October 31, 2025 • 30 mins
On this episode Loren LoRosa is joined by Cyntoia Brown, Randall Long and Pastor Maria Durso for a very honest conversation about seeing God in the thick of your mess.
Cyntoia has an incredible story to tell of perseverance and faith after surviving sex trafficking and being sentenced to life in prison at age 16. Randall Long, a Delaware native, founded the Color Coded Kids Foundation and speaks about community engagement, especially with kids. And Pastor Maria Durso, brings fire and first hand experience to the fight against languishing outside of the Lord.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
The tourist.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm a homegrowl that knows a little bit about everything
and everybody.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
You don't know if you don't lie about that.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Right, Hey, y'all, what's up. It's Lauren Rosa and this
is the latest with Lauren de Rosa. This is your
DELI dig on all things pop culture, entertainment, news, and
all of the conversations that.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Shake the room.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Baby.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Now, I have been on an HBCU tour. You guys know,
I've been all over but we ended the tour literally
this week in real time. I'm recording this. We ended
it yesterday as Delaware State University defeated Norfolk State University
at Lincoln Financial Field, which is the stadium where the
Eagles play. DeShawn Jackson for Delaware State University versus Mike
(00:45):
Vick for Norfolk State University was a huge game. Over
forty seven thousand people. Over forty seven thousand people purchase tickets, y'all.
I was told by the end of the night by
the president of Delaware State University, doctor Tony Allen, that
they were looking at making a profit which they would
then use to put back into the school and look
(01:08):
out for Norfolk a bit because it's a home game
for Dell State. They were looking at a profit of
over a million dollars. Let me tell y'all something, Okay.
When I was at Delaware State University, I was literally
told going to this school is going to make it
so hard for people to ever know who you are,
what you want to do, and for you to work
(01:29):
in the industry you want to work in. It takes
one small person, one small dream, and a whole lot
of faith and a whole lot of God to be
able to break barriers where people are like, wow, what
hold on? What is that transformation? What's happening? And that
has been the story of Delaware State University. You know
now Norfolk State University, Jackson State and what Deon Sanders
(01:52):
did there because somebody had a vision, a dream, but
also somebody was really tapped into their spirituality and their faith.
And God said to the listen, I need y'all to
go over here, climb this mountain, and then you'll be
able to make away for other people. So as I'm
recovering from all of the events that we hosted at
Norfolk State University and you know, ending our HBCU Alumni
(02:14):
tour that we do for Bronco grinding and myself, Laura
le Rosa, as you know, I recover from all of that.
I wanted to share a conversation that is very much
in the vein of that, the faith of a mustard seed.
And but God, so let's get on into a convo
I sat down in conversation with Cintoya Brown Long, and
a lot of you guys may have heard her story.
(02:36):
Cintoya Brown Long is an American author, a speaker, and
a criminal justice reform advocate. She was a victim of
sex trafficking as a minor, and she served fifteen years
in prison for murder after she shot and killed a
man who solicited her four sex and originally her sentence
was fifty one years behind bars. But God, we also
(02:58):
were joining in this conversation by my readors. Who's a pastor,
a faith leader in a woman who has lived lives? Okay,
I mean she has done makeup for some of the
biggest celebrities and models in the entertainment business. But all
of that comes with some things for some people. And
by some things I mean addiction. I mean, you know,
(03:20):
losing it all and having to gain it all back
through faith and realizing God. Now as a former lead
pastor of Christ Tabernacle, a huge congregation which was also
the first church to be born out of the Brooklyn Tabernacle,
Maria takes, you know, all these lived experiences as that
(03:42):
top celebrity makeup artist.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
At one point, a woman who.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Went through years of really intense drug use, I mean
like almost didn't make it to see today, a type
of drug use. But you know, she has come about
of that and now she is using her faith to
transform and to have conversations, transformative conversations with others. And lastly,
but totally not least in this conversation, you guys will
hear from Randall Long Randa is the creative mind behind
(04:06):
the cool world mascot Cooley with numerous children's clinic.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Now, Cooley is more than just a character.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Randall likes to say that Koy is a figure that
represents unity, diversity, and acceptance, all these things which are
you know, really close to his heart. But all this
creativity is utilized the best of what Randal does as
he is ministering and honestly developing children. And when I
say developing, I mean like really pouring into them. And
(04:34):
you know, tapping into their creative and you know, just
using his story to inspire others. That's the common thread here.
