September 8, 2025 • 53 mins
Your breath is more powerful than you think, it’s the gateway to calming your mind, rewiring your nervous system, and unlocking deep emotional release.
In this episode, Georgie sits down with breathwork coach and holistic health practitioner Nicola Laye to uncover how conscious breathing can become your most transformative tool for healing and self-growth.
Inside, you’ll discover:
✨ The science + ancient wisdom of how breath shifts your energy and state
✨ Why the way you breathe daily could be keeping you stuck in stress or survival mode
✨ Practical techniques to release anxiety, regulate emotions, and feel grounded fast
✨ How breath can support you through massive life transitions and everyday challenges
✨ Why breathwork might just be the missing piece in your healing or spiritual practice
This isn’t just about slowing down your inhale and exhale, it’s about accessing a whole new level of clarity, calm, and connection. By the end of this conversation, you’ll see your breath as the most underrated (and free!) tool for creating lasting change.
Connect more with Nicola Laye here
Join our 7 day Breathwork challenge with Nicola here. It starts on Mon 15th September and is FREE for all paying RISE APP members.
New to manifesting? Check out our Manifesting Foundations Kit here.
Join our money mindset & energetics course 'The Abundance Academy' here.
Find the Manifestation Lab Template HERE
Join the Rise & Conquer Facebook group here.
Follow the Rise & Conquer Instagram here.
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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the
land on which this episode is being recorded, the Combomb
Merry people. They've been having conversations and telling stories on
this land for thousands of years, and we show our
gratitude and respect for their contribution to our environment and culture.
(00:21):
This is Rise and Conquer, the podcast where we strive
to become the highest version of ourselves through curious conversations,
healthy mindsets, laughter, connection, and a deep desire to evolve.
I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson. Join me as we explore parenthood, business, manifestation,
(00:46):
and so much more.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
It's positive, it's practical, and it's about putting you in
the driver's seat of your own life. Are you ready, Nikola,
Welcome to the Rise and Conker Podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
How are you? I'm so excited to be here.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
I'm so excited to have you on. You have been
in my life for quite a few years now. I
was actually thinking, I was like, I swear I've had
her on the podcast, have I? I was like, no, I,
but that's how long that you have been in my life.
So it's so incredible to have you here. For those
who don't know who you are and what you do.
(01:25):
Could you give us a brief intro your little elevator
pitch if you will.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Wow. I've been a breath practitioner now for oh, I'm
going to say, over twenty years, and a facilitator therapist
for twenty seven and I predominantly work with women, A
mom myself of two girls, and married to a my reader.
True really, and yeah, life is full. I've had a
(01:54):
full life of holding space for a lot of women
through palliative care to concept birth and all the areas
in between, helping women just adjust to life ups and downs.
And I just love everything that I do. And the
older I get, the more I'm just just fascinated by people.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, I adore you because you bring so much wisdom
and knowledge the space. Like you said, you've been practicing
for you know, twenty plus years, but you still make
it so practical and so easy to digest. It's interesting
because you know, the breath, it's something we're doing every
(02:39):
you know, a couple seconds every single day of our
whole life. It's the first thing we do when we're birthed,
we take a breath, and then it's the last thing
we do when we die, I know, And so the
breath is so important, and I feel like not many
people are conscious of when you're intentional with it, how
(03:00):
transformative it can be. Can you kind of just delve
us into why it is so transformative.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
And it's so much here, I think what I want
to say is that it's what we think about breath
is how we actually feel about emotion, our emotional selves.
And what I love about breathing is that when you
tap into its wisdom, you actually get to feel yourself.
(03:31):
It's a bit like walking into a room and turning
the light on. So if you're not thinking about your breath,
and you're just going around life not thinking about it
or not connecting to it, you're missing a huge part
of your own wisdom, a bit of yourself that you've
sort of not connecting into. And what I really love
is that when we take a conscious breath, we actually
(03:52):
get to feel ourselves. We actually actually really understand and
recognize acknowledging yourself in that moment. And when I say
to people what do you think about your breath or
what do you think about breath? They go and they
go straight to logic. But I'm like, let's close eyes
and let's feel it. And then you'll get to feel it.
So maybe just in this moment, let's just tap in
(04:15):
so that everyone gets to feel it for a minute.
So wherever you are, just close your eyes and put
your hand to wherever in your body you feel most comfortable,
and a hand to your chest, to your heart, and
just close your eyes down if that's right for you,
and take a breath into your body right now, and
(04:36):
as you're breathing in, feel your body and exhaling all
the way out. Just let yourself sink into the exhale,
and as you breathe in again, notice what's coming up
in your mind. Notice what's in your mind as you're breathing,
and as you're exhaling. Notice what your bodies actually feel
(05:00):
like right now as you're breathing, and notice as you
breathe in again, notice any sensations that are coming up
for you. And as you excel, just notice and acknowledge yourself,
and notice if you can soften a part of your body,
(05:21):
Notice if you can just relax into the body that
you live in and take a big breath in and
let yourself have a sigh out, and then just recognize
how you feel right now, and you've entered into your breath,
(05:45):
entered into relationship with yourself, a deepening, a wisdom, and
that truly is breath work in its most simplest form.
It is right. But actually what breath can be is
really scary for some people. It can feel intimidating because
(06:10):
it's kind of if you've been living in a life
where you've a bit trapped, or you're emotionally suppressed, or
something's happened to you along your life where you've held
your breath, you've clenched your breath, and then we get
to turn the light onto that. It can feel really confronting.
It can feel too much. You can start to think
I'm a bit too much, I'm feeling too many things.
(06:31):
I've got to come back into control. And so when
I tell people what I do for work and we
talk about breath, I can see people sort of wander away,
and I'm like, oh, I need to speak to those people.
Because actually, when we're born, we're born either into love
or fear, and sometimes our breath can get trapped in
(06:51):
the birth of ourselves. So in a long winded way,
when we're breathing, our nervous system remembers who we are.
We can't pretend there's no mask when you're in your breath,
when you're connecting to it. So day to day, yeah,
you can be completely unconscious of this breath keeps you here.
(07:12):
But that's a magic, right, So that when you tap
into the slowness of yourself, you're actually tapping into your magic,
your wisdom, and you can notice whether you're running on empty,
pushing forcing, squeezing yourself, or if you're really like this
is this is magical and actually that's abundance, isn't it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
I love that explanation, and it's so true. I think
so many of us are so unconscious of how we're
actually feeling and how to tap into how we're feeling.
And that's such a simple way to like check in.
Because even when I did that just then, I was like, oh,
I'm probably running a bit of adrenaline just from like
(07:55):
getting ready in the morning, getting ivy ready, having breakfast
didn't finish my BA breakfast, getting here, and those sorts
of things, And I could feel myself probably being in
that like the fight or flight where you're going and going,
and so I was probably in that even though when
you saw me, I look fine, I look calm, collected,
(08:16):
like I look, you know, I probably felt fine, but
it's like when I actually checked in, I was probably
running on a bit of survival. And then I know,
when we are in that survival mode and you know,
we can't digest, we can't you know, think straight sometimes
and all those things. And it's interesting because I wonder
(08:36):
how many people, you know, myself included, are constantly during
the day running on that survival, you know, and not
taking a proper breath, not feeling into how they feel,
and then like what sort of consequences would be.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
Because of that completely And I am not like I
am that person too. I have to breathe actually, because
I don't come from a a I don't come from
a place of love and safety. I came from a
place of I've got to survive. I've got to please
people to feel love. So my breath has always been
in that agitation of you know, you know, keep going,
(09:16):
keep up, you know, keep pretending. And so when you
do the work on yourself with the breathing, it actually
reminds you that actually I am okay, I can slow down.
I don't need to be in control. Yeah, And so
it doesn't need to be these really big cathartic breaths
to get to that magic of yourself. It can be
(09:36):
just like that, like we've just done. Now where you go, Actually,
how do I want to feel today as I'm softening
as I'm breathing. Do I want to feel more relaxed?
Do I want to feel more present? And I think
that's what well, I don't think That's what breath work
actually does. Is it brings you from unconscious to conscious
than to present, to being right here, right now. And
(09:59):
when you stay that and you keep reminding yourself in
your breath during the day, how can I bring myself
right back to this moment? Just taking that breath will
actually do that. And then you have a choice whether
you let your nervous system still run you into crazy yeah,
or oh I get a choice. I can breathe and
decide whether I want to take a moment, or I
(10:20):
can do some more focus work, or I can stay
really present with my child rather than feeling like I'm
a loose cannon, which as moms that happens. So, yeah,
that's what breath work does. It helps you to tap
into that parasympathetic nervous system out of fighting flight interest
and digest.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
And if you have got a wide nervous system, it's
okay because the more you practice, the more that you
create safety in your body and you come out of
control to being really consciously softening.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Yeah, and you can come into more focus and conscious
being more conscious when you're out of being unconscious and
have that awareness, like you said before, rather than like
your nervous system running the show, you can start being like, no,
I don't actually have to feel anxiety or stress about this.
(11:16):
And I think that's that's my favorite thing about breath.
And I use breath a lot, Like sometimes I will
be like and then I've got to do this, and
then I've got to do this, and they'll go here,
and then like I'll sit and breathe and I'll be like,
hang on a second, I now know what's important, and
it's like it's clarity. Yeah, I get so much clarity
from breath. I didn't love to talk to you because
(11:38):
obviously there's very gentle breath. I've done a pregnancy breath
work with you when I was pregnant with Ivy. I
recently did a pregnancy breath work at a retreat and
it was gentle breath and I still had such a
like full got visuals, full you know, processed trauma, that
sort of thing. So there's you know, the gentle breath,
(12:01):
there's just like the every day the checking in, and
then we go right to you know, releasing trauma. Can
you kind of tell us the difference and your experience
with using both.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
I love this. I mean, I think nowadays you look
at what Instagram or socials are telling you about what
breath work is. And I'm not going to go down
this road for too long, but I think people have
a misconception about what breathwork can be. For a start,
breathwork isn't meant to be forcing a release of trauma.
