November 14, 2025 • 34 mins
Jana Hocking spills a very saucy secret — the sex move she swears will get you MARRIED. We’re also joined by Alicia Davis, who tells the chaotic story of the sex toy that got stuck up her bum on a first date. And to top it all off, we chat to a man who proudly calls himself a self-confessed throner.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
How big was this butt plug?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Not that big but not supposed to go in there?
Speaker 3 (00:05):
No of fans, but you're kind of a girl. My
brother was butt naked in my bed with a girl
and he was so drunk he had passed out without
the journal.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Shut Secrets.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Welcome back to Saucy Secrets. I'm dating and sex colemists.
Danna Hawkin joining me is the wonderful EMC Radio Extraordinaire.
Now strap in, guys, because this show is We're going
next line.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Bloody nervous if I'm honest, like you can't see the
run sheet and I'm not going to tell you because
we want you to keep listening. But I'm nervous.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Yeah, I'm a little bit nervous too. Last week's show
was a little bit serious. You know, we delved in
some doctor things, some medical things. This week is not that.
We are going pure smut this week, and I'm really excited.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Last week was an act. This week is who we
are a couple of dirt.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
This is episode ten and now we can just be
loose and free and tell the most rancors stories and
we are going smut. But first of all, let me
start with my high and low of the week because
I've had quite the week. Okay, this week, I swear
this show is making me date better.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Is it all the good advice that I give you
off the air? Sure?
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Or it could be the don don't laugh. No, I
am not following any of your advice. Okay, but it's
the margarite and as a red cos it's you know,
the divorce lawyers. It's everyone just actual experts. Straight.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah, the more on that you have to do the show,
sadly with the.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Experts are really putting me straight. I've been making good
decisions so this week. The high for this week was
going on the best date. You know, I finally went
on a good one. It was sober. We went for
a lovely walk. He picked me up in his beautiful car.
We went for a walk. We made out on a
bench like teenagers.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
You know.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
It was really cute. I really loved it. So that
was the high of my week. Great date tick. The
low of my week was my brother came over with
his nephews. B No, I love my brother, but my
apartment is designed for a single girl, a girl who
lives by herself, a girl who doesn't have to hide
anything in her apartment. Now, one thing our listeners might
(02:14):
not know is that Juju sends us out some toys
every week, and some we give to listeners, but I
also get to test them myself. So I got to
take home the lah Forsanti this week.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
And if you went searching for toys to play with.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Listen, I had it under my bed like I had
used it ten out of ten highly recommend But I
don't put it away. I just put it under my
dinner and got on with my day. They came running
over and I forget that nephews just run everywhere and
cause bedlam. He ripped in front of my brother, in
front of my sister in law, in front of my mom,
who was also visiting. He ripped up my douner and
(02:50):
he got so excited because it vibrates, so he was
like click click click, and it's so pretty and pink. Anyway,
I'm my vibrator got out into my whole family. So see,
this is what I'm going to call the marry me
sex move.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
You made a bold claim a couple of minutes ago.
This is big. You put a lot of pressure on yourself.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Yeah, I can stand by this. So a few months ago,
I wrote an article for Daily Mail pored use this
marry me sex move if you want to, you know,
stage It was a really fun one to write, but
it was very organic. It came naturally. Now I'm going
to give it to you guys tonight for free, and
I'm not going to give you the PG version. I'm
(03:35):
going to give you the full version of exactly how
to do this.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
So you said a couple of minutes ago, this is
the move, ladies, if you want to take your situationship
to the next level, blokes will marry you in an
instant after trying this.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Yeah, you, They will struggle to get you on their
mind before you tell us this move.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Is this something that you were told about, something you discovered,
or something that you created?
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Okay, So this came about because an ex boyfriend I
had been saying ages ago and who got a bit annoying.
He slid back into my DMS and he's like, let
me just take you out for dinner, like just one
more time. You know, we can be friends. It's totally fine,
Just let me take you out for dinner. I was like, okay.
So we had a few wines and then he explained
to me. He was like, there was this one move
(04:22):
you did that I can't stop thinking about. He's like,
it's messing up all my relationships. I'm trying to have
relationships with everyone else. They just can't do it like you.
And all I think he was like he was like
spilling his heart out and all like thinking was, Oh,
I need to write about this.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yeah, you just somehow. I was like, copyright this and
become rich off it.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
What is this move? Because I need to keep doing it?
Like I like, I thought we had good sex, it
was fine, but I didn't walk away going, oh my god,
that was earth shattering. So he explained it to me,
and I remember the exact night and what I did.
So Mommy, if you're listening, turn off.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Now.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
What we did was we'd been out to dinner. We
came back to my house. I used to have kind
of a chair like this, very similar. If you're on
YouTube you can see what I'm talking about, but like
just a lounge chair. It was quite comfortable. I sat
him in it. I nestled up between his legs. I'm
looking up at him, so I unzipped his pants, got
(05:18):
it out. Now what I did, ladies, is I didn't
break eye contact and I used a lot of saliva,
so I was looking at him the whole time. I
started really slow, and then I got more and more
into it. A lot of saliva, a lot of looking
him in the eye. Actually can't look you in the eye.
I'm telling this story. It's so much easier to write
(05:41):
than it is actually to tell someone. Anyway, he lasted
like thirty seconds because it was very intense, like it
was really into it. Now I'm like, oh yeah, I
was good at that. The secret it's not hard. Ladies
look up at him like he's God. Use lots of saliva,
law and just keep eye contact. So then I knew
I was going to write this eye and I was like,
this doesn't fail. And to be fair, he agrees it
(06:03):
doesn't fail. And I have used it since and listen,
I've had I've become very popular. But I asked other
female followers on my Instagram, all right, girls, I know
what my marry news, sex movies. What is what was
the game changer that made these guys flip a switch?
And I got some really good ones. So one girl
wrote in to me and she said they were like
(06:25):
the middle of sex, having a great time. And she
said all she did, was whispering to his ear, I
want you to ruin me. I mean, that's kind of sexy.
She said that. The next day he sent her flowers.
This is a guy she's been seeing for like six weeks.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Was dead.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Huh, I want you to ruin.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
The Roman like, that's sexy.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
So that was one of them. The next one was
the octopus clench. Sorry, she mounted him, okay, locked dies,
clamped down and didn't move. It kind of sounds like
you know how Mormons do the soaking?
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Sorry?
Speaker 3 (07:04):
What soaking is like when Mormons before they're married, then
all I to have sex. But a guy can put
his dick into a vagina but he can't move it,
and it's just called soaking. It's really greally, But this
is kind of like that. It's called the octopus clanch.
So you just sit there, maintain it and they're just
like inside of you? Are you looking face? It's very
tantric anyway, if you don't want to give that one
(07:25):
a go. The next one was called the soapy so uh.
This go oden and she had they'd already had sex
and they were lying down and she was like, I
didn't come. I want to go again. So she said,
why don't you come into the shower with me and
we'll have a shower, and that was all fine. So
it's basically a Japanese art. So they do it in
(07:46):
Japanese bathhouses, like they're called soap plans, where the woman
washes the man from top to bottom with soap and
she's like really getting in there, making him feel like
a god while she soaps him up. She said she
did that, she tried that on him, and yep, he
was her boyfriend within the week because he just felt
like this god who was getting like, you know, doted on.
(08:09):
And then there's the oldest trick in the book, which
is not for the fainthearted.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Are you blushing? Are you blulushing?
