December 5, 2023 • 15 mins
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We didn't want to leave you hanging so we popped together a bonus episode from our Melbourne live show at Always Live!Â
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dad, Flex and Frooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Flex and Frooms, This is the Flex and Froomes catch
up podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
In the heart of the city where the lights shine bright.
Flex and Frooms leaving dreams every night two years on
the airwaves, A Journey's So Sweet and the word redactive
Toyota cars on repeat. Flex and Frooms, The queens of
the Air, spreading joy, love and read it to those everywhere?
Flex and Froomes. What a time would to ride Big
Boss Energy? You know it's no lie. Deep in the
(00:28):
forest where dark shadows roam, two gremlins are dancing finding
new homes. The price has gone up, the curtains come down.
We sure will be sad that you're not around. Flex
and Frooms, The queens of the Air, spreading joy, love
and read it to those everywhere, Flex and Frooms. What
a time would to ride? Big Boss Energy?
Speaker 4 (00:47):
Flex and Frooms on KIDA, our last live show ever
technically at Always Live. What is happening over there in
the corner? It pains us to know that the attention
has been misdirected to someone yonder.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Yeah, what are they getting away? Freebies? Oh, that'll do it? Freebies?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Okay, great to know you've just decided to do freebies.
Just as we start talking, I see what.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Your allegiances lie. It's clearer than ever, guys.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
It's so excited to be here in none other than
sunny Melbourne. I always say it ron whenever I come
to Melbourne, the sun comes out, and do with that
what you will.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
I can't handle Melbourne in the weather. As we all know,
I've recently moved. I've assimilated quite quickly, thank you very much.
And one thing that's getting me down is I made
sure to purchase six jackets so I would be well
equipped with the weather, and I've had to use them
a total of maybe five times. It's not good enough,
Sunny Melbourne. Something's off about it.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
It's not right, is it.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Well, guys, I'm very excited to be here. Thanks everyone
who's come out. I'm looking at all of you individually,
probably in the eye. I hope that doesn't make you
feel uncomfortable. I just want to start by doing a
very specific shout out to Jacob Stein in the audience.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Jacob Steen.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
So, my one favorite listener is a person called Jacob Stein.
I'm pretty sure that he listens to all the episodes
and he always comments on the videos and he always
replies to my story. So everybody, Jacob Sen, I'm giving
him around.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Applause, Please join me, please join me. That's him out
there if we're doing shout outs.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
My favorite person in the audience is Tim and Nut,
not part of the crowd of freebies. One thing about
Tim and and I. We met on a plane. Yes,
very few can say that they've had any positive plane interactions,
any intentional plane interactions. But our flight was actually delayed,
so we sat on the plane for about an hour
and a half. Then we disembarked, sat together for another
(02:35):
hour and a half and then got on separate planes.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
It was romantic and poignant. We are well.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
I have a good emotion emotion feeling right now, and
that is it. I'm going to give everyone my Melbourne
tour guide. I want to give my vibe of what
I would do if you just came to Melbourne. Tell me, guys,
if you agree with this, I'm going to give you
two alternate paths. One is for basic pitches and the
other one is for art home. I wrote this on
(03:01):
a piece of paper. This is my Melbourne weekend guide. Okay,
get a plane. I choose Virgin personally. If that is possible,
then you get in an uber. Get an uber from
the Melbourne airport because guys, the other day I got
a taxi. Tell me why it cost one hundred and
fifty dollars. Okay, they're ramping up the prices. If you
are a basic bitch, it means south side. I recommend
you go and stay in Ellwood and when you're in Elwood,
(03:22):
go to Comby for a seventeen dollar juice. Then go
down to Saint.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Kilda go on the boardwalk.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I see just going on the in Lunar Park on
the Scenic Grailway at the least one hundred years old.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
To confirm this is my itinerary for basic redacted? Got it?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Okay, Then you're gonna want to take a bike and
ride to South Melbourne Market. At the market, you will
just trop down to Hector's Deli and get yourself a sandwich,
the roast beef sandwich. Then you're gonna go to the
markets and pick up some fresh oysters as well as
a wine from Coventry Street. Go back to your place
in Ellwood and watch the sun set.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Any questions not yet? Thank you? Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Then you're gonna have pre isn't Saint Kilda on Ackland Street?
