June 22, 2025 • 37 mins
Ever felt like life just keeps testing you… one heartbreak after another? This week’s Money Diary isn’t just about grief, it’s about the admin that comes with it (and no one warns you about). After losing both her parents, our diarist found herself deep in paperwork, probate, Centrelink forms, and co-executor chaos… all while pregnant and juggling two little ones at home. From the emotional mess of selling the family home to navigating bank accounts, and all the estate drama, this is the side of money we don’t often talk about, but so many of us will face. And through it all? She’s budgeting, investing for her kids, and still somehow holding it together. This episode is a reminder that sometimes, surviving is the win.
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Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements.
The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708, AFSL - 451289.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name is Aatasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations
woman and I'm here to acknowledge country t Glenn Young
Ganya Niana Kaka yah y and beIN ah Waka Nian
our gay In Nimbina, yakarum jar Dominyama, Domaga Ithawakaman damon
Imlan bomber bang Gadabomba in and now in wakah ghana
on yak rum jar Watnadaa. Hello, beautiful friends, we gather
(00:24):
on the lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank acknowledge
and respect the Abiginal people's land that we're gathering on today.
Take pleasure in all the land and respect all that
you see. She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country,
community and connections, bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources
for you to thrive.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
She's on the Money.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
She's on the Money.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
that lets you be pervy about other people's money habits
for educational purposes, of course. Welcome back to another one
of our money daries, where I get the absolute privilege
of sitting down and having a good chat with one
of our She's on the Money. Community members, Let's jump
straight into it, because this week I got a message
and it sounded exactly like this, Dear, she's on the money.
(01:30):
My story is one of painful grief combined with postpartum
and navigating it all while trying to be an executor
of my dad's estate with a co executor who does
not have the best of intentions. It's been the year
of big lows and highs. With my dad passing away
just a week before my son was born, we had
to navigate funeral expenses and now finalize his estate, including
(01:52):
managing all of his bills and debts and selling my
family home to pay for it all. My mum also
passed when I was only twenty six. All of this
has happened with a new baby, our own mortgage and
mortgage and finances to navigate with a send link parental
leave pay kicking it into boot. It still feels as
though I haven't even been able to properly grieve as
(02:13):
I desperately am trying to work my way through all
of the administrative burden of it all. Money Diarist, this
is awful. I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. Yeah,
that sounded even more awful when you read it back
to me, when you put it down on paper, it
just like kind of kicks you in the guts, doesn't it.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 5 (02:32):
Yeah, it's been such a wild at least five years actually,
probably since my mum got sick.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
I was about to say, like with your mom passing,
I feel like that it's just like a rollercoaster from then,
because like I feel like a postpartum and before you
did mention that you have a three year old, You've
just been going through it girl.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
I know.
Speaker 5 (02:51):
And I remember thinking back like just before we got engaged,
so just before my mum actually got sick, and being like.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Wow, our life is just like how lucky are we
with so like we're in Hawaii.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
We got engaged, like everything felt perfect, and then she
was diagnosed probably I think six months later or twelve
months later, and then from then it was sort of yeah,
it just never really got off the really wild rollercoaster.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
No, it just kept going. I'm so sorry. All right,
I'm going to ask the first question before we get
into it. If I asked you to give yourself a
money grade, what money grade would you give yourself from
A through to F.
Speaker 5 (03:29):
I was thinking well before postpartum. I think I was
a B minus probably navigating life. Right now, I'm sitting
on a solid C.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
I would think that right now, navigating all of this,
you're solid A like to get through all you just
got to have your shit together. I'm sorry, like you
might not feel that way, but like it's a lot.
Speaker 5 (03:48):
Yes, yes, the administrative burden of it all is just huge,
Like it's low.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
It's a hectic. So let's rewind a little bit. I
want to know about your money story, but I actually
want to know about your mum. You said she when
you were only twenty six, and before that you were
like in Hawaii celebrating life, and then she got diagnosed
I'm assuming with a form of cancer. Talk to me,
what happened? Who was your mum?
Speaker 5 (04:10):
So she was just amazing and yeah, it's lovely to
speak about her because you don't get to all that often,
especially when they've passed. I guess more than five years ago.
They talk about grief in like stages and past five
years people kind of stopped saying their names.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
So thank you.
Speaker 5 (04:26):
Yeah, she was still working, so she was only early
sixties at this point. She was a teacher, aide for
special needs kids. So she was always so.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
She was a special human as well. Stop it.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
Yeah, she was always and mum and dad both were
like low income earners, you know. She stayed home with
me until we went to school and then she got
a job at my school sort of thing. So we
just pretty much spent all our time together until I
was of I guess a young adult and moved out
of home after UNI. So, yeah, she unfortunately got diagnosed
(05:01):
with cancer while still working in her early sixties.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
She had bow cancer.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Oh and that one's an awful one. I mean they're
all awful, but that's that's awful.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
And it was it was quite quick in terms of like,
you know, her she'd done the bow screening, it had
actually come back okay, and where it was positioned, it
just was extremely aggressive and difficult to operate on, hard
to treat, you know, they tried chemo radio.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
It was.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Yeah, just such a roller coaster until she pretty much
she passed away actually a week after our wedding.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
Oh mom, but thanks for holding on. Literally. Yeah, So
she was just so so strong. That woman had a mission.
She was like, God, we're going to make the wedding.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
We're going to make it.
Speaker 5 (05:44):
So that was about I think it was eighteen months
after she was originally diagnosed, and she pretty much it
got to the May June of that year. Our wedding
was in the November. This was the year of COVID actually,
so twenty.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
Oh yeah, yeah, that's you know what. I'm sorry, Like
shout out to your mom for going through all of
that junk while going through COVID as well, because like
going to appointments and having all of those additional restrictions,
like that's not fair.
Speaker 5 (06:14):
I still remember, like the Easter of that year was
the Easter. I know you're in Melbourne, so I know
you had it rougher than I and here in Queensland with.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
What you're telling me right now, I definitely didn't have
it rough for babe. I was just stuck at home.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Okay, yeah, that's true.
Speaker 5 (06:29):
So I remember it was the Easter of that year
and you like you couldn't even gather to celebrate Easter
like it was that and like that always made me
a bit sad. Like we tried to, we all did
our best, did your best, but you couldn't, like the
restrictions were wild. So that was a bit sad that
that happened in her last year. But yeah, we sort
of got to the May June and she pretty much
(06:49):
deteriorated from there, but really did hold on. I remember
at my hen's party, she like was determined to make
it and she did. She sat there and watched the
stripper that my friends organized, Thanks Mum, literally is so hilarious.
But yeah, so she made it. And then at my wedding,
(07:10):
she was really sick. She'd sort of entered palliative care
the week before, but she she made it, and for
the ceremony at least she we got her accommodation on
the site and one of her best friends came and
stayed with her so she was able to come to
the ceremony. We got some really amazing photos, which was yeah, perfect.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Really cool to keep.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
And then yeah, so that's where, Yeah, it was a
crazy journey for that period, and here we are again
sort of in a comparatively crazy period.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
That is a joke, Like I'm not trying to make
light of this. That's just honestly the biggest piece of bullshit, Like,
imagine going through all of that, and then later you're like, cool,
I'm gonna have another baby, Like this is you know,
really exciting, and then something's happening with your dad. So oh,
sounds like Mum was a trooper. Like, sounds like Mum
was icon Like anyone who works as a teacher's age,
(08:03):
you just know they're a good egg, Like you just
know that they care. And like the fact that she's like, girl,
we're making the strippers, like we're going, We're gonna be
there for that. Like you just know she was a
good mom, right, she was.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
She was the best.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
So tell me about your dad.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
So dad, they were both equally.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
Actually, I was at a mother's group the other day
and we got asked the question of like what do
you want to pass on to your children? And I
spoke about how I felt like Mum and Dad collectively
were like just both so amazing, but they were both
so different. So Mom was a really really nurturing, loving,
you know, there for everything, just most amazing mom. Like
when I was twenty two and still going to stay
(08:41):
at their house, she would like heat up the bed
and put my pajamas under the pillow sort of thing.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
Oh, she was perfect.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
She was literally all the way till the end, like
it was crazy. And then Dad was like charismatic like
super hilarious, you know, like the joker everyone commented at
is of just how hilarious he was. So like, together,
they were just such an amazing little team. So I'm
very grateful for that. I wish I had longer with them,
(09:09):
but yeah, they were the best while we got them
here on earth.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
That sounds so traumatic, but also they just sound like
such beautiful people, Like they just sound like like, I
hope that one day my kids speak about me in
the same way that you're speaking about your parents, Like
how pretty is that? Like that's just so good, right,
Like I hope that Harvey is one day like oh
my mom, Like that would be that I would have
made it.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
Yeah, definitely, And even just like the people that said
stuff to me at both of their funerals, like some
of Mum's students said, you know, at some points in
their lives, she was the only person they felt like
was there for them or who they could fully speak to.