(12:39):
It's meant to gently nurture so that the body is
ready to let go. And when you're breathing and you're
feeling safe, your body will naturally want to release. But
when you're chasing that release, you're chasing and breathing deeply
and fast. What you're doing is activating the release of
the trauma. But then there's no sustainability for it to
(13:01):
be gone. It will just come straight back in and
often comes back in with more, more agitation, more fear
so it's very important that you understand what you're going
into when you're trying to do a breath work. That's
a deeper process. So with conscious breathing, what I like
to think about it is there's kind of a tone
(13:23):
of masculine feminine, and I'm sure you know the difference
of that. So what I've noticed over the last twenty
years is that we can be in that push like
wim Hoffee type breath where we're activating inhale xl really
really fast, and it can feel a lot. Your whole
body can go into this really big, deep visceral feeling
(13:43):
of you know, they call it technique where your hands
go into chloring and you can get this feeling right
through your body, some people having like an exorcism. Yeah right.
And I've definitely had many moments of putting myself into
that position on purpose because I want to, and I've
been into held spaces where I've been into that is
that great, not necessarily like it's great, it's a great feeling.
(14:07):
You feel really good afterwards. The afterpart is what's really
important with that, the integration of the practitioner that's holding
that space for you. That integration is as important as
a breath. So it's having those two sides and knowing
how you feel afterwards, and knowing how to keep grounding
yourself after you've been in experience, and how to bring
yourself back into your body, because when you breathe like that,
(14:29):
it's kind of like you've gone somewhere else for a
moment and your body's releasing and then all of a sudden, oh,
I'm back in again. But I don't feel comfortable with this.
So when I'm leading a breath work now, and having
worked with women now for such a long time, I
realize that what most women need, and what most humans need,
is heart opening experience where it's gentle but more powerful,
(14:54):
because when you're leading from the hard, you're actually leading
all of yourself into this safe place where your body remembers.
It remembers womb experiences, it remembers life, why you're here,
your purpose, and there's a wisdom that ripples through. And
it's not just your trauma, but we hold that genetic
that generational trauma as well of grandmothers, grand you know
(15:18):
all of the line. And so when you're releasing your
bodies remembering, and it's kind of an opportunity to come
back into your heart. So for me, what is quite
interesting is that a lot of women, because we're in
this life now where we're fast paced, well, we're trying
to be just the same as the man, you know, busy, busy,
doing doing right, and it has its advantages, but for
(15:41):
a woman it's kind of we've forgotten how to lead
from the heart. So I will often take women into
the fast breath for a couple of rounds so that
I'm showing them where they're at, this is where you're
living right now, and then dropping you into your heart
led afterwards where they really do release, but with that
(16:02):
sort of feeling of I'm coming from my heart. I'm
coming back to remembering who I am and coming back
to I am here for a reason, And it kind
of the ego leaves and as you come out of
the breath, you remember that I'm amazing, and you're coming
back to loving yourself again. You're not looking for it externally,
(16:25):
you're actually remembering that I am actually loved. I'm safe.
And when you come out from having a safe lead
feeling in your body, that sustainability and then that integration
afterwards feels beautiful. It feels exciting. It feels like you've
just opened your eyes to the world. And actually what
(16:46):
comes from that is this deep intuition. And then from
that intuition, as you know, because you talk about this
so much, anything is possible.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
I know, when you trust yourself, it's like you feel
so low. Yeah that's beautiful.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
And I'm so glad you touched on this because I
have had experiences with both sides. I for example, and
this is I love that you touched on the integration
piece because when I have done a very like the
whim Hoff, like the very masculine breath, it was with
a practitioner who I had been working with for six
(17:23):
months prior, with a lot of other you know, different
tools if t tapping and eating and artea and those
sorts of things. He was like mind body coach. And
then it was only then that I got to a
certain point that he's like, Okay, now we're going to
do releasing breath work. It wasn't just like random, if
that makes sense, like completely, it was very intentional and
(17:45):
it was so transformative and I had a very youthoric
experience and it was great. And then I continued to
work with him, and I remember even being like, are
we going to do a breath work again and he
was like, no, relax, and we did. We didn't do
one again, beca because he's like, no, it's not something
you just do you know, every day, and that because
it's so much on your native system and your body,
(18:08):
and it does. It puts you into it puts you
into fight and flight doesn't have that breath yeah, And
so that's my experience with that. But it did have
a really great release. It was very transformative and very
euphoric where I was like, wow, it feels like I'm
a drux or something, and you know, you're just tapping
in it to yourself, which really I love that of
(18:30):
the side of like we really we don't need substances,
We don't we don't need anything like that. We can
tap into, you know, those different dimensions within ourselves, which
is just incredible. And then I've had another experience, so
obviously when we did the breath together, which was amazing,
so gentle and nurturing. I remember I was kind of
(18:50):
falling asleep. You were you were like wake up, but
like it felt it felt really really good. And then
also remember when you pasted our rebirth, and you did
such a beautiful breath with a whole bunch of postpardoned
women and I could see, you know, they were crying,
(19:13):
they were releasing, but it was so again, so gentle
and so beautiful. And I actually just came back from
a retreat where the other people there were doing the
more masculine breath, but obviously, being pregnant, nothing I can do,
and so they just said, oh, you know, just breathe
in for five, breathe out for five. And because I've
(19:35):
done a lot of my own meditations and visualization, I
kind of took myself on my own journey. I love that,
and it was so I just did a very simple breath,
not even really being guided. And if I can be
very vulnerable and roll with you guys with this pregnancy,
I'm probably going to have to go on bed rest.
(19:55):
So we're recording before this episode comes out, obviously, and
I have a lot of anxiety around leaving Ivy, of course,
and it's hopefully going to only be you know, a
couple of weeks max, which is great because they did
think it was going to be a lot longer. So
it is a like it's a positive but the thought
(20:16):
of like not being with Ivy every night, especially before
such a big transformation, I really was like feeling quite
anxious about it, and especially because you know, my husband's
stay at home dad, and so usually Ivy's very attached
to him. And so when people are like, oh, how
you think Ivy is going to go with the transition
the whole pregnancy, I was like, She'll be fine, like
(20:37):
because Tim's still there, I'll have the newborn. But it's crazy,
I reckon the last like two or three months, she's
been so attached to me to the point where she
doesn't want him to, you know, get her out of
the car. She wants me and she wants me to
put her in bed, and it's beautiful and it's lovely,
and I honestly just think it's just because I've softened
so much in this pregnancy.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
I can see that, and she just loves it.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
And I'm like really turning on the maternal you know, energy,
and so then that I was like, oh my god,
and now I'm going to go for two weeks and
then I'm going to come home with a newbornet. It
was really making me feel emotional, but I probably was
suppressing it like I don't think I spoke to anyone.
I just thought to my mind and then push it
away because I don't want to feel it because it's
(21:22):
you know, painful. And during this really gentle breath, I
had such a beautiful experience where Ivy you know, kind
of came to me. And I also didn't realize, but
I hold a lot of guilt around going back to
work so quickly after Ivy. And it's not so much
(21:44):
that that was a bad thing or even that I
won't you know, do it again, but how I personally
felt in the moment was I wasn't dealing well with postpartum,
and so I used work as a distraction. And so
even though she was so loved and you know, she
had tim and all the things, there's definitely I was
(22:07):
suppressing guilt there because I knew how I felt and
it wasn't you know, fully clean.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
It was like I get it.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
I was, you know, dealing with a lot and so
in this yeah, brute, beautiful breath work, like I just
had this moment where I became to me and she
was like, Mommy, it's okay, Like, don't you don't have
to feel guilt or shame or anything. I got exactly
what I needed and also that needed to happen because
(22:36):
my little sister is really going to need you. And
it was so beautiful obviously, like so emotional, and because
she is she's like she's a sagittariu. She's so independent
and detainment and like she really can hold her own
and so it's it's really see, it's almost like I
(22:56):
had to go through that experience with her two soft
and to realize that I want to be different and
I want to have different and this baby will get
and sorry, that's what it was. I felt guilty because
I know this baby is going to get such a
different version of me, and I feel really bad for
Ivy because I can see how much she likes this
(23:17):
version of me. And so I was having all these
emotions and it was really beautiful because yeah, Ivy was
like mom, no, like this is it's all perfect, Like
don't feel guilt, don't feel shame, like I forgive you,
like I'm having this I know.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Like it was.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Beautiful and it was exactly what I needed, and it
was again it's still euphoric, but it was so gentle,
and after I can really sit and journal and integrate,
you know what I mean. It didn't feel like I
was like on this hiahuasca troop or something. It was
(23:58):
very heart opening and it like it was really really
beautiful and transformational and it's not something you can kind
of get any other way.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
No, No, I think that's such a beautiful thing that
you just tapped into. There. There's a transition when we're
going from a mother to mother again, and I actually
think it's the biggest transition a mother will go through
because everyone gets ready for that first baby. The first
baby's here to teach you. It's like a mirror version
(24:29):
of everything that you've got to learn about how to
parent yourself as you become a parent, because we don't
have it all worked out. No one knows how to parent.
And I get that mother's guilt of going back to work.
I did it with my second baby, not my first.