It's inspiration faith of a muster seed. Let's get on
into the conversation. I think you guys are enjoying this one.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
When you look back over your story, what seems out
as your turning point, you know, at the moment when
Payne begins to give purpose.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Go ahead, lady first.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
I think a.
Speaker 5 (05:01):
Turning point for me when I saw that there was
purpose in my pain was when my now husband had
challenged me.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
I was speaking about my situation for.
Speaker 5 (05:12):
Those of those of y'all or I didn't hear that introduction,
but I spent fifteen years incarcerated.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
I was sentenced to life.
Speaker 5 (05:18):
In prison, was supposed to be sixty seven years old.
Before I got out. All my bills had been denied.
I had none left. And I received the letter in
the mail from my now husband, and that started us
going back and forth, having conversations. And when I told
him how I was pretty much frustrated with God, but
I didn't believe he was real.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
He challenged me and he said, he told you he
was finished.
Speaker 5 (05:43):
And I had kind of written my own end I
thought that was it, like there was nothing but ashes, right,
But it helped me to see that, you know, God
is really doing something with this. Let me sit back
and let him finish. And so I think that was
a turning point for me. And then the way at
it and unfolded. I saw that if I hadn't gone
through all that I had gone through, I wouldn't be
(06:04):
able to do the things that I am now testifying
about how good he was said about how there is
awake out.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah, closure for you guys, you know talking about you
know what some of your guys have been like, Yo,
what you've been through?
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Did you guys recognize God when he met you with
your moss?
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Did you know it was him?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Or what would you feel in our experience and you
had not it happened.
Speaker 5 (06:28):
So for me, I don't feel that I really recognized
it was him, and that was because it was I
was in such a funk from everything that I went through,
like so much anger had consumed me that I had
convinced myself that he wasn't real.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
And so while I knew there was something that.
Speaker 5 (06:42):
Would keep me holding on and pushing forward, I knew
there was something that would tell me, You're not going
to spend the rest of your life in prison. I
called it everything but him. I said, it was the universe.
But the universe was looking out for me, and you
know all these things that you hear, But it was
him all along. And it wasn't until I saw in
his hints I started acknowledging that it was him that
(07:04):
I learned to call a m of Jesus. And I said,
you know, it was him all along, And I started
saying the way he showed up. But yeah, I was
so angry that I didn't I wouldn't even acknowledge that
it was him.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Well I had. I had a definite encounter with God.
Speaker 6 (07:21):
I was crazy out of my mind to drugs from
the age of ten to twenty five.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
I've overdosed on harrowin three times.
Speaker 6 (07:30):
I've been arrested, try to commit suicide.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Find the man of my dreams.
Speaker 6 (07:35):
Go on this vacation to Mexico, worked and burked off.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Goodman.
Speaker 6 (07:38):
If famous people's makeup, and I have everything the world
says I need in order to be happy. I had
design a luggage. I had more change through the snoop
Dog got out.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
I did. I did.
Speaker 6 (07:51):
If it was on the cover Cosmopolitan or Vogue.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
I had it. But we get to my new boyfriend, we.
Speaker 6 (07:59):
Get to this vacation spot in Mexico. He smuggled in,
I smumbled in, I'm sorry, three thousand dollars worth of cocaine.
I see how God has protected.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
Me so many times. And on this ten.
Speaker 6 (08:14):
Day vacation, as the days are going on, I'm emptier
and emptier and emptier.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
I never heard her being born again.
Speaker 6 (08:22):
Imagine that I knew where to I knew where to
get the latest haircut. I never waited online to get
into a club.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
I knew every DJ, but I did not know we
could be born again, have a new life.
Speaker 6 (08:35):
And as the days going on, I have everything the
world says I have in order to be happy.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
I'm successful.
Speaker 6 (08:43):
This guy loves me, he's good looking, but I'm empty.
And you know, we all have that emptiness inside of us,
and the only one that could feel it is God.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
He's the only one.
Speaker 6 (08:54):
And all of a sudden, as the fifth day to
this ten day vacation, I felt like some he was
screaming inside of me, help me, help me, And I
didn't know who to tell because I didn't know what
it was So my boyfriend went out for a walk
on the beach one night and I stayed in the
room and I decided to talk to God. But I
didn't talk to him the way we talked to him.
(09:16):
I shook my fist and I called him every name
in the book, and I said, what kind of God
are you? What kind of got are you? What is
this thing called life? I feel like a dog chasing
her tail. And in this room, this holy God that
should have struck me dead, with my filthy mouth, with
my immorality, with it all, he said my name, and
(09:38):
it was not audible, it was internal.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
You have to know my name.
