October 18, 2020 • 33 mins
Have you ever carried a sperm sample in your armpit? Hamish Blake has, and he wants you to know all about it.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
My favorite conversations with people are when they share something
about themselves. I don't know, And I noticed that the
objects of our lives have so much meaning when you
stop and think about them, which got me wondering, what
if some of the world's funniest and most interesting people
chose three of their most treasured objects and shared the
stories behind them, stories you've never heard before.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It's difficult, right, It is difficult to distell it down
into three objects without just trying to like trick the
game to be like well, birth certificate. That's no fun
for anyone, And obviously for people that know me, well,
you know you've got your obvious ones, so like you know,
pound of cocaine, god, bullion, gun, Yeah, you know that's me, money, fame, power,
(00:43):
Pablo Blake, just condoms and handguns.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
And that's a toitle of your autobography is great.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
But then but then you sort of go, well, that's
not funny, that like, what what you can't do? Silly ones?
But I was walking around my house going, I, I mean,
I've got let stuff in my house.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
But you make it sound like you're a clown. Are
listening to clown? Is it a clown car?
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Or a tiny doors. I've got my cream pie machine.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Obviously that is very special size shoes.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
That's how I make my living's just making those cream bars.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I'm Christian O'Connell and this is the stuff of legends
today with Hamish Blake.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Hello, I'm Hamish Blake, esteemed guest of Christian Occupy.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Now when you chat to Hamish Blake, you've got to
have your a game. Seriously. It's like if you're a
black belt and you think you're pretty good, and then
suddenly you meet Hamish Blake. He humbled, you're a white belt.
He's just so funny, so quick. He's just on a
different he's just in a different atmosphere, and I've got
to be I was going into this. I was kind
of nervous because I thought, I, if it's all going
(01:49):
to be so quick and so funny, we might miss
on what this is really about. But he didn't turn
up like that. He didn't have his black belt ninth
down with him. He's a comedian, actor, author, one half
of Australia's most successful comedy duo, Hamish and Andy.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Often I get introduced as radio and television comedian, but
there are qualifiers to that like, I'm not exactly a
stand up median, but you wouldn't. I guess people put
that the word in because it's like, well, he doesn't
doesn't do serious stuff.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
So a silly.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Man, a modern day clown. Let's just kick him in
the ass and laughing him as he falls over. And
he's given us nothing else.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
No matter how well you think you know Hamish, his
three most treasured items are about to reveal so much more.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
So why don't we start? Why do we start with this?
This is a book, right? I know that's that is
that could be a little bit of it. That's an
easy option. But in the comedy field, right, trying to
trace back that feeling of what was the early rumblings
of like laughter is fun. I love I love that
other people are laughing. You know that you can make
someone else laugh. I love the idea of a joke
(03:00):
and being in on a joke and creating a joke.
This is a book. This is the book called The
Far Side Gallery by Gary Larson.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Yeah amazing.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
I was obsessed with fast side cartoons as a kid,
obsessed for bill that know them, You're they're like a
single cell cartoon. Often it's an absurd world presented very surreal,
very seriously.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
So if it was stand up, it's said years old, it.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Is it is, which is very you totally, but it's
you know, it's here. He goes like a parent, couple
of parents who look like there are the fifties in
America coming home. There's a witch there, like in a
witch's hat. She's looking a bit sheepish and grumpy. And
the dad's going, let me get this straight. You we
hired you to babysit the kids, and he's dead. You
cooked and ate them both in capitals, like both is
the worst part, Like one that he could have withstood,
(03:41):
but both is the worst. And she's like rolling her
eyes and being a bit scolden. But I was like,
and it's just a world of talking animals.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
And yeah, cows and dogs. I remember one Gary Laston
cartoon that sticks in my mind is that there's a
great one where there's a dog that's rolled up on
its master's bed at bedtime. They're all to sleep in there.
The cat's outside really annoyed looking into the and he's
trying to whisper through the wind.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Put the dog out.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yeah, I love Gary loss stuff. That's amazing though, So
how old are you when you got into Gary Larsen the.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Far so end of primary school, start of high school?
I remember because I remember, and I would, I would
print it, I would buy the calendar, the war calendar,
and I just cut out the cartoons and I just
put them all over my room, like every door in
my bedroom was fast side cartoons. Like I haven't I
haven't opened these books up for maybe ten years, but
I almost feel I used to be able to do this,
like totally easily. Almost feel if I handed you this
(04:31):
book and you open to any page and you told
me what was in the cartoon, I could tell you
the caption.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Do that.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Now I must, let's try. I mean, I reckon, I've
got a one in two shots be able to do
this flawlessly and you know it before you do it,
Like I think, what I'm looking back on it because
I really do see it as formative in my understanding
of comedy, the effort and the subtlety that Gary Larsen
would put into the comics. And it was the first
time I was like, this is a guy in America
that's written this weird thing, and I'm opening a book
(04:56):
here in Australia, and I get it and I love it,
and I sort of felt like I was part of
a little club. I think that's the bit that was
that pulled me in the most.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Oh these are brilliant. I've forgot how great these were. Okay,
all right, you got two middle aged looking people indoors.
There's two cows in their front room. One of the
cows is on their table.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Oh are they are? They are? They just sort of
shoot shoot get out?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
No, both the cows have got beers.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Hang on, are they are the cows are? One of
the cows is dancing. Yes, the cows are dancing on
one leg is kicking a leg. Yes, yes, it's something.
Oh damn it, I know I know this cell.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Go and give me the captain the husband as central
wife satisfied. I warned you not to invite the cows
in for a few drinks. How funny is that?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
They're great? Okay, one more, I haven't done this for
I mean, this used to be my party trick when
I was eighteen, so it isn't about twenty two years ago.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
All Right, two elephants are stood up. One elephant is
pointed to the backside of the other elephant with.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
His Oh, he says, I can't remember the name. He
was like, oh, I think you've I think you sat
in something. It's like a squashed man, a squash man
on his.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Squash man on his ass a safari. Ye, Well, Frank,
guess what you sat in? Frank?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Larry and Frank. They were always Larry's and Franks. And
then I discovered a bit later on that it was
like a thing that some people didn't like, the Fastide
because I thought it was a bit too weird, it
was a bit too intellectual. And I think I liked
that too that I was like, all right, I.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Enjoyed there's something left field and smart about them.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I enjoyed getting them. I enjoyed the thing. And then
when I was sort of sixteen or seventeen, Gary Larson
sort of retired and he released like an anthology but
where he talked about the cartoons, and he talked about
some of the cartoons that were too bizarre, that were
too weird, and there was a few in there. There
was like one which is called When Dogs Dream, and
so it's a dog dreaming and there's a car upside
(06:50):
down and the dog in his little thought bubble and
the dog has got it. He's caught the car, and
he's like yelling, like because one of these like tropes
was that dogs loved chasing cars, like dog Heaven would
be like cars made out of ham and stuff and
the dogs and they can catch the car.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
That's like a great vision of heaven to me.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
So in this one where dogs dreamed, and he was like, look,
I drew a car upside down and I wanted to
make it realistic in the car and he was trying
to move the gearbox around under the car and it's
sort of like a lump and a lot of people
thought was the dog humping the car but he was,
So they got a lot of backlash from that cartoon,
just going you're sick, like why would a dog dream
about humping the But he was like, that's meant to
(07:26):
be like triumphantly on top of his kill. But I
remember reading it too, like and and I think just going,
all right, there are people in the world who make
comedy and they put a lot of thought into it,
and they get it right a lot of the time,
and they get it wrong, and they're trying to figure
out how to do it better, and and you know,
and here's this guy that I idolized, and he's talking
(07:47):
about all the failures he's had where we just didn't
get it and he's laughing about them. And I really
and that I had a real impact on me that
I was like, yeah, it's not he's embarrassed or ashamed
because I was not a confident kid, Like I was
a you know, in all the normal insecurities. And then
somebody guess, so.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Were you not drama kid?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
I was a drama kid. I was a drama kid.
