FULL SHOW: Matty J unpacks what it's like to be a Girl Dad

ASK UNCUT: Danielle's boyfriend of 12 months won't introduce her to his family. We get a legal expert on to chat about the rumoured new laws around eating and driving and Matty J unpacks what it's like being a Girl Dad

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
My Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss Podcast playlist and listen
live on the Free iHeart app.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
A good pick up.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
With Britt Hockley and Laura Ben Lady, your work, our
windows done.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
That's my world. Reason the dust only good, fab.

Speaker 3 (00:28):
Dog all down.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
I don't much, but yeah I know I'll big get
and what I want It don't.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
Matter where goes. This is the pickup.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
Hey, Maddie j You've been doing a wonderful job here
the last couple of weeks, feeling in for your beautiful
wife Laura.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
That is very kind of you to say that. I
really appreciate it.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
Thank you, bra Well, it's been amazing and unfortunately, like
all good things come to an end, it is coming
to an end in a few weeks.

Speaker 4 (00:53):
Amongst other things.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
What date did I've finish? Does anyone know? Grace?

Speaker 1 (00:57):
Can you just confirm it's the twelfth of December?

Speaker 2 (01:01):
Is it?

Speaker 5 (01:01):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:02):
Okay? Great? Cool?

Speaker 4 (01:03):
So you got another couple of weeks.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
But I found what you're going to do after because
I know that you're gonna want to replace this. You're
gonna go I'm going to do with my time. Now
I've got another job for you.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
To look after. Poppy Is that a name. Yeah, I've
been too busy. I need to clean the house bread.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
No, there's a new job that I found you can be.
It's huge in the UK and they're making bank. You
can be a professional cuddler and earn one hundred thousand
pounds a year.

Speaker 4 (01:26):
That is two hundred one thousand Australian dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
You'd like me to become a prostitute.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
No, you literally just cuddle. It's like a human connection thing.
So people that just feel like they want that fit
of physical tuch, bit of intimacy, bit of connection, and
they just go and cuddle. They might like spoon, you
might watch TV. You might just hug in a path.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
I will put it on the maybe pile. It's not I'm.

Speaker 3 (01:49):
Not.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
What makes you think I'm into that.

Speaker 4 (01:52):
Hundreds of thousands of dollars to cuddle people.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
Sorry, it is time for askun cut.

Speaker 4 (01:58):
We do it every week on our podcast.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
You guys, well, you need help, so you come to
the right place.

Speaker 4 (02:04):
You come to us. Unfortunately, Laura's off, so we've.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Got a second. There's no need for the Unfortunately, I
am here to offer my services. I'm very experienced in
the dating world. Britain. I've been married now for almost
two maybe.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
Three, and you dated thirty women simultaneously, so you do
have the experience.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
Hey, I've been through it all, so I'm here to
share my wisdom and knowledge.

Speaker 1 (02:26):
Well, we have Danielle on the phone today who's got
a bit of a problem with her boyfriend and her
family and in laws or something.

Speaker 6 (02:33):
Danielle High welcome, Hi guys, Thank you so much.

Speaker 4 (02:37):
What's the story.

Speaker 6 (02:40):
Yeah, so we've been together for about a year and
he just won't introduce me to his family. It's literally
like the only thing about him that makes you feel
a bit weird, like everything else is perfect. So it's
just going to get your advice on it.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
It's been a year. Do you know what, though, I
actually think that's a blessing because honestly, who wants to
go and see the other one's family and then you've
got to make the old good converse at Christmas.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
No, you don't want to hang out with him, but
you want them. You want to know that they know
you exist, Like you don't need to go and be
with them all the time. But it's like it's a
red flag for sure if a family doesn't know you exist,
but daniel does like his other friends.

Speaker 4 (03:23):
And like the general population.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
Know when I say that, I mean like, does he
post you on Instagram and stuff?

Speaker 6 (03:29):
Yeah, he's posted me like a few times on his story.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
No grid, no no post.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
No grid post is a big flag because it's the
disappearing story as well.

Speaker 4 (03:40):
Twenty four hours you've gone.

Speaker 6 (03:42):
Yeah exactly, and look like he's great. But yeah, it's
just like the one thing, like he's really close with
his family and I just he sees them a lot
and he's just not really ready to take that step.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
So do you know what? Do you know what birthday's
coming up? And I think you can like say.

Speaker 4 (04:01):
Hey, do you know his birthdays coming?

Speaker 2 (04:02):
Like it will come up eventually, Okay, like he's going
to you know, we don't know what's going to happen.
He may still be live in twelve months time, let's hope,
write Danielle. But when his birthday does come, you can say, hey,
you just do your thing with your family. I want
you to have fun, and then you can kind of
secretly find out you need to get into his phone,

(04:24):
find out where they're going for lunch or dinner or breakfast,
wherever it is with his family, and then you need
to then rock up.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
This is so convoluted. You give the worst advice. You're
telling her to break and enter into his phone and
then stalk him.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
Yeah, but then you can then you can meet the family.
Maybe you can watch from afar and decide if you
want to hang out with a family or not, if
they're the right family for you.

