September 1, 2024 • 26 mins
British actor, comedian and author David Walliams joins us live in studio to chat about his upcoming tour. The conversation takes a sharp turn when both David and Kyle beginning butting heads and challenging one another... Have a listen to hear how it all went down.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kyle Jackie Morning.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm David Williams.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
David Walliams. If you want to go and check this
dude out. Very funny, we know him, love him from
Little Britain. Britain's got talent, a million other things. If
you were unfortunate enough last night to be watching The Project,
which is a show I can't stand and we ban everyone,
all the hosts a band from this show.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
But David, he was on it last night.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
He was co hosting an international guest. He's not to
know the show's shit, but I did watch him on that.
My wife watches the show every night, just to my disgrace. David,
nice to see you. To you guys, Are you feel
more handsome than yeah, than I have ever noticed?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Yeah, sorry much, but thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
That's understandable. I get it. I get it.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
So you're doing shows an audience with David Williams.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
You've got a head to ticke a tech for.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
The for the you to go there, you got to
go down there, got her head.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
To the website to get the tickets.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Yeah, sort of bullshit? Are you doing on this show?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Is it a funny show for the whole family, or
is it an adult only.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Well, there's a show aimed at kids during the day
which is all about my books, and so that's the
sort of matinee. And then in the evening it's an
audience with which is much more about Little Britain. Come
fly with me, Frank's got talent.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
You're going to do two a day, three a.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Day sometimes, well, I'm going to do if you know
demand is there, which your husband doing eleven am at
three pm. So these are the two kids shows. And
then there was seven point thirty.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Cary Hooker always working. You never have any time.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
I was told he was controversial.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Who told you it?
Speaker 3 (01:40):
They lied?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Troversial.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
No, Well, the thing is I do have, like you know,
different parts of my career and to some extent, different audiences.
And obviously there are lots of people saying can we
bring our kids to the evening show?
Speaker 1 (01:51):
And it's fine. It's not like it's you know, as
rude as this show.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I mean, obviously there's some adult comedy themes and things
like that, and so the kids, you know, because obviously
that's been a big part of my career. It's just
great to do something specially for them, so I can
really concentrate on talking about the books, and they're entertaining
them because it is different.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
Told, you wouldn't know about this because Otto is not
at that age. So yeah, wait till Otto gets a
little bit older, David does the best books for kids.
Like he's being compared to because of how good.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Roll has no Jesus Christ. Who you know the author,
Roll Dahl, Roll Dah, I don't know. I was a
homeless child. We didn't have any of the uh you know,
no doubt class being Brittain Jackie only having sex with
British guys. You guys are the higher end of entertainment. Yeah,
(02:53):
when I'm eating out of the bin, Ronald at Dahl
is not someone I'm interested in.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
You know, he's sold fifty million books, sixty million, sixty Now.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Who's county? I am? How many books have you sold?
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Is that sexty millions?
Speaker 1 (03:09):
She's just said, no, you serious? Wow, that's very popular.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
But see, you won't know this yet when when Otto
is at that age where you have to read him
proper books.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
You know, what's the age difference for what with your wife?
She's thirty six okay and I'm fifty three. Okay, that's right,
that's about okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Do you have a partner?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yes? I do.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
Is there a big age bigger than that?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Is sheps older than you or younger? Is thirty years old?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
How long have you guys been together for?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
I've got a sort of mum fixation. Not love now, No,
I'm just I'm just kidding with you.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Oh you reckon, you gues. I do that age per
because of the TV, because I am on, I am.
I am also a TV star, but you're more a
face for radio. Yes I am. Yeah, I'm the idol.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Have you been married before?
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Yeah? Of course?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
How many times?
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Just once? Right? Okay, so this is the second marriage, okay,
the first the first marriage she ended up hating my guts.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I can't believe.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
No, I believe. I can't believe it. And Jackie, this
might surprise you. She's also been married multiple times.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
I have twice.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
You right now, what's going on?
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Now?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
I'm single?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Now she's opened for business.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Yeah, I am. I've been single for like when did
I split up with my husband? Twenty eighteen? I think?
And then I just wanted to stay single for ages.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Which was order and wait as well, Yeah I did.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Actually I was actually quite a bit heavier than what
I am.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Yeah, how what size are you now?
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Size?
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah? Look at ten eight?
Speaker 3 (04:59):
What a yeah?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
What size are you?
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Oh? Four x?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
I'd see you as a sort of a woman's size
about twenty four.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Yes, yes, exactly.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
We're not here the fat shame now you're mate. You
did a little Britain with He's a little roly poly
as well. We've had him on the show. He's a hoot.
He is still like he is.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
He has lost weight though, Oh has he way? Something
like that is a proper way. No, he's lost a
lot of weight. So he's really skinny now, skinnier than me.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Is he's funny?
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Is he really that skinny?
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Now?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
He's really skinny.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Yeah, he doesn't suit him. You know some people are just.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Sort of surprise when you see him.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Oh my god, he's just popped up on the screen.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Now but it's still him, but yeah, just half of half.
Is he as funny now because a lot of the
fat is when they lose their weight. Yeah, that melts
away as well. Have you noticed?
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Well can you give me an example hill? Yeah, great one. Yeah,
would you now where he's more serious career?
Speaker 4 (06:01):
Well that's the thing though, like you know when he
got skinny, he just wanted to be all serious.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Films like twenty one Jump Street. Yeah, stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
I've never seen it.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
You haven't, You're missing out. What do you like to watch?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Well? I like him in.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
What's for Wall Street?
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Fall Street?
