November 2, 2025 • 12 mins
Margarita Nazarenko: The Unapologetic Truth About Modern Dating
Ever wondered why some women seem to effortlessly attract quality partners while others struggle in an endless cycle of disappointment? TikTok's most brutally honest relationship expert, Margarita Nazarenko, joins us to decode the mysterious dynamics between men and women that nobody else is talking about.
In this captivating conversation, Margarita unpacks her viral "Black Cat vs. Golden Retriever" theory that's transforming how women approach dating. She explains why chasing men puts women in an energetic deficit and reveals the counterintuitive truth about what it really means to be a "high value woman" (hint: it's not what Andrew Tate thinks).
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm very excited about this guest. So she's one of
TikTok's most talked about voices on dating and relationships. She's
known for her brutally honest takes that make women cheer
and men's squirm. And we're lucky enough to have Margarita Nazarenko,
who has the world's best name, here to unpack why
her unapologetic truth bombs keep going viral. I'm obsessed with you.
(00:24):
Welcome MARGERITEA thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I'm obsessed with you.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
So I've got a million questions to ask you. Sure,
perhaps answer them, but the first one is okay. So
you've got this black cat Golden Retriever theory. My therapist
the other day said that I'm a golden retriever, which
I don't want to be. So can you explain to
us what the theory is and how I can become
a black cat?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
So the theory originated on TikTok. It just happens. It's
like a mushroom that suddenly grows and everyone just resonates
with it and it takes on life of its own.
It started off with somebody talking about friendships in that
way where a golden retriever is a happy one and
the black cat is reserved and cool. And I think
where it comes to men and women and where I
talk about it is that women thrive in the position
(01:09):
of a black cat. Women feel good when they're loved
and admired. When a woman is chasing a man, she
feels a bit shit about herself. I've never been to
a wedding where a woman goes, oh, do you know what?
I chased him down. He wasn't sure about me, and
now you know I want him over or I impressed him.
But men are quite proud of that story. When they
talk about women that they kind of proved their affection
(01:29):
for and then she changed her mind, they see that
as a win. So the golden retriever energy, kind of
the chasing energy, suits a man in terms of a
relationship because he's feeling like he won something. Now.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
In your podcast a lot, you talk about high value women.
What is a high value woman and how do I
become one?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Oh? You are, don't worry. But the thing is, I
take viral terms that exist on the Internet and I
talk about them from an angle that is actually helpful.
High value women as this whole like Andrew Tates scenario.
You know, what do you bring to the table, And
the answer for woman is nothing, because if you are
bargaining with what you bring to the table, that means
you don't have intrinsic feminine energy, which is the energy
of being yourself, being kind, being funny, being relaxed. And
(02:10):
masculine energy is everything that you are doing or what
you are becoming, because essentially, I heard a scientist say,
we're all born as women in the womb essentially, and
you become a man, you don't become feminine, you are
already Feminine's why boys insult each other with you're such
a girl. It's not just societal, it's because to become
masculine you have to become brave, become strong. No little
(02:32):
boy is brave and strong. Yeah, we're all feminine traits
are intrinsically ours and masculinity is developed.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
So if someone is worried that they're in musculine masculine
energy too much and they want to sit in there
feminine in when they go on dates because I struggle,
I strug go on dates. I take over the chat.
I you know, I will happily go to the bar
and pay for our drinks.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
And well, it's just the art of flirting, isn't It
is an art? Yeah, And to flirt with someone and
be feminine, that's the one thing men don't have. They're
not intrinsically feminine. So for them to see someone feminine,
someone relaxed, someone who's really easy to be with but
hard to get, that's the paradigm. Not hard to get
as in like she's running away for no reason, but
as in like she's busy, she's got her own life.
(03:19):
She's hard to get, but she's easy to be with,
because women these days are very easy to get. Yet
what time we're meeting? Sorry? Yeah, are you here at five?
You know, they're very like on it. And then if
he doesn't perform in the way she wants in any paradigm,
she's upset about it. She's really hard to be with
and it's not enjoyable.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
But then are we playing games?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Like? If games?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Again? That's what I wanted to ask you, because I
can't decide because we're told so much on the tiktoks
and the instagrams and everything like don't play play games?
