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October 13, 2024 • 12 mins

We're airing out the team's dirty laundry this week with Kyle & Jackie O's Office Confessions. A confession is played with a voice decoder over it, KJ guess who it is then we hear the reveal and story behind it. Have a listen to hear the full story...

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kyle and Jadgio's Office Confessions. I tell you my Golfirsi time.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
That new Aussie version of the Office coming to Prime Video.
You can check that out from this Friday, October eighteen.
A lot of people very site of read great articles,
you know in the articles, like they'll really let you
know if you've made a dud show. And yeah, we're
saying this is fantastic.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
I'm very excited about it.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
A lot of Australian type stuff in there, a lot
of people relate to it.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
Yeah, how fun. We need a new show like that,
don't we.

Speaker 3 (00:30):
It's been too long, be right, and we can do
comedy very well Australia. Oh shit, like really, well, so
I'm happy about this. But to celebrate, we're doing our
own Office Confessions. And somebody has been on the voice
to code of confessing to something that they've done in
the workplace, whether that be here or a prior workplace

(00:50):
to hear okay, and then we have to try and
guess which team member is making the confession.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
Right, Okay, Well that should be too hard.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
Well, should we have a listen? And then here's ready.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
And remember we've distorted the voice otherwise it's really easy
to get here it is. I burnt down my bosses
office and then I did it again.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
Oh my, what are we on a counter?

Speaker 2 (01:14):
Oh no, yeah, a music.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
I burnt down the office and then did it again.
So it was intentional.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
Only one person on staff that I think could be
an arsonist, a multiple arsenist. I know who I'm going
to lock in? Who are you going to lock in?

Speaker 1 (01:32):
Are we locking in separately? Doing it together?

Speaker 2 (01:35):
What would you prefer do it together? Who?

Speaker 1 (01:37):
First of all? Who are you thinking?

Speaker 4 (01:40):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:40):
No, well, yes exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:44):
Only mentally deranged people set officers on fire, and.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
Then or maybe someone that's got some military background that, yes,
hold still hanging under the desk, PTSD all that on
all the men there.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Hang on what the only office he's ever been in
is out there in the field, but that's there is
no offers.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
Well there is sometimes there's an office.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
I don't think he's going to set that on fire,
No way.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
Why would he burn down his own troops?

Speaker 1 (02:15):
I don't Yeah, I just don't believe it's Hulk.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Who else would it be. It's definitely one of the fellas.
I can't imagine.

Speaker 3 (02:23):
I don't know when I did ballet, I tried to
burn the bathroom down. Well, I just had a thing
with fire, like you know.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
I said, well, that's the news. That's a new We
need to lock something in new confession. Burned down the office,
tried to burn down. Look, I'm still saying, ho a,
we play the audio again. Here it is again. I

(02:52):
burnt down my boss's office and then I did it again.

Speaker 3 (02:57):
Yeah, it sounds like it's so you're right, let's lock
in Hulk.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
We're locking in Hulk. Our audio producer, ex military guy.
His records are sealed, like his his CV was all
redacted from the government, so I just had his name
at the top and we're like, you look like a
good guy. It wasn't until he started working here we
realized there's a lot of issues there. But a wonderful

(03:23):
fella like solid, Yeah, solid enough to burn down his
boss's office and then try it again. Yeah, is it, Hulk?
Are we right?

Speaker 1 (03:33):
Yeah, let's see it's in ter pede here.

Speaker 5 (03:35):
I'll down my boss's office twice.

Speaker 2 (03:40):
You were right? Now, did this really happen? Yeah?

Speaker 5 (03:44):
Yeah, yeah, about twenty years ago, I accidentally set fire
to the office and then it happened again.

Speaker 6 (03:50):
So okay, it's a bit.

Speaker 5 (03:51):
Ridiculous, but you know it was a qualified chef at
the time. So at the restaurant in the office area
is back. You know the teatawls we use, yeah, very
oily and stuff, so you have to wash them and
throw them out regularly. My job was to throw out
the towers after about like two months, if that makes sense.

Speaker 2 (04:08):
You didn't wash them for two months, now, I know we.

Speaker 5 (04:10):
Did, but like also throw them because they get really
oily all all that.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
Sort of stuff.

