\What’s actually better for future you... adding more to your super, or growing that house deposit? This week we’re unpacking one of the biggest money dilemmas of adulthood and how to think about both goals without feeling like you’re failing at either. Turns out you don’t have to choose and there’s a smarter way to grow future-you’s money while still getting closer to those house keys. Then, things take a turn for the spicy. One community member's family drama has us asking what “fair” really means when money’s involved, and if parents should ever be expected to split things evenly. Plus your favourite mix of money wins, confessions, broke tips... and just the right amount of unhinged energy to start the weekend.
Need the team’s take on your money dilemma? Send us a voicemail here.
Or if it's more of a spicy money drama and you want the communities verdict? Slide into our DMs here.
Ready for more laughs, lessons, and unhinged money chats? Check out our oh-so-bingeable Friday Drinks playlist. Listen here.
Join our 400K+ She's on the Money community in our Facebook Group and on Instagram.
Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements.
The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708, AFSL - 451289.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name is Tatasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations
woman and I'm here to acknowledge country t Glenn Young
Ganya Niana, kaka ya Ya bin Ahaka nian Ar gay
In Nimbina yakarum jar dominyamiga Umagahawakaman damon imlan Wumba bang
Gadabomba in and now in wakah ghana on yakraum jar Watnadaa. Hello,
(00:22):
beautiful friends, we gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people.
We thank I acknowledge and respect the Aberiginal people's land
that we're gathering on today. Take pleasure in all the
land and respect all that you see. She's on the
Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections, bringing you
the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
that makes personal finance fun, especially on Fridays. It is
our favorite day of the week because I get to
get my team together and celebrate you our incredible She's
on the Money. Community is Jess Garricky's That sounds weird.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I can't say it that way.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
That's how you say it when you're just normally talking.
That's how the people want me to say it. I
can't do that enough. Just Reach is going to be
sharing our favorite money wins. Miss beck Sayeed is back
and she's going to be sharing her broke tips, and
we're going to be helping to answer a juicy money
dilemma about whether you should be salary sacrificing into your
super or focusing on other goals. And something that you
(01:48):
slid into our DMS about a spicy sibling drama about
your sister getting money that isn't being given to you. Oh,
I just have thoughts and feelings. I believe values about
that one.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
I do.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
I do, and I can't wait to get there. But
before we get there, my friend's team question from the community. Yeah,
I got to ask you a question, but they have
been rolling in hot and heavy. Apparently the community have
a lot of questions for you guys, And if you
didn't listen to last week's show, I've started a new
segment and instead of saying to my team, how are you,
(02:23):
I say, hey, here's a question from our community, and
I don't give them any warning. Yes, it's my favorite
part about it. So I've been putting out a call
for all your burning questions for jess and Beck and
I might even get involved sometimes, and they've been rolling in.
So this week's question is from our friend Grace, and
Grace wants to know what is your best second hand
slash op shop slash marketplace find that you have found
(02:46):
in the last twelve months and how much money did
it cost. I just thought this was a good one,
because good one, Beck, the Queen of Marketplace, is actually
Miss Jessica Rich.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Marketplace.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Fine, I'm trying.
Speaker 5 (02:58):
I've had some good like fun this year, but I
still think my best find it has not been in
the last twelve months. I when to say, anyway, it
was my I've got a full dinner set from in
the Roundhouse, like pieces, sixteen pieces, how many pieces it is,
And I wanted this specific that they do these beautiful
scollop plates for anyone who doesn't know. And there were
(03:20):
two colors that I really wanted. I still want the
pink and then there's like a white with a red trim.
And I found the exact set that I wanted for
one hundred and twenty dollars. When I think full price
they retail for about two hundred and fifty.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Oh in the box, every single piece.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
The original listing said that it was missing the platter,
and I was like, oh, that's fine, I don't need
the platter. And then when I got it, the platter
was in there. So I don't know what happened, but
literally just thought it was a large plate. Maybe maybe
lucky gal energy was with me because I've been hunting
for that thing.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Goes, how about you?
Speaker 6 (03:52):
Well, this is the thing is that I really am
into metal at the moment, like functional metal, not TACKI metal.
That's like because metals kind of in for like decor
I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
It's kind of in right imagining, like yes, you are
so cute.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
What do you do that?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
It's like okay, you've never been to.
Speaker 6 (04:14):
And that's okay, but no, like you know, like a
metal teapot or something that like, yes, I see, yeah
it was made that way to begin with, like years ago,
because that's kind of the only resource we had, and
like I'm really into that stuff, and so like finding
that now from like older people who don't realize how
cool it is. And so I found this like fruit
bowl that is it's not gonna make sense right now,
(04:37):
but it's like metal, and it like it goes upward
and it just it's almost like a palm.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
It's almost like fingers are holding It's just it was
ten dollars because no one knows that this stuff is
so cool.
Speaker 6 (04:49):
I shouldn't be saying it on here because if it's
like old, you've barely used it. It's from like the
nineteen seventies. It's like a metal fruit bowl that is
so cool and I really want to get my hands
it anyway.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
That I just found that the other day.
Speaker 6 (05:02):
But the greatest thing about the stories that I realized
that we have a suburb called Dallas in Melbourne and
where I picked it up from, and that's my favorite buy.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
That's so good. It was really cool. So metal.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Okay, so this is really niche and you're going to
be like, what the hell, Victoria, I'm really excited about it.
So maybe like three or four months ago, I just
had this flashback memory of an egg maker that I
had when I still lived at home. I haven't lived
at home for like ages now, like I moved out
(05:35):
when I was eighteen, and I remember being like I
had this it was a Sunbeam egg cooker. The bottom
was white, the top was like a yellow, kind of
like completely like transparent yellow. It has little chicken feet.
And it was by Sunbeam and it was like a
snack series thing, so it was like novel tea right,
And inside it it had these cups and you could
(05:58):
poach three eggs without any like you would fill the
base with water, poached the three eggs. If people are listening,
and this triggers a memory, oh my god, it was
so good anyway, So it was this egg poacher thing, right,
and when the eggs are ready, the little egg chirps,
and I was like, oh my god, that would be
so helpful nowadays, because like my son eats a lot
(06:20):
of eggs. I also low key loved that. I ate
a lot of eggs. And I was like, I wonder
if you can still buy it. I Google, you cannot
buy that. You can buy egg poaches. They are a
lot more fancy, They're a lot more durable. This thing
is like quite little, right, like smaller than a football.
Good for storage, good yeah, good for the covered. So
I'm like, oh my god, I need to find this,
and so I looked on marketplace. Absolutely not like this
(06:41):
thing is more than fifteen years old, like not a thing.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Oh wow.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
And then because I'd searched it Marketplace recommended, when one
popped up, said you might like you know, it's like
it sends you like listings. Anyway, Robert in New South
Wales was selling one for fifteen dollars new in box.
He'd pulled it out when he moved house. He had
never used it. It came with the novelty egg cups.
And I messaged him so quick. I was like, Hi, Robert,
(07:06):
miss me. It's me. I'll buy this from you, but
I'm happy to pay whatever in shipping you're in New
South Wales And he was like, oh, I'll just go
to the post office. Ten dollars eighty later it was
shipped to my house by Robert, who looked like he
joined Facebook before it existed. And I've got my egg poacher.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Ah, that is real.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
That is my favorite thing. And I think it cost
me about thirty dollars in total. That's so cool, vintch
find that's so fun. I'll post a picture of it
online because it's actually like the cutest thing ever. But
it was like in this series that had the egg Poacher,
there was like a fairy floss machine was a I
think I had the fairy popcorn maker.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Yeah, yeah, sounds familiar.
Speaker 6 (07:47):
Yeah, And don't sleep on gum tree because a lot
of those things are probably on gum tree because people
who don't realize marketplaces a thing are the same type
of people selling these old school things.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
True.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
What a fun confo So yeah, anyway, I'm glad that
Grace's burning question because I got to tell you guys
about my egg poacher. You are welcome. I want to
get further into the show, though. Before we get there,
it is time for a five star review? Amazing Are
you ready ready? This one says just lots of love
five stars from Chloe jan long term listener here, smiley face.
(08:19):
It just wanted to write a review to show my
appreciation for your hard work and really solid financial advice.
I've taken on many of your strategies over the years.
A special mention to Beck sayed though the more I
listen to the podcast to the more my love for
her gross. She's so genuine, so vulnerable about her own finances.
Thank you for being so giving with your experience. It
(08:41):
ensures that everyone listening feels heard and seen. No matter
where they are on their financial journey. It also sounds
just like a really cool person. Smiley face.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
So yes, thank you, thank you so much. Da, It's
so nice. Oh my god, you actually read my heart reach.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
I love the addition of you actually sound like a
really cool person. She is, I'll ever be Ever, that's
not true.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
That's you're true.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
That are just inherently cool. I've got to try to
be cool. And even then my sister's like, sit.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
That's not true, Victoria. I would, I would say, you're
call to the core.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
But moving on, tell me more about the community, miss Jessegarich.
When it comes to community, money, wins and confessions, what
are you bringing to the table?
Speaker 5 (09:27):
All right? First of this week, Amanda has the money
when she went out for dinner and found a pub
where kids eat free.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Okay, that is a good deal. In twenty twenty four, thirty.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
Two dollars in kids meals, which included a drink and
ice cream.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
What sign me up for that?
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Yes, here's a point. Can you go? Oh just gives
me all thanks.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
I'm really young, amoside. I promise I am not yet mature. Next,
I've got a money win from Anya, he said, money win.
I hit ten thousand dollars invested between Chersias and Vanguard,
She's hit five. I know she would have imagined that
she could do that with savings aside too.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
That's going to be soon. I know you're a huge progress.