Speaker 1 (06:18):
He that's I was a fan of Margot Robbie's role
in that. Did you ever carry on like that? Being
the big star, you would have had all that, all
that loose behavior.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
No, Margot Robbie was incredible and that wasn't she was
kind of loutter into superstar.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
We knew super real deal. Yeah, in real life though,
have you ever married carried on like that? Like?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
No, I haven't. He's quite sexually obsessed, isn't he.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (06:45):
That was like Kyle Carl used to just do benders
and like.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
The mics are on right, that's nothing being a TV
star bender means something else in it in the UK?
Speaker 3 (06:56):
What does it mean in the UK?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Means a gay person? Well, I mean it's it's a
horrible slang.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Certainly, not the not the situation. We have a gay
here though. Do you want to say hello Brooklyn?
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Oh, thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Do you do any characters when you're not dressed in
the character.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
What would you lame me to dress? I do a
couple of little Breton characters in the live show, actually
do so. I do Carol Beer because he just has
no lady, and the other one is a surprise. Could
I love making an appearance on the screen.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Really do him in?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Well, it's pretty it's pretty recorded because it would be
the middle of the night.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Or that's like me, what's that stupid stage?
Speaker 3 (07:42):
You're doing a pantomime or something.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
I didn't even know I was doing it. Apparently I'm
doing a pantomime, which is the lowest end of entertainment.
There's up there. There's movie star, then there's TV star,
radio star, podcast star, theater star, the worst, the all
from Grace. Have you done theater? You've done a little?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
I don't think it's seen in quite that way. I mean,
if you're a massive theater style, you're still well it depends.
So you have you done a pantomime before?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Well, I've been the man? What am I Peter? The
magic mirror? What am I magic mirror?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Correct?
Speaker 3 (08:16):
But again it's pre recorded.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
I won't.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
I won't because it may frighten the children.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
No, no, and I was. We did a one night
only production of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert where I
was the Asian and I had a mechanical of Vagina
shooting balls into the audience. You know, have you seen Priscilla,
Queen of the Desert. It is true.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Okay, I'm starting to feel quite ill.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Actually, we're not going to play the video. We're not
going to play the video.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I have seen the movie. You're a fan of that, Well,
I liked it at the time. It since but I
enjoyed it, Yes, I remember that.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
What films do you enjoy it? Like? What's your cup
of tea? Uh? Well, what are you at home watching? Well?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I have eleven year old son, so he is a
big comedy fan. So he's never seen anything I've done.
But so he's very into like Will Farrell movies, the movies,
the Austin Power stuff. So we have really been enjoying.
He's just got into Eddie Murphy as well. Yeah, he's
watching all these movies that I love but maybe haven't
(09:22):
seen recently. So we love watching those movies together and
we sort of take turns to choose. I love James
Bond movies. That's what I'm obsessed with and so I
make him watch James Bond movies and also Flash Gordon,
you know the Yeah, I think may be my favorite film.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
I mean I like some some sort of pretentious European
art house movies, but I feel there's no need to
mention them this morning.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Then go over our here.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
The bicycle thieves like the bicycle Thiemes.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
So let's not worry about talk about James Bond.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Favorite James Bond.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Really well. I got to know Roger Moore quite well.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Oh wow, okay, and I loved him and he actually
even called me on my birthday. This was about it
must have been about fifteen years ago. I said, happy
birthday to you. Its Roger More. I said, oh, thank
you very much for calling me. I'm in bed naked
and he went, so am I it's such a shame
we're not together, he went, I know. So he was
(10:27):
a really funny guy and he didn't take himself too seriously.
He was very self deprecating. Something you could learn from.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I'm trying to figure out what that means. Do you
know who's a James Bond. That's a piece of shit?
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Yes he is. No, that's not true. So not that
not true. He is the most charming man I have
ever met. Well you and I must say, why are
you saying that?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
I'm telling why.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
Because he did correct him on the red carpet is
the most minor thing.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Day we're in Spain.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
We're Spain. On the Red Red Prospect. He came up.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
He was currently James Bond at the time, and Carl said,
why hasn't there ever been? No there should be an
Australian James Bond and he said, well, there has been
exactly That's all.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
He said, huge, except and I'm supposed to know.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
You are supposed to supposed to have done your reserve
on every.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Every bloke walk in the Red cabin. I'm going to
have the whole backstory of everything.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Well, I think you should know about James Bond. And
also as an Australian, you should know that an Australian
played James Bond. I think that's right. Peers Boson absolutely
charming man.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Tell you what I did enjoy Pierce Brosnan in Remington Steele.
Do you remember that show?
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Remington Still?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I was in a game show. I never knew I
was so innocent, Brooklyn, you would have known that, well,
I was too young. I think that marinated me.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Let's not promote Remington Steel. It hasn't been on the
air for about forty years. Let's come back to me.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Yes, it's a good itea yes, glittering career, that's right, Yes,
it is very glittering. It is.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
You've had an incredible career, I mean you really have.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Yes, well, I feel very lucky because I've had you know,
the sketch comedy with math. Most people know me from
Little Britain, comply with me, and they're still enjoyed by
people because they're great, well, thank you, and kids are
discovering them on YouTube because it's it's sketches. It works
well in like two three minute bits, so they're always
shared on Instagram, TikTok and all.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
That's what we call correctness ruined comedy. A lot of
people say, hasn't ruined your career? We say no, that
don't find.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
No, it hasn't. I mean, it's it's just more sensitivity,
isn't there. And of course people have more of a voice,
don't they, Because if you didn't like something that was
on British television, you'd have to find the BBC Complaints
Department number, call them up load your complain.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Now.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
It's much easier, isn't it. Because you're watching something and
you're starting to you get on your phone and start
and such eating you don't like something.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
But I think if you who cares what one person
really thinks is that? Should that be taken into consideration.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Well, I think we've got to understand that there is
a spread of opinions about things, isn't it not things?