Be authentically yourself?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
What is authentically yourself? A series of reactions you've had
from ways that you've learnt to be because of the
way you were parented or because of the way you
interacted with people. It's a series of algorith that you've
seen work. A lot of things that I talk about
is anxious attachment versus avoidant attachment versus secure Some of
us who got parented well and had a nice life
are securely attached. We know how to interact with people.
(04:11):
To them, be yourself as good advice. Yeah, be yourself
is like, yeah, you're a great person. Just be yourself.
To someone who's anxious and bombards people with texts and
doesn't know how to and they're all, you know, flinching
and glitch, be yourself is probably a disaster to them,
A good idea would be relaxed. So don't be yourself.
See what happens if you don't initiate another text.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
So it's not even playing games, it's sitting in the
discomfort to make it shake the discomfort of who would
I be if I was comfortable with silence? Okay, I
want your own advice on a dating thing that happened
to me last week to really upset me. So this
guy had been I've dated him on and off for
(04:51):
years and he's a peeda pant so he will never
grow up. He's fifty three, and he kept like, you know,
I've moved to Palm Beach. So he said, oh, come
to Palm Beach. I'll take you up for lunch. We
can have like beautiful lunch, we'll go for a swim.
We'll be lovely. I said, perfect. And then he said
this thing which ruined it. So he said we'd organized
to meet on the Thursday for lunch. And so he said, oh,
can you just text me Monday or Tuesday to remind me.
(05:14):
I was like, you invited me on the date.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
I actually have goosebumps.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Right, this man is fifty three, very capable in the
business world.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
What did you do? Is the question. I think you'll
be proud of me.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
So I sent him a message and said, I said, bro, though,
which is sitting in my masculine so I regret that,
but I said, bro, I don't go out with men
who I have to remind to hang out with me.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
And then he.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Said, I'll put it in my diary. Like he backtracked
and was like, babab babe, We'll put in my day
and make sure it happened.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
It didn't happen. It didn't happen, and I didn't remind
him because it's level zero. Let's call it level five
and level ten of unbothered feminine energy. Okay, so level
zero would be why would you tell me to do?
You know, all of this kind of like crying, sulking,
or reminding him being like, hi, reminding you to book
our date? That'd be zero. You did, which is good, Okay, good,
you said I don't book dates and I don't you
(06:04):
set a boundary? Great, fantastic, Okay. What you should have
done is not replied and forgot to remind.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Him, not reply at all when he said no.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
And then when he says to you, oh, we were
supposed to go up, you go will we? Oh?
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Yeah, because he messaged me this week.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
That's the true essence of what would because you're still
controlling the situation. You're telling him how to act, what
to do, teach him by your actions that I'm not
the reminder.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
I want to play a game of green flag Red
flag because.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
My version of the reality.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Yeah, I want brutal I want brutal honesty, because I
think you will surprise us with what is actually a
green flag and a red flag that we don't know
we're doing. Okay, so here's a few scenarios which I've
personally found myself in, and I think a lot of
our listeners have as well. This is just my free
therapy session. I wanted to find out green flag or
(06:59):
red flag? So he won't share his location settings with you,
so like, you know, like find my friend.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
How long is the relationship? Six months? Green flag? That
he won't share them with you? Why are you asking him?
Because I want to know where he is at all time?
Bothering him, aren't you?
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Oh? Gross, I was just mothering him. Okay, you're sor right.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Okay, you shouldn't even thinking about his location? Who is he?
He's already it's not going at all, Keep going.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Okay, he has a lot of girlfriends.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
What kind of girlfriends?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Like, he's always texting them?
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Texting them? Yeah, red flag? Why have you got time
for girlfriends? Get another job?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Oh my god, that's so brutal.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Listen, women believe in male female friendships. You believe that
men are your friends. You're also very attractive, so you
might be believing a unicorn that doesn't exist. Men can
be friends with women, if it's for a work reason
or for a project, or for things like that. I'm
not saying that they're never friends with women. It cannot
be possible. But usually if he's sitting there with you
texting a goal, if.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
The opportunity came up to shag them, he yes, right, absolutely, wow, absolutely, Okay.