But I think what you did there having that experience
was a transitional moment of getting ready and the grief
(24:52):
we don't talk about the grief of, you know, going
into motherhood for the second time, the grief of letting
go of it just be the three of you now
to moving into the four of you it's a huge
transition and it comes with its own its own just release,
its own acceptance.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Yeah, because it's both seasons beautiful. But again, like as humans,
we love comfort, we love to know what's going to happen. Yes,
And so when you are entering a season of the unknown,
of course there's going to be you know, feelings that
come up. And so if you're not feeling them, if
(25:31):
you're not you know, having those gentle releases. I just
know because I was a very suppressed child and teenager
and it came out of very funky, interesting ways that
I had to do a lot of you know, work
and release on. And so what's so beautiful about yeah,
(25:52):
gentle breath is it is something you can like integrate
in your everyday life. But it's releasing all these not
that this transition is little obviously behind, Yeah, but it's
about constantly releasing, constantly feeling these emotions. So again you
can be in control. They're not controlling you.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
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Speaker 2 (27:23):
The show notes.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
And I think I love that those little releases, it's
almost a contractual before your contraction start, or it's like
these mini moments of just releasing before you get ready
for your next so that you can be a mother.
You know, we often think, how can I love another
child just the same as this one? Yeah, And that's
(27:47):
why it's so important to come into that heart state
so that your heart is fully open and ready, because
it's just enormous, like the feeling that you get, like
my gosh, I've got enough room to love another child
just the same, if not more. And actually Ivy will
feel all of your love because she also gets to,
(28:07):
you know, move into her new role which she's so
ready for, isn't she. Yes.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Yeah, We've been really like communicating and talking to her
about her so I feel like she is.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
So how else do you use the breath, especially with
women and like postpartum and motherhood, because I know that's
something you specialize in.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
Yeah, it's my actual passion is to work with women
getting ready for birth and infertility too, because I know
that's been a big journey for you as well. Is
you know, it's all heart centered. You know, creating a
child or wanting to create a child is all about
co creation and the creation in your body, and it's
(28:51):
believing in yourself. It really is. And I think that's
what I love the most about working with women in
that stage of life, is you not just you, but
with your partner as well, because you don't do it
just yourself, and it's your relationship and it coming from
a heart space, real depth of your relationship together as
(29:11):
you go into that co creation. It's the fear, Yeah,
it's the fear. It's working on it because often people go, oh,
you know, I know I've got fear, but it's okay,
I'll be okay, and you're like, no, no, let's tap
into fear. Because that's really what I love about my
work the most is I get people to understand that
(29:32):
fear isn't going to just go away. But what if
fear was what off on the other side of fear
was possibility? What if it was actually something a bit magical.
But because we're so scared of what that fear is,
we don't even even attempt to look at it because
we'd just rather go, oh, that's the elephant in the room.
I don't want to deal with that. But when you're birthing,
(29:54):
it is right up front and center, and it can
take a woman into not conceiving because it's so there
that you just you know how you hear women go
off have a holiday and then they fall pregnant after
doing three rounds of IVF and that's because they've kind
of just gone, we're going to forget about it, We're
just going to relax and we're actually coming together for
(30:16):
creation of just being in love. And that can often
be the case. And then when you're in pregnancy, everybody's
telling you all their fears about this is how I birth?
This is So it's there's so many moments of women
having this fear put on them and it being in
the room, and they don't know what to deal with,
how to deal with that. So when I'm using the breath,
(30:38):
it's more than just breath. It's just remembering. It's remembering.
So I'll say to a woman, what you know birth?
What do you think? And they're like, and I'll ask
them that same question ten times, like birth, what do
you actually think about birth? And it's like what's under
the rock, like what's behind the curtains? And when you
(31:00):
ask somebody that, they're kind of, oh, I'm uncomfortable because
what's happening is your body's remembering. Actually, I find birth
quite scary or I feel a bit terrified when I
think about it, or I feel love or I feel
you know. So when I'm asking that question, even to myself,
I'll still remember my own birth in a way with
it subconsciously. So when you come and you bring the
(31:22):
breath into that question, we get to tap into what
if On the end the other side of this fear
that I'm feeling, there is joy and openness and oneness
and nature and what if actually it's exciting and what
if it's magical? And so what we do is when
we're breathing in all these moments, no matter what your
(31:45):
outcome of what you want your birth to be, if
you can meet your fear and send it love and
like almost hug it and know that you're safe, there
is so much openness there. And also we forget that
our babies are being educated in the womb through our
nervous system, so true in the birth itself, and when
(32:08):
a baby is born into the world they feel love
or fear, they've already got a nervous system already set
preset by the mother. You know how she's feeling. And
if you're hearing this, you're thinking, oh my god, I
was a crazy mess with my regnency. I want you
to know that I totally get it because I've had
my own experiences of being a bit terrified because of
(32:31):
my own life experience that you know, we can change it.
Because when a baby is born and they're greeted and
they're loved, deeply loved and received, it is a life
changing experience for that baby. Their baby can be born
with this agency of I'm here you know, here I am.
(32:52):
And you look at Ivy and she's got agency, right
because she's loved. Yeah, Actually, her nervous system knows that
she has loved.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
She's safe, yeah, yeah, because.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
You and Tim have brought that to her. And so
it's that's what I do. That is what it is,
whether you bring the breath into it or not, it's
bringing that self inquiry, understanding what drives your fear and
maybe making it a bit more magical. And when it
does come up in birth, and it does, without the doubt,
it's the biggest thing in the room. It's not just
(33:26):
your fear, but it's the midwives, the caregivers, your partner.
If you don't feel safe in the room that you're
birthing in, your baby will feel it. So we have
to create advocacy, and we have to understand who's going
to be in the room with us, and we have
to understand who's looking after us, because we can't do
(33:47):
that by ourselves. So it's so beautiful. And when you
breathe and you close your eyes and you drop into
that breath, you're bringing your own self into it, your
own safe Your own nervous system gets to feel alive.
You can't come into parasympathetic nervous system when you're birthing
(34:07):
because you're having an emotional life experience, right, So when
you hear all just you have to breathe through your
nose in birth, and I'm like, bullshit, We're having an emotional,
a huge life experience here and when we can feel
excited about it, whatever the outcome is when we go
to feel this beautiful baby in our arms and everyone
(34:30):
else gets to rejoice with you that baby feels that
in the room, It really truly does. So you know,
we have these situations where I do like a road
map of what birth and the outcomes of birth look like.
So you know, we all want our baby here safe,
but some people just want to only talk about it
being a vaginal, natural birth and I'm like, but what else?
(34:53):
What are all these other things? You know? So that's
the kind of work that I do with pregnancy is
helping you to understand that you're breath in the moments
of birthing, in the moments of pregnancy matter, and that
your nervous system is completely in co creation with your baby,
and how you feel about life is actually what you
(35:14):
think about birth.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Interesting yeah, I love that.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Yeah. And what you think about your breath is what
you think about your emotional self. So when we're in
a birth and breath experience, we're in an emotional life
experience and we forget that. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Wow, that's so powerful. Never thought of it that way.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
Yeah, So it's actually magic, pure magic, having a baby
in the world.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
Yeah. And what I love as well is that that
work doesn't just forget, doesn't just end at birth. When
you have an unsettled baby, especially for ug on the
other side, you just get the lights down, dark room,
put your baby on your chest, I need just breathe, yea,
and they come back into that nervous system regulation because
(36:05):
mum's regulated. Yeah, and that's really magic.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
I've noticed such a big difference with because Ivy is you.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
Know, three and a half. Oh yeah, you're in the teenagers.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Yeah, three ages. And when I noticed, like, you know,
if I've been a bit stressed at work and I've
been running on well, you know, autopilot, She'll do something
and I'll snap back at her, and she snaps right back,
like she mirrors my nervous system and my reactions. And
(36:36):
so I've been really good at catching myself and being like, okay,
this is because also she's very determined and strong, so
it's like she'll just keep coming back. There's no she's
a youth, yeah, because it's me and I think, okay,
good to know. And so I literally I think I
did it like maybe two mornings ago, and she was
(36:57):
really hysterical about the way I was doing hair. Yeah,
and you know it was she was having a full
melt down and I just had to like stand up
like she was facing a TV so she couldn't see me,
and I literally just just like like just really calm myself.
And then after you know, five breaths, I like got
on her level and I was like really soft voice
(37:20):
communicated to her and I was able to regulate myself.
And as soon as I did that, she you know
responded in the same way. And then we did her
hair and then she even after was like, I'm so
sorry for yelling at your mummy. Wow, I know so,
and because like we're big on like not making her
(37:43):
apologize but just like yeah, owning it, and so she
said I'm so sorry. I said, it's okay. You would
just you know, you're feeling a bit frustrated mamma gets
frustrated too. I'm sorry for you know, reacting that way
to you, and you know, and she literally like hugged
me and started crying and she was like, I just
(38:03):
love you so much. And I was like, oh my god.
But I really think back to probably Georgie, who didn't
have as a regulated nervous system, and I would have
missed so many moments of that. Yeah, And that's like,
that's such a simple breath moment. That's not even you know,
a ritual practice, right, And that's how much it can
(38:25):
change your life. That's how much it can be magic.
Because yeah, so important when you have kids, but also
so important for yourself because that was such a beautiful
reparenting moment because I probably my mum was amazing and
so maternal, but she also had four kids took after
and a household to run, and you know, it probably
(38:48):
didn't you know, get that. It was just I can't,
I can't deal with you kind of thing, especially because
I was such a strong willed child, which is great.
You know, He's got me here, and so yeah, I'm
having such beautiful, like reparenting moments too, and it's just yeah,
dropping back into the breath. Yeah, so how can you know?
(39:11):
Maybe someone's not a mother, they're not Popparton, they you know,
don't have a children, but like, how is the breath
going to help them? And you know, maybe they're also a.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
Little bit scared of breath work totally.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
They've seen the videos and the cramping up and they're like, oh.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
That's not for absolutely not. I think what I love
I love this question because I think that it can
be so simple. Yeah, so simple. I think the best
way to start thinking about breathing is to just you know,
acknowledge it. And most people and this is the science
behind it actually is that there's about I think it's
(39:47):
about I'm going to go into the ninety percent of
people can't breathe properly. Wow, it's a real problem because
we're you know, adapting to being in flex forward with
our looking at our phone or on our devices, and
really it's really hard with our postures to get good
breath and we forget that the lungs are a huge
(40:09):
part of our toolso and so if we're only sipping
up the top part of the lobes of our lungs,
how are we going to even And that's actually telling
your body. I'm not feeling great. So I would say
the first thing to do is just to start. When
you're in the car and you're driving and you get
to a red light, use that as a practice to go.