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Even I'm blushing. Men love to be rimmed. They like
a tongue on their butt.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Butt.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
I do know how many guys right into me regularly
saying we love being rimmed. Like women, you need to
pay more attention to our balls and our butt. So listen, ladies,
if you're desperate you want that diamond ring.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
What are you naming your move? Because everything seems to
have a name. The soapy, the octopus, what are you
calling him marry me sex move.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
I think it's the winner. I think it's the best
of them all.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
I'm talking to you, listener, I'm talking to you watcher
on YouTube. This is what I want you to do,
all right. If you're in a situation ship, if you've
got a bloke and you want to take this to
the next level, Yes, you've got to try this marry
me sex move, and we want you to report back.
Give it a crack. I've got to say empty the sack.
And because it rhyme and I thought that's really unprofessional.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Well, I mean you said it now and it works.
And listen, we probably went too far when I was like,
so it's down on my knees. So strap in, because
today's saucy secret might be one of the wildest first
date stories you've ever heard. It starts like any hot
night on the Gold Coast, good chemistry, a few drinks,
(09:32):
things moved to the bedroom, and where it ends up
is very unexpected. Joining us from Bali to tell the
tell in all its messy, hilarious glory is Alicia Davies. Welcome, Alisia, Hi, guys,
how are you? We're good? We're strapped in all right?
What is your saucy secret.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Right.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
So I doubt you guys have ever come across this
one before. But like you said, first date, they went
very well. Obviously ended up in the bedroom. They ended
in the hospital, and that was because I had a
butt plug stuck inside me. You not just to a
point where like I was like gorilla gripping this thing.
(10:17):
It was like all the way inside it went like
disappeared straight.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Up your butt. Butt Yeah, okay, so talk us through. Okay,
So you're getting jiggy with it. You've got this butt
plug in, You're having the best time ever.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Well, it's kind of his fault because he pushed it
in there from the other area, so something kind of yeah,
like so his dick was big, and it's somehow pushed
on it from.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
The other side of the wall and it pushed it inwards.
And then the feeling was like when.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
You take them out, it's like a release of pressure,
and that's what it felt like when it went in.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
So I thought it fell out.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
We are looking around, We're pulling the douner and the
pillows off the bed.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I'm like, how could this thing have gone? We're like underneath,
like looking underneath the bed.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
And then it kind of was a light bulb moment
because I thought, this thing is nowhere, but there is
absolutely no way that it's where I think it is.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
So I've gone into the bathroom and I'm like putting
my fingers in there to try and feel for it,
and I'm like, it's not there. It's not there. So
then he is using his opinions.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
No, no, it's like that Seximist City episode.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
We couldn't find it.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
And then I went in through like my vagina and
then I could feel it through the wall. So then
he's in there trying to like put his fingers around
hooked around the base and is trying to pull it down.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
But you can't just open it from the inside because.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Your heart's already close. Yeah, okay, so then what happens next?
Speaker 4 (12:04):
I tried to poop it out in the shower and
that failed. Then I called my friend and I was
like she's nurse and I was like, holy shit, this
has happened.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Like what do I do?
Speaker 4 (12:17):
And she's just laughing at me, like no, how whatsoever,
and she was like, you need to take like laxatives.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
I was like, no, this is too crazy for me.
I'm too scared.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
For that.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
So we went to the emergency room, and the emergency
people were just like, oh my god, this is so normal,
Like we've seen way crazier than this.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Yeah, no, true, true. I've got a lot of a
lot of my family working medical. This is like a
cute story, but to us it's horrifying. Okay, so then
what happens? So you're in hospital with butt plug stuck
up your butt? Is he still there?
Speaker 2 (12:49):
He's still there. He was with me the whole time.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
So I've had three different like nurses and doctors try and.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Get it out and no luck whatsoever.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
And at this point they're saying, oh, we think we
need to take you into this surgery room and we'll
put you to sleep. You'll just completely relax and we'll'll
be able to do it.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
And was it like a proper oper where do they operate?
Speaker 2 (13:12):
It was like two seconds.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
I think I remember looking at my phone when they
said okay, we're ready to take through. And then when
I woke back up again in the room, it was
like ten minutes later. So they said, we don't need
to put you to sleep proper to sleep. All we
need to do is just give you a little bit
that will make you kind of.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Like doze offeh.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Then we just go in and out and then that
was it. So it took like ten minutes. But the
lady said to me, She's like, oh, do you want
to keep it? And I was like, oh, I can't
ask you to do that, can I?
Speaker 2 (13:40):
And she's like, it's fine, it's fine. They all thought
it was hilarious. And then I was like, okay, sure,
why not? I could sell this, no problem? She said.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
She got it out and she said it was way
too messy. She was washing it and then she thought,
you know what, I don't get paid.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Enough for this, so she threw it out and I said,
fair enough, fair enough.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Lake pharem pervs digging through the bins out the back
of the hospital trying to find this thing so they
can take it as their trophy.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Okay, So then is the guy still around?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Still around?
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Oh my god, are you're married now? Not?
Speaker 2 (14:15):
At the end, No, I think he trauma bonded. And
then you know, it got a bit weird and I
was like, you know, we don't.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
Really need to do this again, and yeah, I think
he trauma bonded. And then I had to kind of
like snap it off so to speak.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Metaphorically.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Now, if anyone wants to find you, where can they
do that?
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Alicia Davis xx is my Instagram.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
Alisha Davis is where you'll find all the really splicy stuff.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Thank you so much for coming on the show. We
appreciate your time.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Guys, we did just hear a story about a woman
who got a butt plugs literally stuck up her mind.
And then I realized I actually have the best story.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
You almost jumped out of your seat.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
I know, I don't believe I forgot this story. So
years and years ago, a family friend is a theater
nurse and she told us a story that involved a
giant glass dialdo, a trip to the emergency room, and
a film crew like you're already in, you're already I
pulled up a seat. I think I was like eighteen
when I heard this story, and it scarred me for life.
So basically what happened was this man came in and
(15:23):
he came in via ambulance because he couldn't sit down
because he had got himself into an unfortunate situation. He
had the biggest giant glass dildo glass, which is petrifying.
We shouldn't be sticking glass up our butts. People.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Why are you pointing to our producer when you say that?
Why did you point to Tyler.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Pointing to the camera, Because there is someone listening right.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Now, noted Glass Stilda user producer Tyler.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Okay, so he's arrived by ambulance. Giant glass steal doo
up is butt. My family member I always said the name.
This family member said it was the one, like they
didn't even know it was possible that they came in
this size. He's screaming. They've got him on like one
of those chairs, racing him to the emergency room. Hephinked us,
so here's another biology lesson. It had contracted, don't and
(16:16):
so the glass dildo dot straight up his butt. They
tried vasselin everything to try and get it out, pulling
it like trying to pull it out.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
It's glass, so you can't pull it too harshly, would
be so careful.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
And the whole time they're thinking if this shard's like
his butt is ruined, like there's no coming back. Tried everything,
couldn't get out, couldn't get out. So the doctor said
to him, We're sorry, this is like we're going to
have to get the scalpel out.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
I thought, you said, this is you for the rest
of your life. Sorry, you'll now be glass butt plug man.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
Don't go, don't go. So they put him out, unlike Aleisure,
which took like ten minutes. No, they had to go
through his stomach. What they had to open his stomach
up like a pregnancy, get the glass dialed out, not
break care like. This was like a serious, serious operation.