Anywhere you want to go, there's a dog bar on
Ackland Street. Just google it a dog bar. Yeah, like
you can bring your dogs. Oh, Saint Kilda was very
cool once once upon a time. Okay, then you're gonna
want to go to one six 's one. So that
is my guide for basic reductance.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Can we get a guide for people who live here? Ooh,
just off the top?
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Okay, if you were spending a lot of time here,
what would be on your checklist?
Speaker 2 (04:24):
I would suggest this to anyone who lives here. This
is what I do every time I come back. This
is for the art host. Okay, go to Collingwood. Stay
in Collingwood, preferably on Smith Street or Fitzroy. If you
must alimentary for coffee, Alimentary for coffee as well as
a salad, then you got to Hector's Deli in Fitzroy.
Anyone here, yeah, look, so someone might work at Alimentary
(04:47):
out there. Then you're gonna go to Hope Street for
some sunset drinks.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
I believe, as we do know someone did try and
fight me at Hope Street. So I'm like funny about
that recommendation now, But food is fantastic. Usually the clientele
is amazing, But be careful because there's something about etiquette
when lining up for a bar that's also a walkway
that gets girl is riled up.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I have a few drinks there then, though I wouldn't
have dinner there. I'm gonna have dinner at the kebab
shop on Smith Street. You'll know the one that's on
the corner. Then we're going to Yayas for a dance
or circuit.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
One might say this is a very generic list for me?
Is it feeling very generic? Isn't what's sorry?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Where eighteen year olds going and there's something to go?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Because okay, I believe that there's something that's sorely missing,
especially in Sydney, is a place to dance with good music.
Ya Yas and circuit. The music is popping off. We've
got Carli Minogue, We've got all.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
The classic hits.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
I just feel like you've prefaced this by saying it's
an art hole list, and so I think one of
the fundamental metrics of creating a list for art hose
is that it be anything but generic. It would be
I wouldn't consider it's not the word I'd use it'd
be niche, maybe alternative, if you'd be revealing something fresh.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
See but no.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
I think the beauty of the art home in twenty
twenty three twenty twenty four financial year is that we're
going back to basics. We're going back to generic. We're
not trying to anything start anything new. But where we
where we know is good.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
You're right to your point. I have been on a
night out with you. We've done the exact same thing.
We went. We went to Hope Street, we went to
the kebab shop. You said, let's go to Alimentary. We
actually did anything. You are consistent.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
It is what it is. Listen, that's my Melbourne Guide. Please,
if you end up doing the Melbourne Guide, message me.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
It's I assure you. It's been done by everybody who
lives here. I assure you. Okay, okay, Mickey, or what
time is it?
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Hello?
Speaker 4 (06:45):
Love line Love Line, it's where we professional opinion have
as who are very mindful that it's more interesting to
I don't know, talk about everyone else's issues but our own.
We request love dilemmas. This could be familiar love, romance, love,
anything in between. And they are always good. They are
always painful to listen to in the best way possible,
(07:06):
and they show us one thing and one thing only
to be humanist, to what.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
To suffer, to suffer, babes, I'm obsessed with you. Anyway,
listen to this.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
I listen to DM Dust and said, hey, friends, this
might be a bit long, but it's on my mind
and I'm desperate.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
To see what you both think.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
If we could get a microphone outside, maybe one of
our faves could give some advice.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
I don't know, Yeah, I don't know. I would love
that anyway.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
This person also says, sorry, if this is way too
sappy and romantic, prepare to get the feelies. I met
my boyfriend last winter in a very very cute way.
We were at a festival, camping next to each other,
and he helped me where my tent pole broke. He
had duct tape, and the rest is history. We do
love helpful men. It's just been smooth sailing the entire time.
I got out of an emotionally abusive relationship about a
(07:50):
year before I met my boyfriend, so I was very
nervous to start any kind of a relationship. He is
so entirely different from anyone I've ever been with. We're
both pretty introverted, and it's just wonderful to easily communicate
when we both need time alone without worry. We can
spend quiet time together in peace. And I've had so
many anxieties about truly everything when I started this relationship,
(08:10):
and he has not triggered any of them, not one.
