Working Out In The Nude

• Scouting For Wrestlers
• Are You On A Sex Ban?
• Trevor Noah
• Charlie Vickers
• Jack Whitehall
• Bird V Bird

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
The Will and Woody Podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hello everyone, Welcome back to the Will and Woody Podcast,
where you get all the hottest gear woods from our
week on radio, plus all the how we made this content.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
Plus a little bit of extra stuff like this thing
I want to bring up with you right now. I
think I was a bad friend a couple of nights
ago for me, Yes, and I.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
Just want to bring it up with you.

Speaker 3 (00:31):
Yeah, we went out for dinner and drinks with Brooke Bony.

Speaker 4 (00:37):
Yeah, good friend, lovely evening A right, a lot of them.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
Yeah. Now, weird thing you bring up publicly?

Speaker 4 (00:44):
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Just strange thing you're bring out?

Speaker 4 (00:46):
There's nothing sexual going on between you, me and Brook.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
This isn't like A certainly wasn't saying that we're all friends?
Why friends? Wasn't employing it recent? I certainly, why did
you go there? He said?

Speaker 3 (00:58):
It's a weird thing to bring up unless we are
talking to her about maybe some sort of group sex arrangement.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
And I don't think it's that weird.

Speaker 5 (01:05):
No.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
I was implying that we might be talking to her
about like joining the radio show, and I was like,
that's going to create yes exactly.

Speaker 4 (01:11):
No, I went straight to the group sex, which I think.

Speaker 3 (01:14):
If we're closer to group sex than asking to join
the show total me. I think the confusion here is
that it's just three friends catching upping sas.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
But here's.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
It's got sounds so sas all right, yes, we're telling
up group sex.

Speaker 4 (01:32):
Up said anyway, she said no, So we had to
move on.

Speaker 3 (01:35):
But at the at the dinner, you now you passed wind.
And I want to make that very clear that one
hundred percent confirmed that you did past wind.

Speaker 4 (01:44):
Now I was on.

Speaker 3 (01:45):
You were on one side of the table and Brooke
and I are on the other side of the table.

Speaker 4 (01:49):
I copped her with of what you had done?

Speaker 1 (01:52):
You farted?

Speaker 5 (01:53):
Now?

Speaker 4 (01:54):
She hadn't she she hadn't reacted.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yeah, she was, she was.

Speaker 3 (01:58):
She was chatting away. She was really whole in court.
Now when it hit my nostrils.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
She was by absolutely two potsquila Boby when she was
three sprits is deep and God, you couldn't shut the
woman up.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
She was just piling on the stories.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Not that I wasn't enjoying them, but when she wanted
another spirits, I was like, we're never gonna get out
of here.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
I'm not sure if I'm never gonna get out.

Speaker 3 (02:17):
But anyway, the smell hit my nostrils and I noticed
that she hadn't noticed the fart. In my defense, I
was worried that she would think that I farted. Hence
why I said, Oh, will you farted?

Speaker 2 (02:31):
Yeah, but you're guilty of this, Like that's a classic
you play because you've lived a life where everyone assumes
that you farted. Okay, So in every situation whereby you
smell a fart first, you almost you overcompensate for the
fact that it wasn't you. Yes, that's to call you
do it that I knew, like I knew that was
going to happen. Yeah, because you I know that you

(02:52):
can't handle the fact that there's a smell in the
air and you might be blamed get blamed for it,
because I know that is as a deep fear of yours.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
Well, people think I'm a you are a farer.

Speaker 4 (03:01):
People have three cans of air fresh.

Speaker 3 (03:03):
Sorry, I am a farer, and we've got a rediffusion
which doesn't work.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
By the way, I think I've beaten them. It's one
of those. It's one of those.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
I fucking said this when you brought it in. You
it's one of those jars with the sticks that come
out of it, And I s no, it's not the sticks.
Flip the sticks. They just don't work that flipping. That
is one of the great rats.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
I reckon.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
One time, they were just sitting around at Mecha or
where where do they make this?

Speaker 4 (03:30):
Flip the sticks, fick around it. Don't say sorry. I
think I might have said it, but no, it's not Oka.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
That's not a perfume brand.

Speaker 4 (03:39):
Yeah, oh good, okay, so it's not that I reckon.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
They were just sitting around and flipped the stay, were
pissed and they just had some chopsticks that had Chinese
for lunch, and one of them just put them upside
down in their water glass.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
And they're like, guys, how about we try and sell this?

Speaker 2 (03:54):
And now you have to pay one hundred and fifty
dollars for one of these little ship jobs I've got.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
So that's done nothing.

Speaker 3 (04:01):
I've got some at home and work. They were you said,
flip the sticks. Now, anyway, back on topic, given that
I called you out for the fart, did that anger
you or were you okay with that?

Speaker 1 (04:13):
No? For two reasons.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
Firstly, I wouldn't have farted in your presence with another
there without knowing that you were going to expose me,
because I've been exposed. I've been exposed by you before
a number of times.

Speaker 4 (04:24):
You should have used hand to waft the other way.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
I knew, no, mate, piss off.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
I have so many credits in the fart bank with you,
it's not even funny.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
I could go up to your fart bank and take
out a.

Speaker 2 (04:33):
Million dollars and they would be like, you've still got
ten million dollars in here.

Speaker 4 (04:36):
So comfortably, I owned the bank, you are the bank,
so I knew that.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
Secondly, I've got no issue farting with Brooke should well,
you know when you're in the jungle. We shared a
studio for two weeks, she's and when you share a
studio with someone, they see all of you.

Speaker 4 (04:52):
Now I hold yet again, this is your issue, so
if i'd be very comfortable with someone.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
You also held you.

Speaker 2 (04:59):
Also, you also didn't take a poo in front of
your girlfriend for five years, so like not current, not
current current, So like I knew that, and as you noticed,
when you were like, oh, real, farted, she was like
she couldn't give it.

Speaker 3 (05:11):
She actually leant in and said, I'm a super taste
and then she goes, what do you have for lunch?

Speaker 4 (05:16):
I reckon, I'll be able to guess. And I was like, wow, yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
This is weird. And then I was like, oh, we're
fine with that. Pull my finger, bro, fine with that. Awesome.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
Let's bring that into the group's ex chat because so
you know that's what happened. Then I also had something
else to bring up with you. That's a bit of
a behind the scenes comment.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
You're going to bring it up after we play.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, well yeah, yeah, that's a great
idea because button pushing, Tom's pushing me on huge round
to gain again? Great or not? Not, as I'm gonna
be honest. Guests not as big as last week. The
guests were big last week on the show, I know,
I tell you ar.

Speaker 1 (05:50):
Let me reel off.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
Last week it was Harry Garside, Lee sALS and Celia Pacola.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
I think Australian celebrity wise. Now let me jump to
this week. Trevor Noah very exciting.

Speaker 4 (06:01):
Well, like he hosts the Emmys, he used to host
The Daily Show.

Speaker 1 (06:04):
He's massive. Okay, he's big. Let's try it.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
I mean I was going to try and grade them.
So like if Celia Piccola rad her out of ten nine,
Harry Garside twelve he's a friend of your Lee sales nine. Okay,
So as a combination of thirty in thirty points thirty
points for last week's guests this week, Trevor.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
Noah se ten ten he hosts the Emmys.

Speaker 2 (06:29):
Charlie Vickers. Now he's the hole. He's the star of
the biggest TV show on TV, and it's a big show.
He's a six rising, A six rising. This isn't a
he's a stock. He's a good stock to buy.

Speaker 3 (06:42):
He's a very good stock to buy as far as
guest stocks go.

Speaker 4 (06:46):
Yeah, right to buy Charlie now.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
Okay, So the guest index last week of thirty this
week and eighteen a little bit of room to improve.
Still a great guest. Trevor Noah is a ten. Maybe
get to Trevor Noah and switch us off. Let's get
into some of the best year the week though, woulds
And it all kicked off with a guy this week
called Joel who normally comes on the show on a
Friday to deliver these hypotheticals to us.

Speaker 6 (07:10):
Let's say, in my will, I was like I want
Gordon Ramsay or Jamie Oliver or someone of that level. Yeah,
to cook me and eat me.

Speaker 7 (07:18):
Would you do it?

Speaker 6 (07:19):
Ten million dollars? But for the rest of your life
there's a snail following you. And if that snail catches you,
would you still have a few drinks? You know, responsibly
if every third there was a ten percent chance that
you'd wet your pants.

