficult. The day after I withdrew, I
remember I had to hide out in the hotel because
all the media, it was such a hype after I left,
and for me, I felt like I had lost an opportunity.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
The year after Idole was the hardest for Customer. The
songshis that hit an all time low, and with her
future up in the air, she struggled with her sense
of self.
Speaker 7 (08:42):
It took a good year, I think before my head
was on straight. But even then, a lot of reflection,
a lot of mourning. I wasn't able to watch any
singing competition for years, and then that whole year I
had this paranoia that they were going to come back.
So every time I sang as a psychological component that
(09:04):
comes with it also because you feel, oh my god, it's.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Going to come back again. I'm going to lose my
voice again.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
The series finale had taken center stage and for a
period of time, Costomer was nowhere to be found. While
everyone wondered where she had gone, the show moved on
without her, and she used this moment of quiet to
find herself and her voice again.
Speaker 7 (09:29):
As soon as I got off the show, it was like, Okay,
I'm in India, Now what's my next step? And that's
when I went, you know what, I had to be
part of the Idol tour. I had to start speech therapy,
so I was doing that twice a week. I was
going to a vocal coach who was familiar with singers
who had nodules, and it was just rehabilitation. It was
(09:51):
just hardcore rehabilitation, no singing, just working on getting it
back to where it was.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Costomer threw herself into recovery. While she couldn't win this series,
she hit back stronger during the Top twelve tour. The
two thousand and four concert was Costumer's return to the
Australian Idol stage and in their opening group number, she
was back as a crowd favorite. So after all this,
(10:28):
where is the diva? Now? What about Costomer? Having recently
dropped a duet with Nolsey, the indie artist has hot
plans for her music ventures.
Speaker 7 (10:37):
It's a project that I've been working on since last year.
I can't say too much at the moment, but I'll
be touring towards the end of the year and it's
very exciting and you need to come. I promise, I
promise you'll love it. I promise, but I'm very excited
about it.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
While there was a hard decision leaving Idol, there was
no other choice. She took the route that in short,
she would be able to keep singing for the rest
of her life. This was simply a hurdle, one that
she triumphantly conquered with a lot of time and care.
Speaker 7 (11:10):
I love my power ballads. The depressing power ballads are
my thing. I think that's the Italian in me. When
you sing an Italian and you sing an Italian ballad,
it's very different to when you do it in English,
just just so much more passionate, and you know the
words and the lyrics.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
It's just different. I absolutely love it, love it.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
When I interviewed Costomer, I was starstruck. We share a
love for singing, and I too dreamed of being a
pop star. I mean, who didn't. I couldn't imagine being
on the rise she was on and then having to
let that go. When I spoke to Costomer, I was
taught an important life lesson and it had nothing to
do with music.
Speaker 7 (11:50):
The thing I guess that got me through it was
just the It was the old Wise title of you
know everything happens for a reason, because you know, there's
a reason why you weren't meant to go all the way,
There's a reason why this has happened.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
I wouldn't have met my husband, I wouldn't met my daughter.
Speaker 7 (12:07):
You know, being an independent artist has been incredible.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
I've always done what I've wanted to do.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Do you have a message for any fans who, even
twenty years on, are still heartbroken over your Australian ad
or verdicts? I myself included, I'm one of them.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
You're gonna make me very emotional just by saying that.
I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank
you from.
Speaker 7 (12:30):
The bottom of my heart, even twenty one years on,
that you're all still standing by me. And every time
I post something, you're on social media, You're there.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
You're supporting me.
Speaker 7 (12:41):
I'm here because of you, and I used to say
that back then. Also, I'm here because you've voted for me,
because you fiercely voted for me and stood by me,
and you're still here today.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
I love to sing, but the support that I get
from fans is just beautiful and it's truly truly a gift.
It's truly a gift.
Speaker 7 (13:01):
And I thank you from the bottom of my heart
still being here.
Speaker 4 (13:04):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
I think sometimes we put too much importance on winning.
What I used to see as a heartbreaking withdrawal, I
now see as the importance of letting go of the
life and a path that's simply not meant for us. Sure,
in life will miss some chances, but there will always
be others.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
The human spirit's amazing.
Speaker 7 (13:31):
Only when you go through the lows can you really
learn about yourself and learn about life and how to
get through it.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
Otherwise you don't learn anything.
Speaker 7 (13:40):
You have to go through the lows, and it makes
you a different person on the other side of it,
and you wouldn't change that.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
When you get to the other side, it's great. It's
just through the storm that's really really hard. I'm forty seven.
I feel like I've let a lot of things go.
Speaker 7 (13:56):
When you reach forty it's just like, yeah, kay, I
feel like I'm still learning about myself.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
But I am stronger.
Speaker 7 (14:04):
I am stronger, and I do know a lot more
than what I did when I was twenty six years old.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
When the time comes and the opportunities you were meant
for are come your way, there's only one thing we
can do.
Speaker 8 (14:15):
We've got to rise, and that through the sky. We've
got to rise over.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Mountain.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
Hey, Mark, that was super fun and wild in its
degree of nostalgia. Like I'm still a bit like I
don't think I have thought about Cosmo Divido in a
very long time, but I was equally Australian idol obsessed
(14:55):
that first season.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Yes, it was iconic, it was it was it. It
changed the nation, it really did. It swept us away.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
I remember borrowing my mum's phone so I could text
vote for twenty cents or whatever it costs me on
a smith. But don't let me get get stuck there.
I hadn't thought about her in a long time. Why
this story? Why do you still think about her?
Speaker 1 (15:20):
So it's really interesting. This episode was meant to go
in a really different direction. I had some other people
in mind, but at its core, I really did want
to talk about this proximity to fame, this proximity to fortune,
to this like what many people consider to be the
jackpot of success, being so close and then not reaching it,
(15:45):
not hitting it, not winning, being second best. You know,
being seen is not good enough. And I think, I
think we really do just place so much weight into
success and into what you know, conventional success looks like,
when really it should be a personal thing. It really
should be an individual thing. You know, we will win
and thrive in our own ways, and it won't always
(16:08):
be winning season one of the streaming modol as we
came to find.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Were nervous about speaking to a cosma.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Yeah, I was a little starstruck. I was very starstark
speaking to her. But then as we eased into it,
it was like, no, we're not. This isn't an interview.
This is two adults having a conversation about the realities
of life and that things won't always go the way
that we want it to go, and how that is
completely fine and completely okay.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
You created a great redemption arc, you know, a sense
of hope came through with Costomer's story. Did you have
that episode arc planned out from the beginning? Did you
know where you were going or what did it look
like as it sort of shifted and remolded itself.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
I wanted it to be that she had won in
her own way, that she had forgiven this incredibly massive,
big deal that had happened to her, to forget it
in her own way, not completely disregard it, but to
just let go in her own way and then thrive.