But this is a cute part of the story.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
There's no cute part to this story.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
So they get it out, it comes out, they put
it to the side, they sew him back up, and
they're like, you're going to be in hospital for like
two weeks because we've had to cut open all your
internal organs to get this out through your stomach. They
sew him up, they take him back out to recovery.
He's in the room, a camera crew and his wife
(17:28):
turn up. Now the part of the story that I
didn't reveal earlier was that he was supposed to pick
his wife up from the airport.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
She was not a part of the glass NDO, not involved.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
So she gets to the airport, She's like, where's my husband,
Where's my husband? No one can find him. He's been like,
this was like a really long operation. So he's been
missing for twelve hours. No one can find him. She's
got the police involved because she's like, my husband has
gone missing. I can't find him. This was years ago,
I don't know where if you remember the Australian Missing
Person's TV shows and years ago. So the police have
(18:04):
discovered he's at the hospital. They've said to this film
crew come along. The wife's like, yeah, sure, whatever, come along.
I just need to know why he's in hospital. Film crew, wife,
everyone turns up to the hospital. The surgeon goes, you
need to turn off the cameras. We need to take
you into a private room. They have to tell the
wife we're so sorry, but your husband had a giant
(18:25):
class dealers.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
I can't get any law in my seat. Where's the cue?
Part of the story.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
It gets worse. So then the theaters who was telling
this story said that you could hear the wife screaming
down the horse. They've quickly sent the film crew away
because she's like, I don't want you to film this.
She goes into his room. He's woken up from this
big traumatic operation to his wife screaming at him. Because
she didn't even know that was his kink and we
(18:52):
don't kink. Shame, but what an unfortunate incident.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Again, where's the cute part of this story?
Speaker 3 (19:00):
There's no cue potow now MC. The stars have not
aligned in November, and it's not because mercury is in retrograde.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Some crazy full moon or sun is aligning with Venus
or some of that. It's worse mystical shit. Yep, it's worse.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
So, first of all, we have no nut November.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
For those that are not familiar with no nut November.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Okay, So it started back in twenty eleven, and it
was when all these ridiculous articles started going around saying
that if you don't masturbate, you'll have better mental clarity,
you'll work out better at the gym, you won't be
so reliant on porn, which is all great, but can
I just state that an ice bath does the exact
same thing. Okay, So men for thirty days aren't allowed
(19:43):
to nut. Basically they're not allowed to wink.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Now.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Coinciding with that is November, which is for the ladies,
which is a disaster because let me read you out
the Urban Dictionary take on November it's designed for women
to take a vac from meaningful relationships during the month
of November in order to sew one's oats as it were. Now,
(20:07):
I am a big fan of hop vamba.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Hey do what you need to do.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I agree, And do you know why, because I think
we've had ten months of dating properly. We've been ladies.
We've let these ridiculous men take us on the worst
dates of our life. No offense men, but bussy men
were the worst. Two steps.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
I'm a block.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
I wish you so for one month, thirty days, women
are allowed to go nights. Respond to that two am
text saying are you up?
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah? I am.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Go have a wild night of passionate sex with the
guy that you know is not boyfriend material, the guy
that is Peter pen Go enjoy us for thirty days.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Ho it up. It's almost the silly season. Gets silly early,
get silly early.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
But they're not colliding.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Okay, this actually makes sense. One gender is deciding there
the others going zip once. That's very visual for those
listening on the radio.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
And it's not working. So I want to start a
petition to get rid of no nut November. I think
it's so ridiculous, like life is short, we have but
one life. We don't know when we're going to get
hit by a bus. Imagine if it's fifteen days three
that you haven't had a wank. It's true, you'd be
up in heaven or hell with blue balls. Blue balls.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
What's if we just look at another month? What about Sextember.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Where we just all have sex insect?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Why does it need to be November? What about October?
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (21:31):
I like that?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
What about Fanuary? Can I say the last one that
I've written down? Oh?
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Yeah, because that's my birthday and that checks out.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
What about August?
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Yeah, let's get rid of no nut? November? I just
bring in all these months. Maybe this is how we
should be.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Living anywhere, solving problems one show at a time.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
But can I tell you one other thing? It's also November.
And for any ladies out there, I love a mustache.
I love who was that guy from the seven Freddy
Murk magn the Magnum Guy tailor Tom Selleck. Yes, oh
my god, here's my old man crush. I'm obsessed with him.
But it's also November, and I don't know, ladies, if
you've ever had a man with a mustache go down
(22:12):
on you. Don't let that go to waste. We need
to get rid of No, no, not November, bring back
home member. Let's just have a good time. Okay. So
there's a new dating term, another one. We don't have
enough dating terms. We've got bread crumbing, we've got ghosting,
we've got love bombing. Now we've got throning, and throning
(22:35):
is messed up, and we're all going to get a
bit paranoid. Well, we're either going to be sad because
no one is throwning us, or we're going to get
paranoid that we are being Is it?
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Is it? Cause playing in your favorite Game of Thrones characters?
Is that? Is that?
Speaker 3 (22:46):
No? Throning is Well, it's described as dating someone who,
via association, increases your reputation and ego. So it might
be like you're dating someone who's an influencer or they're
rich or they're famous to kind of prop yourself.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
So it's not like dating someone that's way hotter than you,
because you think it's almost like an arrangement for you.
You want something that that person has, and you think
by dating them that elevates you to whatever that might be.
Instagram followers exactly, fancy friends.
Speaker 3 (23:16):
Exactly, and it's definitely out there. I've got friends who
are throning. Right now, we have someone on the line
who is a self admitting throner. They have dated, they
have throwned, and they join us tonight. Welcome to the show, Anonymous.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
Okay, so tell us straight up, what makes you a throner?
Speaker 5 (23:39):
Well, I honestly hadn't really heard the term until recently.
But I'm a photographer, a freelance photographer, and I intentionally
dated one of my ex clients because you had a lot.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Of followers follows.
Speaker 5 (23:54):
I dated it for six months. It was great and
I got a lot out of it.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Okay, talk us through it. So you took photographs of her?
How did this come about?
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (24:03):
Yeah, So I met her at a product launch. She
mentioned in some like when we were chatting that she
was looking for a photographer, and so I gave her
my number and we set up a shoot. And then
after that shoot, she posted some photos and tagged me,
and I got a lot of messages from that, like
(24:26):
messages from potential clients, from hot kicks, like. I got
a lot out of it.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
So you got messages from hot chicks saying can you
take pictures of us?
Speaker 5 (24:35):
So yeah, like can you be a photographer for me?
There wasn't some flirty messages in there too, which was nice.
But then I kind of was like, well, maybe if
I keep seeing this girl, this you know, this influencer,
I might get more followers or my career might kind
of continue to boom. So I sent her a message
being like, hey, do you want to keep doing shoots?
(24:57):
And we kind of started dating casually, But to be honest,
I don't think I was ever like in love with
her or even had any feelings.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
And I'm assuming that that she clearly had no idea
that you were doing this for strategic purposes as opposed
to romantic purposes. She's like, oh, this guy's into me.
This is great, We're in a relationship. You're like, no, no,
this is almost a business.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
I'm for followers.
Speaker 5 (25:22):
Yeah, for the first six months or so. But the
Indian she did kind of dumb me because she thought
that I was using her. Look she was. She was
badly nice and lovely and we got long. But what
I liked more was kind of the events I got
to go do and and the people I got to
hang around and what it did for my career.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
But you're kind of a dick.
Speaker 5 (25:43):
Well you got a hustle.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Wow, okay, So how did you get a bone with her?
Because this is what I wonder about.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
How did you get a bonus?