Speaker 4 (04:44):
And that's probably where you see him with.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
His other girlfriend at the family lunch. Look, I am
in all seriousness. Have you ever just asked him and said, Hey,
why can't I meet them? Or can I meet them?

Speaker 3 (04:56):
Or like?

Speaker 4 (04:57):
What's his response?

Speaker 6 (04:59):
Well, his response is that he's not quite ready to
take that step yet.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
Yeah, I think you're seeing someone else, do you know?
Okay I say that I don't want to sound like
an absolute mole, but I had the exact same thing.
I was with this guy for two years and I
finally met his family about after about eighteen months, and
he would never introduce me to them, even though we
were like locked and loaded, like we were so serious,

(05:26):
but he always made up excuses why I couldn't meet them. Oh,
they were going through some family things, or they were
having a divorce.

Speaker 4 (05:31):
So I'm not ready whatever.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
And it turns out it was just because he was
in another relationship, so like I didn't know that I
was with him for years. But the reason he was like, oh,
I can't have my world's collide.

Speaker 4 (05:43):
I need to keep them separate.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
And I'm absolutely not saying that that is what your
situation is.

Speaker 4 (05:47):
That's very rare, but it's a bit weird.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
If you're in a serious relationship and you're a year deep,
I feel like there needs to be even if it's
just a coffee, it doesn't have to be serious.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
Daniel Can I just ask before you go ideally, how
many months into a relationship would you like to meet
the family? Do you think what's the benchmark?

Speaker 6 (06:07):
Maybe like.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
Months in sure?

Speaker 4 (06:12):
Do you guys live in the same city, Like is
it actually accessible?

Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (06:15):
Yeah, we live in the same place.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
So I think we can all agree that six months
is the deadline to meet the family? Is that what
we're saying?

Speaker 3 (06:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (06:22):
I reckon, Yeah, did I just solve the case?

Speaker 1 (06:26):
No, I don't think you've solved anything, Daniela.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
You're welcome.

Speaker 4 (06:33):
I just I think Danielle, you just need to say hey,
like it's really sorry.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
Is that Danielle Danieler.

Speaker 4 (06:37):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
Oh god, I'm so sorry. Just ignore me.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
Just tell you to be really honest and say it's
important to you.

Speaker 4 (06:45):
You need to set it. You need to set it
out to me.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
Ignore me.

Speaker 4 (06:48):
She stopped listening around ten minutes ago. Good luck, I'm praying.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
Good Daniella, Danielle, whoever you are.

Speaker 4 (06:56):
Bye you.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
I don't want to stress you out here.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
Why do I feel like the next thing out of
your mouth is but I'm.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
Going to I don't know if this is true or not,
but I get my my news on social media. Look
I do, and I know I am guilty. I can't
tell what's real and what's not. But I feel like
this particular story has picked up a lot of traction.
Have you seen any reports that the rules for driving
your car are about to change? And I think it's

(07:24):
from like December ish. If you vape, if you drink,
if you eat in your car, that's going to be
in the same realm as like being on your phone,
so you will get fined, you lose demerit points. Have
you seen those articles?

Speaker 4 (07:37):
I actually have seen it.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
Are you panicked like I am?

Speaker 1 (07:40):
I it is wild to expect that you can have
someone in a car doing a long distance that isn't
allowed to drink a drink of water or a coffee,
like we have coffee cups built into the cars.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
Okay, but I do understand a little bit because there
have been times where I've been driving and eating a
burrito and those things are messy.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
No, burritos are fine. Anything you can hold in your hands, fine.
You can't be like chopping into a schnitzel, having a
three course.

Speaker 2 (08:05):
Meal Sunday roast off the car. But a packet of sure, Yeah,
I wonder if the cameras can pick up like different
types of food, like anything that's saucy.

Speaker 4 (08:14):
Do you know what? This seems wild?

Speaker 3 (08:16):
Like?

Speaker 4 (08:16):
Some people are saying that it is true. Some people
are saying there's no way they'd ever do that.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
But it would not shock me because we are such
a granny nanny state and we want to take money
every second round.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
Yet but I feel like everywhere I turn, every kind
of news outlet that I'm asking right now, I want
answers and I can't get anything. We're all stressed right now, Britt.
We just want the truth. We want one person who
can give us that answer.

Speaker 4 (08:37):
My favorite thing to do is eat and drink in
my car.

Speaker 2 (08:41):
I've actually got someone on the line right now who
can give us the answer. It's my lawyer, Jahan Kalanda.
He's on the phone right now. When I say my lawyer.