One piece of you know, art or whatever you want
to call it is not for everybody, you know. I
think of the best example of that for me is
The Life of Brian. For me, the funniest film ever
made for the Pope.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
I didn't understand it. I didn't get it right.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Okay, how has he had this career? I mean it
seems I think photos of the right people, there's a
light life of Brian. He doesn't know there's an Australian
James Bard.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
And I was homeless. So I was thinking out of
the bin it will be again soon, you know what.
I live for the day I get fired, the payout
alone look.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
For really, well, it won't be long, ten minutes or so. Yeah,
So I feel I much prefer you so I feel
I feel very lucky in my career have had that,
and then I've had like you you were a judge
on Australian Idol.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Still am you?
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:06):
And you're not a judge on any No, I'm not.
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
I've done not very good at judging or well I
did ten years and I think that's enough.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Yeah. And by the way, I bitch about everyone all
the time and it always just gets cut off the TV.
All us judges. We bitched like no one's business about everyone.
That's the funnest part of judging. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Well, I mean it's it's an entertainment show, isn't it.
I mean, that's the thing.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
It's not.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
It's not the Olympics.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Were you? Were you on the Were you on the
one where they juggle? And everything was that They've got talent? Talent?
I did that show as well. I did that here.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
I did Australia's Got Talent. But you weren't on it
when I did it?
Speaker 1 (14:44):
No, no, because that that was the last one. But
they wanted me to come on for the finale to
boost the ratings, and I took the money, but I
didn't end up saying out.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
What I heard what do you hear? Well, I didn't
hear anything. You're just lying. You do exaggerated.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Tell this bloke, tell this blow what happened? Bruno is
his manager? Okay, you have a manager. I can't. I
can't be at meetings. What do they do? I don't know.
I think he just plays computer games. What happened with that?
Got talent? Bullshit? That I took that money from Bruno? Yeah,
hey on, let me just pause my computer game. Yeah. So, yeah,
(15:25):
they wanted you on for the finale, so they gave
you a ton of cash up front, and then I
think maybe's during the COVID.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
Time, so they just said, oh, let's get back to
it at some other point.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
And then when that other point came out like that,
I was on.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Yeah it was canceled. Yes, that's correct to sort of
present yourself as someone you know, you were asked you
dropped out. No, it was Covidas a whole different thing.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
You're obviously a facts guy that is very engulfed.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Well, I just feel with you there should be a
bullshit ometer. Yeah, because I've heard an awful lot this morning.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
No, No, a lot of what I've said is true. Really, Yeah,
Jackie has had two British husbands. British guy was fast.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
I just ended up with them for some reason.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
If you like him, just saying yeah, like of course.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
I love British men. You know I love Australian men too.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
You've not married one, I haven't. No, have you ever
married an Australian person?
Speaker 2 (16:22):
No, but I do very much Australian humor. You like
late well, Australian humor, Yeah, for sure. Barry Humphrey is
my favorite comedian of Yeah, and and yeah. Australian Australian
women are very beautiful, aren't they. I mean I'm good
friends with Natalie and Breulia Kylie Minogue a few times.
(16:43):
So yeah, there's lots of Australia's a lot of Australian supermodels,
aren't they. So yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
It's Natalie and Brillia what just a fabulous woman.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Yeah, she is wonderful, she.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
Is lovely, She's a swedetie.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Has she been on this show many?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Really? She came back.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
So if you want tickets to an audience with David Williams,
you can head to ticke tech dot com dot au.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Said the big One, Sorry Ticke Tech. You know if
you're a ticketech guy, you're worth seeing it. Yeah. He
always interrupts you.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Yeah, oh yeah, because.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
You know you're giving away the website details. So what
I'll say is just a little bit. Just give us
ten second, Just give us ten see if you can
shut up ten second.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
From now.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Okay, ten seconds.
Speaker 4 (17:40):
So the website, guys, is ticke tech dot com dot
au for an audience with David Williams. And that's where
you can see the Matine show for the kids books which.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Make ten makers.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
That was he couldn't do it. See, yes, there's a
kids show in the during the day, but it's too
grown up for you, your feeble mind. And then in
the evening there's a grown up shot. So I love
to invite you. Well, I'd love to invite you.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yeah, I'm not coming.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
No, I don't want you. I want you to come.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
I've got bath time and everything. Who but do you
who's bathing your son when you're not when you're away.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
They they get older, they get older. You'll find that
they bathe themselves. I know you're probably still bathed by
someone winched in and out of a bar. But my
son he showers on his own day.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
So he's good for that. It's impressive. Enjoy I am, yeah,
like it's it's it's it's softened me.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Do you think you'll live to see him no, reach
his teenage years?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
No, because my wife's on me about that ship. Now,
I don't eat the seventh bit of toast with peanut
butter on it, Like, how about eating some broccoli? You know, punishes?
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Are you ever going to you know, like some celebrities
go on as mpick.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
No, I don't care about that ship. I've survived my
whole life making love to chubby chasers. There's a lot
of chubby chasers out there. You wouldn't know.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
I do know about chubby chase.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
I don't know if you do.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
No, I do know about Do you know this well
because I've got so thin I've got Matt.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
Was was yeah, and he would have would He.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Did very well. He was very attractive compared to me.