I wanted that to be the third aspect of that
forgive and forget theme, because it just it doesn't require
(17:13):
a trophy it doesn't. Winning doesn't require a certain thing.
It could just be that you are content with your
life and loving who you are where you are now,
and understanding that there's more of a life to live
and that there's more to learn. And so yeah, listening
to customer vocalize that and speak that to existence was
just was so nice to hear.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
Mark.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Congratulations, another great episode, and I'm going to do an
extra shout out for the ending there.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Coming out on.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Rise Up, Gosh, you made me feel very, very old.
But then I was like bopping along. You know, I've
got to listen to this for the first time in
a studio. But I think if I'd been listening to this,
you know, with my EarPods running down the street, I
still would have broken out into a really big, fat
grin hearing that song again.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
So thank you forgive me that.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Of course you're not gone.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
That's two stories down for Mark, well done. Kate is
back with her second in Just a Moment. This is
Find and Tell. I'm Jamilla Risby, and this week's theme
is Forgive and Forget. Our next storyteller opened her heart
(18:28):
and revealed to the world the pain behind a really
difficult breakup a stunning story, but she had stiff competition
and didn't quite get the win. So let's hear what
she's made for us this time.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Hey, Kate, welcome back to Find and Tell.
Speaker 5 (18:45):
Thanks so much for having me Jamilla.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
We're about to hear your second story, but before we
get to that, I want to get to know a
little bit more about you beyond the beautiful vulnerability you
shared with us last week about your breakup.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
What do you do for a job?
Speaker 9 (18:59):
So I'm actually a visual artist, and so it's been
really cool for me because I think like how you
approach creating art with your hands and how you create art.
Speaker 5 (19:10):
For your ears is really different.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
How for those of us be on the obvious.
Speaker 9 (19:17):
Well, I think for me, a lot of it is
about feeling, and when I'm painting, I really follow colors
and motifs and things.
Speaker 5 (19:28):
That feel like home, that feel special.
Speaker 9 (19:31):
I think for a long time, when I was creating
like physical art, I thought that I had to paint
in a very particular way, And more recently I've realized
that No, I just love sparkly, tacky things.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
So that's what I'm going to focus on.
Speaker 9 (19:47):
And so I guess with the creative process, Like for
this podcast, it's super different in terms of how you
piece together a story and how you make things make sense.
But I'm also bringing that essence, like I'm just following
the feelings that I want to explore and little sparkly
things that bring me joy.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
To This week's theme is Forgive and Forget. What are
we about to hear?
Speaker 9 (20:12):
Yeah, to be honest, this was a really really difficult
podcast episode to create, I think because I have a
really difficult relationship with forgiveness. Yeah, so I saw Forgive
and Forget and I was like, really, do we have
to forgive and forget? But I guess also when they
gave us their themes, the intention was that we would
(20:33):
create three separate stories, and so I decided to mess
with the format a little bit. And so this one's
also about that.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Well, that is your right, my friend, and you get
to throw some glitter at it if you want to.
I can't wait to hear your second contribution to find
and Tell on Forgive and Forget.
Speaker 10 (20:56):
I feel like Persian, you can cover this up. Persian
taciness is coming in in a big way.
Speaker 5 (21:04):
Oh that's my aesthetic entirely.
Speaker 10 (21:06):
It's really just cool now.
Speaker 9 (21:10):
That's parasitosif she's one half of the band Vallas Alps,
and I'd originally wanted to talk to her because her
music had a big impact on me during a really
difficult breakup last year, But somehow, maybe because we're both Persian,
within minutes, I was instead pitching her own music video.
So there's my suggestion for a future video clip where
(21:32):
you just get thirty fake Versachi bathrobes and try and
incorporate them.
Speaker 10 (21:36):
Yes, that is fantastic. Well, I'm actually working on a
solo project where I'm using music to connect to my
Iranian heritage, so it's indie pop kind of songwriting with
Iranian instrumentation.
Speaker 9 (21:49):
When I started listening to Valas Alps, I had no
idea that Parisa was Persian. But as I talked to her,
I realized that we had this shared experience. Both of
our families had actually fled Iran because of the nineteen
seventy nine revolution.
Speaker 10 (22:06):
And its stories around the revolution and my family and
life as a migrant. When I think about the music videos,
I always think groups of people wearing something particular. So
the fact that you just said that maybe is linked
somehow you read it my mind.
Speaker 5 (22:25):
I'll bring the Versati roads. You read the music.
Speaker 9 (22:37):
I felt so linked to Parasite in the last year,
even before I knew about our shared heritage and our
love of fake Versati robes, I had thought that we
had this shared experience of heartbreak because one of their songs,
You and I, it really felt like it was written
about my breakup.
Speaker 10 (22:57):
It's funny because we have never written, and almost intentionally,
we've never tried to write a traditional breakup or love song.
But we have this rule between us, which is, if
we write a song and it can be interpreted as
a breakup song, then we've won. Because love and heartbreak
(23:19):
is so inherently human that if a song can invoke
even a little bit of that feeling, then it kind
of connects us all, which is a little bit sad
and strange, but beautiful too.
Speaker 9 (23:31):
I guess that's Parasa basically ruining my internal narrative of
her work. But as we talked more, it became clear that,
whether on purpose or not, this album was about heartbreak,
just not in the way that I was experiencing it.
Speaker 10 (23:47):
We wrote this whole album at a time where we
were really struggling in our friendship, and we'd been friends
for years, but we've been fighting a lot, specifically when
we started to write the album, because it had been
an aque of many years of not listening to each other,
not shining light on each other's strengths in the creative process,
(24:08):
not being true friends at different points, not forgiving each other,
not letting go, and it kind of all built up
into this point while we were working on the album
where we kind of decided either to quit the band
or do mediation.
Speaker 9 (24:26):
That friendship was between Parisa and the other half of
valas Alps, David. I'm sorry they chose to do mediation.
They went through weeks of it, wading through their problems
and trying to rebuild their relationship.
Speaker 10 (24:39):
We built completely new processes, We learnt a lot about
each other and continued on with writing the album with
that newfound clarity. We ended up being able to finish
the song You and I and realized that You and I,
plus half of the other songs we were working on,
had somehow been a reflection of our tumultuous relationship.
Speaker 9 (25:02):
The problem with me it's you.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
And.