Speaker 5 (04:13):
So my sorry, So my job was to take them
out of the dryer at the end of the night.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
Yeah, and the first you made the story quicker.

Speaker 5 (04:21):
Yeah, and then they combusted inside the dryer and burnt
the whole office down.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
What do you mean they combusted inside.

Speaker 6 (04:28):
The oils and things in tied the tea towels.

Speaker 5 (04:30):
My job was taken out out of the dryer and
they combusted, so the heat was building up inside and
overnight it burnt down the restaurant and the office there.

Speaker 6 (04:37):
Oh god, so it's told obviously that could never happen.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
I apologized to Hulk for besmirching his character. Sorry Hulk, Sorry, bro,
that wasn't made himself seen out there.

Speaker 4 (04:49):
Well, full disclosure and not to one uppeat me and
the boys did burn a building down on operations, but
that matter was formally investigated and I'm not going further much.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
Another redacted part of this very thick CV.

Speaker 3 (05:06):
The new Aussie version of the Office is coming to
Prime Video. It's this Friday, October eighteen.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
You faced the criminal charges for that, Peter or No.

Speaker 6 (05:14):
No, no, no, no, no, it was more.

Speaker 5 (05:16):
I think they thought I was special because it happened
again three months later.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
I don't think they think you, especially everyone. I think
because of the government subsidy, everyone knows there's something going
on there. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (05:25):
I was on an apprentice scheme there as well, So yeah,
I think you sam a scheme. No no, no, no, no, no, Actually,
pack then.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
This guy's such a scammer. You've got to admire a
guy who pays his way through scams, do you think?

Speaker 1 (05:44):
No, I don't admire people like that.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
But don't you think God his somehow managed to survive.

Speaker 1 (05:50):
Yeah, but he's surviving.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
He's not even thriving, you know, Like, if you're going
to do scams, at least live large.

Speaker 7 (05:59):
I feel him on Friday car when you weren't here
Cooper John's brought everyone. McDonald's brought it in here, and
then when everyone left, Pete comes in and just takes
all the monopoly things off everyone's McDonald's.

Speaker 5 (06:13):
That's what I'm saying, get a small He goes as well,
So thank you for a big mac or a mcchickenburger.

Speaker 6 (06:22):
It's my choice. When I go in on the my
McDonald's AAP.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
I do like that as McDonald's, but I don't collect them.
If I don't win instantly, I give up.

Speaker 6 (06:32):
I'll grab you alls next time if you don't want them.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
He has. He's been in here multiple times pulling those
monopoly things.

Speaker 1 (06:38):
Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
He goes small, small fries, small coke, big deal. How's
it going at your joint, Peter? Are you still living
with the Taiwanese?

Speaker 6 (06:51):
Yeah, he's still there.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
So have they said anything yet?

Speaker 5 (06:54):
No, I still haven't spoken, so I don't really know
much about them or anything like that, which is which
is fine.

Speaker 2 (06:58):
You guys have your own shelves in the fridge or what.

Speaker 5 (07:01):
They all have theirs because they have lots of Asian
flavors and pieces.

Speaker 6 (07:05):
I've got one shelf which is mine.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
What have you got on your shelf?

Speaker 5 (07:08):
Just tin schooner, some flower, flower coc no sugar?

Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yep?

Speaker 5 (07:13):
What do you be a flower in the flower for pancakes?

Speaker 6 (07:17):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (07:18):
Why don't you just get the shaking back?

Speaker 5 (07:20):
You got to make that as a qualified chief, you've
got to make them from scratch.

Speaker 6 (07:24):
One cup of flower one?

Speaker 3 (07:26):
Do you feel lonely in that house? Because they all
know each other and don't talk to you.

Speaker 6 (07:33):
A little bit? That's all good. I don't like live large,
they say living.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
If there are any Taiwanese listeners, maybe you can ring
up and you can tell Peter a couple of phrases
he can say to the boys be included in the
whold activities.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
Hey, what is this illegal?

Speaker 6 (07:52):
Like?

Speaker 2 (07:52):
Can you probably if you're asking, can you record?

Speaker 1 (07:57):
Like?

Speaker 2 (07:57):
Illegal? What do you in my house?

Speaker 6 (08:01):
Is it illegal?

Speaker 2 (08:01):
Yes? Because you're in a sharehouse.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
Oh do you know a loophole around it?