But you know, for me at that age, if I
was like, if I tried to do something funny and
it didn't work, I would be mortified.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah, because you're so acutely self conscious. Everything feels too fragile.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
And I think, and for some weird reason, reading those
books about someone going yeah, and I had all these
failures and isn't it funny because you.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Know, having that freedom, I was like, Oh, all.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Right, that's I didn't know that was an option, that
you could laugh about something not working and that it
actually becomes an even better story because it hasn't worked.
Fast Forwarding through my career now, I realized, like so
much of the best stuff always, especially with me and Andy,
you know, on travel shows and things like that, all
the best adventures we've had, and when things don't go
to plan, and so I grew up looking for things
(08:45):
that would maybe go off the rails like that seemed
like a fun idea to do. And then maybe.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Building in those traps and the door not openings to
open the door handle coming off.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Building in the chance for things to go wrong became
our signature almost So I don't know that was my
attempt to trace back that first introduction to that idea.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
That's brilliant though, that's great. Now I could totally understand
that his world that he built was a very playful,
surreal world, Wasn't it.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
So silly, so silly, and just a really weird world
presented very seriously.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
This is the stuff of legends today with Hamish Blake.
So far we've had Gary Larson's The Far Side Gallery book.
So what's his next treasured item?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Second item? This is the only real Centemona lineum I
could find in.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
It's in a box. And little things that are in
a box are they have important? They need to be
protected from the world.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Well, this is this is I came home one night,
I guess. It was like August September one night, two
thousand and thirteen, and I pulled out. I don't know
what this was. I'd been working all day. My wife
gave me this and it's a little onesie that says
world's best dad and a positive pregnancy test.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
That's how you found, That's how I found I was
gonna be a dad. And so I mean, I'm I'm
going to have to take a moment now.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
That's incredibly moving to do that, and I mean it
doesn't make logical sense because it's a world's best dad.
He's written in sharpie honor size zero zero zero zero onesie,
So it's actually should be world's best kid. Like that's
a very little dad. If this is the dad, I
don't know where the baby is. But I got what
she was trying to do. It didn't seem like the
(10:26):
right moment to go.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Do you think it was also done like a to
do list for you, like please get it right? Okay,
there'd be a little person in this. Just you know
what you're meant to do. It's just try and be
the world. Just shoot for it.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
He's got no one else but you. He's dead and you've.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Got you've got the stick.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
I guess I put that in there to like really
hammer at home.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
But cause you're not, this is shrunk so it won't
fit me.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
What do you mean? This is? This is this is
a terrible outfit and I'm not a dad. You're the
worst at present.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
We've got puppy. Where's the puppy that goes in this?
So it'll be the dad bubby. So what did it
mean to you when you found out you were going
to become a dad?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Well, I mean that you've been trying for a while,
or because it's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
I suppose when I was collecting my three items, I thought, well,
you can't I can't include a book about cartoons and
then forget to mention my kids. But I think I think, no,
we hadn't even really been trying for a while. But
it happened quite quickly. I mean literally, it was like
we had one month where I was like, right by
(11:18):
the way we're on and I was like okay. And
I think, as a guy, when you get told it's happening,
there's a bit of you that goes all right, Well,
even if we're a go today. I got nine months
to get my head a rest, so you got a
little bit of a buffer.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
We tried for a month. It didn't happen, and you know,
of course everyone's journey is very, very different. But Zoe
is quite impatient and she was like, you need to
go and get your sperm tested. I was like, he's
been one attempt and when you realize that the windows like,
you know, hours, like how tricky it all is. I
was like, I don't think I need to do it.
She's like, well, I'm not going to waste months and
(11:50):
months you got to get your sperm tests. I was like,
all right. And we lived opposite a hospital, live in Fitzroy,
and yeah, but.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
I don't think going to any hospital will go I'm
just here to where do I go from now?
Speaker 2 (12:00):
I've got something for you.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Just yo at bot well fly enough.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
It kind of almost haven't Like that week I went
into the place and I said I need to, you know,
get my spoons and they said.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Right, well, where do you live?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
I said, I actually live, you know, one hundred meters
away and I said we can do it at home
if you want, and then bring it in. They said,
but you've got to keep it warm. And so I
was like, right, I said, I think I will do
it at home. So take my little container home. Go home.
So I was like, how did it go?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Do you want me ask you why you did it
in the house?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Well, I walked through the front door, and I goes,
how did it go?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Said?
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Well, no, they said, they said I could come and
play a home.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Game, and we all know home advantage, Reddy cows and.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
The and she was working in her computer and the
weakness of going, well, I'll be back down, and I
was like, I should have stayed at the hospital. I
thought going home would make it feel less weird, like, well,
I'm going upstairs for a wank and I shan't be
down for four minutes. And then you do it and
they go and then they're like, you keep it walls.
(13:00):
I said to them, I was like, what do you
should I like in a little foil bag or something like.
They said, no, Look, honestly, people can live ten minutes
away and do it. And we say, either pop it
in you if you're driving between you in your lap,
right between your legs, skip water.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Do you get pulled over by the plane.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Even worse, they put it on your arm pit. So
I put it under my arm pit. And there's one
road I have to cross. It's a busy road in
Melbourne Alexander Parade, right, it's like three lanes.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Yeah, it's very busy road going.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Across to the Airpworth. So or is that whatever it
is over there? So I'm saying there and I've never
crossed a road more course'll see in my life because
I'm like, if I get hit by a car and
the paramedics like pick cutting his clothes off, the is this.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
What a great showfish story that would have been broken?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Always for good luck guys, you never know what you've
made it. So anyway, it turned out to be irrelevant.
Didn't need the test we're having quite quick quickly after that.
So you know, obviously having kids changed my life.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
How did it change it? Off? What did what did
it mean to you when you first? So your first
is a is a beautiful boy's sonny boy?
Speaker 2 (13:59):
So I think it just I mean I had a
very profound moment of going which I loved. If just
that just that like it was like a real click,
like a real switch went off in me, which where
you suddenly it's almost like a weight was lifted where
I was like, you know, oh, it's not all about
me anymore, And that was a great feeling. I mean,
(14:21):
I hadn't actively been going around going, remember it's all
about me. But I guess when you're in your twenties
and you know you don't have anym memities, it is
all about you. Yeah, And that's sort of how we were.
You know, you naturally live, and so to just suddenly
have this, I welcomed it, like it was a really
joyous feeling to get to happily kind of commit my
(14:42):
life to this little guy. And you know, then later
on his sister and I loved that feeling and I
had in a very this sounds a bit morbid when
I've talked about it before. Where I was I just
suddenly realized I was going to die, and I was
so fine with that. And I guess it was maybe
it was a real maybe just that feeling of going
I don't know, maybe it is literally primarly like where
you've on your code, that was the point of view
being here. You now have seen it, but it successfully happened.
(15:05):
You can die now, we have no more biological use
for you. And so but I felt like in an
very very really euphoric way.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
It's a humbling yeah, just a humble.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
I was like, oh my god, now you're maybe it's
that thing where like, for for that millisecond you're holding
Planet Earth's newest member. Yeah, like probably then half a
second later he gets pipped by someone being born in
Oslo or whatever.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
But for you seeing it and experiencing it through your eyes, at.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
That instant he held the title like, you know, newest
member of the club.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
For however, meet in the world's best dad.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Yeah, and I've got the bloody T shirt right to
prove it. So that for that tiny little second, I
think it was that that moment where I just was like, ah,
this is incredible. There's a new generation, Like now I'm
switching into helping mode and I and that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Man.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
It's something I've that changed my life.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
It's the best one.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Yeah. It's because some performers they struggle in the first
couple of years because it is about somebody else and
so much of their life and professional life it's all about.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Them of course, and especially our game. You you know,
unless you're aware of it, that's an easy trap to
fall into. It yeah, I think, I think and more
old will you're encouraged to based on a poster, have
everyone know who you are. You are very special.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
To pictures of you.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
And unless behind the scenes you're you're going to your
closest people. We we all know that's not true, and
that's a bit of a joke. And that's the game.