Speaker 9 (25:10):
During the worst moments of my breakup, those lyrics really
spoke to me and they helped me to process my reality,
and now it made sense why. But it also made
me curious about how artists, how musicians like Dallas Alps,
they use their music to process their emotions.
Speaker 10 (25:32):
When you're creative, you're vulnerable and you're putting your heart
out on the table. At least for us to be
truly creative means to do that in some way, and
you're showing each other half ideas, new ideas, and when
the relationship wasn't strong, those ideas would be shut down.
There'd be a lot of disappointment. And then when we
(25:54):
worked on our process, the opposite happened, where we were
able to realize how much much good came from creativity
and creating together.
Speaker 9 (26:05):
I love hearing about two people who've been able to
rebuild and repair broken friendship and turn things around.
Speaker 10 (26:16):
There's a song called turn It Around, and it's about
forgiveness and about that moment where you realize you need
to do better in a relationship, doesn't matter what the
relationship is, friendship, parent, child relationship, love like a love relationship,
and you're kind of looking for that person and hoping
you're able to turn things around. And it's about forgiveness
(26:38):
and seeking forgiveness, and we realized after mediation that a
lot of that had actually been about us. Obviously, no
relationship is ever going to be perfect, but I think
what changed for us was that now we have tools
to deal with the challenges we face, whereas before we
were just kind of going through the challenges at.
Speaker 9 (26:59):
War with each other. To break Parison and David were
able to forgive each other to heal together, and through
that process creates some incredible music which I then listened
to when I was going through my breakup. So of
(27:20):
course I just had to ask Parisa about what tools
she thought I could try and use to forgive my ex.
Speaker 10 (27:27):
Oh. Man, I think there's elements of seeing the other
person in a completely new way that's really hard, and
I feel like that almost literal shift in the mind,
and it takes constant reminding of who that person could
(27:51):
be in a positive way so that you can let go.
Because I've realized, even with David, the hardest parts were
showing him love in my brain when I needed to,
even though it was really hard, so that I could
let go of something he'd done or that I'd done.
And I can imagine almost the opposite with the heart breakup.
Speaker 9 (28:13):
It's really frustrating. But honestly, I don't know if I
can take Paris's advice. I don't know if I can
let go of my breakup. I don't think I can
find it within me to forgive. I thought it was
because a broken romantic relationship is really different from a
broken friendship. But actually, as we started talking about how
(28:35):
she was exploring her Iranian heritage through her music, something
else clicked.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
We do have a shared.
Speaker 9 (28:43):
Experience of heartbreak. It's just for a place and not
for a person.
Speaker 10 (28:49):
I actually didn't really think about my Iranian heritage at
all growing up until I got to my late twenties
and I had this sudden hit in my heart. I
don't know where it came from where. I just felt
like there was something missing, something I needed to connect to.
And I realized I'd never asked my family about their
stories of leaving Iran, and I'd never asked specific stories
around emotional things like heartbreak during the revolution or what
(29:14):
it felt like to lose a sibling at the hands
of the government. I'd never known those stories.
Speaker 5 (29:22):
Until she said those words.
Speaker 9 (29:25):
I'd never thought of my family's experience of leaving Iran
as heartbreak, but it is, and it's framed how I've
approached all forms of heartbreak. It's made me believe that
I shouldn't forgive what's happened in Iran or what's happened
in my breakup, and then I definitely shouldn't forget. But
(29:47):
here was Pariser, who had a completely different relationship with forgiveness,
whose family had a similar experience to mine of leaving Iran.
I love the way that Pariser has used her music
to process her heartbreak, both about David but also about Iran.
Speaker 10 (30:06):
And the songs are about snippets of these stories me
trying to kind of convey those emotions. So it's been
like the whole in my heart that I was looking
to feel. Honestly, it sounds so cheesy, but it started
to feel. And the longing that I have to know
where I come from has slowly started to kind of ease,
(30:29):
and I feel like a tiny bit more connected. And
it's been such a beautiful process and emotional process.
Speaker 9 (30:41):
I think I'm finally ready to give in too, forgiveness,
because I want so deeply for the whole in my
heart to fill, So I'm ready to take Paris's advice,
but first I think I need to start with me.
She said that I have to make a literal shift
in my mind and that it takes constant reminding. So
(31:07):
I just want to say to the future version of
myself that listens back to this, I hope that you're happy.
Speaker 5 (31:15):
And that you got that Vasati robe.
Speaker 9 (31:19):
I also hope that you've learned to forgive yourself, that
you haven't cut yourself off from your capacity to love
because you're afraid. And I hope that you remember they're
getting through this. It honestly means you can get through
absolutely anything, because that's the one thing I don't want
to forget.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
Firstly, I love the reference to the Vasati robes. But
one of the things that struck me listening to that, Kate,
it's what a beautiful artistic sense you have of I
would almost say symmetry between the two episodes we've heard
so far, because in the previous episode where we got
to hear your first piece of work, we got to
(32:03):
hear all these voice notes about your breakup, so you
all almost were listening to past you, and now here
you are leaving messages for future you. There's some big,
deliberate artistic swings, my friend. When you were making this,
did you have that planned out from the beginning? How
did it start to take shape this episode?
Speaker 4 (32:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 9 (32:24):
So I think I got my three themes and they
just slotted in so nicely with each other, and so yeah,
I did have that that journey in mind, and it
felt really special because for me, it's really it's about
not only me trying to find forgiveness and find a
(32:44):
way to go through that process, but it's also about
creativity and it's also about art, and there's something so
special about creating a podcast that is a creative process
and then exploring some of the ideas that you're thinking
about through that storytelling.
Speaker 5 (33:01):
So that felt very special for me.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
I think sometimes for podcasters, particularly new podcasters, music can
be a bit of an afterthought. You know, you tell
the story, you make the thing, and then you're like, oh,
I got to shove some music on it. Different case
for this one, even if that was your approach, right,
because you've got this bank of music to work with,
how did you go or about making those decisions?
Speaker 9 (33:24):
Basically, in the interview, I asked her if she would
feel comfortable with us using some of ouris Alps's music
in the episode because for me, it's so deeply emotional
and it's so deeply connected to how I felt at
these particular moments, and so I wanted to create that
for the audience too.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Is there anything you change listening back to it now.
Speaker 9 (33:46):
I think I'm always a bit nervous talking about Iran,
To be completely frank, I mean there's two parts to that.
I think one is like, I'm biracial, so I'm half
Australian and I'm half Irni, and so anytime I talk
about that experience of being Persian, there is a small
part of me that has like a little bit of
imposter syndrome about like whether I should be taking up
(34:06):
space talking about this experience that isn't mine but is mine.