What if I was to breathe into my back against
(40:29):
the seat, that feels good. What if I was to
breathe a little bit into the size of my ribs,
that feels good, and just start there. Because what happens
is when you go to yoga, people go, oh, breathe
into your belly. Well, you don't have a diaphragm deep
in your belly. It's a bit up from there. And
(40:50):
the diaphragm is one of the biggest muscles that you
know makes breath happen. Some people say belly breathing, it's
actually incorrect. You need to go a little bit above
the the bather belly button. And when you're pregnant, obviously
you don't have your diaphragms not really there. It's kind
of pushed back.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
Everything's scratched.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
So I think what I would say is start putting
into little practices of hmm, what if I was just
to find a little breath practice of doing three breaths
every day and trying to think when I'm in the gym,
before I start the gym, what if I stand in
the mirror with one of those resistance bands, put it
around my diaphragm and try and practice bringing the breath
(41:31):
a bit deeper into my body. I might start to
actually like my breath again. And it doesn't need to
be scary connecting to your breath. What it does is
actually start if you pop it to a habit that
you're already doing, you start to notice, actually, I'm really
liking breathing on purpose a bit more. And then when
you start pulling in that practice, when you're doing a
(41:52):
meditation and they ask you breathe, you go, actually, I
really enjoy this. Now that's the first parts I think
of bringing a practic this in. You doesn't need to
be laying on the ground doing these really massive experiences
that is by choice, and that should be led by
people you feel most safe with, like you had that experience.
(42:12):
And I think if you have had a bad experience
with breathing, go to a practitioner that has got, you know, qualifications,
They've got time on their side, They've not been doing
it for five minutes. Yeah, and maybe don't go to
a room where there's two hundred people. Yeah, you know,
just saying, Or don't be in a place where you're
(42:33):
going to feel like you're analyzing yourself and judging yourself.
Your breath is going to be so hard to find.
So I think just starting off simple, just doing simple
breath techniques. Even box breathing can feel a lot. Sometimes
people can't even breathe in for more than a couple
of seconds. I always think to think it like an
(42:55):
elevator rather than a box. You breathe in from the
deep part out of yourself and up, and then you hold,
and then you breathe all the way out and hold
at the bottom, and just try and do that a
little bit. That could be as beautiful as doing a
big breath if you've had a lot going on for
your life, and then just start building that practice, doing
(43:15):
some breathing meditations, start just trying to encompass it into
your life. But when you're at the traffic lights or
any time that you've got a couple of moments where
you're just pausing, just drop into a breath. And then
the other time as well, is if you're feeling exhausted,
do a little sequence of a few breaths to try
(43:36):
and get your energy back. That can be amazing. I mean,
the breath doesn't need to be meditative. It can also
be uplifting. It can be energizing when you're feeling anger
and really no one talks about that, but women have
got this anger that's inside of them. Are quite a
lot of women do. And when you're feeling it and
you're suppressing, it's actually not good for you, So use
(43:56):
your breath to let it out, you know. And then
we also forget that actually laughing and crying is a
form of breathing, you know, a different way of releasing.
So we're always activating through our breath. But if we're
not breathing very well, that's just start point, really is
just to start thinking how am I actually breathing? If
(44:16):
it's not very good, my body's already in an anxious state.
So that's a really good point to start.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
And so like introducing these you know, very small rituals
and routines with breath, can someone expect to feel different? Yes?
Speaker 3 (44:32):
Yeah, instantly, instantly. I mean, all right, let's do it now.
So sitting up really tall wherever you are, and please
don't close your eyes if you're listening to this driving
because it's pretty dangerous, and just think about growing taol
through your tolso and just take a breath in and
we're coming back to it against you can feel it,
(44:53):
So breathing through your nose and don't correct it, and
then exhale all the way out. Now, take your hand
to your chest, and your hand to your diaphragm, which
is just just above your belly button, and you'll feel it.
If you push in, you'll find your floating ribs at
the bottom and there's a little arch and that's your diaphragm.
So I want you to think about where your hand
(45:15):
is most moving when you breathe in. So breathe in
and as you excel, just notice what is moving in
your body. Is it more through your shoulders or is
it more in your tummy area. If you're breathing in
your shoulders and moving up and down, you're only using
the very top lobes of your lungs. Now, don't feel
(45:37):
likely doing something wrong. This is just the start of
changing your breath. How about if you were to take
your hands now to the sides of your ribs. Now, Gee,
you're not going to do it because you're pregnant. But
you can breathe into your back. So if you take
your hands to the side of your ribs and close
your eyes and see if you can get your ribs
to move where your hands are. So let's breathe in together.
(46:01):
See if you can make them expand and then exhale
all the way out, breathing into the sides of your ribs,
or even into your back on the seat, exhaling all
the way out. See what's happening. And what's happening when
we start to change that breath for you is that
(46:24):
you are now breathing a little different, a little better.
And it takes practice. And that's where we're not doing
the practice. We think that I'll just that little breath
in and breath out through the top loads of my lungs,
that will be good enough. But when we start to
expand into the fullness of the lobes of our lungs,
(46:45):
the front, the back, the sides, we have a full torso.
And when we're expanding our ribs into that torso, we
are actually using all of the energy in our body.
And it's so amazing. When you start changing the breath
your body feels better. Ailments in your body starts to change,
(47:06):
which is so crazy. Neck pain starts to dissipate. Back
pain changes, your digestion changes, your nervous system changes, everything
changes when we're breathing better. So I think that's really
where I see most people need to start is changing
how they're breathing. And then once you change that, you
(47:29):
start feeling better. You even go to the toilet differently,
You even change where your pervict floor activates. Because the
pervic floor is another diaphragm of the body. So when
we're using our actual diaphragm, our perfect floor changes, so
it all connects the whole body.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
That's yeah, it's just extraordinary. Yeah, thank you so much
for taking us through that. I hope that was insightful.
It was bel not very relaxed. Perfect for my next podcast.
And I'm so excited because you are going to come
on our beautiful Rise app and do a seven day
(48:08):
challenge for the Rise community. Yes, we are so grateful
to have you on there. Like I said, I have
been doing your work for years and years and years,
so to share you with my very very special community
is so exciting.
Speaker 3 (48:22):
I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (48:23):
Could you tell the Rice community. If they're joining us
for the seven day challenge, what they can expect. What's
your intention for this challenge for them? Yes, I yeah,
I'd love to know.
Speaker 3 (48:35):
I think bringing to the basics is where we'll start,
and then we'll start doing a breath for different things,
different ranges of each day, you know, different emotions. Maybe
even rather than pick up that coffee or chocolate at
the end of like the afternoon, we might do a
breath into that. Breathing for going to sleep, yeah, because
(48:56):
a lot of people, Yeah, a lot of people find
going to sleep really difficult. Breathing instead of scrolling on
your phone. Yeah, you know, there's so many things. I'm
going to give you, so many different breaths that will
help you go after seven days. I love breathing. I
want to take you from going oh yeah, it's that
kind of woo woo thing to wow, this is actually
(49:17):
something in my body that feels good. Yeah, And it
will help you to feel more focused, more present, and open,
really open to possibility. And that's what I'm going to
take you through on seven days of going from unconscious
to conscious and then from conscious too. Excited.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
Yeah, yeah, I'm so excited and that's like, so what
you know, you know my mission and what I preach
is you have everything you need to have your dream life,
to feel peace, to feel happiness, to feel all the
things that you want to feel, the feelings, the emotions,
(49:59):
that dream reality you want to have. You literally have
everything inside you right now to make that happen. And
breath is such a huge part of that because I
feel like so many of us will be wanting this
external Like I said, like it's I need to take
this and I need this, and I need to have
my coffee and I need to and we really don't
(50:21):
need anything. We just need ourselves. And when we're tapping
into these tools that we literally we don't need to
pay for, we don't need any anything for that's where
things get magical because you become unlimitless.
Speaker 3 (50:37):
You believe in yourself. Yeah, and you get to choose.
And that's one of my things I have post it
notes everywhere is I choose me and when I breathe,
I'm choosing to breathe with that consciousness of I get
to do this. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:52):
Yeah, thank you so much, Nikoa. It has just been
so great to have you on the podcast and have
this discussion chat. Like I said, I think a lot
of people have a misunderstanding about breath work and even
think it's too woo woo, it's too much, it looks
too hectic, and it's really really not the case, and
(51:14):
it can be something that you can do so gentle,
so easy, every single day to really create, like you said,
this magical version of yourself. So guys, I'm so excited.
We will put all the details in the show notes
for Nicholas's challenge in the Rise app. And also we
wanted to make it just seven days because I wanted
(51:35):
it to be super doable and digestible and easy. But
I guarantee you you'll do the seven days, and you'll
want to just keep doing the seven days, or you'll
pick your favorite and you'll, you know, make it such
a practice and ritual. But honestly, just commit to the
seven days and see how much your emotions change, See
(51:56):
how much you feel different in your body, how you
you no longer feel so much anxiety and fear, and
you know, really that feeling of like wow, I can
be and do anything, and.
Speaker 3 (52:10):
That's so powerful, so powerful.
Speaker 2 (52:14):
Well, thank you so much. Could you let everyone know
where they can find you where they can get all
your beautiful tools.
