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December 3, 2024 9 mins

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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to the Robin and Kid podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm really interested in this conversation because you and I
will have very different takes on it based on our
own personal experiences. If you've listened to the show for
a long time, you'll know that we have revealed lots
about our personal lives and you, in the past were cheated.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
On a couple of times.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
Yeah, okay, a couple of times.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
Have we know about one?

Speaker 4 (00:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (00:23):
Ah, really, this is the second time. The first one
was your first.

Speaker 3 (00:28):
Wife, wife, and then the first sort of long term
girlfriend that I had after that as well, the American one. Yeah,
American one.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
Oh okay, but you were long distance, long between America
and Australia. That does not make it. Okay.

Speaker 3 (00:42):
Yes, there were extenuating circumstances, but still it happened.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
And so from my perspective, I get a bit kind
of I want to absolutely declare and say, yes I cheated,
but there were also extenuating circumstances, and they will be
in the book, and then I'm sure you will come
back to me and tell me exactly.

Speaker 3 (00:59):
What you sure.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
But that's for this conversation. Let's say I've sat on
one side, You've said on the other Yes, So it
is really interesting. I found this guy. He's the founder
of the Infidelity Counseling Center in California, and he's done
counseling and psychology. He's a licensed marriage and family counselor
a clinical psychologist. He spent seventeen years trying to help

(01:21):
couples work through infidelity and cheating. And he says that
the obvious thing from outsider is is that you just
cut and run. Yes, that's what people should do, but
he's saying that that is actually the opposite of what
you should do. There are two ways to deal with cheating.
One is you can look at it sometimes, and this
is his quote. He says, sometimes infidelity is the clear

(01:42):
signal that this relationship shouldn't have existed in the first place,
and then it's a cut and run scenario, right. But
in other cases, it can present a golden opportunity for
couples to address underlying issues and work together towards a
stronger relationship. So if something's can and you want to
save the relationship, you've got to ask why it broke, right,

(02:04):
is what I take from that.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
Yeah, okay, And.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
There are three myths that he's kicked off to say
that if you are involved with someone who you think
is cheating, or maybe you're cheating yourself, then this is
the first thing and it is what is the definition
of cheating? And again, I think you and I are
going to be really different on this. Is flirting cheating?

Speaker 3 (02:26):
No, I don't think so, Okay.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
Is texting someone else cheating?

Speaker 3 (02:30):
I mean it's starting to get murky, But no, I
don't think so.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
Texting not sexting.

Speaker 3 (02:35):
Yeah, I mean sexting is gross as well, but I
mean you can sort of you can get past that.
And once something physical happens, what really.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
Yeah, if Naomi was sexting.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
Oh, like, there'd be a massive row and I'd be
you know, it'd be a big problem. But if she
hadn't done anything yet.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
Oh, so for you it is purely physical.

Speaker 3 (02:57):
Yeah, you've got to do something before it's proper cheating.
Kiss touching though, yeah, yeah, at least a kiss or
whatever else. And then obviously, you know, the more you
can do, the worse it gets. But but yeah, there's
got to be Oh, there's got to be a physical transgression,
I should say transition.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
Yeah, No, that's not that's not my definition at all
my definition, emotional cheating is.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
Almost worse in my world.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
Right, because I think if you have given your heart
or you're starting to give your heart to someone else, yes,
then that's much more dangerous than the physical touch of things.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
Isn't that interesting? Yeah, you don't think so?

Speaker 3 (03:39):
No, I don't know. I think. I think because people
have fantasies and all those other things people have, you know,
you have these dreams, and then you can go you
can get right up to a point and go, WHOA,
what the heck was I doing? And don't do anything,
and then you've you've stepped back before you've crossed the
big line. Like you're crossing a line, no doubt. But
there's the big line is when when you when you
cross into physics Carldi.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
Okay thirteen one, six y five. If anyone wants to
jump in on this, because I like, for example, what
about online, right, and there's someone who's chatting to someone
else in America and they're doing it in the middle
of the night while their partners asleep. They're not touching
each other, but let me tell you, they are also
potentially not you know, just going Hi, how's your day?

Speaker 3 (04:20):
Yeah, I mean, look video calls start making it even
harder these days. So they're not touching, you're touching themselves.
I mean, no, no, no, I'm trying.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
This is and this is what this guy says. This
guy says tallal a slim his name is. This guy
says it. Actually, there isn't a cut and dried rule.
It comes down to what couples consider. And the biggest
mistake couples mostly make when they get together is they
don't have this discussion.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
Yeah, where the lines are?

