November 27, 2025 • 27 mins
Jana helps a listener who discovered VIAGRA in her husband’s gym bag… and the reason why might shock you. We’re also joined by adult entertainer Lilly Phillips, who opens up about the industry, what stunt she wants to do next and what her parents really think. Famous dating coach Benny Hart also gives us the harsh truths about the dating world.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
We got to get away from this, and part of
that means you might have to just put your phone down.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Seven minutes in an ice bath gives you the exact
same height as it would from doing a line of cocaine.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Really, because how comparison would that be? Like yourself, this
whole thing, and no one comes to your young bar
and you're like, right, I put my clothes back on.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Welcome back to Saucy's Secrets. I'm Sex and Dating columnist
Janna Hooking and joining me is the brilliant.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
MC my favorite time of the week, I know, I.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Love it so much, and especially looking at what we've
got planned for this show, it's very exciting.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
Like I know, there's a saying you can't improve on perfection,
but somehow we do that.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Every week off the shot get wilder and wilder, and
tonight is no exception. So coming up next. If you
thought Margaritea Nazarenko was amazing, in fact, something she said
on this show has now reached a million views.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
On She's like a no nonsense dating coach who's completely
changed the way you now behave on your dates.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I'm going on a third a date with the same man,
purely based off her advice. Do you know how long
it's been since I've gone on three streets?
Speaker 4 (01:06):
So what role will she play on your wedding day
when you inevitably you know?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Well, I did run into her last night, and yeah,
she's definitely brady.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
What am I doing on the dark?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
You can actually do what? You can host it? What
do they call it?
Speaker 4 (01:19):
Should?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:21):
Yeah, as in the R and B superstarf.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
No, Actually, I take back your role. You can do nothing.
You can be invited, you can be fight, you can
sit up the back, tell me I look pretty. But
we found the male version of Margarit and Azarenko. He's
named Benny Hart. He's joining us from New York. He
has blown up on TikTok for his no nonsense.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
He's going to help blokes.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Yeah, men stick around, but well he helps women. But
he's it's like, we get it look in a male's brain.
He just tells it matter of factly. He suffers no fools,
and he's going to sort out our dating dilemmas.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
All right, Benny Hart next.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
And our next guest is a New York dating coach
who has built a cult following by telling people the
brutal truth. He's the guy you go to when you're
sick of breadcrumbs, mixed signals and emotionally unavailable men. Guilty
has charged, he's cut the bs, advice is blown up online,
and he joins us today to fix out and buy out,
(02:21):
I mean my dating life. Welcome, Benny Hart.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
How you guys doing? Thank you for having me so.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I've been following you for quite a while on uh Well,
I'm an Instagram giralie, but I know you've blown up
on TikTok as well. You are famous for just letting
us inside a man's mind and telling us exactly how
he's thinking. What has it been like seeing women turn
to you in their most vulnerable moments of need?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
You know, I don't really know, to be honest with you.
It's one of those things where I talk to everybody
as if I was talking to my sister. And I
think that's very important to get a much more objective
framework on this kind of stuff. You know, I know
these things may be sensed, people's emotions can be evolved,
but I talk in generalities and some people call it
tough love, but I just called a little bit more direct,
a little less batpacking. But I'm really trying to help
(03:10):
in that sense.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yes, you said something the other day that was a
real oprah aha moment for me, and I realized I
had been doing it a lot. You said, stop giving men.
You're in situationships with the girlfriend treatment. So you're giving them,
you're all, you're going all in, but then they're not committing,
they're not locking it down. Can you explain that a
(03:33):
little bit further.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Yeah, there's girlfriend benefits in those girlfriend samples, and I'm
off for girlfriend samples. As I say, it's actually a
matter of fact, it's necessary for girlfriend samples. But girlfriend
benefits is essentially a place where you get too comfortable
and you become girlfriend without being girlfriend. There's no title here.
He didn't commit to you. But yet again, you know,
it's just more of like you do things as a girlfriend.
You're there all the time. The consistency and the difference
(03:55):
between like samples and something like benefits would be the consistency.
It's like, okay, yeah, fine, it's great to have a
sleepover once, so it's great to cook together. Yes, it's
great to do these things, but I catch you doing
them four five times a week, twice a week, three
times a week, these things get a little you start
giving things. You're saying, well, why isn't he committing I'm like,
what is he committing to? You already already has it?
Speaker 2 (04:16):
So what are some samples we should be doing? Because
I find it really hard not to just give them
the full show friend and benefit. What is like, what
can we be doing that samples that would make them
want to eventually commit.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
You haven't been to the Chinese store at the wall.
Notice how they give these samples and you're like, damn,
that tasted good, But they don't give you like five
or six. They give you a sample, you know what,
it tastes like. It's okay to do it once, twice,
maybe a few times. It's great, it's a good time.
It's just the consistency of these actions. And yes, that
just means like heavy sleepovers, that means cooking with one another,
that means consistent intimacy all the time in regardless and
(04:51):
even like emotionally opening up to something. It's all good,
and it's all good, but you go too far. Sometimes
you're like you're not really in that committed phase, and
you want to make sure you get to a place
where it seems like you both are getting there before
you start doing too much consistently. That's really what I mean.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Do you think the dating apps have created situationships because
everyone thinks there's so many more options to them.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Now, you can't blame dating apps, really got to blame people,
and people use them as their main parody to meet
other people, so they put it upon themselves. You know,
let me just back up for a second. My content
is about full self accountability, and that's part of the
reason why it hit so hard because I don't let
people get away with this. He did, he did, they did.
That's your problem, and you need to learn how to
(05:34):
restrict yourself off of these tools, because that's what they are,
the tools. And yes, for sure, it has created this
framework of optionality that is that are not real options,
they're the perceived options, and those perceived options make you
kind of push away even some of the good things
or see red flags sooner in other people. For example,
(05:54):
you want to date with a guy and like, it's good,
but you know he wore red shoes and you know
how those red shoes things go. But then again, there's
one hundred and eleven others, you know, and part of
that is this analysis paralysis, if you were to call it,
And that kind of eliminates people from actually getting to
the to the nit ingredient like getting to know each other,
because there's always these perceived level of like, oh, I
(06:16):
have this.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
This and this before people because we are out of practice. Now,
how do you go about meeting people in real life
that isn't cringey?