Unless you're conscious of aware of that game, I suppose
you can get sack into it and there's nothing to
make you more aware that you are nothing except a
valued member of the family who can be kicked and
punched for great amusements.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
And did you find that suddenly what you could derive
joy from expand as well, because I don't When I
was how much time I would spend just watching a
little person asleep and just you know, being so happy
like there's nowhere else into it.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Yeah, looking at leaves, yes, it's the best.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I mean either world in a totally different way through
new eyes.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Just pulling, you know, because I think naturally spend our
day going, ah, well, if if X happens, then I'll
be happy and I must get this and that I'll
be happy, and that kind of like fallacy.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
You're never really fully in the moment.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Yeah, that fallacy of chasing future things, whether it's like
achievements or objects or you know, accolades or whatever it is.
And then with your kids, it just pulls you back.
Your horizon just gets pulled right back to right now,
and you do have to work with it, like, you know,
I'm not perfect at at all, but to consciously be like, right, well,
be here, be on the trampoline. This game is the
most important thing now. Even if you had planned some fun,
(17:33):
you know, you're projecting your dad hopes.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Onto the day.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
If you're like, no, no, no, but I thought we could
build a kite and then I've planned we could take
it up to parking. If it's just not working and
being on the trampoline today and you know, playing no
arm slug one of my classics, is then that's just
what you're doing for that day. And so the fun
of of like love, letting go of plans too, and
just pulling it back to the moment. That's the constant joy.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
And what was your childhood Like are you closer to mom
and dad or yeah, pretty I say.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Fairly stocks ed normal in the sense that no one
has a normal childhood, But you know, normally like older
brother younger sister, grew up in the suburbs of Melbourne,
did all the regular things, did all the stuff that
I thought at the time, I was like, this is
so boring, Why do we have to do that? And
now if I myself making the kids the same stuff
like I remember, just I couldn't think of my parents
(18:20):
being lamer and more boring where sometimes they go, come on,
we go to the Dandy Knongs for a walk and
as a twelve year old or fourteen, and you're just
like this, you guys are the worst. Like when I'm
a parent, it's going to be movies, skate parks, lollies,
you guys, stink walking in Nature's gonna be the worst
thing I could think of to do today. And then
blowing the whole like without even consciously realizing it. Yeah,
(18:43):
we found ourselves a few weeks ago in the Dandy
Knocks for a walk. So you are you're doomed to
repeat it all right, last it And so another part
of my life this I'll give you a little preamble here,
A little part of my life I discovered later on,
(19:05):
maybe like when I was thirty, was not so much
exercise but like the idea of physically challenging yourself. I
wasn't a sporty kid growing up. Like we had the
option to do circus tricks or play sport at school,
and I just chose circus tricks because.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
You got the Russian state circus. What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (19:24):
I really wasn't going well. We weren't a sporty school.
And so a lot of big schools and like private
schools in Melbourne and you know, all over will do
Saturday morning sport, and that was not an option for us.
Wednesday afternoon was the sports allocated time, so you could
in year eleven, they wouldn't let you go home if
you didn't make a team, so you had to do
like we caught a dud sport. You had to do
(19:45):
like archery or lawn bowls. And for half a year
we did circus tricks because it was just like give
them tennis balls, teach about a juggle. And then in
year twelve, again if you weren't a sporty kid, you
just leave on a Wednesday afternoon, you just go home.
And I couldn't believe anyone pisport guys kidding me. You're
not back to four o'clock. I'm out of here at one.
(20:06):
You're covered in mud, like you stink of Murray's budge.
Because it was the nineties and everyone had like sparked hair,
so everyone was like sweating and had coconut like rivers
of coconut running down their face because it eats hair product.
And I was like, this is the worst. I can't
believe you guys have all fallen for this. So I
wasn't a pretty kid at all, just never appealed to me.
And I because I was a bit of a chubby
kid to I'd always just sort of been conditioned to
be like, that's just not you, that's not here anyway.
(20:28):
Little later on in life and through some stuff we
tried to do on the radio, you know, like standard
radio stuff, like I was one hundred and five kilos
and I had to like lose some weight to just
just to not be one hundred and five.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
That was your goal, I was like, it was.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
It was for a segment we were doing where I
realized on trampolines have one hundred kilogram weight limits. So
I was trying to get what we call tramp legal
because I was tramped illegal. I was trying to get
tramped legal and I started exercising a little bit and
through a few mates when they're like, look, we do
this thing like a bit of a boxing class, blah
blah blah. And I was around about thirty at the time, anyway,
got into it. That began a whole bunch of different
(21:03):
sort of avenues and stuff of actually doing like physical exercise,
and it became it's become quite a big part of
my life, not so much that I'm trying to be
an elite athlete anywhere, but discovering essentially, I guess the
joy of like physical suffering. I have a weird thing
in me where I I do like that side of things.
I like being in physical pain and so like rying machines.
(21:26):
I've done a marathon on a rying machine. I've done
a few tough things on a rowing machine, and like
long like bark rides. And I ran a marathon when
I were on radio because I bragged that I could
beat Katie Home. Katie Holmes was in WHO magazine or something.
She'd run a five and a half hour marathon and
I didn't know anything about running. I'd never run the
longest sid everyone in my life was four kilometers at
cross country at high school, which I hated, and.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
You were juggling at the time. I forget.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
So it's a unicycle. I had giant shoes on and
my grease paint was in my eyes. But I was like,
I didn't know any I was like, I know, a
marathon's about forty kilometers, but five and a half hours.
That sounds like anyone could do that in five and
a half hours. So it's a bit of what you said,
bit a smack talk happening on the radio, and Andy's like, mate,
it's still difficult.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
I think.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
I just I meant, isn't the world record like two
hours and a bit like five and a half? I mean,
you could stop for lunch. So that was on a Friday,
and then somehow because it's FM radio, it was like,
right next Monday, he's running a marathon.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
He's going to beat Katie Homes no training.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
No training, right, So the next Monday, I we did
it around albert Park Lake in Melbourne. We sort of
like measured it out. It's gonna be like nine and
a half laps of albert Park Lakes running track and
I'd start at twelve o'clock. Our show was on Fort
to six. Yeah, I start at midday, start running and
if it worked, I should be beating Katie Holmes a
round about five twenty nine in the afternoon. And so
(22:48):
Annie would do the show and like we'd drive next
to me and chat to me and and it was
like I had no business running that marathon. And especially
because Darby Day, which is a big day in the
Melbourne Race.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Yeah, huge.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Derby Day was the Saturday, yep. And I that morning,
when with my housemates did a practice jog of Albert Park,
went yeah, okay, it's pretty far, walked it ran it
went okay, don't burn yourself out before Monday. You're too
close to train. You should be tapering. I kind of
had an idea on my head how far it was.
We all went off to Derby there that day. I
got very I mean I was twenty five or something. Yeah,
(23:21):
quite I went.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
It was probably the biggest, one of the biggest drinking
days in the enjoyed the hospitality, yes, a lot of
Like there's a lot of footy players there who'd heard
about the marathon on Monday, who thought like the more
I drank, the funnier they was, because they're like, he's
starting a marathon on Monday.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Got back to our house, and we traditionally had quite
a large party house, and so a lot of people
from the races were back at our house. At about
two o'clock on Sunday morning, I freaked out and went,
oh my god, I've got to run marathon in twenty
four hours. So staggered up to the seven to eleven
and I bought like thirty sports drinks, just started pounding
them and I probably drank about four or five leters
of sports drinks. Went to bed, woke up, thought I'd
(23:58):
wet the bed, and real though I'd sweated all the
salts of the course drinker. And I was talking to
a man of mine who was a doctor. I was like,
why am I sweating so much? I was like, because
you've drunk all these electrolytes, but you haven't lost any
electro if you haven't done any exercise. So he's like,
see my pillow was saturated.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Because I was in.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
All sorts of trouble. Monday comes around, I get a
two hour massage. I was like, I can't train for this,
but I can be Limba. That was my whole tactic.
My whole tactic was to be limber. So I got
a two hour massage. But here's the weird thing that
that was the first thing I remember just sort of
like quietly going for no reason. I had a voice
in my head going, I don't know why, but I
(24:36):
will do this, like I've decided to do it and
I'm going to do it. And it was my first
real relationship with physical pain. And I had a friend
at the time who was like an ex Navy instructor,
and he was like, listen, man, when you're running, you're
going to be in pain. So when the pain comes,
just say to yourself, this is the pain I was expecting,
and I'm just going to be in pain, and then
(24:56):
stay there and.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Keep having zen like kind of a bit of a
like if.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
You're scared of the pain, you'll freak out. So just
know now you're going to be in pain. So when
it arrives, welcome it to go. I was expecting you.
