October 31, 2025 • 34 mins
Jana shares the brutal text that completely ruined her day — and we call in dating coach Margarita Nazarenko to help decode what it really says about modern dating. Then things take a turn as Jana sparks a very heated debate: should you ever fart in front of your partner? And if that wasn’t enough, we also weigh in on a listener dilemma involving a husband who caught his wife having a little… solo fun.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, cheeky ones, a heads up. Saucy Secrets is
about to start.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Now.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
This isn't your average radio chat. It has adult themes
and some sexual references. We're diving into real confessions, spicy fantasies,
and some real jaw dropping stories. So if you're easily shocked,
maybe go find a gardening show. But if you're ready
for some fun, a little scandal and absolutely no judgment,
you're in the right safe place. Real people, real confessions.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
It's Saucy Secrets. I'm Kiss Saucy.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Welcome back to Saucy Secrets, I'm dating and sex columnists
Joanna Howking and I am joined by MC the radio extraordinary.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Not just any sex and dating columnists, the best of
the best, the cream of the crop.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Well, they just have no filter.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
That's also true. You're just the one that's willing to
talk about the stuff that the others watch. That's why
you're here.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I always know I'm onto the money. When my brother
and my mum refuses to read whatever I'm talking about,
they won't listen to this pot. So we can say whatever.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
The heck we want, not just on the radio, not
just on podcast, also on YouTube as well. So search
saucy secrets, make sure you like, make sure you subscribe.
Obviously a big show coming up and a big thank
you our friends at Juju. On the show tonight, we're
giving away the Zalo Share the buzz, It hugs him,
It thrills you, body safe, silicon and ergonomic design for
(01:22):
comfy play shop at juju jou jou dot com, dot
a you. I've got no idea how his badgro I do.
It looks like a giant air Pods container.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
It does.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
But this is what I've been talking about for a while.
So if you remember, I think it was episode one
or two, I gave a hot tip. I was like, men,
if you're worried about having a small penis, or you're
worried that you can't keep it up for long enough,
get yourself a cock crow.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
So there's a thing in that it slides on your thing.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
It's a ring and it vibrates, so it's perfect for
women as well, so it makes their penis.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Look, why did you stop? I don't know what all
the things that we've said on the show. Oh, I
can't possibly say dick, Oh no, Well.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
It's actually so it's a cockring. It goes on your
cockin it makes it look bigger and it vibrates, so
it's like you're inserting like a vibrator into the women
and so we all get joyed from it. I highly
recommend it. I think it's one of the best sex
toys you can buy.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I want to win one of these bad boys. We'll
give you that chance a little later on in the show.
A big thank you to Juju.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Now MCA, I have had a hot mess of a
week this week. It's been a disaster. It saw me
almost crying on Instagram. You know those annoying videos who
jump on Instagram and.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Way freight me alone.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
I was that girl and I was like, go a
little bit. I did go on Instagram. On Monday, I
had had the Sunday SATs. Now, for people who aren't single,
you won't know that. For single people, Sundays are the
worst Sunday because it's when you couples do all the
romantic nize things. So you know, you might wake up
(02:56):
a little bit hungover. You want to go like sleep in,
maybe you have some morning sex, wake up, get a
greasy breakfast, go look at an art gallery, or go
watch the football or whatever. Together you never feel so
single as you do on a Sunday when you can't
do all that cute stuff with someone, and if you
dare venture out, you're going to see all those couples
and it's actually going to make you feel worse. Yeah.
(03:19):
So I was spiraling this last Sunday, really in the
thick of those emotions, when a guy I've been on
and off with for years sent me a text. And
I've just moved to a new part of town, so
he was like, I'm going to come out this week.
I'm going to take you for lunch. We'll have a beautiful,
you know day, And I was like, Hurrah, this Sunday
isn't terrible after all Sunday sad.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
No more Sunday sad Sunday sexes who knows do what.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
I am ovulating? So I was really horny at this moment,
which also makes me think that's why I said yes
to this guy who Ha's never worked with in the past, but.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
I was so happy with him.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think you know. I was digmatized,
So I said, oh my god, yes, I love the
word dignatized. By the way, just like as soon as
you say it, you get what I mean. So I
was like, okay, yes, this sounds amazing. Of course you
can take me out for lunch, organize lunch for Thursday.
And then he said the worst thing. Now, let's remember
(04:16):
this guy is fifty three, so he should know better.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I have an adult human and at this point adult human.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
He said to me, okay, great, really looking forward to it. Now,
if you could just message me on like Monday or
Tuesday to remind me, that would be great. Back to
the Sunday sads.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
You've already slipped so far down his priority list. It's
not funny already.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
He's already telling me I'm probably going to forget. I
got so offended, so then I literally said, bro, I'm
not going out with someone that I have to remind
to go out with me.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Damn right, that's down.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I really did.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
I was a bud a man called boss bitch okay
for me, Yeah, damn you, boss bitch.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Thank you so much, because I do. I feel like
that out once. But then I got sad because I
was like, ah, men are the worst. I'm susickal being single.
So I did get on Instagram on the Monday and
I just wanted to like remind people for all those
stupid Instagram videos that is like single life is the best. Yes,
it's so great being single? Aren't we all fabulous? Who
needs a boyfriend? Blah blah blah. I wanted to remind
(05:20):
people that it is actually okay to be sad about
being single. You don't have to always be positive about it.
And so I threw this video out going, you know,
it actually sometimes really does suck being single, and I
got the most beautiful messages of people saying I feel
exactly the same. It really does suck. You know. I
had a shitty Sunday as well, so you know, I
(05:43):
did marinate in that and I was like, Okay, it's
okay to be sad, but now I'm in a okay,
well then let's sort this out mood. So I'm in
my boss bitch, yah, boss bitch, thank you so much.
So I've invited Margarete and Nazarenko onto the podcast this week.
So brilliant. So she's one of TikTok's most talked about
(06:05):
voices on dating and relationships. She's known for her brutally
honest takes that make women cheer and men's squirm. And
we're lucky enough to have Margarita Nazararenko, who has the
world's best name, here to unpack why her unapologetic truth
bombs keep going viral. I'm obsessed with you. Welcome Margerita,
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
I'm obsessed with you.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
So I've got a million questions to ask you. Sure,
perhaps answer them, but the first one is okay. So
you've got this black cat Golden Retriever theory. My therapist
the other day said that I'm a golden Retriever, which
I don't want to be, So can you explain to
us what the theory is and how I can become
a black cat?
Speaker 3 (06:48):
So the theory originated on TikTok. It just happens. It's
like a mushroom that suddenly grows and everyone just resonates
with it and it takes on life of its own.
It started off with somebody talking about friendships in that
way where a golden Retriever is the happy one and
the black cat is reserved and cool. And I think
where it comes to men and women and where I
talk about it is that women thrive in the position
(07:10):
of a black cat. Women feel good when they're loved
and admired when a woman is chasing a man. She
feels a bit shit about herself. I've never been to
a wedding where a woman goes, oh, do you know what?
I chased him down, he wasn't sure about me, and
now you know I want him over or I impressed him.
But men are quite proud of that story when they
talk about women that they kind of proved their affection
(07:30):
for and then she changed her mind, they see that
as a win. So the golden retriever energy, kind of
the chasing energy suits a man in terms of a
relationship because he's feeling like he won something.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Now, in your podcast a lot, you talk about high
value women. What is a high value woman and how
do I become one?
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Oh? You are, don't worry. But the thing is, I
take viral terms that exist on the internet and I
talk about them from an angle that is actually helpful.
High value women as this whole like Andrew Tates scenario,
you know, what do you bring to the table, And
the answer for woman is nothing, because if you are
bargaining with what you bring to the table, that means
you don't have intrinsic feminine energy, which is the energy
of being yourself, being kind, being funny, being relaxed, and
(08:11):
masculine energy is everything that you are doing or what
you are becoming, because essentially, I heard a scientist say,
we're all born as women in the womb essentially, and
you become a man, you don't become feminine. You are
already feminine. That's why boys insult each other with you're
such a girl. It's not just societal, it's because to
become masculine you have to become brave, become strong. No,
(08:33):
little boy is brave and strong. Yeah, we're all feminine.