Speaker 1 (07:36):
What a legend anyway.

Speaker 3 (07:37):
So, by the way, like he is as legendary away
from hypotheticals, like whenever you call him, something's going on.
And I had heard before we called him last week, yeap,
that something had happened and that's why he had been
absent for a couple of days. And I brought this
up and the story that followed was extraordinary.

Speaker 4 (07:55):
Yeah, car got stolen last week or something. That's why
he couldn't come on.

Speaker 6 (07:58):
We we had a we had a little attempted robbery
at our shot.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
You got him in the end, Did you say.

Speaker 6 (08:06):
He's gone to the till? Oh?

Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yeah, of course I thought you would think. Are you
think when I was thinking, which is gone? In sixty seconds?

Speaker 4 (08:13):
Weren't cars?

Speaker 1 (08:14):
And times.

Speaker 2 (08:17):
He was to take the cars? Nicholas Cage style operation.
But he went for the till. But you got him
in the.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
End, Joel.

Speaker 6 (08:24):
Yeah, well he ran, he ran out the front and
then I don't know what he was thinking, and he
came around the back.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
Yeah, what an idiot and h.

Speaker 6 (08:31):
And he got trapped between me and me and the
other guy.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
Did you wrestle? What did you do so citizens arrest?

Speaker 6 (08:36):
It was half we're like half an hour and he'd
be like, wrestling.

Speaker 5 (08:42):
Half an hour?

Speaker 1 (08:43):
You wrestled? Shut up? Hang on, So to to the one.
It took you half an hour to pin the guy down.

Speaker 6 (08:51):
No, it sounds terrible, but he'd lie down. We're going
to sound dumb. I'm going to sound really stupid. And
he go all right, all right, oh, I'm not going
to run away. I'm gonna run away. Just let me.
I'm gonna relax, and we're done, and we let him out,
and then he'd like strip a layer of clothing off
and don't get away again. And then by the end

(09:12):
of it, him and me we both shirtless, and I
was I had to relay this to that to make
like a police statement, and I was relying this and
I was gone, I know how dumb this sounds. I
get it, but it's exactly how it went down.

Speaker 1 (09:29):
Incredible. Sorry, it's just so so good.

Speaker 3 (09:32):
And we just thought, just because this story is so
good and because I mean, quite frankly, I really want
to prank Joel, we thought it'd be really funny if
we got a button pusher in the studio here Tommy,
to give him a phone call, because I know Tommy
you you.

Speaker 1 (09:44):
Do a very good American accent.

Speaker 5 (09:45):
Hey, thanks, man, that's really kind of you.

Speaker 3 (09:47):
Unbelievable that champagne and what it's crisp. So I just
thought it'd be really funny if up next you called
Joel saying that you're calling from like a like a wrestling.

Speaker 5 (09:58):
Association in the Sydney wrest Academy.

Speaker 4 (10:01):
That's better, that's good bit legitimacy.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
Nice and basically you heard him on the radio and
you think he has potential to become a professional.

Speaker 5 (10:14):
Oh hey, is this Joel?

Speaker 6 (10:16):
Yeah, this is Joel.

Speaker 5 (10:17):
Hey Joel.

Speaker 8 (10:18):
Hey, my name is Adam. I'm calling from the Sydney
Wrestling Academy. I got your number through a producer and
a radio show.

Speaker 6 (10:25):
Yeah you mentioned that a.

Speaker 8 (10:28):
Yeah, awesome, Hey man, I'm calling because a colleague of
mine said that he heard you on a radio show,
on that radio show Will and Woodie that you did
a citizens arrest on someone.

Speaker 5 (10:37):
Is this correct?

Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (10:38):
Yeah, me and a guy that I worked with.

Speaker 8 (10:39):
Yeah, right, So can you just like tell me the
story again because on the side here I do a
bit of talent scouting, so I just want to know
this full story.

Speaker 6 (10:50):
Yeah. Guy, So he came in and he was like
gone through our tills and we were at the back.

Speaker 9 (10:55):
Of the time.

Speaker 6 (10:55):
I work in a motorcycle shop.

Speaker 5 (10:56):
Yeah, and my.

Speaker 6 (10:57):
Colleague, he's like a boy, he's quite an athletic guys,
like in his mid forties or saying, chased him down
and I watched them across the road and then start
running down the back because we're sort of we sort
of back onto a back lane. I've just walked out
and he's gotten trapped between me and this other guy.
Nice and then at that point we've pinned this guy down.

Speaker 5 (11:16):
Wow, So like held him down in like a nelson
or something.

Speaker 6 (11:21):
Not really more or less. We just tuckled him to
the ground. It wasn't until because he kept getting up
because he'd be like, oh, I'm not going to get
away anymore, you.

Speaker 5 (11:29):
Know, hang on let me breathe, you like, let him up.

Speaker 6 (11:32):
Yeah, yeah, we let this guy up because you know,
we're trusting people. And then he do it again, and
he'd strip a layer of clothing off and do it again.

Speaker 1 (11:38):
And then on the last strip of clothing off.

Speaker 6 (11:41):
Yeah, because you grab you grab him by the you know,
like when you're wrestling, wrestling one of your whe of
your siblings or saying, you grab their T shirt and
you just like just take the T shirt off. So
he kept doing that, and then on the last one,
we had him up against the wall and I was
I was wondering when he was going to do this,
because he probably realized that it was his last option
because we'd gone this long without anyone throwing a single punch,
like no I wanted. No one had done it yet.
And right at the last one, he's just turned around

(12:03):
and I'm on one side, my colleagues on the other side,
and he's just punched him straight in the face.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
Oh broken his nose. Wow.

Speaker 6 (12:09):
And at this point I've just picked him up and
I just speed him straight.

Speaker 10 (12:12):
Into the ground.

Speaker 8 (12:13):
Okay, great, but you didn't like, uh, you didn't like
physically damage him or anything.

Speaker 6 (12:18):
Uh. The last when I took him to the ground
the last one he did get injured a little bit
right and then and at that point we've just held
him there and then the cops rocked up like fifteen
minutes later.

Speaker 8 (12:28):
It sounds like though before that, you had like quite
good control of the guy though.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (12:34):
Between the yeah, between the two of us, like he
like he just kept doing it over and over again.

Speaker 5 (12:38):
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 8 (12:39):
Well, as I said before, like I'm a bit of
a talent scout here at the Sydney Wrestling Academy, and
what I'm thinking, like it sounds like if you've been
able to take this guy down like four times, there
is like a possibility that you could go professional. That's
kind of what I'm hearing.

Speaker 6 (12:55):
So I'm quite weirdly enough. I'm quite a little dude.
I'm like five seven, that's okay. I can play quite
competitive rugby.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
I was.

Speaker 6 (13:03):
I was a fullback. I was notorious. So just like
flattening the six fo.

Speaker 8 (13:09):
Okay, nice, that sounds great. Well, you'd be in one
of our lighter weight classes. Is this something that you'd
like be interested in, like possibly going professional?

Speaker 6 (13:18):
Yeah, yeah, potentially, it was too to get a feel
for it and then figure it out from there. But
it's definitely something I'll be interested in.

Speaker 8 (13:25):
Sure, Sure, I mean, we will obviously train you up.
One of the teachers we got here is a former
Olympic wrestler coach, Leonard Zevlavski. I don't know if you've
heard of him.

Speaker 6 (13:35):
Yeah, Okay, if we.

Speaker 8 (13:36):
Were to like chuck you into a class, how do
you think you'd go day one?

Speaker 6 (13:41):
I'm way more confident than I should be, but I reckon,
I'll be okay.

Speaker 5 (13:45):
Nice, I like that.

Speaker 8 (13:46):
We like them confident, Like, if you end up being good,
we'd we'd love to even put you forward for the Olympics.

Speaker 5 (13:53):
Would you be willing to go that far?

Speaker 1 (13:56):
That far?

Speaker 6 (13:56):
For sure? If I'm if I'm dacing, that's for sure.

Speaker 5 (13:59):
Incredible. Well, it does sound like you're our type of guy, Joel.

Speaker 6 (14:05):
It's i't he's gone a wrestling name.

Speaker 3 (14:12):
But how about you, mate, You've taken down one of
the person and the citizens arrest, and you think you're
good enough to go to the Olympics.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
Get him?