Speaker 6 (09:43):
When I was born, my mother died. I have no
name on my birth certificate.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
He knew my name. He knows your name.
Speaker 6 (09:51):
And he said the name Maria, and he said, give
me your life before it's too late.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
And I knew that.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
I knew it was God. I did it.
Speaker 6 (10:00):
You know his name was Jesus. I didn't know anything,
but I knew that I knew. My boyfriend came back
from this walk on the beach fifteen minutes and I said, Michael,
when we go back home, when you go to church
with me? He said church? He said, you need a
smoke a joiner. And then when I was leaving this
(10:21):
vacation spot, they offered me a job.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
They said, we know you're.
Speaker 6 (10:25):
Not married, and why don't you stay here and be
a host. And I turned to my boyfriend and I said,
that's the zebral.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
He doesn't want me to go home and go to church.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Now.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
My boyfriend's like, first you hear God, and now you know.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Who you're joy is. He said.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
We had definitely cramping home up. When we get back
to this apartment.
Speaker 6 (10:42):
We had just in the din together and I had
a telephone and I called a friend of mine and
I said, I got to talk to you. I did
not know any Christians. I didn't even know there was
such a thing as a Christian. And I said I
got to talk to you. And she said hurry up.
And I said, Barbara, I need God my life. And
Barbara said, praise the Lord.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
I said, praise the who. She said, well you were gone.
Some hippie preached the gospel to her. I'm thirty of
our friends.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
She said.
Speaker 6 (11:14):
We held hands and we said Lord save Michael and
Maria in Mexico. And that was the night that voice
spoke to me. In that hotel, some to church and
we gave our lives to Christ.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
And that was fifty years ago in September.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
So for all of you guys, how did you deal
with I mean, if there was Shane, right, how did
you deal with?
Speaker 6 (11:49):
Now?
Speaker 4 (11:49):
I'm going to take everything I've been through in my
story to help other people into doing that.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
You got to be very honest about.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
What you've been through and how do you fell and
all these things, and not everybody receives it.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
The best all the time. How do you guys deal
with that?
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Even today when you're going around and sharing your.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Story and you know, ministering to people, dealing with people
that might not you know, receive it the best of me,
but also dealing with any.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Internal shame or guilts that you may experience. So for me.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
Coming through the way that I came through, the way
that the Lord brought me through, it's just it's so
amazing what he did with me. I can't help but
tell someone. I can't help but tell other young girls
in my situation that there is a different way of life,
that there's a way of life out for you somebody
who's in that situation right now. I'm so excited to
let them know that life the Lord, he's got a
(12:40):
plan for you. He can bring you out of this.
Like you said, you just keep walking. And so shame
is never even a thought. And I know where shame
comes from, and it's not from my Lord. So it
has nothing to do with me, has no part of
my identity, has no room in my life.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
So it's not even an issue. It's not even a thought.
Speaker 6 (12:58):
You know.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
And when you when you.
Speaker 5 (13:01):
When you get brought through something, when you have that testimony,
it doesn't become hard.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
I know a lot of people like to.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
Ask you whenever I share my story, isn't it hard
for you to relive no money?
Speaker 3 (13:13):
I know how it ends. Yeah, so sad and so
there's only glory to him.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
And so I tell anybody who listening, if you don't
want to listen, I'll tell you anyway.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Thank you for that.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
So a question for you, So you're really passionate about
investing in the next generation, especially children of color, Why
is that mission so personal for you?
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Why is it so personal for me? One I like
to empower all.
Speaker 7 (13:44):
Two the reason why I love the empower kids of color,
people of color, is because I.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Know I grew up in the nineties and eighties.
Speaker 7 (13:53):
Baby, I mean that look like it, but I know
that by seeing certain communities, I see there's a lack
of male presence. And the reason why I go so
hard in what I do and showing empowerment through creativity
and different forms of empowerment. These kids are so used
(14:15):
to seeing people come in and out of their lives.
And I noticed by doing certain backtive schools and speaking
at certain schools, that some individuals come into schools and yes, they'll.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Do their projects and then they'll move on to things.
Speaker 7 (14:29):
That's not to say that certain schools can.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Go a different route, but the thing is that there's
no consistency in these kids' lives.