I trust him. I sleep easy at night. We have
a single worry about who I'm giving my trust and
my heart to.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
This sounds very good.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I think, I say this sounds made up, which Oh honestly,
you're seeing as I was.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Feeling some tea.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
I must admit some of them that I bring to
the table are definitely off the dome.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Stop. I've never lied on it. Really, Yeah, I didn't
know we could.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Okay, I think this is the first time I've been
in a relationship with someone who just genuinely wants to
spend time with me and enjoys it. Then what is
the issue. We've been together about ten months and I'm
really in love with him.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
He is home.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
Okay, now it's sounding codependent, but I just cannot work
up the lady balls.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Okay, I knew, I knew.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
This was gonna get I knew it okay to tell
him I love him? Oh hod on, So let's just recap.
You've been together for ten months. You met at a festival.
It was you know, him helping you. The rest is history.
You feel so safe with him, your anxieties aren't triggered.
It's been ten months. You can't say you love him,
(09:13):
mostly because things have been so smooth that you're afraid
to mess them up. This person also says that her
boyfriend is a fairly reserved man and it takes some
time and coaxing to get him to share his feelings,
and that she's the same way and this isn't a problem.
He hasn't said he loves me either. I do feel
like he shows me it all the time, and all
my friends who know us have told me to just
(09:34):
say it, and that he feels the same. So Miss
Flex and miss Frooms actually let me let me double check,
it says Miss Flex and Miss Frooms, having duraida, How
do I get the courage to tell this wonderful man
how I feel?
Speaker 1 (09:51):
I'm scared? Welp oh, I love.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
This to pieces. Listen, I think we have Sophie out
there with a mic.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Actually, does anyone happen if you off the dome, but a
strong opinion off the dome.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Strong opinion, how do we goman?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Oh, yes, from a man, sir, what's your name?
Speaker 5 (10:08):
Josh?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Josh, what's your opinion?
Speaker 5 (10:10):
If he's more reserved than you, just wait till he
opens up first, because if he's incredibly reserved coming out
and saying I love you can be very full on
or be okay. If he doesn't reciprocate those feelings, then
tell him straight up. Doesn't matter, Josh.
Speaker 4 (10:30):
That is fantastic advice. And before I count to that,
I mean, it's on a debate. I just want to respond,
is there anyone else who has great advice? Because it'll
be hard.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
To follow Jacob Jacob in the freemy corner, I'd probably
say to her that she could try leading by example.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I mean, like, what does it really change? It doesn't
really change the reality of their relationship. Huge.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
This would be the first time in a live setting
that we can go to hear everybody who listens to
us so diligently.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
I'm open, Yeah, what was your name? My name's Car.
Speaker 6 (11:00):
What I'm sensing is it doesn't sound like she wants
to say it first, and I think that's problematic because
it's leaning into, you.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Know, male power.
Speaker 6 (11:10):
And I think that she should say at first, if
that's what she feels, and she shouldn't worry about what
he has to say. And if she feels like she's
being shown it that it can be enough. But don't
act based on what you want him to do. Do
what you want to do.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
That's real. Yeah, clap for that, Clap for that, Clap
for everyone, because that was phenomenal. I really enjoyed that.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
You know, that last censor definitely cuts through my He's
just not that into your face. So I did go
through about three months ago that was quiet.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
And phase for anyone who might not know what happened.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I went through a situation where someone's giving me mixed
messages for an extended period of time, and I decided
that I would try and play some mind games and
they kind of didn't work. So I listened to the
audio book, I watched the movie.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
But you tried to play mind games based on what
you had learned, and he's not that into you.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Yeah, and then they didn't work.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Well, they kind of worked, but he wasn't the right
person anyway. So I have actually been in this situation
where I've been at an impast with someone waiting for
them to say I love you.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
I'm pretty sure the relationship.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I would have been like seven months in, so I
feel you like this is tenure.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
It's long, say gardening leave.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
After that situation, I wish that I was grown enough
to have said it first, but I didn't.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
I was.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
I think I was nineteen at the time that this happened,
and I was very much in the thing of like
he should do it. So I think I waited, but
there was a bit of coaxing. There's a bit of
alcohol involved, and there was a bit of a I
think we were sitting down, like in the hallway of
his house, on the floor, and you know, when you
just look at someone, I'm like, you've got something to say,
Say it?
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Now, say it?
Speaker 5 (12:41):
Now?
Speaker 6 (12:42):
Say it?