Beck has just hit more than one thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
That's amazing.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Energy.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Sorry, who was.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Going to say, oh, miss Beck sayed has more than
a thousand dollars invested in less than twelve months. Crazy,
but she's rich now, I guess you could say that, yeah,
one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Well done.
Speaker 5 (10:25):
Next, I've got a money win from Ballot, who said
she hit her emergency savings goal this week. She's been
pouring every extra dollar she has in since January and
finally reached three months of her earnings set aside.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Incredible, people are.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Kicking goals towards the into the year.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Well done, totally.
Speaker 5 (10:39):
Next, I've got a money win from Renee who said
she invested in three bee hives and now she has
a side hustle selling honey.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
And she provided us a video of said honey.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
It looks very beautiful.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Very that is so wholesome. I know, last week we
were talking about cows. This week we're talking about getting
bees sleeping. I just do you guys want to get farm?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
I was loved nothing more.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Yeah, I like that.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Yeah chickens. Can we get duck?
Speaker 4 (11:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Absolutely, I really want a pet duck.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
We can get ducks.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
You are really cool.
Speaker 5 (11:08):
Last of this week, I've got a money winter from Tests,
who said she was looking at new light fittings last
week on Temple and Webster. They were ninety nine dollars each.
She looked again this morning after putting a bit of
time between her and her spending, and they were reduced
to seventy nine dollars. She said she'll be saving approximately
sixty dollars across all of the lights that she has
to buy, which is proof that resisting impulse buying is
a good thing.
Speaker 6 (11:29):
Gorgeous, well done, Tests, Yes, good twenty four hour trick.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
It always works, that's it.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Which will be very.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Very proud of you one thousand percent. But you know
what else I want, Miss becsay Ed's broke tips, and
I give those to you.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I give it to you right now.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Oh, look at her coming up.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Okay, So this.
Speaker 6 (11:44):
First one comes from Francis, who says the way I
save money on growthries is by having a three week
roster on a white board in my kitchen with twenty
one dinners Blue week, Red week, Green week, then we
cycle back to the start. This means I have my
shopping list prepped ahead of time, and I always know
what I need to buy, so I can get extra
when things are on special, being confident that it will
(12:05):
get used and there is not going to be any wasted.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
That's actually so smart.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
And the next one comes from Ness who says, I
take my tod the Taikia for a fun morning out.
A lot of the rooms are set up for pretend
play for kids. Also meals half priced on Fridays and
already so cheap anyway, there was also a free place
center for kids at the front of the store with little.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Play kitchens and soft toys.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
That's a great I know. That's actually wish that she'd
reminded me of that, not in November, but more like
in June when it started raining and I didn't know
what to do with my crazy eighteen months off.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Yeah, that's it, but free.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
Totally occupy your home, loving thirty one year old friend.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Did I care for many hours on the weekend.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I'll be swinging past Jess's place picking her up, and
her and Harvey are having a play date and I
care he's going to crawl around and she's a cart.
Speaker 6 (12:53):
Just a really quick mantion. Nessays that she did end
up buying the Gigantic Bear, which I always always you
guys know that big brown bear. It is so hard
to walk away from it. Yeah, one thousand percent. And
anytime you go, I think Jess is on the same
page as me.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
But anytime you go to Ikea, you must take home
a bag of frozen meat balls. Yes, they're mashed potato,
they're like sauce, and they're gravy. Because nothing hits different
than Ikea Swedish meat balls. They're actually really budget friendly
as well. And sorry, quick meal from the freezer, we
love it. Gorgeous Ikea meal prepping sligh.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Maybe we'll get some of those today. So this next
one comes from me.
Speaker 6 (13:30):
When you book a holiday, you have flights in accommodation
and you have to change your plans at the last minute,
and there's like, you know, you can't get refund YadA, YadA, YadA,
you lose your money.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
So bad deal.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Money is bad. That's bad. It's bad. That's like losing
money in this house.
Speaker 6 (13:44):
But there's actually a website like Transferred Travel, spare Fare,
and cancelo that are basically secondhand marketplaces for travel.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
So if you're someone looking for like a cheap travel situation,
or you're someone.
Speaker 6 (13:58):
Who needs to sell the travel plan, yeah, then it's
like you just get to buy someone else's holiday for
a lot cheaper. So you can list your unwanted holidays
and recoup some of the costs, or you can buy
other people's holidays and its counting.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
That is very clever, so genius.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
How do you.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
Transfer things into somebody else's name?
Speaker 3 (14:16):
I actually don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
I think you had to.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Pay to teach you.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Yeah, but accommodation or something. Yeah, it's fine.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
I don't know how it works, but do you know
what it reminds me of. This was actually a trip
that Jess and I were meant to go on to
Sydney a while ago, just for work, and then something
came up really last minute, and we were like, we
have to cancel that because we've got to do this
other thing. And I was reading the terms and conditions
of the hotel that we were going to stay at
and it said no cancelations. With less than forty eight
hours notice. And I was like, ah, like you would
(14:44):
like fourfeit all of it, and this is probably going
to make me look like a really dodgy human being.
But I mean, if it helps you and it helped me,
does that really mean that I'm dodgy? So I didn't
cancel it. I called them up and then I picked
a random day, like two months in advance, and say, hey,
can I just move my booking? And then they said yes,
(15:05):
and they were really nice about it. And then I
called back the next day and I canceled the book here.
That's genius, and they gave me a full refund with
no questions lasked. I just had my fingers crossed that
it was a different girl on reception perfect.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
That's genius.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
But yeah, that worked. So if it says like less
than forty eight hours notice no cancelations, well I'm not canceling.
I'm just like changing my thing. And I was like, hey,
can you just change it to like, you know, the
end of November and she was like yeah, no worries,
like rebooked, you're in on the thirtieth or whatever, and
I was like yep, thanks so much. And then the
next thing, I said, Hey, so I made a booking
for the thirtieth and I actually don't need it anymore.
She's like, oh, you've got heaps of notice, no worries.
We'll just cancel that and you'll get a full refund.
(15:40):
And I was like, oh, thanks so much. That's really
cool for you to do that for me.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
That's so smart.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
So that's like a little like a sprinkle on the
top for your broke tips.
Speaker 6 (15:47):
Totally don't d don't be dodgy, but like B like VD,
yeah seriously, Oh that's gorgeous.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Yeah, well that's me.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Yeah, anyway, I feel like that's really good. Let's go
to a really quick break because I'm very excited to
help you guys answer money dilemma about whether you should
be salary sacrificing into your super or you should be
focusing on your other goals and something you're leading to
our dms about which or I just have thoughts, feelings,
and opinions. A spicy sibling drama about your sister getting
money that isn't being given to you. Guys, don't go anywhere.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's
money dilemma.
Speaker 7 (16:26):
Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just
can't solve. The Sheese on the Money team is here
to help.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Every week, we.
Speaker 7 (16:33):
Tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your
most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved,
simply head to our website and leave us a short
voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 8 (16:50):
Hi guys, my question is around whether it is better
to salary sacrifice into SUPER or put that money towards
home deposit. At the moment, I'm in a position within
my career where I earn enough to comfortably afford to
salary sacrifice into my SUPER and max it out every year.
(17:11):
At the same time, I'm currently saving for a home deposit,
and if I don't salary sacrifice into my SUPER, I
expect to have decent to posit together within a year
and could borrow a decent amount for decent enough property.
So my question is would it be better in the
long run to max out SUPER knowing that it could
(17:35):
potentially affect my borrowing power and delay my savings goal,
or wait until I have purchased a property and then
salary sacrifice into my super thank you.
Speaker 6 (17:46):
Oh, I would say property first because you never know
if the property prices will rise.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
But the other thing I'm thinking you could do that.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
First home the first time statistame.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Per save scheme. You've got to really quick scheme. Yeah,
that's really good, Cob.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
They came out so you know how many times a
week I say that, It's actually like I should have canceled.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
That's crazy, that's all You're so good at it. No, no,
So this is my question. Can you do the first
serves scheme?
Speaker 6 (18:18):
If you pay super before tags, which is sealary sacrifice
or after it was either all well.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
It's either all so it just can't be your your
workplace contributions, so your like mandated twelve percent doesn't count.
Does any type of additional contribution You could go back
and be like, hey, could I please access that? So,
whether it was you setting up an additional salary sacrifice
with your employer and saying hey, could you do an
additional two percent or could you do fifty bucks a
week or whatever, that looks like that can be leaned
(18:47):
on for first time Super Savis game. But then on
the flip side, you could also be like, oh my gosh,
I have some extra cash and I want to chuck
that into my super to make the most of the
first time Super Savis scheme or the FHSS, which feels
a little bit less aggressive.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
But that's what you did, Jess. You had your house.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Savings and then hypothetically you got some very legitimate financial
advice not from your friend, and then you made lump
some deposits into that. Because what would happen then is, yes,
it's after tax, but come tax time, Jess would have
put it on her tax return that she'd done that,
and then she would have got the difference of that
base fifteen percent tax rate inside super back on her
(19:27):
tax return based on what she earns and her MARGINALU tix.
I understand. So it actually doesn't matter how it gets
in as long as it was like a voluntary contribution.
Speaker 6 (19:36):
And is the only benefit to this the tax element,
or is it because I'm thinking limorary benefits.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
The primary benefit is taxed.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
So the first time super Savor scheme exists to put you,
as a first home buyer in a better financial position.