Speaker 7 (14:37):
And one of the ethnic groups that lack it is
people of color. They see people come in and out
of their lives. I see at different community events where
there's less men or champion. Kudos to our mothers and
our grandmothers and things of that nature, but we need
(14:57):
more men that's going to stand up and I actually
show up to events, put on events that actually empower
you and not.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Be laxadaticle about it.
Speaker 7 (15:07):
Because the majority of our kids, when they see us
put effort into things, they show up as their best.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
So the reason why.
Speaker 7 (15:15):
I love empowering people of color is that I like
to show them that it is possible. I was born
after my left ear, I was placed in special education.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
There were so.
Speaker 7 (15:26):
Many labels where it kept me in a mental prison
of walking through life because every great opportunity that I
did have, I wasn't capable of walking into it because
I was in a mental prison, basically allowing my past
to take every step by talk so by numbing the pain,
new alcohol or drugs, party and sex, foreign things of
(15:49):
that nature. Our communities, our kids, they need to see
men of color, men in general show up. That's what
we need.
Speaker 5 (16:00):
Thank you for that.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
You can do the work that you're got too. So
I said, thank you for the work that you do too.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
I'm sitting here and just I don't have kids, but
I have a niece, and my niece is ten, and.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
As I'm watching her grow up, one.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
Of the hardest things for me is that I can't
protect her from like the world of things right, and
it always makes me think, like when I was younger
and my mom was trying to teach me things, why
she tried to insteal certain things because your kids go
out to the world and you just got to rely
on what you've taught them. And there were people in
my life that I came across, Like I know, it's hey,
you spoke earlier, but like there were people in my
(16:33):
life that I came across, people like you, that helped to, like,
you know, reinforce things as it was happening. And you
guys are so important because sometimes we don't be heard
in our house, but then we go into the world
and we forget it or you know, So just appreciate
what you're doing.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
I'm really sitting here.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
Thinking like, wow, what you're doing is really gonna you
know what I mean, Like it's really going to help
and change people's lives because it did it for me.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
So appreciate you. But thanks for being here to really
no one question for you, Saintboya.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
Now that you're advocating for victims of trafficking and criminal
justice reform, what drives you to keep sharing your story?
Speaker 2 (17:09):
And you talked about this, you know you don't the
memories that you have aren't painful for you because you
know how it ends.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
But what drives you to keep telling your story.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
In ways in ways that reach people where they feel
like they want to come and think about what the
end of their story will be and not where they
are right now. Like, how are you pushing these women
or even men to be able to see or know
they're in so that they're not afraid to come and
share things with you?
Speaker 3 (17:39):
So how I do it?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (17:40):
I just show up as me authentically, and you know,
there's nothing that's talk to the table. We have conversations, to
be honest with you. When I go into facilities, I
go where they are. A lot of the girls that
I serve, they're currently incarcerated in facilities. I go into
the facilities and sometimes we just sit and we just
have crafts.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
We just do crafts are two crafts.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
A lot of conversations are had over glittered and they
just open up. Some of the toughest you know, kids
that are freaking have it throughout the week of the facilities,
they just melt when it comes to needed bracelets. I
don't know what the science is, but that's my thing,
and we just we just talk. We just have honest conversations, and.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
I feel like that's really important. Another thing that's important.
Speaker 5 (18:21):
Is that I show up consistently because they desire that
consistent there's this consistency again, consistent healthy relationship, and so
a lot of these young girls, they're struggling with the
same thing many of us have encountered, and that's this
attack on identity, Like the enemy has this huge assignment
attackness and our identity, and that's something that I face.
(18:41):
But meeting them where they are meeting them from who
they are, letting them just as they are, that's really
I guess if I had a strategy, that's what my
strategy is. But it's really important for me to also
do the other side of my work, going out and
speaking about my experience because I remember when I was
young and I didn't identify as a quote unquote trafficking victim,
(19:03):
because the whole discourse on human trafficking was you get
snatched off the street and thrown into a white van
and held in abasement somewhere. For girls like me who
were living on the streets as runaways and did things
that we were taught you needed to do in order
to survive, we were considered fast or promiscuous.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
We were considered doing things that were an act of
volition instead.
Speaker 5 (19:28):
Of being violated as children by adults, And so having
that conversation is really important because there are other young
people who may be going through that, maybe experiencing that
they don't understand. There's a name for that. They don't understand,
like that's not on you, and there's a way out
of that.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
I didn't even understand that what I was doing was
not healthy.