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Because when I can't stand a guy, I go as
dry as a desert. There is no you ain't getting
anywhere near it. As soon as you give me the ick,
it is like dry as a dog. How did you
have sex? How did you make this girl think you
were still into her or into her at all? For
six months?
Speaker 5 (26:13):
I'm going to sound like it hot, still fun.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
You didn't hate the person, so it wasn't like you
hated being around here, Like she's hot, she's cool.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
And would you do it again? Like was all of
this worth it?
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (26:29):
Absolutely? It was like in the sixth to eight months,
I got like maybe twenty five thousand followers.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
If she hadn't have cottoned on to you, and if
she hadn't have pulled the plug, would you have stayed
in this relationship? Would you have remained on the throne
and just gone on for as long as you possibly
could because you were getting so much fun of a
better term on the side from this situation.
Speaker 5 (26:54):
Yeah, I reckon I would have gone on for at
least another maybe six months, but I don't know how
many like family Christmas, I could have done like taking
it at.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Some point, Well, you just have to go to hell.
But thank you so much for calling us.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
We appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
I don't normally like to judgement you're you're the worst.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
I'm actually surprised that you are still here after I
claimed that you were a glass dildo user earlier in
the show.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
Every week, apparably last week, I had heard pie, Yeah,
we are forgetting that. You did also tell us she
had I'm so sorry, and you've also told we also
did tell you that we think you fart in front
of that trying to unt. But you have really delivered
this week. Explain to us what you've set us.
Speaker 6 (27:45):
Up right, So I've explored the realms of the internet
this week to bring you, guys the most embarrassing sex
confession and why I had fun at home just looking
at I was like.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
This would be why not?
Speaker 6 (27:57):
I was like, wait, I have a ready to show
worked for that really benefits.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
This is actually work and these aren't these aren't your
personal experiences just double checking before we get into them.
Speaker 6 (28:06):
No, me, my mom, my dad?
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Okay, great, Okay, well then who's who's who? All right?
So basically we're just going to go back and forth
with these embarrassing sex confessions that you have found on the.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Internet, and we haven't read them yet. Now we have,
we're raw dogging this whole segment.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Not comfortable with you using raw dogging in the context.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
That you did go first one okay, first embarrassing sex confession.
I accidentally weed on an ex boyfriend when I was
in a weird position and I told him, I asked, squirted.
I have said this forever. Squirting isn't real. It's youurin Asian. Okay, continue,
I'm not sure that's even a real thing that ladies
actually do, but he believed it. I was so embarrassed.
(28:46):
There was we everywhere, to the point the sheets were damp.
At least he could feel proud when when.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
You he walked away thinking that he's a legend. She
walked away horrified. Not the golden shower anyone was hoping for.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Every time I say to people, you're not squirting, it's Eurinesian.
My DMS fire up with people going it is squirting,
it is squirting, but science has proven just a piss.
It's just a piss, all right.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Me and my husband were going at it when Mum
turned up at the house unannounced. All our clothes were
in a different room and we were both stuck in
the living room. My husband ended up having to run
across the garden to fetch clothes for the both of
us while I kept telling Mum, I'll be another minute.
We said we were playing hide and seek, and she
never showed up unannounced again after. That still makes me
(29:34):
cringe to this day.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
I mean they were hiding something.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
I know for a fact. The producer Taylor has been
caught in a similar situation like this by your parents.
Speaker 6 (29:43):
My brother was brother. Yeah, he came home earlier than usual.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Go on what happened.
Speaker 6 (29:48):
What happened my husband now, But back then we're absolutely not.
We're in the back room and we thought we were alone.
And then my brother came home drunk from the races
and goes, God, he was drunk, and goes, listen, if
you give me a lift down to North which is
incredible nightclub.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
I won't tell anyone.
Speaker 6 (30:03):
Next day, we're all having breakfast as a family blackmail
jew and he goes, oh, Mom, Dad, guess what I
saw Taylor doing last night? And then my mom goes, well,
at least someone in this house is getting.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
I mean, yeah, yeah for openness and yeah for having sex.
I would die. I once walked in on my brother.
He was fast asleep with a girl in my bed
with a girl, and he was so drunk he had
passed out without the don or on. Still, yeah, you
need to say triggering memories.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Do you prefer that though, than walking in on your
sister going hammer and tong with a boyfriend? Next?
Speaker 3 (30:35):
Next confession no family members ever. Akay met a guy
at a pub. We went back to his and ended
up having a great time involving some backdoor action? Am
I the only one not doing backdoor action?
Speaker 1 (30:47):
What animals talk on the show?
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Talk? Afterwards? Oh god, oh this makes me feel sick. Afterwards,
I noticed there was quite a strong smell in the room,
and I thought, hm, maybe he is a messy guy.
I turned the lights on and all I, oh god,
all I could see was my poo on his bed sheets.
(31:12):
I diverted his attention, turn the lights off again, and
we went to sleep. There would be no sleeping, for
they slept in her sheet. She goes, I left early
in the morning, before the morning sun shed light on
my poo. Safe to say, I never heard back from him. Girl, girl,
I would get out a mop and bucket. I would
(31:32):
start a fire in the backyard. I would throw those
bed sheets. Don't leave it then, I love that.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Aw let's go to sleep, And they slept in her shit.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
This is disgusting, tailor, you were, well, you've wented that much.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Fun with this segment your internet so I'm surprised the
police haven't turned up to your place to investigate your
Internet search history.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
Do you know what anyone who's just had a really traumatic,
embarrassing bedroom experience is like, Oh, I am oh, I
am fine. Okay, shall we do one?
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Please? I mean no, but yes.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
Okay, let's do this one. It was my eighteenth birthday.
It was about twelve thirty AM, and my girlfriend and
I were lying on the couch watching a movie cute.
My family had gone to bed earlier, and my girlfriend
turned her head and said, I'm going to give you
your birthday present now. We started going at it on
the couch while spooning under a blanket. I've done this. Sorry,
(32:27):
not too much motion, just some good grinding. But I
was bulls deep in her. The light suddenly turned on.
I see my mother, father, and sister carrying a birthday cake,
walking into the room or singing Happy Birthday while I
am bulls deep in my girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
It's like a scene from American Ply or one of
those early naughties rom com fee.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
Oh my god, it's like the whole world just stops.
Your whole world would just stop.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Look, there is a way, but there is a way
for you to avoid having an awkward sex encounter or
an embarrassing sexual story like this feature on a future
episode of Source of Secrets. That's toditch your partner all
together and pick up one of the fantastic la pisantes
from frenchsheet thanks to our good friends at Juju. That's
called a segue, boys and girls.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
I enjoyed that segue, and I agree, and I tried
this one this week, And if you were listening to
the start of this show, you'll know that actually I
had my own embarrassing bedroom experience because my nephew waved
it around exactly. But it's just so pretty and pink
and it's fun and it's got ten different vibrations. What
more could you want?
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Pocket size with all a La power, La Passante's strong
motor targets clitteral Bliss, Latex and Phalate. Free shop at
juju joujou dot com dot au. But if you would
like one for free kiss dot com do au, jump
on there now and you could win one of these
bad boys. And on that note, I am going to
(33:51):
need a cold shower, possibly a bath impure detto after
the show tonight. It has been a roller coaster ride.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
It's been the wildest one yet. But honestly, guy, try
the marry Me sex move. Let us know how you
go and listen. If you get engaged, I want to
go to the wedding.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Grab the podcast, like subscribe, share it with your friends,
maybe not your parents, given what we've talked about on
the show. Hopefully we'll be back next week.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
Let's if we get canceled, Oh boy bye,
How big was this butt plug?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Not that big but not supposed to go in there?