And like similarly, like friends that I'd grown up with
and I hadn't spoken to for years were like, oh
my god, your dad was just like the best dad ever,
(09:53):
Like you're so lucky sort of thing. So yeah, it
was lovely to when people are able to say that
to you and you're a you get that opportunity to
speak about them.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Yeah, that's so nice, So talk to me. What happened
with your dad?
Speaker 5 (10:07):
So then dad, he was actually doing really well. He
hadn't had the best health during his life, but in
the last probably since my daughter was born in twenty
twenty two, he was doing really well. But on so
you're not going to probably believe this, but on her
first birthday, he was picking up her birthday cake and
I was calling his phone because it was a little
(10:27):
bit delayed, and then a random man answers and says,
I think your dad's having a stroke.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Of course, God, I know.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
I was in the park, it was starting to pour
rain and I was holding like soft play that I
needed to set up for the party.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
Yeah, because it's a first birthday. Like those are completely
opposite scenarios.
Speaker 5 (10:46):
Oh so then I raced to obviously where he was.
By that time, the ambulance had already taken him because
he was having a severe stroke. Oh no, yeah, so
the birthday cake was still strapped in the back of
his car.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
Of course, it was He's like, I would just let
me deal with this. I'd just strap this in. Oh
there's something going on with me. I know.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
It was literally in a seat belt and he'd, luckily
he'd stop to get the newspaper. Who knows why, because
he was on his way to the party.
Speaker 4 (11:13):
Because he's a dad, he's a stereotypical day he's got
it needs a paper. What if it was boring soft
plays not for adults.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Well that's the thing.
Speaker 5 (11:21):
So but thank god he got that newspaper because he
could have been on the road when it happened. He
was luckily returning from the shop and kind of collapsed
into his car and.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
There was somebody there to pick up his phone. My god.
Speaker 5 (11:34):
Yeah, So he survived that, but it was like a
very close call, like it was a severe stroke and
they had to operate immediately sort of thing to remove
the clot But then he was never the same unfortunately
after that. So then we had about a year with him,
oh was it a year? About another eighteen months pretty
much of navigating who he was then and his life.
(11:56):
He spent about four months in rehab after that, so
he could walk and he could mostly use his arm,
although he had to relearn all the fine motor skills
and things like that.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
But then yeah, and I'm assuming he probably couldn't talk
if that's how severe it was.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
He could, but it's sort of changed who he was.
So what I was sort of talking about how funny,
and he pretty much lost that part of him.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
His personality.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Yeah, he really became a different person.
Speaker 5 (12:22):
So it was really difficult to navigate with that as well,
like learning who he was then he was a different
like before.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
Yeah, because it does change you, like it changes your brain,
it changes literally everything. And it's scary as well, like
for you going through this as well, Yes, awful awful
for him, but like as his daughter, to watch your
dad become somebody that's arguably unrecognizable is terrifying. Like it
is so scary, like you, just like I don't know
this person. I don't know how they're reacting. And a
(12:52):
lot of the time when these things happen, they're not
Oh he's just different. It's usually partnered with things like
aggression and yes, things that wouldn't make a lot of
sense for them to say that feel uncomfortable, and I
think that that's really confronting. Yeah, yeah, definitely the uncomfortable
because he was always a joker, so he tried to
(13:13):
keep that because like, deep down here, that's who he was.
He knows who he is. It's just not how he
can show up.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
It was.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Yeah, so it was, yeah, so tricky to navigate because
before that, he like I used to work from home
one day a week. I would set up like the
playroom and he would come and look after my daughter
while I worked from home. Like it was like two worlds.
That day, on her first birthday, everything changed again. So
I'm so glad we got that year because my daughter
(13:41):
has such beautiful memories and she's such a little old
soul that she says things now about my son, like
he can't how come he never got to have a
picture with Poppy, Like she knows. We've talked about it,
but it is still a tricky concept to navigate with
a three year old.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
And yeah, but.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
That's so sweet. She remembers, like she's so little and
still gets it, Like how cool is that?
Speaker 2 (14:05):
I know?
Speaker 5 (14:06):
And she everything of hers that he's bought her. I
always try and say, like, oh, Poppy got you that.
We'll have a conversation about it. She's like, Poppy got
me this, and like it's like she loves it even
more which is so special.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
She's so sweet. She's also like I know what this
means to me. How sweet?
Speaker 2 (14:23):
I know.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
Yeah, And then fast forward, you said you got another
eighteen months with dad and you were pregnant. Did you
see this coming?
Speaker 5 (14:31):
No, Well, he was unwell and the GP had sort
of a few times been like go to emergency and
get your heart checked, like I guess health as well
as like a stroke, you know, it does does deteriorate
overall for a person after something so severe, and obviously
his mental health wasn't great after this, But no, it
(14:51):
was completely I was thirty eight weeks pregnant maybe on
the dot or almost thirty eight weeks pregnant, And yeah,
my brother called me that morning and it was completely random,
just out of the blue. Like we didn't get an
autopsy because the paramedic asked me if I wanted that,
and my auntie, who was pretty much his best friend,
(15:14):
we sort of agreed that we didn't need to put
him through law. He was very unhealthy at that point,
so his doctor was able to say, you know, like
it could have been one of many things, but it
was still as much as it was almost like a
relief that he was out of the pain that he
went through in the previous eighteen months.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
It was still a big shock.
Speaker 5 (15:36):
And I think I've had two different grief periods, Like
I've had the you know it's coming kind of thing.
I actually thought, like we bought a house, we were
planning to well, I was trying to get him sorted
to build a granny flat here so he could have
money in the bank and just because he was struggling
on the pension and all of those things.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
But we never quite got there.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
So, yeah, he sounds so sweet too, sound like your mum.
You explained your mum, and then just the way that
you're like speaking about your dad, I'm like, oh, hey,
the appul has not fallen that far from the tree.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
So tell me what that's like, because like, you get
a call from my brother your dad's passed away. That's horrific.
But you're thirty eight weeks pregnant, and that's meant to
be a joyous period of life, right, that's meant to
be like a period that you're just so excited. How
do you navigate that?
Speaker 5 (16:24):
We were actually like, luckily we were at my niece's
birthday because my daughter, like obviously with children, you like,
I try and be open with it, but you try
and mask some of the intenseness of emotions, like you
can't be trying to protect them. You do, and but
obviously my reaction immediately to that phone call was like
what she'd never seen before. So then I had to
(16:46):
quickly like rein it back in to tell her that
Mummy needed to go for a minute.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
And luckily she was with her cousins and her nanny.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
So she could, so she was like, yeah, pop off, Mom,
I love being here. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:56):
So she was half like that, I saw you really
sad and I want to stay with you, but also
I really like my cousins and I'm happy to stay here.
So that was sort of a blessing and a curse.
So she was there, and then we went to mum
and Dad's house and I was sort of out the
front because Moum did pass away also in the family home,
and I was just refusing to go in, and the
(17:16):
paramedic had to come out and be like.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
We need you.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
You were thirty eight weeks pregnant and this was in February,
so like the hottest part of the Queensland summer.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
Yeah, and it was hot.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Yuck.
Speaker 5 (17:26):
No thanks, I'm just out the front because I was like,
I can't go.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
In, just hanging out in the heat, because you're like,
I can't do this again.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
I can't do it again.
Speaker 5 (17:34):
So eventually they moved him back to his bed so
he was comfortable, and like, I never went down that
end of the house.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I just sort of went outside.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Maybe you could come in the house and maybe not
be absolutely straining yourself in the heat.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
Yes, So we just went and sat there until all
the logistics of that part of it was sorted. And yeah,
I guess after that came the whirlwind of quickly planning
a funeral. Came before I was forty weeks pregnant and
having a baby.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
So you had I'm assuming the funeral the week after
or so, is that right? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (18:09):
I literally quickly planned it, and luckily my Auntie is
just amazing, so she helped us with the financial side
of things to be settled upon the estate settlement, so
we could just quickly go ahead and organize something, which
literally happened the week after. And because I'm a lunatic,
because for Mom's funeral, I did the eulogy, the video,
the booklet, like everything.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
Yeah, of course you did, see you are your mom's daughter.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
And so I was determined to do it again, even
though like I knew I should it, and I knew
I didn't have the capacity, but I was like, but
I did it for mum, so I wanted to do
it for dad.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
And I bet you don't regret that, though, I bet
you're like, no, I'm glad I.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Did no, And I love the video.
Speaker 5 (18:48):
And you know, every time I go to a family
member's house and they've got the little booklet up on
the mantelpiece, that makes me feel happy.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Yeah, you're really proud.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Yeah, yeah, So we did that.