I've heard you say with me. I heard you were
coming say with me, And it's getting this, you know
it was. I did it and I don't want to
break it. Did in five hours twenty five, smash it
by five minutes. But it was my first experience of going.
It's incredible you can do this, you can commish through
(25:22):
the finest part of your mentality. And like physical stuffering,
I suppose it's an easy way to test yourself, you know,
whether you going on a super hard bike ride or
like then I'm a couple years later, I rode a
marathon on a rolling machine and that's a lot, Like
forty two thousand meters on a rowing machine is a
long way, but you find out who you are, you know.
That's why I like those tests because in our life,
(25:44):
like we live sort of silly, frivolous lives. I like
the serious and stuff that you can kind of bury
yourself in a hole, and I enjoy seeing what happens
when you're in that level of pain. But I also
like it does have a lot of crossover into what
we do professionally too, like all the fun silly adventures
at Annie and I've gone and even just taking risks.
(26:04):
That's the voice, the voice that tells you just careful, stop,
you shouldn't do this whatever. That's the voice you experience
when you're running a marathon or doing a super hard
thing physically, that that's your battle against. That voice is
like do I believe that voice and quit and do
the easy thing, or do I have faith that on
the other side of that voice there's something good?
Speaker 1 (26:22):
But on the other side of that there are gifts
that you're about yourself and actually going through that it
resets you a bit, doesn't.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
It does it changes you mentally? And I don't know
who said it, but I think it is a saying
where it's like on everything you want is on the
other side of suffering.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Yeah, and so true.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
And the thing that I want is that mental knowledge
that I that I went there, that I did because
it hurt, like I keep going because I'm import you.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Kind of walk through your own fear and your own resistance.
You were the master of your own emotions.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
You need to know that you had that voice telling
you to stop and that you didn't like And a
lot of people find in a lot of different ways.
And for me, I enjoy doing it through, you know,
completely destroying myself on.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Because they're extreme in physical pursuit, even doing a marathit
is extreme, But then doing a marathon all a rowing
machine is insane.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
And that I trained for that, I did trainform. By
that stage, I sort of got a bit addicted to
seeing how far I could push myself. But the motivation,
like the thrill of it, is the pain, which is
a weird thing to say.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Not everyone's resistance, isn't it called it pain? We Well,
it's the resistance.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
It's knowing that you can mate it, I think, And
it's that thing.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
When you could stop, you could. I don't need just
I'm not an athlete.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
I mean, nothing could be more pointless. You're not even rowing.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Anywhere, even in the opposite of rowing, rid even bike.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Riding, which is pretty pointless because no one asked you
to ride to the top of that mountain. That's pointless,
pointless on a plane you didn't need to do it.
But it's a battle against yourself. Yeah, of all the things, Yeah,
a rowing machine is the most pointless. Literally, finish where
you start and three hours later you finished where you started.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
But it exhaust it's the challenge.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
So here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
What's in the representation.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
This is a picture of my grandpa, right, he was
a long distance middle distance runner. That's him in front.
It's two guys here. It's a black and white picture.
This has taken the charits of fire.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
It is.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
It is exactly like Charity of Fire.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
They ripped though, ripped okay, and they just they didn't
have electroly like gym.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
He's made of rope right. So this is my my
grandpa Don Colins pass away a couple of years ago,
but he's he was an amazing guy farmer, like you know,
became just a great bloke, had a great time. Taught
me very early on. He's like, mate, you just make
sure you have more fun making your money than spending it.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Wow. What great advice, which.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Always stuck with me because he's like, he was a
farmer and he did really well and it ended up
owning farms that turn into suburbs. So you know, so
by I guess some people's assessment, they go, oh, he's
done very well from himself as a businessman. But it
wasn't what he liked. He lived a very humble life.
He liked doing stuff with his mates.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
He had a great was successful by accident. It wasn't designed.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
The money I think to him was just like an
interesting byproduct of the adventure that he was on. And
so this is him. He ran, he ran, He was
like Australian five mile champion, oh wow, And and he
missed out on the Olympics. He was sort of peaked,
you know, in between the years of the Olympics, but
he carried he back then. He carried the torch for
the fifty six Melbourne Games and that was like a
(29:15):
thing that they gave to club champions whatever. But this
is him running every Saturday morning. He just got f
and they was just a beautiful photo. I just you know,
I know it's some people can't see it, but it's
it's like physical perfection. And he's in he's in the
lead as well. Yes, that's why I pointed out that
he's one of the leader because it would be an
interesting photo. Yeah, this is my grandpa. He consistently beaten,
but he never gave up. But what I love about
(29:37):
that photo is I didn't know that face when I
was younger, but I know that face now, and that's
like he's in a lot of pain, but he's also
euphoric in that stage because they would only the would
like run one lap around the oval. They'd run out
for like five miles into the bush. All the families
would like sit there and eat tea, coffee and stuff,
and then they'd come back for their final lap where
(29:58):
they would just hammer it out, and according to my mum,
he'd like he would always just vomit after that. Like
the finish line.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Was so extremely myself.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Six or seven guys who were all amateurs, like they
were like you know, bankers, like you know, tractor salesmen.
My grandpa's a farmer. Six or seven guys just standing
around each other, just vomiting steak and eggs, which they fort.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Like you said, that painful euphoria. But I get it.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
I get and so I keep that in my office too,
because I do. It's funny, like I didn't grow up
thinking that I had that other year or that that
sort of the ability to go to a painful place
if you need to. But I do look at that,
and I go, he's you know, genetically, he's in me.
And I use that as a bit of as a
bit of knowledge to go. You never know what you
can push yourself into doing. And for us professionally, that
translates into silly things like you know. But but to me,
(30:42):
there's there's.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Correlation essence, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
That's the thing.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
To me, there's.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Correlations between going. A lot of the time we've looked at,
you know, something whether it's me and Andy professionally or
just me professionally going well, there's tons of reasons, tons
of safe reasons to not do that, And that, to
me is the same thing as like being in a
lot of pain on a bike. There's tons of reasons
to stop. But what you know, that feeling of like,
but what if we didn't? What if we didn't What
(31:08):
if we just kept going even though you could make
a great argument to not do it, what if we
did the other thing? What if we did the hard thing?
What would happen then? And so I like that.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
I like that. That's how would you pass all of
this on, this knowledge that you've learned, How do you
pass it on to your kids?
Speaker 2 (31:20):
I was told I would get a CD of this
recording and I could.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Just off my bike to do.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
It's a good question. I think I would. I didn't
have it. I didn't sort of have it instilled in me.
It's not that my grandpa ever went come and mate,
we're gonna take you for a run. But I would
like to instill my kids the fun of just battling yourself,
the personal achievement, the fun that you can have in
just just trying to be a bit better than yesterday,
because it is only against yourself any.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
We all are everywhere, everything we do, everything we do
is against it. We project all this into other people,
but they're really just mirrors. It's what you're doing to yourself.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
So I think one of the things I'd be keen
to instilling my is if they can find a quiet
satisfaction of knowing that they pushed themselves in some capacity
when they wanted, They know in their heart they wanted
to stop. That'd be a great thing. I'm constantly trying
to come up with different ways that you can do that.
I don't have a solid answer for it, but that's
the hope.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
Big thank you to today's legend, the awesome Hamish Blake.
I've got to be honest. At the end, Hamish and
I still talk about another twenty minutes, just about what
we talked about, and how I've had beers with Hamish
and we've had chats and I thought I know him
pretty well in his life story. Nope, I had no idea.
It was like a different person, a deeper person. So
now when we go out together, we're going to be
(32:38):
talking about Greek philosophy and so much more. I loved
this chat. He showed his warm, sentimental side, reflecting on
people he loved and what they meant to him. Maybe
that's not surprising. He's always been a very humble comedian
and honest, never up himself despite the huge success. So
make sure you don't miss any of our upcoming Legends.
(32:58):
Follow the show for free on iHeartRadio or whatever podcast
app you're listening on right now. If you want to
get in touch with me, check out Stuff Off Legends
podcast dot com and say hello, I'm Christian O'Connell. And
until the next time, this is the stuff of Legends.