Speaker 2 (04:50):
Where the lines are, and then miscommunication happens, someone gets jealous,
there's a rift, you know, there's a lack of trust
and on what it goes because we don't actually had
this conversation.

Speaker 1 (05:01):
So have I blurred your lines?

Speaker 3 (05:03):
Yes?

Speaker 5 (05:04):
That is?

Speaker 3 (05:04):
I mean the video call thing is so blurry, like
what do you do there? So well, but let's do
the other two points another time. Because you've got so
many calls, people want to weigh in on this or
where the line is for cheating? So thirteen one oh
sixty five out number, it's rolling a.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
Kip death of amistin what do you reckon?

Speaker 5 (05:20):
Hey, me and my partner have a rule that if
you are say you're texting someone, or you've got a
message on Facebook and you feel the need that you
need to delete it. That's wrong, that's cheating.

Speaker 3 (05:35):
Huh.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
Well, so if you need to hide the message because
you're unsure.

Speaker 5 (05:40):
No, it's wrong. Wrong, right, it shouldn't happen.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
Okay, that's a good that's a good rule. That is
a really good rule.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
Renee wants to weigh in on this in a second,
apparently and Producers saying she's been cheated on physically and emotionally,
and she can say unequivocally which one is worse.

Speaker 1 (05:57):
But Renee of Forest Lake, Oh, I've been way for
your care because sadly, my love, you've had experience of
both emotional and physical cheating. Is that right?

Speaker 4 (06:07):
Yes? That is correct? And I ten hundred percent say
that like emotional is a lot more in depth, and
it hurts and affects you a lot more than physical
because with physical the way I say it is, you
know not obviously a lot of people my say this
is incorrect. But sex and sex, and if you don't

(06:30):
have that little bit more of depth, like conversation, then
you can kind of get past that a little bit more,
if that makes sense.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
Was it the same person, Renee, did the same person
do it to you?

Speaker 4 (06:43):
No? So previously, like many years ago, it was more physical,
was like physical cheat, but the emotional was as of
recent and that's just more like in terms of actually
texting someone reminiscenting, reminiscing because it was someone from the

(07:05):
past and going on, want to be with you, I
miss you, and then basically yeah, we've got kids involved,
so it's a bit of a different kettle fish, but
also too then there was also the potential nudity photos
as well, So for me that's a little bit more
in depth because did.

Speaker 3 (07:27):
You have to see those did you have to see
those things? You saw the messages and the photos?

Speaker 4 (07:31):
Yeah, I've seen everything.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
Are you still with him?

Speaker 4 (07:37):
We are going to try to see if there's ways
around it, like counseling and stuff. It's definitely hurt me
to a full extent. But yeah, like basically at the
end of it, it's more that I thought physical was
the one that would hurt the most, but the emotional
just plays in your head so much more and so

(07:58):
much more different.

Speaker 1 (07:59):
Mate.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
I'm going to give you two hundred dollars to spend
at a Doda spar It sounds like you need to
do something lovely for you.

Speaker 3 (08:08):
Oh, thank you, thanks for best of luck with all that. Wow,
that's full on, I.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
Know, Camille Askavuca, what did you like to say?

Speaker 4 (08:17):
Hi?

Speaker 6 (08:17):
How are you going?

Speaker 3 (08:18):
Heank mel So have you had it happened to you?

Speaker 6 (08:21):
Yeah? So I was married for twenty five years and
six years I found out. So I found out he
was sitting online and I've tried to stay six years
and I found so much information of what he was
up to, lots of different.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
Things for six years.

Speaker 6 (08:37):
He kept that up six years. So I didn't know
in the beginning. In the beginning it was just online, right,
And then I found women who had contacted him, Ladies
of the night.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yeah, wow, I used to have been.

Speaker 6 (08:52):
I used to live in Melbourne. I now live in Queensland,
I say to him. So I couldn't stand the whole,
the start of it all, and yeah, it just got worse.
And then we went on a cruise together and he
did it with a woman on the cruise with this
that was my I'm giving out. It took me a
year after that.

Speaker 3 (09:09):
Sorry, Hag, did you say you hit? There was aout
other women on the cruise.

Speaker 6 (09:12):
There's a woman on.

Speaker 7 (09:13):
The cruise yet, My goodness, Camille, well my kids, oh man,
well well yeah you did, yeah you did, well done,
you mate.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
That's extraordinary, sir.

Speaker 3 (09:25):
Let's get you to be here in Bolimba. You can
go and get a nice style and blow blow wave there.
Feel better about it all. Thank you, thank you. It's
Robin on Brisbane's Kiss
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