Speaker 5 (19:46):
I didn't understand that it was wrong, Like my entire
perception of relationship was skewed.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
My entire perception of what it meaned to be with
someone else was skewed.
Speaker 5 (19:55):
And so that's why it's really important for me, because
they need to understand that there is a way, that
there's a different life, that there's fulfillment waiting for you,
there's happiness waiting for you, and this is not the
end of it.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
You know what that you guys do.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
Have you guys ever felt like what if I can't
say this person, I'm telling my story, I'm doing all
this word, but what if I can't save this person?
And is there a way to that feeling that you
guys have experienced at all?
Speaker 3 (20:35):
We don't say anyway. The Holy Spirit changed them and
God wills that not one would be lost. He didn't
come to judge, He came to save. He didn't come
for the well.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
He came for the sick.
Speaker 6 (20:49):
And our job is to tell to speak with compassion
and grace and and to pray and to pray for them,
you know, when we're not with them, to pray for them.
Because you know, some plants, some water, God gives the increase.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
I cannot believe that a seed that.
Speaker 6 (21:10):
Goes into the ground will not grow if it's a
good seed. I definitely believe that we got married on
a rainy Monday in city Hall when we got saved.
And forty years after we got saved, we got married
in our church, our three sons of pastors, with our
eight grandkids.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
We finally did it right. Listen.
Speaker 6 (21:31):
I love this because we're photoshops here, and you know what,
that's how Jesus sees us.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
We are photoshoped.
Speaker 6 (21:39):
He sees us without spot and wrinkle. We think he's
examining every piece of dandr, of every little skin, you know,
every little pimple.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
He does.
Speaker 6 (21:48):
And he sees us through the eyes of the blood
of his son.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
This is how we look to him, and he loves us.
Speaker 7 (21:57):
It is interestesting to see those photos because it makes
me think about the times where I'm just trying to
mass so much, because I couldn't stop my mind from
thinking so much. So I always thought that alcohol, even
though I don't need alcohol when I step into a room,
I'm confident when I step into a room, but in
order to shut my mind off at times, it was
(22:20):
alcohol did that.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
And I don't know why I allowed it to get
to a certain place because it.
Speaker 7 (22:25):
Started small, and you know when small things turn into
big things. It started to on the weekends in college,
and then from college it took on the weekdays after
work on your finance Saturday and Sunday, and then it
turns to Tuesdays carry over night. Then Thursdays is ladies only.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
But guys, this.
Speaker 7 (22:41):
It's like a snowball effect to where it gradually creeps
up on you.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
But the thing is is that my mom always says that.
Speaker 7 (22:54):
By are our choices and our decisions, some things don't
have to happen to us. But by our decisions we
get in our own way in those things we make
the wrong decision to put ourselves in the wrong places
at the wrong times, and things.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Of that nature.
Speaker 7 (23:09):
So I'll say all that to say that just seeing
those pictures is just made me start thinking for.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
Her some things since to me, I don't know if
you had something you wanted to say a lot like
before we brought into picture it's plafestyle and the break
healty was.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
She basically said what I said.
Speaker 5 (23:25):
You know, we can't save anybody, and especially like in
the line work that I'm in with the organization that
I work with. By the time a girl has made
it to me like she's already been given up on
the system, has written her off.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Parents, teachers, they've all written her off like I served
what they titled the hardest to serve youth.
Speaker 5 (23:48):
And so there are some that you know, all I
can do is show up, can be consistent, and I
can plant good seeds.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
That's what's important.
Speaker 5 (23:54):
We plant good seed, not just planning to see planting
good seed, and you just trust that.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
The Lord is going to take over the rest. But
sometimes it doesn't work out that way.
Speaker 5 (24:03):
Every story is not a happy end thing. I've just
lost the girl not too long ago, and it happens,
and it's a part of the work. But you still
show up and you still keep playing those seeds. You
don't worry about the end results Like the end, that's
none of your business.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
But the Lord does there.
Speaker 5 (24:19):
You just do what he calls you to do in
that moment that show up. Make the system thank you.
Speaker 6 (24:27):
So.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
In closing, I want you guys to be able to,
you know, give closing remarks whatever you like to say.
But there is a closing question. Someone read a scripture
and then I just want you guys to also mention
you know what this verse needs to you.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
The scripture says the Lord will.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
Bestow on them accrown of beauty instead of ashes, the
oil of joy instead of warning, and a garment of
praise instead of a spirit of despair.