Speaker 6 (14:20):
This is what I was doing. I was like, I
was like, no one could have seen it. I could
have been lying. I could be lying about this whole thing.
And this has gone Olympics.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
You are an Olympics job. That's where you were, mate.

Speaker 4 (14:34):
I feel like we need to get you in a ring, Joel.
I mean you're confident.

Speaker 6 (14:37):
Yeah, I'm ready to go, but I'm wearing spatos.

Speaker 4 (14:46):
Well you were recently serving a sex band.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
Yeah, I might need to qualify that because I've since
had a chat with seven about that. She was like,
I never really imposed a sex band on you.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
Like, oh yeah, what happened?

Speaker 6 (15:02):
Then?

Speaker 4 (15:02):
You just weren't doing it. No one was banning anyone.

Speaker 2 (15:05):
It just well no, she just said, like, you just
looked really unattractive when you didn't have any facial hair aha,
and you know. And I was like, well yeah, and
hence I joined the dots. You're not going to fuck
the guy who you think is really unattractive?

Speaker 4 (15:19):
Yeah, oh you hit your confidence and sex is a
confidence game.

Speaker 3 (15:22):
Sex is a confidence game. Would so it wasn't a ban,
It was just you weren't fillling up to it mentally.

Speaker 1 (15:26):
Well, no, I'd been his squash.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
To be honest, I thought that was a little bit
good stultous from her, because I was My point was
I effectively was on a sex band because you just
told the person that you have sex with that you
don't find them attractive. I wish she had a turn
to me and been like, I can't handle your you
you're a pleasure god. I put you on a sex band. No,
she just decided to take out my heart. Yeah, at
which point I didn't feel like having sex.

Speaker 3 (15:48):
Sure, okay, so anyway, you just effectively bringing up your insecurities.

Speaker 4 (15:52):
Now someone's going to move on.

Speaker 3 (15:54):
The discussion that we had is that most of the
time in hetero relationships, it's the female put in a
sex on the mail.

Speaker 1 (16:01):
That's right, traditionally a ripping their heart out one. That's
the same thing in my case.

Speaker 3 (16:05):
But amazingly we received this call from Rebecca, who was
actually serving a sex band.

Speaker 1 (16:13):
What have you done to deserve it?

Speaker 11 (16:16):
I checked off my husband's fairly roll.

Speaker 3 (16:20):
He was so angry about that that he said, get
out of my roles, sex man.

Speaker 11 (16:26):
We've been together about eleven years since we were seventeen,
so I don't think we have a line, and I
think I crossed it. It was like, did you seriously
just do this?

Speaker 6 (16:35):
That's it? So no more for you.

Speaker 3 (16:39):
Outstanding stuff. So she came on the show yesterday Will
and we set her a mission. Can you have a
red hot crack tonight to try and break the band?
And then amazing, can you come back onto the radio
show and tell us if Jason held strong or if

(16:59):
he gave sure.

Speaker 11 (17:01):
I would have to eat something light.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
I might need to explain the light thing again because
I was rattled at.

Speaker 3 (17:12):
That, So I think to break it down a bit more.
I think for Rebecca and her partner Jason. Yeah, before
they're about to get on the good foot and do
the bad thing, they share a light meal, yes, so
they're not bloated and stodgy, and then it's a more
enjoyable experience. Yes, I can confirm that Rebecca is going
to be joining us after the next song.

Speaker 1 (17:32):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (17:33):
I imagine last night she put together a soup or something.

Speaker 1 (17:36):
Where she suggested a soup or a salad.

Speaker 2 (17:39):
That was also implying that just the mere act of
her getting to the kitchen bench and cutting a cucumber
to prepare the salad, say Wood, was enough for him
her partner Jason, to go, ah, you're ken for a
bit of burying the weasel tonight.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
Like that was the four play.

Speaker 4 (18:00):
That's obviously something that set up.

Speaker 2 (18:01):
Seeing the salad chopping or seeing the soup. Yes, but
the question is he knows. I think it's awesome that've
said that up. But if he knows, that's a signal
that Rebecca wants to get naughty in the bedroom. The
big question is has he upheld the sex ban? Has
he held strong or has he given up and let

(18:25):
her break the band?

Speaker 4 (18:27):
Now, Rebecca joins us on the phone again.

Speaker 3 (18:30):
Hello, Rebecca, I'm very very excited to hear what happened
last night because you came on the show yesterday and
I gave you the challenge to make an attempt to
break the sex band, effectively seduce.

Speaker 4 (18:45):
Your partner Jason.

Speaker 11 (18:46):
That's right, Yes you did.

Speaker 4 (18:48):
She w is okay? And before you tell us what exactly.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
Wild wild challenge?

Speaker 2 (18:53):
Rebecca, have you ever been challenged with anything like that before?

Speaker 11 (18:58):
I don't think so. Not Live on.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
The whole country wants to know, which is totally wild?

Speaker 11 (19:06):
And the admission was successful?

Speaker 1 (19:13):
Wrote those shackles.

Speaker 3 (19:15):
So how and so how long was the sex ban
until last night?

Speaker 4 (19:19):
Rebecca?

Speaker 11 (19:22):
Before that, maybe a couple of months to be honest.

Speaker 4 (19:26):
So he held.

Speaker 3 (19:28):
A sex band for four months? So what did you
do last night to break.

Speaker 11 (19:32):
It, Rebecca, I made a caesar salad.

Speaker 5 (19:36):
There we go.

Speaker 1 (19:39):
That's all the.

Speaker 3 (19:40):
Tok so, because again, if people have just joined us
before the song, we did replay the moment where you
told us that that that kind of is for play
for you guys, that the making of a light meal
sends the message that you're down.

Speaker 11 (19:53):
Yes, so it kind of gives us that it's an inkling.
Later on we both had light meals, so let's just
go for it. I can't have a steak or anything
like that because that's gonna.

Speaker 6 (20:08):
Come up.

Speaker 3 (20:10):
Depending depending on on yeah, yeah, yeah, to finish that sentence,
but so given given that you were serving a sexpan though,
was there any reluctance at all from your partner Jason.

Speaker 11 (20:24):
It was kind of like an unspoken agreement, let's just
do it. I did say sorry for the belly roll thing,
because let's be real, like I have that obviously, I'm
going to say sorry for that. But it just kind
of like came up after the sea salad.

Speaker 1 (20:44):
The seedsar salad was the olive branch.

Speaker 2 (20:47):
And to confirm that we have got your partner, Jason,
who joins on the phone right now, Welcome Jason to
William Woody, he.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
Said, very good mate.

Speaker 4 (20:55):
Now, Jason, all.

Speaker 2 (20:56):
Of Australia now knows that if they want to get
into your pants, all they've.

Speaker 1 (20:59):
Got to do is off you a salad, mate, which
is pretty weird.

Speaker 6 (21:03):
Yeah, but I'm not the kind of bloke that takes hints.

Speaker 1 (21:05):
So all these times she's been offering, you know, for.

Speaker 11 (21:09):
To see the salad or something, it's just going straight
over my head.

Speaker 4 (21:12):
Okay, So what was it about last night that that
made you go?

Speaker 3 (21:16):
Rebecca's obviously ken And so by the way, before you
answer that question, you were instilling a sex man?

Speaker 1 (21:20):
Yeah, like what what?

Speaker 4 (21:22):
Why'd you give up last night? Why'd you give in?

Speaker 6 (21:26):
I'm a man, it's a short answer.

Speaker 7 (21:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've got nothing.

Speaker 5 (21:35):
I just had to.

Speaker 11 (21:38):
It's been a long time. Sometimes we have to plan it.

Speaker 1 (21:43):
Sure kids.

Speaker 5 (21:45):
Have you got kids?

Speaker 1 (21:48):
Of course you've got a plan that comes with them.

Speaker 4 (21:51):
And so big question, what's for dinner tonight? Rebecca?

Speaker 11 (21:55):
That is such a good question, something line.

Speaker 1 (22:04):
Jason.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
Alright, guys, we're about to get into Woody's favorite part
of the podcast now, which is the ads.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
Good ones coming up?

Speaker 2 (22:14):
So's tracking after the ads is the guest bracket and
again very very small slash slightly underwhelming guest index this
week eighteen out of thirty.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
As afore mentioned, however, however, we've had some late mail slash.
We definitely controlled about it.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
We interviewed Jack Whitehall this week and he's a ten baby.
So the guest Index, yes, goes from an eighteen out
of thirty to a twenty eight out of thirty this week.
And you're gonna hear from one of the biggest British
comedians on the planet and then.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
Travels with my father. I'm pretty sure I've got that
name correctly.