Speaker 2 (08:05):
What's that? A little sign up like they do with
border security?

Speaker 1 (08:08):
No?

Speaker 3 (08:09):
No, no, no, you don't put a sign yet.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
Do they understand English?

Speaker 6 (08:15):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (08:17):
It's on them, on them.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
Put a sign up saying recording in process.

Speaker 7 (08:21):
They're videoing you in your bedroom.

Speaker 6 (08:23):
Pete so.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
Actually right, yeah, maybe maybe because it's a sharehouse, right, yeah, yeah,
how much you're paying six hundred, six hundred a week?

Speaker 6 (08:36):
Yeah, that's crazy from one.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
Room in a sharehouse.

Speaker 6 (08:41):
It's so fine.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
It's not fine. You're not in a good situation.

Speaker 6 (08:45):
There no no, no issues, it's anyway.

Speaker 3 (08:49):
I was just going to say, like, I'd love for
you to go in and just say hi to them,
but then.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
Record in their own language, and then we get someone
to translate what they're saying about Pete.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
Oh, that would be so good.

Speaker 1 (09:02):
I really want to know. I just I feel I
don't think that's allowed, isn't it.

Speaker 2 (09:13):
Well, we'll ask the permission later. It's always better to
seek forgiveness than ask permission.

Speaker 3 (09:19):
What if we don't play it on our but just
get the transcript.

Speaker 2 (09:24):
I think legal part is the recording without their knowledge.
What if I was nodding guys, I know a way
around it.

Speaker 1 (09:32):
Yeah, same, I think I know a way around it
to you first.

Speaker 4 (09:35):
Okay, So instead of recording it, there are some apps
that Google does, a free one called Google Translate, which
will translate interpret what's being said live, so you'll get
the text on your phone. So you're technically not recording them.
You're just using AI to interpret what they're saying live.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
When that should be allowed. Yeah, do that tonight.

Speaker 4 (09:54):
I've worked at a current affair where we've tried like
every loophole, So I know a loophole.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
Your execurrent affair, ex. Talk back radio. You've been you've
done it all journalism. Yeah, you realize that was a
dying breed.

Speaker 6 (10:10):
Oh yeah, I remember when.

Speaker 4 (10:12):
Yeah, like my first day of journalism when they're like, yeah,
so you know, all of you need to be like
an ABC journalist.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
That's what you should be aiming to be. I was like, yeah, no,
that's not what left wing lunatics. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (10:24):
I was like, that's not really what I'm about.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
What are you about? I'm about having a good time?

Speaker 6 (10:35):
What about I'm about drinking.

Speaker 4 (10:36):
I'm about going out, meeting chicks, meeting guys.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
You're married with a baby, with two babies. Don't remind me, Jackie.
What's that thing there? What's that thing that is that?
Like a lemon juicer?

Speaker 1 (10:52):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (10:52):
What's that doing in here?

Speaker 3 (10:53):
Well, it's for my tea, my ginger tea, lemon fresh
lemon inside the ginger tea.

Speaker 2 (10:58):
Why don't you just sit at home.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
I didn't have time.

Speaker 3 (11:02):
I had to bring it in so I could do
it here trying to put it in.

Speaker 1 (11:06):
A bag, and no I didn't.

Speaker 3 (11:08):
I just had to grab a lemon and the lemon
squeeze the thing that was easy.

Speaker 2 (11:14):
Is this a new thing?

Speaker 1 (11:15):
Since when last week?

Speaker 4 (11:18):
And Jackie, when did you cut the lemon in half?

Speaker 2 (11:20):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (11:21):
I did that as soon as I got in here
at the kitchen, and then I just squeezed it.

Speaker 1 (11:26):
It's my new thing. Ginger tea with lemon and honey.

Speaker 2 (11:31):
That's crazy article. Did you read this? No?

Speaker 1 (11:33):
No, I was just like I thought. I told you.

Speaker 3 (11:35):
It's just I'm replacing the coffee with this now. Well
it's not as fine as coffee. It definitely helps with sleep.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
Yeah. Oh, the office confessions are over?

Speaker 3 (11:49):
Yeah, well no, we'll have another one tomorrow, right, Yes, yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:54):
A new confession tomorrow. Yeah, Kyle and Jackie, O do
do do
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