March 21, 2023 • 16 mins
How do parents best support their neuordiverse kids with food?
Topics discussed in today's episode:
- How family meals look different with a neurodivergent child
- Sensory challenges/differences at meal times
- Helping children become aware of their body's needs
- Eating at school
- Food selections
- Autonomy
- Cook/shop together
Learn more about Deb Blakley from Kids Dig Food
To access the Feed Your Picky Eater [without going crazy] evergreen online course for parents: https://kidsdigfood.com.au/resources/
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Get in touch with your questions and feedback to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
time poor parent who just wants answers Now. A few
weeks ago on the Happy Families podcast, we had a
fascinating and genuinely fun conversation with Deb Blakely about kids lunchboxes,
fussy eating at school, and all the challenges around that. Hello,
this is doppor Justin colson On, the founder of Happy
(00:24):
Families dot com dot and the parenting expert on Channel
Line's Parental Guidance. Season two is getting closer now and
Deb joins me again today. Deb Blakely is the founder, director,
and lead, a credited practicing dietitian of Kids Dig Food Today, Deb,
I want to have a conversation with you that kind
of spins off the back of something that we touched
on just briefly in our last chat, and it's something
(00:45):
that comes up a lot in the Happy Families community.
Families who were raising children who are near a diverse
sometimes can really struggle to develop a good relationship with food.
They the kids can be fussy, the kids can be distracted,
The kids can sometimes just say that they don't want
to eat, but they can often end up with a
complicated relationship with food for any number of reasons. Well,
(01:07):
would you like to start with this, how do we
as parents support neurodiverse kids with having a really good
relationship with food?
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Yeah, this is a topic that's really close to my heart,
Justin And I guess the key thing here is to
think about is everything that we're doing neurodiversity of firming.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
And I'm not sure if you've had.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Any podcasts that you've done around what neurodiversity of firming
approaches are, and it goes right across anything that we
do to support neurodivergent kiddos and adults as well. And
so I think in the context of food, we need
to be thinking, Okay, this kiddo is going to likely
(01:53):
have a very different relationship with food than I do.
Perhaps if you're not neurodivergent. Even if you are, and
you're a divergent yourself as an adult, your child is
likely to have a different relationship with food anyway. And
I guess what I mean by that is that.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
We can't look through the lens.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Of the typical when we're supporting neurodivergent kids.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
How does that land for you?
Speaker 1 (02:20):
It makes perfect sense. I mean, we've got kids who
are responding to their environment, they're responding to food, they're
responding to us in ways that are not consistent with
what we see in typical development. So it would make
sense to me that we would want to provide them
with a supportive approach, but we really want to be
attuned to them and what their needs.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Are, right, Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
So the way that can look like in practice is
that family meals may look different for a family within
You're a divergent kid, and there's usually more than one.
You're a divergent person in a family, So sometimes we're
managing the needs of a few different people, as you know,
(03:00):
so neurodivergent people. Some of the ways that that can
look is, you know, sensory challenges or sensory differences. I
like to use the word differences these days, and apologies
to any neurodivergent families out there if I get words wrong.
I'm a lifelong learner as well, so I'm doing my
(03:21):
best to be as neurodiversity affirming as we speak as
I can, but please be gentle if I slip up.
So they might have different sensory needs. So, for example,
a child might find it really difficult to sit at
the table if it's really noisy and there's clattering of
knives and forks and everyone's talking, and maybe the person
(03:42):
next to them choose really loudly, for example, and they
don't like that. Maybe they're not great with big smells.
So some of the things that we can do is
to kind of really understand the experience of that child,
work with a family to say, okay, well, how do
you want times to look like and you know what's
(04:02):
important to you. You know, if coming together as a
family is really important, are there ways that we can
make that easier for your child where everyone can get
their needs met. You know, sometimes eating together might not
be accessible to every family, and so we're working with Okay,
well what's going to work best for you? And that
(04:24):
you know, from my early training, like you know, eating
is a felt like that's what you do, that's the
gold's standard.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
But what I've learned through working with.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Many, many in Eurodrovirgin families is that that's not always
the best thing, you know, and it's not necessary, it's
not necessary always for kids to be doing well with eating.
Sometimes they need something different.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Yeah, I'm really sympathetic to the maturation and developmental processes
that are required as well, even for kids that aren't
near a diverse like I don't think that it's that
necessary or even reasonable to expect that year old or
a four year old, or sometimes even a five or
a six year old is going to sit still and
participate in a family meal every single time. We can
(05:09):
teach them bit by bit, and we should be encouraging
it because we do know, as you said, the gold standard.