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Product in marketing? And then there's product, which is you,
like how you carry yourself, how you present yourself? Are
you walking around an RBF everywhere? Does that really help you?
And that's the product. Then the marketing is figuring out
where are my customers going. There's the everyday stuff right
on your path. There's the yes on the way to work,
is the coffee shops. Those are things that are in
your path, and I think people should be open I
(06:46):
really truly do. I think people should be open there.
But there's the other part of the conversation is where
is my target audience going and how I place myself
around them? And I came up an acronym called past.
It's very easy. It's proximity, I contact, smile, It's like
the essentials of learning. And I just think we've gotten
away from that because we've been so in some ways
isolated from society with these platforms done and not them
per se, but the way people use them that it's
(07:08):
created a place where even the smallest little thing, God,
I promise you, even people are afraid to look at
one another, look at one another. Mind blowing to me.
And it's just like the fear that's associated. But well,
what comes next? What if they don't, what if they don't.
There's all these what ifs, and we've got to get
we got to get away from this. And part of
that means you might have to just put your phone
down because people are just too addicted. But also which
(07:32):
a lot of not a lot of people like to hear,
but you might have to think also about like, well,
where would the kind of guy I want be hard?
Hard sell for some women out here because they're like, well, no,
I shouldn't have to do that. Well, Connie, you should actually,
because for whatever reason, if you're not getting approached or
if you're not entering relations with the kind of men
you want, that's either it's a you problem or you're
(07:53):
not putting yourself in the right position to get approached
by these guys.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Some of these might be personal once, but I wanted
to run some red flag green flag questions with you
because they're getting very confusing, and I'm not great at
picking up red flags until about a month in and
then I go, thank God, because this will make for
a great article. But that's my sunny side of looking
at it.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
So there's a real chance that these red or green
flag scenarios could be from your history.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Who knows most of them are mine, I'll be honest.
So the first one is red flag or green flag.
They're amazing in person, but bland in text.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Yes, it could be a red flag. It just depends
on the person's communication style. And when we say bland,
is it like once a week, deathly bland, very red?
If it's just like okay, once or twice a day,
they check in because of that, And it depends what
people's needs are. Some people are like addicted to constant
interaction and some people are like, I'm okay with it
and we can just develop it slowly. So I think
it just depends. But overall, if it's bland bland, I'll
(08:55):
just give it read.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
The next one is red flag green flag. They only
want to meet up once a week in the early
days green.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
I don't call that red. And it just really depends, right,
And I'm going to elaborate on this, Like, if he's
pretty busy once a week early stage is actually decent pace.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
What about they refuse to define the relationship after a
month of solid dating.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
It's not a red, not a red. You know, I
wouldn't call it a green, but I wouldn't call it
a red.
Speaker 5 (09:23):
They already bressed with me.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Well, you know, ironically, that's something they say they want,
but they tend to stick around. Let's just be honest, right,
It does take a little bit, especially if the pace
is still once a week. What is there to define
at this point?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Okay, yes, you're right. What about this one? This one
hits a little bit close to home. They want to
split the bill after the first, second, or third date.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
Red.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Okay, so a little. Men do get angry when you
say that, because they're like, but you know, women are
making just as much money as men now, blah blah blah.
Do you just still think men should pay on the
first couple of dates?
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yeah? I do. I think men should I mean in
my personal but I think I should pay almost all
the time. Most of the time, for sure. I think
that's just a cope that most men do, you know,
and they'll use that like well women, It's just really
a cope in reality, and part of that really just
depends on who you tend to attract into your life,
you know, and it's really depending on the attitude of
the person. I think if two people have really good
attitudes and a guy has a good character, he should
(10:24):
be asking that, pursuing and paying for the dates. I
don't see an issue with that. As a matter of fact,
I should be expected.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Oh, preach, preach. Okay. This one came in from a listener.
She said, every time he goes out with his friends,
he doesn't answer any of my texts. When he comes home,
he says he was just having too much fun and
doesn't pay attention to his phone.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I wouldn't necessarily call it a red to give an
accurate answer here, you know, if this is the only
time that you're talking about that he's not using his
phone and he's just with his friends, I really wouldn't
give it that much of a thought unless it becomes
really like a habit of like him doing this in
other scenarios in different contexts. Now, if you're like dating
this guy or a relationship with the guy and it's
been like three or four months, then you would expect
(11:06):
him to be like, Hey, I'm with my friends. I'll
text you when I get.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Back, And do you think maybe you if we are
taking accountability, you would have to ask yourself as well,
like if you know who's going out with the boys
to have a good night, why do you need to
chat to him? Like shouldn't you just let him kind
of go and have a good night.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
You can explain that to women.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
Then well, why are you telling me that you should
be say?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Is read the book Attachment Styles. You might figure something
else about yourself. And then we had another one from
a listener. On the first date, he tried to get
me into bed. I said I wasn't keen. He seemed
fine and asked me out again. Fast forward, We've been
out on four dates now and every single time he
cheekly asks if I'm keen? Red flag or green flag?
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Red? Really? Because I've always.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Said I'd be offended, like I'm not going to sleep
with the guy in a first date. That's a lie.
I've done it a couple of times, but normally I'm
not going to sleep with a gund of first date,
but I would be so offended if he didn't at
least try.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Trying is one thing, but asking is another.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Yeah, that's my point.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
All right. I'll imagine this. Imagine a guy says, hey,
you are you down for tonight? What type of guy
is going to ask you that? Yeah? Are you down
to sleep together tonight? What are you talking about? It
should just start to happen naturally, And if he doesn't
pick that up, then that's like him not maybe reading
the cues properly. I don't know why would a guy
even have to ask personally? Like is that? Is that
a thing?
Speaker 2 (12:28):
It's such an dick, it's so great. That means he's got.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Nice Yeah, it's like weird. It's like you have no
like real like suave. You can't like understand the socio
dynamic here enough to make the call for yourself.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Oh my god, I feel like we could ask you
a million.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
More questions right now. Look, if people want to find you,
if people are asked after your help, if there are
more alsies that want to join the queue, what's the
best way for them to go about it?
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah? Absolutely, Benny Inc. On Instagram and tech talk me
and then why I n C.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
I highly recommend he's brilliant.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
You're leaving with more questions and answers when it comes
to your dating life. But Hi, we're doing our best.