Speaker 3 (00:05):
No of fans, but you're kind of a girl. My
brother was butt naked in my bed with a girl
and he was so drunk he had passed out without
the journal.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Shut Secrets.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Welcome back to Saucy Secrets. I'm dating and sex colemists.
Danna Hawkin joining me is the wonderful EMC Radio Extraordinaire.
Now strap in, guys, because this show is We're going
next line.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Bloody nervous if I'm honest, like you can't see the
run sheet and I'm not going to tell you because
we want you to keep listening. But I'm nervous.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Yeah, I'm a little bit nervous too. Last week's show
was a little bit serious. You know, we delved in
some doctor things, some medical things. This week is not that.
We are going pure smut this week, and I'm really excited.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Last week was an act. This week is who we
are a couple of dirt.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
This is episode ten and now we can just be
loose and free and tell the most rancors stories and
we are going smut. But first of all, let me
start with my high and low of the week because
I've had quite the week. Okay, this week, I swear
this show is making me date better.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Is it all the good advice that I give you
off the air? Sure?
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Or it could be the don don't laugh. No, I
am not following any of your advice. Okay, but it's
the margarite and as a red cos it's you know,
the divorce lawyers. It's everyone just actual experts. Straight.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah, the more on that you have to do the show,
sadly with the.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Experts are really putting me straight. I've been making good
decisions so this week. The high for this week was
going on the best date. You know, I finally went
on a good one. It was sober. We went for
a lovely walk. He picked me up in his beautiful car.
We went for a walk. We made out on a
bench like teenagers.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
You know.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
It was really cute. I really loved it. So that
was the high of my week. Great date tick. The
low of my week was my brother came over with
his nephews. B No, I love my brother, but my
apartment is designed for a single girl, a girl who
lives by herself, a girl who doesn't have to hide
anything in her apartment. Now, one thing our listeners might
(02:14):
not know is that Juju sends us out some toys
every week, and some we give to listeners, but I
also get to test them myself. So I got to
take home the lah Forsanti this week.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
And if you went searching for toys to play with.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Listen, I had it under my bed like I had
used it ten out of ten highly recommend But I
don't put it away. I just put it under my
dinner and got on with my day. They came running
over and I forget that nephews just run everywhere and
cause bedlam. He ripped in front of my brother, in
front of my sister in law, in front of my mom,
who was also visiting. He ripped up my douner and
(02:50):
he got so excited because it vibrates, so he was
like click click click, and it's so pretty and pink. Anyway,
I'm my vibrator got out into my whole family. So see,
this is what I'm going to call the marry me
sex move.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
You made a bold claim a couple of minutes ago.
This is big. You put a lot of pressure on yourself.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Yeah, I can stand by this. So a few months ago,
I wrote an article for Daily Mail pored use this
marry me sex move if you want to, you know,
stage It was a really fun one to write, but
it was very organic. It came naturally. Now I'm going
to give it to you guys tonight for free, and
I'm not going to give you the PG version. I'm
(03:35):
going to give you the full version of exactly how
to do this.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
So you said a couple of minutes ago, this is
the move, ladies, if you want to take your situationship
to the next level, blokes will marry you in an
instant after trying this.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Yeah, you, They will struggle to get you on their
mind before you tell us this move.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Is this something that you were told about, something you discovered,
or something that you created?
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Okay, So this came about because an ex boyfriend I
had been saying ages ago and who got a bit annoying.
He slid back into my DMS and he's like, let
me just take you out for dinner, like just one
more time. You know, we can be friends. It's totally fine,
Just let me take you out for dinner. I was like, okay.
So we had a few wines and then he explained
to me. He was like, there was this one move
(04:22):
you did that I can't stop thinking about. He's like,
it's messing up all my relationships. I'm trying to have
relationships with everyone else. They just can't do it like you.
And all I think he was like he was like
spilling his heart out and all like thinking was, Oh,
I need to write about this.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yeah, you just somehow. I was like, copyright this and
become rich off it.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
What is this move? Because I need to keep doing it?
Like I like, I thought we had good sex, it
was fine, but I didn't walk away going, oh my god,
that was earth shattering. So he explained it to me,
and I remember the exact night and what I did.
So Mommy, if you're listening, turn off.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Now.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
What we did was we'd been out to dinner. We
came back to my house. I used to have kind
of a chair like this, very similar. If you're on
YouTube you can see what I'm talking about, but like
just a lounge chair. It was quite comfortable. I sat
him in it. I nestled up between his legs. I'm
looking up at him, so I unzipped his pants, got
(05:18):
it out. Now what I did, ladies, is I didn't
break eye contact and I used a lot of saliva,
so I was looking at him the whole time. I
started really slow, and then I got more and more
into it. A lot of saliva, a lot of looking
him in the eye. Actually can't look you in the eye.
I'm telling this story. It's so much easier to write
(05:41):
than it is actually to tell someone. Anyway, he lasted
like thirty seconds because it was very intense, like it
was really into it. Now I'm like, oh yeah, I
was good at that. The secret it's not hard. Ladies
look up at him like he's God. Use lots of saliva,
law and just keep eye contact. So then I knew
I was going to write this eye and I was like,
this doesn't fail. And to be fair, he agrees it
(06:03):
doesn't fail. And I have used it since and listen,
I've had I've become very popular. But I asked other
female followers on my Instagram, all right, girls, I know
what my marry news, sex movies. What is what was
the game changer that made these guys flip a switch?
And I got some really good ones. So one girl
wrote in to me and she said they were like
(06:25):
the middle of sex, having a great time. And she
said all she did, was whispering to his ear, I
want you to ruin me. I mean, that's kind of sexy.
She said that. The next day he sent her flowers.
This is a guy she's been seeing for like six weeks.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Was dead.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Huh, I want you to ruin.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
The Roman like, that's sexy.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
So that was one of them. The next one was
the octopus clench. Sorry, she mounted him, okay, locked dies,
clamped down and didn't move. It kind of sounds like
you know how Mormons do the soaking?
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Sorry?
Speaker 3 (07:04):
What soaking is like when Mormons before they're married, then
all I to have sex. But a guy can put
his dick into a vagina but he can't move it,
and it's just called soaking. It's really greally, But this
is kind of like that. It's called the octopus clanch.
So you just sit there, maintain it and they're just
like inside of you? Are you looking face? It's very
tantric anyway, if you don't want to give that one
(07:25):
a go. The next one was called the soapy so uh.
This go oden and she had they'd already had sex
and they were lying down and she was like, I
didn't come. I want to go again. So she said,
why don't you come into the shower with me and
we'll have a shower, and that was all fine. So
it's basically a Japanese art. So they do it in
(07:46):
Japanese bathhouses, like they're called soap plans, where the woman
washes the man from top to bottom with soap and
she's like really getting in there, making him feel like
a god while she soaps him up. She said she
did that, she tried that on him, and yep, he
was her boyfriend within the week because he just felt
like this god who was getting like, you know, doted on.
(08:09):
And then there's the oldest trick in the book, which
is not for the fainthearted.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Are you blushing? Are you blulushing?