I don't think me.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
No, he did, you know, but you know he had
lots of admirers. And I have a friend who's like
a bear. You know, you if you were gay, he'd
be a bear. You would be a bear.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Tried to get me to be a bear.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
And he's he's on a thing app called Growler and
that's for bears and their admirers.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Is that right?
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:44):
And basically wherever I've been with him, if we we
sort of touched down somewhere, ding ding ding ding ding
love him because all the there's lots of bear lovers. Yeah, yeah,
so you would do very well well.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Bear that in mind if things go pear shaped with
the family. I'm just cross the other side. We've got
where's Yeah, but no, but yeah, Josh, we've got to
go at that works here. We don't understand what he says.
Maybe you can translate. Hello, how we doing mate?
Speaker 2 (20:12):
We're good? Thank you mate, We're good, mate, We're great.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
That sounds awkward. Tell him where you where your family
all are? Yeah? But no, but yeah, I'm from Manchester.
Oh hello, and all his family are in prison for
stabbing people. Yeah, I escape. And Josh is a gay
sex addict with have you got anything at the moment?
Speaker 2 (20:42):
He's a bit he's a bit controversial.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
You know who else said that? Another buddy bussy boy
from your area instead of the bloke who said what
I want to earth on this show? Yeah, another complainer.
I'll just never come back learn to you ain't getting
a hoodie on.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
The way, Yeah, you won't get our merch.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
No, no hoodie.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Well I'm fine with that.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Is that right, guys, I'm not joking. Get rid of
the get rid of the hoodie. Oh that's our securities
at the door. There's no need to expel this guest.
He's a treasured guest, treasure star.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
So you won't be coming to the show. Is that you?
Would you like to?
Speaker 3 (21:29):
I would yeah, I definitely come.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Okay because I'm British.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Yeah, I'd love to come.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Say no more, I'd love you to come to come.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Ye, sorry, I want to be controversial. A few people
laughing at under their breath.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Okay, yeah, come twice if you want the show on Saturday. Actually,
and there's there's there's also shows during the day.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
If you wanted to as much as you want.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Come, come, come and come.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
I will Well he turned out to be pretty good.
This not a big fan of yours. Really, I wish
I could say the same. Okay, hold coming, I can't
dragged this like you are literally a big fan. No, no,
I'm many Drake and hold many thank you Ticke tech
dot com today you're a big gay following. It's you
(22:21):
everywhere I go. I'm Carl.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Please just just promote me and I can go.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Please. This isn't like that lease we're selling vacuum clean
is here.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
We enjoy your company, okay, but just please tell people
where to buy tickets.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Some joint is it ticke tech dot com? Today? You?
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Yeah, there you go? Was that so hard? Was that
so difficult for you?
Speaker 1 (22:49):
No? No, no, no, that difficult? No? Well are you
such a hard to get along with?
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I think it might be you.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
No, you are the ones that's hard to get along with,
and you are projected a lot o people. That's not I.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
You would have seen me on the project because ye
I got on with everybody at Keith Urban. I got
on very well with very famous Yes, I know who's
gone on with everybody except for me?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Somebody.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Well you're okay, but I think you're It's a bit
of a wind up merchant, isn't he?
Speaker 1 (23:21):
No?
Speaker 2 (23:21):
He does it to get attention. When you finished this,
sow do you do? You go in a darkened room
and cry, No, really you should try.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
I'm not a comedian. That's what comedians do very good
when they're in front of me.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
I knew he wasn't a comedian from the moment I
met him, because okay, okay, all right, okay.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
See what you've gone and done? Now you ruined everything?
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Oh god, you don't have to apologize when you swear.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Apologize to who?
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Well your your one one listener and who's left I'd
like to apologize.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Well, the censer takes care of it.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
She does. Yeah, it would have gotten beaped.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I would have got beat. Okay, yeah, so she can.
What's the delay?
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Then?
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Thirty seconds? Second?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Hi, David, I know you'd be quiet in the background.
It would be beaped.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
They would. Yeah, same with you.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Try it out if you want.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
I'm worried about trying out.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
They don't beat. Sometimes they're a bit.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
It'll be like, oh he swore, yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
David Williams. Tickets to an audience with David Williams at
the ticket tek dot com. Are you there? Your myself?
Out for you?
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Thank you very much. I'm touring. Could you mention all
the dates? Have you got those written down?
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Probably not, I do. Did you please give you the date?
Speaker 4 (24:49):
In Melbourne it's Saturday, the shish of October, and then
in Sydney it's Friday the sixth and Saturday the seventh
at ic C.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
That's right? What's that? What's that.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
With you?
Speaker 2 (25:05):
He can't he can't be quiet, can he?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
I don't have to be My name's on the show?
Is your name on the billboard? No? Tonight. It's a
big deal about you. It's all you. You can control everything.
M M. Have you got anything? If the protesters show up?
Sometimes the protesters show up. Happened to jim Jefferies. Happened
to Seinfeld that all the protesters were they protesting about
(25:31):
anything that Jimmy Carryeah? Did he have protesters? Is that
the chatty man?