Have some tough with a few men. Fanny Hart, thank
you for coming on Saucy Secrets. We appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Thank you, Ben, thank you so much. Joining us today
is a woman called Alessandro with the cringiest, most horrible
dating story that I would die if ever happened to me. So,
what's your saucy secret?
Speaker 3 (13:29):
I think I had one of the worst dates of
my life where I was surprised to meet someone's family
on the third date and I.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
Had no idea how many members of the family are
we talking to? Immediate sibling? Were their aunties?
Speaker 1 (13:42):
There were?
Speaker 3 (13:43):
There were two siblings, two girlfriends.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Mum, so you think you're going on a third day?
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Yep?
Speaker 2 (13:50):
What were your plans? What did he tell you?
Speaker 4 (13:52):
Yep?
Speaker 3 (13:52):
So plans were we were going to go see Michael
Jackson the musical and I was like, that's fun. Great,
and then before that he's like, oh, we'll go to
dinner beforehand. I can't have you going to the theater
on an empty stomach, and I'm like perfect at this stage.
So then like the day of he's messaging me and
he's like, oh, there'll be a few extra people there,
(14:13):
so it'll be fun, you'll have a good time, okay,
And I'm like, what do you mean these extra people there?
Speaker 2 (14:17):
I thought this was just a date show.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
Up until this point, you thought he's a cool dude.
The first two dates have.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Gone okay, they've gone well, Like you know, he was
like the spontaneous type. So I was like, okay, I
think this is just him, like just roll with her.
And then I get there and I'm like I still
didn't know who these people were. He still didn't like say, oh,
this is my mom. He was just like, oh that's
so and so. Mind you. He told me to speak
to them in Italian, to like play a prank.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Did they speak Italian? The mother Italian? Okay?
Speaker 3 (14:48):
So he's like, go in, there's one person in there
who speaks Italian. Let's play a joke and pretend that
you only speak Italian. And I've brought someone to dinner
in the theater to speak and.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
I'm like, what, No, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
He's like, do it, do it?
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Do it?
Speaker 4 (15:02):
I'm like no, So we.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
Walk in okay, and there I am starting to speak Italian.
Shah Michiamala, Sandra, I'm talking to Italian.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
I'm honestly so nervous.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
And then it just went downhill.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
So when did the penny drop?
Speaker 4 (15:17):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (15:17):
So the penny dropped when I was like, I can't
do this anymore, like I'm going to speak English. He's lying,
you know, he was just playing a joke. And the mother,
who I didn't know at that point, was like, oh,
You've really got to have a bit of a personality
with this one. I was like, okay. And then I
looked at the other girl who was standing there, and
(15:39):
she introduced herself and the name was familiar because he'd
mentioned her name to me before.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
As his sister in law.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
So then I'm looking at this girl who's introduced me,
introduced herself to me, looking at the woman and the
names are starting to click. And then she looks at
him and she goes, how is your day, darling, gives
him a kiss, and I'm the penny's dropping, and I'm
just like, oh my odd.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
What is happening?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
It's the family. It's the family. And then I look
and there's a table of seats so it's like a
full family dinner and I'm like, what is going on?
How did he react when he realized who?
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Nothing? I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
He was just like, plang it cool. I was like,
did they know who I am? Like, I'm Italian? You
bring someone to dinner?
Speaker 2 (16:22):
No? So did he introduce you as his girl?
Speaker 4 (16:26):
Didn't even introduce me.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
He was just like, off you go.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
But after I was like digging and digging, like say,
do you think this is normal?
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (16:33):
He was like, you know, I kind of like to
see people squirm.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
That's his cank. I've heard about this before. It was like,
what are you kidding?
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Like you get a pleasure from like seeing someone be uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
What's the conversation like the next day when you go
what the heck? He was just like not thought it
was my understanding.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
It was odd for me, and like I wanted to
talk about it and just be like where are you
coming from? Like why didn't you tell me? Like what
was the reason behind not telling me?
Speaker 2 (17:05):
And he just said I knew that if I didn't.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Tell you, you wouldn't come no shit, And I'm like, so,
why wouldn't you give me the opportunity to choose for myself?
Speaker 2 (17:13):
And do you think that, Like when I was hearing
about this, all I you're thinking was were you under
a test? Like I often because he wants his parents'
approval or his family approval as to who he dates.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
I do feel like he was testing me. Yeah, which
is so weird. But he made it out as if
it's not that big a deal.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
So what was the fourth date?
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Like the fourth date was meaning.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I've done.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
It was just really odd, very very odd.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
So you called it off?
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Well, yeah, we kind of like spoke.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
He tried to kind of.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Talk it out, but essentially I was just like, this
is not my person.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Well, hang tight, ladies, because apparently they are out there somewhere,
but there are a million and one terrible.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
People want to find you on the internets where you
talk about this stuff? Where can they find you?
Speaker 3 (18:00):
On TikTok there's lots of dating stories on there at
Makeup by Alessandra.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
And just fell as. If you're watching on the YouTube strainer,
all right, don't do this, don't do it, don't bring mum,
don't bring the brothers. Don't bring the sister in laws.
Don't do it normal, normal normal? Has the dating been
okay better?
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Since it actually has, I've had some really lovely dates.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
It just made up for it. We know you know
what your red flags? Absolutely?
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Yeah, yeah, thank you for coming on the show and
confessing your saucy secret to us.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Thank you, thank you. We've received a letter to the
show this week that was a real head scratcher, and
at first I thought I straightaway knew the answer, but
then I did some slew things. So let me redo
out the question and you might be surprised by my answer,
so they wrote in Dear Saucy Secrets. Last weekend, I
(18:48):
was unpacking my husband's gym bag when I found a
packet of viagra. We've recently reignited our sex life after
I had our first child, and to be honest, this
sex has been great lately.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
Okay, I's brilliant.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
When I confronted him, he swore it wasn't because of me. Apparently,
he said everyone at the gym uses it for performance enhancement. Sorry,
but I'm worried he's not attracted to me as he
was just before I had his child. He's thirty eight, fit, healthy,
and to my knowledge, he has never had erection problems.
(19:22):
I'm so confused, is this a new male trend I've missed?
Or am I dating someone who secretly can't get it
up without help? Signed viagara wag now?
Speaker 4 (19:33):
Because my thought instantly, when does she think he's cheating?