When you look at the research, families that sit down
and have a meal together do tend to have better
outcomes on average than families who don't. But there are
so many other circumstances here. So if I was to
wrap that up, I really want to get onto the
food aspect itself. But if I was to wrap up
what you've said at this point, dev what I'm hearing
(05:29):
you say is work with your child, invite your child's
explore where they're up to what seems to work for them.
Something that I didn't hear you say, but I think
is implied. And everything you're suggesting is that this is
going to be an evolution. Like kids, their preferences change
as they age, and as they mature, they'll mature into
or out of certain eating habits and behaviors. What I'm
(05:50):
fascinated about, though, is the actual food issues. So a
lot of kids forget that they need to eat. A
lot of kids completely melt down. They say that they're
not hungry while they're losing the plot, and then five
minutes later they're like, Oh, actually, I really am hungry.
That's why I was having the melt down. How do
we help them to become aware of their body's needs?
And the second thing, something that I've seen a lot
(06:13):
is that neurodiverse kids tend to, on average, be less
inclined to eat foods that are going to be more
sustaining and nutritious for them. They do tend towards the
either the sugary or the junkie or the white or
yellow foods that don't give them the same level of
sustenance as the rainbow, the colorful foods that we usually
want to encourage our kids to eat. Can you touch
(06:35):
on each of those two questions for me?
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
So, first, art forgetting to eat, you know, there can
be lots of reasons for that. And one thing that
we do know is that for the majority of us,
and particularly neurodivergent kids. Routines can be really helpful because
routines create a sense of safety, a sense of reliability.
(07:01):
They know what's going to happen, and that can be
really settling for neurodivergent kiddos who are dealing with so much.
Like if you think about the difference between and your
a typical child and in you're a divergent child, say,
going into the school environment, they are needing to manage
their sensory system, to stay pay attention. All of those
(07:23):
things are so much more difficult, and so again routine
around meal times can really help. And I know with
my own child over the holidays, who is neurodivergent, it
was so much more difficult for them because all of
a sudden the routine was gone. Where actually they find school,
(07:45):
the routine of school, even though they don't do particularly
well eating at school, just the fact that they have
to open their lunch box, like I was finding I
was constantly.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Remind of you eating lunch. Yet, well it's afternoon tea time.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
You know, they're a teen, so you know, I'm trying
to help them be a bit more independent about these things,
which is totally developmentally appropriate. For them, but it was
more challenging because the routine was missing.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
What if we were to talk about the challenge of
food selection, this difficulty around I only want pasta, I
only want rice, I only want cheese, or I want
cheesy pasta, or I'll only eat a cheese pizza, or
that whole rigidity around food choice.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yeah. Absolutely, So, firstly, it's really important to understand why
it's there.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
And for neurodivergent.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
People, sticking to foods that are really familiar and safe
to them is really important because again it's another way
that provides them that stability, that reliability. Change can sometimes
be quite overwhelming, and their foods that I will say
(09:03):
they're usually eating foods are incredibly important to them.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
And so we need to look at.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
This challenge not through a the littlens of a neurotypical person.
We need to look at it from the perspective of
the neurodivergent person. So the first thing I do as
a dietitian if a family comes to me concerned about variety,
is that we will actually have a look at the
(09:31):
breadth of the foods that the child has. And sometimes
a child, even though they look like they're eating a
really limited food range. They're still having one or two
foods from each food group, or maybe maybe a few more.
And you know, when we run that through our food
(09:52):
assessment programs, some electronic programs we use that we can
some of us dieticians who are really tricky can actually
do it in their heads. You know, we can work out, okay, well,
is this person meeting most of their nutrition needs? And
it's always really curious to me in the majority of
cases that kids that have this really limited diet are
(10:14):
actually meeting their nutrition needs from that limited range. So again,
you know, this is this idea that we all have
to have this amazing array of foods I think we
need to put to one side in order to be
able to support our neurodivergent folk.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
So it can be really damaging to do that.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Okay, all right. I love talking to you, deb because
these conversations tend to remind me I'm a little bit
extra when it comes to food. I want the kids
to be getting So my mum trained as a dietitian,
and so I've had it ingrained in me that you've
got to eat the whole meal, bread and if you
can get seeds in that's even better. And I've had
(10:56):
it drummed into me that you need to eat the rainbow.