Speaker 2 (25:36):
No, that's Alan Carr whatever.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
I don't know who that bloke is.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
He's very funny committin. I'm going to get protesters, not
against protesters. What would they be protesting about.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
The Middle East? And you know who knows.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
I don't think you can really help me responsible for that.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
It doesn't matter who's responsible. They just like.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
It would make it interesting if they were protesters, make
it a bit of a news story.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Hopefully not at the kids show.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
No, it would be horrible. No, no, no, no, good luck.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Enjoy the tour.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Thank you very much. You've been charming.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Thank you David, as have you my friend
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Kyle and Jackie Oh
Kyle Jackie Morning.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm David Williams.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
David Walliams. If you want to go and check this
dude out. Very funny, we know him, love him from
Little Britain. Britain's got talent, a million other things. If
you were unfortunate enough last night to be watching The Project,
which is a show I can't stand and we ban everyone,
all the hosts a band from this show.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
But David, he was on it last night.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
He was co hosting an international guest. He's not to
know the show's shit, but I did watch him on that.
My wife watches the show every night, just to my disgrace. David,
nice to see you. To you guys, Are you feel
more handsome than yeah, than I have ever noticed?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Yeah, sorry much, but thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
That's understandable. I get it. I get it.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
So you're doing shows an audience with David Williams.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
You've got a head to ticke a tech for.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
The for the you to go there, you got to
go down there, got her head.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
To the website to get the tickets.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Yeah, sort of bullshit? Are you doing on this show?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Is it a funny show for the whole family, or
is it an adult only.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Well, there's a show aimed at kids during the day
which is all about my books, and so that's the
sort of matinee. And then in the evening it's an
audience with which is much more about Little Britain. Come
fly with me, Frank's got talent.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
You're going to do two a day, three a.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Day sometimes, well, I'm going to do if you know
demand is there, which your husband doing eleven am at
three pm. So these are the two kids shows. And
then there was seven point thirty.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Cary Hooker always working. You never have any time.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
I was told he was controversial.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Who told you it?
Speaker 3 (01:40):
They lied?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Troversial.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
No, Well, the thing is I do have, like you know,
different parts of my career and to some extent, different audiences.
And obviously there are lots of people saying can we
bring our kids to the evening show?
Speaker 1 (01:51):
And it's fine. It's not like it's you know, as
rude as this show.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I mean, obviously there's some adult comedy themes and things
like that, and so the kids, you know, because obviously
that's been a big part of my career. It's just
great to do something specially for them, so I can
really concentrate on talking about the books, and they're entertaining
them because it is different.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
Told, you wouldn't know about this because Otto is not
at that age. So yeah, wait till Otto gets a
little bit older, David does the best books for kids.
Like he's being compared to because of how good.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Roll has no Jesus Christ. Who you know the author,
Roll Dahl, Roll Dah, I don't know. I was a
homeless child. We didn't have any of the uh you know,
no doubt class being Brittain Jackie only having sex with
British guys. You guys are the higher end of entertainment. Yeah,
(02:53):
when I'm eating out of the bin, Ronald at Dahl
is not someone I'm interested in.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
You know, he's sold fifty million books, sixty million, sixty Now.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Who's county? I am? How many books have you sold?
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Is that sexty millions?
Speaker 1 (03:09):
She's just said, no, you serious? Wow, that's very popular.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
But see, you won't know this yet when when Otto
is at that age where you have to read him
proper books.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
You know, what's the age difference for what with your wife?
She's thirty six okay and I'm fifty three. Okay, that's right,
that's about okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Do you have a partner?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yes? I do.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
Is there a big age bigger than that?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Is sheps older than you or younger? Is thirty years old?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
How long have you guys been together for?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
I've got a sort of mum fixation. Not love now, No,
I'm just I'm just kidding with you.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Oh you reckon, you gues. I do that age per
because of the TV, because I am on, I am.
I am also a TV star, but you're more a
face for radio. Yes I am. Yeah, I'm the idol.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Have you been married before?
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Yeah? Of course?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
How many times?
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Just once? Right? Okay, so this is the second marriage, okay,
the first the first marriage she ended up hating my guts.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I can't believe.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
No, I believe. I can't believe it. And Jackie, this
might surprise you. She's also been married multiple times.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
I have twice.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
You right now, what's going on?
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Now?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
I'm single?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Now she's opened for business.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Yeah, I am. I've been single for like when did
I split up with my husband? Twenty eighteen? I think?
And then I just wanted to stay single for ages.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Which was order and wait as well, Yeah I did.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Actually I was actually quite a bit heavier than what
I am.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Yeah, how what size are you now?
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Size?
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah? Look at ten eight?
Speaker 3 (04:59):
What a yeah?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
What size are you?
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Oh? Four x?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
I'd see you as a sort of a woman's size
about twenty four.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Yes, yes, exactly.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
We're not here the fat shame now you're mate. You
did a little Britain with He's a little roly poly
as well. We've had him on the show. He's a hoot.
He is still like he is.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
He has lost weight though, Oh has he way? Something
like that is a proper way. No, he's lost a
lot of weight. So he's really skinny now, skinnier than me.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Is he's funny?
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Is he really that skinny?
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Now?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
He's really skinny.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Yeah, he doesn't suit him. You know some people are just.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Sort of surprise when you see him.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Oh my god, he's just popped up on the screen.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Now but it's still him, but yeah, just half of half.
Is he as funny now because a lot of the
fat is when they lose their weight. Yeah, that melts
away as well. Have you noticed?
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Well can you give me an example hill? Yeah, great one. Yeah,
would you now where he's more serious career?
Speaker 4 (06:01):
Well that's the thing though, like you know when he
got skinny, he just wanted to be all serious.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Films like twenty one Jump Street. Yeah, stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
I've never seen it.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
You haven't, You're missing out. What do you like to watch?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Well? I like him in.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
What's for Wall Street?
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Fall Street?