So there's that element. But also talking about this story
does impact how safe I would feel going back to Iran.
The political situation in Iran is very uncertain and can
be quite dangerous if you speak up against the government.
(34:27):
And so even now, when I was listening back, I
was like, oh, gosh, what impact does this have for
me in my future?
Speaker 10 (34:34):
That's a lot to carry.
Speaker 9 (34:36):
Yeah, it is. But I think also like if you
don't talk about it. That's part of the problem.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Thank you, Kate, Thanks for having Michama.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
So who told the best forgive and Forget story. I'm
going to share my decision with the winner in just
a moment. This is fine and tell, and the theme
this week was forgive and forget. Mark's episode was a
(35:10):
whole lot of fun, especially for someone who absolutely grew
up living for Australian idol and was personally devastated when
Cosuma had to leave. I think it was entertaining, and
it was nostalgic, and we had a really strong tie
to the theme. Mark's episode would have benefited from spending
some more time at the start setting up the stakes.
(35:31):
I think if you weren't an idle nerd back in
the early noughties, you might have been wondering why it
was such a big deal that Cosuma left, and I
think he could have bridged that gap by telling us
why he was so personally invested in her and spending
a little bit more time audio time on helping us
get invested too. Moving to Kate's episode, Kate's storytelling strength
(35:54):
really shines through in all of her episodes. I loved
the theming that she seems to be setting up for us,
maybe because in this episode she left a message to
a future version of herself, and last episode, if you remember,
we heard from past Kate with all of the audio notes,
speaking to her friend AJ about her breakup. Kate's abilities
(36:15):
as a really natural storyteller are really evident in the
way that she helped all of us as the listeners
care about Parissa, toss If and Vallas Alps even if
we didn't know who they were.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
That takes real skill.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
It's easy to get invested and focused on a band
that you love or a singer that you love, but
if you've never heard of someone, it's hard to care
about them quickly, and Kate's helped us to achieve that.
If I had any suggestions for Kate for future is
to just make sure she focuses on a single theme.
This week, it was very much a story of a breakup,
(36:47):
but then when we got more of Kate's family life
and her family history in Iran, I then kind of
wanted to hear that story and it was hard to
come back again to Parissa and the breakup. So she
just needs to be a bit distinct which story she tells,
But honestly, I would have listened to both of them.
(37:07):
After hearing both stories, I have decided who the winner
is this week. Kate, Congratulations, you are this week's winner.
Speaker 5 (37:17):
That's so exciting, Dalla.
Speaker 9 (37:19):
I feel like I should have brought us the Sadi
bathrobes to wear in celebration.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
I mean, I might take the win back conditional win.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
So it turns out that making a decision every week, folks,
is not getting any easier. But you're allowed to argue
with me. You're allowed to make the case for who
you think I should have chosen. Get in touch and
follow along at find and Tell dot com dot AU.
Don't miss our next episode. Just press follow in your
podcast app as we draw closer to.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
Crowning our Find and Tell Champion.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Find and Tell is a coproduction between iHeart Australia and
the black Cast podcast network. Black Cast empowers First Nations
people and people of color to reclaim their narratives, strengthen
cultural identity, and contribute to a more inclusive Australia by
showcasing exciting emerging talent from Australian communities.
My name is Mark Mariana. I'm a storyteller on Find
and Tell. I'm Filipino and live on Diric Land. I'd
like to recognize the traditional custodians of this continent whose
land was stolen nearly two hundred and fifty years ago,
in particular the Cama, Eagle and Uruanderie people whose land
this podcast was recorded on, and we extend our respect
(00:21):
to all Aboriginal and Torrest Street Islander peoples. The rich
storytelling history of the world's oldest living culture is what
we pay homage to when we tell our stories on
Find and Tell.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Hello, I'm Jamila Risby.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Welcome back to Find and Tell, the search for the
next generation of Australian storytellers. Each week, our storytellers go
head to head to see who finds and tells the
best story, and every win brings them a step closer
to being crowned the Find and Tell Champion and winning
the grand prize. We've now met all four of our storytellers, Mark, Naar,
(01:00):
Kate and Ben and the competition.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Is starting to heat up.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Honestly, I have been blown away by the quality of
the stories that each of them has created so far.
It's genuinely incredible when you remember that they have never made.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Anything like this before.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Okay, so far Mark and Ben have each taken home
a win that we.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Are far from finished.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Today we have a new theme, Forgive and Forget. First
up to tackle the challenge is Mark.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
When we last.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Heard from Mark, he told a really beautiful story about
spirituality and sexuality.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Let's see what story he can find for us this time. Mark,
welcome back to find and tell.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I am so excited to be back.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Okay, we've done this. We've done this once. It's out
in the world. So you've had that feeling of it's
about to happen, and it's happened.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
You're ready to go again.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
I'm so ready.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
I think you're ready too. This week's theme is forgive
and Forget, so we're not we're not pulling any punches
forgiven forget. What was your first reaction when you saw
that written on the page?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Oh my goodness, I fell to the ground. I was sobbing.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
No.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I you know, it's such an interesting topic, interesting theme,
and I think something that a lot of maybe new
adults are experiencing, or just anyone in any stage of
their life, you know, having to let go is such
a hard thing. Having to feel your emotions and go
through them is so difficult. So I so many thoughts
(02:28):
came into my mind when I got the theme. But
I'm excited with how it turned out. I'm so happy
with how it turned out.
Speaker 5 (02:33):
All right.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Well, without further ado, let's hear your second story on
the theme of forgive and forget, Let's go.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
There are many moments in Australian television history that had
the whole country unbaited breath. We had Kathy Freeman's golden
run in the two thousand Olympics to the Tillies penalty
shootout against France. But back in two thousand and three,
all eyes were on Australian idol.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Has My the Decision?
Speaker 1 (03:01):
The live Grand final amassed over three million viewers.
Speaker 5 (03:06):
The winner of Australie Not in Gossip s.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
The debut season alone, tore through our country's music industry,
setting a new standard and method for the attainment of
musical fame. If you were too young to remember, idle
Mania had Australia in a chokehold. This wasn't your run
of the mill reality TV show. This was why two
K stardom. It was glitz and glamour and fame and fortune,
(03:39):
and the contestants became instant superstars. The series itself had
produced some of Australia's biggest names in the music industry
Jessica Mowboy, Riki Lee, Matt Korby Milsey. But one contestant
has lived in the back of my mind since I
was just eight years old at the time. But I
still remember that one feetful night in two thousand and three,
(04:03):
hundreds and thousands of Ossie families gathered around their boxy
TVs and tenas tuned to Channel ten, hearts pounding brows, sweating,
palms clenched.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
However, Cosma rescently that you would like to say, I'd like.
