Quick Win: The relationship reset that doesn’t feel like a chore, with Sahil Bloom

When life gets hectic, relationships are often the first thing to slip. But what if a simple habit could keep you connected - even during your busiest seasons? 

In this Quick Win episode, I’m joined by New York Times bestselling author Sahil Bloom to unpack what it really means to be socially wealthy. Sahil shares the tiny practice he uses to maintain strong relationships, even when life gets overwhelming - and why it’s been a game-changer for his friendships and marriage. 

Sahil and I discuss: 

• Why relationships are the strongest predictor of a happy life 

• The mistake most people make when it comes to social wealth 

• Sahil’s rule for staying in touch: when you think something nice, say it 

• How he uses iPhone memories to spark tiny moments of connection 

• The “life dinner” ritual that keeps his marriage strong 

Key Quote 
“When you think something nice about someone, let them know right then.” 

Listen to the full interview with Sahil here.

Connect with Sahil Bloom on Instagram, X (Twitter), and LinkedIn and his website. Check out his latest book The Five Types of Wealth. 

My latest book The Health Habit is out now. You can order a copy here: 
https://www.amantha.com/the-health-habit/ 

Connect with me on the socials: 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amanthaimber 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amanthai 

If you are looking for more tips to improve the way you work and live, I write a weekly newsletter where I share practical and simple to apply tips to improve your life. You can sign up for that at https://amantha-imber.ck.page/subscribe 

Visit https://www.amantha.com/podcast for full show notes from all episodes. 

Get in touch at [e-mail] 

Credits: 
Host: Amantha Imber 
Sound Engineer: The Podcast Butler 

See omnystudio.com/listener for p

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
There's plenty of quotes about how money doesn't make you
rich and it's the people in your life who matter.
But in our modern world, that is easier said than done.
So how do we actually form strong social connections, especially
when we're feeling busy and worn out? Sarhill Bloom is

(00:21):
a New York Times bestselling author and investor whose viral
threads on business, finance and personal development have reached over
one billion people online. Sahil realized a long time ago
that focusing on wealth wouldn't guarantee him happiness, and in fact,
he's identified social wealth as one of the necessary five

(00:42):
types of wealth in our lives. And in this quick win,
Sahil reveals what it actually means to be socially wealthy,
his number one rule for strengthening social connections, and the
dinner strategy he uses that could revitalize your relationship with
your partner. Welcome to How I Work, a show about habits, rituals,

(01:07):
and strategies for optimizing your dat I'm your host, doctor
Amantha Imber. I would love to talk about social wealth
and perhaps maybe we need to define it in case
that is not obvious. What it means to be socially wealthy.
Let's start there.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah, social wealth is just about your relationships. It's about
a recognition of relationships as an asset that compounds over
the long run if you invest in those things. And
that ties to the most common mistake that I see,
which is thinking that relationships are just a static entity

(01:47):
and not something that compounds, and not something that will
pay the greatest returns and dividends in life. The reality,
in the science and in our own anecdotal experience, is
that relationships are the single greatest predictor of a happy,
healthy life. The strength of your relationships determines those outcomes.
And yet they tend to be the first thing that

(02:08):
fall by the wayside when we get busy. You know,
you get busy in life, and you stop texting the friends,
you stop calling your mom, you don't get that old
group of buddies together for the annual trip. All of
those things start to fall when in reality, those are
the things that are going to contribute to the great
life that you are trying to build. And so recognizing
that and realizing that really anything above zero compounds, a

(02:32):
tiny action done for a friend or a family member
is something that is going to compound and stack over
the long run, showing up for these people during their
time of needs, showing up when it's not easy. These
people will be there for you when your life is
in a tough spot.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
How do you I guess action the principles around social
wealth when I imagine and particularly like with the insight
that you should around taken on a lot, a lot
of different things that perhaps you are now going to
draw and I just know you know what it's like
being incredibly busy, and it is really easy for relationships

(03:09):
to be the first thing that goes like, what are
some practices that you have found have served you, particularly
in those really busy and hectic times.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
The number one practice I have is a rule, which
is when you think something nice about someone, let them
know right then. I am very good about that. I'm
not great about replying to text messages or emails really
promptly because I'm overloaded most of the time, but I'm
very good about sending someone a message when I think
something nice about them, And that has a powerful effect

(03:44):
of keeping you in touch with people, of creating this
level of connection with people over long, long periods of time.
I have friends and people that I don't see very
often at all anymore, but we still feel really connected.
Your one little hack is I have an iPhone. I
don't know if if anyone else does, but on the
iPhone there's this like for you, sort of like photo

(04:05):
memories feature, and once a week or so I'll go
to that photo memories thing and I'll send the picture
to people that are in it, so it'll prompt, you know,
some sort of memory from your life with friends. And
if you just send it to them and say, you know, hey, great,
like this was great times, fun time, whatever, it sparks
a tiny little interaction with the person. You don't need

(04:27):
to spend thirty minutes catching up with them, but it
sparks a little interaction that just lets them know that
you were thinking about them, and that goes a long
way over long periods of time.

Speaker 1 (04:36):
When you like when you say, you know, when you
think something nice about someone, you will communicate that, Like
what's your go to? Like, you know, if we were friends,
would I just like get an email out of the
blue from you? Would I get a voice memory? Like
what does that look like? In practice?

Speaker 2 (04:47):
Generally a text out of a blue yeah I'm not
a great email or sometimes voice note if I'm driving
or something like that, but generally speaking a text just
saying like hey, I was thinking about you. I hope
you're doing great, or you saw this thought of you,
hope you're thriving. Something tiny like that. Not trying to
force a catch up or a conversation, because oftentimes too

(05:10):
then you like put a burden on the other person
if they're busy, they feel bad. It can just be
super simple. I think it goes a long way.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
Tell me about the life dinner concept and how that works.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
Life dinner is an idea that I first came across
from an entrepreneur named Brad Feld, who sort of recognized
that when life starts to get chaotic and busy, there
are a lot of things that start to naturally slip
in a romantic partnership, importantly, things like bigger picture catch

(05:41):
ups about your vision for your relationship, for what your
goals are, for the things that you're striving towards. And
this life dinner is an idea of creating a monthly
date that is dedicated to those things. Its entire purpose
is to catch up and talk about those bigger picture opportunities, goals, dresses, visions, etc.

(06:02):
That the two of you have, both individually and for
your command for your relationship. My wife and I have
done this since our son was born, which is now
three years in May twenty twenty two, and it has
been an incredible ritual for keeping us connected when life
got more chaotic than ever. There's the pushback that people
like to have with this, which is like, you shouldn't

(06:22):
have to do that, you should be talking every day.
But once you have a kid and life starts to
get a little chaotic, they're not sleeping a lot. You
both have so many things going on that it can
be hard to find the time to talk about what
are our finances, what are the business things I'm excited about,
what are the things you're excited about, what are the
big picture goals we have for the next three years.

(06:45):
And creating a monthly date dedicated to that makes sure
that there is that touch point and does it in
a fun way that doesn't make it feel like a chore.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
I hope you enjoyed this quick way and with Saquil.
If you would like to listen to the full interview,
you can find a link to that in the show notes.
If you like today's show, make sure you git follow
on your podcast app to be alerted when new episodes drop.
How I Work was recorded on the traditional land of
the Warrangery people, part of the Klan Nation.