Speaker 1 (06:18):
He that's I was a fan of Margot Robbie's role
in that. Did you ever carry on like that? Being
the big star, you would have had all that, all
that loose behavior.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
No, Margot Robbie was incredible and that wasn't she was
kind of loutter into superstar.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
We knew super real deal. Yeah, in real life though,
have you ever married carried on like that? Like?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
No, I haven't. He's quite sexually obsessed, isn't he.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (06:45):
That was like Kyle Carl used to just do benders
and like.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
The mics are on right, that's nothing being a TV
star bender means something else in it in the UK?
Speaker 3 (06:56):
What does it mean in the UK?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Means a gay person? Well, I mean it's it's a
horrible slang.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Certainly, not the not the situation. We have a gay
here though. Do you want to say hello Brooklyn?
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Oh, thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Do you do any characters when you're not dressed in
the character.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
What would you lame me to dress? I do a
couple of little Breton characters in the live show, actually
do so. I do Carol Beer because he just has
no lady, and the other one is a surprise. Could
I love making an appearance on the screen.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Really do him in?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Well, it's pretty it's pretty recorded because it would be
the middle of the night.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Or that's like me, what's that stupid stage?
Speaker 3 (07:42):
You're doing a pantomime or something.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
I didn't even know I was doing it. Apparently I'm
doing a pantomime, which is the lowest end of entertainment.
There's up there. There's movie star, then there's TV star,
radio star, podcast star, theater star, the worst, the all
from Grace. Have you done theater? You've done a little?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
I don't think it's seen in quite that way. I mean,
if you're a massive theater style, you're still well it depends.
So you have you done a pantomime before?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Well, I've been the man? What am I Peter? The
magic mirror? What am I magic mirror?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Correct?
Speaker 3 (08:16):
But again it's pre recorded.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
I won't.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
I won't because it may frighten the children.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
No, no, and I was. We did a one night
only production of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert where I
was the Asian and I had a mechanical of Vagina
shooting balls into the audience. You know, have you seen Priscilla,
Queen of the Desert. It is true.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Okay, I'm starting to feel quite ill.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Actually, we're not going to play the video. We're not
going to play the video.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I have seen the movie. You're a fan of that, Well,
I liked it at the time. It since but I
enjoyed it, Yes, I remember that.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
What films do you enjoy it? Like? What's your cup
of tea? Uh? Well, what are you at home watching? Well?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I have eleven year old son, so he is a
big comedy fan. So he's never seen anything I've done.
But so he's very into like Will Farrell movies, the movies,
the Austin Power stuff. So we have really been enjoying.
He's just got into Eddie Murphy as well. Yeah, he's
watching all these movies that I love but maybe haven't
(09:22):
seen recently. So we love watching those movies together and
we sort of take turns to choose. I love James
Bond movies. That's what I'm obsessed with and so I
make him watch James Bond movies and also Flash Gordon,
you know the Yeah, I think may be my favorite film.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
I mean I like some some sort of pretentious European
art house movies, but I feel there's no need to
mention them this morning.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Then go over our here.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
The bicycle thieves like the bicycle Thiemes.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
So let's not worry about talk about James Bond.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Favorite James Bond.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Really well. I got to know Roger Moore quite well.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Oh wow, okay, and I loved him and he actually
even called me on my birthday. This was about it
must have been about fifteen years ago. I said, happy
birthday to you. Its Roger More. I said, oh, thank
you very much for calling me. I'm in bed naked
and he went, so am I it's such a shame
we're not together, he went, I know. So he was
(10:27):
a really funny guy and he didn't take himself too seriously.
He was very self deprecating. Something you could learn from.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I'm trying to figure out what that means. Do you
know who's a James Bond. That's a piece of shit?
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Yes he is. No, that's not true. So not that
not true. He is the most charming man I have
ever met. Well you and I must say, why are
you saying that?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
I'm telling why.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
Because he did correct him on the red carpet is
the most minor thing.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Day we're in Spain.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
We're Spain. On the Red Red Prospect. He came up.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
He was currently James Bond at the time, and Carl said,
why hasn't there ever been? No there should be an
Australian James Bond and he said, well, there has been
exactly That's all.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
He said, huge, except and I'm supposed to know.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
You are supposed to supposed to have done your reserve
on every.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Every bloke walk in the Red cabin. I'm going to
have the whole backstory of everything.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Well, I think you should know about James Bond. And
also as an Australian, you should know that an Australian
played James Bond. I think that's right. Peers Boson absolutely
charming man.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Tell you what I did enjoy Pierce Brosnan in Remington Steele.
Do you remember that show?
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Remington Still?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I was in a game show. I never knew I
was so innocent, Brooklyn, you would have known that, well,
I was too young. I think that marinated me.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Let's not promote Remington Steel. It hasn't been on the
air for about forty years. Let's come back to me.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Yes, it's a good itea yes, glittering career, that's right, Yes,
it is very glittering. It is.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
You've had an incredible career, I mean you really have.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Yes, well, I feel very lucky because I've had you know,
the sketch comedy with math. Most people know me from
Little Britain, comply with me, and they're still enjoyed by
people because they're great, well, thank you, and kids are
discovering them on YouTube because it's it's sketches. It works
well in like two three minute bits, so they're always
shared on Instagram, TikTok and all.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
That's what we call correctness ruined comedy. A lot of
people say, hasn't ruined your career? We say no, that
don't find.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
No, it hasn't. I mean, it's it's just more sensitivity,
isn't there. And of course people have more of a voice,
don't they, Because if you didn't like something that was
on British television, you'd have to find the BBC Complaints
Department number, call them up load your complain.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Now.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
It's much easier, isn't it. Because you're watching something and
you're starting to you get on your phone and start
and such eating you don't like something.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
But I think if you who cares what one person
really thinks is that? Should that be taken into consideration.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Well, I think we've got to understand that there is
a spread of opinions about things, isn't it not things?