Traits are intrinsically ours, and masculinity is developed.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
So if someone is worried that they're in musculine masculine
energy too much and they want to sit in there
feminine in when they go on dates, because I struggle.
I still go on dates. I take over the chat.
I you know, I will happily go to the bar
and pay for our drinks.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
And well, it's just the art of flirting, is it
is an art form? Yeah, And to flirt with someone
and be feminine, that's the one thing men don't have.
They're not intrinsically feminine, so for them to see someone feminine,
someone relaxed, someone who's really easy to be with but
hard to get. That's the paradigm. Not hard to get
as in like she's running away for no reason, but
as in like she's busy, she's got her own life.
(09:19):
She's hard to get, but she's easy to be with.
Because women these days are very easy to get. Yet
what time we're meeting? Sorry? Yeah, are you here at five?
You know, they're very like on it. And then if
he doesn't perform in the way she wants in any paradigm,
she's upset about it. She's really hard to be with
and it's not enjoyable.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
But then are we playing games?
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Like if games? Again?
Speaker 1 (09:41):
That's what I wanted to ask you, because I can't
decide because we're told so much on the tiktoks and
the instagrams and everything, like don't play play games?
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Be authentically yourself? What is authentically yourself a series of
reactions you've had from ways that you've learnt to be
because of the way you were parented, or because of
the way you interacted with people, of algorithms that you've
seen work. A lot of things that I talk about
is anxious attachment versus avoidant attachment versus secure Some of
us who got parented well and had a nice life
(10:09):
are securely attached. We know how to interact with people.
To them, be yourself as good advice. Yeah, be yourself
is like, yeah, you're a great person. Just be yourself.
To someone who's anxious and bombards people with texts and
doesn't know how to and they're all, you know, flinching
and glitch, be yourself is probably a disaster to them.
A good idea would be relaxed. So don't be yourself.
See what happens if you don't initiate another text.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
So it's not even playing games, it's sitting in the
discomfort to make it any discomfort of who would I
be if I was comfortable with silence? Okay, I want
your own advice on a dating thing that happened to
me last week.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
We really upset me.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
So this guy had been I've dated him on and
off for years and he's a peeda pan so he
will never grow up. He's fifty three and he kept like,
you know, I've moved to Palm Beach. So he said, oh,
come to Palm Beach.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
I'll take you out for lunch.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
We can have like beautiful lunch, we'll go for a swim,
We'll be lovely. I said, perfect, and then he said
this thing, which ruined it. So he said we'd organized
to meet on the Thursday for lunch. And so he said, oh,
can you just text me Monday or Tuesday to remind me.
I was like, you invited me on the date.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
I actually have goose bums.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Right, this man is fifty three, very capable in the
business world.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
What did you do? Is the question.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
I think you'll be proud of me. So I sent
him a message and said, I said, bro, though, which
is sitting in my masculine so I regret that, but
I said, bro, I don't go out with men who
I have to remind to hang out with me. And
then he said, I'll put it in my diary. Like
he backtracked and was like, babab babe, I'll put in
my day and make sure it happened.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
It didn't happen. It didn't happen, And I didn't remind
him because it's level zero. Let's call it level five
and level ten of unbothered feminine energy. Okay, so level
zero would be why would you tell me to do?
You know, all of this kind of like crying, sulking,
or reminding him being like, hi, reminding you to book
our date? That'd be you did five, which is good, Okay, good,
you said I don't book dates and I don't. You've
(12:04):
set a boundary, great, fantastic, Okay. What you should have
done is not replied and forgot to remind.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Him, not reply at all when.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
He said no. And then when he says to you, oh,
we were supposed to go up, you go, well, we oh.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Yeah, because he messaged me this week.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
That's the true essence of what would because you're still
controlling the situation. You're telling him how to act, what
to do, teach him by your actions that I'm not
the reminder.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
So here's a few scenarios which I've personally found myself in,
and I think.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
A lot of our listeners have as well.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
This is just my free therapy session. I wanted to
find out green flag or red flag so he won't
share his location settings with you, so like, you know,
like find my friend, how how long is the relationship?
Six months?
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Green flag?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
That he won't share them with you?
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Why are you asking him?
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Because I want to know where he is at all time?
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Bothering him, aren't you?
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Oh gross, I was just mothering him. Okay, you're so right.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Okay, he shouldn't even thinking about his location. Who is he?
Speaker 2 (13:09):
He's already it's not going at all, Keep going.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Okay. He has a lot of girlfriends.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
What kind of girlfriends?
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Like?
Speaker 1 (13:20):
He's always texting.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Them, texting them? Yeah, read flag? Why have you got
time for girlfriends? Get another job?
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Oh my god, that's so brutal.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Listen, women believe in male female friendships. You believe that
men are your friends. You're also very attractive, so you
might be believing a unicorn that doesn't exist. Men can
be friends with women if it's for a work reason,
or for a project, or for things like that. I'm
not saying that they're never friends with women. It cannot
be possible. But usually if he's sitting there with you
texting a goal.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
If the opportunity came up to shag them.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
He yes, why, absolutely, wow? Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Okay. He only wants to see you on weekends.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
What's his job finance? Broh, No, because he's going out
drinking at night. If someone's late for you but on
time everywhere else, that's a red flag. Men don't change
you know when when you meet them and they're like, oh,
I'm just you know, in the hustle right now. You know,
I can't do much, I can't see much. That's gonna
be him forever. You're gonna be there with the kids
and he's I can't do much, I can't see you much.
(14:18):
It changes how they act that way. Yeah, but if
he's not serious and he's out with his bros. He'll
be at the pub with his friends when he's eight
sixty as.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Well, he wants the second date at his house. The
amount of men that have said to me, Oh, I'm
a really good cook, come to my house. I'll cook
you dinner. What do you think I'm gonna die?
Speaker 3 (14:36):
I don't want to eat ly, I don't care. Why
am I going to your house? I don't like sitting
at home. They just want to shag day. Yeah, no
red flag? Okay, good, I fell fly. It's fine. It's fine.
I mean he's trying. You're sexy, It's okay.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Yeah, that's true, isn't it? Because I always say, at
least be like, if a guy hits you up for
sex on the first day, I'd be more offended if
they didn't. Yeah, Okay, he still follows his ex on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
He shouldn't have Instagram. What's he doing that unless it's
for work? Yeah, unless you have to post for work,
unless you've got like a renovation company and you're posting
on their radio station. You're a cintem photographer. Why is
he following people? What's he doing again? Get another job.
Any guy who wants to date and is like, doesn't
know how to be attractive, just say you're not on
(15:22):
social media. She'll be like, you are not what social
media is for the girls in the gate so hot.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
It's for the girls and the gates. You're changing it, like,
I'm gonna have to get rid of my whole roster,
and then the ones who take a selfie. Okay, Final one.
He's great in bed, but terrible at texting.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
Green flag? Why why is he texting again? No, I'm kidding,
but honestly, like some men are women see his lack
of verbal fluency compliments texting. Let me tell you like this,
when people are like, I'll just text your husband and
ask him, like, you'll get a reply in two business
days from me, from everyone from the president. He's just
(16:00):
not on his phone, so it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Oh my god, because this same guy that I was
seeing last year. You're answering so many questions, but I
would unravel because he would take eight hours and he
would put his phone on Do not Disturb, which would
drive me insane. And I took it so personally until
like a year later when I got to know him
away from trying to date him, and he's who he
is does do that to everyone, and I had like,
(16:26):
I had called it off with him because I'm like,
this is so rude. Why doesn't he answer back to me?
And now I'm looking back, going, oh that is so
you can. I was gonna say manipulate, wrong word, motivate.