My favorite conversations with people are when they share something
about themselves. I don't know, And I noticed that the
objects of our lives have so much meaning when you
stop and think about them, which got me wondering, what
if some of the world's funniest and most interesting people
chose three of their most treasured objects and shared the
stories behind them, stories you've never heard before.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It's difficult, right, It is difficult to distell it down
into three objects without just trying to like trick the
game to be like well, birth certificate. That's no fun
for anyone, And obviously for people that know me, well,
you know you've got your obvious ones, so like you know,
pound of cocaine, god, bullion, gun, Yeah, you know that's me, money, fame, power,
(00:43):
Pablo Blake, just condoms and handguns.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
And that's a toitle of your autobography is great.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
But then but then you sort of go, well, that's
not funny, that like, what what you can't do? Silly ones?
But I was walking around my house going, I, I mean,
I've got let stuff in my house.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
But you make it sound like you're a clown. Are
listening to clown? Is it a clown car?
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Or a tiny doors. I've got my cream pie machine.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Obviously that is very special size shoes.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
That's how I make my living's just making those cream bars.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I'm Christian O'Connell and this is the stuff of legends
today with Hamish Blake.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Hello, I'm Hamish Blake, esteemed guest of Christian Occupy.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Now when you chat to Hamish Blake, you've got to
have your a game. Seriously. It's like if you're a
black belt and you think you're pretty good, and then
suddenly you meet Hamish Blake. He humbled, you're a white belt.
He's just so funny, so quick. He's just on a
different he's just in a different atmosphere, and I've got
to be I was going into this. I was kind
of nervous because I thought, I, if it's all going
(01:49):
to be so quick and so funny, we might miss
on what this is really about. But he didn't turn
up like that. He didn't have his black belt ninth
down with him. He's a comedian, actor, author, one half
of Australia's most successful comedy duo, Hamish and Andy.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Often I get introduced as radio and television comedian, but
there are qualifiers to that like, I'm not exactly a
stand up median, but you wouldn't. I guess people put
that the word in because it's like, well, he doesn't
doesn't do serious stuff.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
So a silly.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Man, a modern day clown. Let's just kick him in
the ass and laughing him as he falls over. And
he's given us nothing else.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
No matter how well you think you know Hamish, his
three most treasured items are about to reveal so much more.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
So why don't we start? Why do we start with this?
This is a book, right? I know that's that is
that could be a little bit of it. That's an
easy option. But in the comedy field, right, trying to
trace back that feeling of what was the early rumblings
of like laughter is fun. I love I love that
other people are laughing. You know that you can make
someone else laugh. I love the idea of a joke
(03:00):
and being in on a joke and creating a joke.
This is a book. This is the book called The
Far Side Gallery by Gary Larson.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Yeah amazing.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
I was obsessed with fast side cartoons as a kid,
obsessed for bill that know them, You're they're like a
single cell cartoon. Often it's an absurd world presented very surreal,
very seriously.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
So if it was stand up, it's said years old, it.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Is it is, which is very you totally, but it's
you know, it's here. He goes like a parent, couple
of parents who look like there are the fifties in
America coming home. There's a witch there, like in a
witch's hat. She's looking a bit sheepish and grumpy. And
the dad's going, let me get this straight. You we
hired you to babysit the kids, and he's dead. You
cooked and ate them both in capitals, like both is
the worst part, Like one that he could have withstood,
(03:41):
but both is the worst. And she's like rolling her
eyes and being a bit scolden. But I was like,
and it's just a world of talking animals.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
And yeah, cows and dogs. I remember one Gary Laston
cartoon that sticks in my mind is that there's a
great one where there's a dog that's rolled up on
its master's bed at bedtime. They're all to sleep in there.
The cat's outside really annoyed looking into the and he's
trying to whisper through the wind.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Put the dog out.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yeah, I love Gary loss stuff. That's amazing though, So
how old are you when you got into Gary Larsen the.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Far so end of primary school, start of high school?
I remember because I remember, and I would, I would
print it, I would buy the calendar, the war calendar,
and I just cut out the cartoons and I just
put them all over my room, like every door in
my bedroom was fast side cartoons. Like I haven't I
haven't opened these books up for maybe ten years, but
I almost feel I used to be able to do this,
like totally easily. Almost feel if I handed you this
(04:31):
book and you open to any page and you told
me what was in the cartoon, I could tell you
the caption.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Do that.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Now I must, let's try. I mean, I reckon, I've
got a one in two shots be able to do
this flawlessly and you know it before you do it,
Like I think, what I'm looking back on it because
I really do see it as formative in my understanding
of comedy, the effort and the subtlety that Gary Larsen
would put into the comics. And it was the first
time I was like, this is a guy in America
that's written this weird thing, and I'm opening a book
(04:56):
here in Australia, and I get it and I love it,
and I sort of felt like I was part of
a little club. I think that's the bit that was
that pulled me in the most.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Oh these are brilliant. I've forgot how great these were. Okay,
all right, you got two middle aged looking people indoors.
There's two cows in their front room. One of the
cows is on their table.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Oh are they are? They are? They just sort of
shoot shoot get out?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
No, both the cows have got beers.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Hang on, are they are the cows are? One of
the cows is dancing. Yes, the cows are dancing on
one leg is kicking a leg. Yes, yes, it's something.
Oh damn it, I know I know this cell.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Go and give me the captain the husband as central
wife satisfied. I warned you not to invite the cows
in for a few drinks. How funny is that?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
They're great? Okay, one more, I haven't done this for
I mean, this used to be my party trick when
I was eighteen, so it isn't about twenty two years ago.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
All Right, two elephants are stood up. One elephant is
pointed to the backside of the other elephant with.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
His Oh, he says, I can't remember the name. He
was like, oh, I think you've I think you sat
in something. It's like a squashed man, a squash man
on his.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Squash man on his ass a safari. Ye, Well, Frank,
guess what you sat in? Frank?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Larry and Frank. They were always Larry's and Franks. And
then I discovered a bit later on that it was
like a thing that some people didn't like, the Fastide
because I thought it was a bit too weird, it
was a bit too intellectual. And I think I liked
that too that I was like, all right, I.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Enjoyed there's something left field and smart about them.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I enjoyed getting them. I enjoyed the thing. And then
when I was sort of sixteen or seventeen, Gary Larson
sort of retired and he released like an anthology but
where he talked about the cartoons, and he talked about
some of the cartoons that were too bizarre, that were
too weird, and there was a few in there. There
was like one which is called When Dogs Dream, and
so it's a dog dreaming and there's a car upside
(06:50):
down and the dog in his little thought bubble and
the dog has got it. He's caught the car, and
he's like yelling, like because one of these like tropes
was that dogs loved chasing cars, like dog Heaven would
be like cars made out of ham and stuff and
the dogs and they can catch the car.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
That's like a great vision of heaven to me.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
So in this one where dogs dreamed, and he was like, look,
I drew a car upside down and I wanted to
make it realistic in the car and he was trying
to move the gearbox around under the car and it's
sort of like a lump and a lot of people
thought was the dog humping the car but he was,
So they got a lot of backlash from that cartoon,
just going you're sick, like why would a dog dream
about humping the But he was like, that's meant to
(07:26):
be like triumphantly on top of his kill. But I
remember reading it too, like and and I think just going,
all right, there are people in the world who make
comedy and they put a lot of thought into it,
and they get it right a lot of the time,
and they get it wrong, and they're trying to figure
out how to do it better, and and you know,
and here's this guy that I idolized, and he's talking
(07:47):
about all the failures he's had where we just didn't
get it and he's laughing about them. And I really
and that I had a real impact on me that
I was like, yeah, it's not he's embarrassed or ashamed
because I was not a confident kid, Like I was
a you know, in all the normal insecurities. And then
somebody guess, so.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Were you not drama kid?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
I was a drama kid. I was a drama kid.
But you know, for me at that age, if I
was like, if I tried to do something funny and
it didn't work, I would be mortified.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah, because you're so acutely self conscious. Everything feels too fragile.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
And I think, and for some weird reason, reading those
books about someone going yeah, and I had all these
failures and isn't it funny because you.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Know, having that freedom, I was like, Oh, all.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Right, that's I didn't know that was an option, that
you could laugh about something not working and that it
actually becomes an even better story because it hasn't worked.