But now that makes sense, She's like, does he now
need help to sleep with me? Because things have changed
in our relationship?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Well, when she said she found it in his gym bag,
I was a bit like, Oh, he's having an effeir
with what I'm doing at the gym for sure, And
so straight away I was like, I mean points for
being creative coming up with that topic. But then I
did a bit of sleuthing and I asked around my
gym buddies.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
It's weird. I didn't get that text message the gym
that I do all the time. What is he lifting
dumbbells with his dick?
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Well, the weird thing is it actually is a trend.
It's real men are taking viagra before they go to
the gym because they say it boosts blood flow and
it gives you a batter pump. So honestly, there are
men in the gyms around us right now micro dosing viagra.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
We're not suggesting look at their crutches in the gym,
but you might just help the pumping the iron.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
I couldn't help, but love, because all I did keep
thinking was like all these men with like hard ones
doing workouts, so inappropriate, we'll like make you end up
in hl. But it really is happening, Okay. The problem
is when you look into it, and scientists and doctors
have had to look into it because so many gym
bros are taking viagrat the gym. It doesn't do anything
(20:48):
for your health. In fact, it actually if you mix
it with a pre workout or booze, because a lott
of men do take it on a night out for stomach.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
People are also getting drunk before working, Like what is
happening in gyms these No, no, no.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
It's happening in nightclubs as well. People are taking it
for stamina.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
For all night.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
It's actually really dangerous because it like ruins your blood pressure.
People are having heart attacks from taking it when they
really don't need it. So men stop taking viagara for
the gym. And if I was her, I wouldn't be
taking it personally. He's just caught up in a face.
Do you know what does actually work? Ice baths? Ice
bots will give you the exact same boost, the exact
(21:25):
same stamina.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
I thought we were still. I was getting it up,
and I'm like, is it an ice bath going to
do the opposite to help you get in direction? No? No, no,
you don't for the gym, the gym, for the gym.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Also, I found out something interesting the other day. Did
you know that an ice bath gives you the exact
same high as it would from doing a line of cocaine?
Really difference? Is this is true? This is science, guys.
The line of cocaine will apparently only last half an hour,
but the benefits from the high of an ice bath
will last you seven hours.
Speaker 4 (21:57):
That's why there are all these ice bath challenges popping
up in bond. It makes complete sense. Who said this
wasn't an educational shark?
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Cost of living is real and an ice bath is free.
So put down the viagramnu at the gem. Stop using it.
It's actually really bad for your health. And lady, no,
you have nothing to worry about. He just wants bigger muscles.
I love a good hack. I especially love a good
hack when it catches out dirty, dirty cheaters, and we've
(22:24):
discovered one tonight. That is surprisingly easy.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Yeah, because like normally, cheaters go to great lengths to
cover their tracks and make it really difficult to get discovered.
But this is like just a couple of buttons and but.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Yes, it's super easy. Now. The first thing I would
say is, if you feel like your partner is cheating,
there's a fair chance they are. Like Marguerite and Azarenku said,
always follow your gut because it's annoyingly hardly ever wrong.
There is a disclaimer to this hack. Only do it
if you really want to know. I know, we all
(22:58):
think we want to know if our partner is cheating,
But like they say, when you go hunting, be prepared
to actually find something.
Speaker 5 (23:05):
Yeah right, Yeah, So most cheaters will send you know,
their little mistress the dirty skank a text message and
then they'll delete it.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
It's gone forever, or is it. It's not.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
So all you need to do if you've got an
iPhone with the most up to date software on that iPhone,
when you open your messages in the top right hand corner,
there's a little button with three straight lines which filters
all the text messages that you've got.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
I've never even looked at it before until now.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
You click on this button and one of the options
is recently deleted. So all these texts that you delete
sit in that folder I think for thirty days before
they're wiped completely.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Okay, that's petrifying. And the weird thing was we went
through my phone. I've got nothing to delete because I am.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
As updated phone. So here's here's the tip for those
that are planning on cheating, not that we'd ever condone that.
Don't update your iPhone.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Never update at your iPhone and you won't have to
do it. But ladies, if you think your man is cheating,
go into his messages, click the three dots, go to
the recently deleted folder, and there will be all his dirty, dirty.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
Text Just in case my wife is listening, Do we
go through my text messages just to confirm more than
I will?
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Well, let's go through them.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
Oh god, all right. Top text is from Pure Baby
that is a children's clothing brand, pet Barn and Palm
Beach Surf Club on the Gold Coast. I think I'm safe,
think I'm sicked, but.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I know a lot of you will be asking. But wait,
I don't know my partner's code to even get into
the phone. My friend did the naughtiest trick of it.
This is how she broke into her partner's phone. So
every time he would get his phone out, she would
be like, okay, let's do it with you. So you've
got your phone out. You might be at the table.
I look like I'm looking at my phone right. No, No,
(24:50):
I'm recording you. So you know a lot of times
when you have to type in your code because maybe
you've got sunglasses on or your face doesn't turn up.
Every time she's saw him jump on his phone, she
would have her phone like this, recording.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
Him him putting in his pink coat.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Yeah, and so she.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Got his pinkerd and then she would slow it down
and work out what it was.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
Now, would you bust into your partner's phone if you
printed out a big picture of their face? Would that
work on the facial recognition?
Speaker 2 (25:17):
No, I've tried that. Oh yeah, that doesn't okay, And
I've also tried it when they're sleeping as well. That
doesn't work.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Holding it up to the face, yeah, trying to pry
their eyes open so it can see the eyeballs.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
But me're not also simple creatures, so also try one, two, three,
four or their birthdate. That usually works.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
It generally works.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
We don't we don't suggest you do this. We're just
letting you know.
Speaker 4 (25:38):
But hey, whatever you need to do to either confirm
or put your suspicions at ease, that is completely up
to you. If you don't want to worry about like
human interactions though and the whole dating and stuff yuck,
don't want to there is a way to get around that,
and that is.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
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(26:17):
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Speaker 4 (26:32):
How we reached the end of yet another shot?
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I know and just to remind it that we are
coming up to Christmas, so get your orders in. Don't
get the boring Cadbury chocolate box, get your partner a
sex toys. Oh wow, but yes we've finished another show.
Who knows what Next week we'll ring. It will be naughty,
it will be one for headphones. Don't listen in the car.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
With kids, obviously not.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
I think you've earnt that by what are we? Episode twelve?