A difference is to say I love it when you
text me every day. Let's say, hen't you haven't heard
from him? The worst thing you can do if you
still want him to want you is wow, okay, call
(16:47):
me back. Finally pass.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Now you go, Oh my god, it's so good to
hear from you. I'm so excited. I know it hurts
inside to do it because you're like, how dare you? Yeah?
But watch he'll change. Another one is women have a
problem with you're sitting in a restaurant and he's looking
at attractive women.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Okay, they call it red Ferrari syndrome. So yes, I've
written about this before. Where it's because this is how
guys get out of it, they say, because I caught
a guy out once on a date. Every hot girl,
he literally he didn't just you know, do that subtle look.
He would move his whole body to look at these
girls and was driving me insane. And then someone said
(17:23):
to me, no, it's red Ferrari zone where you know,
I don't want to red Ferrari, but if one drives
past me on the street, I'm going to go, oh,
red Ferrari. And that's how I think people get around it.
But what's your take on it?
Speaker 3 (17:36):
I think it matters if he's completely swerving, that's disrespect
to you, right, It's just anyone can control themselves. You've
got such lack of control.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
I don't mean effort to look.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
Yeah yeah, then and he's either trying to insult you
or trying to put you down, or he doesn't care
about you that much that it doesn't matter. But if
you're with the guy and he just like this, come on,
I look at women who are in bright colors or bodies,
et cetera. The worst thing you can do is why
did you just look at her? It just creates such
a bad scenario, and then it creates competition. It means
to him that you're competing with her. That means you
(18:07):
think that she's got something that you don't. And men
kind of buy into marketing. I suppose if he sees
you and you're just engaged, you're talking, you're laughing, he's
looked at her. You haven't even noticed. He's like, oh
my god, what is going on here? She's not bothered
about that. I've learned so much. Can we please get
you on a guess?
Speaker 1 (18:26):
I think we should put a call out for listeners
to send in their questions and we need to get
you back and just do it.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
Open the hotline.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
If you need more Margarita in your life. The podcast
it's called Being Her, and the book The New Rules.
Margarita Nazarenko, thank you so much for joining us on
Saucy Secrets.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
We didn't plan to discuss what we're about to discuss, boy,
but as Margarite and Nazarenko said, you know, we do
need to sit in our feminine energy. But in the break,
I let off.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
A giant burp.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
And that set off a big debate, and I scolded
myself because it wasn't very feminine energy of me. And
then it's with somehow.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I said, next week, are you gonna fart?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Oh? Yes?
Speaker 2 (19:10):
And you said, I don't far.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Girls don't fight. We're like Barbie doors. We have nothing
done there. Yeah, And it brought up the topic of
fighting in front of your partner. I was disgusted to
find out that you happily not only do you fight
in front of your partner, you take a shit in
front of you.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
I do, and I've done it for a long time
as well. Like I will sit there with the door
open and do it. Why is everyone shaking their heads
at me?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Because it's disgusting like this, Like if I can smell
poop particles, I don't want to have sex with that person.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
I'll like, I will sit on the toilet with the
door open, do what I need to do. And if
I need to ask my wife a question, I say,
come here, I need to come here. I need to
ask you something, or if she's getting ready in the
shower for something, and you like, when you've got to go,
you've got to go. When nature calls, I'll just go
for it. I mean, I am classy. I don't want
anyone watching me white my bum. Obviously I do have limits,
(20:06):
not an animal, but I'm so fine with her and
to be up like my wife doesn't far or do it.
But I would not bother me because.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
She's a lady. Now, I don't understand that you genuinely,
because I would rather self combust than I like when
I wake up at a guy's house. I never get
tummy rumbles for some reason. Every time I sleep over
a guy's house. I think it's a bit like waking
up going oopsie, daisies, I'll slept with him. But also like,
oh god, the nerves and everything, it just builds up
(20:35):
all this gas. I would rather self combust than fart
in front of him.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
They were saying, better out than in make that one up.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
There was a study that said this is so great.
It said that when you do hold in a fight,
it actually comes out your mouth.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
I do call Burt's mouth fart, so that makes sense.
I read that. I read that.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
But then producer Taylor, she's married, she's got gorgeous twins,
and you agreed, you don't fight in front of your partner,
do you correct?
Speaker 4 (21:01):
So we've been together for ten years now and I
would rather, like you, Janna, just avoid it at all costs.
So I've never done it in front of him. Hey,
by all means does it in front of me? Played
ten times a day. But to me, I just can't
bring myself to do it.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
And it's money for ladies.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
Yeah, it's not even like he said, Oh, don't you
ever do that in front of me? I just would
never do it.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
It's disgusting, see for something. I don't know if this
is offensive. I just pegged you as a farmer, like
an open farm.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
So did I to take that?
Speaker 4 (21:34):
So I'm glad to set the record straight.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
So have you back? Okay, So have you ever either
of you? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Accidentally once once with a guy and he maybe this
is why I'm so scarred by it. I did it
once with a guy like I was jumping into bed.
I was like, yeah, we're at home, and I jumped
in a better way boop, and I died. I died.
I actually dutch hove into myself because I was so horrified.
I just pulled the blanket over me. And then he
was like, you're showing you obviously, but he gave me
(22:03):
this look of disgust, and ever since then, I've been horriford.
And we didn't have sex that night because I think
he was like, you farted you hearted.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
So the only time I've ever accidentally done it was
in the birthing suite, so fair. He even made us
point to make a comment at that time and goes,
oh my god, block your noses, guys. He said that
to the nurse in the to the nurses, the midwife
and Bosatricia. I looked at him, I said, not now
and that time, so I feel like I could get
(22:36):
off of that.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
So yeah, it's what's your policy on during show in
studio farting? Is that?
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Absolutely not?
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (22:44):
That will be the last time we ever saw EMC.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
You're here for the people. You're here to answer their questions.
You're here to help them in their darkest moments.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
And I'm just really curious and snoopy, so I love
when people share.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
With me a bit of a PERV and you're like
to hear some stories.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
From people, and I'm a girl, so I like to
deep dive and find the answers. But we got a
very saucy secret or a saucy question this week, if
you will. It's from a man, So that's exciting, he said,
Dear Jammer, my wife has always sworn she doesn't masturbate.
Speaker 5 (23:18):
Lol.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
She's told me for years that she's just not into
that sort of thing. I never pushed her. I figured
some people just aren't. Then last week I left for work,
I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. So I came back
inside and I walked in on her mid session with
a dildo the size and girth.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
Of a squash, or, if we really want to think.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
About it, perhaps it was like the girth masters a
frank green bottle.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
I don't know why I'm doing this with my hands
for those that are watching on your shoe, but I
seem to do this a lot.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
It would be good for the blue thank you hands,
so he said. It's not a little buzzer, not something discrete.
This thing looked like it belonged in a sci fi movie.
It's a giant one, he said. We both froze, and
I quickly backed out of the room like I'd witnessed
a crime. Well, you're already off to a bad stuff.
(24:05):
I haven't mentioned it since and neither has she. But
now I can't.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
Stop thinking about it.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
If she lied about that, what else has she kept
from me? I know it's technically not cheating. Oh calm down, mate,
but I can't help feeling weirdly portrayed and honestly a
little intimidated signed jealous of the giant. First of all,
it is not cheating. If it involves batteries or it
can be hooked up to a USB, it's not cheating.
(24:32):
And secondly, yes, a lot of women don't admit to
masturbating like we all do it. If you're having sex,
you've masturbated unless you're asexual, which you know, I think
there's like five percent of the world out there who is.
You are definitely fiddling with yourself and it shouldn't be shamed.
And you and I are comfortable as saying like we're
(24:54):
fine with it, but a lot of people aren't. And
if you've been to a Catholic school or you maybe
had parents who didn't openly talk about sex, there is
that shame that still goes with masturbating. But it's very normal.
