September 14, 2023 • 5 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's the pick up around Australia with Britt Laura and Mitcheer. Hello, Hi, welcome,
thanks to Chemists Warehouse. Rush in to Chemists Warehouse for
half priced vitamins and cosmetics. That's good teas and seas.
Apply Chemist ware House, great savings every day, Ladies. You
feel in like a bit of therapy.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Oh therapy Thursday.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
We love it.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
This is ask on Cut sections.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Let's jump in Askat.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
We do this every week on our podcast Life on
Cut podcast where you guys ride in your deepest, darkest
burning questions and we do our best to answer them.
And we have someone that's called in this week.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Beck Hi beck, I beg.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Hi, guys, I'm it's so exciting to be talking to you.
Please give me. I've got a call. I had a
call to Oh it's the worst nay voice, But I've
got a question for you. So do I change my
last name? Basically, my partner and I we've been together
for five years and we got engaged finally at the
(00:56):
start of this year, and our wedding is not too
fast around the corner. It's in February. I had told
my partner that I would absolutely change my last name.
And take his However, as we're getting closer to the wedding,
I'm getting cold feet and I'm feeling really nervous.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
About it, about the wedding or the name chan.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
More the name change because femininely child, my dad, his
sibling is. He only has a sister. So my situation
is if I take his name, like yeah, yeah, basically
it ends with me.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
So what have you spoken to your partner about not
wanting to take his name or that you are feeling
like you're having a bit of a change of heart.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
Well, no, not yet, because I think he'll be a
bit upset because I always said I would, and I
think he won't understand why I would change my name.
I did make a joke the other day about hyphenating
and he was like, wait.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
What, And I think I think a hyphen's a happy medium. Look,
the whole taking the man's name is very archaic. It
always has been. It's just it's just what society expects
of us. No one even knows why we do it anymore.
It's just what we've been told to do, so we
do it. I think trying to approach the hyphen if
nothing else, so you don't have to completely change.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
But what are you going to do in the instance
if you guys have kids, So say you do keep
your name and then you have children together, what last
name would you give the kids?
Speaker 4 (02:19):
This is this is the other thing I don't I
would assume they just have to take his name.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Well, that's the thing. Why do you have to assume? Also,
this is what I hate about this whole situation. Why
does this have to happen? I understand the patriarchy, We're
not going to destroy it in the three pm pick up,
But I just feel, what do you want to do back?
Do you want to keep your surname or not? If
it ends with you? Does that upset you?
Speaker 4 (02:40):
It kind of does. And I feel like it's so
nice that I have the same nickname as my dad
because our surname' is good Liss. What's fun to be
called Goodie?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Then keep it? Then My answer is keep it because
if that's how you feel, keep it. And you have
to have a conversation with your husband.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
It's so hard because what if you know you have
had these conversations all the way, you are obviously engaged now,
and then you worry that when you do speak to
him that he's going to react badly to it, like, well.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
It's not the right partner, even totally.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
I mean that's very easy to say though, Like you know,
and Beck is actually living this. So if you do
broach this conversation with him, do you feel that he
will just be disappointed? Do you think he's going to
want to call the wedding off? Like, what do you
think will be his level of frustration?
Speaker 4 (03:20):
I think I don't think he would call the wedding off.
I do think he would be really disappointed, and I
think I get the feeling he would take it quite personally.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
I mean, I don't know your fiance, but I would
think if he's going to pull the pin on the
wedding over you broaching this.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Then it's probably perfectly honest. He needs to and I'm
sure he's a lovely person, Beck, but he needs to
understand the nw once of why you, why it's important
to you. I'm going to end up marrying a man
one day. We're going to keep our names. Means nothing
to us, and that's only because we have the privilege
of being two men. He just needs to understand what
is actually at play here. And I think regardless of
whether or not you choose to keep your name. He
(03:56):
needs to understand why it's important if.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
You want to Beck speaking experience, I am. I got
married to my husband last year. His last name's Johnson,
and I've remained a burn and both of our little
girls have the last name Johnson Matt. When we originally
got together, he very much said that he wanted us
to have the same name in the household. He wanted
me to take his name, and I sat down and
had an honest conversation with him about how I really
(04:20):
felt attached to my name and I really wanted to
keep it, and I was so surprised by how okay
he was with it once he realized how important it
was to me, and he never pushed back. So you
may be pleasantly surprised, but I think if you're just
doing it because you don't want to disappoint him, but
it doesn't feel authentic for you, then I think it's
a really important conversation that you should.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Have, oh thanks to but actually makes me feel so
much better. I'm going to tell him. Laura said, yeah,
did you tell him?
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Laura Burn said so, no, but sorry.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
In your situation, Laura, Matt, your husband didn't change his
name to Burn. So if you want all the same
name as a family, that's where it comes to the issue.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
I don't mind. It's like we have kids. We obviously
want to have kids together, and he would want the
kids to have his name. It's just more maybe my name.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Yeah, and that was the sacrifice we made as well.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Yeah, oh no, that's really good to know. That don't
so much better.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
And if the relationship falls apart, just blame Laura Burn. Yes,
you know she's the one who pushed you in the end,
Laura Johnson.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
She doesn't exists so much.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
If you want to get in touch, you can hit
us up on the pickupsocials or the pickup dot com
dot you will get you on for an ask and cut.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Coming up, I want to tell you guys about a
very look a little bit hated a fight that I
had with my lovely husband Maddie j.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I may have doubled down.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Oh good, coming up
Speaker 1 (05:37):
All right, that's next on the pickup
It's the pick up around Australia with Britt Laura and Mitcheer. Hello, Hi, welcome,
thanks to Chemists Warehouse. Rush in to Chemists Warehouse for
half priced vitamins and cosmetics. That's good teas and seas.