Speaker 3 (52:22):
I am predominantly on Instagram, so it's Nicola Underscore l
Laye and I'm always popping in there with some wisdom
or something to share, so that's where I am predominantlyz
Come find me on there, amazing. We will link everything
of the show notes. Thank you so much, Nicola, thank you.
Speaker 1 (52:39):
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of
the Rise and Conquer podcast. If you enjoyed it and
want more, connect with us via Instagram or continue the
conversation on our beautiful Facebook community page. All the details
are in the show notes, and I'd love to hear
more about your journey. Also, we're an independent podcast with.
Speaker 2 (52:59):
A small I'm all but mighty team, so we really
do appreciate your support. If you have a spare moment,
please click the follow or subscribe button to the podcast,
and if you leave a review, you'll help other people
find our content and we would be so grateful
I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the
land on which this episode is being recorded, the Combomb
Merry people. They've been having conversations and telling stories on
this land for thousands of years, and we show our
gratitude and respect for their contribution to our environment and culture.
(00:21):
This is Rise and Conquer, the podcast where we strive
to become the highest version of ourselves through curious conversations,
healthy mindsets, laughter, connection, and a deep desire to evolve.
I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson. Join me as we explore parenthood, business, manifestation,
(00:46):
and so much more.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
It's positive, it's practical, and it's about putting you in
the driver's seat of your own life. Are you ready, Nikola,
Welcome to the Rise and Conker Podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
How are you? I'm so excited to be here.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
I'm so excited to have you on. You have been
in my life for quite a few years now. I
was actually thinking, I was like, I swear I've had
her on the podcast, have I? I was like, no, I,
but that's how long that you have been in my life.
So it's so incredible to have you here. For those
who don't know who you are and what you do.
(01:25):
Could you give us a brief intro your little elevator
pitch if you will.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Wow. I've been a breath practitioner now for oh, I'm
going to say, over twenty years, and a facilitator therapist
for twenty seven and I predominantly work with women, A
mom myself of two girls, and married to a my reader.
True really, and yeah, life is full. I've had a
(01:54):
full life of holding space for a lot of women
through palliative care to concept birth and all the areas
in between, helping women just adjust to life ups and downs.
And I just love everything that I do. And the
older I get, the more I'm just just fascinated by people.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, I adore you because you bring so much wisdom
and knowledge the space. Like you said, you've been practicing
for you know, twenty plus years, but you still make
it so practical and so easy to digest. It's interesting
because you know, the breath, it's something we're doing every
(02:39):
you know, a couple seconds every single day of our
whole life. It's the first thing we do when we're birthed,
we take a breath, and then it's the last thing
we do when we die, I know, And so the
breath is so important, and I feel like not many
people are conscious of when you're intentional with it, how
(03:00):
transformative it can be. Can you kind of just delve
us into why it is so transformative.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
And it's so much here, I think what I want
to say is that it's what we think about breath
is how we actually feel about emotion, our emotional selves.
And what I love about breathing is that when you
tap into its wisdom, you actually get to feel yourself.
(03:31):
It's a bit like walking into a room and turning
the light on. So if you're not thinking about your breath,
and you're just going around life not thinking about it
or not connecting to it, you're missing a huge part
of your own wisdom, a bit of yourself that you've
sort of not connecting into. And what I really love
is that when we take a conscious breath, we actually
(03:52):
get to feel ourselves. We actually actually really understand and
recognize acknowledging yourself in that moment. And when I say
to people what do you think about your breath or
what do you think about breath? They go and they
go straight to logic. But I'm like, let's close eyes
and let's feel it. And then you'll get to feel it.
So maybe just in this moment, let's just tap in
(04:15):
so that everyone gets to feel it for a minute.
So wherever you are, just close your eyes and put
your hand to wherever in your body you feel most comfortable,
and a hand to your chest, to your heart, and
just close your eyes down if that's right for you,
and take a breath into your body right now, and
(04:36):
as you're breathing in, feel your body and exhaling all
the way out. Just let yourself sink into the exhale,
and as you breathe in again, notice what's coming up
in your mind. Notice what's in your mind as you're breathing,
and as you're exhaling. Notice what your bodies actually feel
(05:00):
like right now as you're breathing, and notice as you
breathe in again, notice any sensations that are coming up
for you. And as you excel, just notice and acknowledge yourself,
and notice if you can soften a part of your body,
(05:21):
Notice if you can just relax into the body that
you live in and take a big breath in and
let yourself have a sigh out, and then just recognize
how you feel right now, and you've entered into your breath,
(05:45):
entered into relationship with yourself, a deepening, a wisdom, and
that truly is breath work in its most simplest form.
It is right. But actually what breath can be is
really scary for some people. It can feel intimidating because
(06:10):
it's kind of if you've been living in a life
where you've a bit trapped, or you're emotionally suppressed, or
something's happened to you along your life where you've held
your breath, you've clenched your breath, and then we get
to turn the light onto that. It can feel really confronting.
It can feel too much. You can start to think
I'm a bit too much, I'm feeling too many things.
(06:31):
I've got to come back into control. And so when
I tell people what I do for work and we
talk about breath, I can see people sort of wander away,
and I'm like, oh, I need to speak to those people.
Because actually, when we're born, we're born either into love
or fear, and sometimes our breath can get trapped in
(06:51):
the birth of ourselves. So in a long winded way,
when we're breathing, our nervous system remembers who we are.
We can't pretend there's no mask when you're in your breath,
when you're connecting to it. So day to day, yeah,
you can be completely unconscious of this breath keeps you here.
(07:12):
But that's a magic, right, So that when you tap
into the slowness of yourself, you're actually tapping into your magic,
your wisdom, and you can notice whether you're running on empty,
pushing forcing, squeezing yourself, or if you're really like this
is this is magical and actually that's abundance, isn't it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
I love that explanation, and it's so true. I think
so many of us are so unconscious of how we're
actually feeling and how to tap into how we're feeling.
And that's such a simple way to like check in.
Because even when I did that just then, I was like, oh,
I'm probably running a bit of adrenaline just from like
(07:55):
getting ready in the morning, getting ivy ready, having breakfast
didn't finish my BA breakfast, getting here, and those sorts
of things, And I could feel myself probably being in
that like the fight or flight where you're going and going,
and so I was probably in that even though when
you saw me, I look fine, I look calm, collected,
(08:16):
like I look, you know, I probably felt fine, but
it's like when I actually checked in, I was probably
running on a bit of survival. And then I know,
when we are in that survival mode and you know,
we can't digest, we can't you know, think straight sometimes
and all those things. And it's interesting because I wonder
(08:36):
how many people, you know, myself included, are constantly during
the day running on that survival, you know, and not
taking a proper breath, not feeling into how they feel,
and then like what sort of consequences would be.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
Because of that completely And I am not like I
am that person too. I have to breathe actually, because
I don't come from a a I don't come from
a place of love and safety. I came from a
place of I've got to survive. I've got to please
people to feel love. So my breath has always been
in that agitation of you know, you know, keep going,
(09:16):
keep up, you know, keep pretending. And so when you
do the work on yourself with the breathing, it actually
reminds you that actually I am okay, I can slow down.
I don't need to be in control. Yeah, And so
it doesn't need to be these really big cathartic breaths
to get to that magic of yourself. It can be
(09:36):
just like that, like we've just done. Now where you go, Actually,
how do I want to feel today as I'm softening
as I'm breathing. Do I want to feel more relaxed?
Do I want to feel more present? And I think
that's what well, I don't think That's what breath work
actually does. Is it brings you from unconscious to conscious
than to present, to being right here, right now. And
(09:59):
when you stay that and you keep reminding yourself in
your breath during the day, how can I bring myself
right back to this moment? Just taking that breath will
actually do that. And then you have a choice whether
you let your nervous system still run you into crazy yeah,
or oh I get a choice. I can breathe and
decide whether I want to take a moment, or I
(10:20):
can do some more focus work, or I can stay
really present with my child rather than feeling like I'm
a loose cannon, which as moms that happens. So, yeah,
that's what breath work does. It helps you to tap
into that parasympathetic nervous system out of fighting flight interest
and digest.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
And if you have got a wide nervous system, it's
okay because the more you practice, the more that you
create safety in your body and you come out of
control to being really consciously softening.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Yeah, and you can come into more focus and conscious
being more conscious when you're out of being unconscious and
have that awareness, like you said before, rather than like
your nervous system running the show, you can start being like, no,
I don't actually have to feel anxiety or stress about this.
(11:16):
And I think that's that's my favorite thing about breath.
And I use breath a lot, Like sometimes I will
be like and then I've got to do this, and
then I've got to do this, and they'll go here,
and then like I'll sit and breathe and I'll be like,
hang on a second, I now know what's important, and
it's like it's clarity. Yeah, I get so much clarity
from breath. I didn't love to talk to you because
(11:38):
obviously there's very gentle breath. I've done a pregnancy breath
work with you when I was pregnant with Ivy. I
recently did a pregnancy breath work at a retreat and
it was gentle breath and I still had such a
like full got visuals, full you know, processed trauma, that
sort of thing. So there's you know, the gentle breath,
(12:01):
there's just like the every day the checking in, and
then we go right to you know, releasing trauma. Can
you kind of tell us the difference and your experience
with using both.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
I love this. I mean, I think nowadays you look
at what Instagram or socials are telling you about what
breath work is. And I'm not going to go down
this road for too long, but I think people have
a misconception about what breathwork can be. For a start,
breathwork isn't meant to be forcing a release of trauma.