Everyone does it. So I think he needs to stop
seeing it as a portrayal and actually it's a really
good open door to start talking about.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Do you think maybe he's also felt really uncomfortable because
of the size of the apparatus that she was using,
and maybe he's now feeling insecure and questioning what he's
got because he's going, well, am I, am I not enough?
Is that what it is for him? Am I not
satisfying her needs? So she has to go out and
get this giant dildo to do what I can't.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
He's got dick envy now from a toy, and I
totally get that, but he also needs to remember like
women like variety. I mean, thank god, she's not getting
her variety from another man.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Imagine if he had come home this was playing out
like a scene in the movie where the person goes
and forgets the keys, comes back in and it's it's
the neighbor that's in bed with the wah good bow chicken.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Well yeah, Chickwell, but no, it was a toy. She
wanted to variety. But you're seeing it as a curse,
but it's actually a blessing. I think now they've got
an open door to be like, Okay, maybe maybe poor
her a wine because she's clearly not comfortable talking about
sexuality and what she enjoys. Pour her a wine, have
(26:16):
a bit of a giggle. Like Margarita said earlier in
this show, come at it not with judgment, but come
at it from another angle and go, I was really
impressed that you do enjoy like sexually fulfilling yourself. I
want to know more about it, Like lean in, get
curious and say to her, you know, would you like
(26:38):
to introduce a toy like we can have fun with this?
Why don't you bring the toy into the bedroom? Why
don't you introduce it to both our sex life? Or
is there something you enjoy doing with the toy that
perhaps I could do, Because.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
The longer this is left unsaid, it's just going to
fester and fester and fester and fester and just become
a problem that it really doesn't need to be.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
No, And once again she'll feel shame because you're not
talking about it, so she's horrified thinking perhaps she's dirty,
or now she's worried that you think she's dirty, and
it's just we need to normalize these things. And the
more you have these uncomfortable conversations, the easier they get.
And then I don't know, I just think this will
really work in your favor for your sex life.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
And the beauty with sex toys these days is that
there are sex toys that you can use together, like,
for example, the Zalo from Juju that I'm holding right
now on the YouTube feed, and it just so happens
that we've got one of these bad boys to give
away on the show tonight Share the buzz Zalo hugs
(27:39):
him because, as you said, it's a.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
It's a cock crank, and I have used it before
myself with a guy and it really helped our sex life.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Go. It hugs him, It thrills you. Body safe, silicon
and ergonomic design for comfy play shop at Juju jou
jou dot com dot auo.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Now guest is the king of TV re caps and
scandalous deep dives. He's News dot com dot a used
James w He just launched a wild new investigative podcast
called Sex Lies and Streaming, where he follows Ossie creator
Bonnie Blue through Vegas to explore the dark, twisted truths
behind the billion dollars sex fluencial world, and he joins
(28:19):
us on the show to tell us all the gooss Welcome.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
James Hallo Guyso, oh.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
My god, I don't even know where to begin, because
I did start listening to the podcast and basically you
followed Bonnie Blue all around Vegas.
Speaker 5 (28:35):
Yeah, so Bonnie's really like, over the past twelve months,
Bonnie has become the poster girl. I guess you could
say four sex fluencers and OnlyFans. And what we've seen
sort of with this rise of of you know, DIY
porn stars getting in the headlines mainstream media with their
sex stunts. So she's really become the avatar of the
industry and it's something that we've never really seen before.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
You know, it's wild. Yeah, it feels like it's blown
up in the past year where all of a sudden,
girls are trying to beat each other and how many
men they.
Speaker 5 (29:04):
See, I know, and the thing's Pawn's not new, it's
been around forever, but there's latest trend and this kind
of blurred lines between influencer and porn star and tabloid
media identity and sort of being an outrageous mouthpiece. You know,
it's all kind of all those lines have been blurred
on the other people like Bonnie Blue and Lily Phillips,
(29:27):
they're doing all of these stunts, and it's caused a
lot of resentment, you know, because I think the more
people that I spoke to, not only are these girls
on OnlyFans able if they do it, you know, like
Bonnie Blue, they're able to earn a lot of money.
Most people don't, but some people do hit the jackpot
big and they earn a lot of money. And when
(29:49):
you compare that to what people get paid for a
traditional porn scene, it's only two thousand dollars for a scene,
and so it's actually changed in traditional porn. They're actually,
I've been told they've been struggling to recruit new people
to perform in porn just because they're pricing themselves out
of the market. And a lot of these DIY performers
(30:10):
they actually don't care because at the end of the day,
they get to buy their designer handbag in their Lamborghini,
and they don't really see themselves as part of the industry,
you know. And there's a lot of unspoken rules in
the porn industry, and there's a lot of knowledge that's
handed down. But people like Bonnie when I would talk
to her, not only was she she washed her hands
(30:31):
of a lot of that, but She was very defensive,
and she's come into the industry just assuming that people,
you know, that should be peers and colleagues. She assumes
that they.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Don't like her.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
So what is she like behind the scenes.
Speaker 5 (30:43):
So I flew over to La to catch this private
jet that they had charted to Las Vegas for the
Oscars of Porn, where Bonnie was convinced that she was
going to take the crown for Best Independent Female Creator. Anyway,
it was like a week after she had done this
thousand man gangbang, she suddenly disappears. It's because she's got
(31:03):
a really bad virus. After Yeah, I know, I know.
She had got a very bad virus from one of
the one thousand men. Her team were really worried about
people finding that out. But how am I supposed to
explain to my listeners why Bonnie's not there for a
podcast that's supposed to be following her.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
So we're on the private jed.
Speaker 5 (31:23):
I'm with the publicist and her sister, who had just
quit her job at a supermarket and flown over to
join the entourage as a paid member of staff. Also
in this entourage was a manager Ollie, but he wasn't
all who he appeared to be because they didn't want
me interviewing him to begin with or identifying him, but
(31:44):
the tag on his bag spelled out his name for me.
It was Ollie Davidson, and an article in a tabloid
overseas had just come out twenty four hours prior identifying
an Ollie Davidson as Bonnie's husband.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Yeah, then it sort.
Speaker 5 (31:59):
Of just started to unravel even more because Bonnie's saying
that they're separated, but technically they're still married and he's
her manager. So I'm sort of being told by the
publicist that I'm not allowed to ask any questions about
this personal relationship, but I try to just inch closer
a little bit when I chat to Olie.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Here's how it goes with him.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
Is Bonnie your exclusive client?
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Yeah, she's many client.
Speaker 5 (32:23):
Now how did you start managing her?
Speaker 2 (32:25):
I've known her quite a long time, so we've got
quite a unique relationship. So I don't know what I
can say on this. Are you guys ex'es?
Speaker 1 (32:36):
She's my ex?
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Well, I don't want that out though. People don't like
the idea that there's men in the background helping her out.
Speaker 5 (32:44):
So not only did he want to stay out of
the headlines for personal reasons, but apparently sort of. What
I gleaned from what he was telling me and what
I found out later on, was it's actually better for
Bonnie's business. But in the episode that comes out this
week of the sex licen str podcast, I end up
crashing the mansion that she's renting.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
In Las Vegas.
Speaker 5 (33:04):
She didn't know that I would be in her bedroom
that night, and the things that I witness that she
uh left out and what was kind of around the bedroom.
They paint a different realitydom no, no, no no, but
just the reality of their true relationship. It was very
different to what she presents.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
So basically they were in this they were staying in
the same room.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Yes there was Look now I think they're still married.
Speaker 5 (33:30):
It didn't seem to me that they were truly you
know bitter X's Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
And I've already used one lame saying on the show tonight,
let's do a second time flies when you're having fun, guys,
and it shows here I.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Know and I've learned so much And do you know
what annoys me? I found out this week that I've
been dating.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Or wrong and I, yeah, my roster, you need to
rethink everything there, don't you.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
I know this has been a real learning experience.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Big thank you to dating coach Marguerite and Nazarenko for
setting you straight.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Yes, I love her so much. I'm still fan girl
over her. And let's see what next week brings. And
let's see if I turn these lessons into practice.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Anything is possible. Anything is possible. Don't forget to grab
the podcast, like subscribe, check us out on YouTube, and
we'll see you next week. This is Soucy Secrets on
Kiss Bye.