Speaker 5 (18:57):
And then I like I told my midwe life what
was going on, and I'd just gone for some extra
checks around them and just got some monitoring.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
Yes much, thank god.
Speaker 5 (19:06):
But like he was just completely fine, and literally he
was vibing.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
He's like, Mum, you seem stressed. I would just hang
out here for a bit, all right.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
He just hung out like he was just so fine.
Speaker 5 (19:17):
And then I even like I booked the induction or
my due date, I ended up going in a few
days earlier just because like I felt like my brain
couldn't comprehend movements at that point in time, so I
was stressing myself more so we ended up having the
induction and like it was literally like Dad passed away
a week later, the funeral a week later, I gave birth.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
Oh no, and doing all of that, and you mentioned like, yeah,
we had to like navigate funeral expenses throughout that time.
Like money is so stressful at the best of times.
Money when you're going through that is even more stressful.
But now you're trying to finalize his estate, but you've
said there's maybe a co executor that doesn't have the
(19:59):
best intentions. That's another level of stress that is just
not necessary. So how are you navigating What does that
look like?
Speaker 5 (20:06):
Oh, it's been pretty awful in terms of like somebody
who should be a big part of like the support
network in postpartum is just not around. And that's because
of substances that they've engaged with for a long period.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
So that's not a surprise but also still heartbreaking.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
Yeah, like we always knew it was bad, and when
my mom passed away, it probably exasperated at all. I
suppose people that's no excuse for them, but deal with
things differently, I guess. But yeah, like since that has passed,
this person has pretty much well they never actually contacted
me when I had the baby, you know, to see
if I was okay. So all communication has pretty much
(20:45):
been through the solicitor now because obviously, which is why
I wrote in the money story actually because the joint
executorship thing is, I actually had no idea about it.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Like it's good in theory.
Speaker 5 (20:55):
Yeah, and Dad always said to me, He's like, don't
worry because I'd be like Dad. This person lived with
Dad for a long time for free. They're about ten
years older than me. So it always irked me because
Dad struggled so much with money after his stroke. Well
we slaved away on our mortgage and all now you know,
it frustrated me.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
Yeah, and they're just kind of like taking a free
ride and basically taking advantage of your dad. And you're
watching that happen and that's hurtful, Like that's not okay,
And like you seem like a different personality as well,
because like you just told me before, like oh, our
plan was smash down our mortgage, build a granny flat
so Dad could move in because I could see he
was struggling on the pension. That's literally the exact opposite
(21:36):
of what you've just explained, So like that would be
so hard to navigate.
Speaker 5 (21:41):
And it was so frustrating because even during that time
of us trying to get Dad to sell the family
home to build, like I was even planning on, you know,
the Brannie flat would be like a building that if
Dad passed away, it could literally just be picked up
on a truck and sold and taken away, just like
a family home. Like our property was not essential benefiting
from it. That this person said to my dad many times,
(22:03):
like what about my inheritance.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
It's actually not your inheritance.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
It's his money to spend on his.
Speaker 4 (22:09):
Life right now.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
And that's what I wanted for him so bad, because
at the end he just wanted to go to the
pub and have a stake icon honestly, icon exactly. And
there were weeks that he would call me and be
like Georgia on my account, so overdrawn, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Why, like and like.
Speaker 5 (22:24):
It was just so frustrating at the end because I
couldn't help him, and I just wanted him to just
like Mom and Dad slaved at that mortgage their entire lives.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
They paid every bit of.
Speaker 5 (22:32):
Interest to the bank that they possibly could, and actually
he paid his last mortgage repayment while he was in
hospital after the stroke.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
I stop it.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
No, that's heartbreaking, I know.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
And it was so weird.
Speaker 5 (22:46):
I remember it had come out maybe his account was overdrawn,
and I was fixing it because that's the other thing
that happened. I used to sort of help him manage
the money. And then about once this person moved into
his house, the control got lost.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
So it's all, yeah, it sounds like I'm mad. And
so you're going through this process and is the solicitor
kind of aware that this is going on. I feel
like these people generally have some level of nows.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Yes they do, And I think that's the thing, like
when they come to an appointment, they're very like you know,
if you met them in the street, you would be like, oh,
like they're an okay person, you know, like what a delight? Yeah, yeah,
which is exactly right. Thankfully, this solicitor has been sort
of like helping my family. For he supported my mom's
mom and then mum did the wills, so he sort of,
(23:33):
I guess had an idea. So he's been on the
journey very much with us, thank god.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Yeah, okay, and is that all kind of sorting itself
out or like, is that not going to go to plan?
Speaker 5 (23:44):
Well, so we're about like, my son just went four months,
So I just got the property on the market today,
which has been.
Speaker 4 (23:51):
Like just congrats.
Speaker 5 (23:53):
Yeah, it's been chaotic, but we got there.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Yeah, so we'll see how it goes.
Speaker 5 (23:59):
Obviously, we've still got the hurdles of negotiating the price
of the property. And you have a four month old,
so I'm assuming you're still on matt leave and your
matt leave isn't meant to be spent doing this stuff,
but you've been doing will executive stuff and trying to
get a house on the market, like with a newborn.
You've now got a four month old. That's crazy. Did
you blink and then that happened?
Speaker 2 (24:19):
I know.
Speaker 5 (24:19):
He's so yeah, Like he had a bit of a
wildforce trimester.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
He cried a fair bit.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
But now he's like just this happy little guy that
smiles all the time. Like he literally just everyone who
sees him, he'll be like making them like full body
smile and like getting tears in their eyes because he's
like laughing to get the attention.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
He's like, look at me, he is.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
I know.
Speaker 5 (24:40):
So it brings you sort of back down to earth,
I think, having a little person.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
Yeah, and so what were you doing when you went
on matt leave? Like what was your job and how
much money did you earn?
Speaker 5 (24:50):
Yes, so I worked in the public service for the
last year. I did four days a week, so I
was about ninety thousand.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Plus super Oh that's good. Yeah, which was good. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
I only got a pay rise just before Mattley, which
was a lovely little bonus.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
And then having paid parentally was awesome for that.
Speaker 5 (25:08):
I got twelve weeks so before my job previously was
it a not for profit? Oh yeah, and you wouldn't
have got that no, So I did sort of make
that move in the chaos of my life just to
help us along a little bit, knowing we wanted to
have another kid.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
Yeah, that's so good. And so then you went on
to like obviously maternity leave, and you then got your
paid parental leave and like the centling parental leave like
pay kicking in. Tell me about that because you specifically
put that in your submission. So I'm assuming it's a
pain in the butt.
Speaker 5 (25:40):
It is, And I think because I like interest rates.
When I was on matt leave with my daughter in
twenty twenty two were much lovelier and we kind of
had a lovely time. You know, We're like out to
lunch some days, just living our best life.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
But now it's like I knew it.
Speaker 5 (25:55):
Was going to hit, And I think that's why I
sort of said I felt like I was a c
at this point in Mattley because I was great at budgeting.
I was a little bit controlling, like when we get paid,
I like to just like pay everything, like I would
sit down and do it for like a good hour
and make sure everything was like how I wanted it
with our bills, which I.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
Know is a bit psychotic. But no, but that's okay.
We just sometimes need to feel like leer in control.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
We do.
Speaker 5 (26:22):
Yeah, but I've let that control. I guess laps a
little bit now that I'm on maternity leave and don't
have the brain space.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
That's okay. Sometimes we can just like let that lapse,
like you're allowed to relax. Sometimes, I promise, let's go
to a really quick break because on the flip side,
I have a lot of questions. So guys don't go
anywhere all right, money dist we are back talk to me.
You have a mortgage? Is that your big money goal?
(26:49):
Like pay that off or like what are you currently
working towards financially? Yeah, So, as I said, we bought
this property, we had built brand new, and then last
year we actually sold our brand new house and built
a renovator on a bigger block. It wasn't a full
renovator like the previous owner have like painted it new carpets,
(27:10):
so it was okay for us to move straight in.
So we've just been sort of doing bits and pieces,
but we haven't sort of like jumped into any huge
renovations just yet, Like we haven't ripped out the kitchen
and we're living off a cooked top in the bathroom yet.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
No, not yet.
Speaker 5 (27:26):
That's definitely it needs it needs it, so that would
be our first goal, and then obviously to pay it
down as much as we can, whether or not we
sell here and move somewhere different when not quite school,
but only because like, as much as I love it,
it does have that last little connection to I wanted
to build a Grammy flat here for Dad, but we
(27:46):
couldn't sort of thing.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
So yeah, no, totally and that does cloud it a
little bit. Sometimes you just go, you know what, I
want a fresh start, like I want to clean sleep.