The more colorful foods are on their plate, the better,
And things like eggs have got a I can't remember
what it is, a nutritional value of one. Apparently that's
a really good thing. And so all of these things
have been drummed into me. And while I know from
a parenting point of view, how important is that my
kids have a voice and that things are predictable and
(11:17):
they feel safe, and all the things that you've talked about,
the conversations that I have with you remind me to
just stop sweating the small stuff. Make sure the kids
are eating, make sure they're not malnourished, and they'll probably
be okay. I guess as well. Something that I've watched
having raised six children. Our eldest is married and moved
out at our youngest is eight, but we've we've got
(11:37):
six kids across fifteen years. What we've also noticed is
as they get older, their taste matures, they start to
become more experimental. They start to open up and say, hm, well,
everyone keeps saying that avocado is really nice on wraps,
and I've said no, for the last fourteen years. But
tonight I think I'm going to try the guacamole. I
think I'll just have a little bit and see what happens.
(11:59):
I might put a little bit of chili on my
whatever it is. We've actually watched it happen, and every
time it does happen, every time we see one of
these younger kids who's been so obstinate and so rigid
around their food make a small concession and say, Okay,
I'll give it a go, it reminds me that's right.
They will, They will figure it out, They'll get there.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
And what you speak to their is autonomy. So the
difference in that experience with your children who all of
a sudden, spontaneously decide they want to try avocado, is
that it was I bet it was their idea in
the moment.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
There might have been eight or ten years of come on,
you want to give it a go tonight, But it's
never been forceful. It's never been you need to eat this.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
What I've found in my clinical experience is that the
process and the progress can seem super slow, But the
way we keep things safe for neurodivergent children and the
way we allow them to blossom into whatever food direction
they're going to go. Is to provide that safety for
(13:07):
families to really step away from pressure. And you know,
again you know your example of you know, come on,
just try it. Some kids will be fine with that,
some kids really won't. And I encourage families out there
to look at their own children and their own experience
of their children to decide is this helpful for my
(13:27):
child and is it not? I warrant to say that
for most children, if it's not unhelpful, it's probably.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Not necessary as long.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
As we continue to give children the opportunity so mine
neurodivergent kiddo loves completely different foods to me.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
There are some foods that I absolutely adore that they
really don't like.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
I love that you said that. It makes me think.
I remember saying to a parent once they were saying,
my kid is so fussy around food, and I said, well,
you're you're fussy around food as well. It's just that
you get to buy the food that you like. Well, like,
we're all fussy, we all know what we do and
don't like. It's just that as the parents, we're in
charge of whereas this poor kid just has to eat
what we say that they're going to like because we
(14:17):
happen to like that food and want to cook it.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Yeah, and sometimes it's about presenting foods in ways that
you know can help neurodivergent kids to kind of you
know that that's acceptable for them. They'll give you a
couple of examples. So and again, everybody's different. This is
not going to work for every neurodivergent child. However, some
(14:39):
of the families I've worked with over a very long
period of time, we've worked out that, you know, particular
children really love that process of being alongside the parents
and being involved in some kind of cooking activity or
food prep, or maybe they love going to the supermarket.
And what we can do then is build on that
(15:00):
curiosity wherever it comes up around food to give that
child more chance to be autonomous, more chance to have
success and feel like they're capable around food. And we
start to see these little glimmers of success that happen,
(15:21):
but they're not directed by us, and I think that's
the difference. So, you know, when we're working with neurodivergent families,
with neurodivergent children, we need to really sit back and
listen and understand and really take on board what the
families are telling us, what the children are telling us
about what they need, and be guided by their interests,
(15:44):
by their curiosity. Because when kids are safe enough, feel
calm enough, comfortable enough, which can need to be sticking
to all of their safe foods for a pretty long time,
we then start to sometimes see these little areas of
light where we can support those kids.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
To do more with food.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Grateful to hear that there is hope. Deb Blakelee is
the founder, director, and lead a credited practicing dietitian at
Kidsdigfood dot com dot au. You can find her online
and of course meet up with her for consultations and
get all the help that you need for kids and
fussy eating. Deb, great to be with you. Thank you
so much for joining us on the podcast again. Thanks Justin,
(16:27):
look forward to talking to you again soon. I've got
another handful of questions that I want to ask you
as a result of this conversation, so we'll have to
book that in. The Happy Families podcast is produced by
Justin Roland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive
producer and if you'd like more info about how to
make your family have you check out Deb's website Kids
digfood dot com dot you, or visit us at happy
families dot com dot au
It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
time poor parent who just wants answers Now. A few
weeks ago on the Happy Families podcast, we had a
fascinating and genuinely fun conversation with Deb Blakely about kids lunchboxes,
fussy eating at school, and all the challenges around that. Hello,
this is doppor Justin colson On, the founder of Happy
(00:24):
Families dot com dot and the parenting expert on Channel
Line's Parental Guidance. Season two is getting closer now and
Deb joins me again today. Deb Blakely is the founder, director,
and lead, a credited practicing dietitian of Kids Dig Food Today, Deb,
I want to have a conversation with you that kind
of spins off the back of something that we touched
on just briefly in our last chat, and it's something
(00:45):
that comes up a lot in the Happy Families community.