(12:39):
It's meant to gently nurture so that the body is
ready to let go. And when you're breathing and you're
feeling safe, your body will naturally want to release. But
when you're chasing that release, you're chasing and breathing deeply
and fast. What you're doing is activating the release of
the trauma. But then there's no sustainability for it to
(13:01):
be gone. It will just come straight back in and
often comes back in with more, more agitation, more fear
so it's very important that you understand what you're going
into when you're trying to do a breath work. That's
a deeper process. So with conscious breathing, what I like
to think about it is there's kind of a tone
(13:23):
of masculine feminine, and I'm sure you know the difference
of that. So what I've noticed over the last twenty
years is that we can be in that push like
wim Hoffee type breath where we're activating inhale xl really
really fast, and it can feel a lot. Your whole
body can go into this really big, deep visceral feeling
(13:43):
of you know, they call it technique where your hands
go into chloring and you can get this feeling right
through your body, some people having like an exorcism. Yeah right.
And I've definitely had many moments of putting myself into
that position on purpose because I want to, and I've
been into held spaces where I've been into that is
that great, not necessarily like it's great, it's a great feeling.
(14:07):
You feel really good afterwards. The afterpart is what's really
important with that, the integration of the practitioner that's holding
that space for you. That integration is as important as
a breath. So it's having those two sides and knowing
how you feel afterwards, and knowing how to keep grounding
yourself after you've been in experience, and how to bring
yourself back into your body, because when you breathe like that,
(14:29):
it's kind of like you've gone somewhere else for a
moment and your body's releasing and then all of a sudden, oh,
I'm back in again. But I don't feel comfortable with this.
So when I'm leading a breath work now, and having
worked with women now for such a long time, I
realize that what most women need, and what most humans need,
is heart opening experience where it's gentle but more powerful,
(14:54):
because when you're leading from the hard, you're actually leading
all of yourself into this safe place where your body remembers.
It remembers womb experiences, it remembers life, why you're here,
your purpose, and there's a wisdom that ripples through. And
it's not just your trauma, but we hold that genetic
that generational trauma as well of grandmothers, grand you know
(15:18):
all of the line. And so when you're releasing your
bodies remembering, and it's kind of an opportunity to come
back into your heart. So for me, what is quite
interesting is that a lot of women, because we're in
this life now where we're fast paced, well, we're trying
to be just the same as the man, you know, busy, busy,
doing doing right, and it has its advantages, but for
(15:41):
a woman it's kind of we've forgotten how to lead
from the heart. So I will often take women into
the fast breath for a couple of rounds so that
I'm showing them where they're at, this is where you're
living right now, and then dropping you into your heart
led afterwards where they really do release, but with that
(16:02):
sort of feeling of I'm coming from my heart. I'm
coming back to remembering who I am and coming back
to I am here for a reason, And it kind
of the ego leaves and as you come out of
the breath, you remember that I'm amazing, and you're coming
back to loving yourself again. You're not looking for it externally,
(16:25):
you're actually remembering that I am actually loved. I'm safe.
And when you come out from having a safe lead
feeling in your body, that sustainability and then that integration
afterwards feels beautiful. It feels exciting. It feels like you've
just opened your eyes to the world. And actually what
(16:46):
comes from that is this deep intuition. And then from
that intuition, as you know, because you talk about this
so much, anything is possible.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
I know, when you trust yourself, it's like you feel
so low. Yeah that's beautiful.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
And I'm so glad you touched on this because I
have had experiences with both sides. I for example, and
this is I love that you touched on the integration
piece because when I have done a very like the
whim Hoff, like the very masculine breath, it was with
a practitioner who I had been working with for six
(17:23):
months prior, with a lot of other you know, different
tools if t tapping and eating and artea and those
sorts of things. He was like mind body coach. And
then it was only then that I got to a
certain point that he's like, Okay, now we're going to
do releasing breath work. It wasn't just like random, if
that makes sense, like completely, it was very intentional and
(17:45):
it was so transformative and I had a very youthoric
experience and it was great. And then I continued to
work with him, and I remember even being like, are
we going to do a breath work again and he
was like, no, relax, and we did. We didn't do
one again, beca because he's like, no, it's not something
you just do you know, every day, and that because
it's so much on your native system and your body,
(18:08):
and it does. It puts you into it puts you
into fight and flight doesn't have that breath yeah, And
so that's my experience with that. But it did have
a really great release. It was very transformative and very
euphoric where I was like, wow, it feels like I'm
a drux or something, and you know, you're just tapping
in it to yourself, which really I love that of
(18:30):
the side of like we really we don't need substances,
We don't we don't need anything like that. We can
tap into, you know, those different dimensions within ourselves, which
is just incredible. And then I've had another experience, so
obviously when we did the breath together, which was amazing,
so gentle and nurturing. I remember I was kind of
(18:50):
falling asleep. You were you were like wake up, but
like it felt it felt really really good. And then
also remember when you pasted our rebirth, and you did
such a beautiful breath with a whole bunch of postpardoned
women and I could see, you know, they were crying,
(19:13):
they were releasing, but it was so again, so gentle
and so beautiful. And I actually just came back from
a retreat where the other people there were doing the
more masculine breath, but obviously, being pregnant, nothing I can do,
and so they just said, oh, you know, just breathe
in for five, breathe out for five. And because I've
(19:35):
done a lot of my own meditations and visualization, I
kind of took myself on my own journey. I love that,
and it was so I just did a very simple breath,
not even really being guided. And if I can be
very vulnerable and roll with you guys with this pregnancy,
I'm probably going to have to go on bed rest.
(19:55):
So we're recording before this episode comes out, obviously, and
I have a lot of anxiety around leaving Ivy, of course,
and it's hopefully going to only be you know, a
couple of weeks max, which is great because they did
think it was going to be a lot longer. So
it is a like it's a positive but the thought
(20:16):
of like not being with Ivy every night, especially before
such a big transformation, I really was like feeling quite
anxious about it, and especially because you know, my husband's
stay at home dad, and so usually Ivy's very attached
to him. And so when people are like, oh, how
you think Ivy is going to go with the transition
the whole pregnancy, I was like, She'll be fine, like
(20:37):
because Tim's still there, I'll have the newborn. But it's crazy,
I reckon the last like two or three months, she's
been so attached to me to the point where she
doesn't want him to, you know, get her out of
the car. She wants me and she wants me to
put her in bed, and it's beautiful and it's lovely,
and I honestly just think it's just because I've softened
so much in this pregnancy.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
I can see that, and she just loves it.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
And I'm like really turning on the maternal you know, energy,
and so then that I was like, oh my god,
and now I'm going to go for two weeks and
then I'm going to come home with a newbornet. It
was really making me feel emotional, but I probably was
suppressing it like I don't think I spoke to anyone.
I just thought to my mind and then push it
away because I don't want to feel it because it's
(21:22):
you know, painful. And during this really gentle breath, I
had such a beautiful experience where Ivy you know, kind
of came to me. And I also didn't realize, but
I hold a lot of guilt around going back to
work so quickly after Ivy. And it's not so much
(21:44):
that that was a bad thing or even that I
won't you know, do it again, but how I personally
felt in the moment was I wasn't dealing well with postpartum,
and so I used work as a distraction. And so
even though she was so loved and you know, she
had tim and all the things, there's definitely I was
(22:07):
suppressing guilt there because I knew how I felt and
it wasn't you know, fully clean.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
It was like I get it.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
I was, you know, dealing with a lot and so
in this yeah, brute, beautiful breath work, like I just
had this moment where I became to me and she
was like, Mommy, it's okay, Like, don't you don't have
to feel guilt or shame or anything. I got exactly
what I needed and also that needed to happen because
(22:36):
my little sister is really going to need you. And
it was so beautiful obviously, like so emotional, and because
she is she's like she's a sagittariu. She's so independent
and detainment and like she really can hold her own
and so it's it's really see, it's almost like I
(22:56):
had to go through that experience with her two soft
and to realize that I want to be different and
I want to have different and this baby will get
and sorry, that's what it was. I felt guilty because
I know this baby is going to get such a
different version of me, and I feel really bad for
Ivy because I can see how much she likes this
(23:17):
version of me. And so I was having all these
emotions and it was really beautiful because yeah, Ivy was
like mom, no, like this is it's all perfect, Like
don't feel guilt, don't feel shame, like I forgive you,
like I'm having this I know.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Like it was.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Beautiful and it was exactly what I needed, and it
was again it's still euphoric, but it was so gentle,
and after I can really sit and journal and integrate,
you know what I mean. It didn't feel like I
was like on this hiahuasca troop or something. It was
(23:58):
very heart opening and it like it was really really
beautiful and transformational and it's not something you can kind
of get any other way.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
No, No, I think that's such a beautiful thing that
you just tapped into. There. There's a transition when we're
going from a mother to mother again, and I actually
think it's the biggest transition a mother will go through
because everyone gets ready for that first baby. The first
baby's here to teach you. It's like a mirror version
(24:29):
of everything that you've got to learn about how to
parent yourself as you become a parent, because we don't
have it all worked out. No one knows how to parent.
And I get that mother's guilt of going back to work.
I did it with my second baby, not my first.
But I think what you did there having that experience
was a transitional moment of getting ready and the grief
(24:52):
we don't talk about the grief of, you know, going
into motherhood for the second time, the grief of letting
go of it just be the three of you now
to moving into the four of you it's a huge
transition and it comes with its own its own just release,
its own acceptance.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Yeah, because it's both seasons beautiful. But again, like as humans,
we love comfort, we love to know what's going to happen. Yes,
And so when you are entering a season of the unknown,
of course there's going to be you know, feelings that
come up. And so if you're not feeling them, if
(25:31):
you're not you know, having those gentle releases. I just
know because I was a very suppressed child and teenager
and it came out of very funky, interesting ways that
I had to do a lot of you know, work
and release on. And so what's so beautiful about yeah,
(25:52):
gentle breath is it is something you can like integrate
in your everyday life. But it's releasing all these not
that this transition is little obviously behind, Yeah, but it's
about constantly releasing, constantly feeling these emotions. So again you
can be in control. They're not controlling you.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
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Speaker 2 (27:23):
The show notes.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
And I think I love that those little releases, it's
almost a contractual before your contraction start, or it's like
these mini moments of just releasing before you get ready
for your next so that you can be a mother.