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Even I'm blushing. Men love to be rimmed. They like
a tongue on their butt.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Butt.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
I do know how many guys right into me regularly
saying we love being rimmed. Like women, you need to
pay more attention to our balls and our butt. So listen, ladies,
if you're desperate you want that diamond ring.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
What are you naming your move? Because everything seems to
have a name. The soapy, the octopus, what are you
calling him marry me sex move.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
I think it's the winner. I think it's the best
of them all.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
I'm talking to you, listener, I'm talking to you watcher
on YouTube. This is what I want you to do,
all right. If you're in a situation ship, if you've
got a bloke and you want to take this to
the next level, Yes, you've got to try this marry
me sex move, and we want you to report back.
Give it a crack. I've got to say empty the sack.
And because it rhyme and I thought that's really unprofessional.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Well, I mean you said it now and it works.
And listen, we probably went too far when I was like,
so it's down on my knees. So strap in, because
today's saucy secret might be one of the wildest first
date stories you've ever heard. It starts like any hot
night on the Gold Coast, good chemistry, a few drinks,
(09:32):
things moved to the bedroom, and where it ends up
is very unexpected. Joining us from Bali to tell the
tell in all its messy, hilarious glory is Alicia Davies. Welcome, Alisia, Hi, guys,
how are you? We're good? We're strapped in all right?
What is your saucy secret.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Right.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
So I doubt you guys have ever come across this
one before. But like you said, first date, they went
very well. Obviously ended up in the bedroom. They ended
in the hospital, and that was because I had a
butt plug stuck inside me. You not just to a
point where like I was like gorilla gripping this thing.
(10:17):
It was like all the way inside it went like
disappeared straight.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Up your butt. Butt Yeah, okay, so talk us through. Okay,
So you're getting jiggy with it. You've got this butt
plug in, You're having the best time ever.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Well, it's kind of his fault because he pushed it
in there from the other area, so something kind of yeah,
like so his dick was big, and it's somehow pushed
on it from.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
The other side of the wall and it pushed it inwards.
And then the feeling was like when.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
You take them out, it's like a release of pressure,
and that's what it felt like when it went in.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
So I thought it fell out.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
We are looking around, We're pulling the douner and the
pillows off the bed.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I'm like, how could this thing have gone? We're like underneath,
like looking underneath the bed.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
And then it kind of was a light bulb moment
because I thought, this thing is nowhere, but there is
absolutely no way that it's where I think it is.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
So I've gone into the bathroom and I'm like putting
my fingers in there to try and feel for it,
and I'm like, it's not there. It's not there. So
then he is using his opinions.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
No, no, it's like that Seximist City episode.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
We couldn't find it.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
And then I went in through like my vagina and
then I could feel it through the wall. So then
he's in there trying to like put his fingers around
hooked around the base and is trying to pull it down.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
But you can't just open it from the inside because.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Your heart's already close. Yeah, okay, so then what happens next?
Speaker 4 (12:04):
I tried to poop it out in the shower and
that failed. Then I called my friend and I was
like she's nurse and I was like, holy shit, this
has happened.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Like what do I do?
Speaker 4 (12:17):
And she's just laughing at me, like no, how whatsoever,
and she was like, you need to take like laxatives.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
I was like, no, this is too crazy for me.
I'm too scared.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
For that.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
So we went to the emergency room, and the emergency
people were just like, oh my god, this is so normal,
Like we've seen way crazier than this.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Yeah, no, true, true. I've got a lot of a
lot of my family working medical. This is like a
cute story, but to us it's horrifying. Okay, so then
what happens? So you're in hospital with butt plug stuck
up your butt? Is he still there?
Speaker 2 (12:49):
He's still there. He was with me the whole time.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
So I've had three different like nurses and doctors try and.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Get it out and no luck whatsoever.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
And at this point they're saying, oh, we think we
need to take you into this surgery room and we'll
put you to sleep. You'll just completely relax and we'll'll
be able to do it.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
And was it like a proper oper where do they operate?
Speaker 2 (13:12):
It was like two seconds.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
I think I remember looking at my phone when they
said okay, we're ready to take through. And then when
I woke back up again in the room, it was
like ten minutes later. So they said, we don't need
to put you to sleep proper to sleep. All we
need to do is just give you a little bit
that will make you kind of.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Like doze offeh.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Then we just go in and out and then that
was it. So it took like ten minutes. But the
lady said to me, She's like, oh, do you want
to keep it? And I was like, oh, I can't
ask you to do that, can I?
Speaker 2 (13:40):
And she's like, it's fine, it's fine. They all thought
it was hilarious. And then I was like, okay, sure,
why not? I could sell this, no problem? She said.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
She got it out and she said it was way
too messy. She was washing it and then she thought,
you know what, I don't get paid.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Enough for this, so she threw it out and I said,
fair enough, fair enough.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Lake pharem pervs digging through the bins out the back
of the hospital trying to find this thing so they
can take it as their trophy.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Okay, So then is the guy still around?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Still around?
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Oh my god, are you're married now? Not?
Speaker 2 (14:15):
At the end, No, I think he trauma bonded. And
then you know, it got a bit weird and I
was like, you know, we don't.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
Really need to do this again, and yeah, I think
he trauma bonded. And then I had to kind of
like snap it off so to speak.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Metaphorically.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Now, if anyone wants to find you, where can they
do that?
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Alicia Davis xx is my Instagram.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
Alisha Davis is where you'll find all the really splicy stuff.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Thank you so much for coming on the show. We
appreciate your time.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Guys, we did just hear a story about a woman
who got a butt plugs literally stuck up her mind.
And then I realized I actually have the best story.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
You almost jumped out of your seat.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
I know, I don't believe I forgot this story. So
years and years ago, a family friend is a theater
nurse and she told us a story that involved a
giant glass dialdo, a trip to the emergency room, and
a film crew like you're already in, you're already I
pulled up a seat. I think I was like eighteen
when I heard this story, and it scarred me for life.
So basically what happened was this man came in and
(15:23):
he came in via ambulance because he couldn't sit down
because he had got himself into an unfortunate situation. He
had the biggest giant glass dildo glass, which is petrifying.
We shouldn't be sticking glass up our butts. People.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Why are you pointing to our producer when you say that?
Why did you point to Tyler.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Pointing to the camera, Because there is someone listening right.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Now, noted Glass Stilda user producer Tyler.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Okay, so he's arrived by ambulance. Giant glass steal doo
up is butt. My family member I always said the name.
This family member said it was the one, like they
didn't even know it was possible that they came in
this size. He's screaming. They've got him on like one
of those chairs, racing him to the emergency room. Hephinked us,
so here's another biology lesson. It had contracted, don't and
(16:16):
so the glass dildo dot straight up his butt. They
tried vasselin everything to try and get it out, pulling
it like trying to pull it out.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
It's glass, so you can't pull it too harshly, would
be so careful.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
And the whole time they're thinking if this shard's like
his butt is ruined, like there's no coming back. Tried everything,
couldn't get out, couldn't get out. So the doctor said
to him, We're sorry, this is like we're going to
have to get the scalpel out.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
I thought, you said, this is you for the rest
of your life. Sorry, you'll now be glass butt plug man.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
Don't go, don't go. So they put him out, unlike Aleisure,
which took like ten minutes. No, they had to go
through his stomach. What they had to open his stomach
up like a pregnancy, get the glass dialed out, not
break care like. This was like a serious, serious operation.
But this is a cute part of the story.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
There's no cute part to this story.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
So they get it out, it comes out, they put
it to the side, they sew him back up, and
they're like, you're going to be in hospital for like
two weeks because we've had to cut open all your
internal organs to get this out through your stomach. They
sew him up, they take him back out to recovery.