Speaker 1 (12:42):
What do you think?
Speaker 4 (12:44):
I feel like all of us have a lot of
work to do with unlearning codependency. This is the thing
that you do where you orient your behavior based on
how you want someone else to respond, Which means that
in an environment where you're claiming that everything is perfect
but you can't do this one thing, it's telling you
that things aren't actually perfect. And if the trajectory of
(13:07):
your relationship is always going to be hinged on, well
he's got to do it first, then you're gonna end
up in a lot of environments where the relationship doesn't
progress like you want it to because you're constantly waiting,
and you're waiting and you're not being communicative, which means
that you are actually kind of waiting in vain. For example,
if I go to this cafe across the way there
knowing that I want to order something, but I just
(13:28):
stand there and wait until somebody acknowledges me, I might
not get acknowledged. The service is actually quite good, so
you will get acknowledged very quickly. However, imagine if it
wasn't how long would you wait for you, like, I
just have to go say something?
Speaker 1 (13:43):
How long do you wait?
Speaker 4 (13:44):
And in this instance, I really feel like the question
is there No, there's no right thing to do, It's
just a matter of what Josh was saying earlier. Are
you prepared to not get an answer that you want
and then act accordingly? You know, if you say I
love you and then the person doesn't respond, will you
stay in a dynamic where you don't feel like you're growing.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
At the same pace. Will you bounce? Mmmm, that's real.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
I guess you're you're kind of waiting on the It's
the d day, So do you really want to pull
the true?
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Yeah, it's almost.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
We talked about this concept of relationships having expiry dates.
When you delay the inevitable, you make it harder for yourself. Yeah, true,
get out now, Everyone live a little, because one day
the ground might open up as well as whole and
you're gonna be here being like I should have said it.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I should have said it.
Speaker 4 (14:31):
So let's wrap up and say, in the great words
of Kara, don't be the person who waits to act
based on what somebody else is doing, because you will
wait your whole life and unfortunately, nobody's coming to save
you dead. That Marvel propaganda, Okay, there is no superhero.
No one's coming to save you. Tell everyone you love them,
starting today, I.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Love you, I love you.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms Daily podcast.
For more, tune into cater on DAB or stream it
on iHeartRadio.
Dad, Flex and Frooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Flex and Frooms, This is the Flex and Froomes catch
up podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
In the heart of the city where the lights shine bright.
Flex and Frooms leaving dreams every night two years on
the airwaves, A Journey's So Sweet and the word redactive
Toyota cars on repeat. Flex and Frooms, The queens of
the Air, spreading joy, love and read it to those everywhere?
Flex and Froomes. What a time would to ride Big
Boss Energy? You know it's no lie. Deep in the
(00:28):
forest where dark shadows roam, two gremlins are dancing finding
new homes. The price has gone up, the curtains come down.
We sure will be sad that you're not around. Flex
and Frooms, The queens of the Air, spreading joy, love
and read it to those everywhere, Flex and Frooms. What
a time would to ride? Big Boss Energy?
Speaker 4 (00:47):
Flex and Frooms on KIDA, our last live show ever
technically at Always Live. What is happening over there in
the corner? It pains us to know that the attention
has been misdirected to someone yonder.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Yeah, what are they getting away? Freebies? Oh, that'll do it? Freebies?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Okay, great to know you've just decided to do freebies.
Just as we start talking, I see what.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Your allegiances lie. It's clearer than ever, guys.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
It's so excited to be here in none other than
sunny Melbourne. I always say it ron whenever I come
to Melbourne, the sun comes out, and do with that
what you will.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
I can't handle Melbourne in the weather. As we all know,
I've recently moved. I've assimilated quite quickly, thank you very much.
And one thing that's getting me down is I made
sure to purchase six jackets so I would be well
equipped with the weather, and I've had to use them
a total of maybe five times. It's not good enough,
Sunny Melbourne. Something's off about it.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
It's not right, is it.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Well, guys, I'm very excited to be here. Thanks everyone
who's come out. I'm looking at all of you individually,
probably in the eye. I hope that doesn't make you
feel uncomfortable. I just want to start by doing a
very specific shout out to Jacob Stein in the audience.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Jacob Steen.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
So, my one favorite listener is a person called Jacob Stein.