I don't want to walk into my garden and just
think about that every single time. But also like reframe
that what a beautiful intention. I know you didn't get
to do it, but like imagine being the person that
that's how you're thinking, Like, oh, I would love to
put my parents or my dad in the backyard and
(28:09):
like take the financial pressure off him. Like what a
beautiful sentiment, Like you're a special human because you know what,
there are so many people that would be like I
would never do that cool, but like I would.
Speaker 5 (28:21):
It would have been hard, I think, and as he
changed over the last year, like definitely, but it would
have been really cool too. Like I always like had
little thoughts of you know, like just him pottering around
the yard with you know, my kids, or like could
just sit in his granny flat and we put a
pool and they could watch him swim and you know,
like just lovely things like that.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
Yeah, And hopefully with time, maybe that gets a little
bit easier because like I think that you still clearly
haven't dealt with this, like in the nicest possible way,
you haven't had time to grieve, because girl, you've just
come out of newborn territory and you just told me
that he didn't really like not crying, so he was
a busy boy, keeping you probably very distracted. But like
(29:02):
grief is fickle, yes.
Speaker 5 (29:03):
And I think that's why I really wanted to get
their property sold and organized. But it was really challenging
with the joint executor, not actually just wanting. He essentially
stopped talking to me because he wanted to live there
for free, I think, which like obviously it made it
much harder for me to get things organized, so he
won to a degree. But hopefully now that we've got
(29:26):
it on the market, we can get a buyer and
I can close that part of my life and move forward.
Speaker 4 (29:31):
Yeah, there's just a chapter we can close, and maybe
once all of that settles, then you can take a
big breath and maybe grieve then a little bit more,
because you're like, there's not a lot of weight on
my shoulders now, Like I don't actually have any responsibilities. Now,
I can just be the daughter who has lost her.
Speaker 5 (29:49):
Parents, Yes, which is so much nicer than being a guaranteel.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
Oh my goodness, Yeah, that's a lot, My friend, that
is a lot. So tell me a bit more about money.
Do you and your husband invest if so in what? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (30:04):
So obviously I'm a bit of a podcast lover of yours.
So I had started investing in chares ease. I haven't
got heaps there because I was just chipping away a
little bit per week. So I think there's five hundred
dollars in ETFs for us.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
Oh see, that's good.
Speaker 5 (30:20):
Well it Actually I was a bit stoked the other
day because obviously the market's gone a bit up considering
what's been going on. So I was looking at the
return at the moment, I was like, oh, look at that,
like from my little twenty dollars a fortnight, you know, yeah,
from little things.
Speaker 4 (30:33):
Big things really do grow.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Yeah, so I've got that.
Speaker 5 (30:37):
And then I've also I've started dabbling with Superhero to
have the split accounts for the kids, so yeah, cute. Yeah,
So I've started investing for each of them. I sort
of started for my daughter, but I was, I think
still learning, so now that my son's here, I kind
of ramp hers up and was trying to make them equal.
I was calculating that to what I would would have
(30:58):
done with when she was born.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
So yeah, we've got that obviously.
Speaker 5 (31:02):
That would be another sort of money goal once a
few other things. Yeah, kick chipping away that, bro, I suppose.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
I love that. And talk to me about superannuation. You
mentioned before that you earn ninety thousand dollars plus super.
But you're in like a public service role. Is super
a big part of your salary because I'm assuming if
you're in public service, maybe you get better than average superannuation.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
Yeah, it's not that much better. It's by one percent
than the average.
Speaker 4 (31:28):
I mean, I'll take it. It's better than a kick
in the pants.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Better than nothing, I suppose.
Speaker 5 (31:32):
So it's ticking along, okay, I think I think it's
sitting at about eighty thousand mine. Now my husband's is
much nicer because he's also been in a government role
for many years. But yeah, it's just being on centilinkly
and not getting any super right now is a little
bit frustrating given it's coming in very soon.
Speaker 4 (31:50):
But anyway, yeah, that would be so annoying. You'd be like,
excuse me, like essentially a year, you know, give or take.
Speaker 5 (31:57):
I think, you know whatever, it is five and a
half once you get at the moment. So yeah, over
two maternity leaves. It's a little frustrating, but.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
It's a lot, and that's why we have to talk
about it and think about it. Talk to me about debt.
You mentioned that you have a mortgage. What does that
look like.
Speaker 5 (32:14):
Yeah, so it's a little bit large and in charge
at the moment.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
But our house hopefully would be worth about.
Speaker 5 (32:21):
One point two at the moment, and we owe I
think seven fifty on it.
Speaker 4 (32:26):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 5 (32:27):
Yeah, obviously when we bought and sold in the same market,
paying stamp duty was a lovely kick in the bum.
Speaker 4 (32:34):
But yeah, stamp duty's not fun at all. Stamp duty
makes me sick.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
It's a bit gross.
Speaker 5 (32:39):
But yeah, so we've got that, and then I think
I've got about fifteen K on my car loan, which
is pretty much all that we have. So that would
be another goal to get rid of that, because that's
not the nicest to pay.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
I don't like paying that one.
Speaker 4 (32:53):
No, I don't think anyone does. But I'm assuming you
ended up with a car loan because you were like,
I need it.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Yes, I think I was.
Speaker 5 (32:59):
Just on that leave with my daughter and my car
was just I've been driving my husband's car because it
was much safer actually, But I think we're both going
back to work and we're just like, let's just get
rid of it and we'll just have one car loan.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (33:11):
Fair, very fair call. So talk to me. I feel
like you said, oh I am a C, but I
was a B minus. I feel like you're probably better
than that. You're just not giving yourself enough credit. It
sounds like you're the type of person that's relatively harsh
on themselves. But that's okay. Tell me, what do you
think your best money? How it is?
Speaker 5 (33:29):
As much as I was a little bit controlling, I
think I am really good at budgeting, and it was
pretty much like we were a little bit frivolous. I
suppose when interest rates started to rise and I was
on Matt leave, I think.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
I got really good at it then.
Speaker 5 (33:42):
So as much as I was controlling, I felt like
our money really was like sortied organized and like I
always felt good about it. I hate the feeling of
like just spending a little bit willy nilly and not
knowing what you're opening in your bank account.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Back just gives me the hebgb's So, I.
Speaker 4 (33:59):
Mean that's good. What do you think your worst money
how it is?
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Then probably spending money on my kids.
Speaker 5 (34:05):
I was just was my daughter's birthday this morning, and
after I got all of her presents out last night,
I was like, she has so much stuff, and I
was like, did I really need to buy all of this?
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Like I don't think I spent a lot. Obviously, it
looks more when they're little because you can just get
little things.
Speaker 4 (34:19):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and they're very happy with whatever from
KMA as well, like they don't know their difference, And.
Speaker 5 (34:24):
A lot was just from like I think I did
it one hundred dollars lay by at Big W So yeah,
maybe that.
Speaker 4 (34:29):
I mean that's not the worst.
Speaker 5 (34:31):
No, it's not the worst, and I loved it. So
other than that, probably just relax on the budget from
my Matt leave. But I'm kind of trying to give
myself grace given there's been a lot going on.
Speaker 4 (34:44):
I feel like that's really fair. Yeah, like let's embrace
that idea. How about we do give ourselves a little
bit more grace just always just in general, Like, I
think you deserve it, and I mean we just touched
on it before, but you said, look, I reckon, I'm
a c right now. But I was a bee my
before and then you like took me through everything you
did financially and not finance, I mean you're investing, You're
(35:06):
doubling in Superhero because you want your kids to invest.
Like you've got a mortgage, you're paying that off. You've
got some really nice equity there. You obviously have a
pretty okay, like very nice looking, super fun Let's be honest,
and like you seem to just have your stuff together. Girl,
you were writing your dad's eulogy while you were thirty
nine weeks pregnant, Like, be for real, come on, like
you've got your shit together, and then you're like probably
(35:28):
you c at the moment. Do you feel like, after
we've had this chat and like read out your money story,
do you think that that's fair for that person who's
been through all of that.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Probably not.
Speaker 5 (35:38):
I know I am definitely the person that's always a
little bit hard on myself, But yeah, I maybe it'd be.
Speaker 4 (35:44):
Look, I get it, but like let's just give ourselves
a little bit more grace, especially right now, like you
deserve it. You deserve it.
Speaker 5 (35:51):
I know I need to definitely for the grieving process,
I need to be as kind as I possibly can
to myself, I think, but yeah.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
One hundred percent you do. Oh my goodness, it has
been a pleasure getting to know you. Thank you for
sharing so much about your mum and your dad, like
it was a pleasure. They sound like they were delightful
human beings. And having gotten to know you what over
the last half an hour, I feel like the apple
didn't fall that far from the tree. So like, I
feel like your kids are probably gonna say the same
things about you that you're saying about your mum, which
(36:20):
is beautiful, Like that's so good. Like that to me
is ultimate goals.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
It is ultimate goals.
