Quick Win: Why it’s ok to have career-focused personal identity

So many of us strive to find that ‘perfect job’, but once we get there, do we run the risk of having it become our sole focus, to the detriment of everything else in our lives?

I asked my very close friend Sabina Read to join me on a deep dive discussion into work and identity to try and get to the bottom of this. Sabina is a clinical psychologist, regular contributor on 3AW and co-host of the popular podcast Human Cogs.

Sabina and I discuss:

• Why having an occupation that aligns with our personal identity is a good thing
• If having a personally aligned career can lead to a lack of balance
• An easy way to identify if you are letting your vocation swallow your sense of self

Listen to the full interview with Sabina here.

Connect with Sabina via her website, Instagram, or check out her podcast Human Cogs.

 

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Credits:

Host: Amantha Imber

Sound Engineer: The Podcast Butler

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Does having a job that closely aligns with your personal
identity mean that your job has consumed your sense of self?
That without your job, you are nothing. So many of
us strive to find that perfect job, But once we
get there, do we run the risk of having it
become our sole focus to the detriment of everything else

(00:21):
in our lives. I ask my very close friend Sabina
Read to join me on deep dive discussion into work
and identity and try to get to the bottom of this.
Sabina is a clinical psychologist, a regular contributor on threeaw
and host of the popular podcast Human Cogs. We discuss
whether or not having a personally aligned career can lead

(00:45):
to a lack of balance, the benefits of having an
occupation that aligns with our self identity, and how do
identify if you are letting your vocation swallow your sense
of self. Welcome to How I Work, a show about habits, rituals,

(01:08):
and strategies for optimizing your day. I'm your host, doctor
Amantha Imber. On today's show, we go back to an
episode from the past and I pick out a quick
win that you can apply today. So I had expressed
to Sabina my concern that connecting my identity to my

(01:31):
career opened me up to disaster if something went wrong
with my job. Sabina had a surprising counter to that
fear and a reason for why we maybe don't have
to worry so much.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
I think it will follow me if I'm karaoaking or
flying on a plane. I'm still bringing this to the table.
And so the other question is, and what's wrong with that?
I wanted to play out the pros and the constant strengths,
and the shadow saw it in this. If you know
so many people, I've worked with people around that. I
worked as the ambassador at Seek for seven years, so

(02:09):
I did a lot. I had a lot of conversations
in a lot of forums with people around their career trajectories.
And so many people talk about wanting to find work
that's meaningful, that reflects their values, that's an extension of
who they are, that they feel motivated to get up
in the morning and do that they're not doing to
place someone else. These are all things that I feel

(02:29):
in my work. So I'm asking the universe and you
and myself, why do I need to dial that down?

Speaker 1 (02:36):
Okay? I think there are a couple of reasons. Why. Firstly,
does it lead to a lack of balance? Like can
it lead to workaholism? You know, I feel like in
twenty twenty four, I worked more hours than I would
care to admit, and I was very unbalanced, and I
was most of the time not happy about that, but
I felt like I had to do it.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
Okay, So where we get our energy from? If you're
doing that kind of work and your energy feels depleted,
and we did a prior app on burnout, so we
know that story. I don't know if I call that
identity alignment with your job. I called that workaholic, and.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
That's what call yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
So I think it also depends on how we feel,
how energized we feel doing their work that we do.
But if I'm being really honest, it also depends on
the people who love us most and how they feel
about the work that we.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
Do too, That's true. I just feel like there's a
huge funderability that comes with it. Like I look at
close friends of mine who have been through job loss
or retrenchment or you know, any number of those things,
and you know, I think most people in their lives
have been through something like that, and you know, the

(03:47):
ones that I've seen struggle the most are the ones
that most closely have their self identity aligned to their work.
You know, I think you know, we talked about it
in an earlier episode on Burnout just around you know,
one of my fears last year, you know, going to
worst case scenarios like what if inventium doesn't exist? Who
am I without inventingum? And like, yes, I could get

(04:09):
to the answers, but it wasn't easy.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
Why does it have to be?

Speaker 1 (04:15):
I like that you're challenging me. But yeah, I can
only think of shoulds, like it should be like this,
or it should be like that, or I should That's
my biggest swear word. You're like I got nothing, I
got nothing now I got nothing. It's like I should,
I should have more diversification in my identity.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
I think it's worth really exploring where that should come from,
and if it comes from fear based thinking, which we've
talked about before, because I think I'll be caught out.
You know, I tend to think with an abundant mindset.
I'm not tapping into some area of research in positive psychology,
it's just how I think. So my belief is that
if one door closes, another one will open. I genuinely

(04:54):
believe that, so I don't think as much through that
fear lens. So for now I feel very aligned to
psychological work. And if at some point I can do that,
I'll explore that then, but I won't live in the
wadiffs now around that issue.

Speaker 1 (05:11):
So are you saying then that there is no issue
having your work? And I'm just.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
I think the bit that's the greatest vulnerability. Your potential
pain point is losing sense of self, letting your vocation,
your job, your title, your role swallow you whole.

Speaker 1 (05:32):
How would you know if that's happening, Well, I.

Speaker 2 (05:34):
Think you would lose connection with other people, meaningful people
in your in your life, which is a cousin of
workoholism as well. M to understand what is the driver? Here?
Is the driver another hit of dopamine? Or is the driver?
To learn and grow to understand what drives us and

(05:56):
then to think about where else I can honor those I.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
Hope you enjoyed this quick win with Savena. If you'd
like to listen to the full interview, you can find
a link to that in the show notes. If you
like today's show. Make sure you git follow on your
podcast app to be alerted when new episodes drop. How
I Work was recorded on the traditional land of the
Warrengery people, part of the Kulan nation.