So the way that it works is it allows you
to use your superranuation environment as a savings tool for
your first home, so you can contra fifteen thousand dollars
each and every single year up to fifty thousand dollars total,
(20:05):
and then instead of paying like, let's pretend, or not
even pretend, I know that most people in our community
have a thirty percent tax rate. So by taking your
savings and putting them inside superannuation and then pulling them
back out later for your first home, you're going to
get fifteen percent immediately back on that money. Because supernuation
(20:28):
tax rate fifteen percent your actual tax rate thirty percent,
you get a refund and so you end up coming
out of the wash with more cash for your first home.
I'd say one of the government's ways of getting first
home buys into their homes a little bit quicker. That's clever,
that's very It is capped. But like if you're buying
with a partner, yes, you only have access to fifty
(20:50):
thousand dollars in your super but like, let's pretend you
and Jess were doing it. Actually you couldn't do it
because your partner, Jess already owns an apartment. Are hypothetically
if she didn't, you could then have one hundred thousand
dollars a cross both of your circumstances, and on fifty
thousand dollars each, in the long run, you actually end
up I believe, about nine and a half thousand dollars
better off individually. So you'd be in like, what nineteen
(21:13):
thousand dollars better off as a couple.
Speaker 6 (21:15):
And do you get the gains on that money as
well as that you do it two thousand or you do?
Do you get your returns interest returns? It just depends
how long it's been in there. Yes, sure, Yeah, it's
taxed on my house, but still free money. Sorry, sorry,
money is money. Yeah, Like we're not complaining. So when
we pay tax, it's because we made money. Yes, they're
not going to tax you on money you didn't make exactly.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
You can't come back in the native tax me.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
It's very sexy.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Love it, love it, love.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Itess Like I want my tax to be really high.
Like I want to tell you, I don't want to
brag about my tax return because I'd be like, look.
Speaker 6 (21:45):
What I did well in this case, because I guess
like in the long run, it doesn't really affect your
super as much. But I think you should prioritize property,
but you can still do it in this way that
doesn't actually like boost your super at the.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
End of it all, I'm assuming no, but you could.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
Like split it. You could split it so you can
contribute up to fifteen thousand dollars a year to the
first home Super Savor scheme, and hypothetically if you had more,
which are unrelatable, but whatever, if you had more, that
additional amount could still be going towards your Super. But
don't forget you have a thirty thousand dollar cap each
year of what you can contribute to super in total.
There's lots of rules and regulations around that. You and
(22:21):
I just recorded the second part of our Subranuation series
and that's coming out in a couple of weeks, So
I'll make sure that our first part is linked in
the show notes and the second part you can keep
your eyes peeled for. But your employer's contributions make up
part of that thirty percent. So let's say like you
go to work every day and your Superanuation contributions from
(22:42):
your employer nine and a half thousand dollars per year.
That takes up part of your thirty thousand contributions, then
maybe your fifteen thousand in home savings, you don't actually
have a lot of more wiggle room before you incur
more tax Is that unrelatable because most of us can't
contribute that. Yes, But like those are the rules and
reg relations. What I would say is the important thing
(23:04):
about the first time Super Savor scheme is that once
you put it in, if it's not being withdrawn for property,
it does get taxed on the way out and you're
not going to end up in a better position. So
if you're planning on pulling it out, haha, you can't
unless it's for property. So if it's other goals that
aren't property related, I would be considering seriously not using
(23:27):
Super as a vehicle for that. And I will tell
you on our second part of this Super episode. Personally,
I don't make additional contributions to Super to top up
my retirement because I have very grand plans of retiring
before the age of sixty five. So like you guys,
take that however you wish, or just just any additionals no,
(23:48):
nothing for me.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
I think.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Can you just say, first time Super, I have a
game really.
Speaker 4 (23:51):
Quick, I'd forget it.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
It's car so quick.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
All right, guys, I'm excited for this one because I
am opinionated, and I think you guys are going to
be too. So are you ready for the DM we
got this week? Ready?
Speaker 7 (24:11):
Hi?
Speaker 3 (24:12):
She's on the money team. I have a little bit
of a money dilemma for you. My younger sister is
engaged and currently making wedding preparations. I found out recently
that my parents are paying for the entire wedding. My
long term partner and I decided long ago that we
will not be getting married or having kids, as that's
just not what feels right for us. My parents are
(24:32):
fully aware of this. It is unlikely that I would
bother broaching the subject with them, as I know their
response would be just something along the lines of, well,
if you get married to will pay for your wedding too.
I would love to know y'all's thoughts on whether or
not it would be fair for my parents to financially
assist me in other ways, considering I don't have any
plans to get married.
Speaker 6 (24:51):
Big yes, personally, and I understand that like no one
actually owes anyone money, So if they paid for your
sister's wedding. It still feels unfair, but it's like I
think that it's different if it's like, oh, my assistant
needed surgery and they paid for a surgery and then
and then I'd be like, oh, they.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Don't know anything.
Speaker 6 (25:05):
But like there's something that always gets to me about
like this tradition that is just like it is really cool,
really beautiful, Like weddings have just been around since as
long as I can remember. But I don't I don't
think we need to get married. I think it was
like something that was just like kind of you know,
maybe it.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Was religious, maybe it was born out of religion.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
I'm sure transfer the ownership of a woman from her
father to he house.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
But thank you Jess exactly. And that's what I try
and say, and that I don't want to like sound
my heart.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
My husband didn't even get a dowry when he married me.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Well that's the thing.
Speaker 6 (25:31):
And it's like and so the dad walks the doughter
down like here's this is your property now, and like
that's the thing. It's like a transfer of ownership and
it's like, Okay, we're way beyond that now, which is great,
but it's like you know, but we still get married,
and I think that's that's really beautiful.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
But we don't need to.
Speaker 6 (25:44):
So I feel like, like I have friends I probably
won't get married. I have a lot of friends who
probably won't get married. One of my friends is like,
I'm not having children, but I still don't have a party.
So I'm going to have a non children party and
a non marriage party because we deserve.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Gifts just as much as ever anyone else.
Speaker 6 (25:58):
But I understand that if you're spending a lot of
money on a ceremony, then you know, it's really nice
if people kind of like contribute to your life moving forward,
which is lovely. But I don't think it's an essential thing.
Some people want it to be. Some people are quite religious,
and it is an essential thing. But because it's so
like it's so you don't have to do it, you
(26:19):
don't want to be not that you're directly being like
punished for not doing it, but to see that something
that your sister doesn't need to do is it's being
funded and like this is a big party to celebrate
her and her love and all this kind of stuff,
and you don't want to do that because you were like,
what does it actually mean for me. It doesn't mean
anything for me, so why would I do it? And
(26:41):
then you know, so I think that like having this
conversation with your parents and be like what is marriage?
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Like why marriage? What the hell does it mean? Why
we are doing it?
Speaker 6 (26:52):
And why do you just like give money so much
money away without even thinking about what it is and
why it's happening. So I think like if your parents
could understand that you've kind of like seen through all
of that and you're like, oh, it's not really for me.
It's just a waste of money or whatever it is.
Whatever that looks like it's not really important for you.
But you are still doing things that should be valued
(27:15):
as highly as a wedding because you love someone so much.
But maybe you're maybe you want to open a studio
and have like a creative art space, maybe you want
to start your own business, maybe you want to go
on a trip. All these things should be This is
what really annoys me is that like all these things
that we do for ourselves and for the people we love,
just like no one places any value on it. But
it's you get married and everyone's like, oh my god,
(27:38):
it's such an achievement, but it's also an achievement to
do all these other little things, not little things. I
shouldn't say little, they're all big. But I think if
you explain that to your parents, like I did this
thing which was really cool, I did that by myself.
I did this thing that was really cool. No one
helped me funder that. It's like if you kind of
explain that, they don't know it to you, but it
will build resentment within you. And we're just trying to
(27:59):
avoid the resentment. It's all I trying to say. But
everything that we all do is valuable, including getting married,
including not getting married.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
I think it's also a different tangent than like do
they owe you that, because it's all about well, you know,
the way you're seeing marriage and the way that your
views are on that, because like, as someone who is married,
like I look at it and go, oh my god,
Like I did not get married because I want to
submit to my husband and all of that, and like,
if you know my relationship, well enough, unlucky guy, I
(28:27):
refuse to take his name. I made sure that our
kids had our name. Sorry, mate, you want to be
a divine, well, if you want to marry me, that's
the rules.
Speaker 6 (28:35):
It's weird that it's just like, by default the opposite,
and it's like cooled if it's not.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
You know what I mean, it's like, yeah, no, it
should just be.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
It can be anything on your terms. It doesn't mean
you have to get married. You don't have to. Lots
of people I know don't. But it's more like, I
guess the underlying question here is not whether your choices
are valid, but like, should your parents be funding your life? Jess,
what would you do?
Speaker 5 (28:55):
Yeah, it's something I've been reflected on a lot, exactly
if you're kind of touching I'm bet as someone who
is not really following that traditional pathway. I don't know
that i'll have kids, I don't know that I'll care
to get married, you know where a lot of my
friends have ticked those more traditional quote unquote accomplishments. And
there's something just in reflecting I think on the fact that,
as you said, we celebrate these milestones, but not everybody
(29:17):
will will want to pursue those.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
Yeah, it's only recently.
Speaker 5 (29:21):
That same sex couples were able to get married. To
a very long time that wasn't even an option for people,
you know, and I think that there's something to be said,
not that celebration or the things that come with that,
like the gifting, the money, etc. Not that it has
to be reciprocal or equal. That's not what I'm getting at.
But I do think that for people who choose less
(29:42):
traditional pathways, it can be really hard to feel like
you're not being celebrated or not achieving things that people
view as valuable. I think it's great that you're choosing
your own path, and I think that you're totally right.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
My only.