I'm pretty sure that he listens to all the episodes
and he always comments on the videos and he always
replies to my story. So everybody, Jacob Sen, I'm giving
him around.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Applause, Please join me, please join me. That's him out
there if we're doing shout outs.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
My favorite person in the audience is Tim and Nut,
not part of the crowd of freebies. One thing about
Tim and and I. We met on a plane. Yes,
very few can say that they've had any positive plane interactions,
any intentional plane interactions. But our flight was actually delayed,
so we sat on the plane for about an hour
and a half. Then we disembarked, sat together for another
(02:35):
hour and a half and then got on separate planes.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
It was romantic and poignant. We are well.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
I have a good emotion emotion feeling right now, and
that is it. I'm going to give everyone my Melbourne
tour guide. I want to give my vibe of what
I would do if you just came to Melbourne. Tell me, guys,
if you agree with this, I'm going to give you
two alternate paths. One is for basic pitches and the
other one is for art home. I wrote this on
(03:01):
a piece of paper. This is my Melbourne weekend guide. Okay,
get a plane. I choose Virgin personally. If that is possible,
then you get in an uber. Get an uber from
the Melbourne airport because guys, the other day I got
a taxi. Tell me why it cost one hundred and
fifty dollars. Okay, they're ramping up the prices. If you
are a basic bitch, it means south side. I recommend
you go and stay in Ellwood and when you're in Elwood,
(03:22):
go to Comby for a seventeen dollar juice. Then go
down to Saint.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Kilda go on the boardwalk.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I see just going on the in Lunar Park on
the Scenic Grailway at the least one hundred years old.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
To confirm this is my itinerary for basic redacted? Got it?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Okay, Then you're gonna want to take a bike and
ride to South Melbourne Market. At the market, you will
just trop down to Hector's Deli and get yourself a sandwich,
the roast beef sandwich. Then you're gonna go to the
markets and pick up some fresh oysters as well as
a wine from Coventry Street. Go back to your place
in Ellwood and watch the sun set.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Any questions not yet? Thank you? Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Then you're gonna have pre isn't Saint Kilda on Ackland Street?
Anywhere you want to go, there's a dog bar on
Ackland Street. Just google it a dog bar. Yeah, like
you can bring your dogs. Oh, Saint Kilda was very
cool once once upon a time. Okay, then you're gonna
want to go to one six 's one. So that
is my guide for basic reductance.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Can we get a guide for people who live here? Ooh,
just off the top?
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Okay, if you were spending a lot of time here,
what would be on your checklist?
Speaker 2 (04:24):
I would suggest this to anyone who lives here. This
is what I do every time I come back. This
is for the art host. Okay, go to Collingwood. Stay
in Collingwood, preferably on Smith Street or Fitzroy. If you
must alimentary for coffee, Alimentary for coffee as well as
a salad, then you got to Hector's Deli in Fitzroy.
Anyone here, yeah, look, so someone might work at Alimentary
(04:47):
out there. Then you're gonna go to Hope Street for
some sunset drinks.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
I believe, as we do know someone did try and
fight me at Hope Street. So I'm like funny about
that recommendation now, But food is fantastic. Usually the clientele
is amazing, But be careful because there's something about etiquette
when lining up for a bar that's also a walkway
that gets girl is riled up.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I have a few drinks there then, though I wouldn't
have dinner there. I'm gonna have dinner at the kebab
shop on Smith Street. You'll know the one that's on
the corner. Then we're going to Yayas for a dance
or circuit.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
One might say this is a very generic list for me?
Is it feeling very generic? Isn't what's sorry?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Where eighteen year olds going and there's something to go?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Because okay, I believe that there's something that's sorely missing,
especially in Sydney, is a place to dance with good music.
Ya Yas and circuit. The music is popping off. We've
got Carli Minogue, We've got all.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
The classic hits.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
I just feel like you've prefaced this by saying it's
an art hole list, and so I think one of
the fundamental metrics of creating a list for art hose
is that it be anything but generic. It would be
I wouldn't consider it's not the word I'd use it'd
be niche, maybe alternative, if you'd be revealing something fresh.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
See but no.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
I think the beauty of the art home in twenty
twenty three twenty twenty four financial year is that we're
going back to basics. We're going back to generic. We're
not trying to anything start anything new. But where we
where we know is good.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
You're right to your point. I have been on a
night out with you. We've done the exact same thing.