He's in the room, a camera crew and his wife
(17:28):
turn up. Now the part of the story that I
didn't reveal earlier was that he was supposed to pick
his wife up from the airport.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
She was not a part of the glass NDO, not involved.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
So she gets to the airport, She's like, where's my husband,
Where's my husband? No one can find him. He's been like,
this was like a really long operation. So he's been
missing for twelve hours. No one can find him. She's
got the police involved because she's like, my husband has
gone missing. I can't find him. This was years ago,
I don't know where if you remember the Australian Missing
Person's TV shows and years ago. So the police have
(18:04):
discovered he's at the hospital. They've said to this film
crew come along. The wife's like, yeah, sure, whatever, come along.
I just need to know why he's in hospital. Film crew, wife,
everyone turns up to the hospital. The surgeon goes, you
need to turn off the cameras. We need to take
you into a private room. They have to tell the
wife we're so sorry, but your husband had a giant
(18:25):
class dealers.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
I can't get any law in my seat. Where's the cue?
Part of the story.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
It gets worse. So then the theaters who was telling
this story said that you could hear the wife screaming
down the horse. They've quickly sent the film crew away
because she's like, I don't want you to film this.
She goes into his room. He's woken up from this
big traumatic operation to his wife screaming at him. Because
she didn't even know that was his kink and we
(18:52):
don't kink. Shame, but what an unfortunate incident.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Again, where's the cute part of this story?
Speaker 3 (19:00):
There's no cue potow now MC. The stars have not
aligned in November, and it's not because mercury is in retrograde.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Some crazy full moon or sun is aligning with Venus
or some of that. It's worse mystical shit. Yep, it's worse.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
So, first of all, we have no nut November.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
For those that are not familiar with no nut November.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Okay, So it started back in twenty eleven, and it
was when all these ridiculous articles started going around saying
that if you don't masturbate, you'll have better mental clarity,
you'll work out better at the gym, you won't be
so reliant on porn, which is all great, but can
I just state that an ice bath does the exact
same thing. Okay, So men for thirty days aren't allowed
(19:43):
to nut. Basically they're not allowed to wink.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Now.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Coinciding with that is November, which is for the ladies,
which is a disaster because let me read you out
the Urban Dictionary take on November it's designed for women
to take a vac from meaningful relationships during the month
of November in order to sew one's oats as it were. Now,
(20:07):
I am a big fan of hop vamba.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Hey do what you need to do.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I agree, And do you know why, because I think
we've had ten months of dating properly. We've been ladies.
We've let these ridiculous men take us on the worst
dates of our life. No offense men, but bussy men
were the worst. Two steps.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
I'm a block.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
I wish you so for one month, thirty days, women
are allowed to go nights. Respond to that two am
text saying are you up?
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah? I am.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Go have a wild night of passionate sex with the
guy that you know is not boyfriend material, the guy
that is Peter pen Go enjoy us for thirty days.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Ho it up. It's almost the silly season. Gets silly early,
get silly early.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
But they're not colliding.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Okay, this actually makes sense. One gender is deciding there
the others going zip once. That's very visual for those
listening on the radio.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
And it's not working. So I want to start a
petition to get rid of no nut November. I think
it's so ridiculous, like life is short, we have but
one life. We don't know when we're going to get
hit by a bus. Imagine if it's fifteen days three
that you haven't had a wank. It's true, you'd be
up in heaven or hell with blue balls. Blue balls.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
What's if we just look at another month? What about Sextember.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Where we just all have sex insect?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Why does it need to be November? What about October?
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (21:31):
I like that?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
What about Fanuary? Can I say the last one that
I've written down? Oh?
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Yeah, because that's my birthday and that checks out.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
What about August?
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Yeah, let's get rid of no nut? November? I just
bring in all these months. Maybe this is how we
should be.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Living anywhere, solving problems one show at a time.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
But can I tell you one other thing? It's also November.
And for any ladies out there, I love a mustache.
I love who was that guy from the seven Freddy
Murk magn the Magnum Guy tailor Tom Selleck. Yes, oh
my god, here's my old man crush. I'm obsessed with him.
But it's also November, and I don't know, ladies, if
you've ever had a man with a mustache go down
(22:12):
on you. Don't let that go to waste. We need
to get rid of No, no, not November, bring back
home member. Let's just have a good time. Okay. So
there's a new dating term, another one. We don't have
enough dating terms. We've got bread crumbing, we've got ghosting,
we've got love bombing. Now we've got throning, and throning
(22:35):
is messed up, and we're all going to get a
bit paranoid. Well, we're either going to be sad because
no one is throwning us, or we're going to get
paranoid that we are being Is it?
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Is it? Cause playing in your favorite Game of Thrones characters?
Is that? Is that?
Speaker 3 (22:46):
No? Throning is Well, it's described as dating someone who,
via association, increases your reputation and ego. So it might
be like you're dating someone who's an influencer or they're
rich or they're famous to kind of prop yourself.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
So it's not like dating someone that's way hotter than you,
because you think it's almost like an arrangement for you.
You want something that that person has, and you think
by dating them that elevates you to whatever that might be.
Instagram followers exactly, fancy friends.
Speaker 3 (23:16):
Exactly, and it's definitely out there. I've got friends who
are throning. Right now, we have someone on the line
who is a self admitting throner. They have dated, they
have throwned, and they join us tonight. Welcome to the show, Anonymous.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
Okay, so tell us straight up, what makes you a throner?
Speaker 5 (23:39):
Well, I honestly hadn't really heard the term until recently.
But I'm a photographer, a freelance photographer, and I intentionally
dated one of my ex clients because you had a lot.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Of followers follows.
Speaker 5 (23:54):
I dated it for six months. It was great and
I got a lot out of it.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Okay, talk us through it. So you took photographs of her?
How did this come about?
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (24:03):
Yeah, So I met her at a product launch. She
mentioned in some like when we were chatting that she
was looking for a photographer, and so I gave her
my number and we set up a shoot. And then
after that shoot, she posted some photos and tagged me,
and I got a lot of messages from that, like
(24:26):
messages from potential clients, from hot kicks, like. I got
a lot out of it.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
So you got messages from hot chicks saying can you
take pictures of us?
Speaker 5 (24:35):
So yeah, like can you be a photographer for me?
There wasn't some flirty messages in there too, which was nice.
But then I kind of was like, well, maybe if
I keep seeing this girl, this you know, this influencer,
I might get more followers or my career might kind
of continue to boom. So I sent her a message
being like, hey, do you want to keep doing shoots?
(24:57):
And we kind of started dating casually, But to be honest,
I don't think I was ever like in love with
her or even had any feelings.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
And I'm assuming that that she clearly had no idea
that you were doing this for strategic purposes as opposed
to romantic purposes. She's like, oh, this guy's into me.
This is great, We're in a relationship. You're like, no, no,
this is almost a business.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
I'm for followers.
Speaker 5 (25:22):
Yeah, for the first six months or so. But the
Indian she did kind of dumb me because she thought
that I was using her. Look she was. She was
badly nice and lovely and we got long. But what
I liked more was kind of the events I got
to go do and and the people I got to
hang around and what it did for my career.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
But you're kind of a dick.
Speaker 5 (25:43):
Well you got a hustle.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Wow, okay, So how did you get a bone with her?
Because this is what I wonder about.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
How did you get a bonus?
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Because when I can't stand a guy, I go as
dry as a desert. There is no you ain't getting
anywhere near it. As soon as you give me the ick,
it is like dry as a dog. How did you
have sex? How did you make this girl think you
were still into her or into her at all? For
six months?