Speaker 4 (08:49):
You need an on call lawyer, Well, I actually.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
Just follow him on social media. He's very very good online.
But I've called him up right now. I don't know
if he's charging by the minute, Jahan.

Speaker 4 (08:58):
We'll keep it quick.

Speaker 3 (08:59):
Hey, look, no, no, no, it's six minute increments, so
you've got plenty of time.

Speaker 4 (09:03):
Is this a free consult for us though?

Speaker 3 (09:05):
Absolutely? Guy, Thank you for having me, Johanna.

Speaker 2 (09:09):
We are stressed out right now the reports that are
coming out that you will no longer be allowed to
eat and drink and vape in your car by the
end of the year. Is that true?

Speaker 3 (09:18):
No, they're not true. And look, I can understand the
panic that everyone has because, as you said, it's an
absolutely a nanny state, right like I refer to New
South Wales as a fine state, because they want to
find you everything you do. So I can completely understand
why people's brains have jumped through. This is the next
logical conclusion that being said, there are some rules around
eating and drinking in your car that you should be

(09:38):
aware of.

Speaker 2 (09:40):
No burritos, no three costs me off, What have we
got to?

Speaker 3 (09:43):
People have been done having cereal for example, right, And
it's about having proper control of the vehicle. So if
you're doing something that makes sure that you don't have
proper control of the vehicle, so you know you're having
a bowl of cereal, snitty steak. There was one where
there was somebody like allegedly grilling. Right, if you do
anything like that, yeah, done. It's an amazing photo because

(10:05):
it was caught by one of those seatbell cameras and
it later came out that it was a stuff. But like,
if you're doing something like that, well then yeah, there's
a good argument you don't have control of your vehicle.
But a sip of water, a delicious burrito being eaten
carefully in one hand, you should be fine.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
I imagine just like driving down the road and there's
song with a barbecue and the passenger just say that
would be wild, but you know it is true. New
South Wales is ludicrous for what we find people for.
I feel like we're on the cusp of being fined
for driving while driving.

Speaker 3 (10:37):
There's some real truth to that. Look, I've done this
for thirteen years and yeah, from time to time, right, absolutely,
the person should be punished. They're doing something bananas that
doesn't make any sense. But a lot of the time
it's like why would we find for that, Like, you know,
why can't a person have a sip of water. One
of the ones that drives me up the wall for
young people is they can't use Apple car Play or
Google car Play. They're not allowed. They're not allowed to

(10:58):
have Yeah, if you're on your p's and you're els,
you cannot use any driving aid. So what they expect
young people to do is like pull over and pull
out like a Gregories. And it just doesn't make any sense.
It doesn't line up with reality.

Speaker 4 (11:12):
I have never heard that. I did not know that
was a thing.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
But that is why he's my lawyer. He's good, he's great,
he knows everything that is.

Speaker 4 (11:18):
So let's sit on that for a second.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
It's so counterintuitive because if you are so new to
driving and you're on your piece or something, if there's
anything you need, it's the assistance of someone, like of
a maps telling you where to go, so you don't
get flustered, take wrong turns, try and overcorrect and come
back into a lane like that.

Speaker 4 (11:34):
Is insane that.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
In this day and age, we're asking a teenager or
a young person to pull over and get out a
handheld map.

Speaker 3 (11:40):
He jo. If you have one of those units that
has just navigation, you're fine. But if it links to
your phone, they go, well, you'll use your phone and
data da da da, which sure, there might be a
case of that happening, but I think the more likely
reality is they'll use it to navigate like we all do.
I'm so sorry, Mata cut you off.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
I was just going to say, I think you found
yourself and your client in brit Well done, Johann. Always
a pleasure to hear straight from the expert. We really
appreciate your time.

Speaker 3 (12:04):
Thank you for having me. Guys.

Speaker 4 (12:05):
I'm blown away. I'm very glad that we can continue
to eat mat in the well.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
I can't grill anymore.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
No, but you can still do your goosbind and go
burritos are still safe.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
Hey, Brittany, you know, being a parent it's really tough.

Speaker 4 (12:20):
I can imagine, but I just have a dog.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
It's kind of similar in a sense because it's a
thankless job. At times, it's very hard to know if
you're on the right track. And as a parent, as
a girl dad, I've got three beautiful daughters. I want
to make sure that I'm being the best that I
can be. I want to set them up for success
in life.

Speaker 4 (12:40):
That's I mean, that's a great start for sure.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
Thank you. Now. There is a podcast called The Armchair Expert.
It's hosted by DA's Shepherd. Massive celebrities go on this podcast.
They've just done an episode recently with Recent Witherspoon.