We went. We went to Hope Street, we went to
the kebab shop. You said, let's go to Alimentary. We
actually did anything. You are consistent.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
It is what it is. Listen, that's my Melbourne Guide. Please,
if you end up doing the Melbourne Guide, message me.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
It's I assure you. It's been done by everybody who
lives here. I assure you. Okay, okay, Mickey, or what
time is it?
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Hello?
Speaker 4 (06:45):
Love line Love Line, it's where we professional opinion have
as who are very mindful that it's more interesting to
I don't know, talk about everyone else's issues but our own.
We request love dilemmas. This could be familiar love, romance, love,
anything in between. And they are always good. They are
always painful to listen to in the best way possible,
(07:06):
and they show us one thing and one thing only
to be humanist, to what.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
To suffer, to suffer, babes, I'm obsessed with you. Anyway,
listen to this.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
I listen to DM Dust and said, hey, friends, this
might be a bit long, but it's on my mind
and I'm desperate.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
To see what you both think.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
If we could get a microphone outside, maybe one of
our faves could give some advice.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
I don't know, Yeah, I don't know. I would love
that anyway.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
This person also says, sorry, if this is way too
sappy and romantic, prepare to get the feelies. I met
my boyfriend last winter in a very very cute way.
We were at a festival, camping next to each other,
and he helped me where my tent pole broke. He
had duct tape, and the rest is history. We do
love helpful men. It's just been smooth sailing the entire time.
I got out of an emotionally abusive relationship about a
(07:50):
year before I met my boyfriend, so I was very
nervous to start any kind of a relationship. He is
so entirely different from anyone I've ever been with. We're
both pretty introverted, and it's just wonderful to easily communicate
when we both need time alone without worry. We can
spend quiet time together in peace. And I've had so
many anxieties about truly everything when I started this relationship,
(08:10):
and he has not triggered any of them, not one.
I trust him. I sleep easy at night. We have
a single worry about who I'm giving my trust and
my heart to.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
This sounds very good.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I think, I say this sounds made up, which Oh honestly,
you're seeing as I was.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Feeling some tea.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
I must admit some of them that I bring to
the table are definitely off the dome.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Stop. I've never lied on it. Really, Yeah, I didn't
know we could.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Okay, I think this is the first time I've been
in a relationship with someone who just genuinely wants to
spend time with me and enjoys it. Then what is
the issue. We've been together about ten months and I'm
really in love with him.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
He is home.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
Okay, now it's sounding codependent, but I just cannot work
up the lady balls.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Okay, I knew, I knew.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
This was gonna get I knew it okay to tell
him I love him? Oh hod on, So let's just recap.
You've been together for ten months. You met at a festival.
It was you know, him helping you. The rest is history.
You feel so safe with him, your anxieties aren't triggered.
It's been ten months. You can't say you love him,
(09:13):
mostly because things have been so smooth that you're afraid
to mess them up. This person also says that her
boyfriend is a fairly reserved man and it takes some
time and coaxing to get him to share his feelings,
and that she's the same way and this isn't a problem.
He hasn't said he loves me either. I do feel
like he shows me it all the time, and all
my friends who know us have told me to just
(09:34):
say it, and that he feels the same. So Miss
Flex and miss Frooms actually let me let me double check,
it says Miss Flex and Miss Frooms, having duraida, How
do I get the courage to tell this wonderful man
how I feel?
Speaker 1 (09:51):
I'm scared? Welp oh, I love.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
This to pieces. Listen, I think we have Sophie out
there with a mic.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Actually, does anyone happen if you off the dome, but a
strong opinion off the dome.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Strong opinion, how do we goman?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Oh, yes, from a man, sir, what's your name?
Speaker 5 (10:08):
Josh?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Josh, what's your opinion?
Speaker 5 (10:10):
If he's more reserved than you, just wait till he
opens up first, because if he's incredibly reserved coming out
and saying I love you can be very full on
or be okay. If he doesn't reciprocate those feelings, then
tell him straight up. Doesn't matter, Josh.