Speaker 5 (26:13):
I'm going to sound like it hot, still fun.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
You didn't hate the person, so it wasn't like you
hated being around here, Like she's hot, she's cool.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
And would you do it again? Like was all of
this worth it?
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (26:29):
Absolutely? It was like in the sixth to eight months,
I got like maybe twenty five thousand followers.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
If she hadn't have cottoned on to you, and if
she hadn't have pulled the plug, would you have stayed
in this relationship? Would you have remained on the throne
and just gone on for as long as you possibly
could because you were getting so much fun of a
better term on the side from this situation.
Speaker 5 (26:54):
Yeah, I reckon I would have gone on for at
least another maybe six months, but I don't know how
many like family Christmas, I could have done like taking
it at.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Some point, Well, you just have to go to hell.
But thank you so much for calling us.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
We appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
I don't normally like to judgement you're you're the worst.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
I'm actually surprised that you are still here after I
claimed that you were a glass dildo user earlier in
the show.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
Every week, apparably last week, I had heard pie, Yeah,
we are forgetting that. You did also tell us she
had I'm so sorry, and you've also told we also
did tell you that we think you fart in front
of that trying to unt. But you have really delivered
this week. Explain to us what you've set us.
Speaker 6 (27:45):
Up right, So I've explored the realms of the internet
this week to bring you, guys the most embarrassing sex
confession and why I had fun at home just looking
at I was like.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
This would be why not?
Speaker 6 (27:57):
I was like, wait, I have a ready to show
worked for that really benefits.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
This is actually work and these aren't these aren't your
personal experiences just double checking before we get into them.
Speaker 6 (28:06):
No, me, my mom, my dad?
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Okay, great, Okay, well then who's who's who? All right?
So basically we're just going to go back and forth
with these embarrassing sex confessions that you have found on the.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Internet, and we haven't read them yet. Now we have,
we're raw dogging this whole segment.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Not comfortable with you using raw dogging in the context.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
That you did go first one okay, first embarrassing sex confession.
I accidentally weed on an ex boyfriend when I was
in a weird position and I told him, I asked, squirted.
I have said this forever. Squirting isn't real. It's youurin Asian. Okay, continue,
I'm not sure that's even a real thing that ladies
actually do, but he believed it. I was so embarrassed.
(28:46):
There was we everywhere, to the point the sheets were damp.
At least he could feel proud when when.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
You he walked away thinking that he's a legend. She
walked away horrified. Not the golden shower anyone was hoping for.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Every time I say to people, you're not squirting, it's Eurinesian.
My DMS fire up with people going it is squirting,
it is squirting, but science has proven just a piss.
It's just a piss, all right.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Me and my husband were going at it when Mum
turned up at the house unannounced. All our clothes were
in a different room and we were both stuck in
the living room. My husband ended up having to run
across the garden to fetch clothes for the both of
us while I kept telling Mum, I'll be another minute.
We said we were playing hide and seek, and she
never showed up unannounced again after. That still makes me
(29:34):
cringe to this day.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
I mean they were hiding something.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
I know for a fact. The producer Taylor has been
caught in a similar situation like this by your parents.
Speaker 6 (29:43):
My brother was brother. Yeah, he came home earlier than usual.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Go on what happened.
Speaker 6 (29:48):
What happened my husband now, But back then we're absolutely not.
We're in the back room and we thought we were alone.
And then my brother came home drunk from the races
and goes, God, he was drunk, and goes, listen, if
you give me a lift down to North which is
incredible nightclub.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
I won't tell anyone.
Speaker 6 (30:03):
Next day, we're all having breakfast as a family blackmail
jew and he goes, oh, Mom, Dad, guess what I
saw Taylor doing last night? And then my mom goes, well,
at least someone in this house is getting.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
I mean, yeah, yeah for openness and yeah for having sex.
I would die. I once walked in on my brother.
He was fast asleep with a girl in my bed
with a girl, and he was so drunk he had
passed out without the don or on. Still, yeah, you
need to say triggering memories.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Do you prefer that though, than walking in on your
sister going hammer and tong with a boyfriend? Next?
Speaker 3 (30:35):
Next confession no family members ever. Akay met a guy
at a pub. We went back to his and ended
up having a great time involving some backdoor action? Am
I the only one not doing backdoor action?
Speaker 1 (30:47):
What animals talk on the show?
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Talk? Afterwards? Oh god, oh this makes me feel sick. Afterwards,
I noticed there was quite a strong smell in the room,
and I thought, hm, maybe he is a messy guy.
I turned the lights on and all I, oh god,
all I could see was my poo on his bed sheets.
(31:12):
I diverted his attention, turn the lights off again, and
we went to sleep. There would be no sleeping, for
they slept in her sheet. She goes, I left early
in the morning, before the morning sun shed light on
my poo. Safe to say, I never heard back from him. Girl, girl,
I would get out a mop and bucket. I would
(31:32):
start a fire in the backyard. I would throw those
bed sheets. Don't leave it then, I love that.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Aw let's go to sleep, And they slept in her shit.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
This is disgusting, tailor, you were, well, you've wented that much.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Fun with this segment your internet so I'm surprised the
police haven't turned up to your place to investigate your
Internet search history.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
Do you know what anyone who's just had a really traumatic,
embarrassing bedroom experience is like, Oh, I am oh, I
am fine. Okay, shall we do one?
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Please? I mean no, but yes.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
Okay, let's do this one. It was my eighteenth birthday.
It was about twelve thirty AM, and my girlfriend and
I were lying on the couch watching a movie cute.
My family had gone to bed earlier, and my girlfriend
turned her head and said, I'm going to give you
your birthday present now. We started going at it on
the couch while spooning under a blanket. I've done this. Sorry,
(32:27):
not too much motion, just some good grinding. But I
was bulls deep in her. The light suddenly turned on.
I see my mother, father, and sister carrying a birthday cake,
walking into the room or singing Happy Birthday while I
am bulls deep in my girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
It's like a scene from American Ply or one of
those early naughties rom com fee.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
Oh my god, it's like the whole world just stops.
Your whole world would just stop.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Look, there is a way, but there is a way
for you to avoid having an awkward sex encounter or
an embarrassing sexual story like this feature on a future
episode of Source of Secrets. That's toditch your partner all
together and pick up one of the fantastic la pisantes
from frenchsheet thanks to our good friends at Juju. That's
called a segue, boys and girls.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
I enjoyed that segue, and I agree, and I tried
this one this week, And if you were listening to
the start of this show, you'll know that actually I
had my own embarrassing bedroom experience because my nephew waved
it around exactly. But it's just so pretty and pink
and it's fun and it's got ten different vibrations. What
more could you want?
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Pocket size with all a La power, La Passante's strong
motor targets clitteral Bliss, Latex and Phalate. Free shop at
juju joujou dot com dot au. But if you would
like one for free kiss dot com do au, jump
on there now and you could win one of these
bad boys. And on that note, I am going to
(33:51):
need a cold shower, possibly a bath impure detto after
the show tonight. It has been a roller coaster ride.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
It's been the wildest one yet. But honestly, guy, try
the marry Me sex move. Let us know how you
go and listen. If you get engaged, I want to
go to the wedding.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Grab the podcast, like subscribe, share it with your friends,
maybe not your parents, given what we've talked about on
the show. Hopefully we'll be back next week.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
Let's if we get canceled, Oh boy bye,
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