All right, cheeky ones, a heads up. Saucy Secrets is
about to start.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Now.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
This isn't your average radio chat. It has adult themes
and some sexual references. We're diving into real confessions, spicy fantasies,
and some real jaw dropping stories. So if you're easily shocked,
maybe go find a gardening show. But if you're ready
for some fun, a little scandal and absolutely no judgment,
you're in the right safe place. Real people, real confessions.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
It's Saucy Secrets. I'm Kiss Saucy.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Welcome back to Saucy Secrets, I'm dating and sex columnists
Joanna Howking and I am joined by MC the radio extraordinary.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Not just any sex and dating columnists, the best of
the best, the cream of the crop.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Well, they just have no filter.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
That's also true. You're just the one that's willing to
talk about the stuff that the others watch. That's why
you're here.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I always know I'm onto the money. When my brother
and my mum refuses to read whatever I'm talking about,
they won't listen to this pot. So we can say whatever.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
The heck we want, not just on the radio, not
just on podcast, also on YouTube as well. So search
saucy secrets, make sure you like, make sure you subscribe.
Obviously a big show coming up and a big thank
you our friends at Juju. On the show tonight, we're
giving away the Zalo Share the buzz, It hugs him,
It thrills you, body safe, silicon and ergonomic design for
(01:22):
comfy play shop at juju jou jou dot com, dot
a you. I've got no idea how his badgro I do.
It looks like a giant air Pods container.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
It does.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
But this is what I've been talking about for a while.
So if you remember, I think it was episode one
or two, I gave a hot tip. I was like, men,
if you're worried about having a small penis, or you're
worried that you can't keep it up for long enough,
get yourself a cock crow.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
So there's a thing in that it slides on your thing.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
It's a ring and it vibrates, so it's perfect for
women as well, so it makes their penis.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Look, why did you stop? I don't know what all
the things that we've said on the show. Oh, I
can't possibly say dick, Oh no, Well.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
It's actually so it's a cockring. It goes on your
cockin it makes it look bigger and it vibrates, so
it's like you're inserting like a vibrator into the women
and so we all get joyed from it. I highly
recommend it. I think it's one of the best sex
toys you can buy.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I want to win one of these bad boys. We'll
give you that chance a little later on in the show.
A big thank you to Juju.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Now MCA, I have had a hot mess of a
week this week. It's been a disaster. It saw me
almost crying on Instagram. You know those annoying videos who
jump on Instagram and.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Way freight me alone.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
I was that girl and I was like, go a
little bit. I did go on Instagram. On Monday, I
had had the Sunday SATs. Now, for people who aren't single,
you won't know that. For single people, Sundays are the
worst Sunday because it's when you couples do all the
romantic nize things. So you know, you might wake up
(02:56):
a little bit hungover. You want to go like sleep in,
maybe you have some morning sex, wake up, get a
greasy breakfast, go look at an art gallery, or go
watch the football or whatever. Together you never feel so
single as you do on a Sunday when you can't
do all that cute stuff with someone, and if you
dare venture out, you're going to see all those couples
and it's actually going to make you feel worse. Yeah.
(03:19):
So I was spiraling this last Sunday, really in the
thick of those emotions, when a guy I've been on
and off with for years sent me a text. And
I've just moved to a new part of town, so
he was like, I'm going to come out this week.
I'm going to take you for lunch. We'll have a beautiful,
you know day, And I was like, Hurrah, this Sunday
isn't terrible after all Sunday sad.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
No more Sunday sad Sunday sexes who knows do what.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
I am ovulating? So I was really horny at this moment,
which also makes me think that's why I said yes
to this guy who Ha's never worked with in the past, but.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
I was so happy with him.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think you know. I was digmatized,
So I said, oh my god, yes, I love the
word dignatized. By the way, just like as soon as
you say it, you get what I mean. So I
was like, okay, yes, this sounds amazing. Of course you
can take me out for lunch, organize lunch for Thursday.
And then he said the worst thing. Now, let's remember
(04:16):
this guy is fifty three, so he should know better.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I have an adult human and at this point adult human.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
He said to me, okay, great, really looking forward to it. Now,
if you could just message me on like Monday or
Tuesday to remind me, that would be great. Back to
the Sunday sads.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
You've already slipped so far down his priority list. It's
not funny already.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
He's already telling me I'm probably going to forget. I
got so offended, so then I literally said, bro, I'm
not going out with someone that I have to remind
to go out with me.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Damn right, that's down.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I really did.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
I was a bud a man called boss bitch okay
for me, Yeah, damn you, boss bitch.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Thank you so much, because I do. I feel like
that out once. But then I got sad because I
was like, ah, men are the worst. I'm susickal being single.
So I did get on Instagram on the Monday and
I just wanted to like remind people for all those
stupid Instagram videos that is like single life is the best. Yes,
it's so great being single? Aren't we all fabulous? Who
needs a boyfriend? Blah blah blah. I wanted to remind
(05:20):
people that it is actually okay to be sad about
being single. You don't have to always be positive about it.
And so I threw this video out going, you know,
it actually sometimes really does suck being single, and I
got the most beautiful messages of people saying I feel
exactly the same. It really does suck. You know. I
had a shitty Sunday as well, so you know, I
(05:43):
did marinate in that and I was like, Okay, it's
okay to be sad, but now I'm in a okay,
well then let's sort this out mood. So I'm in
my boss bitch, yah, boss bitch, thank you so much.
So I've invited Margarete and Nazarenko onto the podcast this week.
So brilliant. So she's one of TikTok's most talked about
(06:05):
voices on dating and relationships. She's known for her brutally
honest takes that make women cheer and men's squirm. And
we're lucky enough to have Margarita Nazararenko, who has the
world's best name, here to unpack why her unapologetic truth
bombs keep going viral. I'm obsessed with you. Welcome Margerita,
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
I'm obsessed with you.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
So I've got a million questions to ask you. Sure,
perhaps answer them, but the first one is okay. So
you've got this black cat Golden Retriever theory. My therapist
the other day said that I'm a golden Retriever, which
I don't want to be, So can you explain to
us what the theory is and how I can become
a black cat?
Speaker 3 (06:48):
So the theory originated on TikTok. It just happens. It's
like a mushroom that suddenly grows and everyone just resonates
with it and it takes on life of its own.
It started off with somebody talking about friendships in that
way where a golden Retriever is the happy one and
the black cat is reserved and cool. And I think
where it comes to men and women and where I
talk about it is that women thrive in the position
(07:10):
of a black cat. Women feel good when they're loved
and admired when a woman is chasing a man. She
feels a bit shit about herself. I've never been to
a wedding where a woman goes, oh, do you know what?
I chased him down, he wasn't sure about me, and
now you know I want him over or I impressed him.
But men are quite proud of that story when they
talk about women that they kind of proved their affection
(07:30):
for and then she changed her mind, they see that
as a win. So the golden retriever energy, kind of
the chasing energy suits a man in terms of a
relationship because he's feeling like he won something.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Now, in your podcast a lot, you talk about high
value women. What is a high value woman and how
do I become one?
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Oh? You are, don't worry. But the thing is, I
take viral terms that exist on the internet and I
talk about them from an angle that is actually helpful.
High value women as this whole like Andrew Tates scenario,
you know, what do you bring to the table, And
the answer for woman is nothing, because if you are
bargaining with what you bring to the table, that means
you don't have intrinsic feminine energy, which is the energy
of being yourself, being kind, being funny, being relaxed, and
(08:11):
masculine energy is everything that you are doing or what
you are becoming, because essentially, I heard a scientist say,
we're all born as women in the womb essentially, and
you become a man, you don't become feminine. You are
already feminine. That's why boys insult each other with you're
such a girl. It's not just societal, it's because to
become masculine you have to become brave, become strong. No,
(08:33):
little boy is brave and strong. Yeah, we're all feminine.