Speaker 4 (10:30):
That is fantastic advice. And before I count to that,
I mean, it's on a debate. I just want to respond,
is there anyone else who has great advice? Because it'll
be hard.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
To follow Jacob Jacob in the freemy corner, I'd probably
say to her that she could try leading by example.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I mean, like, what does it really change? It doesn't
really change the reality of their relationship. Huge.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
This would be the first time in a live setting
that we can go to hear everybody who listens to
us so diligently.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
I'm open, Yeah, what was your name? My name's Car.
Speaker 6 (11:00):
What I'm sensing is it doesn't sound like she wants
to say it first, and I think that's problematic because
it's leaning into, you.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Know, male power.
Speaker 6 (11:10):
And I think that she should say at first, if
that's what she feels, and she shouldn't worry about what
he has to say. And if she feels like she's
being shown it that it can be enough. But don't
act based on what you want him to do. Do
what you want to do.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
That's real. Yeah, clap for that, Clap for that, Clap
for everyone, because that was phenomenal. I really enjoyed that.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
You know, that last censor definitely cuts through my He's
just not that into your face. So I did go
through about three months ago that was quiet.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
And phase for anyone who might not know what happened.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I went through a situation where someone's giving me mixed
messages for an extended period of time, and I decided
that I would try and play some mind games and
they kind of didn't work. So I listened to the
audio book, I watched the movie.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
But you tried to play mind games based on what
you had learned, and he's not that into you.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Yeah, and then they didn't work.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Well, they kind of worked, but he wasn't the right
person anyway. So I have actually been in this situation
where I've been at an impast with someone waiting for
them to say I love you.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
I'm pretty sure the relationship.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I would have been like seven months in, so I
feel you like this is tenure.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
It's long, say gardening leave.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
After that situation, I wish that I was grown enough
to have said it first, but I didn't.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
I was.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
I think I was nineteen at the time that this happened,
and I was very much in the thing of like
he should do it. So I think I waited, but
there was a bit of coaxing. There's a bit of
alcohol involved, and there was a bit of a I
think we were sitting down, like in the hallway of
his house, on the floor, and you know, when you
just look at someone, I'm like, you've got something to say,
Say it?
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Now, say it?
Speaker 5 (12:41):
Now?
Speaker 6 (12:42):
Say it?
Speaker 1 (12:42):
What do you think?
Speaker 4 (12:44):
I feel like all of us have a lot of
work to do with unlearning codependency. This is the thing
that you do where you orient your behavior based on
how you want someone else to respond, Which means that
in an environment where you're claiming that everything is perfect
but you can't do this one thing, it's telling you
that things aren't actually perfect. And if the trajectory of
(13:07):
your relationship is always going to be hinged on, well
he's got to do it first, then you're gonna end
up in a lot of environments where the relationship doesn't
progress like you want it to because you're constantly waiting,
and you're waiting and you're not being communicative, which means
that you are actually kind of waiting in vain. For example,
if I go to this cafe across the way there
knowing that I want to order something, but I just
(13:28):
stand there and wait until somebody acknowledges me, I might
not get acknowledged. The service is actually quite good, so
you will get acknowledged very quickly. However, imagine if it
wasn't how long would you wait for you, like, I
just have to go say something?
Speaker 1 (13:43):
How long do you wait?
Speaker 4 (13:44):
And in this instance, I really feel like the question
is there No, there's no right thing to do, It's
just a matter of what Josh was saying earlier. Are
you prepared to not get an answer that you want
and then act accordingly? You know, if you say I
love you and then the person doesn't respond, will you
stay in a dynamic where you don't feel like you're growing.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
At the same pace. Will you bounce? Mmmm, that's real.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
I guess you're you're kind of waiting on the It's
the d day, So do you really want to pull
the true?
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Yeah, it's almost.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
We talked about this concept of relationships having expiry dates.
When you delay the inevitable, you make it harder for yourself. Yeah, true,
get out now, Everyone live a little, because one day
the ground might open up as well as whole and
you're gonna be here being like I should have said it.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I should have said it.
Speaker 4 (14:31):
So let's wrap up and say, in the great words
of Kara, don't be the person who waits to act
based on what somebody else is doing, because you will
wait your whole life and unfortunately, nobody's coming to save
you dead. That Marvel propaganda, Okay, there is no superhero.
No one's coming to save you. Tell everyone you love them,
starting today, I.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Love you, I love you.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms Daily podcast.
For more, tune into cater on DAB or stream it
on iHeartRadio.
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