Speaker 4 (12:52):
Oh she's like my dream guest.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
She's great, isn't She's such a boss. I absolutely love her.
But she has a take on girl dads, which I
want you to listen to and tell me if you
agree or not.

Speaker 5 (13:01):
Oh, you're a girl dad, and I'm going to tell you.
I think that this is important, and I think girl
dads need to hear this. It's so so important what
you say to your daughters. Yeah, you righte on their
mind with a sharpie. It's not a dry erase board.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (13:17):
So what you give them the tools of self confidence
self worth?

Speaker 4 (13:22):
You get a lot of that from your dad. Yes,
that is correct.

Speaker 7 (13:26):
Okay, you'll be relieved to know. My mantra since I've
had them is okay, they're going to date me? Yeah,
So what am I going to be that they go
out and try to find That's right, So if they
want to talk to me, I got to drop everything
and like look in their eyes and listen to them
and like take them seriously and give them my time,
because I want whoever they're with to drop everything you

(13:47):
listen to them.

Speaker 4 (13:48):
I would agree with that.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
Okay, So do you think that in your thirties, your
self confidence and the type of men that you were
dating did that come from your dad?

Speaker 1 (13:58):
Absolutely, without doubt, onnequivocally mind even.

Speaker 2 (14:01):
The one that cheated on you like all those times.

Speaker 4 (14:03):
Well, I didn't know that at the time. I thought
he was great. I found that out at the end.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
But my so, my mom and dad had been married
for nearly fifty years and they are so in love.
I have never ever heard my dad raise his voice
to my mom.

Speaker 4 (14:18):
I've never heard him swear at my mom.

Speaker 1 (14:19):
They have the kind of relationship that if I didn't
live in it, I would have said that doesn't exist.
And of course they have their ups and downs, but
they have them in private, right, But so growing up,
I remember one of my first boyfriends, maybe I guess
I was like twenty ish. We were having an argument
and I remember him saying to me, Brittany, I'm not
your dad, Like, stop comparing me to your dad, because

(14:41):
I must have said my dad would never speak to
my mom like that, and I think I would have.

Speaker 4 (14:46):
I think I had more of an impression on me
than I ever thought. Without doubt.

Speaker 1 (14:50):
He set me up to know that healthy relationships exist
and what.

Speaker 4 (14:53):
Real love looks like.

Speaker 1 (14:54):
And I have always used that as an example of
what's out there.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
So do you think when you were looking at a
potential partner, and whether you were doing this subconsciously or not,
would you compare them against your father to see if
they were a close match or fit.

Speaker 1 (15:08):
Yeah, but not like my dad is in Like, I
don't want to date my dad. But it just shows
you what quality and what love is out there. So
I think it shows you what the respect is working
towards the same thing, not giving up when something gets hard,
because you know, fifty years they've been together, of course
things get hard. But yeah, Matt, like not to put
the pressure on you as a woman. Now that only

(15:30):
found her partner, and I think that's why it took
me so long. I found my husband at thirty five. Yeah,
and that is because I knew it was out there
and I waited and I waited, and.

Speaker 4 (15:40):
That's I blamed my dad for that. Do you feel
the pressure?

Speaker 2 (15:45):
Yeah, I guess I do. I mean there's always moments
throughout the week where I'm kind of thinking to myself,
what have I done? You know that's going to be
a core memory for my girls, because you know there's
You're always trying to be patient, You're always trying to
give good information, say the right thing, but when you're
juggling work and everything else, you get stressful and you
forget that. Your kids are sponges and they're absorbing all

(16:05):
the time. Was there any dating advice or anything that
your dad said to you about giving you confidence that
sticks out as a core memory?

Speaker 4 (16:13):
Yep, absolutely so.

Speaker 1 (16:14):
My dad always said, and this probably goes into why
I took so long to find somebody, but he always said,
if there's anything I want you to do in life,
He's like, of course, happiness, blah blah blah, be financially independent.

Speaker 4 (16:28):
They were like, go and create the life you.

Speaker 1 (16:29):
Want and make sure that if once you find a partner,
it's because you want them, not.

Speaker 4 (16:34):
Because you need them.

Speaker 7 (16:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
That, and make sure you've set yourself up enough that
if you need to leave, you can, And that was
all he ever said. He's like, never ever be dependent
on anyone financially, and that doesn't mean you're not ever
going to be able to combine your finances with someone.
But he's like, make sure if you get yourself into it,
you can still get yourself out of it.

Speaker 4 (16:51):
And I just have never forgotten that advice.

Speaker 2 (16:53):
Your dad, both your parents are amazing. But well done,
your dad and your mom. They have done such a
great job and I'm taking note.

Speaker 4 (17:00):
Yeah, take note. Don't mess it up, guys.

Speaker 7 (17:03):
That is it.

Speaker 4 (17:04):
Let's get out of here.