Speaker 4 (22:54):
Have you knowed it?

Speaker 2 (22:55):
And you might know him from the the slightly nerdy
quiz Show.

Speaker 1 (22:59):
Q, which was my favorite show on TV for a
long time with Stephen Fryes.

Speaker 4 (23:02):
Also the Grammys, he hosts them regularly.

Speaker 1 (23:04):
Anyway, let's go to the here's a genuine dear. We've
got the.

Speaker 4 (23:08):
Host of the Emmys and the host of the Grammy's
coming up.

Speaker 3 (23:10):
And speaking of hosts of the Emmy's, Trevor now is
going to kick us off, So let's go to the
ads and after that, trev gonna be here.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
Please welcome the host of the Emmy's, host of.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
The Daily show, Trevor Noah joins us here on Willem Woody.

Speaker 3 (23:26):
First question for me, and it's a pretty weird place
to start, but let's go there. Do you actually work
out in the nude?

Speaker 9 (23:33):
Do I actually work out in the nude? I mean
this is the question is leading because it makes it
sound like I only work out in the nude. What
I do is if I'm traveling, I find it's easier
to get a workout in before doing anything. So get
out of bed, get your workout going, and then shower.
And do you know what I mean when you say

(23:53):
do you work out in the nude? It makes it
sound like I either go to gyms in the nude
or I put like that I'm not lying on an
on a bench but naked. I don't like like I'll
do push ups on a few like body weight things.

Speaker 1 (24:05):
I don't in the nude.

Speaker 9 (24:07):
Yeah, I'm not doing sprints with my junk out, is
what I'm trying to say. You know, there's this functional,
functional stuff to keep me moving as a human being.

Speaker 1 (24:16):
Have you fail?

Speaker 3 (24:17):
I've never worked out in the node, Trevor, But would
you say that you prefer it?

Speaker 9 (24:22):
I don't think I prefer it because you know, you
take a branch at how some of the things you wear,
some of the things on you where they're supposed to
be while you're doing Does that makes sense? I'm picking
up and it's keeping up what you're putting down. So
so essentially essentially you it's not ideal.

Speaker 8 (24:39):
It's not ideal.

Speaker 9 (24:40):
Also, sometimes when I'm traveling, I don't have like workout gear,
but I don't want to not move my mind.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
Yeah, yeah, to get and imagine if you are doing
a push up occasionally you've got a bit of a kickstand.

Speaker 1 (24:50):
Who knows.

Speaker 9 (24:51):
I don't know what turns you on, but push ups
have never turned me on. So maybe this is maybe
this is your world.

Speaker 1 (24:57):
The other one who works out in the nerd man,
I've never had that. I've never had that issue or
that privilege, you.

Speaker 2 (25:01):
Know, think about time and rest, no hands, Hey Trevor.
Funnily enough, I was talking to a friend on the
way in. She said I saw him on Raya once
and I was like, yeah, so a dating app from
playing home and then on the information sheet here our

(25:24):
junior producer has just written first line Trevor and a
single Comma age forty, and I was like I.

Speaker 9 (25:32):
Like how they put that before, like my my qualifications.

Speaker 1 (25:34):
My everything, your emmy's first of all.

Speaker 9 (25:37):
I would never put single on anything. I think maybe
on a hospital form I've had to fill out single
because they asked you, like, if you die, does anyone can.

Speaker 1 (25:47):
We just put you down the emergency shoot out the
back here? That's essentially question.

Speaker 6 (25:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 9 (25:54):
But when it comes to I'm what do you mean,
I'm a you know, I'm a young man who's been
in the dating pool. It's interesting to me how people
will ask me these questions like they're not human beings.
They'd be like, oh, you're on a dating app. Yeah,
on a dating app? What do you mean?

Speaker 1 (26:07):
That's right. I'm not on.

Speaker 9 (26:08):
The dating app anymore, but I used to be on
dating apps.

Speaker 4 (26:11):
Oh why did you move off the dating apps?

Speaker 9 (26:14):
Okay, I'll tell you why.

Speaker 1 (26:15):
I'll tell you why.

Speaker 9 (26:15):
It's a soft answer, but it's true. I think dating
apps have encouraged us to make human beings disposable, more
disposable than we actually are. I don't know, but I
don't know about you, but back in the day, you
would you would cherish the moment when you met someone
because it was chanced you didn't know what was going
to happen. You didn't know when it would happen. You'd
bump into them at a party, at a gathering, at
a restaurant, whatever it might be. And then on an

(26:36):
app you link with people, you swipe, you match, and
most of the time you don't even talk to the person.
You're just like, all right, we matched, all right, Time
for the next one, you know, and.

Speaker 12 (26:46):
It's like catching, you know, and it's like it's just
like you don't have the you know, you don't have
the thing that the reason you're actually there, and so
it's I think it was like Esther Perel, the relationship therapist,
who calls it, like like it's the equivalent of like
junk food dating.

Speaker 9 (27:01):
You're getting you feel like you're eating something but you're not.
So I was just like, all right, get off the apps,
try and live a little real life and see what happens.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
And it's not that bad.

Speaker 3 (27:09):
They also kept breaking up with you because you always
worked out in the nerds when you woke up in
the morning.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
I like this guy, but the image is really in
your head.

Speaker 3 (27:23):
I heard I heard you joking about it on your
podcast with Adam Grant and I couldn't start. I couldn't
stop laughing for one, and then naturally you couldn't stop
thinking about it on this on this single thing, and
I probably will put it down after this.

Speaker 9 (27:33):
You can keep coming with. It's like you, guys, my mom.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
Question, you've joined that people.

Speaker 9 (27:40):
Let's talk about the fact that you're still single, trouble.

Speaker 1 (27:43):
What's going on in your life?

Speaker 3 (27:45):
Well, I was single for a very long time, and
I feel like you've actually hit on one of the
most annoying parts about being single, was your your mom
or your dad always asking you like, have you met
any one specially? But I hit the other hard part
of it for me was I feel like whenever I
went to events like weddings, I was all thrown on
the what I like to call the leftover's table, because.

Speaker 4 (28:04):
Have you do you find that in your life, Trevor,
So you.

Speaker 9 (28:08):
Know what I hate is like I'll get invited to
things and then people will say to me, we have
space for a plus one if there are a significant other,
and then I go like, what does that mean. They're like, well,
only bring somebody along if they're special. Otherwise it just
cheapens the event for you. And like you've been married
three times.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
You've been married three times.

Speaker 9 (28:29):
I've had to come to three weddings with three different spouses,
and you're gonna tell me about cheapening things like I'll
tell you a trick that I've learned that, I'll tell
you a trick.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
Now.

Speaker 9 (28:39):
What I do is, especially when I meet people I
don't know, they go, oh, are you single? Are you dating?
I go, I'm divorced, and immediately people are like, oh yeah, yeah, no,
no good, that's like yeah, yeah, they leave it.

Speaker 1 (28:49):
They leave it alone.

Speaker 10 (28:50):
And media.

Speaker 9 (28:52):
It's the same way if you don't want, if you
don't want someone to force a drink on you. Instead
of saying I don't want to drink, say I've stopped.

Speaker 13 (28:58):
I've stopped drinking, Like no, yeah, way to be strong,
to be strong yourself exactly.

Speaker 2 (29:09):
What a red hot guess to kick off the guest
bracket with unbelievable Trevor Noah, truly.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
Awesome, We've already done him. Yeah it happened. Oh you're
speaking retrospectively. I am nice. How else would I have
been speaking?

Speaker 4 (29:26):
I'm in two different times.

Speaker 1 (29:31):
What do you mean? What do you mean?

Speaker 2 (29:32):
We're in the podcast talking about bits we've done during
the week. Now, we had to sit down meeting beforehand.

Speaker 4 (29:37):
That's what this is. I thought in the meeting, we
still have.

Speaker 2 (29:39):
To operate in multiple time zones. You said you were
okay with it.

Speaker 3 (29:42):
I thought in the meeting we said we never retrospectively
spoke about things I've already played.

Speaker 2 (29:45):
We only talk about him beforehand. All right, you've broken
the rule. I've broken the code. But shit, Trevor Noah
was hot just then, guys, My god.

Speaker 6 (29:53):
Was he good?

Speaker 4 (29:53):
I don't comment retrospect him.