Families who were raising children who are near a diverse
sometimes can really struggle to develop a good relationship with food.
They the kids can be fussy, the kids can be distracted,
The kids can sometimes just say that they don't want
to eat, but they can often end up with a
complicated relationship with food for any number of reasons. Well,
(01:07):
would you like to start with this, how do we
as parents support neurodiverse kids with having a really good
relationship with food?
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Yeah, this is a topic that's really close to my heart,
Justin And I guess the key thing here is to
think about is everything that we're doing neurodiversity of firming.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
And I'm not sure if you've had.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Any podcasts that you've done around what neurodiversity of firming
approaches are, and it goes right across anything that we
do to support neurodivergent kiddos and adults as well. And
so I think in the context of food, we need
to be thinking, Okay, this kiddo is going to likely
(01:53):
have a very different relationship with food than I do.
Perhaps if you're not neurodivergent. Even if you are, and
you're a divergent yourself as an adult, your child is
likely to have a different relationship with food anyway. And
I guess what I mean by that is that.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
We can't look through the lens.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Of the typical when we're supporting neurodivergent kids.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
How does that land for you?
Speaker 1 (02:20):
It makes perfect sense. I mean, we've got kids who
are responding to their environment, they're responding to food, they're
responding to us in ways that are not consistent with
what we see in typical development. So it would make
sense to me that we would want to provide them
with a supportive approach, but we really want to be
attuned to them and what their needs.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Are, right, Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
So the way that can look like in practice is
that family meals may look different for a family within
You're a divergent kid, and there's usually more than one.
You're a divergent person in a family, So sometimes we're
managing the needs of a few different people, as you know,
(03:00):
so neurodivergent people. Some of the ways that that can
look is, you know, sensory challenges or sensory differences. I
like to use the word differences these days, and apologies
to any neurodivergent families out there if I get words wrong.
I'm a lifelong learner as well, so I'm doing my
(03:21):
best to be as neurodiversity affirming as we speak as
I can, but please be gentle if I slip up.
So they might have different sensory needs. So, for example,
a child might find it really difficult to sit at
the table if it's really noisy and there's clattering of
knives and forks and everyone's talking, and maybe the person
(03:42):
next to them choose really loudly, for example, and they
don't like that. Maybe they're not great with big smells.
So some of the things that we can do is
to kind of really understand the experience of that child,
work with a family to say, okay, well, how do
you want times to look like and you know what's
(04:02):
important to you. You know, if coming together as a
family is really important, are there ways that we can
make that easier for your child where everyone can get
their needs met. You know, sometimes eating together might not
be accessible to every family, and so we're working with Okay,
well what's going to work best for you? And that
(04:24):
you know, from my early training, like you know, eating
is a felt like that's what you do, that's the
gold's standard.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
But what I've learned through working with.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Many, many in Eurodrovirgin families is that that's not always
the best thing, you know, and it's not necessary, it's
not necessary always for kids to be doing well with eating.
Sometimes they need something different.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Yeah, I'm really sympathetic to the maturation and developmental processes
that are required as well, even for kids that aren't
near a diverse like I don't think that it's that
necessary or even reasonable to expect that year old or
a four year old, or sometimes even a five or
a six year old is going to sit still and
participate in a family meal every single time. We can
(05:09):
teach them bit by bit, and we should be encouraging
it because we do know, as you said, the gold standard.