You know, we often think, how can I love another
child just the same as this one? Yeah, And that's
(27:47):
why it's so important to come into that heart state
so that your heart is fully open and ready, because
it's just enormous, like the feeling that you get, like
my gosh, I've got enough room to love another child
just the same, if not more. And actually Ivy will
feel all of your love because she also gets to,
(28:07):
you know, move into her new role which she's so
ready for, isn't she. Yes.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Yeah, We've been really like communicating and talking to her
about her so I feel like she is.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
So how else do you use the breath, especially with
women and like postpartum and motherhood, because I know that's
something you specialize in.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
Yeah, it's my actual passion is to work with women
getting ready for birth and infertility too, because I know
that's been a big journey for you as well. Is
you know, it's all heart centered. You know, creating a
child or wanting to create a child is all about
co creation and the creation in your body, and it's
(28:51):
believing in yourself. It really is. And I think that's
what I love the most about working with women in
that stage of life, is you not just you, but
with your partner as well, because you don't do it
just yourself, and it's your relationship and it coming from
a heart space, real depth of your relationship together as
(29:11):
you go into that co creation. It's the fear, Yeah,
it's the fear. It's working on it because often people go, oh,
you know, I know I've got fear, but it's okay,
I'll be okay, and you're like, no, no, let's tap
into fear. Because that's really what I love about my
work the most is I get people to understand that
(29:32):
fear isn't going to just go away. But what if
fear was what off on the other side of fear
was possibility? What if it was actually something a bit magical.
But because we're so scared of what that fear is,
we don't even even attempt to look at it because
we'd just rather go, oh, that's the elephant in the room.
I don't want to deal with that. But when you're birthing,
(29:54):
it is right up front and center, and it can
take a woman into not conceiving because it's so there
that you just you know how you hear women go
off have a holiday and then they fall pregnant after
doing three rounds of IVF and that's because they've kind
of just gone, we're going to forget about it, We're
just going to relax and we're actually coming together for
(30:16):
creation of just being in love. And that can often
be the case. And then when you're in pregnancy, everybody's
telling you all their fears about this is how I birth?
This is So it's there's so many moments of women
having this fear put on them and it being in
the room, and they don't know what to deal with,
how to deal with that. So when I'm using the breath,
(30:38):
it's more than just breath. It's just remembering. It's remembering.
So I'll say to a woman, what you know birth?
What do you think? And they're like, and I'll ask
them that same question ten times, like birth, what do
you actually think about birth? And it's like what's under
the rock, like what's behind the curtains? And when you
(31:00):
ask somebody that, they're kind of, oh, I'm uncomfortable because
what's happening is your body's remembering. Actually, I find birth
quite scary or I feel a bit terrified when I
think about it, or I feel love or I feel
you know. So when I'm asking that question, even to myself,
I'll still remember my own birth in a way with
it subconsciously. So when you come and you bring the
(31:22):
breath into that question, we get to tap into what
if On the end the other side of this fear
that I'm feeling, there is joy and openness and oneness
and nature and what if actually it's exciting and what
if it's magical? And so what we do is when
we're breathing in all these moments, no matter what your
(31:45):
outcome of what you want your birth to be, if
you can meet your fear and send it love and
like almost hug it and know that you're safe, there
is so much openness there. And also we forget that
our babies are being educated in the womb through our
nervous system, so true in the birth itself, and when
(32:08):
a baby is born into the world they feel love
or fear, they've already got a nervous system already set
preset by the mother. You know how she's feeling. And
if you're hearing this, you're thinking, oh my god, I
was a crazy mess with my regnency. I want you
to know that I totally get it because I've had
my own experiences of being a bit terrified because of
(32:31):
my own life experience that you know, we can change it.
Because when a baby is born and they're greeted and
they're loved, deeply loved and received, it is a life
changing experience for that baby. Their baby can be born
with this agency of I'm here you know, here I am.
(32:52):
And you look at Ivy and she's got agency, right
because she's loved. Yeah, Actually, her nervous system knows that
she has loved.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
She's safe, yeah, yeah, because.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
You and Tim have brought that to her. And so
it's that's what I do. That is what it is,
whether you bring the breath into it or not, it's
bringing that self inquiry, understanding what drives your fear and
maybe making it a bit more magical. And when it
does come up in birth, and it does, without the doubt,
it's the biggest thing in the room. It's not just
(33:26):
your fear, but it's the midwives, the caregivers, your partner.
If you don't feel safe in the room that you're
birthing in, your baby will feel it. So we have
to create advocacy, and we have to understand who's going
to be in the room with us, and we have
to understand who's looking after us, because we can't do
(33:47):
that by ourselves. So it's so beautiful. And when you
breathe and you close your eyes and you drop into
that breath, you're bringing your own self into it, your
own safe Your own nervous system gets to feel alive.
You can't come into parasympathetic nervous system when you're birthing
(34:07):
because you're having an emotional life experience, right, So when
you hear all just you have to breathe through your
nose in birth, and I'm like, bullshit, We're having an emotional,
a huge life experience here and when we can feel
excited about it, whatever the outcome is when we go
to feel this beautiful baby in our arms and everyone
(34:30):
else gets to rejoice with you that baby feels that
in the room, It really truly does. So you know,
we have these situations where I do like a road
map of what birth and the outcomes of birth look like.
So you know, we all want our baby here safe,
but some people just want to only talk about it
being a vaginal, natural birth and I'm like, but what else?
(34:53):
What are all these other things? You know? So that's
the kind of work that I do with pregnancy is
helping you to understand that you're breath in the moments
of birthing, in the moments of pregnancy matter, and that
your nervous system is completely in co creation with your baby,
and how you feel about life is actually what you
(35:14):
think about birth.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Interesting yeah, I love that.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Yeah. And what you think about your breath is what
you think about your emotional self. So when we're in
a birth and breath experience, we're in an emotional life
experience and we forget that. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Wow, that's so powerful. Never thought of it that way.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
Yeah, So it's actually magic, pure magic, having a baby
in the world.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
Yeah. And what I love as well is that that
work doesn't just forget, doesn't just end at birth. When
you have an unsettled baby, especially for ug on the
other side, you just get the lights down, dark room,
put your baby on your chest, I need just breathe, yea,
and they come back into that nervous system regulation because
(36:05):
mum's regulated. Yeah, and that's really magic.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
I've noticed such a big difference with because Ivy is you.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
Know, three and a half. Oh yeah, you're in the teenagers.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Yeah, three ages. And when I noticed, like, you know,
if I've been a bit stressed at work and I've
been running on well, you know, autopilot, She'll do something
and I'll snap back at her, and she snaps right back,
like she mirrors my nervous system and my reactions. And
(36:36):
so I've been really good at catching myself and being like, okay,
this is because also she's very determined and strong, so
it's like she'll just keep coming back. There's no she's
a youth, yeah, because it's me and I think, okay,
good to know. And so I literally I think I
did it like maybe two mornings ago, and she was
(36:57):
really hysterical about the way I was doing hair. Yeah,
and you know it was she was having a full
melt down and I just had to like stand up
like she was facing a TV so she couldn't see me,
and I literally just just like like just really calm myself.
And then after you know, five breaths, I like got
on her level and I was like really soft voice
(37:20):
communicated to her and I was able to regulate myself.
And as soon as I did that, she you know
responded in the same way. And then we did her
hair and then she even after was like, I'm so
sorry for yelling at your mummy. Wow, I know so,
and because like we're big on like not making her
(37:43):
apologize but just like yeah, owning it, and so she
said I'm so sorry. I said, it's okay. You would
just you know, you're feeling a bit frustrated mamma gets
frustrated too. I'm sorry for you know, reacting that way
to you, and you know, and she literally like hugged
me and started crying and she was like, I just
(38:03):
love you so much. And I was like, oh my god.
But I really think back to probably Georgie, who didn't
have as a regulated nervous system, and I would have
missed so many moments of that. Yeah, And that's like,
that's such a simple breath moment. That's not even you know,
a ritual practice, right, And that's how much it can
(38:25):
change your life. That's how much it can be magic.
Because yeah, so important when you have kids, but also
so important for yourself because that was such a beautiful
reparenting moment because I probably my mum was amazing and
so maternal, but she also had four kids took after
and a household to run, and you know, it probably
(38:48):
didn't you know, get that. It was just I can't,
I can't deal with you kind of thing, especially because
I was such a strong willed child, which is great.
You know, He's got me here, and so yeah, I'm
having such beautiful, like reparenting moments too, and it's just yeah,
dropping back into the breath. Yeah, so how can you know?
(39:11):
Maybe someone's not a mother, they're not Popparton, they you know,
don't have a children, but like, how is the breath
going to help them? And you know, maybe they're also a.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
Little bit scared of breath work totally.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
They've seen the videos and the cramping up and they're like, oh.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
That's not for absolutely not. I think what I love
I love this question because I think that it can
be so simple. Yeah, so simple. I think the best
way to start thinking about breathing is to just you know,
acknowledge it. And most people and this is the science
behind it actually is that there's about I think it's
(39:47):
about I'm going to go into the ninety percent of
people can't breathe properly. Wow, it's a real problem because
we're you know, adapting to being in flex forward with
our looking at our phone or on our devices, and
really it's really hard with our postures to get good
breath and we forget that the lungs are a huge
(40:09):
part of our toolso and so if we're only sipping
up the top part of the lobes of our lungs,
how are we going to even And that's actually telling
your body. I'm not feeling great. So I would say
the first thing to do is just to start. When
you're in the car and you're driving and you get
to a red light, use that as a practice to go.