Speaker 6 (04:21):
To thank all my supporters and the Australian public for
believing in me. I've been extremely humbled by the support
that you have shown me.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Where were you the night Costumer Divito withdrew from Australian Idol.
Speaker 6 (04:36):
Unfortunately, I have a temporary condition that's affecting my voice.
It's forced me to make the decision to leave the competition.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
It was the worst case scenario. Costumer Divito, the singer
adored by everyone, was pulling out of the competition just
as she was becoming an unstoppable force. Australian Idol is
once in a lifetime opportunity, and all these years later,
I still think about it and I think about Costomer.
(05:07):
Where is she now?
Speaker 4 (05:09):
It's so hot, isn't it? Oh my god today? Are
you okay? You look like you're sweating as well.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Yes, my gorgeous, beautiful sheen because I've got to shut
off the fan for the recording purposes. That's showbiz, baby,
I know, I know, yes, that is the Costomer de Vito,
the legend herself. It was her husky, deep voice that
caught everyone's attention. During the very first season of Australian Idol.
(05:36):
She was so popular that she was brought back as
a wild card after an early knockout.
Speaker 7 (05:41):
When I came back as a world card and then
I got into top twelve, it was like go go, Go,
go go.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
However, a hefty run of Belty ballads soon caught up
to the twenty six year old.
Speaker 6 (05:52):
This has been the most difficult decision of my life.
But I'm not sure that I'm going to be able
to give one and that my voice is gonna hold up.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Costomer still remembers the point in the competition where her
voice started to slip away.
Speaker 7 (06:08):
And then every week I was noticing, what's happening with
my voice is getting really deep. It was there, but
it was just deeper and deeper and deeper. It was
vocal nodules.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
This is every singer's nightmare. Vocal nodules are benign folds
and lesions that can sometimes grow on your vocal chords.
It affects both your singing and speaking voice, drastically changing
your natural vocal tone. Amidst her rise up the ranks,
Cossomo was sent to a doctor who soon confirmed various
small nodual growths caused by vocal overuse.
Speaker 7 (06:42):
You either rest it or you keep going and they
get hard and then you have to have surgery.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
And as soon as you said surgery, I'm like Julie Andrews.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Julie Andrews, the songbird slash actress from the famed Sound
of Music, had surgery to remove vocal nodules in ninety nine.
Speaker 7 (07:01):
A routine procedure that I was told would not be
threatening to my vocal cords.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
The procedure scarred her vocal cords and she was never
able to sing the same again. So at this point,
Costumer was at a crossroads. She was given an ultimatum,
leave the competition and heal, or push on and risk
injuring herself permanently.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
No, we're not doing that. It was hard. It was hard.
I was crying when I was reading that speech.
Speaker 6 (07:29):
And again, a big, big kiss and hugs to everyone
who's supported me. You have humbled me and I'm forever
grateful for what you've done.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
For Costomer, running the risk of losing her voice forever
was not an option. In the end, she decided to
leave Australian Idol to enter a course of recovery that
would get her back on track, but off the winning one.
Costumer was a fan favorite and many thought she would win,
but then her world fell apart, and her hopes and
(08:05):
aspirations for her singing career soon followed.
Speaker 7 (08:09):
Because in that moment, you just feel like your whole
world is crumbling. That's what it felt like in that moment.
That was extremely difficult. The day after I withdrew, I
remember I had to hide out in the hotel because
all the media, it was such a hype after I left,
and for me, I felt like I had lost an opportunity.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
The year after Idole was the hardest for Customer. The
songshis that hit an all time low, and with her
future up in the air, she struggled with her sense
of self.
Speaker 7 (08:42):
It took a good year, I think before my head
was on straight. But even then, a lot of reflection,
a lot of mourning. I wasn't able to watch any
singing competition for years, and then that whole year I
had this paranoia that they were going to come back.
So every time I sang as a psychological component that
(09:04):
comes with it also because you feel, oh my god, it's.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Going to come back again. I'm going to lose my
voice again.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
The series finale had taken center stage and for a
period of time, Costomer was nowhere to be found. While
everyone wondered where she had gone, the show moved on
without her, and she used this moment of quiet to
find herself and her voice again.
Speaker 7 (09:29):
As soon as I got off the show, it was like, Okay,
I'm in India, Now what's my next step? And that's
when I went, you know what, I had to be
part of the Idol tour. I had to start speech therapy,
so I was doing that twice a week. I was
going to a vocal coach who was familiar with singers
who had nodules, and it was just rehabilitation. It was
(09:51):
just hardcore rehabilitation, no singing, just working on getting it
back to where it was.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Costomer threw herself into recovery. While she couldn't win this series,
she hit back stronger during the Top twelve tour. The
two thousand and four concert was Costumer's return to the
Australian Idol stage and in their opening group number, she
was back as a crowd favorite. So after all this,
(10:28):
where is the diva? Now? What about Costomer? Having recently
dropped a duet with Nolsey, the indie artist has hot
plans for her music ventures.
Speaker 7 (10:37):
It's a project that I've been working on since last year.
I can't say too much at the moment, but I'll
be touring towards the end of the year and it's
very exciting and you need to come. I promise, I
promise you'll love it. I promise, but I'm very excited
about it.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
While there was a hard decision leaving Idol, there was
no other choice. She took the route that in short,
she would be able to keep singing for the rest
of her life. This was simply a hurdle, one that
she triumphantly conquered with a lot of time and care.
Speaker 7 (11:10):
I love my power ballads. The depressing power ballads are
my thing. I think that's the Italian in me. When
you sing an Italian and you sing an Italian ballad,
it's very different to when you do it in English,
just just so much more passionate, and you know the
words and the lyrics.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
It's just different. I absolutely love it, love it.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
When I interviewed Costomer, I was starstruck. We share a
love for singing, and I too dreamed of being a
pop star. I mean, who didn't. I couldn't imagine being
on the rise she was on and then having to
let that go. When I spoke to Costomer, I was
taught an important life lesson and it had nothing to
do with music.
Speaker 7 (11:50):
The thing I guess that got me through it was
just the It was the old Wise title of you
know everything happens for a reason, because you know, there's
a reason why you weren't meant to go all the way,
There's a reason why this has happened.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
I wouldn't have met my husband, I wouldn't met my daughter.
Speaker 7 (12:07):
You know, being an independent artist has been incredible.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
I've always done what I've wanted to do.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Do you have a message for any fans who, even
twenty years on, are still heartbroken over your Australian ad
or verdicts? I myself included, I'm one of them.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
You're gonna make me very emotional just by saying that.