Speaker 5 (29:58):
Qualm I suppose is that, as you you said, you're
not owed something, and like I think it's really generous
and it is somewhat traditional that the parents want to
pay for or contribute to the wedding. It's hard because
I don't think you can necessarily turn around and say, well,
you've paid for something for one person you have to pay.
In an ideal world, yes, it would all be fair,
but at the same time, you know, I've also said
(30:19):
on this show before, like nobody owes anybody anything, like
you shouldn't expect your parents to pay for a wedding,
a house deposit.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Or anything else.
Speaker 5 (30:27):
Do I think that you know there's something to be
said about I do think you should definitely have a
conversation explain the perspective to them of well, I'm never
planning on being married, But does that mean that my
other things that I hope to do, purchasing a house
or traveling or doing whatever, are less valuable and don't
deserve to be You know, I think there is a
lot of gray to play in here, because on one hand,
(30:48):
I very much don't think they owe anything. But on
the other hand, I do also think that there's something
to be said for providing, equally valuing, equally respecting decisions
that your children might make. And I don't really know
that I have a good answer for that, but I
guess my reflection is just very much echoing what you
said back that more and more people are choosing non
(31:10):
traditional pathways, and I think that should be celebrated. Like
I think, just because you don't want to follow the
path that has been laid out for us, particularly as
women for so many generations, you might disagree with marriages
and an institution because of, like you know, the history
of what it means. Yeah, you might want to have
a huge, beautiful wedding because that's fun and exciting, and
both of those things are okay, but like whatever path
(31:33):
you choose should be equally valued by the people around you,
is how I feel.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Totally.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
I am so glad that both of you were like
so kind in your responses, and I echo all of that,
like I agree and would like to cut and paste
what you've said into my response, But then I'm also
going to say something that could get me canceled. And
that's perfectly okay, because like I sometimes see myself as
like your big sister when it comes to money, and
like you don't always want to hear what you big
(32:00):
sisters got to say, but sometimes it's really helpful, and
I think that's really entitled. I just look at it
and I go, your parents are choosing to do something
with their money. It is their choice. I can completely
see that you might go, oh, well, that's unfair because
I didn't get what they got. Why no, no care
(32:20):
about your own financial security, build your own financial future.
I personally wouldn't mention it. And that's why I'm saying,
like I could get ganceled, you can do whatever you want.
It can feel unfair, but also the spending that your
parents make is in line with their values, and if
they made the choice to help you with something big,
(32:41):
I'm sure they would broach that. I don't think you
need to jump up and down and say, hey, please
value my life as much as this. I also think
that sometimes we forget how much they might have contributed
to other things growing up. Like there's this really good
I don't know if it's a quote, but it's all
about how even in the same household, children don't experience
(33:03):
the same parents. So like when one day I have
more children, like the parenting that my next child gets
in comparison to Harvey is not going to be the same.
Their experiences are coming from different lenses. They are different people.
They will be treated differently, not because it's not fair,
but just because one might have a learning difficulty and
(33:23):
I need to invest more in their tutoring than the other.
Or one might really love football and I invest in,
you know, making sure they go through that, and the
other ones to stay home play video game. Like you
are going to have different experiences and equal doesn't mean
a dollar amount from my perspective, like I think I
would be you know, if I extrapolate this out even
(33:44):
just to a work sense, right, like if I go
down to the cafe with Jess at lunchtime and I
buy her coffee and then she comes up to goes,
oh my god, money, when V brought me coffee? Would
you turn around and go, well, why did she get coffee?
I want a coffee? Like it just is that sense
of entitlement that it's like I do feel like overtime,
these things ebb and flow, and like, you know what,
(34:05):
we hear it in the community all the time. And
you know what, the most stereotypical thing is when the
older sister is complaining about the younger brother, They're like,
oh my god, Like I had to work for bloody
everything I got, Like I got my first job, I
did this, I saved up for my first car, I
bought it. And then for my brother's eighteenth birthday, he
just got gifted a car.
Speaker 6 (34:25):
What the heck?
Speaker 3 (34:25):
Like, I'm not saying that any of these things are right,
but I think we need to kind of stay in
our own lane. And the most healthy approach to this
is like work on your own financial confidence and your
own financial independence and like celebrate the choices that you've
made because they were the right ones for you. Like
you're not going to get married, and I know that
your parents are saying they would come back and be like, well,
(34:46):
Jess Curry, if you got married, would pay for your bidding.
Don't worry. That is not a reflection of how much
they care about you. That is a reflection of their values.
And maybe they're really outdated stereotypes based on weddings that
your dad should be paying for your wedding, do you
know what I mean? Like, I just don't think it's
a reflection of your parents not caring or loving for you.
And if you distill that down to finances, I kind
(35:07):
of go, what the heck, that's not what life's about. Sure,
I don't know. I just feel like it's there's so
many ways that you could look at it so exactly.
And I'm not saying that I don't agree with the
two of you who had much kinder responses, but I
was like, can we just talk about this entitlement piece,
because like, I do know someone like that and they're like, oh, well,
my parents spent X and they literally go and ask
their parents for the same similar cash amount and I go,
(35:31):
that's because I benefited the parents. Yeah, Like that's it
just gives me the ick, Like I just really don't
like it. And maybe that's just because again I'm so
black and white that I'm like, there's right and there's Well,
that doesn't mean I can't live in the gray and
give you context, but I also think does that resonate?
If so, maybe take that with a grain of salt
(35:52):
as well.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
What did everybody else think? I feel like there's gonna
be lots of There was, and there was.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
It was a little bit spicy. So the first question
I asked was, guys, how would you handle this situation.
Forty four percent of you said, let it go, it's
their choice, twenty seven percent said have a conversation about fairness,
twenty one percent of you would ask for the same
amount for another milestone, and nine percent said I'd be
quietly resentful. Next question I asked was should the money
(36:19):
a parent gives for a wedding be matched with the
same amount for siblings who choose not to marry? And
this is pretty fifty to fifty fifty one percent of
you said yep, it's only fair. Forty nine percent of
you said, no, weddings are different interesting, And then I said,
what's your two cents? And you, guys, let it rip?
So first person said, my parents raised us on the
basis of what they do for one child, they will
(36:41):
always do for all Cool. But that's where the argument
of like your parents go, will beck, if you want
to get married, we'd pay for your wedding.
Speaker 6 (36:48):
Yeah, we'd do that for you too. I'd be like,
here's a chunk of money. You can use it for
a wedding, you can use that for a business, you
can use that for a travel Yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
I quite like that idea, do you know?
Speaker 5 (36:57):
I think there's something having a conversation with them and
just asking why is the wedding the thing that you
think is worth fun? Is it that outdated? You feel
like it's your responsibility to pay. Like, our parents are
of an age where they do come from a different time,
and I think there's something in just having the conversation
to understand their perspective, not necessarily to change it.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Yes, that's true for me.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
I just look at it and go, oh, okay, So
your parents are probably spending their money in line with
their values, and like that's a good thing. Next person said,
parents are emotionally driven when investing in a wedding. There
is a very big social aspect to that. Not money.
Speaker 4 (37:31):
Ah, that does make sense. Yeah, that's a great point.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
Next person, Financial help should be provided if and when
it's needed. It doesn't need to be dollar for dollar equal.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
Sure, that's fair.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
Next person said, weddings should not be the only thing
that is celebrated in our lives, and our parents should
learn to match.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
Another person said, who's to say you won't get married
in twenty years? Things could absolutely change. It's also a
fat take. Then I've got a little too parter. Often
parents want their kids to get married, so they're happy
to put that bill. Some want kids to buy homes,
so they gift a house deposit. Everybody is different. And
then I have three more for you. I have one
(38:09):
more two parter. Someone said, so, before becoming a parent,
I would have totally thought it was unfair and that
they should be compensated in another way. But now as
a parent, I know that I don't owe my kids
any money at all. And then the last one is
equality versus equity. If you're not having a wedding or
a baby, then you actually don't need help with that expense.
(38:30):
Why are you asking? Oh that makes sense to actually yeah,
so yeah, but that's why it's so nuanced. Yeah, but
like I actually kind of like that. Your parents have said,
our values are if you choose to get married, we
are happy to put that bill. Yes, Like we're not gifting.
Like I think in the flip side, your parents could
turn around and say, well, Jessica's getting married. If she
(38:50):
asked us for twenty thousand dollars, we'd say no. But
if she's getting married, we will put that bill because
that's aligned to our values and our goals and what
we want to be spending our money on. But if
she chooses not to get marrible, we're not funding it.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Well, that's true. And I guess it's like, are you
gonna have a birthday party this year? Yes, well I
pay for it. If you don't, then.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
I'm not paying for your birthday listen movie not getting
cash instead?
Speaker 2 (39:10):
Yeah yeah yeah, And.
Speaker 6 (39:11):
After the wedding, they're not going to have cash to show,
but they're not going to be better off they just
paid for the wedding.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
I guess it okay, but again it's.
Speaker 3 (39:18):
Just about like, let's really thinking this through. And I
think that's where you know, when I distell it down,
maybe it's because I've had so many conversations, and maybe
I have been privy to a lot of entitlement throughout
my career, and that's because I worked in the ultra
high net wealth space, And like, I cannot tell you
how many times I've wanted to fly across a table
and fly kick someone because I'm like, can you not
(39:40):
see the privilege that you have? And you're still complaining? Like,
I don't know, I just maybe that's coming out of
me in a little bit of a spicy way today.
