October 10, 2024 • 3 mins
Have you heard of intensive parenting?
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
New Jersey and Amanda Jamna I heard a very interesting
podcast yesterday from the New York Times and it was
about intensive parenting and the Surgeon General, the US Surgeon
General who will make announcements on things like COVID and
smoking and important things about your health, has come out
and spoken about intensive parenting and the toxic stress is
(00:22):
creating for parents. And they looked back at how we
got to where we are with this. We've moved beyond
helicopter parenting to now intensive parenting. And in the eighties,
there was a whole series of ads on American television
about kidnapping and it was disproportionate to the number of
children that actually were kidnapped, and it started to make
parents frighten. The ad campaign said where are your kids?
(00:44):
Know where your kids are at any given moment, and
then so you had to know where they were, you
had to be in their faces. And then all that
information came up about the mouldable brain of nought to
three year olds, etc. That you could your input and everything.
So those years suddenly became so important. And then financial
(01:04):
stuff has been on top of that, as well as
social media that you have to make you get one
crack at making your kids successful. And this has been
absolutely terrifying for parents. So there's suddenly your parenting has
become a contact sport, almost a competitive sport. I heard
this really interesting, oh And saying that everything has to
(01:25):
be a teachable moment. You can no longer put your
kid in front of the TV and you go and
have a shower. You can no longer veg out with
your kid in front of the TV. You watch the show.
You're encouraged to watch the show with your child and
talk about the content and make it a teachable moment.
Everything has to be a lesson. You have to be
involved in everything, and it's giving parents incredible burnout. This
(01:46):
statistic was really interesting for me is that a working
mother today spends as much time with her children as
a stay at home mother did in the seventies. Wow,
so you wonder how does that happen. How it happens
is that you give up your leisure time, you give
up your own social time. It used to be that
you'd have a game of tennis and the kids be
off running around somewhere else. Now your kids are involved
(02:07):
in you playing tennis. You'd socialize with your friends and
the kids had been in another room. Now everyone socializes together,
so the parents, the mums and the dads are losing
out on what makes them human, on what they need
to survive a busy life.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
It's true that you look at the pubs, the pub
scene when we were young in the eighties. You go
and see the radiators or coaches will performing at the
local beer bar. And I was up my local beer
barn recently and I was looking at the stage where
the radiators did indeed once play and there's kids all
running around on it, and I thought it was nice.
The kids are run around. There a ballroom so they
can throw the balls around. So kids go to the pub. Now,
(02:41):
back in our day, if your dad took you to
the pub, you sat outside in the car drinking a
lemon squash while he was inside with his mates.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
That wasn't great either, But it means that every moment.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
And I'm not lamenting that they were the good old day.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
No, I don't know what you mean, but there's no
moments that are for you. And the Surgeon General has said,
make sure you have time out, make sure you have
moments where you have your own clarity, where you have
your own social life where you do your own exercise,
you go to the gym, you do what you need
to do. Because this intensive parenting, there have been so
many studies on how it is for the kids, but
we're finding that for the parents it's hugely toxic. Depression, anxiety, stress,
(03:17):
These are impacts that are now being called out. So
this new form of parenting isn't good for anybody. Interesting,
isn't it.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
It's fascinating. It's fascinating. You're just going to give you
a bit of a breather.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
We'll give yourself a breather. No one else is going
to give you a breather. Give yourself a breather.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Well done, thank you.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
I'm not to take a breather, have a breathing. I'm
dealing with you as a child.
New Jersey and Amanda Jamna I heard a very interesting
podcast yesterday from the New York Times and it was
about intensive parenting and the Surgeon General, the US Surgeon
General who will make announcements on things like COVID and
smoking and important things about your health, has come out
and spoken about intensive parenting and the toxic stress is
(00:22):
creating for parents. And they looked back at how we
got to where we are with this. We've moved beyond
helicopter parenting to now intensive parenting. And in the eighties,
there was a whole series of ads on American television
about kidnapping and it was disproportionate to the number of
children that actually were kidnapped, and it started to make
parents frighten. The ad campaign said where are your kids?
(00:44):
Know where your kids are at any given moment, and
then so you had to know where they were, you
had to be in their faces. And then all that
information came up about the mouldable brain of nought to
three year olds, etc. That you could your input and everything.
So those years suddenly became so important. And then financial
(01:04):
stuff has been on top of that, as well as
social media that you have to make you get one
crack at making your kids successful. And this has been
absolutely terrifying for parents. So there's suddenly your parenting has
become a contact sport, almost a competitive sport. I heard
this really interesting, oh And saying that everything has to
(01:25):
be a teachable moment. You can no longer put your
kid in front of the TV and you go and
have a shower. You can no longer veg out with
your kid in front of the TV. You watch the show.
You're encouraged to watch the show with your child and
talk about the content and make it a teachable moment.
Everything has to be a lesson. You have to be
involved in everything, and it's giving parents incredible burnout. This
(01:46):
statistic was really interesting for me is that a working
mother today spends as much time with her children as
a stay at home mother did in the seventies. Wow,
so you wonder how does that happen. How it happens
is that you give up your leisure time, you give
up your own social time. It used to be that
you'd have a game of tennis and the kids be
off running around somewhere else. Now your kids are involved
(02:07):
in you playing tennis. You'd socialize with your friends and
the kids had been in another room. Now everyone socializes together,
so the parents, the mums and the dads are losing
out on what makes them human, on what they need
to survive a busy life.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
It's true that you look at the pubs, the pub
scene when we were young in the eighties. You go
and see the radiators or coaches will performing at the
local beer bar. And I was up my local beer
barn recently and I was looking at the stage where
the radiators did indeed once play and there's kids all
running around on it, and I thought it was nice.
The kids are run around. There a ballroom so they
can throw the balls around. So kids go to the pub. Now,
(02:41):
back in our day, if your dad took you to
the pub, you sat outside in the car drinking a
lemon squash while he was inside with his mates.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
That wasn't great either, But it means that every moment.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
And I'm not lamenting that they were the good old day.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
No, I don't know what you mean, but there's no
moments that are for you. And the Surgeon General has said,
make sure you have time out, make sure you have
moments where you have your own clarity, where you have
your own social life where you do your own exercise,
you go to the gym, you do what you need
to do. Because this intensive parenting, there have been so
many studies on how it is for the kids, but
we're finding that for the parents it's hugely toxic. Depression, anxiety, stress,
(03:17):
These are impacts that are now being called out. So
this new form of parenting isn't good for anybody. Interesting,
isn't it.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
It's fascinating. It's fascinating. You're just going to give you
a bit of a breather.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
We'll give yourself a breather. No one else is going
to give you a breather. Give yourself a breather.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Well done, thank you.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
I'm not to take a breather, have a breathing. I'm
dealing with you as a child.
Popular Podcasts
United States of Kennedy
United States of Kennedy is a podcast about our cultural fascination with the Kennedy dynasty. Every week, hosts Lyra Smith and George Civeris go into one aspect of the Kennedy story.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com