Fast Forwarding through my career now, I realized, like so
much of the best stuff always, especially with me and Andy,
you know, on travel shows and things like that, all
the best adventures we've had, and when things don't go
to plan, and so I grew up looking for things
(08:45):
that would maybe go off the rails like that seemed
like a fun idea to do. And then maybe.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Building in those traps and the door not openings to
open the door handle coming off.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Building in the chance for things to go wrong became
our signature almost So I don't know that was my
attempt to trace back that first introduction to that idea.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
That's brilliant though, that's great. Now I could totally understand
that his world that he built was a very playful,
surreal world, Wasn't it.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
So silly, so silly, and just a really weird world
presented very seriously.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
This is the stuff of legends today with Hamish Blake.
So far we've had Gary Larson's The Far Side Gallery book.
So what's his next treasured item?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Second item? This is the only real Centemona lineum I
could find in.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
It's in a box. And little things that are in
a box are they have important? They need to be
protected from the world.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Well, this is this is I came home one night,
I guess. It was like August September one night, two
thousand and thirteen, and I pulled out. I don't know
what this was. I'd been working all day. My wife
gave me this and it's a little onesie that says
world's best dad and a positive pregnancy test.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
That's how you found, That's how I found I was
gonna be a dad. And so I mean, I'm I'm
going to have to take a moment now.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
That's incredibly moving to do that, and I mean it
doesn't make logical sense because it's a world's best dad.
He's written in sharpie honor size zero zero zero zero onesie,
So it's actually should be world's best kid. Like that's
a very little dad. If this is the dad, I
don't know where the baby is. But I got what
she was trying to do. It didn't seem like the
(10:26):
right moment to go.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Do you think it was also done like a to
do list for you, like please get it right? Okay,
there'd be a little person in this. Just you know
what you're meant to do. It's just try and be
the world. Just shoot for it.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
He's got no one else but you. He's dead and you've.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Got you've got the stick.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
I guess I put that in there to like really
hammer at home.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
But cause you're not, this is shrunk so it won't
fit me.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
What do you mean? This is? This is this is
a terrible outfit and I'm not a dad. You're the
worst at present.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
We've got puppy. Where's the puppy that goes in this?
So it'll be the dad bubby. So what did it
mean to you when you found out you were going
to become a dad?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Well, I mean that you've been trying for a while,
or because it's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
I suppose when I was collecting my three items, I thought, well,
you can't I can't include a book about cartoons and
then forget to mention my kids. But I think I think, no,
we hadn't even really been trying for a while. But
it happened quite quickly. I mean literally, it was like
we had one month where I was like, right by
(11:18):
the way we're on and I was like okay. And
I think, as a guy, when you get told it's happening,
there's a bit of you that goes all right, Well,
even if we're a go today. I got nine months
to get my head a rest, so you got a
little bit of a buffer.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
We tried for a month. It didn't happen, and you know,
of course everyone's journey is very, very different. But Zoe
is quite impatient and she was like, you need to
go and get your sperm tested. I was like, he's
been one attempt and when you realize that the windows like,
you know, hours, like how tricky it all is. I
was like, I don't think I need to do it.
She's like, well, I'm not going to waste months and
(11:50):
months you got to get your sperm tests. I was like,
all right. And we lived opposite a hospital, live in Fitzroy,
and yeah, but.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
I don't think going to any hospital will go I'm
just here to where do I go from now?
Speaker 2 (12:00):
I've got something for you.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Just yo at bot well fly enough.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
It kind of almost haven't Like that week I went
into the place and I said I need to, you know,
get my spoons and they said.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Right, well, where do you live?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
I said, I actually live, you know, one hundred meters
away and I said we can do it at home
if you want, and then bring it in. They said,
but you've got to keep it warm. And so I
was like, right, I said, I think I will do
it at home. So take my little container home. Go home.
So I was like, how did it go?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Do you want me ask you why you did it
in the house?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Well, I walked through the front door, and I goes,
how did it go?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Said?
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Well, no, they said, they said I could come and
play a home.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Game, and we all know home advantage, Reddy cows and.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
The and she was working in her computer and the
weakness of going, well, I'll be back down, and I
was like, I should have stayed at the hospital. I
thought going home would make it feel less weird, like, well,
I'm going upstairs for a wank and I shan't be
down for four minutes. And then you do it and
they go and then they're like, you keep it walls.
(13:00):
I said to them, I was like, what do you
should I like in a little foil bag or something like.
They said, no, Look, honestly, people can live ten minutes
away and do it. And we say, either pop it
in you if you're driving between you in your lap,
right between your legs, skip water.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Do you get pulled over by the plane.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Even worse, they put it on your arm pit. So
I put it under my arm pit. And there's one
road I have to cross. It's a busy road in
Melbourne Alexander Parade, right, it's like three lanes.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Yeah, it's very busy road going.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Across to the Airpworth. So or is that whatever it
is over there? So I'm saying there and I've never
crossed a road more course'll see in my life because
I'm like, if I get hit by a car and
the paramedics like pick cutting his clothes off, the is this.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
What a great showfish story that would have been broken?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Always for good luck guys, you never know what you've
made it. So anyway, it turned out to be irrelevant.
Didn't need the test we're having quite quick quickly after that.
So you know, obviously having kids changed my life.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
How did it change it? Off? What did what did
it mean to you when you first? So your first
is a is a beautiful boy's sonny boy?
Speaker 2 (13:59):
So I think it just I mean I had a
very profound moment of going which I loved. If just
that just that like it was like a real click,
like a real switch went off in me, which where
you suddenly it's almost like a weight was lifted where
I was like, you know, oh, it's not all about
me anymore, And that was a great feeling. I mean,
(14:21):
I hadn't actively been going around going, remember it's all
about me. But I guess when you're in your twenties
and you know you don't have anym memities, it is
all about you. Yeah, And that's sort of how we were.
You know, you naturally live, and so to just suddenly
have this, I welcomed it, like it was a really
joyous feeling to get to happily kind of commit my
(14:42):
life to this little guy. And you know, then later
on his sister and I loved that feeling and I
had in a very this sounds a bit morbid when
I've talked about it before. Where I was I just
suddenly realized I was going to die, and I was
so fine with that. And I guess it was maybe
it was a real maybe just that feeling of going
I don't know, maybe it is literally primarly like where
you've on your code, that was the point of view
being here. You now have seen it, but it successfully happened.
(15:05):
You can die now, we have no more biological use
for you. And so but I felt like in an
very very really euphoric way.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
It's a humbling yeah, just a humble.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
I was like, oh my god, now you're maybe it's
that thing where like, for for that millisecond you're holding
Planet Earth's newest member. Yeah, like probably then half a
second later he gets pipped by someone being born in
Oslo or whatever.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
But for you seeing it and experiencing it through your eyes, at.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
That instant he held the title like, you know, newest
member of the club.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
For however, meet in the world's best dad.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Yeah, and I've got the bloody T shirt right to
prove it. So that for that tiny little second, I
think it was that that moment where I just was like, ah,
this is incredible. There's a new generation, Like now I'm
switching into helping mode and I and that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Man.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
It's something I've that changed my life.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
It's the best one.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Yeah. It's because some performers they struggle in the first
couple of years because it is about somebody else and
so much of their life and professional life it's all about.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Them of course, and especially our game. You you know,
unless you're aware of it, that's an easy trap to
fall into. It yeah, I think, I think and more
old will you're encouraged to based on a poster, have
everyone know who you are. You are very special.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
To pictures of you.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
And unless behind the scenes you're you're going to your
closest people. We we all know that's not true, and
that's a bit of a joke. And that's the game.
Unless you're conscious of aware of that game, I suppose
you can get sack into it and there's nothing to
make you more aware that you are nothing except a
valued member of the family who can be kicked and
punched for great amusements.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
And did you find that suddenly what you could derive
joy from expand as well, because I don't When I
was how much time I would spend just watching a
little person asleep and just you know, being so happy
like there's nowhere else into it.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Yeah, looking at leaves, yes, it's the best.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I mean either world in a totally different way through
new eyes.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Just pulling, you know, because I think naturally spend our
day going, ah, well, if if X happens, then I'll
be happy and I must get this and that I'll
be happy, and that kind of like fallacy.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
You're never really fully in the moment.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Yeah, that fallacy of chasing future things, whether it's like
achievements or objects or you know, accolades or whatever it is.