Traits are intrinsically ours, and masculinity is developed.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
So if someone is worried that they're in musculine masculine
energy too much and they want to sit in there
feminine in when they go on dates, because I struggle.
I still go on dates. I take over the chat.
I you know, I will happily go to the bar
and pay for our drinks.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
And well, it's just the art of flirting, is it
is an art form? Yeah, And to flirt with someone
and be feminine, that's the one thing men don't have.
They're not intrinsically feminine, so for them to see someone feminine,
someone relaxed, someone who's really easy to be with but
hard to get. That's the paradigm. Not hard to get
as in like she's running away for no reason, but
as in like she's busy, she's got her own life.
(09:19):
She's hard to get, but she's easy to be with.
Because women these days are very easy to get. Yet
what time we're meeting? Sorry? Yeah, are you here at five?
You know, they're very like on it. And then if
he doesn't perform in the way she wants in any paradigm,
she's upset about it. She's really hard to be with
and it's not enjoyable.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
But then are we playing games?
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Like if games? Again?
Speaker 1 (09:41):
That's what I wanted to ask you, because I can't
decide because we're told so much on the tiktoks and
the instagrams and everything, like don't play play games?
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Be authentically yourself? What is authentically yourself a series of
reactions you've had from ways that you've learnt to be
because of the way you were parented, or because of
the way you interacted with people, of algorithms that you've
seen work. A lot of things that I talk about
is anxious attachment versus avoidant attachment versus secure Some of
us who got parented well and had a nice life
(10:09):
are securely attached. We know how to interact with people.
To them, be yourself as good advice. Yeah, be yourself
is like, yeah, you're a great person. Just be yourself.
To someone who's anxious and bombards people with texts and
doesn't know how to and they're all, you know, flinching
and glitch, be yourself is probably a disaster to them.
A good idea would be relaxed. So don't be yourself.
See what happens if you don't initiate another text.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
So it's not even playing games, it's sitting in the
discomfort to make it any discomfort of who would I
be if I was comfortable with silence? Okay, I want
your own advice on a dating thing that happened to
me last week.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
We really upset me.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
So this guy had been I've dated him on and
off for years and he's a peeda pan so he
will never grow up. He's fifty three and he kept like,
you know, I've moved to Palm Beach. So he said, oh,
come to Palm Beach.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
I'll take you out for lunch.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
We can have like beautiful lunch, we'll go for a swim,
We'll be lovely. I said, perfect, and then he said
this thing, which ruined it. So he said we'd organized
to meet on the Thursday for lunch. And so he said, oh,
can you just text me Monday or Tuesday to remind me.
I was like, you invited me on the date.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
I actually have goose bums.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Right, this man is fifty three, very capable in the
business world.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
What did you do? Is the question.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
I think you'll be proud of me. So I sent
him a message and said, I said, bro, though, which
is sitting in my masculine so I regret that, but
I said, bro, I don't go out with men who
I have to remind to hang out with me. And
then he said, I'll put it in my diary. Like
he backtracked and was like, babab babe, I'll put in
my day and make sure it happened.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
It didn't happen. It didn't happen, And I didn't remind
him because it's level zero. Let's call it level five
and level ten of unbothered feminine energy. Okay, so level
zero would be why would you tell me to do?
You know, all of this kind of like crying, sulking,
or reminding him being like, hi, reminding you to book
our date? That'd be you did five, which is good, Okay, good,
you said I don't book dates and I don't. You've
(12:04):
set a boundary, great, fantastic, Okay. What you should have
done is not replied and forgot to remind.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Him, not reply at all when.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
He said no. And then when he says to you, oh,
we were supposed to go up, you go, well, we oh.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Yeah, because he messaged me this week.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
That's the true essence of what would because you're still
controlling the situation. You're telling him how to act, what
to do, teach him by your actions that I'm not
the reminder.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
So here's a few scenarios which I've personally found myself in,
and I think.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
A lot of our listeners have as well.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
This is just my free therapy session. I wanted to
find out green flag or red flag so he won't
share his location settings with you, so like, you know,
like find my friend, how how long is the relationship?
Six months?
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Green flag?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
That he won't share them with you?
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Why are you asking him?
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Because I want to know where he is at all time?
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Bothering him, aren't you?
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Oh gross, I was just mothering him. Okay, you're so right.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Okay, he shouldn't even thinking about his location. Who is he?
Speaker 2 (13:09):
He's already it's not going at all, Keep going.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Okay. He has a lot of girlfriends.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
What kind of girlfriends?
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Like?
Speaker 1 (13:20):
He's always texting.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Them, texting them? Yeah, read flag? Why have you got
time for girlfriends? Get another job?
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Oh my god, that's so brutal.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Listen, women believe in male female friendships. You believe that
men are your friends. You're also very attractive, so you
might be believing a unicorn that doesn't exist. Men can
be friends with women if it's for a work reason,
or for a project, or for things like that. I'm
not saying that they're never friends with women. It cannot
be possible. But usually if he's sitting there with you
texting a goal.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
If the opportunity came up to shag them.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
He yes, why, absolutely, wow? Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Okay. He only wants to see you on weekends.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
What's his job finance? Broh, No, because he's going out
drinking at night. If someone's late for you but on
time everywhere else, that's a red flag. Men don't change
you know when when you meet them and they're like, oh,
I'm just you know, in the hustle right now. You know,
I can't do much, I can't see much. That's gonna
be him forever. You're gonna be there with the kids
and he's I can't do much, I can't see you much.
(14:18):
It changes how they act that way. Yeah, but if
he's not serious and he's out with his bros. He'll
be at the pub with his friends when he's eight
sixty as.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Well, he wants the second date at his house. The
amount of men that have said to me, Oh, I'm
a really good cook, come to my house. I'll cook
you dinner. What do you think I'm gonna die?
Speaker 3 (14:36):
I don't want to eat ly, I don't care. Why
am I going to your house? I don't like sitting
at home. They just want to shag day. Yeah, no
red flag? Okay, good, I fell fly. It's fine. It's fine.
I mean he's trying. You're sexy, It's okay.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Yeah, that's true, isn't it? Because I always say, at
least be like, if a guy hits you up for
sex on the first day, I'd be more offended if
they didn't. Yeah, Okay, he still follows his ex on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
He shouldn't have Instagram. What's he doing that unless it's
for work? Yeah, unless you have to post for work,
unless you've got like a renovation company and you're posting
on their radio station. You're a cintem photographer. Why is
he following people? What's he doing again? Get another job.
Any guy who wants to date and is like, doesn't
know how to be attractive, just say you're not on
(15:22):
social media. She'll be like, you are not what social
media is for the girls in the gate so hot.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
It's for the girls and the gates. You're changing it, like,
I'm gonna have to get rid of my whole roster,
and then the ones who take a selfie. Okay, Final one.
He's great in bed, but terrible at texting.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
Green flag? Why why is he texting again? No, I'm kidding,
but honestly, like some men are women see his lack
of verbal fluency compliments texting. Let me tell you like this,
when people are like, I'll just text your husband and
ask him, like, you'll get a reply in two business
days from me, from everyone from the president. He's just
(16:00):
not on his phone, so it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Oh my god, because this same guy that I was
seeing last year. You're answering so many questions, but I
would unravel because he would take eight hours and he
would put his phone on Do not Disturb, which would
drive me insane. And I took it so personally until
like a year later when I got to know him
away from trying to date him, and he's who he
is does do that to everyone, and I had like,
(16:26):
I had called it off with him because I'm like,
this is so rude. Why doesn't he answer back to me?
And now I'm looking back, going, oh that is so
you can. I was gonna say manipulate, wrong word, motivate.
A difference is to say I love it when you
text me every day. Let's say, hen't you haven't heard
from him? The worst thing you can do if you
still want him to want you is wow, okay, call
(16:47):
me back. Finally pass.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Now you go, Oh my god, it's so good to
hear from you. I'm so excited. I know it hurts
inside to do it because you're like, how dare you? Yeah?