Speaker 4 (36:24):
And I really do hope so oh, I know, so
thank you.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
I know so.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
I wish we had more time, but unfortunately that's all
we've got time for today. So thank you so much
for sharing that with us. I'm genuinely just so grateful,
And I wish that we're in the same stake because
I feel like we get on we are probably a
similar type of human being. Yes, I'm not surprised. Thank
you so much.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
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(37:12):
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Speaker 2 (00:44):
She's on the Money.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
She's on the Money.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
that lets you be pervy about other people's money habits
for educational purposes, of course. Welcome back to another one
of our money daries, where I get the absolute privilege
of sitting down and having a good chat with one
of our She's on the Money. Community members, Let's jump
straight into it, because this week I got a message
and it sounded exactly like this, Dear, she's on the money.
(01:30):
My story is one of painful grief combined with postpartum
and navigating it all while trying to be an executor
of my dad's estate with a co executor who does
not have the best of intentions. It's been the year
of big lows and highs. With my dad passing away
just a week before my son was born, we had
to navigate funeral expenses and now finalize his estate, including
(01:52):
managing all of his bills and debts and selling my
family home to pay for it all. My mum also
passed when I was only twenty six. All of this
has happened with a new baby, our own mortgage and
mortgage and finances to navigate with a send link parental
leave pay kicking it into boot. It still feels as
though I haven't even been able to properly grieve as
(02:13):
I desperately am trying to work my way through all
of the administrative burden of it all. Money Diarist, this
is awful. I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. Yeah,
that sounded even more awful when you read it back
to me, when you put it down on paper, it
just like kind of kicks you in the guts, doesn't it.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 5 (02:32):
Yeah, it's been such a wild at least five years actually,
probably since my mum got sick.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
I was about to say, like with your mom passing,
I feel like that it's just like a rollercoaster from then,
because like I feel like a postpartum and before you
did mention that you have a three year old, You've
just been going through it girl.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
I know.
Speaker 5 (02:51):
And I remember thinking back like just before we got engaged,
so just before my mum actually got sick, and being like.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Wow, our life is just like how lucky are we
with so like we're in Hawaii.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
We got engaged, like everything felt perfect, and then she
was diagnosed probably I think six months later or twelve
months later, and then from then it was sort of yeah,
it just never really got off the really wild rollercoaster.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
No, it just kept going. I'm so sorry. All right,
I'm going to ask the first question before we get
into it. If I asked you to give yourself a
money grade, what money grade would you give yourself from
A through to F.
Speaker 5 (03:29):
I was thinking well before postpartum. I think I was
a B minus probably navigating life. Right now, I'm sitting
on a solid C.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
I would think that right now, navigating all of this,
you're solid A like to get through all you just
got to have your shit together. I'm sorry, like you
might not feel that way, but like it's a lot.
Speaker 5 (03:48):
Yes, yes, the administrative burden of it all is just huge,
Like it's low.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
It's a hectic. So let's rewind a little bit. I
want to know about your money story, but I actually
want to know about your mum. You said she when
you were only twenty six, and before that you were
like in Hawaii celebrating life, and then she got diagnosed
I'm assuming with a form of cancer. Talk to me,
what happened? Who was your mum?
Speaker 5 (04:10):
So she was just amazing and yeah, it's lovely to
speak about her because you don't get to all that often,
especially when they've passed. I guess more than five years ago.
They talk about grief in like stages and past five
years people kind of stopped saying their names.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
So thank you.
Speaker 5 (04:26):
Yeah, she was still working, so she was only early
sixties at this point. She was a teacher, aide for
special needs kids. So she was always so.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
She was a special human as well. Stop it.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
Yeah, she was always and mum and dad both were
like low income earners, you know. She stayed home with
me until we went to school and then she got
a job at my school sort of thing. So we
just pretty much spent all our time together until I
was of I guess a young adult and moved out
of home after UNI. So, yeah, she unfortunately got diagnosed
(05:01):
with cancer while still working in her early sixties.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
She had bow cancer.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Oh and that one's an awful one. I mean they're
all awful, but that's that's awful.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
And it was it was quite quick in terms of like,
you know, her she'd done the bow screening, it had
actually come back okay, and where it was positioned, it
just was extremely aggressive and difficult to operate on, hard
to treat, you know, they tried chemo radio.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
It was.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Yeah, just such a roller coaster until she pretty much
she passed away actually a week after our wedding.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
Oh mom, but thanks for holding on. Literally. Yeah, So
she was just so so strong. That woman had a mission.
She was like, God, we're going to make the wedding.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
We're going to make it.
Speaker 5 (05:44):
So that was about I think it was eighteen months
after she was originally diagnosed, and she pretty much it
got to the May June of that year. Our wedding
was in the November. This was the year of COVID actually,
so twenty.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
Oh yeah, yeah, that's you know what. I'm sorry, Like
shout out to your mom for going through all of
that junk while going through COVID as well, because like
going to appointments and having all of those additional restrictions,
like that's not fair.
Speaker 5 (06:14):
I still remember, like the Easter of that year was
the Easter. I know you're in Melbourne, so I know
you had it rougher than I and here in Queensland with.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
What you're telling me right now, I definitely didn't have
it rough for babe. I was just stuck at home.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Okay, yeah, that's true.
Speaker 5 (06:29):
So I remember it was the Easter of that year
and you like you couldn't even gather to celebrate Easter
like it was that and like that always made me
a bit sad. Like we tried to, we all did
our best, did your best, but you couldn't, like the
restrictions were wild. So that was a bit sad that
that happened in her last year. But yeah, we sort
of got to the May June and she pretty much
(06:49):
deteriorated from there, but really did hold on. I remember
at my hen's party, she like was determined to make
it and she did. She sat there and watched the
stripper that my friends organized, Thanks Mum, literally is so hilarious.
But yeah, so she made it. And then at my wedding,
(07:10):
she was really sick. She'd sort of entered palliative care
the week before, but she she made it, and for
the ceremony at least she we got her accommodation on
the site and one of her best friends came and
stayed with her so she was able to come to
the ceremony. We got some really amazing photos, which was yeah, perfect.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Really cool to keep.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
And then yeah, so that's where, Yeah, it was a
crazy journey for that period, and here we are again
sort of in a comparatively crazy period.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
That is a joke, Like I'm not trying to make
light of this. That's just honestly the biggest piece of bullshit, Like,
imagine going through all of that, and then later you're like, cool,
I'm gonna have another baby, Like this is you know,
really exciting, and then something's happening with your dad. So oh,
sounds like Mum was a trooper. Like, sounds like Mum
was icon Like anyone who works as a teacher's age,
(08:03):
you just know they're a good egg, Like you just
know that they care. And like the fact that she's like, girl,
we're making the strippers, like we're going, We're gonna be
there for that. Like you just know she was a
good mom, right, she was.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
She was the best.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
So tell me about your dad.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
So dad, they were both equally.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
Actually, I was at a mother's group the other day
and we got asked the question of like what do
you want to pass on to your children? And I
spoke about how I felt like Mum and Dad collectively
were like just both so amazing, but they were both
so different. So Mom was a really really nurturing, loving,
you know, there for everything, just most amazing mom. Like
when I was twenty two and still going to stay
(08:41):
at their house, she would like heat up the bed
and put my pajamas under the pillow sort of thing.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
Oh, she was perfect.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
She was literally all the way till the end, like
it was crazy. And then Dad was like charismatic like
super hilarious, you know, like the joker everyone commented at
is of just how hilarious he was. So like, together,
they were just such an amazing little team. So I'm
very grateful for that. I wish I had longer with them,
(09:09):
but yeah, they were the best while we got them
here on earth.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
That sounds so traumatic, but also they just sound like
such beautiful people, Like they just sound like like, I
hope that one day my kids speak about me in
the same way that you're speaking about your parents, Like
how pretty is that? Like that's just so good, right,
Like I hope that Harvey is one day like oh
my mom, Like that would be that I would have
made it.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
Yeah, definitely, And even just like the people that said
stuff to me at both of their funerals, like some
of Mum's students said, you know, at some points in
their lives, she was the only person they felt like
was there for them or who they could fully speak to.
And like similarly, like friends that I'd grown up with
and I hadn't spoken to for years were like, oh
my god, your dad was just like the best dad ever,
(09:53):
Like you're so lucky sort of thing. So yeah, it
was lovely to when people are able to say that
to you and you're a you get that opportunity to
speak about them.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Yeah, that's so nice, So talk to me. What happened
with your dad?