So maybe I need to go to McDonald's and get
a really crispy coking cold.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
All right, Well that's the end of the show.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
Then, guys, thank you so much for sticking around for
another Friday episode, and we'll see you bright and early
on Monday day morning for a money diary, Bye Buys.
Speaker 7 (40:08):
The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
If you do choose to buy a financial product, read
the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards
(40:29):
your needs Victoria divine and she's on the money. Are
authorized representatives of money sheper pty Ltd.
Speaker 3 (40:36):
ABN three two one six four nine two seven seven
zero eight AFSL four five one two eight nine
My name is Tatasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations
woman and I'm here to acknowledge country t Glenn Young
Ganya Niana, kaka ya Ya bin Ahaka nian Ar gay
In Nimbina yakarum jar dominyamiga Umagahawakaman damon imlan Wumba bang
Gadabomba in and now in wakah ghana on yakraum jar Watnadaa. Hello,
(00:22):
beautiful friends, we gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people.
We thank I acknowledge and respect the Aberiginal people's land
that we're gathering on today. Take pleasure in all the
land and respect all that you see. She's on the
Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections, bringing you
the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
that makes personal finance fun, especially on Fridays. It is
our favorite day of the week because I get to
get my team together and celebrate you our incredible She's
on the Money. Community is Jess Garricky's That sounds weird.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I can't say it that way.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
That's how you say it when you're just normally talking.
That's how the people want me to say it. I
can't do that enough. Just Reach is going to be
sharing our favorite money wins. Miss beck Sayeed is back
and she's going to be sharing her broke tips, and
we're going to be helping to answer a juicy money
dilemma about whether you should be salary sacrificing into your
super or focusing on other goals. And something that you
(01:48):
slid into our DMS about a spicy sibling drama about
your sister getting money that isn't being given to you. Oh,
I just have thoughts and feelings. I believe values about
that one.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
I do.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
I do, and I can't wait to get there. But
before we get there, my friend's team question from the community. Yeah,
I got to ask you a question, but they have
been rolling in hot and heavy. Apparently the community have
a lot of questions for you guys, And if you
didn't listen to last week's show, I've started a new
segment and instead of saying to my team, how are you,
(02:23):
I say, hey, here's a question from our community, and
I don't give them any warning. Yes, it's my favorite
part about it. So I've been putting out a call
for all your burning questions for jess and Beck and
I might even get involved sometimes, and they've been rolling in.
So this week's question is from our friend Grace, and
Grace wants to know what is your best second hand
slash op shop slash marketplace find that you have found
(02:46):
in the last twelve months and how much money did
it cost. I just thought this was a good one,
because good one, Beck, the Queen of Marketplace, is actually
Miss Jessica Rich.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Marketplace.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Fine, I'm trying.
Speaker 5 (02:58):
I've had some good like fun this year, but I
still think my best find it has not been in
the last twelve months. I when to say, anyway, it
was my I've got a full dinner set from in
the Roundhouse, like pieces, sixteen pieces, how many pieces it is,
And I wanted this specific that they do these beautiful
scollop plates for anyone who doesn't know. And there were
(03:20):
two colors that I really wanted. I still want the
pink and then there's like a white with a red trim.
And I found the exact set that I wanted for
one hundred and twenty dollars. When I think full price
they retail for about two hundred and fifty.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Oh in the box, every single piece.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
The original listing said that it was missing the platter,
and I was like, oh, that's fine, I don't need
the platter. And then when I got it, the platter
was in there. So I don't know what happened, but
literally just thought it was a large plate. Maybe maybe
lucky gal energy was with me because I've been hunting
for that thing.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Goes, how about you?
Speaker 6 (03:52):
Well, this is the thing is that I really am
into metal at the moment, like functional metal, not TACKI metal.
That's like because metals kind of in for like decor
I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
It's kind of in right imagining, like yes, you are
so cute.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
What do you do that?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
It's like okay, you've never been to.
Speaker 6 (04:14):
And that's okay, but no, like you know, like a
metal teapot or something that like, yes, I see, yeah
it was made that way to begin with, like years ago,
because that's kind of the only resource we had, and
like I'm really into that stuff, and so like finding
that now from like older people who don't realize how
cool it is. And so I found this like fruit
bowl that is it's not gonna make sense right now,
(04:37):
but it's like metal, and it like it goes upward
and it just it's almost like a palm.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
It's almost like fingers are holding It's just it was
ten dollars because no one knows that this stuff is
so cool.
Speaker 6 (04:49):
I shouldn't be saying it on here because if it's
like old, you've barely used it. It's from like the
nineteen seventies. It's like a metal fruit bowl that is
so cool and I really want to get my hands
it anyway.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
That I just found that the other day.
Speaker 6 (05:02):
But the greatest thing about the stories that I realized
that we have a suburb called Dallas in Melbourne and
where I picked it up from, and that's my favorite buy.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
That's so good. It was really cool. So metal.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Okay, so this is really niche and you're going to
be like, what the hell, Victoria, I'm really excited about it.
So maybe like three or four months ago, I just
had this flashback memory of an egg maker that I
had when I still lived at home. I haven't lived
at home for like ages now, like I moved out
(05:35):
when I was eighteen, and I remember being like I
had this it was a Sunbeam egg cooker. The bottom
was white, the top was like a yellow, kind of
like completely like transparent yellow. It has little chicken feet.
And it was by Sunbeam and it was like a
snack series thing, so it was like novel tea right,
And inside it it had these cups and you could
(05:58):
poach three eggs without any like you would fill the
base with water, poached the three eggs. If people are listening,
and this triggers a memory, oh my god, it was
so good anyway, So it was this egg poacher thing, right,
and when the eggs are ready, the little egg chirps,
and I was like, oh my god, that would be
so helpful nowadays, because like my son eats a lot
(06:20):
of eggs. I also low key loved that. I ate
a lot of eggs. And I was like, I wonder
if you can still buy it. I Google, you cannot
buy that. You can buy egg poaches. They are a
lot more fancy, They're a lot more durable. This thing
is like quite little, right, like smaller than a football.
Good for storage, good yeah, good for the covered. So
I'm like, oh my god, I need to find this,
and so I looked on marketplace. Absolutely not like this
(06:41):
thing is more than fifteen years old, like not a thing.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Oh wow.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
And then because I'd searched it Marketplace recommended, when one
popped up, said you might like you know, it's like
it sends you like listings. Anyway, Robert in New South
Wales was selling one for fifteen dollars new in box.
He'd pulled it out when he moved house. He had
never used it. It came with the novelty egg cups.
And I messaged him so quick. I was like, Hi, Robert,
(07:06):
miss me. It's me. I'll buy this from you, but
I'm happy to pay whatever in shipping you're in New
South Wales And he was like, oh, I'll just go
to the post office. Ten dollars eighty later it was
shipped to my house by Robert, who looked like he
joined Facebook before it existed. And I've got my egg poacher.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Ah, that is real.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
That is my favorite thing. And I think it cost
me about thirty dollars in total. That's so cool, vintch
find that's so fun. I'll post a picture of it
online because it's actually like the cutest thing ever. But
it was like in this series that had the egg Poacher,
there was like a fairy floss machine was a I
think I had the fairy popcorn maker.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Yeah, yeah, sounds familiar.
Speaker 6 (07:47):
Yeah, And don't sleep on gum tree because a lot
of those things are probably on gum tree because people
who don't realize marketplaces a thing are the same type
of people selling these old school things.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
True.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
What a fun confo So yeah, anyway, I'm glad that
Grace's burning question because I got to tell you guys
about my egg poacher. You are welcome. I want to
get further into the show, though. Before we get there,
it is time for a five star review? Amazing Are
you ready ready? This one says just lots of love
five stars from Chloe jan long term listener here, smiley face.
(08:19):
It just wanted to write a review to show my
appreciation for your hard work and really solid financial advice.
I've taken on many of your strategies over the years.
A special mention to Beck sayed though the more I
listen to the podcast to the more my love for
her gross. She's so genuine, so vulnerable about her own finances.
Thank you for being so giving with your experience. It
(08:41):
ensures that everyone listening feels heard and seen. No matter
where they are on their financial journey. It also sounds
just like a really cool person. Smiley face.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
So yes, thank you, thank you so much. Da, It's
so nice. Oh my god, you actually read my heart reach.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
I love the addition of you actually sound like a
really cool person. She is, I'll ever be Ever, that's
not true.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
That's you're true.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
That are just inherently cool. I've got to try to
be cool. And even then my sister's like, sit.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
That's not true, Victoria. I would, I would say, you're
call to the core.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
But moving on, tell me more about the community, miss Jessegarich.
When it comes to community, money, wins and confessions, what
are you bringing to the table?
Speaker 5 (09:27):
All right? First of this week, Amanda has the money
when she went out for dinner and found a pub
where kids eat free.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Okay, that is a good deal. In twenty twenty four, thirty.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
Two dollars in kids meals, which included a drink and
ice cream.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
What sign me up for that?
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Yes, here's a point. Can you go? Oh just gives
me all thanks.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
I'm really young, amoside. I promise I am not yet mature. Next,
I've got a money win from Anya, he said, money win.
I hit ten thousand dollars invested between Chersias and Vanguard,
She's hit five. I know she would have imagined that
she could do that with savings aside too.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
That's going to be soon. I know you're a huge progress.
Beck has just hit more than one thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
That's amazing.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Energy.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Sorry, who was.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Going to say, oh, miss Beck sayed has more than
a thousand dollars invested in less than twelve months. Crazy,
but she's rich now, I guess you could say that, yeah,
one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Well done.