Episode twelve you should know no to listen with kids
in the car. Thank you for joining us. Bye,
We got to get away from this, and part of
that means you might have to just put your phone down.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Seven minutes in an ice bath gives you the exact
same height as it would from doing a line of cocaine.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Really, because how comparison would that be? Like yourself, this
whole thing, and no one comes to your young bar
and you're like, right, I put my clothes back on.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Welcome back to Saucy's Secrets. I'm Sex and Dating columnist
Janna Hooking and joining me is the brilliant.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
MC my favorite time of the week, I know, I.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Love it so much, and especially looking at what we've
got planned for this show, it's very exciting.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
Like I know, there's a saying you can't improve on perfection,
but somehow we do that.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Every week off the shot get wilder and wilder, and
tonight is no exception. So coming up next. If you
thought Margaritea Nazarenko was amazing, in fact, something she said
on this show has now reached a million views.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
On She's like a no nonsense dating coach who's completely
changed the way you now behave on your dates.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I'm going on a third a date with the same man,
purely based off her advice. Do you know how long
it's been since I've gone on three streets?
Speaker 4 (01:06):
So what role will she play on your wedding day
when you inevitably you know?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Well, I did run into her last night, and yeah,
she's definitely brady.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
What am I doing on the dark?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
You can actually do what? You can host it? What
do they call it?
Speaker 4 (01:19):
Should?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:21):
Yeah, as in the R and B superstarf.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
No, Actually, I take back your role. You can do nothing.
You can be invited, you can be fight, you can
sit up the back, tell me I look pretty. But
we found the male version of Margarit and Azarenko. He's
named Benny Hart. He's joining us from New York. He
has blown up on TikTok for his no nonsense.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
He's going to help blokes.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Yeah, men stick around, but well he helps women. But
he's it's like, we get it look in a male's brain.
He just tells it matter of factly. He suffers no fools,
and he's going to sort out our dating dilemmas.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
All right, Benny Hart next.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
And our next guest is a New York dating coach
who has built a cult following by telling people the
brutal truth. He's the guy you go to when you're
sick of breadcrumbs, mixed signals and emotionally unavailable men. Guilty
has charged, he's cut the bs, advice is blown up online,
and he joins us today to fix out and buy out,
(02:21):
I mean my dating life. Welcome, Benny Hart.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
How you guys doing? Thank you for having me so.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I've been following you for quite a while on uh Well,
I'm an Instagram giralie, but I know you've blown up
on TikTok as well. You are famous for just letting
us inside a man's mind and telling us exactly how
he's thinking. What has it been like seeing women turn
to you in their most vulnerable moments of need?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
You know, I don't really know, to be honest with you.
It's one of those things where I talk to everybody
as if I was talking to my sister. And I
think that's very important to get a much more objective
framework on this kind of stuff. You know, I know
these things may be sensed, people's emotions can be evolved,
but I talk in generalities and some people call it
tough love, but I just called a little bit more direct,
a little less batpacking. But I'm really trying to help
(03:10):
in that sense.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yes, you said something the other day that was a
real oprah aha moment for me, and I realized I
had been doing it a lot. You said, stop giving men.
You're in situationships with the girlfriend treatment. So you're giving them,
you're all, you're going all in, but then they're not committing,
they're not locking it down. Can you explain that a
(03:33):
little bit further.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Yeah, there's girlfriend benefits in those girlfriend samples, and I'm
off for girlfriend samples. As I say, it's actually a
matter of fact, it's necessary for girlfriend samples. But girlfriend
benefits is essentially a place where you get too comfortable
and you become girlfriend without being girlfriend. There's no title here.
He didn't commit to you. But yet again, you know,
it's just more of like you do things as a girlfriend.
You're there all the time. The consistency and the difference
(03:55):
between like samples and something like benefits would be the consistency.
It's like, okay, yeah, fine, it's great to have a
sleepover once, so it's great to cook together. Yes, it's
great to do these things, but I catch you doing
them four five times a week, twice a week, three
times a week, these things get a little you start
giving things. You're saying, well, why isn't he committing I'm like,
what is he committing to? You already already has it?
Speaker 2 (04:16):
So what are some samples we should be doing? Because
I find it really hard not to just give them
the full show friend and benefit. What is like, what
can we be doing that samples that would make them
want to eventually commit.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
You haven't been to the Chinese store at the wall.
Notice how they give these samples and you're like, damn,
that tasted good, But they don't give you like five
or six. They give you a sample, you know what,
it tastes like. It's okay to do it once, twice,
maybe a few times. It's great, it's a good time.
It's just the consistency of these actions. And yes, that
just means like heavy sleepovers, that means cooking with one another,
that means consistent intimacy all the time in regardless and
(04:51):
even like emotionally opening up to something. It's all good,
and it's all good, but you go too far. Sometimes
you're like you're not really in that committed phase, and
you want to make sure you get to a place
where it seems like you both are getting there before
you start doing too much consistently. That's really what I mean.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Do you think the dating apps have created situationships because
everyone thinks there's so many more options to them.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Now, you can't blame dating apps, really got to blame people,
and people use them as their main parody to meet
other people, so they put it upon themselves. You know,
let me just back up for a second. My content
is about full self accountability, and that's part of the
reason why it hit so hard because I don't let
people get away with this. He did, he did, they did.
That's your problem, and you need to learn how to
(05:34):
restrict yourself off of these tools, because that's what they are,
the tools. And yes, for sure, it has created this
framework of optionality that is that are not real options,
they're the perceived options, and those perceived options make you
kind of push away even some of the good things
or see red flags sooner in other people. For example,
(05:54):
you want to date with a guy and like, it's good,
but you know he wore red shoes and you know
how those red shoes things go. But then again, there's
one hundred and eleven others, you know, and part of
that is this analysis paralysis, if you were to call it,
And that kind of eliminates people from actually getting to
the to the nit ingredient like getting to know each other,
because there's always these perceived level of like, oh, I
(06:16):
have this.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
This and this before people because we are out of practice. Now,
how do you go about meeting people in real life
that isn't cringey?
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Product in marketing? And then there's product, which is you,
like how you carry yourself, how you present yourself? Are
you walking around an RBF everywhere? Does that really help you?
And that's the product. Then the marketing is figuring out
where are my customers going. There's the everyday stuff right
on your path. There's the yes on the way to work,
is the coffee shops. Those are things that are in
your path, and I think people should be open I
(06:46):
really truly do. I think people should be open there.