Speaker 5 (10:07):
So then dad, he was actually doing really well. He
hadn't had the best health during his life, but in
the last probably since my daughter was born in twenty
twenty two, he was doing really well. But on so
you're not going to probably believe this, but on her
first birthday, he was picking up her birthday cake and
I was calling his phone because it was a little
(10:27):
bit delayed, and then a random man answers and says,
I think your dad's having a stroke.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Of course, God, I know.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
I was in the park, it was starting to pour
rain and I was holding like soft play that I
needed to set up for the party.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
Yeah, because it's a first birthday. Like those are completely
opposite scenarios.
Speaker 5 (10:46):
Oh so then I raced to obviously where he was.
By that time, the ambulance had already taken him because
he was having a severe stroke. Oh no, yeah, so
the birthday cake was still strapped in the back of
his car.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
Of course, it was He's like, I would just let
me deal with this. I'd just strap this in. Oh
there's something going on with me. I know.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
It was literally in a seat belt and he'd, luckily
he'd stop to get the newspaper. Who knows why, because
he was on his way to the party.
Speaker 4 (11:13):
Because he's a dad, he's a stereotypical day he's got
it needs a paper. What if it was boring soft
plays not for adults.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Well that's the thing.
Speaker 5 (11:21):
So but thank god he got that newspaper because he
could have been on the road when it happened. He
was luckily returning from the shop and kind of collapsed
into his car and.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
There was somebody there to pick up his phone. My god.
Speaker 5 (11:34):
Yeah, So he survived that, but it was like a
very close call, like it was a severe stroke and
they had to operate immediately sort of thing to remove
the clot But then he was never the same unfortunately
after that. So then we had about a year with him,
oh was it a year? About another eighteen months pretty
much of navigating who he was then and his life.
(11:56):
He spent about four months in rehab after that, so
he could walk and he could mostly use his arm,
although he had to relearn all the fine motor skills
and things like that.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
But then yeah, and I'm assuming he probably couldn't talk
if that's how severe it was.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
He could, but it's sort of changed who he was.
So what I was sort of talking about how funny,
and he pretty much lost that part of him.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
His personality.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Yeah, he really became a different person.
Speaker 5 (12:22):
So it was really difficult to navigate with that as well,
like learning who he was then he was a different
like before.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
Yeah, because it does change you, like it changes your brain,
it changes literally everything. And it's scary as well, like
for you going through this as well, Yes, awful awful
for him, but like as his daughter, to watch your
dad become somebody that's arguably unrecognizable is terrifying. Like it
is so scary, like you, just like I don't know
this person. I don't know how they're reacting. And a
(12:52):
lot of the time when these things happen, they're not
Oh he's just different. It's usually partnered with things like
aggression and yes, things that wouldn't make a lot of
sense for them to say that feel uncomfortable, and I
think that that's really confronting. Yeah, yeah, definitely the uncomfortable
because he was always a joker, so he tried to
(13:13):
keep that because like, deep down here, that's who he was.
He knows who he is. It's just not how he
can show up.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
It was.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Yeah, so it was, yeah, so tricky to navigate because
before that, he like I used to work from home
one day a week. I would set up like the
playroom and he would come and look after my daughter
while I worked from home. Like it was like two worlds.
That day, on her first birthday, everything changed again. So
I'm so glad we got that year because my daughter
(13:41):
has such beautiful memories and she's such a little old
soul that she says things now about my son, like
he can't how come he never got to have a
picture with Poppy, Like she knows. We've talked about it,
but it is still a tricky concept to navigate with
a three year old.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
And yeah, but.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
That's so sweet. She remembers, like she's so little and
still gets it, Like how cool is that?
Speaker 2 (14:05):
I know?
Speaker 5 (14:06):
And she everything of hers that he's bought her. I
always try and say, like, oh, Poppy got you that.
We'll have a conversation about it. She's like, Poppy got
me this, and like it's like she loves it even
more which is so special.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
She's so sweet. She's also like I know what this
means to me. How sweet?
Speaker 2 (14:23):
I know.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
Yeah, And then fast forward, you said you got another
eighteen months with dad and you were pregnant. Did you
see this coming?
Speaker 5 (14:31):
No, Well, he was unwell and the GP had sort
of a few times been like go to emergency and
get your heart checked, like I guess health as well
as like a stroke, you know, it does does deteriorate
overall for a person after something so severe, and obviously
his mental health wasn't great after this, But no, it
(14:51):
was completely I was thirty eight weeks pregnant maybe on
the dot or almost thirty eight weeks pregnant, And yeah,
my brother called me that morning and it was completely random,
just out of the blue. Like we didn't get an
autopsy because the paramedic asked me if I wanted that,
and my auntie, who was pretty much his best friend,
(15:14):
we sort of agreed that we didn't need to put
him through law. He was very unhealthy at that point,
so his doctor was able to say, you know, like
it could have been one of many things, but it
was still as much as it was almost like a
relief that he was out of the pain that he
went through in the previous eighteen months.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
It was still a big shock.
Speaker 5 (15:36):
And I think I've had two different grief periods, Like
I've had the you know it's coming kind of thing.
I actually thought, like we bought a house, we were
planning to well, I was trying to get him sorted
to build a granny flat here so he could have
money in the bank and just because he was struggling
on the pension and all of those things.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
But we never quite got there.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
So, yeah, he sounds so sweet too, sound like your mum.
You explained your mum, and then just the way that
you're like speaking about your dad, I'm like, oh, hey,
the appul has not fallen that far from the tree.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
So tell me what that's like, because like, you get
a call from my brother your dad's passed away. That's horrific.
But you're thirty eight weeks pregnant, and that's meant to
be a joyous period of life, right, that's meant to
be like a period that you're just so excited. How
do you navigate that?
Speaker 5 (16:24):
We were actually like, luckily we were at my niece's
birthday because my daughter, like obviously with children, you like,
I try and be open with it, but you try
and mask some of the intenseness of emotions, like you
can't be trying to protect them. You do, and but
obviously my reaction immediately to that phone call was like
what she'd never seen before. So then I had to
(16:46):
quickly like rein it back in to tell her that
Mummy needed to go for a minute.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
And luckily she was with her cousins and her nanny.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
So she could, so she was like, yeah, pop off, Mom,
I love being here. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:56):
So she was half like that, I saw you really
sad and I want to stay with you, but also
I really like my cousins and I'm happy to stay here.
So that was sort of a blessing and a curse.
So she was there, and then we went to mum
and Dad's house and I was sort of out the
front because Moum did pass away also in the family home,
and I was just refusing to go in, and the
(17:16):
paramedic had to come out and be like.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
We need you.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
You were thirty eight weeks pregnant and this was in February,
so like the hottest part of the Queensland summer.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
Yeah, and it was hot.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Yuck.
Speaker 5 (17:26):
No thanks, I'm just out the front because I was like,
I can't go.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
In, just hanging out in the heat, because you're like,
I can't do this again.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
I can't do it again.
Speaker 5 (17:34):
So eventually they moved him back to his bed so
he was comfortable, and like, I never went down that
end of the house.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I just sort of went outside.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Maybe you could come in the house and maybe not
be absolutely straining yourself in the heat.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
Yes, So we just went and sat there until all
the logistics of that part of it was sorted. And yeah,
I guess after that came the whirlwind of quickly planning
a funeral. Came before I was forty weeks pregnant and
having a baby.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
So you had I'm assuming the funeral the week after
or so, is that right? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (18:09):
I literally quickly planned it, and luckily my Auntie is
just amazing, so she helped us with the financial side
of things to be settled upon the estate settlement, so
we could just quickly go ahead and organize something, which
literally happened the week after. And because I'm a lunatic,
because for Mom's funeral, I did the eulogy, the video,
the booklet, like everything.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
Yeah, of course you did, see you are your mom's daughter.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
And so I was determined to do it again, even
though like I knew I should it, and I knew
I didn't have the capacity, but I was like, but
I did it for mum, so I wanted to do
it for dad.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
And I bet you don't regret that, though, I bet
you're like, no, I'm glad I.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Did no, And I love the video.
Speaker 5 (18:48):
And you know, every time I go to a family
member's house and they've got the little booklet up on
the mantelpiece, that makes me feel happy.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Yeah, you're really proud.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Yeah, yeah, So we did that.
Speaker 5 (18:57):
And then I like I told my midwe life what
was going on, and I'd just gone for some extra
checks around them and just got some monitoring.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
Yes much, thank god.
Speaker 5 (19:06):
But like he was just completely fine, and literally he
was vibing.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
He's like, Mum, you seem stressed. I would just hang
out here for a bit, all right.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
He just hung out like he was just so fine.
Speaker 5 (19:17):
And then I even like I booked the induction or
my due date, I ended up going in a few
days earlier just because like I felt like my brain
couldn't comprehend movements at that point in time, so I
was stressing myself more so we ended up having the
induction and like it was literally like Dad passed away
a week later, the funeral a week later, I gave birth.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
Oh no, and doing all of that, and you mentioned like, yeah,
we had to like navigate funeral expenses throughout that time.