Speaker 2 (29:55):
Okay, Well, look, the only reason I am commenting retrospectively
is because earlier in the show, and we all have
to do this myself. We graded the guest bracket. We
gave it an eighteen out of thirty. It got bumped
up to a twenty eight out of thirty because I mean,
bad luck for Harry, but he got bumped by We're.

Speaker 1 (30:11):
Going to play Harry later on Harry.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
Harry paneling the show absolutely okay, So he stays in
the show because that would have been stiff, I think,
because we've already told everyone that he's coming up, and
then if he got bumped for Jack Whitehall, that would
have been that would have been right.

Speaker 3 (30:23):
We just can't classify an eighty five year old effectively
random man as celebrity guest.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
No, he was previously.

Speaker 2 (30:31):
I'd like to point that he was until we remembered
that we interviewed Jack Whitehall.

Speaker 3 (30:35):
We were all thinking, too was slow week when we
were putting Harry the eighty five year old in the
celebrity guests bracket.

Speaker 2 (30:41):
But he's been subbed out for Jack Whitehall Harry, which
is great.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
Jack's going to be on soon before we get there.

Speaker 2 (30:47):
The start of the bigger show on television is an
Aussie and.

Speaker 1 (30:52):
A lot of you guys won't know that.

Speaker 3 (30:56):
I think it's worth mentioning that you are one of
the bigger Lord of the Rings fans in the world,
so this was an easy sell for you.

Speaker 4 (31:02):
It's like, Okay, we're speaking to the star of Lord
of the Rings, but.

Speaker 2 (31:05):
You were warned it's not He's not in Yeah of
the Power, Rings of Power whatever.

Speaker 1 (31:12):
You were warned.

Speaker 3 (31:13):
Before this chat, though, I was like, will you can't
go full Lord of the Rings geek because we're gonna
lose everyone. Yep, And I think what you're about to
hear is a man who was just walking that line
because you were you wanted to so you could tell
you were just like, I just want to go so
deep into Lord of the Rings folklore.

Speaker 4 (31:32):
With this Australian guy called Charlie Vickers.

Speaker 2 (31:34):
I got to touch on it occasionally. There was a
moment where he was like, oh, will you know your stuff?

Speaker 1 (31:38):
And I was like, you have no idea? I know
you wanted to go further. Yeah, I really felt like
I was.

Speaker 2 (31:49):
Yeah, like a, I don't know, like in the movie Godzilla,
if they ever managed to catch Godzilla, do they ever
catch him and like pin him down? You think of
King Kong in King came and make catch they put
him in a cage.

Speaker 3 (32:02):
Yes, that was like me, you are King Kong, I'm Kong.
Who's Charlie the woman you take out of a building?

Speaker 2 (32:09):
Yeah, But the point is I was Gong and all
I wanted to do was just climb buildings and throw
choppers to the ground, which is Lord of the Rings
in this instance. And it was tough. It was really
tough for me not to do that because I was caged.

Speaker 3 (32:25):
And you can definitely hear that I was chat Thankfully,
I know nothing about Lord of the Rings.

Speaker 2 (32:30):
And I should mention before we get to this. I'll
explain more in the interview. But if you haven't seen
Rings of Power and you want to watch Rings of Power,
don't listen to this and do not look up Charlie
Vickers because it will spoil the first season for you.

Speaker 1 (32:44):
Yes, okay.

Speaker 2 (32:46):
Can I say one thing though, If it's a retrospective comment,
I'm going to kill you.

Speaker 3 (32:50):
No, there's another way you can do it. You can
listen to this entire chat. You can know he's Charlie Vickers,
but don't look up what he looks like. Yeah, that's
so Captain poop Pant's knows doing that. Knows Charlie Vickers
was on the show and knows.

Speaker 1 (33:04):
The character like he's the fucking EP.

Speaker 4 (33:07):
But he managed to stay away listens to the show.
Sometimes occasionally he.

Speaker 3 (33:12):
Just didn't look up what Charlie looks like, which means
it's not a spoiler.

Speaker 4 (33:16):
So you haven't watched Rings of Power, you.

Speaker 1 (33:18):
Can listen to this, yes, just don't google him.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
Yes, yeah, I think that's because it'll give away the
first season.

Speaker 4 (33:24):
It's a great loophole.

Speaker 1 (33:25):
You're watching racing on your teeth on your phone. Seve
inches right now before when you're in that chair out
the back. Confirm nor deny you were. You had it
on horizontal mode. You're rather watching porn or racing, all right,
here we go.

Speaker 4 (33:39):
That's a fun game, porn or racing ten men?

Speaker 1 (33:43):
All right, here we go. Here's Charlie. Now.

Speaker 2 (33:46):
Look, if you have any ambitions to watch Rings of
Power and you haven't seen it, stop listening now because
the person we're about to interview is going to give
away a lot just just naming them, which is wild
because I was trying to explain because you know, I'm
a huge Lord of the Rings guy, massive Rings of
Power guy.

Speaker 4 (34:05):
Embarrassingly so.

Speaker 2 (34:08):
For this interview for a very long time, and I
was trying to explain to someone on the weekend who
hasn't seen Rings of Power yet. And again, I hope
everyone's tuned out because this is where the spoiler comes in.
I was like, oh, I'm interviewing this guy called Charlie
vicause he plays sour on and they were like, oh,
I didn't know salam was in et cetera, et cetera.
And then ten seconds later I was like, oh my god,
I've goned the whole.

Speaker 1 (34:28):
First season for you. Boiler that's the whole bit. You
don't know whose sourn is until the end.

Speaker 2 (34:35):
But then, Charlie, I just found out from our junior
producer An Elyse that you didn't know.

Speaker 10 (34:42):
You were so I had no idea, no idea when
you auditioned for shows like this, like you just think.

Speaker 1 (34:50):
I just knew.

Speaker 10 (34:50):
I was auditioning for Lord of the Rings, a part
in Lord of the Rings. When I got there, they
told me you're playing this character called hal Brand. Film
the first two episodes, and then we were about to
start filming the third episode, and the showrun has called
me into the office and said, by the way, our
brand is sour. And then I had to deal with

(35:12):
that and the implications of that.

Speaker 2 (35:15):
It's like a Warner Brothers version of the Dinner Party Game,
Mafia or Secret Hit.

Speaker 1 (35:20):
You just never know which.

Speaker 3 (35:23):
Did you call your manager then, though, and go like,
I think we need to negotiate.

Speaker 2 (35:28):
It turns out I'm sourad.

Speaker 10 (35:33):
I was so scared to tell anyone. I didn't tell
my I didn't tell my agent. I didn't tell anyone.

Speaker 4 (35:39):
I told my partner and then my mum, And that's it.
I didn't tell.

Speaker 10 (35:42):
Assault spoiler thing inside me, and it just bottled it up.

Speaker 3 (35:48):
So even like even other cast members who you are
seeing every single day and continuing to be hell brand,
you didn't tell them either.

Speaker 6 (35:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (35:54):
No, I didn't tell anyone, but I think they maybe
they started maybe because I was acting a bit.

Speaker 1 (35:58):
Suspicious and weird.

Speaker 10 (35:59):
I don't know, these people started to catch on.

Speaker 2 (36:01):
So it's the thing must have been a thing on set,
because is it more fit I want to say.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
Her name is Moreh.

Speaker 2 (36:07):
So you're you're working with her every day, you're at
the lunchtime cafeteria on set, and she's going to you.
There's a pretty chance that you'renge behavior to.

Speaker 1 (36:20):
Start stroking the ring on your hand to much.

Speaker 10 (36:23):
I think eventually she started to realize that maybe how
Brown was sour and then obviously by the eighth episode
she had to know, Yeah, that's scene.

Speaker 1 (36:31):
That's right, that scene, which is such a good scene.
Can I jump in the Yeah.

Speaker 3 (36:35):
I can't talk about it as someone who isn't in
the know as much as you will in Lord of
the Ring.

Speaker 2 (36:41):
Well you're not in the know at all, Like this
is my interview. I was actually going to get you
to explain to Charlie in a nutshell. What you think
Rings of Power is because I've given you a crash course,
I'd love to.

Speaker 1 (36:50):
Yeah, go give it a correct.

Speaker 3 (36:51):
So basically, Rings of Power is set thousands of years.

Speaker 4 (36:55):
Before The Lord of the Rings, Yes.