What if I was to breathe into my back against
(40:29):
the seat, that feels good. What if I was to
breathe a little bit into the size of my ribs,
that feels good, and just start there. Because what happens
is when you go to yoga, people go, oh, breathe
into your belly. Well, you don't have a diaphragm deep
in your belly. It's a bit up from there. And
(40:50):
the diaphragm is one of the biggest muscles that you
know makes breath happen. Some people say belly breathing, it's
actually incorrect. You need to go a little bit above
the the bather belly button. And when you're pregnant, obviously
you don't have your diaphragms not really there. It's kind
of pushed back.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
Everything's scratched.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
So I think what I would say is start putting
into little practices of hmm, what if I was just
to find a little breath practice of doing three breaths
every day and trying to think when I'm in the gym,
before I start the gym, what if I stand in
the mirror with one of those resistance bands, put it
around my diaphragm and try and practice bringing the breath
(41:31):
a bit deeper into my body. I might start to
actually like my breath again. And it doesn't need to
be scary connecting to your breath. What it does is
actually start if you pop it to a habit that
you're already doing, you start to notice, actually, I'm really
liking breathing on purpose a bit more. And then when
you start pulling in that practice, when you're doing a
(41:52):
meditation and they ask you breathe, you go, actually, I
really enjoy this. Now that's the first parts I think
of bringing a practic this in. You doesn't need to
be laying on the ground doing these really massive experiences
that is by choice, and that should be led by
people you feel most safe with, like you had that experience.
(42:12):
And I think if you have had a bad experience
with breathing, go to a practitioner that has got, you know, qualifications,
They've got time on their side, They've not been doing
it for five minutes. Yeah, and maybe don't go to
a room where there's two hundred people. Yeah, you know,
just saying, Or don't be in a place where you're
(42:33):
going to feel like you're analyzing yourself and judging yourself.
Your breath is going to be so hard to find.
So I think just starting off simple, just doing simple
breath techniques. Even box breathing can feel a lot. Sometimes
people can't even breathe in for more than a couple
of seconds. I always think to think it like an
(42:55):
elevator rather than a box. You breathe in from the
deep part out of yourself and up, and then you hold,
and then you breathe all the way out and hold
at the bottom, and just try and do that a
little bit. That could be as beautiful as doing a
big breath if you've had a lot going on for
your life, and then just start building that practice, doing
(43:15):
some breathing meditations, start just trying to encompass it into
your life. But when you're at the traffic lights or
any time that you've got a couple of moments where
you're just pausing, just drop into a breath. And then
the other time as well, is if you're feeling exhausted,
do a little sequence of a few breaths to try
(43:36):
and get your energy back. That can be amazing. I mean,
the breath doesn't need to be meditative. It can also
be uplifting. It can be energizing when you're feeling anger
and really no one talks about that, but women have
got this anger that's inside of them. Are quite a
lot of women do. And when you're feeling it and
you're suppressing, it's actually not good for you, So use
(43:56):
your breath to let it out, you know. And then
we also forget that actually laughing and crying is a
form of breathing, you know, a different way of releasing.
So we're always activating through our breath. But if we're
not breathing very well, that's just start point, really is
just to start thinking how am I actually breathing? If
(44:16):
it's not very good, my body's already in an anxious state.
So that's a really good point to start.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
And so like introducing these you know, very small rituals
and routines with breath, can someone expect to feel different? Yes?
Speaker 3 (44:32):
Yeah, instantly, instantly. I mean, all right, let's do it now.
So sitting up really tall wherever you are, and please
don't close your eyes if you're listening to this driving
because it's pretty dangerous, and just think about growing taol
through your tolso and just take a breath in and
we're coming back to it against you can feel it,
(44:53):
So breathing through your nose and don't correct it, and
then exhale all the way out. Now, take your hand
to your chest, and your hand to your diaphragm, which
is just just above your belly button, and you'll feel it.
If you push in, you'll find your floating ribs at
the bottom and there's a little arch and that's your diaphragm.
So I want you to think about where your hand
(45:15):
is most moving when you breathe in. So breathe in
and as you excel, just notice what is moving in
your body. Is it more through your shoulders or is
it more in your tummy area. If you're breathing in
your shoulders and moving up and down, you're only using
the very top lobes of your lungs. Now, don't feel
(45:37):
likely doing something wrong. This is just the start of
changing your breath. How about if you were to take
your hands now to the sides of your ribs. Now, Gee,
you're not going to do it because you're pregnant. But
you can breathe into your back. So if you take
your hands to the side of your ribs and close
your eyes and see if you can get your ribs
to move where your hands are. So let's breathe in together.
(46:01):
See if you can make them expand and then exhale
all the way out, breathing into the sides of your ribs,
or even into your back on the seat, exhaling all
the way out. See what's happening. And what's happening when
we start to change that breath for you is that
(46:24):
you are now breathing a little different, a little better.
And it takes practice. And that's where we're not doing
the practice. We think that I'll just that little breath
in and breath out through the top loads of my lungs,
that will be good enough. But when we start to
expand into the fullness of the lobes of our lungs,
(46:45):
the front, the back, the sides, we have a full torso.
And when we're expanding our ribs into that torso, we
are actually using all of the energy in our body.
And it's so amazing. When you start changing the breath
your body feels better. Ailments in your body starts to change,
(47:06):
which is so crazy. Neck pain starts to dissipate. Back
pain changes, your digestion changes, your nervous system changes, everything
changes when we're breathing better. So I think that's really
where I see most people need to start is changing
how they're breathing. And then once you change that, you
(47:29):
start feeling better. You even go to the toilet differently,
You even change where your pervict floor activates. Because the
pervic floor is another diaphragm of the body. So when
we're using our actual diaphragm, our perfect floor changes, so
it all connects the whole body.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
That's yeah, it's just extraordinary. Yeah, thank you so much
for taking us through that. I hope that was insightful.
It was bel not very relaxed. Perfect for my next podcast.
And I'm so excited because you are going to come
on our beautiful Rise app and do a seven day
(48:08):
challenge for the Rise community. Yes, we are so grateful
to have you on there. Like I said, I have
been doing your work for years and years and years,
so to share you with my very very special community
is so exciting.
Speaker 3 (48:22):
I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (48:23):
Could you tell the Rice community. If they're joining us
for the seven day challenge, what they can expect. What's
your intention for this challenge for them? Yes, I yeah,
I'd love to know.
Speaker 3 (48:35):
I think bringing to the basics is where we'll start,
and then we'll start doing a breath for different things,
different ranges of each day, you know, different emotions. Maybe
even rather than pick up that coffee or chocolate at
the end of like the afternoon, we might do a
breath into that. Breathing for going to sleep, yeah, because
(48:56):
a lot of people, Yeah, a lot of people find
going to sleep really difficult. Breathing instead of scrolling on
your phone. Yeah, you know, there's so many things. I'm
going to give you, so many different breaths that will
help you go after seven days. I love breathing. I
want to take you from going oh yeah, it's that
kind of woo woo thing to wow, this is actually
(49:17):
something in my body that feels good. Yeah, And it
will help you to feel more focused, more present, and open,
really open to possibility. And that's what I'm going to
take you through on seven days of going from unconscious
to conscious and then from conscious too. Excited.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
Yeah, yeah, I'm so excited and that's like, so what
you know, you know my mission and what I preach
is you have everything you need to have your dream life,
to feel peace, to feel happiness, to feel all the
things that you want to feel, the feelings, the emotions,
(49:59):
that dream reality you want to have. You literally have
everything inside you right now to make that happen. And
breath is such a huge part of that because I
feel like so many of us will be wanting this
external Like I said, like it's I need to take
this and I need this, and I need to have
my coffee and I need to and we really don't
(50:21):
need anything. We just need ourselves. And when we're tapping
into these tools that we literally we don't need to
pay for, we don't need any anything for that's where
things get magical because you become unlimitless.
Speaker 3 (50:37):
You believe in yourself. Yeah, and you get to choose.
And that's one of my things I have post it
notes everywhere is I choose me and when I breathe,
I'm choosing to breathe with that consciousness of I get
to do this. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:52):
Yeah, thank you so much, Nikoa. It has just been
so great to have you on the podcast and have
this discussion chat. Like I said, I think a lot
of people have a misunderstanding about breath work and even
think it's too woo woo, it's too much, it looks
too hectic, and it's really really not the case, and
(51:14):
it can be something that you can do so gentle,
so easy, every single day to really create, like you said,
this magical version of yourself. So guys, I'm so excited.
We will put all the details in the show notes
for Nicholas's challenge in the Rise app. And also we
wanted to make it just seven days because I wanted
(51:35):
it to be super doable and digestible and easy. But
I guarantee you you'll do the seven days, and you'll
want to just keep doing the seven days, or you'll
pick your favorite and you'll, you know, make it such
a practice and ritual. But honestly, just commit to the
seven days and see how much your emotions change, See
(51:56):
how much you feel different in your body, how you
you no longer feel so much anxiety and fear, and
you know, really that feeling of like wow, I can
be and do anything, and.
Speaker 3 (52:10):
That's so powerful, so powerful.
Speaker 2 (52:14):
Well, thank you so much. Could you let everyone know
where they can find you where they can get all
your beautiful tools.
Speaker 3 (52:22):
I am predominantly on Instagram, so it's Nicola Underscore l
Laye and I'm always popping in there with some wisdom
or something to share, so that's where I am predominantlyz
Come find me on there, amazing. We will link everything
of the show notes. Thank you so much, Nicola, thank you.
Speaker 1 (52:39):
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of
the Rise and Conquer podcast. If you enjoyed it and
want more, connect with us via Instagram or continue the
conversation on our beautiful Facebook community page. All the details
are in the show notes, and I'd love to hear
more about your journey. Also, we're an independent podcast with.
Speaker 2 (52:59):
A small I'm all but mighty team, so we really
do appreciate your support. If you have a spare moment,
please click the follow or subscribe button to the podcast,
and if you leave a review, you'll help other people
find our content and we would be so grateful
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