Speaker 6 (24:50):
What does that mean to you guys, Well, it means
that God makes to snoop, I want to speak to
the believer for a moment, because a lot of times
we're going to carry our ashes and we put them
on the next day's sacrifice or on the next day's
(25:12):
altar of worship, and you can't have fresh fire with ashes.
And in the Old Testament, the scriptures tell us that
God designated a specific place for the ashes.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
It was called an ash eep.
Speaker 6 (25:30):
The priest would actually burn a sacrifice.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
What he was saying he was.
Speaker 6 (25:35):
He cut off the animal's head. It was the eyes.
The ears gave it to God. The legs gave his
steps to God. The inner parts washed put on that altar,
and the fact the success is put on the altar
burned up. Then there were ashes that priest literally had
to change his garment, take all the ashes. That was
(25:57):
his pain, his problems, his provision, all of it, and
he would put it on an ash heap, and he
had to remove it far from the area of worship.
And those ashes, to God, they were sacred.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
God knew it.
Speaker 6 (26:14):
Every ashmanh He knew every tear that that ash meant.
He knew every problem that priests was going through, everything,
the provision that he was grateful for. Every ash meant something.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
But the next day there comes Sunday, we're gonna worship.
We're not gonna have.
Speaker 6 (26:31):
Yesterday's ashes on today's sacrifice, because that would be like
trying to cook like this delicious steak in an old
soooded pan that you made something, you're going to ruin it.
So we got to get those ashes out.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
If we dived it to.
Speaker 6 (26:47):
God, we have to believe he took it, and He's
gonna make a way for us, and he understands and
he's a man that sympathizes with our weaknesses.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
But we got to go the next day and faith
and just.
Speaker 6 (27:01):
Once again worship the Lord, because you know what, God,
without faith, it is impossible to please God. God smells faith,
He smells faith. He says, Well, they believe I'm going
to take care of it. Well, they believe that I
understand their situation. Today they're coming in and they're just
worshiping me because every day, you know, you and I
we have ashes and we how to remove those ashes
(27:24):
so we can have fresh sirt fun.
Speaker 5 (27:30):
So this, this actually just came to me because whenever
you said that about the ashes, I was.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
Like, you know you can actually you actually make soap
from ashes.
Speaker 5 (27:37):
Ashes used to make love, which is used to make
soap soap because it used to make cleanly.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
And stat things God.
Speaker 5 (27:46):
But for me that verse in my life, when I
think of, you know, the ashes, I think of how
I had given up that.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
When I think a lot of times we allow.
Speaker 5 (27:55):
Our circumstances, the things that we go through to kind
of put a period on things. We think it's all
over with for us, right, we live in that state
of despair.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
The rest of the scripture, you know, it talks about,
you know.
Speaker 5 (28:06):
Freedom to the captives, to freedom from darkness for the prisoners,
and we can put ourselves in that own prison, the
prisons of shame, prisons of anger, prisons of.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Hate even and I was in that place.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
I was so I can't even begin to express to
you how angry I was at God that he didn't
move the way I wanted him to move when I
wanted him to move that way, and I thought that
that was just it. I was so angry that other
people's faith enraged me. It enraged me to the point
where I would sit there and have entire debates with
people about the existence of God because I.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
Didn't want them to believe because I didn't believe either.
Speaker 5 (28:39):
And that's where I was whenever my husband came to
me and said, wait a minute, because he's not finished yet.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
He's not done, and.
Speaker 5 (28:52):
He took from that place where I had decided everything
was just passions.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
It was done, it was destroyed, and now there's.
Speaker 5 (28:59):
Beauty in it because now through my freedom from all
of that, other people can achieve that freedom. I was
praying and I was thinking, man, I'm supposed to be
free from this physical prison right now, because Lord, I'm
playing to you. You know everything that went on, You
know my heart, You know me inside and out?
Speaker 6 (29:16):
Why are you.
Speaker 5 (29:17):
Allowing this to happen to me? But I wasn't even
ready for what He was preparing for me. And you
know that's the crown that He's given me. That now,
that's the life that I can do.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
All I have to do is go around and tell
people how good God is. I don't have a job,
that's my job. It's a testify how good He is.
Speaker 7 (29:36):
And so that's what it means for me, you know,
fear Listening to you guys, it reminds me of a call.
And don't quote me on it because I don't know
who actually says, but it says our deepest spirits that
we are in an adequate, our deeper spirits, that we
are powerful beyond measure. It is not our life, but
(29:57):
our darkness that most frightens us. You plan small does
not served the world. There is nothing likely about you
shrinking so others won't feel insecure around you. Because we
are all meant to shine as children do, and as
we let our own life shine well unconsciously give other
people permission to do the same.