But there's the other part of the conversation is where
is my target audience going and how I place myself
around them? And I came up an acronym called past.
It's very easy. It's proximity, I contact, smile, It's like
the essentials of learning. And I just think we've gotten
away from that because we've been so in some ways
isolated from society with these platforms done and not them
per se, but the way people use them that it's
(07:08):
created a place where even the smallest little thing, God,
I promise you, even people are afraid to look at
one another, look at one another. Mind blowing to me.
And it's just like the fear that's associated. But well,
what comes next? What if they don't, what if they don't.
There's all these what ifs, and we've got to get
we got to get away from this. And part of
that means you might have to just put your phone
down because people are just too addicted. But also which
(07:32):
a lot of not a lot of people like to hear,
but you might have to think also about like, well,
where would the kind of guy I want be hard?
Hard sell for some women out here because they're like, well, no,
I shouldn't have to do that. Well, Connie, you should actually,
because for whatever reason, if you're not getting approached or
if you're not entering relations with the kind of men
you want, that's either it's a you problem or you're
(07:53):
not putting yourself in the right position to get approached
by these guys.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Some of these might be personal once, but I wanted
to run some red flag green flag questions with you
because they're getting very confusing, and I'm not great at
picking up red flags until about a month in and
then I go, thank God, because this will make for
a great article. But that's my sunny side of looking
at it.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
So there's a real chance that these red or green
flag scenarios could be from your history.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Who knows most of them are mine, I'll be honest.
So the first one is red flag or green flag.
They're amazing in person, but bland in text.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Yes, it could be a red flag. It just depends
on the person's communication style. And when we say bland,
is it like once a week, deathly bland, very red?
If it's just like okay, once or twice a day,
they check in because of that, And it depends what
people's needs are. Some people are like addicted to constant
interaction and some people are like, I'm okay with it
and we can just develop it slowly. So I think
it just depends. But overall, if it's bland bland, I'll
(08:55):
just give it read.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
The next one is red flag green flag. They only
want to meet up once a week in the early
days green.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
I don't call that red. And it just really depends, right,
And I'm going to elaborate on this, Like, if he's
pretty busy once a week early stage is actually decent pace.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
What about they refuse to define the relationship after a
month of solid dating.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
It's not a red, not a red. You know, I
wouldn't call it a green, but I wouldn't call it
a red.
Speaker 5 (09:23):
They already bressed with me.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Well, you know, ironically, that's something they say they want,
but they tend to stick around. Let's just be honest, right,
It does take a little bit, especially if the pace
is still once a week. What is there to define
at this point?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Okay, yes, you're right. What about this one? This one
hits a little bit close to home. They want to
split the bill after the first, second, or third date.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
Red.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Okay, so a little. Men do get angry when you
say that, because they're like, but you know, women are
making just as much money as men now, blah blah blah.
Do you just still think men should pay on the
first couple of dates?
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yeah? I do. I think men should I mean in
my personal but I think I should pay almost all
the time. Most of the time, for sure. I think
that's just a cope that most men do, you know,
and they'll use that like well women, It's just really
a cope in reality, and part of that really just
depends on who you tend to attract into your life,
you know, and it's really depending on the attitude of
the person. I think if two people have really good
attitudes and a guy has a good character, he should
(10:24):
be asking that, pursuing and paying for the dates. I
don't see an issue with that. As a matter of fact,
I should be expected.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Oh, preach, preach. Okay. This one came in from a listener.
She said, every time he goes out with his friends,
he doesn't answer any of my texts. When he comes home,
he says he was just having too much fun and
doesn't pay attention to his phone.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I wouldn't necessarily call it a red to give an
accurate answer here, you know, if this is the only
time that you're talking about that he's not using his
phone and he's just with his friends, I really wouldn't
give it that much of a thought unless it becomes
really like a habit of like him doing this in
other scenarios in different contexts. Now, if you're like dating
this guy or a relationship with the guy and it's
been like three or four months, then you would expect
(11:06):
him to be like, Hey, I'm with my friends. I'll
text you when I get.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Back, And do you think maybe you if we are
taking accountability, you would have to ask yourself as well,
like if you know who's going out with the boys
to have a good night, why do you need to
chat to him? Like shouldn't you just let him kind
of go and have a good night.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
You can explain that to women.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
Then well, why are you telling me that you should
be say?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Is read the book Attachment Styles. You might figure something
else about yourself. And then we had another one from
a listener. On the first date, he tried to get
me into bed. I said I wasn't keen. He seemed
fine and asked me out again. Fast forward, We've been
out on four dates now and every single time he
cheekly asks if I'm keen? Red flag or green flag?
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Red? Really? Because I've always.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Said I'd be offended, like I'm not going to sleep
with the guy in a first date. That's a lie.
I've done it a couple of times, but normally I'm
not going to sleep with a gund of first date,
but I would be so offended if he didn't at
least try.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Trying is one thing, but asking is another.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Yeah, that's my point.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
All right. I'll imagine this. Imagine a guy says, hey,
you are you down for tonight? What type of guy
is going to ask you that? Yeah? Are you down
to sleep together tonight? What are you talking about? It
should just start to happen naturally, And if he doesn't
pick that up, then that's like him not maybe reading
the cues properly. I don't know why would a guy
even have to ask personally? Like is that? Is that
a thing?
Speaker 2 (12:28):
It's such an dick, it's so great. That means he's got.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Nice Yeah, it's like weird. It's like you have no
like real like suave. You can't like understand the socio
dynamic here enough to make the call for yourself.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Oh my god, I feel like we could ask you
a million.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
More questions right now. Look, if people want to find you,
if people are asked after your help, if there are
more alsies that want to join the queue, what's the
best way for them to go about it?
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah? Absolutely, Benny Inc. On Instagram and tech talk me
and then why I n C.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
I highly recommend he's brilliant.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
You're leaving with more questions and answers when it comes
to your dating life. But Hi, we're doing our best.
Have some tough with a few men. Fanny Hart, thank
you for coming on Saucy Secrets. We appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Thank you, Ben, thank you so much. Joining us today
is a woman called Alessandro with the cringiest, most horrible
dating story that I would die if ever happened to me. So,
what's your saucy secret?
Speaker 3 (13:29):
I think I had one of the worst dates of
my life where I was surprised to meet someone's family
on the third date and I.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
Had no idea how many members of the family are
we talking to? Immediate sibling? Were their aunties?