He only wants to see you on weekends.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
What's his job finance.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Broh, No, because he's going out drinking at night. If
someone's late for you but on time everywhere else, that's
a red flag. Men don't change, you know, when you
meet them and they're like, oh, I'm just you know,
in the hustle right now.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
You know I can't do much, I can't see much.
That's gonna be him forever. You're gonna be there with
the kids, and he's I can't do much, I can't
see you much. It changes how they act that way. Yeah,
But if he's not serious and he's out with his brows,
he'll be at the pub with his friends when he's
eight sixty as well.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
He wants the second date at his house. The amount
of men that have said to me, oh, I'm a
really good cook, come to my house. I'll cook you dinner.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
What do you think.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
I'm gonna die? I don't want to eat ly, I
don't care. Why am I going to your house? I
don't like sitting at home. You just want to shag day? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
No, red flag? Okay, good, I feel fly. It's fine.
It's fine. I mean he's trying. You're sexy, It's okay.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yeah, that's true, isn't it? Because I always say, at
least be like, if a guy hits you up for
sex on the first day, I'd be more offended if
they didn't. Yeah, okay, he still follows his x on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
He shouldn't have Instagram. What's he doing that? Unless it's
for work? Yeah, unless you have to post for work.
Unless you've got like a renovation company and you're posting
on their radio station. You're a cintematographer. Why is he
following people? What's he doing again? Get another job. Any
guy who wants to date and is like doesn't know
how to be attractive to say you're not on social media,
(09:36):
she'll be like, you are not. What social media is
for the girls.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
On the game so Hot, it's for the girls and
the gays. You're changing it, like I'm gonna have to
get rid of my whole roster. And then the ones
who take a selfie. Okay, final one. He's great in bed,
but terrible at texting.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Green flag? Why why is he texting again? No, I'm kidding,
but honestly, like some men are women's see his lack
of verbal fluency compliments texting. Let me tell you like this,
when people are like, oh, just text your husband and
ask him, like, you'll get a reply in two business
days from me, from everyone, from the president. He's just
(10:14):
not on his phone so it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Oh my god, because this same guy that I was
seeing last year, you're answering so many questions. But I
would unravel because he would take eight hours and he
would put his phone on do not Disturb, which would
drive me insane. And I took it so personally until
like a year later when I got to know him
away from trying to date him, and he's who he is,
(10:37):
does do that to everyone, And I had like, I
had called it off with him because I'm like, this
is so rude. Why doesn't he answer back to me?
And now I'm looking back, going, oh that is you
can I was gonna say, manipulate wrong word motivate. A
difference is to say I love it when you text
me every day. Let's say you haven't heard from him.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
The worst thing you can do if you still want
him to want you is wow, okay, call me back.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Finally passive. Now you go, oh my god, It's so
good to hear from you.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
I'm so excited. I know it hurts inside to do
it because you're like, how dare you? Yeah? But watch
you'll change. Another one is women have a problem with
You're sitting in a restaurant and he's looking at attractive women.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Okay, they call it red Ferrari syndrome. Is so yes,
I've written about this before. Where it's because this is
how guys get out of it, they say, because I
caught a guy out once on a date. Every hot girl,
he literally he didn't just you know, do that subtle look.
He would move his whole body to look at these
girls and was driving me insane. And then someone said
(11:37):
to me, no, it's Red Ferrari zone where you know,
I don't want to red Ferrari, but if one drives
past me on the street, I'm going to go, oh,
red Ferrari. And that's how I think people get around it.
But what's your take on it? I think it matters.
If he's completely swerving, that's disrespect to you. Yeah right,
It's just anyone can control themselves. You've got such lack
of control. I don't men effort to look yeah like yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Then and he's either trying to insult you or trying
to put you down, or he doesn't care about you
that much that it doesn't matter. But if you're with
a guy and he just like this, come on, I
look at women who are in bright colors or bodies, etc.
The worst thing you can do is why did you
just look at her? It just creates such a bad scenario.
And then it creates competition. It means to him that
you're competing with her. That means you think that she's
(12:22):
got something that you don't. And men kind of buy
into marketing. I suppose if he sees you and you're
just engaged, you're talking, you're laughing, he's looked at her,
you haven't even noticed. He's like, oh my god, what
is going on here? She's not bothered about that. I've
learned so much. Can we please get you on a guess?