When you look at the research, families that sit down
and have a meal together do tend to have better
outcomes on average than families who don't. But there are
so many other circumstances here. So if I was to
wrap that up, I really want to get onto the
food aspect itself. But if I was to wrap up
what you've said at this point, dev what I'm hearing
(05:29):
you say is work with your child, invite your child's
explore where they're up to what seems to work for them.
Something that I didn't hear you say, but I think
is implied. And everything you're suggesting is that this is
going to be an evolution. Like kids, their preferences change
as they age, and as they mature, they'll mature into
or out of certain eating habits and behaviors. What I'm
(05:50):
fascinated about, though, is the actual food issues. So a
lot of kids forget that they need to eat. A
lot of kids completely melt down. They say that they're
not hungry while they're losing the plot, and then five
minutes later they're like, Oh, actually, I really am hungry.
That's why I was having the melt down. How do
we help them to become aware of their body's needs?
And the second thing, something that I've seen a lot
(06:13):
is that neurodiverse kids tend to, on average, be less
inclined to eat foods that are going to be more
sustaining and nutritious for them. They do tend towards the
either the sugary or the junkie or the white or
yellow foods that don't give them the same level of
sustenance as the rainbow, the colorful foods that we usually
want to encourage our kids to eat. Can you touch
(06:35):
on each of those two questions for me?
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
So, first, art forgetting to eat, you know, there can
be lots of reasons for that. And one thing that
we do know is that for the majority of us,
and particularly neurodivergent kids. Routines can be really helpful because
routines create a sense of safety, a sense of reliability.
(07:01):
They know what's going to happen, and that can be
really settling for neurodivergent kiddos who are dealing with so much.
Like if you think about the difference between and your
a typical child and in you're a divergent child, say,
going into the school environment, they are needing to manage
their sensory system, to stay pay attention. All of those
(07:23):
things are so much more difficult, and so again routine
around meal times can really help. And I know with
my own child over the holidays, who is neurodivergent, it
was so much more difficult for them because all of
a sudden the routine was gone. Where actually they find school,
(07:45):
the routine of school, even though they don't do particularly
well eating at school, just the fact that they have
to open their lunch box, like I was finding I
was constantly.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Remind of you eating lunch. Yet, well it's afternoon tea time.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
You know, they're a teen, so you know, I'm trying
to help them be a bit more independent about these things,
which is totally developmentally appropriate. For them, but it was
more challenging because the routine was missing.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
What if we were to talk about the challenge of
food selection, this difficulty around I only want pasta, I
only want rice, I only want cheese, or I want
cheesy pasta, or I'll only eat a cheese pizza, or
that whole rigidity around food choice.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yeah. Absolutely, So, firstly, it's really important to understand why
it's there.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
And for neurodivergent.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
People, sticking to foods that are really familiar and safe
to them is really important because again it's another way
that provides them that stability, that reliability. Change can sometimes
be quite overwhelming, and their foods that I will say
(09:03):
they're usually eating foods are incredibly important to them.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
And so we need to look at.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
This challenge not through a the littlens of a neurotypical person.
We need to look at it from the perspective of
the neurodivergent person. So the first thing I do as
a dietitian if a family comes to me concerned about variety,
is that we will actually have a look at the
(09:31):
breadth of the foods that the child has. And sometimes
a child, even though they look like they're eating a
really limited food range. They're still having one or two
foods from each food group, or maybe maybe a few more.
And you know, when we run that through our food
(09:52):
assessment programs, some electronic programs we use that we can
some of us dieticians who are really tricky can actually
do it in their heads. You know, we can work out, okay, well,
is this person meeting most of their nutrition needs? And
it's always really curious to me in the majority of
cases that kids that have this really limited diet are
(10:14):
actually meeting their nutrition needs from that limited range. So again,
you know, this is this idea that we all have
to have this amazing array of foods I think we
need to put to one side in order to be
able to support our neurodivergent folk.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
So it can be really damaging to do that.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Okay, all right. I love talking to you, deb because
these conversations tend to remind me I'm a little bit
extra when it comes to food. I want the kids
to be getting So my mum trained as a dietitian,
and so I've had it ingrained in me that you've
got to eat the whole meal, bread and if you
can get seeds in that's even better. And I've had
(10:56):
it drummed into me that you need to eat the rainbow.