And then with your kids, it just pulls you back.
Your horizon just gets pulled right back to right now,
and you do have to work with it, like, you know,
I'm not perfect at at all, but to consciously be like, right, well,
be here, be on the trampoline. This game is the
most important thing now. Even if you had planned some fun,
(17:33):
you know, you're projecting your dad hopes.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Onto the day.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
If you're like, no, no, no, but I thought we could
build a kite and then I've planned we could take
it up to parking. If it's just not working and
being on the trampoline today and you know, playing no
arm slug one of my classics, is then that's just
what you're doing for that day. And so the fun
of of like love, letting go of plans too, and
just pulling it back to the moment. That's the constant joy.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
And what was your childhood Like are you closer to mom
and dad or yeah, pretty I say.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Fairly stocks ed normal in the sense that no one
has a normal childhood, But you know, normally like older
brother younger sister, grew up in the suburbs of Melbourne,
did all the regular things, did all the stuff that
I thought at the time, I was like, this is
so boring, Why do we have to do that? And
now if I myself making the kids the same stuff
like I remember, just I couldn't think of my parents
(18:20):
being lamer and more boring where sometimes they go, come on,
we go to the Dandy Knongs for a walk and
as a twelve year old or fourteen, and you're just
like this, you guys are the worst. Like when I'm
a parent, it's going to be movies, skate parks, lollies,
you guys, stink walking in Nature's gonna be the worst
thing I could think of to do today. And then
blowing the whole like without even consciously realizing it. Yeah,
(18:43):
we found ourselves a few weeks ago in the Dandy
Knocks for a walk. So you are you're doomed to
repeat it all right, last it And so another part
of my life this I'll give you a little preamble here,
A little part of my life I discovered later on,
(19:05):
maybe like when I was thirty, was not so much
exercise but like the idea of physically challenging yourself. I
wasn't a sporty kid growing up. Like we had the
option to do circus tricks or play sport at school,
and I just chose circus tricks because.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
You got the Russian state circus. What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (19:24):
I really wasn't going well. We weren't a sporty school.
And so a lot of big schools and like private
schools in Melbourne and you know, all over will do
Saturday morning sport, and that was not an option for us.
Wednesday afternoon was the sports allocated time, so you could
in year eleven, they wouldn't let you go home if
you didn't make a team, so you had to do
like we caught a dud sport. You had to do
(19:45):
like archery or lawn bowls. And for half a year
we did circus tricks because it was just like give
them tennis balls, teach about a juggle. And then in
year twelve, again if you weren't a sporty kid, you
just leave on a Wednesday afternoon, you just go home.
And I couldn't believe anyone pisport guys kidding me. You're
not back to four o'clock. I'm out of here at one.
(20:06):
You're covered in mud, like you stink of Murray's budge.
Because it was the nineties and everyone had like sparked hair,
so everyone was like sweating and had coconut like rivers
of coconut running down their face because it eats hair product.
And I was like, this is the worst. I can't
believe you guys have all fallen for this. So I
wasn't a pretty kid at all, just never appealed to me.
And I because I was a bit of a chubby
kid to I'd always just sort of been conditioned to
be like, that's just not you, that's not here anyway.
(20:28):
Little later on in life and through some stuff we
tried to do on the radio, you know, like standard
radio stuff, like I was one hundred and five kilos
and I had to like lose some weight to just
just to not be one hundred and five.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
That was your goal, I was like, it was.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
It was for a segment we were doing where I
realized on trampolines have one hundred kilogram weight limits. So
I was trying to get what we call tramp legal
because I was tramped illegal. I was trying to get
tramped legal and I started exercising a little bit and
through a few mates when they're like, look, we do
this thing like a bit of a boxing class, blah
blah blah. And I was around about thirty at the time, anyway,
got into it. That began a whole bunch of different
(21:03):
sort of avenues and stuff of actually doing like physical exercise,
and it became it's become quite a big part of
my life, not so much that I'm trying to be
an elite athlete anywhere, but discovering essentially, I guess the
joy of like physical suffering. I have a weird thing
in me where I I do like that side of things.
I like being in physical pain and so like rying machines.
(21:26):
I've done a marathon on a rying machine. I've done
a few tough things on a rowing machine, and like
long like bark rides. And I ran a marathon when
I were on radio because I bragged that I could
beat Katie Home. Katie Holmes was in WHO magazine or something.
She'd run a five and a half hour marathon and
I didn't know anything about running. I'd never run the
longest sid everyone in my life was four kilometers at
cross country at high school, which I hated, and.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
You were juggling at the time. I forget.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
So it's a unicycle. I had giant shoes on and
my grease paint was in my eyes. But I was like,
I didn't know any I was like, I know, a
marathon's about forty kilometers, but five and a half hours.
That sounds like anyone could do that in five and
a half hours. So it's a bit of what you said,
bit a smack talk happening on the radio, and Andy's like, mate,
it's still difficult.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
I think.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
I just I meant, isn't the world record like two
hours and a bit like five and a half? I mean,
you could stop for lunch. So that was on a Friday,
and then somehow because it's FM radio, it was like,
right next Monday, he's running a marathon.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
He's going to beat Katie Homes no training.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
No training, right, So the next Monday, I we did
it around albert Park Lake in Melbourne. We sort of
like measured it out. It's gonna be like nine and
a half laps of albert Park Lakes running track and
I'd start at twelve o'clock. Our show was on Fort
to six. Yeah, I start at midday, start running and
if it worked, I should be beating Katie Holmes a
round about five twenty nine in the afternoon. And so
(22:48):
Annie would do the show and like we'd drive next
to me and chat to me and and it was
like I had no business running that marathon. And especially
because Darby Day, which is a big day in the
Melbourne Race.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Yeah, huge.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Derby Day was the Saturday, yep. And I that morning,
when with my housemates did a practice jog of Albert Park,
went yeah, okay, it's pretty far, walked it ran it
went okay, don't burn yourself out before Monday. You're too
close to train. You should be tapering. I kind of
had an idea on my head how far it was.
We all went off to Derby there that day. I
got very I mean I was twenty five or something. Yeah,
(23:21):
quite I went.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
It was probably the biggest, one of the biggest drinking
days in the enjoyed the hospitality, yes, a lot of
Like there's a lot of footy players there who'd heard
about the marathon on Monday, who thought like the more
I drank, the funnier they was, because they're like, he's
starting a marathon on Monday.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Got back to our house, and we traditionally had quite
a large party house, and so a lot of people
from the races were back at our house. At about
two o'clock on Sunday morning, I freaked out and went,
oh my god, I've got to run marathon in twenty
four hours. So staggered up to the seven to eleven
and I bought like thirty sports drinks, just started pounding
them and I probably drank about four or five leters
of sports drinks. Went to bed, woke up, thought I'd
(23:58):
wet the bed, and real though I'd sweated all the
salts of the course drinker. And I was talking to
a man of mine who was a doctor. I was like,
why am I sweating so much? I was like, because
you've drunk all these electrolytes, but you haven't lost any
electro if you haven't done any exercise. So he's like,
see my pillow was saturated.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Because I was in.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
All sorts of trouble. Monday comes around, I get a
two hour massage. I was like, I can't train for this,
but I can be Limba. That was my whole tactic.
My whole tactic was to be limber. So I got
a two hour massage. But here's the weird thing that
that was the first thing I remember just sort of
like quietly going for no reason. I had a voice
in my head going, I don't know why, but I
(24:36):
will do this, like I've decided to do it and
I'm going to do it. And it was my first
real relationship with physical pain. And I had a friend
at the time who was like an ex Navy instructor,
and he was like, listen, man, when you're running, you're
going to be in pain. So when the pain comes,
just say to yourself, this is the pain I was expecting,
and I'm just going to be in pain, and then
(24:56):
stay there and.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Keep having zen like kind of a bit of a
like if.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
You're scared of the pain, you'll freak out. So just
know now you're going to be in pain. So when
it arrives, welcome it to go. I was expecting you.