Speaker 1 (12:40):
I think we should put a call out for listeners
to send in their questions and we need to get
you back and just do it.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Open the hotline if you need more Margarita in your life.
The podcast it's called Being Her, and the book The
New Rules. Margarita Nazarenko, thank you so much for joining
us on Saucy Secrets
I'm very excited about this guest. So she's one of
TikTok's most talked about voices on dating and relationships. She's
known for her brutally honest takes that make women cheer
and men's squirm. And we're lucky enough to have Margarita Nazarenko,
who has the world's best name, here to unpack why
her unapologetic truth bombs keep going viral. I'm obsessed with you.
(00:24):
Welcome MARGERITEA thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I'm obsessed with you.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
So I've got a million questions to ask you. Sure,
perhaps answer them, but the first one is okay. So
you've got this black cat Golden Retriever theory. My therapist
the other day said that I'm a golden retriever, which
I don't want to be. So can you explain to
us what the theory is and how I can become
a black cat?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
So the theory originated on TikTok. It just happens. It's
like a mushroom that suddenly grows and everyone just resonates
with it and it takes on life of its own.
It started off with somebody talking about friendships in that
way where a golden retriever is a happy one and
the black cat is reserved and cool. And I think
where it comes to men and women and where I
talk about it is that women thrive in the position
(01:09):
of a black cat. Women feel good when they're loved
and admired. When a woman is chasing a man, she
feels a bit shit about herself. I've never been to
a wedding where a woman goes, oh, do you know what?
I chased him down. He wasn't sure about me, and
now you know I want him over or I impressed him.
But men are quite proud of that story. When they
talk about women that they kind of proved their affection
(01:29):
for and then she changed her mind, they see that
as a win. So the golden retriever energy, kind of
the chasing energy, suits a man in terms of a
relationship because he's feeling like he won something. Now.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
In your podcast a lot, you talk about high value women.
What is a high value woman and how do I
become one?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Oh? You are, don't worry. But the thing is, I
take viral terms that exist on the Internet and I
talk about them from an angle that is actually helpful.
High value women as this whole like Andrew Tates scenario.
You know, what do you bring to the table, And
the answer for woman is nothing, because if you are
bargaining with what you bring to the table, that means
you don't have intrinsic feminine energy, which is the energy
of being yourself, being kind, being funny, being relaxed. And
(02:10):
masculine energy is everything that you are doing or what
you are becoming, because essentially, I heard a scientist say,
we're all born as women in the womb essentially, and
you become a man, you don't become feminine, you are
already Feminine's why boys insult each other with you're such
a girl. It's not just societal, it's because to become
masculine you have to become brave, become strong. No little
(02:32):
boy is brave and strong. Yeah, we're all feminine traits
are intrinsically ours and masculinity is developed.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
So if someone is worried that they're in musculine masculine
energy too much and they want to sit in there
feminine in when they go on dates because I struggle,
I strug go on dates. I take over the chat.
I you know, I will happily go to the bar
and pay for our drinks.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
And well, it's just the art of flirting, isn't It
is an art? Yeah, And to flirt with someone and
be feminine, that's the one thing men don't have. They're
not intrinsically feminine. So for them to see someone feminine,
someone relaxed, someone who's really easy to be with but
hard to get, that's the paradigm. Not hard to get
as in like she's running away for no reason, but
as in like she's busy, she's got her own life.
(03:19):
She's hard to get, but she's easy to be with,
because women these days are very easy to get. Yet
what time we're meeting? Sorry? Yeah, are you here at five?
You know, they're very like on it. And then if
he doesn't perform in the way she wants in any paradigm,
she's upset about it. She's really hard to be with
and it's not enjoyable.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
But then are we playing games?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Like? If games?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Again? That's what I wanted to ask you, because I
can't decide because we're told so much on the tiktoks
and the instagrams and everything like don't play play games?
Be authentically yourself?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
What is authentically yourself? A series of reactions you've had
from ways that you've learnt to be because of the
way you were parented or because of the way you
interacted with people. It's a series of algorith that you've
seen work. A lot of things that I talk about
is anxious attachment versus avoidant attachment versus secure Some of
us who got parented well and had a nice life
are securely attached. We know how to interact with people.