I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank
you from.
Speaker 7 (12:30):
The bottom of my heart, even twenty one years on,
that you're all still standing by me. And every time
I post something, you're on social media, You're there.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
You're supporting me.
Speaker 7 (12:41):
I'm here because of you, and I used to say
that back then. Also, I'm here because you've voted for me,
because you fiercely voted for me and stood by me,
and you're still here today.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
I love to sing, but the support that I get
from fans is just beautiful and it's truly truly a gift.
It's truly a gift.
Speaker 7 (13:01):
And I thank you from the bottom of my heart
still being here.
Speaker 4 (13:04):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
I think sometimes we put too much importance on winning.
What I used to see as a heartbreaking withdrawal, I
now see as the importance of letting go of the
life and a path that's simply not meant for us. Sure,
in life will miss some chances, but there will always
be others.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
The human spirit's amazing.
Speaker 7 (13:31):
Only when you go through the lows can you really
learn about yourself and learn about life and how to
get through it.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
Otherwise you don't learn anything.
Speaker 7 (13:40):
You have to go through the lows, and it makes
you a different person on the other side of it,
and you wouldn't change that.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
When you get to the other side, it's great. It's
just through the storm that's really really hard. I'm forty seven.
I feel like I've let a lot of things go.
Speaker 7 (13:56):
When you reach forty it's just like, yeah, kay, I
feel like I'm still learning about myself.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
But I am stronger.
Speaker 7 (14:04):
I am stronger, and I do know a lot more
than what I did when I was twenty six years old.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
When the time comes and the opportunities you were meant
for are come your way, there's only one thing we
can do.
Speaker 8 (14:15):
We've got to rise, and that through the sky. We've
got to rise over.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Mountain.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
Hey, Mark, that was super fun and wild in its
degree of nostalgia. Like I'm still a bit like I
don't think I have thought about Cosmo Divido in a
very long time, but I was equally Australian idol obsessed
(14:55):
that first season.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Yes, it was iconic, it was it was it. It
changed the nation, it really did. It swept us away.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
I remember borrowing my mum's phone so I could text
vote for twenty cents or whatever it costs me on
a smith. But don't let me get get stuck there.
I hadn't thought about her in a long time. Why
this story? Why do you still think about her?
Speaker 1 (15:20):
So it's really interesting. This episode was meant to go
in a really different direction. I had some other people
in mind, but at its core, I really did want
to talk about this proximity to fame, this proximity to fortune,
to this like what many people consider to be the
jackpot of success, being so close and then not reaching it,
(15:45):
not hitting it, not winning, being second best. You know,
being seen is not good enough. And I think, I
think we really do just place so much weight into
success and into what you know, conventional success looks like,
when really it should be a personal thing. It really
should be an individual thing. You know, we will win
and thrive in our own ways, and it won't always
(16:08):
be winning season one of the streaming modol as we
came to find.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Were nervous about speaking to a cosma.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Yeah, I was a little starstruck. I was very starstark
speaking to her. But then as we eased into it,
it was like, no, we're not. This isn't an interview.
This is two adults having a conversation about the realities
of life and that things won't always go the way
that we want it to go, and how that is
completely fine and completely okay.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
You created a great redemption arc, you know, a sense
of hope came through with Costomer's story. Did you have
that episode arc planned out from the beginning? Did you
know where you were going or what did it look
like as it sort of shifted and remolded itself.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
I wanted it to be that she had won in
her own way, that she had forgiven this incredibly massive,
big deal that had happened to her, to forget it
in her own way, not completely disregard it, but to
just let go in her own way and then thrive.
I wanted that to be the third aspect of that
forgive and forget theme, because it just it doesn't require
(17:13):
a trophy it doesn't. Winning doesn't require a certain thing.
It could just be that you are content with your
life and loving who you are where you are now,
and understanding that there's more of a life to live
and that there's more to learn. And so yeah, listening
to customer vocalize that and speak that to existence was
just was so nice to hear.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
Mark.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Congratulations, another great episode, and I'm going to do an
extra shout out for the ending there.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Coming out on.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Rise Up, Gosh, you made me feel very, very old.
But then I was like bopping along. You know, I've
got to listen to this for the first time in
a studio. But I think if I'd been listening to this,
you know, with my EarPods running down the street, I
still would have broken out into a really big, fat
grin hearing that song again.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
So thank you forgive me that.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Of course you're not gone.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
That's two stories down for Mark, well done. Kate is
back with her second in Just a Moment. This is
Find and Tell. I'm Jamilla Risby, and this week's theme
is Forgive and Forget. Our next storyteller opened her heart
(18:28):
and revealed to the world the pain behind a really
difficult breakup a stunning story, but she had stiff competition
and didn't quite get the win. So let's hear what
she's made for us this time.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Hey, Kate, welcome back to Find and Tell.
Speaker 5 (18:45):
Thanks so much for having me Jamilla.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
We're about to hear your second story, but before we
get to that, I want to get to know a
little bit more about you beyond the beautiful vulnerability you
shared with us last week about your breakup.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
What do you do for a job?
Speaker 9 (18:59):
So I'm actually a visual artist, and so it's been
really cool for me because I think like how you
approach creating art with your hands and how you create art.
Speaker 5 (19:10):
For your ears is really different.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
How for those of us be on the obvious.
Speaker 9 (19:17):
Well, I think for me, a lot of it is
about feeling, and when I'm painting, I really follow colors
and motifs and things.
Speaker 5 (19:28):
That feel like home, that feel special.
Speaker 9 (19:31):
I think for a long time, when I was creating
like physical art, I thought that I had to paint
in a very particular way, And more recently I've realized
that No, I just love sparkly, tacky things.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
So that's what I'm going to focus on.
Speaker 9 (19:47):
And so I guess with the creative process, Like for
this podcast, it's super different in terms of how you
piece together a story and how you make things make sense.
But I'm also bringing that essence, like I'm just following
the feelings that I want to explore and little sparkly
things that bring me joy.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
To This week's theme is Forgive and Forget. What are
we about to hear?
Speaker 9 (20:12):
Yeah, to be honest, this was a really really difficult
podcast episode to create, I think because I have a
really difficult relationship with forgiveness. Yeah, so I saw Forgive
and Forget and I was like, really, do we have
to forgive and forget? But I guess also when they
gave us their themes, the intention was that we would
(20:33):
create three separate stories, and so I decided to mess
with the format a little bit. And so this one's
also about that.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Well, that is your right, my friend, and you get
to throw some glitter at it if you want to.