Speaker 3 (36:57):
Okay, And basically we know there's this dude called Souron
who was quite evil, but also he's a shape shifter,
so quite hard to find.

Speaker 1 (37:07):
He can be anything.

Speaker 3 (37:07):
He could be a whale, he could be he can't
be a whale.

Speaker 1 (37:11):
It'd be cool if.

Speaker 3 (37:13):
Okay, Charlie's appointing that he become an animal.

Speaker 4 (37:18):
And so basically we find out how the Ring was forged.
Is that kind of the.

Speaker 10 (37:23):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly exactly. You see you see him
forging the ring. What I like to think about is
I have you seen Fellowship of the Ring Wood.

Speaker 2 (37:30):
He actually got to watch a special director's cut version
of Fellowship in Peter Jackson's ranch. We got invited over
for this like exclusive screening. I forgot that my passport
had expired and only remember the night before, so I
couldn't go. The only reason we were going was for me,
so I had to send him over in my stead.

Speaker 3 (37:50):
How unprofessional and I and then I got to Peter
Jackson's ranch. I was late, so I was almost kicked
down of his ranch because I got the I got
the time difference wrong.

Speaker 4 (37:59):
So I was like, I.

Speaker 3 (38:00):
Swear this movie starts in two hours, and they were
like what on New Zealand Tom Brew And then basically
I got into the cinema and again because because Peter
Jackson does have his own cinema in his ranch, and
apparently he had just finished editing the film like forty
five minutes before, because he will never finish like he's like,
it's not done, but there was just a time that

(38:20):
it had to be finished.

Speaker 6 (38:22):
Wow.

Speaker 10 (38:22):
So he continuously edits the fellowship of the Ring and
will like screen it at his house.

Speaker 4 (38:28):
Yeap, and just keeps going and keeps going.

Speaker 1 (38:30):
And he couldn't tell the difference between a Hobbit and.

Speaker 10 (38:34):
He get quizzed or anything. When you were there, right,
did you know he.

Speaker 2 (38:38):
Had a full round of junket interviews, face to face
with Cate Blanchette, Hugo Weaving, Elijah Wood.

Speaker 10 (38:43):
I did, oh my god, that's a I mean, that
is unbelievable.

Speaker 3 (38:47):
And then I had this interview with a Hobbit on
the Red carpet Charlie and I was like halfway through
the interview and then the penny dropped and someone informed
me that it was on a hobbit.

Speaker 4 (38:55):
It was their Prime Minister John Key.

Speaker 1 (38:57):
Oh my, it's a genuine disaster.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
Obviously, people different around you when you go home, Like
you know, I know we spoke briefly before about surfing.
It sounds like you obviously surfing if you go up
down the surf coast to people, Yeah, not dare drop in.

Speaker 1 (39:13):
On the dark Lord? Is that I think people?

Speaker 10 (39:18):
I think people kind of are just like I don't
think they realize when I'm out there. And also my
friends are very good at just like you know, ripping
me to pieces, yeah, or like really bringing me back
to earth. If there's any particularly with like photos and
things that come out like it's it's pretty humiliating.

Speaker 2 (39:34):
Great, great, and that's what your yeah, yeah, your mates
for that sort of stuff exactly exactly.

Speaker 10 (39:42):
It's a it's an you know, it's a whole other
world doing this. So anytime I can just come back
to reality, the more the better.

Speaker 2 (39:49):
Yeah. That's brilliant, mate. Well, it's been a pleasure to
talk to you, man. It's pleasure and all the best
with with how the season goes. The Lord of the
Rings rings with Power Streams on Prime from August twenty nine.

Speaker 1 (40:01):
It's very exciting. I'm very excited. Would hope you don't
fall asleep like you did in the Fellowship. But that's
a good sound.

Speaker 2 (40:08):
I mean, it's just the lazy boys in Peter Jackson's ranch.
It's loving to meet you, Charlie well, but great to
meet you both. Yeah, mate, can't comment on Charlie because
obviously that would be retrospective.

Speaker 1 (40:25):
It's a rule.

Speaker 3 (40:27):
I mean, it's probably more of a guidelin. We've already
broken at once. Do you want to break it again?

Speaker 1 (40:32):
Do it?

Speaker 2 (40:34):
I just body love him, I want to say, ah,
And I do think there's a bit in dropping in
on the Dark Lord at some stage.

Speaker 1 (40:40):
But if you're a surfer, I'd love to find.

Speaker 2 (40:43):
Out next time he's down on the surf ghost and like,
just if someone can dress up in full Elven costume
and drop in on.

Speaker 1 (40:50):
The Dark Lord, that would be it would be a
hot bit.

Speaker 2 (40:54):
I mean to be dangerous because you'd be in like
Elvan armor in the ocean. So we need to have
a few life savers on the Standbyke, no doubt, could
but an elf dropping in on the dark Lord?

Speaker 4 (41:04):
Would Sarah on? Could you possibly tweak a wet suit
to look sour? Onnie, could you do that? I don't
know about.

Speaker 3 (41:12):
About dark Lord or I'm very out of my depth
right now.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
Anyway, costume operations, we'll figure that out. Yeah, we'lligure that out.
We figure that out.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
The next guest, he was shit hot, He's so funny,
he was really great.

Speaker 1 (41:26):
Jack Whitehall, Hey, hey mate, you got very well.

Speaker 2 (41:29):
Now I'm saying that you're the king of dad jokes.
Now that's not really my bit, to be fair. I
did learn this because I know that you got roasted
by Prince William recently, who effectively said that all of
your jokes were dad jokes.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
I've asked to produce a dad joke.

Speaker 5 (41:44):
So Jack Whitehall are.

Speaker 7 (41:47):
Pretty bad, absolutely outrageous, seemingly nowhere as well. I just
woke up one morning and I was just getting trashed
on social media because the future King of England was
just like sending straight bullet in my direction. He was
doing like a charity visit as well. It was like
totally unprovoked.

Speaker 4 (42:07):
Have you ever met Prince William before Jack.

Speaker 7 (42:10):
Yeah, I met him once. I did this thing in
England called the Royal Variety Show which I hosted, and
I had previously hosted it with his dad there, and
had made a load of jokes in front of his dad.

Speaker 1 (42:23):
Because his wife was at school.

Speaker 7 (42:24):
With me, you know, the whale, and I'd referred to
as the one that got away and made a load
of jokes about how my mom was furious that I
didn't take my shot when I had an opportunity. So
I made all of those jokes and it got back
to him. So then afterwards there was like the Royal lineup,
which is formal and you're stood there. It's all about
like the protocol, and he came up to me and

(42:46):
like gave me a handshake and nearly broke all of
the bones in my hand. You needed to stay away
from my missus Whitehall, so I think, because you know,
there was still a little bit of like beef.

Speaker 1 (42:57):
So they're not errant ballance.

Speaker 2 (42:59):
There were that were fired from a from a charity gig.
There's beef there. You've got You've got beef with the
future King of England. How does it feel? I mean
that that's hard.

Speaker 1 (43:08):
Man it's a great William the Conqueror. I feel like you're.

Speaker 7 (43:12):
Feels. I feel like I maybe would have been like
shoved in the Tower of London. But now all he
can do is insult me in front of a load
of school kids.

Speaker 3 (43:25):
The ball is kind of in your court now, Jack,
do you plan on firing again or are you happy
to put the pistols down at this point?

Speaker 7 (43:32):
You know what, I'm such a brown noser and I
really want the knighthood, so I'm just gonna let it.

Speaker 3 (43:38):
What if you were to be knighted, what would be
what would be the reason you were noted?

Speaker 1 (43:42):
Jack?

Speaker 5 (43:43):
I mean there's absolutely.

Speaker 7 (43:46):
I have just this like litany of jokes at the
Royal family's expense over the years as well. I'm got
in trouble for a couple of them. So I just
feel like it's just such scorched earth and my parents
who are like store.

Speaker 5 (44:00):
Troyalists curious.

Speaker 1 (44:04):
Cards.

Speaker 7 (44:04):
But yeah, I think I've made my bed.

Speaker 3 (44:07):
When you say you get in trouble, is that is
that royal correspondence that's come to you and they say
you've gone a bit too far there, Whitehall.

Speaker 7 (44:14):
No, Actually, I've never had I've never had it from
from them, but I've just been in trouble back home
in like newspapers and dig articles, and for saying great
pretty jokes, because obviously people get very precious when it's
about the royal family.