Speaker 3 (30:20):
I'm Laurna Rosa.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
This is the latest with Laura Rosa. At the end
of the day, I tell you, guys, every episode my Lowriders,
y'all could be anywhere with anybody having a conversation about this,
but y'all choose to be right here with me. I
appreciate y'all for that. I will catch you in my
next episode.
The tourist.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm a homegrowl that knows a little bit about everything
and everybody.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
You don't know if you don't lie about that.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Right, Hey, y'all, what's up. It's Lauren Rosa and this
is the latest with Lauren de Rosa. This is your
DELI dig on all things pop culture, entertainment, news, and
all of the conversations that.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Shake the room.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Baby.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Now, I have been on an HBCU tour. You guys know,
I've been all over but we ended the tour literally
this week in real time. I'm recording this. We ended
it yesterday as Delaware State University defeated Norfolk State University
at Lincoln Financial Field, which is the stadium where the
Eagles play. DeShawn Jackson for Delaware State University versus Mike
(00:45):
Vick for Norfolk State University was a huge game. Over
forty seven thousand people. Over forty seven thousand people purchase tickets, y'all.
I was told by the end of the night by
the president of Delaware State University, doctor Tony Allen, that
they were looking at making a profit which they would
then use to put back into the school and look
(01:08):
out for Norfolk a bit because it's a home game
for Dell State. They were looking at a profit of
over a million dollars. Let me tell y'all something, Okay.
When I was at Delaware State University, I was literally
told going to this school is going to make it
so hard for people to ever know who you are,
what you want to do, and for you to work
(01:29):
in the industry you want to work in. It takes
one small person, one small dream, and a whole lot
of faith and a whole lot of God to be
able to break barriers where people are like, wow, what
hold on? What is that transformation? What's happening? And that
has been the story of Delaware State University. You know
now Norfolk State University, Jackson State and what Deon Sanders
(01:52):
did there because somebody had a vision, a dream, but
also somebody was really tapped into their spirituality and their faith.
And God said to the listen, I need y'all to
go over here, climb this mountain, and then you'll be
able to make away for other people. So as I'm
recovering from all of the events that we hosted at
Norfolk State University and you know, ending our HBCU Alumni
(02:14):
tour that we do for Bronco grinding and myself, Laura
le Rosa, as you know, I recover from all of that.
I wanted to share a conversation that is very much
in the vein of that, the faith of a mustard seed.
And but God, so let's get on into a convo
I sat down in conversation with Cintoya Brown Long, and
a lot of you guys may have heard her story.
(02:36):
Cintoya Brown Long is an American author, a speaker, and
a criminal justice reform advocate. She was a victim of
sex trafficking as a minor, and she served fifteen years
in prison for murder after she shot and killed a
man who solicited her four sex and originally her sentence
was fifty one years behind bars. But God, we also
(02:58):
were joining in this conversation by my readors. Who's a pastor,
a faith leader in a woman who has lived lives? Okay,
I mean she has done makeup for some of the
biggest celebrities and models in the entertainment business. But all
of that comes with some things for some people. And
by some things I mean addiction. I mean, you know,
(03:20):
losing it all and having to gain it all back
through faith and realizing God. Now as a former lead
pastor of Christ Tabernacle, a huge congregation which was also
the first church to be born out of the Brooklyn Tabernacle,
Maria takes, you know, all these lived experiences as that
(03:42):
top celebrity makeup artist.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
At one point, a woman who.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Went through years of really intense drug use, I mean
like almost didn't make it to see today, a type
of drug use. But you know, she has come about
of that and now she is using her faith to
transform and to have conversations, transformative conversations with others. And lastly,
but totally not least in this conversation, you guys will
hear from Randall Long Randa is the creative mind behind
(04:06):
the cool world mascot Cooley with numerous children's clinic.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Now, Cooley is more than just a character.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Randall likes to say that Koy is a figure that
represents unity, diversity, and acceptance, all these things which are
you know, really close to his heart. But all this
creativity is utilized the best of what Randal does as
he is ministering and honestly developing children. And when I
say developing, I mean like really pouring into them. And
(04:34):
you know, tapping into their creative and you know, just
using his story to inspire others. That's the common thread here.