I can't wait to hear your second contribution to find
and Tell on Forgive and Forget.
Speaker 10 (20:56):
I feel like Persian, you can cover this up. Persian
taciness is coming in in a big way.
Speaker 5 (21:04):
Oh that's my aesthetic entirely.
Speaker 10 (21:06):
It's really just cool now.
Speaker 9 (21:10):
That's parasitosif she's one half of the band Vallas Alps,
and I'd originally wanted to talk to her because her
music had a big impact on me during a really
difficult breakup last year, But somehow, maybe because we're both Persian,
within minutes, I was instead pitching her own music video.
So there's my suggestion for a future video clip where
(21:32):
you just get thirty fake Versachi bathrobes and try and
incorporate them.
Speaker 10 (21:36):
Yes, that is fantastic. Well, I'm actually working on a
solo project where I'm using music to connect to my
Iranian heritage, so it's indie pop kind of songwriting with
Iranian instrumentation.
Speaker 9 (21:49):
When I started listening to Valas Alps, I had no
idea that Parisa was Persian. But as I talked to her,
I realized that we had this shared experience. Both of
our families had actually fled Iran because of the nineteen
seventy nine revolution.
Speaker 10 (22:06):
And its stories around the revolution and my family and
life as a migrant. When I think about the music videos,
I always think groups of people wearing something particular. So
the fact that you just said that maybe is linked
somehow you read it my mind.
Speaker 5 (22:25):
I'll bring the Versati roads. You read the music.
Speaker 9 (22:37):
I felt so linked to Parasite in the last year,
even before I knew about our shared heritage and our
love of fake Versati robes, I had thought that we
had this shared experience of heartbreak because one of their songs,
You and I, it really felt like it was written
about my breakup.
Speaker 10 (22:57):
It's funny because we have never written, and almost intentionally,
we've never tried to write a traditional breakup or love song.
But we have this rule between us, which is, if
we write a song and it can be interpreted as
a breakup song, then we've won. Because love and heartbreak
(23:19):
is so inherently human that if a song can invoke
even a little bit of that feeling, then it kind
of connects us all, which is a little bit sad
and strange, but beautiful too.
Speaker 9 (23:31):
I guess that's Parasa basically ruining my internal narrative of
her work. But as we talked more, it became clear that,
whether on purpose or not, this album was about heartbreak,
just not in the way that I was experiencing it.
Speaker 10 (23:47):
We wrote this whole album at a time where we
were really struggling in our friendship, and we'd been friends
for years, but we've been fighting a lot, specifically when
we started to write the album, because it had been
an aque of many years of not listening to each other,
not shining light on each other's strengths in the creative process,
(24:08):
not being true friends at different points, not forgiving each other,
not letting go, and it kind of all built up
into this point while we were working on the album
where we kind of decided either to quit the band
or do mediation.
Speaker 9 (24:26):
That friendship was between Parisa and the other half of
valas Alps, David. I'm sorry they chose to do mediation.
They went through weeks of it, wading through their problems
and trying to rebuild their relationship.
Speaker 10 (24:39):
We built completely new processes, We learnt a lot about
each other and continued on with writing the album with
that newfound clarity. We ended up being able to finish
the song You and I and realized that You and I,
plus half of the other songs we were working on,
had somehow been a reflection of our tumultuous relationship.
Speaker 9 (25:02):
The problem with me it's you.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
And.
Speaker 9 (25:10):
During the worst moments of my breakup, those lyrics really
spoke to me and they helped me to process my reality,
and now it made sense why. But it also made
me curious about how artists, how musicians like Dallas Alps,
they use their music to process their emotions.
Speaker 10 (25:32):
When you're creative, you're vulnerable and you're putting your heart
out on the table. At least for us to be
truly creative means to do that in some way, and
you're showing each other half ideas, new ideas, and when
the relationship wasn't strong, those ideas would be shut down.
There'd be a lot of disappointment. And then when we
(25:54):
worked on our process, the opposite happened, where we were
able to realize how much much good came from creativity
and creating together.
Speaker 9 (26:05):
I love hearing about two people who've been able to
rebuild and repair broken friendship and turn things around.
Speaker 10 (26:16):
There's a song called turn It Around, and it's about
forgiveness and about that moment where you realize you need
to do better in a relationship, doesn't matter what the
relationship is, friendship, parent, child relationship, love like a love relationship,
and you're kind of looking for that person and hoping
you're able to turn things around. And it's about forgiveness
(26:38):
and seeking forgiveness, and we realized after mediation that a
lot of that had actually been about us. Obviously, no
relationship is ever going to be perfect, but I think
what changed for us was that now we have tools
to deal with the challenges we face, whereas before we
were just kind of going through the challenges at.
Speaker 9 (26:59):
War with each other. To break Parison and David were
able to forgive each other to heal together, and through
that process creates some incredible music which I then listened
to when I was going through my breakup. So of
(27:20):
course I just had to ask Parisa about what tools
she thought I could try and use to forgive my ex.
Speaker 10 (27:27):
Oh. Man, I think there's elements of seeing the other
person in a completely new way that's really hard, and
I feel like that almost literal shift in the mind,
and it takes constant reminding of who that person could
(27:51):
be in a positive way so that you can let go.
Because I've realized, even with David, the hardest parts were
showing him love in my brain when I needed to,
even though it was really hard, so that I could
let go of something he'd done or that I'd done.
And I can imagine almost the opposite with the heart breakup.
Speaker 9 (28:13):
It's really frustrating. But honestly, I don't know if I
can take Paris's advice. I don't know if I can
let go of my breakup. I don't think I can
find it within me to forgive. I thought it was
because a broken romantic relationship is really different from a
broken friendship. But actually, as we started talking about how
(28:35):
she was exploring her Iranian heritage through her music, something
else clicked.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
We do have a shared.
Speaker 9 (28:43):
Experience of heartbreak. It's just for a place and not
for a person.
Speaker 10 (28:49):
I actually didn't really think about my Iranian heritage at
all growing up until I got to my late twenties
and I had this sudden hit in my heart. I
don't know where it came from where. I just felt
like there was something missing, something I needed to connect to.
And I realized I'd never asked my family about their
stories of leaving Iran, and I'd never asked specific stories
around emotional things like heartbreak during the revolution or what
(29:14):
it felt like to lose a sibling at the hands
of the government. I'd never known those stories.
Speaker 5 (29:22):
Until she said those words.
Speaker 9 (29:25):
I'd never thought of my family's experience of leaving Iran
as heartbreak, but it is, and it's framed how I've
approached all forms of heartbreak. It's made me believe that
I shouldn't forgive what's happened in Iran or what's happened
in my breakup, and then I definitely shouldn't forget. But
(29:47):
here was Pariser, who had a completely different relationship with forgiveness,
whose family had a similar experience to mine of leaving Iran.