(04:11):
To them, be yourself as good advice. Yeah, be yourself
is like, yeah, you're a great person. Just be yourself.
To someone who's anxious and bombards people with texts and
doesn't know how to and they're all, you know, flinching
and glitch, be yourself is probably a disaster to them,
A good idea would be relaxed. So don't be yourself.
See what happens if you don't initiate another text.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
So it's not even playing games, it's sitting in the
discomfort to make it shake the discomfort of who would
I be if I was comfortable with silence? Okay, I
want your own advice on a dating thing that happened
to me last week to really upset me. So this
guy had been I've dated him on and off for
(04:51):
years and he's a peeda pant so he will never
grow up. He's fifty three, and he kept like, you know,
I've moved to Palm Beach. So he said, oh, come
to Palm Beach. I'll take you up for lunch. We
can have like beautiful lunch, we'll go for a swim.
We'll be lovely. I said, perfect. And then he said
this thing which ruined it. So he said we'd organized
to meet on the Thursday for lunch. And so he said, oh,
can you just text me Monday or Tuesday to remind me.
(05:14):
I was like, you invited me on the date.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
I actually have goosebumps.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Right, this man is fifty three, very capable in the
business world.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
What did you do? Is the question. I think you'll
be proud of me.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
So I sent him a message and said, I said, bro, though,
which is sitting in my masculine so I regret that,
but I said, bro, I don't go out with men
who I have to remind to hang out with me.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
And then he.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Said, I'll put it in my diary. Like he backtracked
and was like, babab babe, We'll put in my day
and make sure it happened.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
It didn't happen. It didn't happen, and I didn't remind
him because it's level zero. Let's call it level five
and level ten of unbothered feminine energy. Okay, so level
zero would be why would you tell me to do?
You know, all of this kind of like crying, sulking,
or reminding him being like, hi, reminding you to book
our date? That'd be zero. You did, which is good, Okay, good,
you said I don't book dates and I don't you
(06:04):
set a boundary? Great, fantastic, Okay. What you should have
done is not replied and forgot to remind.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Him, not reply at all when he said no.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
And then when he says to you, oh, we were
supposed to go up, you go will we? Oh?
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Yeah, because he messaged me this week.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
That's the true essence of what would because you're still
controlling the situation. You're telling him how to act, what
to do, teach him by your actions that I'm not
the reminder.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
I want to play a game of green flag Red
flag because.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
My version of the reality.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Yeah, I want brutal I want brutal honesty, because I
think you will surprise us with what is actually a
green flag and a red flag that we don't know
we're doing. Okay, so here's a few scenarios which I've
personally found myself in, and I think a lot of
our listeners have as well. This is just my free
therapy session. I wanted to find out green flag or
(06:59):
red flag? So he won't share his location settings with you,
so like, you know, like find my friend.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
How long is the relationship? Six months? Green flag? That
he won't share them with you? Why are you asking him?
Because I want to know where he is at all time?
Bothering him, aren't you?
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Oh? Gross, I was just mothering him. Okay, you're sor right.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Okay, you shouldn't even thinking about his location? Who is he?
He's already it's not going at all, Keep going.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Okay, he has a lot of girlfriends.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
What kind of girlfriends?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Like, he's always texting them?
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Texting them? Yeah, red flag? Why have you got time
for girlfriends? Get another job?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Oh my god, that's so brutal.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Listen, women believe in male female friendships. You believe that
men are your friends. You're also very attractive, so you
might be believing a unicorn that doesn't exist. Men can
be friends with women, if it's for a work reason
or for a project, or for things like that. I'm
not saying that they're never friends with women. It cannot
be possible. But usually if he's sitting there with you
texting a goal, if.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
The opportunity came up to shag them, he yes, right, absolutely, wow, absolutely, Okay.
He only wants to see you on weekends.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
What's his job finance.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Broh, No, because he's going out drinking at night. If
someone's late for you but on time everywhere else, that's
a red flag. Men don't change, you know, when you
meet them and they're like, oh, I'm just you know,
in the hustle right now.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
You know I can't do much, I can't see much.