Speaker 5 (10:25):
Next, I've got a money win from Ballot, who said
she hit her emergency savings goal this week. She's been
pouring every extra dollar she has in since January and
finally reached three months of her earnings set aside.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Incredible, people are.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Kicking goals towards the into the year.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Well done, totally.
Speaker 5 (10:39):
Next, I've got a money win from Renee who said
she invested in three bee hives and now she has
a side hustle selling honey.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
And she provided us a video of said honey.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
It looks very beautiful.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Very that is so wholesome. I know, last week we
were talking about cows. This week we're talking about getting
bees sleeping. I just do you guys want to get farm?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
I was loved nothing more.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Yeah, I like that.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Yeah chickens. Can we get duck?
Speaker 4 (11:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Absolutely, I really want a pet duck.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
We can get ducks.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
You are really cool.
Speaker 5 (11:08):
Last of this week, I've got a money winter from Tests,
who said she was looking at new light fittings last
week on Temple and Webster. They were ninety nine dollars each.
She looked again this morning after putting a bit of
time between her and her spending, and they were reduced
to seventy nine dollars. She said she'll be saving approximately
sixty dollars across all of the lights that she has
to buy, which is proof that resisting impulse buying is
a good thing.
Speaker 6 (11:29):
Gorgeous, well done, Tests, Yes, good twenty four hour trick.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
It always works, that's it.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Which will be very.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Very proud of you one thousand percent. But you know
what else I want, Miss becsay Ed's broke tips, and
I give those to you.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I give it to you right now.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Oh, look at her coming up.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Okay, So this.
Speaker 6 (11:44):
First one comes from Francis, who says the way I
save money on growthries is by having a three week
roster on a white board in my kitchen with twenty
one dinners Blue week, Red week, Green week, then we
cycle back to the start. This means I have my
shopping list prepped ahead of time, and I always know
what I need to buy, so I can get extra
when things are on special, being confident that it will
(12:05):
get used and there is not going to be any wasted.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
That's actually so smart.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
And the next one comes from Ness who says, I
take my tod the Taikia for a fun morning out.
A lot of the rooms are set up for pretend
play for kids. Also meals half priced on Fridays and
already so cheap anyway, there was also a free place
center for kids at the front of the store with little.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Play kitchens and soft toys.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
That's a great I know. That's actually wish that she'd
reminded me of that, not in November, but more like
in June when it started raining and I didn't know
what to do with my crazy eighteen months off.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Yeah, that's it, but free.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
Totally occupy your home, loving thirty one year old friend.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Did I care for many hours on the weekend.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I'll be swinging past Jess's place picking her up, and
her and Harvey are having a play date and I
care he's going to crawl around and she's a cart.
Speaker 6 (12:53):
Just a really quick mantion. Nessays that she did end
up buying the Gigantic Bear, which I always always you
guys know that big brown bear. It is so hard
to walk away from it. Yeah, one thousand percent. And
anytime you go, I think Jess is on the same
page as me.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
But anytime you go to Ikea, you must take home
a bag of frozen meat balls. Yes, they're mashed potato,
they're like sauce, and they're gravy. Because nothing hits different
than Ikea Swedish meat balls. They're actually really budget friendly
as well. And sorry, quick meal from the freezer, we
love it. Gorgeous Ikea meal prepping sligh.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Maybe we'll get some of those today. So this next
one comes from me.
Speaker 6 (13:30):
When you book a holiday, you have flights in accommodation
and you have to change your plans at the last minute,
and there's like, you know, you can't get refund YadA, YadA, YadA,
you lose your money.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
So bad deal.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Money is bad. That's bad. It's bad. That's like losing
money in this house.
Speaker 6 (13:44):
But there's actually a website like Transferred Travel, spare Fare,
and cancelo that are basically secondhand marketplaces for travel.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
So if you're someone looking for like a cheap travel situation,
or you're someone.
Speaker 6 (13:58):
Who needs to sell the travel plan, yeah, then it's
like you just get to buy someone else's holiday for
a lot cheaper. So you can list your unwanted holidays
and recoup some of the costs, or you can buy
other people's holidays and its counting.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
That is very clever, so genius.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
How do you.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
Transfer things into somebody else's name?
Speaker 3 (14:16):
I actually don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
I think you had to.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Pay to teach you.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Yeah, but accommodation or something. Yeah, it's fine.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
I don't know how it works, but do you know
what it reminds me of. This was actually a trip
that Jess and I were meant to go on to
Sydney a while ago, just for work, and then something
came up really last minute, and we were like, we
have to cancel that because we've got to do this
other thing. And I was reading the terms and conditions
of the hotel that we were going to stay at
and it said no cancelations. With less than forty eight
hours notice. And I was like, ah, like you would
(14:44):
like fourfeit all of it, and this is probably going
to make me look like a really dodgy human being.
But I mean, if it helps you and it helped me,
does that really mean that I'm dodgy? So I didn't
cancel it. I called them up and then I picked
a random day, like two months in advance, and say, hey,
can I just move my booking? And then they said yes,
(15:05):
and they were really nice about it. And then I
called back the next day and I canceled the book here.
That's genius, and they gave me a full refund with
no questions lasked. I just had my fingers crossed that
it was a different girl on reception perfect.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
That's genius.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
But yeah, that worked. So if it says like less
than forty eight hours notice no cancelations, well I'm not canceling.
I'm just like changing my thing. And I was like, hey,
can you just change it to like, you know, the
end of November and she was like yeah, no worries,
like rebooked, you're in on the thirtieth or whatever, and
I was like yep, thanks so much. And then the
next thing, I said, Hey, so I made a booking
for the thirtieth and I actually don't need it anymore.
She's like, oh, you've got heaps of notice, no worries.
We'll just cancel that and you'll get a full refund.
(15:40):
And I was like, oh, thanks so much. That's really
cool for you to do that for me.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
That's so smart.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
So that's like a little like a sprinkle on the
top for your broke tips.
Speaker 6 (15:47):
Totally don't d don't be dodgy, but like B like VD,
yeah seriously, Oh that's gorgeous.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Yeah, well that's me.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Yeah, anyway, I feel like that's really good. Let's go
to a really quick break because I'm very excited to
help you guys answer money dilemma about whether you should
be salary sacrificing into your super or you should be
focusing on your other goals and something you're leading to
our dms about which or I just have thoughts, feelings,
and opinions. A spicy sibling drama about your sister getting
money that isn't being given to you. Guys, don't go anywhere.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's
money dilemma.
Speaker 7 (16:26):
Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just
can't solve. The Sheese on the Money team is here
to help.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Every week, we.
Speaker 7 (16:33):
Tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your
most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved,
simply head to our website and leave us a short
voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 8 (16:50):
Hi guys, my question is around whether it is better
to salary sacrifice into SUPER or put that money towards
home deposit. At the moment, I'm in a position within
my career where I earn enough to comfortably afford to
salary sacrifice into my SUPER and max it out every year.
(17:11):
At the same time, I'm currently saving for a home deposit,
and if I don't salary sacrifice into my SUPER, I
expect to have decent to posit together within a year
and could borrow a decent amount for decent enough property.
So my question is would it be better in the
long run to max out SUPER knowing that it could
(17:35):
potentially affect my borrowing power and delay my savings goal,
or wait until I have purchased a property and then
salary sacrifice into my super thank you.
Speaker 6 (17:46):
Oh, I would say property first because you never know
if the property prices will rise.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
But the other thing I'm thinking you could do that.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
First home the first time statistame.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Per save scheme. You've got to really quick scheme. Yeah,
that's really good, Cob.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
They came out so you know how many times a
week I say that, It's actually like I should have canceled.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
That's crazy, that's all You're so good at it. No, no,
So this is my question. Can you do the first
serves scheme?
Speaker 6 (18:18):
If you pay super before tags, which is sealary sacrifice
or after it was either all well.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
It's either all so it just can't be your your
workplace contributions, so your like mandated twelve percent doesn't count.
Does any type of additional contribution You could go back
and be like, hey, could I please access that? So,
whether it was you setting up an additional salary sacrifice
with your employer and saying hey, could you do an
additional two percent or could you do fifty bucks a
week or whatever, that looks like that can be leaned
(18:47):
on for first time Super Savis game. But then on
the flip side, you could also be like, oh my gosh,
I have some extra cash and I want to chuck
that into my super to make the most of the
first time Super Savis scheme or the FHSS, which feels
a little bit less aggressive.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
But that's what you did, Jess. You had your house.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Savings and then hypothetically you got some very legitimate financial
advice not from your friend, and then you made lump
some deposits into that. Because what would happen then is, yes,
it's after tax, but come tax time, Jess would have
put it on her tax return that she'd done that,
and then she would have got the difference of that
base fifteen percent tax rate inside super back on her
(19:27):
tax return based on what she earns and her MARGINALU tix.
I understand. So it actually doesn't matter how it gets
in as long as it was like a voluntary contribution.
Speaker 6 (19:36):
And is the only benefit to this the tax element,
or is it because I'm thinking limorary benefits.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
The primary benefit is taxed.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
So the first time super Savor scheme exists to put you,
as a first home buyer in a better financial position.
So the way that it works is it allows you
to use your superranuation environment as a savings tool for
your first home, so you can contra fifteen thousand dollars
each and every single year up to fifty thousand dollars total,
(20:05):
and then instead of paying like, let's pretend, or not
even pretend, I know that most people in our community
have a thirty percent tax rate. So by taking your
savings and putting them inside superannuation and then pulling them
back out later for your first home, you're going to
get fifteen percent immediately back on that money. Because supernuation
(20:28):
tax rate fifteen percent your actual tax rate thirty percent,
you get a refund and so you end up coming
out of the wash with more cash for your first home.