Speaker 2 (44:28):
So you make it an honorable knighthood for being friend
zoned like famously by the future queen, just like an
honorable mention for having a really solid crack. Yeah, dumplicate
you a super consolation prize, a consolation knighthood.

Speaker 5 (44:47):
Nearly got there.

Speaker 3 (44:49):
Yeah, you did thankfully find another beautiful woman mate. Both
Will and I are also kind of, if you can
describe it as in the trenches. Both got kids around
the age of two. What didn't people tell you about
having a baby?

Speaker 7 (45:06):
I mean, no one warn me. And it's definitely something
that's very much in my mind because I'm about to
fly back from being on Australia for like three days
and it's a really long flight obviously, and I'm still
like jet lagged and have barely slept since I've been here,
and I'm about to go home to my partner, and
it's so present in my mind that I must not

(45:26):
at any point mention that I am tired.

Speaker 2 (45:33):
Really one final flourish woulds a final flurry of feathers
if you will.

Speaker 3 (45:38):
Oh, and very well played there, because we have been
fighting for fifteen years over who would win a race
between a pigeon and a helicopter.

Speaker 1 (45:48):
That's right, Finally we.

Speaker 3 (45:50):
Were able to do that on the radio show. Before
we play you the race, a few things you need
to know. Legalities wise, you couldn't land and where the
pigeon home.

Speaker 4 (46:02):
Was, which was the end of the race. So you
had to land.

Speaker 1 (46:04):
A guy called Joe's house.

Speaker 3 (46:06):
Yeah, Joe who. I have an interesting relationship with Joe.
Sometimes I felt like he loved me. Sometimes I feel
like he hated me. And you're about to hear that
you would be like.

Speaker 1 (46:15):
A father figure, didn't you. Yeah?

Speaker 3 (46:17):
It was interesting, Yeah, and then weirdly by the end
I wanted his approval and I don't think I got it.
But anyway, you had to land on a golf course
and then take a golf cart and then run to
the house.

Speaker 4 (46:28):
I think you need to know that before we play
this order.

Speaker 2 (46:30):
Yeah, I think they're landing on the golf course obviously,
naturally logistically had to happen. I couldn't land on Joe's house, Yes,
and I understand that. I understand it's part of racing
in a helicopter, but.

Speaker 3 (46:41):
I think it's part of the impracticality of a helicopter
over a pigeon.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
Myself.

Speaker 2 (46:46):
Sure, that's fine, but I think the true scientists out there,
those of us that actually want to know whether a
pigeon is faster than a helicopter, probably want to know
who actually did win the race for keeps, I mean
French tainment purposes and all of your hodgepodge in between there,
I'm happy to play ball with you and say that

(47:06):
the result needed to be impacted by me landing on
a golf course. What I will say, however, for you
would he and for everyone else listening, we are going
to get the actual times of the chopper and the
pigeons in covering the distance that they did.

Speaker 1 (47:21):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
Yes, Kate is in here. I'm also on a Kate's
in here. She's tapping away on her laptop. I'm sure
what she's looking out there, probably cats. But when she's done,
she will give us the actual results.

Speaker 1 (47:37):
Okay, but here is.

Speaker 4 (47:39):
The race with a few hurdles for the helicopter.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
Who's going to win a race between a pigeon and
a helicopter.

Speaker 1 (47:46):
We're about to find out it's glow birds. Burt be Burt.

Speaker 4 (47:52):
While Will was getting the chopper ready, I feel pretty
where to go.

Speaker 1 (47:55):
I was waiting patiently at the finish line.

Speaker 4 (47:58):
I'm fully of the belief.

Speaker 3 (47:59):
Based on weather conditions, based on the speed of these birds,
based on the courage of these birds.

Speaker 4 (48:05):
I think they are going to get here.

Speaker 3 (48:06):
First, you were feeling pretty confidence in your machinery, Will, I.

Speaker 2 (48:10):
Hope I mays will do a bit of a scenic number,
then fly over the bay.

Speaker 1 (48:15):
What you decided to give the birds? A pep talk
down the walkie talkie.

Speaker 4 (48:21):
Now, I know your wings are going to hurt. I
know that's going to happen. I know that's going to
be pain.

Speaker 1 (48:25):
But let me tell you something, guys.

Speaker 4 (48:28):
The pain is temporary and I glory is forever.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
Let's fly for each other.

Speaker 4 (48:36):
Let's fight for each other.

Speaker 1 (48:38):
And let's why do you wear this thing? Oh? Why?

Speaker 4 (48:43):
Sounds like they're flapping their wings Alon. I think that's
a really positive side. It was time to begin. On three,
Let's release those birds.

Speaker 14 (48:53):
One two three, release the birds.

Speaker 1 (48:59):
The pigeon that up saw the edges quickly.

Speaker 6 (49:03):
What waiting for.

Speaker 1 (49:05):
Jo. I'm still convinced. Would he definitely cheated at the start?
We've been bordered heat cheeked.

Speaker 4 (49:13):
They said ten o'clock start, it was ten oh five.
I said, release the birds, honest man wouldn't lie.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
And now was a good time for a mid race
check in with Will in his chopper. And I was
feeling good.

Speaker 6 (49:23):
Nmy alright, right, let me do any.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
This is the pilot.

Speaker 4 (49:30):
Aren't you having a stinker? How are you feeling about
your slow start?

Speaker 6 (49:33):
The bad knit view is that.

Speaker 10 (49:38):
We could have parked the right out.

Speaker 1 (49:40):
I don't think so.

Speaker 15 (49:41):
I gave them some rousing speech before I felt like
I needed to give the birds an edge, so I
started rubbing the female birds pheromones on myself to draw
in those hungry males.

Speaker 1 (49:53):
Who were racing to the finish line.

Speaker 4 (49:55):
Rub me, this is what they want.

Speaker 1 (49:57):
Take a bit.

Speaker 4 (49:59):
Ah, sorry mate, sorry, I'm not squeezing. This is science though,
this is what's going to bring a flock in. But
on the horizon, the helicopter repere.

Speaker 6 (50:10):
I can't free the pinion.

Speaker 4 (50:11):
We've we just had a bit of a false alarm.
We saw a helicopter and thought it was you.

Speaker 6 (50:17):
It is me.

Speaker 1 (50:18):
No, it's not.

Speaker 6 (50:19):
It's me.

Speaker 15 (50:20):
I'm waiting on the golf corse.

Speaker 4 (50:21):
Now are you serious?

Speaker 1 (50:24):
But I never doubted my birds. Everyone get back. The
birds are here, the bird here. Everyone get back.

Speaker 4 (50:30):
Everyone's stay calm.

Speaker 10 (50:32):
I don't like if they boarded the propeller.

Speaker 12 (50:37):
Have we won?

Speaker 16 (50:38):
Have we won?

Speaker 9 (50:49):
Ah?

Speaker 2 (50:49):
So it's victory for the pigeons in Willam woodies bird
feet bird well.

Speaker 1 (50:57):
The biggest possible way one of our persons. Someone pop
the champagne.

Speaker 3 (51:05):
Her pigeons champagne.

Speaker 1 (51:10):
Okay, this is winning champagne. Amazing.

Speaker 3 (51:15):
They had a lot of champagne. And again I do
want to get into it. But did end up in
a hot tub with Joe and his brother Charlie.

Speaker 2 (51:24):
Who if you thought Joe was interesting, it's funny how
deep the rabbit hole goes.

Speaker 1 (51:27):
M throw them together? What were they like in the
hot tup? What do you guys get up to?

Speaker 3 (51:33):
Hazy memory? If I'm being honest, Yeah, but yeah, I
learned some stuff that is going to stay with me.
But you know, sanctity of the spa and all, I'm
not going to share. The boys and we were playing
a bit of a game where because the bubbles was
so aggressive.

Speaker 4 (51:47):
Yeah, we were playing a little bit of a drinking
game where it.

Speaker 3 (51:49):
Was like nude or speedos on and we had to Yeah,
a bit of a bit of banter there, you know
what I mean, bubbles are on.

Speaker 1 (52:00):
Yeah, I haven't been there before. Chris was always Chris. Sorry,
he's a cousin. Sorry, party, party gets watered by the
second hear.

Speaker 5 (52:16):
Will complaining as he goes.

Speaker 1 (52:23):
I can't believe it.

Speaker 12 (52:25):
How do I put this?

Speaker 1 (52:26):
Have the girl's got my backpack.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
I've already told me there's a bird in there already
he said.