That's gonna be him forever. You're gonna be there with
the kids, and he's I can't do much, I can't
see you much. It changes how they act that way. Yeah,
But if he's not serious and he's out with his brows,
he'll be at the pub with his friends when he's
eight sixty as well.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
He wants the second date at his house. The amount
of men that have said to me, oh, I'm a
really good cook, come to my house. I'll cook you dinner.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
What do you think.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
I'm gonna die? I don't want to eat ly, I
don't care. Why am I going to your house? I
don't like sitting at home. You just want to shag day? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
No, red flag? Okay, good, I feel fly. It's fine.
It's fine. I mean he's trying. You're sexy, It's okay.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yeah, that's true, isn't it? Because I always say, at
least be like, if a guy hits you up for
sex on the first day, I'd be more offended if
they didn't. Yeah, okay, he still follows his x on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
He shouldn't have Instagram. What's he doing that? Unless it's
for work? Yeah, unless you have to post for work.
Unless you've got like a renovation company and you're posting
on their radio station. You're a cintematographer. Why is he
following people? What's he doing again? Get another job. Any
guy who wants to date and is like doesn't know
how to be attractive to say you're not on social media,
(09:36):
she'll be like, you are not. What social media is
for the girls.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
On the game so Hot, it's for the girls and
the gays. You're changing it, like I'm gonna have to
get rid of my whole roster. And then the ones
who take a selfie. Okay, final one. He's great in bed,
but terrible at texting.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Green flag? Why why is he texting again? No, I'm kidding,
but honestly, like some men are women's see his lack
of verbal fluency compliments texting. Let me tell you like this,
when people are like, oh, just text your husband and
ask him, like, you'll get a reply in two business
days from me, from everyone, from the president. He's just
(10:14):
not on his phone so it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Oh my god, because this same guy that I was
seeing last year, you're answering so many questions. But I
would unravel because he would take eight hours and he
would put his phone on do not Disturb, which would
drive me insane. And I took it so personally until
like a year later when I got to know him
away from trying to date him, and he's who he is,
(10:37):
does do that to everyone, And I had like, I
had called it off with him because I'm like, this
is so rude. Why doesn't he answer back to me?
And now I'm looking back, going, oh that is you
can I was gonna say, manipulate wrong word motivate. A
difference is to say I love it when you text
me every day. Let's say you haven't heard from him.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
The worst thing you can do if you still want
him to want you is wow, okay, call me back.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Finally passive. Now you go, oh my god, It's so
good to hear from you.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
I'm so excited. I know it hurts inside to do
it because you're like, how dare you? Yeah? But watch
you'll change. Another one is women have a problem with
You're sitting in a restaurant and he's looking at attractive women.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Okay, they call it red Ferrari syndrome. Is so yes,
I've written about this before. Where it's because this is
how guys get out of it, they say, because I
caught a guy out once on a date. Every hot girl,
he literally he didn't just you know, do that subtle look.
He would move his whole body to look at these
girls and was driving me insane. And then someone said
(11:37):
to me, no, it's Red Ferrari zone where you know,
I don't want to red Ferrari, but if one drives
past me on the street, I'm going to go, oh,
red Ferrari. And that's how I think people get around it.
But what's your take on it? I think it matters.
If he's completely swerving, that's disrespect to you. Yeah right,
It's just anyone can control themselves. You've got such lack
of control. I don't men effort to look yeah like yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Then and he's either trying to insult you or trying
to put you down, or he doesn't care about you
that much that it doesn't matter. But if you're with
a guy and he just like this, come on, I
look at women who are in bright colors or bodies, etc.
The worst thing you can do is why did you
just look at her? It just creates such a bad scenario.
And then it creates competition. It means to him that
you're competing with her. That means you think that she's
(12:22):
got something that you don't. And men kind of buy
into marketing. I suppose if he sees you and you're
just engaged, you're talking, you're laughing, he's looked at her,
you haven't even noticed. He's like, oh my god, what
is going on here? She's not bothered about that. I've
learned so much. Can we please get you on a guess?
Speaker 1 (12:40):
I think we should put a call out for listeners
to send in their questions and we need to get
you back and just do it.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Open the hotline if you need more Margarita in your life.
The podcast it's called Being Her, and the book The
New Rules. Margarita Nazarenko, thank you so much for joining
us on Saucy Secrets
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