I'd say one of the government's ways of getting first
home buys into their homes a little bit quicker. That's clever,
that's very It is capped. But like if you're buying
with a partner, yes, you only have access to fifty
(20:50):
thousand dollars in your super but like, let's pretend you
and Jess were doing it. Actually you couldn't do it
because your partner, Jess already owns an apartment. Are hypothetically
if she didn't, you could then have one hundred thousand
dollars a cross both of your circumstances, and on fifty
thousand dollars each, in the long run, you actually end
up I believe, about nine and a half thousand dollars
better off individually. So you'd be in like, what nineteen
(21:13):
thousand dollars better off as a couple.
Speaker 6 (21:15):
And do you get the gains on that money as
well as that you do it two thousand or you do?
Do you get your returns interest returns? It just depends
how long it's been in there. Yes, sure, Yeah, it's
taxed on my house, but still free money. Sorry, sorry,
money is money. Yeah, Like we're not complaining. So when
we pay tax, it's because we made money. Yes, they're
not going to tax you on money you didn't make exactly.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
You can't come back in the native tax me.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
It's very sexy.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Love it, love it, love.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Itess Like I want my tax to be really high.
Like I want to tell you, I don't want to
brag about my tax return because I'd be like, look.
Speaker 6 (21:45):
What I did well in this case, because I guess
like in the long run, it doesn't really affect your
super as much. But I think you should prioritize property,
but you can still do it in this way that
doesn't actually like boost your super at the.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
End of it all, I'm assuming no, but you could.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
Like split it. You could split it so you can
contribute up to fifteen thousand dollars a year to the
first home Super Savor scheme, and hypothetically if you had more,
which are unrelatable, but whatever, if you had more, that
additional amount could still be going towards your Super. But
don't forget you have a thirty thousand dollar cap each
year of what you can contribute to super in total.
There's lots of rules and regulations around that. You and
(22:21):
I just recorded the second part of our Subranuation series
and that's coming out in a couple of weeks, So
I'll make sure that our first part is linked in
the show notes and the second part you can keep
your eyes peeled for. But your employer's contributions make up
part of that thirty percent. So let's say like you
go to work every day and your Superanuation contributions from
(22:42):
your employer nine and a half thousand dollars per year.
That takes up part of your thirty thousand contributions, then
maybe your fifteen thousand in home savings, you don't actually
have a lot of more wiggle room before you incur
more tax Is that unrelatable because most of us can't
contribute that. Yes, But like those are the rules and
reg relations. What I would say is the important thing
(23:04):
about the first time Super Savor scheme is that once
you put it in, if it's not being withdrawn for property,
it does get taxed on the way out and you're
not going to end up in a better position. So
if you're planning on pulling it out, haha, you can't
unless it's for property. So if it's other goals that
aren't property related, I would be considering seriously not using
(23:27):
Super as a vehicle for that. And I will tell
you on our second part of this Super episode. Personally,
I don't make additional contributions to Super to top up
my retirement because I have very grand plans of retiring
before the age of sixty five. So like you guys,
take that however you wish, or just just any additionals no,
(23:48):
nothing for me.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
I think.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Can you just say, first time Super, I have a
game really.
Speaker 4 (23:51):
Quick, I'd forget it.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
It's car so quick.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
All right, guys, I'm excited for this one because I
am opinionated, and I think you guys are going to
be too. So are you ready for the DM we
got this week? Ready?
Speaker 7 (24:11):
Hi?
Speaker 3 (24:12):
She's on the money team. I have a little bit
of a money dilemma for you. My younger sister is
engaged and currently making wedding preparations. I found out recently
that my parents are paying for the entire wedding. My
long term partner and I decided long ago that we
will not be getting married or having kids, as that's
just not what feels right for us. My parents are
(24:32):
fully aware of this. It is unlikely that I would
bother broaching the subject with them, as I know their
response would be just something along the lines of, well,
if you get married to will pay for your wedding too.
I would love to know y'all's thoughts on whether or
not it would be fair for my parents to financially
assist me in other ways, considering I don't have any
plans to get married.
Speaker 6 (24:51):
Big yes, personally, and I understand that like no one
actually owes anyone money, So if they paid for your
sister's wedding. It still feels unfair, but it's like I
think that it's different if it's like, oh, my assistant
needed surgery and they paid for a surgery and then
and then I'd be like, oh, they.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Don't know anything.
Speaker 6 (25:05):
But like there's something that always gets to me about
like this tradition that is just like it is really cool,
really beautiful, Like weddings have just been around since as
long as I can remember. But I don't I don't
think we need to get married. I think it was
like something that was just like kind of you know,
maybe it.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Was religious, maybe it was born out of religion.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
I'm sure transfer the ownership of a woman from her
father to he house.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
But thank you Jess exactly. And that's what I try
and say, and that I don't want to like sound
my heart.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
My husband didn't even get a dowry when he married me.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Well that's the thing.
Speaker 6 (25:31):
And it's like and so the dad walks the doughter
down like here's this is your property now, and like
that's the thing. It's like a transfer of ownership and
it's like, Okay, we're way beyond that now, which is great,
but it's like you know, but we still get married,
and I think that's that's really beautiful.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
But we don't need to.
Speaker 6 (25:44):
So I feel like, like I have friends I probably
won't get married. I have a lot of friends who
probably won't get married. One of my friends is like,
I'm not having children, but I still don't have a party.
So I'm going to have a non children party and
a non marriage party because we deserve.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Gifts just as much as ever anyone else.
Speaker 6 (25:58):
But I understand that if you're spending a lot of
money on a ceremony, then you know, it's really nice
if people kind of like contribute to your life moving forward,
which is lovely. But I don't think it's an essential thing.
Some people want it to be. Some people are quite religious,
and it is an essential thing. But because it's so
like it's so you don't have to do it, you
(26:19):
don't want to be not that you're directly being like
punished for not doing it, but to see that something
that your sister doesn't need to do is it's being
funded and like this is a big party to celebrate
her and her love and all this kind of stuff,
and you don't want to do that because you were like,
what does it actually mean for me. It doesn't mean
anything for me, so why would I do it? And
(26:41):
then you know, so I think that like having this
conversation with your parents and be like what is marriage?
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Like why marriage? What the hell does it mean? Why
we are doing it?
Speaker 6 (26:52):
And why do you just like give money so much
money away without even thinking about what it is and
why it's happening. So I think like if your parents
could understand that you've kind of like seen through all
of that and you're like, oh, it's not really for me.
It's just a waste of money or whatever it is.
Whatever that looks like it's not really important for you.
But you are still doing things that should be valued
(27:15):
as highly as a wedding because you love someone so much.
But maybe you're maybe you want to open a studio
and have like a creative art space, maybe you want
to start your own business, maybe you want to go
on a trip. All these things should be This is
what really annoys me is that like all these things
that we do for ourselves and for the people we love,
just like no one places any value on it. But
it's you get married and everyone's like, oh my god,
(27:38):
it's such an achievement, but it's also an achievement to
do all these other little things, not little things. I
shouldn't say little, they're all big. But I think if
you explain that to your parents, like I did this
thing which was really cool, I did that by myself.
I did this thing that was really cool. No one
helped me funder that. It's like if you kind of
explain that, they don't know it to you, but it
will build resentment within you. And we're just trying to
(27:59):
avoid the resentment. It's all I trying to say. But
everything that we all do is valuable, including getting married,
including not getting married.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
I think it's also a different tangent than like do
they owe you that, because it's all about well, you know,
the way you're seeing marriage and the way that your
views are on that, because like, as someone who is married,
like I look at it and go, oh my god,
Like I did not get married because I want to
submit to my husband and all of that, and like,
if you know my relationship, well enough, unlucky guy, I
(28:27):
refuse to take his name. I made sure that our
kids had our name. Sorry, mate, you want to be
a divine, well, if you want to marry me, that's
the rules.
Speaker 6 (28:35):
It's weird that it's just like, by default the opposite,
and it's like cooled if it's not.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
You know what I mean, it's like, yeah, no, it
should just be.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
It can be anything on your terms. It doesn't mean
you have to get married. You don't have to. Lots
of people I know don't. But it's more like, I
guess the underlying question here is not whether your choices
are valid, but like, should your parents be funding your life? Jess,
what would you do?
Speaker 5 (28:55):
Yeah, it's something I've been reflected on a lot, exactly
if you're kind of touching I'm bet as someone who
is not really following that traditional pathway. I don't know
that i'll have kids, I don't know that I'll care
to get married, you know where a lot of my
friends have ticked those more traditional quote unquote accomplishments. And
there's something just in reflecting I think on the fact that,
as you said, we celebrate these milestones, but not everybody
(29:17):
will will want to pursue those.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
Yeah, it's only recently.
Speaker 5 (29:21):
That same sex couples were able to get married. To
a very long time that wasn't even an option for people,
you know, and I think that there's something to be said,
not that celebration or the things that come with that,
like the gifting, the money, etc. Not that it has
to be reciprocal or equal. That's not what I'm getting at.
But I do think that for people who choose less
(29:42):
traditional pathways, it can be really hard to feel like
you're not being celebrated or not achieving things that people
view as valuable. I think it's great that you're choosing
your own path, and I think that you're totally right.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
My only.
Speaker 5 (29:58):
Qualm I suppose is that, as you you said, you're
not owed something, and like I think it's really generous
and it is somewhat traditional that the parents want to
pay for or contribute to the wedding. It's hard because
I don't think you can necessarily turn around and say, well,
you've paid for something for one person you have to pay.
In an ideal world, yes, it would all be fair,
but at the same time, you know, I've also said
(30:19):
on this show before, like nobody owes anybody anything, like
you shouldn't expect your parents to pay for a wedding,
a house deposit.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Or anything else.