Speaker 1 (13:42):
There were?
Speaker 3 (13:43):
There were two siblings, two girlfriends.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Mum, so you think you're going on a third day?
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Yep?
Speaker 2 (13:50):
What were your plans? What did he tell you?
Speaker 4 (13:52):
Yep?
Speaker 3 (13:52):
So plans were we were going to go see Michael
Jackson the musical and I was like, that's fun. Great,
and then before that he's like, oh, we'll go to
dinner beforehand. I can't have you going to the theater
on an empty stomach, and I'm like perfect at this stage.
So then like the day of he's messaging me and
he's like, oh, there'll be a few extra people there,
(14:13):
so it'll be fun, you'll have a good time, okay,
And I'm like, what do you mean these extra people there?
Speaker 2 (14:17):
I thought this was just a date show.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
Up until this point, you thought he's a cool dude.
The first two dates have.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Gone okay, they've gone well, Like you know, he was
like the spontaneous type. So I was like, okay, I
think this is just him, like just roll with her.
And then I get there and I'm like I still
didn't know who these people were. He still didn't like say, oh,
this is my mom. He was just like, oh that's
so and so. Mind you. He told me to speak
to them in Italian, to like play a prank.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Did they speak Italian? The mother Italian? Okay?
Speaker 3 (14:48):
So he's like, go in, there's one person in there
who speaks Italian. Let's play a joke and pretend that
you only speak Italian. And I've brought someone to dinner
in the theater to speak and.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
I'm like, what, No, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
He's like, do it, do it?
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Do it?
Speaker 4 (15:02):
I'm like no, So we.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
Walk in okay, and there I am starting to speak Italian.
Shah Michiamala, Sandra, I'm talking to Italian.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
I'm honestly so nervous.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
And then it just went downhill.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
So when did the penny drop?
Speaker 4 (15:17):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (15:17):
So the penny dropped when I was like, I can't
do this anymore, like I'm going to speak English. He's lying,
you know, he was just playing a joke. And the mother,
who I didn't know at that point, was like, oh,
You've really got to have a bit of a personality
with this one. I was like, okay. And then I
looked at the other girl who was standing there, and
(15:39):
she introduced herself and the name was familiar because he'd
mentioned her name to me before.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
As his sister in law.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
So then I'm looking at this girl who's introduced me,
introduced herself to me, looking at the woman and the
names are starting to click. And then she looks at
him and she goes, how is your day, darling, gives
him a kiss, and I'm the penny's dropping, and I'm
just like, oh my odd.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
What is happening?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
It's the family. It's the family. And then I look
and there's a table of seats so it's like a
full family dinner and I'm like, what is going on?
How did he react when he realized who?
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Nothing? I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
He was just like, plang it cool. I was like,
did they know who I am? Like, I'm Italian? You
bring someone to dinner?
Speaker 2 (16:22):
No? So did he introduce you as his girl?
Speaker 4 (16:26):
Didn't even introduce me.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
He was just like, off you go.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
But after I was like digging and digging, like say,
do you think this is normal?
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (16:33):
He was like, you know, I kind of like to
see people squirm.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
That's his cank. I've heard about this before. It was like,
what are you kidding?
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Like you get a pleasure from like seeing someone be uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
What's the conversation like the next day when you go
what the heck? He was just like not thought it
was my understanding.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
It was odd for me, and like I wanted to
talk about it and just be like where are you
coming from? Like why didn't you tell me? Like what
was the reason behind not telling me?
Speaker 2 (17:05):
And he just said I knew that if I didn't.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Tell you, you wouldn't come no shit, And I'm like, so,
why wouldn't you give me the opportunity to choose for myself?
Speaker 2 (17:13):
And do you think that, Like when I was hearing
about this, all I you're thinking was were you under
a test? Like I often because he wants his parents'
approval or his family approval as to who he dates.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
I do feel like he was testing me. Yeah, which
is so weird. But he made it out as if
it's not that big a deal.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
So what was the fourth date?
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Like the fourth date was meaning.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I've done.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
It was just really odd, very very odd.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
So you called it off?
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Well, yeah, we kind of like spoke.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
He tried to kind of.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Talk it out, but essentially I was just like, this
is not my person.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Well, hang tight, ladies, because apparently they are out there somewhere,
but there are a million and one terrible.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
People want to find you on the internets where you
talk about this stuff? Where can they find you?
Speaker 3 (18:00):
On TikTok there's lots of dating stories on there at
Makeup by Alessandra.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
And just fell as. If you're watching on the YouTube strainer,
all right, don't do this, don't do it, don't bring mum,
don't bring the brothers. Don't bring the sister in laws.
Don't do it normal, normal normal? Has the dating been
okay better?
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Since it actually has, I've had some really lovely dates.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
It just made up for it. We know you know
what your red flags? Absolutely?
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Yeah, yeah, thank you for coming on the show and
confessing your saucy secret to us.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Thank you, thank you. We've received a letter to the
show this week that was a real head scratcher, and
at first I thought I straightaway knew the answer, but
then I did some slew things. So let me redo
out the question and you might be surprised by my answer,
so they wrote in Dear Saucy Secrets. Last weekend, I
(18:48):
was unpacking my husband's gym bag when I found a
packet of viagra. We've recently reignited our sex life after
I had our first child, and to be honest, this
sex has been great lately.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
Okay, I's brilliant.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
When I confronted him, he swore it wasn't because of me. Apparently,
he said everyone at the gym uses it for performance enhancement. Sorry,
but I'm worried he's not attracted to me as he
was just before I had his child. He's thirty eight, fit, healthy,
and to my knowledge, he has never had erection problems.
(19:22):
I'm so confused, is this a new male trend I've missed?
Or am I dating someone who secretly can't get it
up without help? Signed viagara wag now?
Speaker 4 (19:33):
Because my thought instantly, when does she think he's cheating?
But now that makes sense, She's like, does he now
need help to sleep with me? Because things have changed
in our relationship?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Well, when she said she found it in his gym bag,
I was a bit like, Oh, he's having an effeir
with what I'm doing at the gym for sure, And
so straight away I was like, I mean points for
being creative coming up with that topic. But then I
did a bit of sleuthing and I asked around my
gym buddies.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
It's weird. I didn't get that text message the gym
that I do all the time. What is he lifting
dumbbells with his dick?