The more colorful foods are on their plate, the better,
And things like eggs have got a I can't remember
what it is, a nutritional value of one. Apparently that's
a really good thing. And so all of these things
have been drummed into me. And while I know from
a parenting point of view, how important is that my
kids have a voice and that things are predictable and
(11:17):
they feel safe, and all the things that you've talked about,
the conversations that I have with you remind me to
just stop sweating the small stuff. Make sure the kids
are eating, make sure they're not malnourished, and they'll probably
be okay. I guess as well. Something that I've watched
having raised six children. Our eldest is married and moved
out at our youngest is eight, but we've we've got
(11:37):
six kids across fifteen years. What we've also noticed is
as they get older, their taste matures, they start to
become more experimental. They start to open up and say, hm, well,
everyone keeps saying that avocado is really nice on wraps,
and I've said no, for the last fourteen years. But
tonight I think I'm going to try the guacamole. I
think I'll just have a little bit and see what happens.
(11:59):
I might put a little bit of chili on my
whatever it is. We've actually watched it happen, and every
time it does happen, every time we see one of
these younger kids who's been so obstinate and so rigid
around their food make a small concession and say, Okay,
I'll give it a go, it reminds me that's right.
They will, They will figure it out, They'll get there.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
And what you speak to their is autonomy. So the
difference in that experience with your children who all of
a sudden, spontaneously decide they want to try avocado, is
that it was I bet it was their idea in
the moment.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
There might have been eight or ten years of come on,
you want to give it a go tonight, But it's
never been forceful. It's never been you need to eat this.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
What I've found in my clinical experience is that the
process and the progress can seem super slow, But the
way we keep things safe for neurodivergent children and the
way we allow them to blossom into whatever food direction
they're going to go. Is to provide that safety for
(13:07):
families to really step away from pressure. And you know,
again you know your example of you know, come on,
just try it. Some kids will be fine with that,
some kids really won't. And I encourage families out there
to look at their own children and their own experience
of their children to decide is this helpful for my
(13:27):
child and is it not? I warrant to say that
for most children, if it's not unhelpful, it's probably.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Not necessary as long.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
As we continue to give children the opportunity so mine
neurodivergent kiddo loves completely different foods to me.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
There are some foods that I absolutely adore that they
really don't like.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
I love that you said that. It makes me think.
I remember saying to a parent once they were saying,
my kid is so fussy around food, and I said, well,
you're you're fussy around food as well. It's just that
you get to buy the food that you like. Well, like,
we're all fussy, we all know what we do and
don't like. It's just that as the parents, we're in
charge of whereas this poor kid just has to eat
what we say that they're going to like because we
(14:17):
happen to like that food and want to cook it.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Yeah, and sometimes it's about presenting foods in ways that
you know can help neurodivergent kids to kind of you
know that that's acceptable for them. They'll give you a
couple of examples. So and again, everybody's different. This is
not going to work for every neurodivergent child. However, some
(14:39):
of the families I've worked with over a very long
period of time, we've worked out that, you know, particular
children really love that process of being alongside the parents
and being involved in some kind of cooking activity or
food prep, or maybe they love going to the supermarket.
And what we can do then is build on that
(15:00):
curiosity wherever it comes up around food to give that
child more chance to be autonomous, more chance to have
success and feel like they're capable around food. And we
start to see these little glimmers of success that happen,
(15:21):
but they're not directed by us, and I think that's
the difference. So, you know, when we're working with neurodivergent families,
with neurodivergent children, we need to really sit back and
listen and understand and really take on board what the
families are telling us, what the children are telling us
about what they need, and be guided by their interests,
(15:44):
by their curiosity. Because when kids are safe enough, feel
calm enough, comfortable enough, which can need to be sticking
to all of their safe foods for a pretty long time,
we then start to sometimes see these little areas of
light where we can support those kids.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
To do more with food.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Grateful to hear that there is hope. Deb Blakelee is
the founder, director, and lead a credited practicing dietitian at
Kidsdigfood dot com dot au. You can find her online
and of course meet up with her for consultations and
get all the help that you need for kids and
fussy eating. Deb, great to be with you. Thank you
so much for joining us on the podcast again. Thanks Justin,
(16:27):
look forward to talking to you again soon. I've got
another handful of questions that I want to ask you
as a result of this conversation, so we'll have to
book that in. The Happy Families podcast is produced by
Justin Roland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive
producer and if you'd like more info about how to
make your family have you check out Deb's website Kids
digfood dot com dot you, or visit us at happy
families dot com dot au
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