Speaker 5 (30:27):
Do I think that you know there's something to be
said about I do think you should definitely have a
conversation explain the perspective to them of well, I'm never
planning on being married, But does that mean that my
other things that I hope to do, purchasing a house
or traveling or doing whatever, are less valuable and don't
deserve to be You know, I think there is a
lot of gray to play in here, because on one hand,
(30:48):
I very much don't think they owe anything. But on
the other hand, I do also think that there's something
to be said for providing, equally valuing, equally respecting decisions
that your children might make. And I don't really know
that I have a good answer for that, but I
guess my reflection is just very much echoing what you
said back that more and more people are choosing non
(31:10):
traditional pathways, and I think that should be celebrated. Like
I think, just because you don't want to follow the
path that has been laid out for us, particularly as
women for so many generations, you might disagree with marriages
and an institution because of, like you know, the history
of what it means. Yeah, you might want to have
a huge, beautiful wedding because that's fun and exciting, and
both of those things are okay, but like whatever path
(31:33):
you choose should be equally valued by the people around you,
is how I feel.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Totally.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
I am so glad that both of you were like
so kind in your responses, and I echo all of that,
like I agree and would like to cut and paste
what you've said into my response, But then I'm also
going to say something that could get me canceled. And
that's perfectly okay, because like I sometimes see myself as
like your big sister when it comes to money, and
like you don't always want to hear what you big
(32:00):
sisters got to say, but sometimes it's really helpful, and
I think that's really entitled. I just look at it
and I go, your parents are choosing to do something
with their money. It is their choice. I can completely
see that you might go, oh, well, that's unfair because
I didn't get what they got. Why no, no care
(32:20):
about your own financial security, build your own financial future.
I personally wouldn't mention it. And that's why I'm saying,
like I could get ganceled, you can do whatever you want.
It can feel unfair, but also the spending that your
parents make is in line with their values, and if
they made the choice to help you with something big,
(32:41):
I'm sure they would broach that. I don't think you
need to jump up and down and say, hey, please
value my life as much as this. I also think
that sometimes we forget how much they might have contributed
to other things growing up. Like there's this really good
I don't know if it's a quote, but it's all
about how even in the same household, children don't experience
(33:03):
the same parents. So like when one day I have
more children, like the parenting that my next child gets
in comparison to Harvey is not going to be the same.
Their experiences are coming from different lenses. They are different people.
They will be treated differently, not because it's not fair,
but just because one might have a learning difficulty and
(33:23):
I need to invest more in their tutoring than the other.
Or one might really love football and I invest in,
you know, making sure they go through that, and the
other ones to stay home play video game. Like you
are going to have different experiences and equal doesn't mean
a dollar amount from my perspective, like I think I
would be you know, if I extrapolate this out even
(33:44):
just to a work sense, right, like if I go
down to the cafe with Jess at lunchtime and I
buy her coffee and then she comes up to goes,
oh my god, money, when V brought me coffee? Would
you turn around and go, well, why did she get coffee?
I want a coffee? Like it just is that sense
of entitlement that it's like I do feel like overtime,
these things ebb and flow, and like, you know what,
(34:05):
we hear it in the community all the time. And
you know what, the most stereotypical thing is when the
older sister is complaining about the younger brother, They're like,
oh my god, Like I had to work for bloody
everything I got, Like I got my first job, I
did this, I saved up for my first car, I
bought it. And then for my brother's eighteenth birthday, he
just got gifted a car.
Speaker 6 (34:25):
What the heck?
Speaker 3 (34:25):
Like, I'm not saying that any of these things are right,
but I think we need to kind of stay in
our own lane. And the most healthy approach to this
is like work on your own financial confidence and your
own financial independence and like celebrate the choices that you've
made because they were the right ones for you. Like
you're not going to get married, and I know that
your parents are saying they would come back and be like, well,
(34:46):
Jess Curry, if you got married, would pay for your bidding.
Don't worry. That is not a reflection of how much
they care about you. That is a reflection of their values.
And maybe they're really outdated stereotypes based on weddings that
your dad should be paying for your wedding, do you
know what I mean? Like, I just don't think it's
a reflection of your parents not caring or loving for you.
And if you distill that down to finances, I kind
(35:07):
of go, what the heck, that's not what life's about. Sure,
I don't know. I just feel like it's there's so
many ways that you could look at it so exactly.
And I'm not saying that I don't agree with the
two of you who had much kinder responses, but I
was like, can we just talk about this entitlement piece,
because like, I do know someone like that and they're like, oh, well,
my parents spent X and they literally go and ask
their parents for the same similar cash amount and I go,
(35:31):
that's because I benefited the parents. Yeah, Like that's it
just gives me the ick, Like I just really don't
like it. And maybe that's just because again I'm so
black and white that I'm like, there's right and there's Well,
that doesn't mean I can't live in the gray and
give you context, but I also think does that resonate?
If so, maybe take that with a grain of salt
(35:52):
as well.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
What did everybody else think? I feel like there's gonna
be lots of There was, and there was.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
It was a little bit spicy. So the first question
I asked was, guys, how would you handle this situation.
Forty four percent of you said, let it go, it's
their choice, twenty seven percent said have a conversation about fairness,
twenty one percent of you would ask for the same
amount for another milestone, and nine percent said I'd be
quietly resentful. Next question I asked was should the money
(36:19):
a parent gives for a wedding be matched with the
same amount for siblings who choose not to marry? And
this is pretty fifty to fifty fifty one percent of
you said yep, it's only fair. Forty nine percent of
you said, no, weddings are different interesting, And then I said,
what's your two cents? And you, guys, let it rip?
So first person said, my parents raised us on the
basis of what they do for one child, they will
(36:41):
always do for all Cool. But that's where the argument
of like your parents go, will beck, if you want
to get married, we'd pay for your wedding.
Speaker 6 (36:48):
Yeah, we'd do that for you too. I'd be like,
here's a chunk of money. You can use it for
a wedding, you can use that for a business, you
can use that for a travel Yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
I quite like that idea, do you know?
Speaker 5 (36:57):
I think there's something having a conversation with them and
just asking why is the wedding the thing that you
think is worth fun? Is it that outdated? You feel
like it's your responsibility to pay. Like, our parents are
of an age where they do come from a different time,
and I think there's something in just having the conversation
to understand their perspective, not necessarily to change it.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Yes, that's true for me.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
I just look at it and go, oh, okay, So
your parents are probably spending their money in line with
their values, and like that's a good thing. Next person said,
parents are emotionally driven when investing in a wedding. There
is a very big social aspect to that. Not money.
Speaker 4 (37:31):
Ah, that does make sense. Yeah, that's a great point.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
Next person, Financial help should be provided if and when
it's needed. It doesn't need to be dollar for dollar equal.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
Sure, that's fair.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
Next person said, weddings should not be the only thing
that is celebrated in our lives, and our parents should
learn to match.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
Another person said, who's to say you won't get married
in twenty years? Things could absolutely change. It's also a
fat take. Then I've got a little too parter. Often
parents want their kids to get married, so they're happy
to put that bill. Some want kids to buy homes,
so they gift a house deposit. Everybody is different. And
then I have three more for you. I have one
(38:09):
more two parter. Someone said, so, before becoming a parent,
I would have totally thought it was unfair and that
they should be compensated in another way. But now as
a parent, I know that I don't owe my kids
any money at all. And then the last one is
equality versus equity. If you're not having a wedding or
a baby, then you actually don't need help with that expense.
(38:30):
Why are you asking? Oh that makes sense to actually yeah,
so yeah, but that's why it's so nuanced. Yeah, but
like I actually kind of like that. Your parents have said,
our values are if you choose to get married, we
are happy to put that bill. Yes, Like we're not gifting.
Like I think in the flip side, your parents could
turn around and say, well, Jessica's getting married. If she
(38:50):
asked us for twenty thousand dollars, we'd say no. But
if she's getting married, we will put that bill because
that's aligned to our values and our goals and what
we want to be spending our money on. But if
she chooses not to get marrible, we're not funding it.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Well, that's true. And I guess it's like, are you
gonna have a birthday party this year? Yes, well I
pay for it. If you don't, then.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
I'm not paying for your birthday listen movie not getting
cash instead?
Speaker 2 (39:10):
Yeah yeah yeah, And.
Speaker 6 (39:11):
After the wedding, they're not going to have cash to show,
but they're not going to be better off they just
paid for the wedding.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
I guess it okay, but again it's.
Speaker 3 (39:18):
Just about like, let's really thinking this through. And I
think that's where you know, when I distell it down,
maybe it's because I've had so many conversations, and maybe
I have been privy to a lot of entitlement throughout
my career, and that's because I worked in the ultra
high net wealth space, And like, I cannot tell you
how many times I've wanted to fly across a table
and fly kick someone because I'm like, can you not
(39:40):
see the privilege that you have? And you're still complaining? Like,
I don't know, I just maybe that's coming out of
me in a little bit of a spicy way today.
So maybe I need to go to McDonald's and get
a really crispy coking cold.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
All right, Well that's the end of the show.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
Then, guys, thank you so much for sticking around for
another Friday episode, and we'll see you bright and early
on Monday day morning for a money diary, Bye Buys.
Speaker 7 (40:08):
The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
If you do choose to buy a financial product, read
the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards
(40:29):
your needs Victoria divine and she's on the money. Are
authorized representatives of money sheper pty Ltd.
Speaker 3 (40:36):
ABN three two one six four nine two seven seven
zero eight AFSL four five one two eight nine
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com