Speaker 1 (52:32):
It's five birds.

Speaker 5 (52:33):
No, he's not making it.

Speaker 7 (52:36):
No, I know he's not making it.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
He's too happy. I'm not funny running the buddy. They've
already won a bit, DeFi stated at the moment the
girls did have my backpack, which is lucky, Thank goodness.

Speaker 2 (52:48):
We all know all hell breaks lest when I haven't
got that thing. Now we've got Chris in the studio
to read out, to.

Speaker 1 (52:57):
Read result.

Speaker 2 (53:00):
No, because I think the reason I was pissed off
there in that audio without my backpack, bereft of backpack,
is because I knew that you'd cheated.

Speaker 1 (53:10):
You'd send the pigeons off ten minutes.

Speaker 2 (53:12):
Early, or Charlie or Chris whoever knows, whoever it was,
they'd send the pigeons off early. That was a genuine
I know it was a genuine miscommunicator.

Speaker 4 (53:19):
I actually thought we were late and you were waiting
for us. That was the that was the dialogue.

Speaker 1 (53:22):
I got sure whatever, and I said, no.

Speaker 4 (53:25):
Hold off, I want to give a pump up speech.

Speaker 1 (53:26):
All right, mate, I get it, I get it. That
was heavily fifteen minutes. I get it. I get it.

Speaker 2 (53:33):
I mean you are sounding more and more like Bill
Clinton as you continue to defend yourself for this thing.
I did not release those pigeons early.

Speaker 5 (53:41):
I get that, get it.

Speaker 1 (53:43):
Yes, I did not have sexual relations with Gris.

Speaker 2 (53:50):
I think what everyone needs to know is the science
of this experiment is a pigeon ory helicopter faster over
a certain distance.

Speaker 1 (53:57):
And I've got kV in here to give us that
the exact times.

Speaker 14 (54:01):
Resident scientists.

Speaker 1 (54:02):
Why yeah, why are you running this spot?

Speaker 14 (54:04):
Because I have all the footage.

Speaker 2 (54:07):
So you've gone back and like actually countered back, counted
by hand. Yeah, with an advocates, that's what that was
doing out there with a calculator.

Speaker 3 (54:19):
So is your calculation here if we left it exactly
the same time, yep. And have you taken into consideration
have you removed the golf card in and the running?

Speaker 14 (54:28):
No, no, that's still including.

Speaker 4 (54:30):
So it's just who would have won if we actually
left at the same time.

Speaker 16 (54:32):
That's right, amazing, So have the breakdown. So the pigeons,
because I was livid.

Speaker 1 (54:37):
I was absolutely and I knew that. I flew in
as well. You were in the chopper with me. We
were going to two hundred ks an hour. It was
very s it was rapid.

Speaker 4 (54:47):
It's a helicopter pretty quick.

Speaker 1 (54:50):
Don't you much bigger than a don't you dare?

Speaker 14 (54:55):
All right, all right, let's get into it. Yes, the pigeons.

Speaker 16 (55:00):
And this is from the end of your speech and
saying three to one, at least the pigeons to the moment.
The first pigeon came in twenty four minutes and eight seconds.

Speaker 1 (55:11):
Good time. Okay, that's quick done.

Speaker 4 (55:13):
I'm happy with under thirty there.

Speaker 1 (55:14):
How far was the distance?

Speaker 5 (55:16):
By the way, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (55:18):
But you're resignist of time of time distance, isn't my scientist?

Speaker 1 (55:26):
At least that at least how far did they go?
Anlyst she's got no, how far the race was.

Speaker 4 (55:33):
Do you know how far the race was?

Speaker 2 (55:34):
I was saying a hundred k's on air, but I
was just kind of saying that for theatricality.

Speaker 14 (55:38):
Point A to point B is you are very good.

Speaker 1 (55:43):
It's okay good today.

Speaker 16 (55:44):
So from the time the helicopter spotted the pigeons up
to the time that the helicopter arrived. So this isn't
this isn't the final total thirty one minutes, eighty seconds.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
What do you mean from the minute.

Speaker 14 (56:00):
So when you spotted the pigeons, So then I had.

Speaker 2 (56:03):
To run to the helicopter, start the helicopter up, clear
the airfield, talk about our flight plan, have a cup
of tea.

Speaker 1 (56:11):
I had to call my mum. There's lots of things
that you had about you cheat it. And then I
was suspecting that you were having sexual relations with the
guy called Chris.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
That that's an important come anyway, So that there was
a lot going on before we took off, is what
you're saying.

Speaker 14 (56:25):
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (56:26):
So the pigeons did forty k in twenty four minutes.
How quick was the chopper from takeoff to the forty
k mark?

Speaker 14 (56:34):
From lift off to will running into the driveway.

Speaker 1 (56:39):
Hang on from lift off engines going to qualifications.

Speaker 16 (56:43):
From liftoff, I think because turning the engines on, you're
not going anywhere.

Speaker 4 (56:47):
I agree, But that's part of the race.

Speaker 1 (56:50):
No, it's not.

Speaker 3 (56:51):
It feels like your compromise, kV. Why are you team
helicopter because you were on the helicopter.

Speaker 1 (56:56):
Stay out of it.

Speaker 2 (56:58):
But the race is she's the scientist here on so
I have that too, But I think you're no. I
think we just want to know would have pisionary helicopter
winning a race.

Speaker 4 (57:10):
But the question is when from from race time?

Speaker 14 (57:12):
From the race so.

Speaker 1 (57:13):
Already warmed up, Yes, I'm starting the roads.

Speaker 4 (57:16):
Okay, fair enough, Rumian, Well from takeoff?

Speaker 1 (57:18):
This is from take off, it's.

Speaker 4 (57:20):
Like one hundred minutes spring with a wind up start.

Speaker 1 (57:22):
You got.

Speaker 14 (57:24):
Twenty four minutes oh six seconds?

Speaker 1 (57:28):
No, why but that's without me golf carting and then running.

Speaker 14 (57:32):
No, that's including it. That's you into the drug.

Speaker 1 (57:34):
That's including golf carting and running.

Speaker 14 (57:36):
Is that quote two seconds difference?

Speaker 1 (57:38):
But hang on, hang on take off, the golf carting
and the running.

Speaker 14 (57:41):
No, because that you wouldn't have been at Joe's house.

Speaker 1 (57:44):
Take off the golf cutting and the running. I was
there in four minutes, hang like, literally, I would have
been reading. The golf cart took twenty minutes. Yeah, this
dickhead took me on a fucking sceneic to you of
the back nine. I told you that, Are you serious?

Speaker 4 (57:57):
K it took twenty I assumed you'd be than that.

Speaker 2 (58:03):
On the scenic tour of the back nine. We were
literally we were there in fifteen. We would have been
there and somewhere between ten and fifteen minutes.

Speaker 14 (58:09):
The helicopter was much much quicker. It was the golf
carting that so was the helicopter had.

Speaker 1 (58:16):
A tantrum, and then I had he refused, and then
I had Kate and Annalse. We've got a combined go on.

Speaker 14 (58:25):
I'd blame Anly, so the golf leg So we're.

Speaker 4 (58:28):
Pointing things in analyt Oh yeah, we.

Speaker 14 (58:32):
Broke down.

Speaker 1 (58:32):
Anly couldn't drive the cart, and then neither of them
could keep up with me. I did say that in
the footage. Thank you. Let's say that in the footage.

Speaker 3 (58:39):
Hand But what you're saying is, with all those hambourings
in place, it's only a two second winter helicopter.

Speaker 2 (58:46):
Was it?

Speaker 10 (58:46):
No?

Speaker 1 (58:47):
No, you missed that it was a nine minute win
because I landed there in ten to fifteen minutes.

Speaker 3 (58:51):
You still do you not understand about take the two seconds,
I'll take the fifty.

Speaker 1 (58:56):
I'll take the fifteen minute win. Thank you. I'd have
to choose my wins, all right.

Speaker 2 (59:03):
Next week, signs, I think there's a full Missy Higgins
listen for you guys to go and dive into with
her songs.

Speaker 1 (59:10):
Hopefully. I can't guarantee that, but we're speaking of the
record label about that, so fingers crossed. She was brilliant, amazing, amazing,
See you next week. Okay, so good, it's perfect. We

(59:31):
should finish every podcast with this. I'm still going

Speaker 5 (59:37):
It's got another two minutes.