Apply Chemist ware House, great savings every day, Ladies. You
feel in like a bit of therapy.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Oh therapy Thursday.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
We love it.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
This is ask on Cut sections.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Let's jump in Askat.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
We do this every week on our podcast Life on
Cut podcast where you guys ride in your deepest, darkest
burning questions and we do our best to answer them.
And we have someone that's called in this week.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Beck Hi beck, I beg.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Hi, guys, I'm it's so exciting to be talking to you.
Please give me. I've got a call. I had a
call to Oh it's the worst nay voice, But I've
got a question for you. So do I change my
last name? Basically, my partner and I we've been together
for five years and we got engaged finally at the
(00:56):
start of this year, and our wedding is not too
fast around the corner. It's in February. I had told
my partner that I would absolutely change my last name.
And take his However, as we're getting closer to the wedding,
I'm getting cold feet and I'm feeling really nervous.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
About it, about the wedding or the name chan.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
More the name change because femininely child, my dad, his
sibling is. He only has a sister. So my situation
is if I take his name, like yeah, yeah, basically
it ends with me.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
So what have you spoken to your partner about not
wanting to take his name or that you are feeling
like you're having a bit of a change of heart.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
Well, no, not yet, because I think he'll be a
bit upset because I always said I would, and I
think he won't understand why I would change my name.
I did make a joke the other day about hyphenating
and he was like, wait.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
What, And I think I think a hyphen's a happy medium. Look,
the whole taking the man's name is very archaic. It
always has been. It's just it's just what society expects
of us. No one even knows why we do it anymore.
It's just what we've been told to do, so we
do it. I think trying to approach the hyphen if
nothing else, so you don't have to completely change.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
But what are you going to do in the instance
if you guys have kids, So say you do keep
your name and then you have children together, what last
name would you give the kids?
Speaker 4 (02:19):
This is this is the other thing I don't I
would assume they just have to take his name.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Well, that's the thing. Why do you have to assume? Also,
this is what I hate about this whole situation. Why
does this have to happen? I understand the patriarchy, We're
not going to destroy it in the three pm pick up,
But I just feel, what do you want to do back?
Do you want to keep your surname or not? If
it ends with you? Does that upset you?
Speaker 4 (02:40):
It kind of does. And I feel like it's so
nice that I have the same nickname as my dad
because our surname' is good Liss. What's fun to be
called Goodie?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Then keep it? Then My answer is keep it because
if that's how you feel, keep it. And you have
to have a conversation with your husband.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
It's so hard because what if you know you have
had these conversations all the way, you are obviously engaged now,
and then you worry that when you do speak to
him that he's going to react badly to it, like, well.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
It's not the right partner, even totally.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
I mean that's very easy to say though, Like you know,
and Beck is actually living this. So if you do
broach this conversation with him, do you feel that he
will just be disappointed? Do you think he's going to
want to call the wedding off? Like, what do you
think will be his level of frustration?
Speaker 4 (03:20):
I think I don't think he would call the wedding off.
I do think he would be really disappointed, and I
think I get the feeling he would take it quite personally.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
I mean, I don't know your fiance, but I would
think if he's going to pull the pin on the
wedding over you broaching this.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Then it's probably perfectly honest. He needs to and I'm
sure he's a lovely person, Beck, but he needs to
understand the nw once of why you, why it's important
to you. I'm going to end up marrying a man
one day. We're going to keep our names. Means nothing
to us, and that's only because we have the privilege
of being two men. He just needs to understand what
is actually at play here. And I think regardless of
whether or not you choose to keep your name. He
(03:56):
needs to understand why it's important if.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
You want to Beck speaking experience, I am. I got
married to my husband last year. His last name's Johnson,
and I've remained a burn and both of our little
girls have the last name Johnson Matt. When we originally
got together, he very much said that he wanted us
to have the same name in the household. He wanted
me to take his name, and I sat down and
had an honest conversation with him about how I really
(04:20):
felt attached to my name and I really wanted to
keep it, and I was so surprised by how okay
he was with it once he realized how important it
was to me, and he never pushed back. So you
may be pleasantly surprised, but I think if you're just
doing it because you don't want to disappoint him, but
it doesn't feel authentic for you, then I think it's
a really important conversation that you should.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Have, oh thanks to but actually makes me feel so
much better. I'm going to tell him. Laura said, yeah,
did you tell him?
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Laura Burn said so, no, but sorry.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
In your situation, Laura, Matt, your husband didn't change his
name to Burn. So if you want all the same
name as a family, that's where it comes to the issue.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
I don't mind. It's like we have kids. We obviously
want to have kids together, and he would want the
kids to have his name. It's just more maybe my name.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Yeah, and that was the sacrifice we made as well.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Yeah, oh no, that's really good to know. That don't
so much better.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
And if the relationship falls apart, just blame Laura Burn. Yes,
you know she's the one who pushed you in the end,
Laura Johnson.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
She doesn't exists so much.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
If you want to get in touch, you can hit
us up on the pickupsocials or the pickup dot com
dot you will get you on for an ask and cut.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Coming up, I want to tell you guys about a
very look a little bit hated a fight that I
had with my lovely husband Maddie j.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I may have doubled down.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Oh good, coming up
Speaker 1 (05:37):
All right, that's next on the pickup
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