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Well, the weird thing is it actually is a trend.
It's real men are taking viagra before they go to
the gym because they say it boosts blood flow and
it gives you a batter pump. So honestly, there are
men in the gyms around us right now micro dosing viagra.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
We're not suggesting look at their crutches in the gym,
but you might just help the pumping the iron.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
I couldn't help, but love, because all I did keep
thinking was like all these men with like hard ones
doing workouts, so inappropriate, we'll like make you end up
in hl. But it really is happening, Okay. The problem
is when you look into it, and scientists and doctors
have had to look into it because so many gym
bros are taking viagrat the gym. It doesn't do anything
(20:48):
for your health. In fact, it actually if you mix
it with a pre workout or booze, because a lott
of men do take it on a night out for stomach.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
People are also getting drunk before working, Like what is
happening in gyms these No, no, no.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
It's happening in nightclubs as well. People are taking it
for stamina.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
For all night.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
It's actually really dangerous because it like ruins your blood pressure.
People are having heart attacks from taking it when they
really don't need it. So men stop taking viagara for
the gym. And if I was her, I wouldn't be
taking it personally. He's just caught up in a face.
Do you know what does actually work? Ice baths? Ice
bots will give you the exact same boost, the exact
(21:25):
same stamina.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
I thought we were still. I was getting it up,
and I'm like, is it an ice bath going to
do the opposite to help you get in direction? No? No, no,
you don't for the gym, the gym, for the gym.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Also, I found out something interesting the other day. Did
you know that an ice bath gives you the exact
same high as it would from doing a line of cocaine?
Really difference? Is this is true? This is science, guys.
The line of cocaine will apparently only last half an hour,
but the benefits from the high of an ice bath
will last you seven hours.
Speaker 4 (21:57):
That's why there are all these ice bath challenges popping
up in bond. It makes complete sense. Who said this
wasn't an educational shark?
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Cost of living is real and an ice bath is free.
So put down the viagramnu at the gem. Stop using it.
It's actually really bad for your health. And lady, no,
you have nothing to worry about. He just wants bigger muscles.
I love a good hack. I especially love a good
hack when it catches out dirty, dirty cheaters, and we've
(22:24):
discovered one tonight. That is surprisingly easy.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Yeah, because like normally, cheaters go to great lengths to
cover their tracks and make it really difficult to get discovered.
But this is like just a couple of buttons and but.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Yes, it's super easy. Now. The first thing I would
say is, if you feel like your partner is cheating,
there's a fair chance they are. Like Marguerite and Azarenku said,
always follow your gut because it's annoyingly hardly ever wrong.
There is a disclaimer to this hack. Only do it
if you really want to know. I know, we all
(22:58):
think we want to know if our partner is cheating,
But like they say, when you go hunting, be prepared
to actually find something.
Speaker 5 (23:05):
Yeah right, Yeah, So most cheaters will send you know,
their little mistress the dirty skank a text message and
then they'll delete it.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
It's gone forever, or is it. It's not.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
So all you need to do if you've got an
iPhone with the most up to date software on that iPhone,
when you open your messages in the top right hand corner,
there's a little button with three straight lines which filters
all the text messages that you've got.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
I've never even looked at it before until now.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
You click on this button and one of the options
is recently deleted. So all these texts that you delete
sit in that folder I think for thirty days before
they're wiped completely.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Okay, that's petrifying. And the weird thing was we went
through my phone. I've got nothing to delete because I am.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
As updated phone. So here's here's the tip for those
that are planning on cheating, not that we'd ever condone that.
Don't update your iPhone.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Never update at your iPhone and you won't have to
do it. But ladies, if you think your man is cheating,
go into his messages, click the three dots, go to
the recently deleted folder, and there will be all his dirty, dirty.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
Text Just in case my wife is listening, Do we
go through my text messages just to confirm more than
I will?
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Well, let's go through them.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
Oh god, all right. Top text is from Pure Baby
that is a children's clothing brand, pet Barn and Palm
Beach Surf Club on the Gold Coast. I think I'm safe,
think I'm sicked, but.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I know a lot of you will be asking. But wait,
I don't know my partner's code to even get into
the phone. My friend did the naughtiest trick of it.
This is how she broke into her partner's phone. So
every time he would get his phone out, she would
be like, okay, let's do it with you. So you've
got your phone out. You might be at the table.
I look like I'm looking at my phone right. No, No,
(24:50):
I'm recording you. So you know a lot of times
when you have to type in your code because maybe
you've got sunglasses on or your face doesn't turn up.
Every time she's saw him jump on his phone, she
would have her phone like this, recording.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
Him him putting in his pink coat.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Yeah, and so she.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Got his pinkerd and then she would slow it down
and work out what it was.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
Now, would you bust into your partner's phone if you
printed out a big picture of their face? Would that
work on the facial recognition?
Speaker 2 (25:17):
No, I've tried that. Oh yeah, that doesn't okay, And
I've also tried it when they're sleeping as well. That
doesn't work.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Holding it up to the face, yeah, trying to pry
their eyes open so it can see the eyeballs.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
But me're not also simple creatures, so also try one, two, three,
four or their birthdate. That usually works.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
It generally works.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
We don't we don't suggest you do this. We're just
letting you know.
Speaker 4 (25:38):
But hey, whatever you need to do to either confirm
or put your suspicions at ease, that is completely up
to you. If you don't want to worry about like
human interactions though and the whole dating and stuff yuck,
don't want to there is a way to get around that,
and that is.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Today it's your chance to win the fun Factory Vim Messager.
There is no wand like this out there so many
ones just deliver power and nothing else whereas. The Vim
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vibration at any speed. This will transmit excitement to deeper layers,
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(26:17):
gentle tremble to full body rumble, the VIM Messenger from
fun Factory will make you melt first, explode later with
five speeds and three deep orgasm programs. Get yours at
juju jou jou dot com dot au.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
How we reached the end of yet another shot?
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I know and just to remind it that we are
coming up to Christmas, so get your orders in. Don't
get the boring Cadbury chocolate box, get your partner a
sex toys. Oh wow, but yes we've finished another show.
Who knows what Next week we'll ring. It will be naughty,
it will be one for headphones. Don't listen in the car.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
With kids, obviously not.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
I think you've earnt that by what are we? Episode twelve?
Episode twelve you should know no to listen with kids
in the car. Thank you for joining us. Bye,
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