I love the way that Pariser has used her music
to process her heartbreak, both about David but also about Iran.
Speaker 10 (30:06):
And the songs are about snippets of these stories me
trying to kind of convey those emotions. So it's been
like the whole in my heart that I was looking
to feel. Honestly, it sounds so cheesy, but it started
to feel. And the longing that I have to know
where I come from has slowly started to kind of ease,
(30:29):
and I feel like a tiny bit more connected. And
it's been such a beautiful process and emotional process.
Speaker 9 (30:41):
I think I'm finally ready to give in too, forgiveness,
because I want so deeply for the whole in my
heart to fill, So I'm ready to take Paris's advice,
but first I think I need to start with me.
She said that I have to make a literal shift
in my mind and that it takes constant reminding. So
(31:07):
I just want to say to the future version of
myself that listens back to this, I hope that you're happy.
Speaker 5 (31:15):
And that you got that Vasati robe.
Speaker 9 (31:19):
I also hope that you've learned to forgive yourself, that
you haven't cut yourself off from your capacity to love
because you're afraid. And I hope that you remember they're
getting through this. It honestly means you can get through
absolutely anything, because that's the one thing I don't want
to forget.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
Firstly, I love the reference to the Vasati robes. But
one of the things that struck me listening to that, Kate,
it's what a beautiful artistic sense you have of I
would almost say symmetry between the two episodes we've heard
so far, because in the previous episode where we got
to hear your first piece of work, we got to
(32:03):
hear all these voice notes about your breakup, so you
all almost were listening to past you, and now here
you are leaving messages for future you. There's some big,
deliberate artistic swings, my friend. When you were making this,
did you have that planned out from the beginning? How
did it start to take shape this episode?
Speaker 4 (32:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 9 (32:24):
So I think I got my three themes and they
just slotted in so nicely with each other, and so yeah,
I did have that that journey in mind, and it
felt really special because for me, it's really it's about
not only me trying to find forgiveness and find a
(32:44):
way to go through that process, but it's also about
creativity and it's also about art, and there's something so
special about creating a podcast that is a creative process
and then exploring some of the ideas that you're thinking
about through that storytelling.
Speaker 5 (33:01):
So that felt very special for me.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
I think sometimes for podcasters, particularly new podcasters, music can
be a bit of an afterthought. You know, you tell
the story, you make the thing, and then you're like, oh,
I got to shove some music on it. Different case
for this one, even if that was your approach, right,
because you've got this bank of music to work with,
how did you go or about making those decisions?
Speaker 9 (33:24):
Basically, in the interview, I asked her if she would
feel comfortable with us using some of ouris Alps's music
in the episode because for me, it's so deeply emotional
and it's so deeply connected to how I felt at
these particular moments, and so I wanted to create that
for the audience too.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Is there anything you change listening back to it now.
Speaker 9 (33:46):
I think I'm always a bit nervous talking about Iran,
To be completely frank, I mean there's two parts to that.
I think one is like, I'm biracial, so I'm half
Australian and I'm half Irni, and so anytime I talk
about that experience of being Persian, there is a small
part of me that has like a little bit of
imposter syndrome about like whether I should be taking up
(34:06):
space talking about this experience that isn't mine but is mine.
So there's that element. But also talking about this story
does impact how safe I would feel going back to Iran.
The political situation in Iran is very uncertain and can
be quite dangerous if you speak up against the government.
(34:27):
And so even now, when I was listening back, I
was like, oh, gosh, what impact does this have for
me in my future?
Speaker 10 (34:34):
That's a lot to carry.
Speaker 9 (34:36):
Yeah, it is. But I think also like if you
don't talk about it. That's part of the problem.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Thank you, Kate, Thanks for having Michama.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
So who told the best forgive and Forget story. I'm
going to share my decision with the winner in just
a moment. This is fine and tell, and the theme
this week was forgive and forget. Mark's episode was a
(35:10):
whole lot of fun, especially for someone who absolutely grew
up living for Australian idol and was personally devastated when
Cosuma had to leave. I think it was entertaining, and
it was nostalgic, and we had a really strong tie
to the theme. Mark's episode would have benefited from spending
some more time at the start setting up the stakes.
(35:31):
I think if you weren't an idle nerd back in
the early noughties, you might have been wondering why it
was such a big deal that Cosuma left, and I
think he could have bridged that gap by telling us
why he was so personally invested in her and spending
a little bit more time audio time on helping us
get invested too. Moving to Kate's episode, Kate's storytelling strength
(35:54):
really shines through in all of her episodes. I loved
the theming that she seems to be setting up for us,
maybe because in this episode she left a message to
a future version of herself, and last episode, if you remember,
we heard from past Kate with all of the audio notes,
speaking to her friend AJ about her breakup. Kate's abilities
(36:15):
as a really natural storyteller are really evident in the
way that she helped all of us as the listeners
care about Parissa, toss If and Vallas Alps even if
we didn't know who they were.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
That takes real skill.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
It's easy to get invested and focused on a band
that you love or a singer that you love, but
if you've never heard of someone, it's hard to care
about them quickly, and Kate's helped us to achieve that.
If I had any suggestions for Kate for future is
to just make sure she focuses on a single theme.
This week, it was very much a story of a breakup,
(36:47):
but then when we got more of Kate's family life
and her family history in Iran, I then kind of
wanted to hear that story and it was hard to
come back again to Parissa and the breakup. So she
just needs to be a bit distinct which story she tells,
But honestly, I would have listened to both of them.
(37:07):
After hearing both stories, I have decided who the winner
is this week. Kate, Congratulations, you are this week's winner.
Speaker 5 (37:17):
That's so exciting, Dalla.
Speaker 9 (37:19):
I feel like I should have brought us the Sadi
bathrobes to wear in celebration.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
I mean, I might take the win back conditional win.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
So it turns out that making a decision every week, folks,
is not getting any easier. But you're allowed to argue
with me. You're allowed to make the case for who
you think I should have chosen. Get in touch and
follow along at find and Tell dot com dot AU.
Don't miss our next episode. Just press follow in your
podcast app as we draw closer to.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
Crowning our Find and Tell Champion.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Find and Tell is a coproduction between iHeart Australia and
the black Cast podcast network. Black Cast empowers First Nations
people and people of color to reclaim their narratives, strengthen
cultural identity, and contribute to a more inclusive Australia by
showcasing exciting emerging talent from Australian communities.
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