Like money is so stressful at the best of times.
Money when you're going through that is even more stressful.
But now you're trying to finalize his estate, but you've
said there's maybe a co executor that doesn't have the
(19:59):
best intentions. That's another level of stress that is just
not necessary. So how are you navigating What does that
look like?
Speaker 5 (20:06):
Oh, it's been pretty awful in terms of like somebody
who should be a big part of like the support
network in postpartum is just not around. And that's because
of substances that they've engaged with for a long period.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
So that's not a surprise but also still heartbreaking.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
Yeah, like we always knew it was bad, and when
my mom passed away, it probably exasperated at all. I
suppose people that's no excuse for them, but deal with
things differently, I guess. But yeah, like since that has passed,
this person has pretty much well they never actually contacted
me when I had the baby, you know, to see
if I was okay. So all communication has pretty much
(20:45):
been through the solicitor now because obviously, which is why
I wrote in the money story actually because the joint
executorship thing is, I actually had no idea about it.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Like it's good in theory.
Speaker 5 (20:55):
Yeah, and Dad always said to me, He's like, don't
worry because I'd be like Dad. This person lived with
Dad for a long time for free. They're about ten
years older than me. So it always irked me because
Dad struggled so much with money after his stroke. Well
we slaved away on our mortgage and all now you know,
it frustrated me.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
Yeah, and they're just kind of like taking a free
ride and basically taking advantage of your dad. And you're
watching that happen and that's hurtful, Like that's not okay,
And like you seem like a different personality as well,
because like you just told me before, like oh, our
plan was smash down our mortgage, build a granny flat
so Dad could move in because I could see he
was struggling on the pension. That's literally the exact opposite
(21:36):
of what you've just explained, So like that would be
so hard to navigate.
Speaker 5 (21:41):
And it was so frustrating because even during that time
of us trying to get Dad to sell the family
home to build, like I was even planning on, you know,
the Brannie flat would be like a building that if
Dad passed away, it could literally just be picked up
on a truck and sold and taken away, just like
a family home. Like our property was not essential benefiting
from it. That this person said to my dad many times,
(22:03):
like what about my inheritance.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
It's actually not your inheritance.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
It's his money to spend on his.
Speaker 4 (22:09):
Life right now.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
And that's what I wanted for him so bad, because
at the end he just wanted to go to the
pub and have a stake icon honestly, icon exactly. And
there were weeks that he would call me and be
like Georgia on my account, so overdrawn, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Why, like and like.
Speaker 5 (22:24):
It was just so frustrating at the end because I
couldn't help him, and I just wanted him to just
like Mom and Dad slaved at that mortgage their entire lives.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
They paid every bit of.
Speaker 5 (22:32):
Interest to the bank that they possibly could, and actually
he paid his last mortgage repayment while he was in
hospital after the stroke.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
I stop it.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
No, that's heartbreaking, I know.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
And it was so weird.
Speaker 5 (22:46):
I remember it had come out maybe his account was overdrawn,
and I was fixing it because that's the other thing
that happened. I used to sort of help him manage
the money. And then about once this person moved into
his house, the control got lost.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
So it's all, yeah, it sounds like I'm mad. And
so you're going through this process and is the solicitor
kind of aware that this is going on. I feel
like these people generally have some level of nows.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Yes they do, And I think that's the thing, like
when they come to an appointment, they're very like you know,
if you met them in the street, you would be like, oh,
like they're an okay person, you know, like what a delight? Yeah, yeah,
which is exactly right. Thankfully, this solicitor has been sort
of like helping my family. For he supported my mom's
mom and then mum did the wills, so he sort of,
(23:33):
I guess had an idea. So he's been on the
journey very much with us, thank god.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Yeah, okay, and is that all kind of sorting itself
out or like, is that not going to go to plan?
Speaker 5 (23:44):
Well, so we're about like, my son just went four months,
So I just got the property on the market today,
which has been.
Speaker 4 (23:51):
Like just congrats.
Speaker 5 (23:53):
Yeah, it's been chaotic, but we got there.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Yeah, so we'll see how it goes.
Speaker 5 (23:59):
Obviously, we've still got the hurdles of negotiating the price
of the property. And you have a four month old,
so I'm assuming you're still on matt leave and your
matt leave isn't meant to be spent doing this stuff,
but you've been doing will executive stuff and trying to
get a house on the market, like with a newborn.
You've now got a four month old. That's crazy. Did
you blink and then that happened?
Speaker 2 (24:19):
I know.
Speaker 5 (24:19):
He's so yeah, Like he had a bit of a
wildforce trimester.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
He cried a fair bit.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
But now he's like just this happy little guy that
smiles all the time. Like he literally just everyone who
sees him, he'll be like making them like full body
smile and like getting tears in their eyes because he's
like laughing to get the attention.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
He's like, look at me, he is.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
I know.
Speaker 5 (24:40):
So it brings you sort of back down to earth,
I think, having a little person.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
Yeah, and so what were you doing when you went
on matt leave? Like what was your job and how
much money did you earn?
Speaker 5 (24:50):
Yes, so I worked in the public service for the
last year. I did four days a week, so I
was about ninety thousand.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Plus super Oh that's good. Yeah, which was good. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
I only got a pay rise just before Mattley, which
was a lovely little bonus.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
And then having paid parentally was awesome for that.
Speaker 5 (25:08):
I got twelve weeks so before my job previously was
it a not for profit? Oh yeah, and you wouldn't
have got that no, So I did sort of make
that move in the chaos of my life just to
help us along a little bit, knowing we wanted to
have another kid.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
Yeah, that's so good. And so then you went on
to like obviously maternity leave, and you then got your
paid parental leave and like the centling parental leave like
pay kicking in. Tell me about that because you specifically
put that in your submission. So I'm assuming it's a
pain in the butt.
Speaker 5 (25:40):
It is, And I think because I like interest rates.
When I was on matt leave with my daughter in
twenty twenty two were much lovelier and we kind of
had a lovely time. You know, We're like out to
lunch some days, just living our best life.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
But now it's like I knew it.
Speaker 5 (25:55):
Was going to hit, And I think that's why I
sort of said I felt like I was a c
at this point in Mattley because I was great at budgeting.
I was a little bit controlling, like when we get paid,
I like to just like pay everything, like I would
sit down and do it for like a good hour
and make sure everything was like how I wanted it
with our bills, which I.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
Know is a bit psychotic. But no, but that's okay.
We just sometimes need to feel like leer in control.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
We do.
Speaker 5 (26:22):
Yeah, but I've let that control. I guess laps a
little bit now that I'm on maternity leave and don't
have the brain space.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
That's okay. Sometimes we can just like let that lapse,
like you're allowed to relax. Sometimes, I promise, let's go
to a really quick break because on the flip side,
I have a lot of questions. So guys don't go
anywhere all right, money dist we are back talk to me.
You have a mortgage? Is that your big money goal?
(26:49):
Like pay that off or like what are you currently
working towards financially? Yeah, So, as I said, we bought
this property, we had built brand new, and then last
year we actually sold our brand new house and built
a renovator on a bigger block. It wasn't a full
renovator like the previous owner have like painted it new carpets,
(27:10):
so it was okay for us to move straight in.
So we've just been sort of doing bits and pieces,
but we haven't sort of like jumped into any huge
renovations just yet, Like we haven't ripped out the kitchen
and we're living off a cooked top in the bathroom yet.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
No, not yet.
Speaker 5 (27:26):
That's definitely it needs it needs it, so that would
be our first goal, and then obviously to pay it
down as much as we can, whether or not we
sell here and move somewhere different when not quite school,
but only because like, as much as I love it,
it does have that last little connection to I wanted
to build a Grammy flat here for Dad, but we
(27:46):
couldn't sort of thing.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
So yeah, no, totally and that does cloud it a
little bit. Sometimes you just go, you know what, I
want a fresh start, like I want to clean sleep.
I don't want to walk into my garden and just
think about that every single time. But also like reframe
that what a beautiful intention. I know you didn't get
to do it, but like imagine being the person that
that's how you're thinking, Like, oh, I would love to
put my parents or my dad in the backyard and
(28:09):
like take the financial pressure off him. Like what a
beautiful sentiment, Like you're a special human because you know what,
there are so many people that would be like I
would never do that cool, but like I would.
Speaker 5 (28:21):
It would have been hard, I think, and as he
changed over the last year, like definitely, but it would
have been really cool too. Like I always like had
little thoughts of you know, like just him pottering around
the yard with you know, my kids, or like could
just sit in his granny flat and we put a
pool and they could watch him swim and you know,
like just lovely things like that.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
Yeah, And hopefully with time, maybe that gets a little
bit easier because like I think that you still clearly
haven't dealt with this, like in the nicest possible way,
you haven't had time to grieve, because girl, you've just
come out of newborn territory and you just told me
that he didn't really like not crying, so he was
a busy boy, keeping you probably very distracted. But like
(29:02):
grief is fickle, yes.