One piece of you know, art or whatever you want
to call it is not for everybody, you know. I
think of the best example of that for me is
The Life of Brian. For me, the funniest film ever
made for the Pope.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
I didn't understand it. I didn't get it right.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Okay, how has he had this career? I mean it
seems I think photos of the right people, there's a
light life of Brian. He doesn't know there's an Australian
James Bard.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
And I was homeless. So I was thinking out of
the bin it will be again soon, you know what.
I live for the day I get fired, the payout
alone look.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
For really, well, it won't be long, ten minutes or so. Yeah,
So I feel I much prefer you so I feel
I feel very lucky in my career have had that,
and then I've had like you you were a judge
on Australian Idol.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Still am you?
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:06):
And you're not a judge on any No, I'm not.
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
I've done not very good at judging or well I
did ten years and I think that's enough.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Yeah. And by the way, I bitch about everyone all
the time and it always just gets cut off the TV.
All us judges. We bitched like no one's business about everyone.
That's the funnest part of judging. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Well, I mean it's it's an entertainment show, isn't it.
I mean, that's the thing.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
It's not.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
It's not the Olympics.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Were you? Were you on the Were you on the
one where they juggle? And everything was that They've got talent? Talent?
I did that show as well. I did that here.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
I did Australia's Got Talent. But you weren't on it
when I did it?
Speaker 1 (14:44):
No, no, because that that was the last one. But
they wanted me to come on for the finale to
boost the ratings, and I took the money, but I
didn't end up saying out.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
What I heard what do you hear? Well, I didn't
hear anything. You're just lying. You do exaggerated.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Tell this bloke, tell this blow what happened? Bruno is
his manager? Okay, you have a manager. I can't. I
can't be at meetings. What do they do? I don't know.
I think he just plays computer games. What happened with that?
Got talent? Bullshit? That I took that money from Bruno? Yeah,
hey on, let me just pause my computer game. Yeah. So, yeah,
(15:25):
they wanted you on for the finale, so they gave
you a ton of cash up front, and then I
think maybe's during the COVID.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
Time, so they just said, oh, let's get back to
it at some other point.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
And then when that other point came out like that,
I was on.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Yeah it was canceled. Yes, that's correct to sort of
present yourself as someone you know, you were asked you
dropped out. No, it was Covidas a whole different thing.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
You're obviously a facts guy that is very engulfed.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Well, I just feel with you there should be a
bullshit ometer. Yeah, because I've heard an awful lot this morning.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
No, No, a lot of what I've said is true. Really, Yeah,
Jackie has had two British husbands. British guy was fast.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
I just ended up with them for some reason.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
If you like him, just saying yeah, like of course.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
I love British men. You know I love Australian men too.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
You've not married one, I haven't. No, have you ever
married an Australian person?
Speaker 2 (16:22):
No, but I do very much Australian humor. You like
late well, Australian humor, Yeah, for sure. Barry Humphrey is
my favorite comedian of Yeah, and and yeah. Australian Australian
women are very beautiful, aren't they. I mean I'm good
friends with Natalie and Breulia Kylie Minogue a few times.
(16:43):
So yeah, there's lots of Australia's a lot of Australian supermodels,
aren't they. So yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
It's Natalie and Brillia what just a fabulous woman.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Yeah, she is wonderful, she.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
Is lovely, She's a swedetie.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Has she been on this show many?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Really? She came back.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
So if you want tickets to an audience with David Williams,
you can head to ticke tech dot com dot au.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Said the big One, Sorry Ticke Tech. You know if
you're a ticketech guy, you're worth seeing it. Yeah. He
always interrupts you.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Yeah, oh yeah, because.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
You know you're giving away the website details. So what
I'll say is just a little bit. Just give us
ten second, Just give us ten see if you can
shut up ten second.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
From now.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Okay, ten seconds.
Speaker 4 (17:40):
So the website, guys, is ticke tech dot com dot
au for an audience with David Williams. And that's where
you can see the Matine show for the kids books which.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Make ten makers.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
That was he couldn't do it. See, yes, there's a
kids show in the during the day, but it's too
grown up for you, your feeble mind. And then in
the evening there's a grown up shot. So I love
to invite you. Well, I'd love to invite you.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yeah, I'm not coming.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
No, I don't want you. I want you to come.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
I've got bath time and everything. Who but do you
who's bathing your son when you're not when you're away.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
They they get older, they get older. You'll find that
they bathe themselves. I know you're probably still bathed by
someone winched in and out of a bar. But my
son he showers on his own day.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
So he's good for that. It's impressive. Enjoy I am, yeah,
like it's it's it's it's softened me.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Do you think you'll live to see him no, reach
his teenage years?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
No, because my wife's on me about that ship. Now,
I don't eat the seventh bit of toast with peanut
butter on it, Like, how about eating some broccoli? You know, punishes?
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Are you ever going to you know, like some celebrities
go on as mpick.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
No, I don't care about that ship. I've survived my
whole life making love to chubby chasers. There's a lot
of chubby chasers out there. You wouldn't know.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
I do know about chubby chase.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
I don't know if you do.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
No, I do know about Do you know this well
because I've got so thin I've got Matt.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
Was was yeah, and he would have would He.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Did very well. He was very attractive compared to me.