But watch he'll change. Another one is women have a
problem with you're sitting in a restaurant and he's looking
at attractive women.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Okay, they call it red Ferrari syndrome. So yes, I've
written about this before. Where it's because this is how
guys get out of it, they say, because I caught
a guy out once on a date. Every hot girl,
he literally he didn't just you know, do that subtle look.
He would move his whole body to look at these
girls and was driving me insane. And then someone said
(17:23):
to me, no, it's red Ferrari zone where you know,
I don't want to red Ferrari, but if one drives
past me on the street, I'm going to go, oh,
red Ferrari. And that's how I think people get around it.
But what's your take on it?
Speaker 3 (17:36):
I think it matters if he's completely swerving, that's disrespect
to you, right, It's just anyone can control themselves. You've
got such lack of control.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
I don't mean effort to look.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
Yeah yeah, then and he's either trying to insult you
or trying to put you down, or he doesn't care
about you that much that it doesn't matter. But if
you're with the guy and he just like this, come on,
I look at women who are in bright colors or bodies,
et cetera. The worst thing you can do is why
did you just look at her? It just creates such
a bad scenario, and then it creates competition. It means
to him that you're competing with her. That means you
(18:07):
think that she's got something that you don't. And men
kind of buy into marketing. I suppose if he sees
you and you're just engaged, you're talking, you're laughing, he's
looked at her. You haven't even noticed. He's like, oh
my god, what is going on here? She's not bothered
about that. I've learned so much. Can we please get
you on a guess?
Speaker 1 (18:26):
I think we should put a call out for listeners
to send in their questions and we need to get
you back and just do it.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
Open the hotline.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
If you need more Margarita in your life. The podcast
it's called Being Her, and the book The New Rules.
Margarita Nazarenko, thank you so much for joining us on
Saucy Secrets.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
We didn't plan to discuss what we're about to discuss, boy,
but as Margarite and Nazarenko said, you know, we do
need to sit in our feminine energy. But in the break,
I let off.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
A giant burp.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
And that set off a big debate, and I scolded
myself because it wasn't very feminine energy of me. And
then it's with somehow.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I said, next week, are you gonna fart?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Oh? Yes?
Speaker 2 (19:10):
And you said, I don't far.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Girls don't fight. We're like Barbie doors. We have nothing
done there. Yeah, And it brought up the topic of
fighting in front of your partner. I was disgusted to
find out that you happily not only do you fight
in front of your partner, you take a shit in
front of you.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
I do, and I've done it for a long time
as well. Like I will sit there with the door
open and do it. Why is everyone shaking their heads
at me?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Because it's disgusting like this, Like if I can smell
poop particles, I don't want to have sex with that person.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
I'll like, I will sit on the toilet with the
door open, do what I need to do. And if
I need to ask my wife a question, I say,
come here, I need to come here. I need to
ask you something, or if she's getting ready in the
shower for something, and you like, when you've got to go,
you've got to go. When nature calls, I'll just go
for it. I mean, I am classy. I don't want
anyone watching me white my bum. Obviously I do have limits,
(20:06):
not an animal, but I'm so fine with her and
to be up like my wife doesn't far or do it.
But I would not bother me because.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
She's a lady. Now, I don't understand that you genuinely,
because I would rather self combust than I like when
I wake up at a guy's house. I never get
tummy rumbles for some reason. Every time I sleep over
a guy's house. I think it's a bit like waking
up going oopsie, daisies, I'll slept with him. But also like,
oh god, the nerves and everything, it just builds up
(20:35):
all this gas. I would rather self combust than fart
in front of him.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
They were saying, better out than in make that one up.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
There was a study that said this is so great.
It said that when you do hold in a fight,
it actually comes out your mouth.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
I do call Burt's mouth fart, so that makes sense.
I read that. I read that.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
But then producer Taylor, she's married, she's got gorgeous twins,
and you agreed, you don't fight in front of your partner,
do you correct?
Speaker 4 (21:01):
So we've been together for ten years now and I
would rather, like you, Janna, just avoid it at all costs.
So I've never done it in front of him. Hey,
by all means does it in front of me? Played
ten times a day. But to me, I just can't
bring myself to do it.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
And it's money for ladies.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
Yeah, it's not even like he said, Oh, don't you
ever do that in front of me? I just would
never do it.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
It's disgusting, see for something. I don't know if this
is offensive. I just pegged you as a farmer, like
an open farm.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
So did I to take that?
Speaker 4 (21:34):
So I'm glad to set the record straight.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
So have you back? Okay, So have you ever either
of you? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Accidentally once once with a guy and he maybe this
is why I'm so scarred by it. I did it
once with a guy like I was jumping into bed.
I was like, yeah, we're at home, and I jumped
in a better way boop, and I died. I died.
I actually dutch hove into myself because I was so horrified.
I just pulled the blanket over me. And then he
was like, you're showing you obviously, but he gave me
(22:03):
this look of disgust, and ever since then, I've been horriford.
And we didn't have sex that night because I think
he was like, you farted you hearted.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
So the only time I've ever accidentally done it was
in the birthing suite, so fair. He even made us
point to make a comment at that time and goes,
oh my god, block your noses, guys. He said that
to the nurse in the to the nurses, the midwife
and Bosatricia. I looked at him, I said, not now
and that time, so I feel like I could get
(22:36):
off of that.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
So yeah, it's what's your policy on during show in
studio farting? Is that?
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Absolutely not?
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (22:44):
That will be the last time we ever saw EMC.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
You're here for the people. You're here to answer their questions.
You're here to help them in their darkest moments.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
And I'm just really curious and snoopy, so I love
when people share.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
With me a bit of a PERV and you're like
to hear some stories.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
From people, and I'm a girl, so I like to
deep dive and find the answers. But we got a
very saucy secret or a saucy question this week, if
you will. It's from a man, So that's exciting, he said,
Dear Jammer, my wife has always sworn she doesn't masturbate.
Speaker 5 (23:18):
Lol.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
She's told me for years that she's just not into
that sort of thing. I never pushed her. I figured
some people just aren't. Then last week I left for work,
I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. So I came back
inside and I walked in on her mid session with
a dildo the size and girth.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
Of a squash, or, if we really want to think.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
About it, perhaps it was like the girth masters a
frank green bottle.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
I don't know why I'm doing this with my hands
for those that are watching on your shoe, but I
seem to do this a lot.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
It would be good for the blue thank you hands,
so he said. It's not a little buzzer, not something discrete.
This thing looked like it belonged in a sci fi movie.
It's a giant one, he said. We both froze, and
I quickly backed out of the room like I'd witnessed
a crime. Well, you're already off to a bad stuff.
(24:05):
I haven't mentioned it since and neither has she. But
now I can't.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
Stop thinking about it.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
If she lied about that, what else has she kept
from me? I know it's technically not cheating. Oh calm down, mate,
but I can't help feeling weirdly portrayed and honestly a
little intimidated signed jealous of the giant. First of all,
it is not cheating. If it involves batteries or it
can be hooked up to a USB, it's not cheating.
(24:32):
And secondly, yes, a lot of women don't admit to
masturbating like we all do it. If you're having sex,
you've masturbated unless you're asexual, which you know, I think
there's like five percent of the world out there who is.
You are definitely fiddling with yourself and it shouldn't be shamed.
And you and I are comfortable as saying like we're
(24:54):
fine with it, but a lot of people aren't. And
if you've been to a Catholic school or you maybe
had parents who didn't openly talk about sex, there is
that shame that still goes with masturbating. But it's very normal.
Everyone does it. So I think he needs to stop
seeing it as a portrayal and actually it's a really
good open door to start talking about.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Do you think maybe he's also felt really uncomfortable because
of the size of the apparatus that she was using,
and maybe he's now feeling insecure and questioning what he's
got because he's going, well, am I, am I not enough?