I've heard you say with me. I heard you were
coming say with me, And it's getting this, you know
it was. I did it and I don't want to
break it. Did in five hours twenty five, smash it
by five minutes. But it was my first experience of going.
It's incredible you can do this, you can commish through
(25:22):
the finest part of your mentality. And like physical stuffering,
I suppose it's an easy way to test yourself, you know,
whether you going on a super hard bike ride or
like then I'm a couple years later, I rode a
marathon on a rolling machine and that's a lot, Like
forty two thousand meters on a rowing machine is a
long way, but you find out who you are, you know.
That's why I like those tests because in our life,
(25:44):
like we live sort of silly, frivolous lives. I like
the serious and stuff that you can kind of bury
yourself in a hole, and I enjoy seeing what happens
when you're in that level of pain. But I also
like it does have a lot of crossover into what
we do professionally too, like all the fun silly adventures
at Annie and I've gone and even just taking risks.
(26:04):
That's the voice, the voice that tells you just careful, stop,
you shouldn't do this whatever. That's the voice you experience
when you're running a marathon or doing a super hard
thing physically, that that's your battle against. That voice is
like do I believe that voice and quit and do
the easy thing, or do I have faith that on
the other side of that voice there's something good?
Speaker 1 (26:22):
But on the other side of that there are gifts
that you're about yourself and actually going through that it
resets you a bit, doesn't.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
It does it changes you mentally? And I don't know
who said it, but I think it is a saying
where it's like on everything you want is on the
other side of suffering.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Yeah, and so true.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
And the thing that I want is that mental knowledge
that I that I went there, that I did because
it hurt, like I keep going because I'm import you.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Kind of walk through your own fear and your own resistance.
You were the master of your own emotions.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
You need to know that you had that voice telling
you to stop and that you didn't like And a
lot of people find in a lot of different ways.
And for me, I enjoy doing it through, you know,
completely destroying myself on.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Because they're extreme in physical pursuit, even doing a marathit
is extreme, But then doing a marathon all a rowing
machine is insane.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
And that I trained for that, I did trainform. By
that stage, I sort of got a bit addicted to
seeing how far I could push myself. But the motivation,
like the thrill of it, is the pain, which is
a weird thing to say.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Not everyone's resistance, isn't it called it pain? We Well,
it's the resistance.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
It's knowing that you can mate it, I think, And
it's that thing.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
When you could stop, you could. I don't need just
I'm not an athlete.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
I mean, nothing could be more pointless. You're not even rowing.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Anywhere, even in the opposite of rowing, rid even bike.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Riding, which is pretty pointless because no one asked you
to ride to the top of that mountain. That's pointless,
pointless on a plane you didn't need to do it.
But it's a battle against yourself. Yeah, of all the things, Yeah,
a rowing machine is the most pointless. Literally, finish where
you start and three hours later you finished where you started.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
But it exhaust it's the challenge.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
So here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
What's in the representation.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
This is a picture of my grandpa, right, he was
a long distance middle distance runner. That's him in front.
It's two guys here. It's a black and white picture.
This has taken the charits of fire.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
It is.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
It is exactly like Charity of Fire.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
They ripped though, ripped okay, and they just they didn't
have electroly like gym.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
He's made of rope right. So this is my my
grandpa Don Colins pass away a couple of years ago,
but he's he was an amazing guy farmer, like you know,
became just a great bloke, had a great time. Taught
me very early on. He's like, mate, you just make
sure you have more fun making your money than spending it.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Wow. What great advice, which.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Always stuck with me because he's like, he was a
farmer and he did really well and it ended up
owning farms that turn into suburbs. So you know, so
by I guess some people's assessment, they go, oh, he's
done very well from himself as a businessman. But it
wasn't what he liked. He lived a very humble life.
He liked doing stuff with his mates.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
He had a great was successful by accident. It wasn't designed.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
The money I think to him was just like an
interesting byproduct of the adventure that he was on. And
so this is him. He ran, he ran, He was
like Australian five mile champion, oh wow, And and he
missed out on the Olympics. He was sort of peaked,
you know, in between the years of the Olympics, but
he carried he back then. He carried the torch for
the fifty six Melbourne Games and that was like a
(29:15):
thing that they gave to club champions whatever. But this
is him running every Saturday morning. He just got f
and they was just a beautiful photo. I just you know,
I know it's some people can't see it, but it's
it's like physical perfection. And he's in he's in the
lead as well. Yes, that's why I pointed out that
he's one of the leader because it would be an
interesting photo. Yeah, this is my grandpa. He consistently beaten,
but he never gave up. But what I love about
(29:37):
that photo is I didn't know that face when I
was younger, but I know that face now, and that's
like he's in a lot of pain, but he's also
euphoric in that stage because they would only the would
like run one lap around the oval. They'd run out
for like five miles into the bush. All the families
would like sit there and eat tea, coffee and stuff,
and then they'd come back for their final lap where
(29:58):
they would just hammer it out, and according to my mum,
he'd like he would always just vomit after that. Like
the finish line.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Was so extremely myself.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Six or seven guys who were all amateurs, like they
were like you know, bankers, like you know, tractor salesmen.
My grandpa's a farmer. Six or seven guys just standing
around each other, just vomiting steak and eggs, which they fort.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Like you said, that painful euphoria. But I get it.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
I get and so I keep that in my office too,
because I do. It's funny, like I didn't grow up
thinking that I had that other year or that that
sort of the ability to go to a painful place
if you need to. But I do look at that,
and I go, he's you know, genetically, he's in me.
And I use that as a bit of as a
bit of knowledge to go. You never know what you
can push yourself into doing. And for us professionally, that
translates into silly things like you know. But but to me,
(30:42):
there's there's.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Correlation essence, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
That's the thing.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
To me, there's.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Correlations between going. A lot of the time we've looked at,
you know, something whether it's me and Andy professionally or
just me professionally going well, there's tons of reasons, tons
of safe reasons to not do that, And that, to
me is the same thing as like being in a
lot of pain on a bike. There's tons of reasons
to stop. But what you know, that feeling of like,
but what if we didn't? What if we didn't What
(31:08):
if we just kept going even though you could make
a great argument to not do it, what if we
did the other thing? What if we did the hard thing?
What would happen then? And so I like that.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
I like that. That's how would you pass all of
this on, this knowledge that you've learned, How do you
pass it on to your kids?
Speaker 2 (31:20):
I was told I would get a CD of this
recording and I could.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Just off my bike to do.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
It's a good question. I think I would. I didn't
have it. I didn't sort of have it instilled in me.
It's not that my grandpa ever went come and mate,
we're gonna take you for a run. But I would
like to instill my kids the fun of just battling yourself,
the personal achievement, the fun that you can have in
just just trying to be a bit better than yesterday,
because it is only against yourself any.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
We all are everywhere, everything we do, everything we do
is against it. We project all this into other people,
but they're really just mirrors. It's what you're doing to yourself.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
So I think one of the things I'd be keen
to instilling my is if they can find a quiet
satisfaction of knowing that they pushed themselves in some capacity
when they wanted, They know in their heart they wanted
to stop. That'd be a great thing. I'm constantly trying
to come up with different ways that you can do that.
I don't have a solid answer for it, but that's
the hope.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
Big thank you to today's legend, the awesome Hamish Blake.
I've got to be honest. At the end, Hamish and
I still talk about another twenty minutes, just about what
we talked about, and how I've had beers with Hamish
and we've had chats and I thought I know him
pretty well in his life story. Nope, I had no idea.
It was like a different person, a deeper person. So
now when we go out together, we're going to be
(32:38):
talking about Greek philosophy and so much more. I loved
this chat. He showed his warm, sentimental side, reflecting on
people he loved and what they meant to him. Maybe
that's not surprising. He's always been a very humble comedian
and honest, never up himself despite the huge success. So
make sure you don't miss any of our upcoming Legends.
(32:58):
Follow the show for free on iHeartRadio or whatever podcast
app you're listening on right now. If you want to
get in touch with me, check out Stuff Off Legends
podcast dot com and say hello, I'm Christian O'Connell. And
until the next time, this is the stuff of Legends.
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