I don't think me.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
No, he did, you know, but you know he had
lots of admirers. And I have a friend who's like
a bear. You know, you if you were gay, he'd
be a bear. You would be a bear.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Tried to get me to be a bear.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
And he's he's on a thing app called Growler and
that's for bears and their admirers.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Is that right?
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:44):
And basically wherever I've been with him, if we we
sort of touched down somewhere, ding ding ding ding ding
love him because all the there's lots of bear lovers. Yeah, yeah,
so you would do very well well.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Bear that in mind if things go pear shaped with
the family. I'm just cross the other side. We've got
where's Yeah, but no, but yeah, Josh, we've got to
go at that works here. We don't understand what he says.
Maybe you can translate. Hello, how we doing mate?
Speaker 2 (20:12):
We're good? Thank you mate, We're good, mate, We're great.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
That sounds awkward. Tell him where you where your family
all are? Yeah? But no, but yeah, I'm from Manchester.
Oh hello, and all his family are in prison for
stabbing people. Yeah, I escape. And Josh is a gay
sex addict with have you got anything at the moment?
Speaker 2 (20:42):
He's a bit he's a bit controversial.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
You know who else said that? Another buddy bussy boy
from your area instead of the bloke who said what
I want to earth on this show? Yeah, another complainer.
I'll just never come back learn to you ain't getting
a hoodie on.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
The way, Yeah, you won't get our merch.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
No, no hoodie.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Well I'm fine with that.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Is that right, guys, I'm not joking. Get rid of
the get rid of the hoodie. Oh that's our securities
at the door. There's no need to expel this guest.
He's a treasured guest, treasure star.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
So you won't be coming to the show. Is that you?
Would you like to?
Speaker 3 (21:29):
I would yeah, I definitely come.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Okay because I'm British.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Yeah, I'd love to come.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Say no more, I'd love you to come to come.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Ye, sorry, I want to be controversial. A few people
laughing at under their breath.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Okay, yeah, come twice if you want the show on Saturday. Actually,
and there's there's there's also shows during the day.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
If you wanted to as much as you want.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Come, come, come and come.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
I will Well he turned out to be pretty good.
This not a big fan of yours. Really, I wish
I could say the same. Okay, hold coming, I can't
dragged this like you are literally a big fan. No, no,
I'm many Drake and hold many thank you Ticke tech
dot com today you're a big gay following. It's you
(22:21):
everywhere I go. I'm Carl.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Please just just promote me and I can go.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Please. This isn't like that lease we're selling vacuum clean
is here.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
We enjoy your company, okay, but just please tell people
where to buy tickets.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Some joint is it ticke tech dot com? Today? You?
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Yeah, there you go? Was that so hard? Was that
so difficult for you?
Speaker 1 (22:49):
No? No, no, no, that difficult? No? Well are you
such a hard to get along with?
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I think it might be you.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
No, you are the ones that's hard to get along with,
and you are projected a lot o people. That's not I.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
You would have seen me on the project because ye
I got on with everybody at Keith Urban. I got
on very well with very famous Yes, I know who's
gone on with everybody except for me?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Somebody.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Well you're okay, but I think you're It's a bit
of a wind up merchant, isn't he?
Speaker 1 (23:21):
No?
Speaker 2 (23:21):
He does it to get attention. When you finished this,
sow do you do? You go in a darkened room
and cry, No, really you should try.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
I'm not a comedian. That's what comedians do very good
when they're in front of me.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
I knew he wasn't a comedian from the moment I
met him, because okay, okay, all right, okay.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
See what you've gone and done? Now you ruined everything?
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Oh god, you don't have to apologize when you swear.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Apologize to who?
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Well your your one one listener and who's left I'd
like to apologize.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Well, the censer takes care of it.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
She does. Yeah, it would have gotten beaped.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I would have got beat. Okay, yeah, so she can.
What's the delay?
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Then?
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Thirty seconds? Second?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Hi, David, I know you'd be quiet in the background.
It would be beaped.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
They would. Yeah, same with you.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Try it out if you want.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
I'm worried about trying out.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
They don't beat. Sometimes they're a bit.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
It'll be like, oh he swore, yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
David Williams. Tickets to an audience with David Williams at
the ticket tek dot com. Are you there? Your myself?
Out for you?
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Thank you very much. I'm touring. Could you mention all
the dates? Have you got those written down?
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Probably not, I do. Did you please give you the date?
Speaker 4 (24:49):
In Melbourne it's Saturday, the shish of October, and then
in Sydney it's Friday the sixth and Saturday the seventh
at ic C.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
That's right? What's that? What's that.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
With you?
Speaker 2 (25:05):
He can't he can't be quiet, can he?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
I don't have to be My name's on the show?
Is your name on the billboard? No? Tonight. It's a
big deal about you. It's all you. You can control everything.
M M. Have you got anything? If the protesters show up?
Sometimes the protesters show up. Happened to jim Jefferies. Happened
to Seinfeld that all the protesters were they protesting about
(25:31):
anything that Jimmy Carryeah? Did he have protesters? Is that
the chatty man?
Speaker 2 (25:36):
No, that's Alan Carr whatever.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
I don't know who that bloke is.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
He's very funny committin. I'm going to get protesters, not
against protesters. What would they be protesting about.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
The Middle East? And you know who knows.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
I don't think you can really help me responsible for that.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
It doesn't matter who's responsible. They just like.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
It would make it interesting if they were protesters, make
it a bit of a news story.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Hopefully not at the kids show.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
No, it would be horrible. No, no, no, no, good luck.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Enjoy the tour.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Thank you very much. You've been charming.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Thank you David, as have you my friend
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Kyle and Jackie Oh
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