Is that what it is for him? Am I not
satisfying her needs? So she has to go out and
get this giant dildo to do what I can't.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
He's got dick envy now from a toy, and I
totally get that, but he also needs to remember like
women like variety. I mean, thank god, she's not getting
her variety from another man.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Imagine if he had come home this was playing out
like a scene in the movie where the person goes
and forgets the keys, comes back in and it's it's
the neighbor that's in bed with the wah good bow chicken.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Well yeah, Chickwell, but no, it was a toy. She
wanted to variety. But you're seeing it as a curse,
but it's actually a blessing. I think now they've got
an open door to be like, Okay, maybe maybe poor
her a wine because she's clearly not comfortable talking about
sexuality and what she enjoys. Pour her a wine, have
(26:16):
a bit of a giggle. Like Margarita said earlier in
this show, come at it not with judgment, but come
at it from another angle and go, I was really
impressed that you do enjoy like sexually fulfilling yourself. I
want to know more about it, Like lean in, get
curious and say to her, you know, would you like
(26:38):
to introduce a toy like we can have fun with this?
Why don't you bring the toy into the bedroom? Why
don't you introduce it to both our sex life? Or
is there something you enjoy doing with the toy that
perhaps I could do, Because.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
The longer this is left unsaid, it's just going to
fester and fester and fester and fester and just become
a problem that it really doesn't need to be.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
No, And once again she'll feel shame because you're not
talking about it, so she's horrified thinking perhaps she's dirty,
or now she's worried that you think she's dirty, and
it's just we need to normalize these things. And the
more you have these uncomfortable conversations, the easier they get.
And then I don't know, I just think this will
really work in your favor for your sex life.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
And the beauty with sex toys these days is that
there are sex toys that you can use together, like,
for example, the Zalo from Juju that I'm holding right
now on the YouTube feed, and it just so happens
that we've got one of these bad boys to give
away on the show tonight Share the buzz Zalo hugs
(27:39):
him because, as you said, it's a.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
It's a cock crank, and I have used it before
myself with a guy and it really helped our sex life.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Go. It hugs him, It thrills you. Body safe, silicon
and ergonomic design for comfy play shop at Juju jou
jou dot com dot auo.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Now guest is the king of TV re caps and
scandalous deep dives. He's News dot com dot a used
James w He just launched a wild new investigative podcast
called Sex Lies and Streaming, where he follows Ossie creator
Bonnie Blue through Vegas to explore the dark, twisted truths
behind the billion dollars sex fluencial world, and he joins
(28:19):
us on the show to tell us all the gooss Welcome.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
James Hallo Guyso, oh.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
My god, I don't even know where to begin, because
I did start listening to the podcast and basically you
followed Bonnie Blue all around Vegas.
Speaker 5 (28:35):
Yeah, so Bonnie's really like, over the past twelve months,
Bonnie has become the poster girl. I guess you could
say four sex fluencers and OnlyFans. And what we've seen
sort of with this rise of of you know, DIY
porn stars getting in the headlines mainstream media with their
sex stunts. So she's really become the avatar of the
industry and it's something that we've never really seen before.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
You know, it's wild. Yeah, it feels like it's blown
up in the past year where all of a sudden,
girls are trying to beat each other and how many
men they.
Speaker 5 (29:04):
See, I know, and the thing's Pawn's not new, it's
been around forever, but there's latest trend and this kind
of blurred lines between influencer and porn star and tabloid
media identity and sort of being an outrageous mouthpiece. You know,
it's all kind of all those lines have been blurred
on the other people like Bonnie Blue and Lily Phillips,
(29:27):
they're doing all of these stunts, and it's caused a
lot of resentment, you know, because I think the more
people that I spoke to, not only are these girls
on OnlyFans able if they do it, you know, like
Bonnie Blue, they're able to earn a lot of money.
Most people don't, but some people do hit the jackpot
big and they earn a lot of money. And when
(29:49):
you compare that to what people get paid for a
traditional porn scene, it's only two thousand dollars for a scene,
and so it's actually changed in traditional porn. They're actually,
I've been told they've been struggling to recruit new people
to perform in porn just because they're pricing themselves out
of the market. And a lot of these DIY performers
(30:10):
they actually don't care because at the end of the day,
they get to buy their designer handbag in their Lamborghini,
and they don't really see themselves as part of the industry,
you know. And there's a lot of unspoken rules in
the porn industry, and there's a lot of knowledge that's
handed down. But people like Bonnie when I would talk
to her, not only was she she washed her hands
(30:31):
of a lot of that, but She was very defensive,
and she's come into the industry just assuming that people,
you know, that should be peers and colleagues. She assumes
that they.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Don't like her.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
So what is she like behind the scenes.
Speaker 5 (30:43):
So I flew over to La to catch this private
jet that they had charted to Las Vegas for the
Oscars of Porn, where Bonnie was convinced that she was
going to take the crown for Best Independent Female Creator. Anyway,
it was like a week after she had done this
thousand man gangbang, she suddenly disappears. It's because she's got
(31:03):
a really bad virus. After Yeah, I know, I know.
She had got a very bad virus from one of
the one thousand men. Her team were really worried about
people finding that out. But how am I supposed to
explain to my listeners why Bonnie's not there for a
podcast that's supposed to be following her.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
So we're on the private jed.
Speaker 5 (31:23):
I'm with the publicist and her sister, who had just
quit her job at a supermarket and flown over to
join the entourage as a paid member of staff. Also
in this entourage was a manager Ollie, but he wasn't
all who he appeared to be because they didn't want
me interviewing him to begin with or identifying him, but
(31:44):
the tag on his bag spelled out his name for me.
It was Ollie Davidson, and an article in a tabloid
overseas had just come out twenty four hours prior identifying
an Ollie Davidson as Bonnie's husband.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Yeah, then it sort.
Speaker 5 (31:59):
Of just started to unravel even more because Bonnie's saying
that they're separated, but technically they're still married and he's
her manager. So I'm sort of being told by the
publicist that I'm not allowed to ask any questions about
this personal relationship, but I try to just inch closer
a little bit when I chat to Olie.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Here's how it goes with him.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
Is Bonnie your exclusive client?
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Yeah, she's many client.
Speaker 5 (32:23):
Now how did you start managing her?
Speaker 2 (32:25):
I've known her quite a long time, so we've got
quite a unique relationship. So I don't know what I
can say on this. Are you guys ex'es?
Speaker 1 (32:36):
She's my ex?
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Well, I don't want that out though. People don't like
the idea that there's men in the background helping her out.
Speaker 5 (32:44):
So not only did he want to stay out of
the headlines for personal reasons, but apparently sort of. What
I gleaned from what he was telling me and what
I found out later on, was it's actually better for
Bonnie's business. But in the episode that comes out this
week of the sex licen str podcast, I end up
crashing the mansion that she's renting.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
In Las Vegas.
Speaker 5 (33:04):
She didn't know that I would be in her bedroom
that night, and the things that I witness that she
uh left out and what was kind of around the bedroom.
They paint a different realitydom no, no, no no, but
just the reality of their true relationship. It was very
different to what she presents.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
So basically they were in this they were staying in
the same room.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Yes there was Look now I think they're still married.
Speaker 5 (33:30):
It didn't seem to me that they were truly you
know bitter X's Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
And I've already used one lame saying on the show tonight,
let's do a second time flies when you're having fun, guys,
and it shows here I.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Know and I've learned so much And do you know
what annoys me? I found out this week that I've
been dating.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Or wrong and I, yeah, my roster, you need to
rethink everything there, don't you.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
I know this has been a real learning experience.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Big thank you to dating coach Marguerite and Nazarenko for
setting you straight.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Yes, I love her so much. I'm still fan girl
over her. And let's see what next week brings. And
let's see if I turn these lessons into practice.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Anything is possible. Anything is possible. Don't forget to grab
the podcast, like subscribe, check us out on YouTube, and
we'll see you next week. This is Soucy Secrets on
Kiss Bye.
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