Speaker 5 (29:03):
And I think that's why I really wanted to get
their property sold and organized. But it was really challenging
with the joint executor, not actually just wanting. He essentially
stopped talking to me because he wanted to live there
for free, I think, which like obviously it made it
much harder for me to get things organized, so he
won to a degree. But hopefully now that we've got
(29:26):
it on the market, we can get a buyer and
I can close that part of my life and move forward.
Speaker 4 (29:31):
Yeah, there's just a chapter we can close, and maybe
once all of that settles, then you can take a
big breath and maybe grieve then a little bit more,
because you're like, there's not a lot of weight on
my shoulders now, Like I don't actually have any responsibilities. Now,
I can just be the daughter who has lost her.
Speaker 5 (29:49):
Parents, Yes, which is so much nicer than being a guaranteel.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
Oh my goodness, Yeah, that's a lot, My friend, that
is a lot. So tell me a bit more about money.
Do you and your husband invest if so in what? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (30:04):
So obviously I'm a bit of a podcast lover of yours.
So I had started investing in chares ease. I haven't
got heaps there because I was just chipping away a
little bit per week. So I think there's five hundred
dollars in ETFs for us.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
Oh see, that's good.
Speaker 5 (30:20):
Well it Actually I was a bit stoked the other
day because obviously the market's gone a bit up considering
what's been going on. So I was looking at the
return at the moment, I was like, oh, look at that,
like from my little twenty dollars a fortnight, you know, yeah,
from little things.
Speaker 4 (30:33):
Big things really do grow.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Yeah, so I've got that.
Speaker 5 (30:37):
And then I've also I've started dabbling with Superhero to
have the split accounts for the kids, so yeah, cute. Yeah,
So I've started investing for each of them. I sort
of started for my daughter, but I was, I think
still learning, so now that my son's here, I kind
of ramp hers up and was trying to make them equal.
I was calculating that to what I would would have
(30:58):
done with when she was born.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
So yeah, we've got that obviously.
Speaker 5 (31:02):
That would be another sort of money goal once a
few other things. Yeah, kick chipping away that, bro, I suppose.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
I love that. And talk to me about superannuation. You
mentioned before that you earn ninety thousand dollars plus super.
But you're in like a public service role. Is super
a big part of your salary because I'm assuming if
you're in public service, maybe you get better than average superannuation.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
Yeah, it's not that much better. It's by one percent
than the average.
Speaker 4 (31:28):
I mean, I'll take it. It's better than a kick
in the pants.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Better than nothing, I suppose.
Speaker 5 (31:32):
So it's ticking along, okay, I think I think it's
sitting at about eighty thousand mine. Now my husband's is
much nicer because he's also been in a government role
for many years. But yeah, it's just being on centilinkly
and not getting any super right now is a little
bit frustrating given it's coming in very soon.
Speaker 4 (31:50):
But anyway, yeah, that would be so annoying. You'd be like,
excuse me, like essentially a year, you know, give or take.
Speaker 5 (31:57):
I think, you know whatever, it is five and a
half once you get at the moment. So yeah, over
two maternity leaves. It's a little frustrating, but.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
It's a lot, and that's why we have to talk
about it and think about it. Talk to me about debt.
You mentioned that you have a mortgage. What does that
look like.
Speaker 5 (32:14):
Yeah, so it's a little bit large and in charge
at the moment.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
But our house hopefully would be worth about.
Speaker 5 (32:21):
One point two at the moment, and we owe I
think seven fifty on it.
Speaker 4 (32:26):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 5 (32:27):
Yeah, obviously when we bought and sold in the same market,
paying stamp duty was a lovely kick in the bum.
Speaker 4 (32:34):
But yeah, stamp duty's not fun at all. Stamp duty
makes me sick.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
It's a bit gross.
Speaker 5 (32:39):
But yeah, so we've got that, and then I think
I've got about fifteen K on my car loan, which
is pretty much all that we have. So that would
be another goal to get rid of that, because that's
not the nicest to pay.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
I don't like paying that one.
Speaker 4 (32:53):
No, I don't think anyone does. But I'm assuming you
ended up with a car loan because you were like,
I need it.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Yes, I think I was.
Speaker 5 (32:59):
Just on that leave with my daughter and my car
was just I've been driving my husband's car because it
was much safer actually, But I think we're both going
back to work and we're just like, let's just get
rid of it and we'll just have one car loan.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (33:11):
Fair, very fair call. So talk to me. I feel
like you said, oh I am a C, but I
was a B minus. I feel like you're probably better
than that. You're just not giving yourself enough credit. It
sounds like you're the type of person that's relatively harsh
on themselves. But that's okay. Tell me, what do you
think your best money? How it is?
Speaker 5 (33:29):
As much as I was a little bit controlling, I
think I am really good at budgeting, and it was
pretty much like we were a little bit frivolous. I
suppose when interest rates started to rise and I was
on Matt leave, I think.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
I got really good at it then.
Speaker 5 (33:42):
So as much as I was controlling, I felt like
our money really was like sortied organized and like I
always felt good about it. I hate the feeling of
like just spending a little bit willy nilly and not
knowing what you're opening in your bank account.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Back just gives me the hebgb's So, I.
Speaker 4 (33:59):
Mean that's good. What do you think your worst money
how it is?
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Then probably spending money on my kids.
Speaker 5 (34:05):
I was just was my daughter's birthday this morning, and
after I got all of her presents out last night,
I was like, she has so much stuff, and I
was like, did I really need to buy all of this?
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Like I don't think I spent a lot. Obviously, it
looks more when they're little because you can just get
little things.
Speaker 4 (34:19):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and they're very happy with whatever from
KMA as well, like they don't know their difference, And.
Speaker 5 (34:24):
A lot was just from like I think I did
it one hundred dollars lay by at Big W So yeah,
maybe that.
Speaker 4 (34:29):
I mean that's not the worst.
Speaker 5 (34:31):
No, it's not the worst, and I loved it. So
other than that, probably just relax on the budget from
my Matt leave. But I'm kind of trying to give
myself grace given there's been a lot going on.
Speaker 4 (34:44):
I feel like that's really fair. Yeah, like let's embrace
that idea. How about we do give ourselves a little
bit more grace just always just in general, Like, I
think you deserve it, and I mean we just touched
on it before, but you said, look, I reckon, I'm
a c right now. But I was a bee my
before and then you like took me through everything you
did financially and not finance, I mean you're investing, You're
(35:06):
doubling in Superhero because you want your kids to invest.
Like you've got a mortgage, you're paying that off. You've
got some really nice equity there. You obviously have a
pretty okay, like very nice looking, super fun Let's be honest,
and like you seem to just have your stuff together. Girl,
you were writing your dad's eulogy while you were thirty
nine weeks pregnant, Like, be for real, come on, like
you've got your shit together, and then you're like probably
(35:28):
you c at the moment. Do you feel like, after
we've had this chat and like read out your money story,
do you think that that's fair for that person who's
been through all of that.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Probably not.
Speaker 5 (35:38):
I know I am definitely the person that's always a
little bit hard on myself, But yeah, I maybe it'd be.
Speaker 4 (35:44):
Look, I get it, but like let's just give ourselves
a little bit more grace, especially right now, like you
deserve it. You deserve it.
Speaker 5 (35:51):
I know I need to definitely for the grieving process,
I need to be as kind as I possibly can
to myself, I think, but yeah.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
One hundred percent you do. Oh my goodness, it has
been a pleasure getting to know you. Thank you for
sharing so much about your mum and your dad, like
it was a pleasure. They sound like they were delightful
human beings. And having gotten to know you what over
the last half an hour, I feel like the apple
didn't fall that far from the tree. So like, I
feel like your kids are probably gonna say the same
things about you that you're saying about your mum, which
(36:20):
is beautiful, Like that's so good. Like that to me
is ultimate goals.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
It is ultimate goals.
Speaker 4 (36:24):
And I really do hope so oh, I know, so
thank you.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
I know so.
Speaker 4 (36:29):
I wish we had more time, but unfortunately that's all
we've got time for today. So thank you so much
for sharing that with us. I'm genuinely just so grateful,
And I wish that we're in the same stake because
I feel like we get on we are probably a
similar type of human being. Yes, I'm not surprised. Thank
you so much.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
If I shared on She's on the money is generally
nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on
the Money. This is purely for educational purposes and should
not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
If you do choose to buy a financial product, read
the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards
(37:12):
your needs. Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are
authorized representatives of money SHERPA Pty lt D A b
N three two one six four nine two seven seven
zero eight AFSL four five one two eight nine
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