It's inspiration faith of a muster seed. Let's get on
into the conversation. I think you guys are enjoying this one.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
When you look back over your story, what seems out
as your turning point, you know, at the moment when
Payne begins to give purpose.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Go ahead, lady first.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
I think a.
Speaker 5 (05:01):
Turning point for me when I saw that there was
purpose in my pain was when my now husband had
challenged me.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
I was speaking about my situation for.
Speaker 5 (05:12):
Those of those of y'all or I didn't hear that introduction,
but I spent fifteen years incarcerated.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
I was sentenced to life.
Speaker 5 (05:18):
In prison, was supposed to be sixty seven years old.
Before I got out. All my bills had been denied.
I had none left. And I received the letter in
the mail from my now husband, and that started us
going back and forth, having conversations. And when I told
him how I was pretty much frustrated with God, but
I didn't believe he was real.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
He challenged me and he said, he told you he
was finished.
Speaker 5 (05:43):
And I had kind of written my own end I
thought that was it, like there was nothing but ashes, right,
But it helped me to see that, you know, God
is really doing something with this. Let me sit back
and let him finish. And so I think that was
a turning point for me. And then the way at
it and unfolded. I saw that if I hadn't gone
through all that I had gone through, I wouldn't be
(06:04):
able to do the things that I am now testifying
about how good he was said about how there is
awake out.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah, closure for you guys, you know talking about you
know what some of your guys have been like, Yo,
what you've been through?
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Did you guys recognize God when he met you with
your moss?
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Did you know it was him?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Or what would you feel in our experience and you
had not it happened.
Speaker 5 (06:28):
So for me, I don't feel that I really recognized
it was him, and that was because it was I
was in such a funk from everything that I went through,
like so much anger had consumed me that I had
convinced myself that he wasn't real.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
And so while I knew there was something that.
Speaker 5 (06:42):
Would keep me holding on and pushing forward, I knew
there was something that would tell me, You're not going
to spend the rest of your life in prison. I
called it everything but him. I said, it was the universe.
But the universe was looking out for me, and you
know all these things that you hear, But it was
him all along. And it wasn't until I saw in
his hints I started acknowledging that it was him that
(07:04):
I learned to call a m of Jesus. And I said,
you know, it was him all along, And I started
saying the way he showed up. But yeah, I was
so angry that I didn't I wouldn't even acknowledge that
it was him.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Well I had. I had a definite encounter with God.
Speaker 6 (07:21):
I was crazy out of my mind to drugs from
the age of ten to twenty five.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
I've overdosed on harrowin three times.
Speaker 6 (07:30):
I've been arrested, try to commit suicide.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Find the man of my dreams.
Speaker 6 (07:35):
Go on this vacation to Mexico, worked and burked off.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Goodman.
Speaker 6 (07:38):
If famous people's makeup, and I have everything the world
says I need in order to be happy. I had
design a luggage. I had more change through the snoop
Dog got out.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
I did. I did.
Speaker 6 (07:51):
If it was on the cover Cosmopolitan or Vogue.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
I had it. But we get to my new boyfriend, we.
Speaker 6 (07:59):
Get to this vacation spot in Mexico. He smuggled in,
I smumbled in, I'm sorry, three thousand dollars worth of cocaine.
I see how God has protected.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
Me so many times. And on this ten.
Speaker 6 (08:14):
Day vacation, as the days are going on, I'm emptier
and emptier and emptier.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
I never heard her being born again.
Speaker 6 (08:22):
Imagine that I knew where to I knew where to
get the latest haircut. I never waited online to get
into a club.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
I knew every DJ, but I did not know we
could be born again, have a new life.
Speaker 6 (08:35):
And as the days going on, I have everything the
world says I have in order to be happy.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
I'm successful.
Speaker 6 (08:43):
This guy loves me, he's good looking, but I'm empty.
And you know, we all have that emptiness inside of us,
and the only one that could feel it is God.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
He's the only one.
Speaker 6 (08:54):
And all of a sudden, as the fifth day to
this ten day vacation, I felt like some he was
screaming inside of me, help me, help me, And I
didn't know who to tell because I didn't know what
it was So my boyfriend went out for a walk
on the beach one night and I stayed in the
room and I decided to talk to God. But I
didn't talk to him the way we talked to him.
(09:16):
I shook my fist and I called him every name
in the book, and I said, what kind of God
are you? What kind of got are you? What is
this thing called life? I feel like a dog chasing
her tail. And in this room, this holy God that
should have struck me dead, with my filthy mouth, with
my immorality, with it all, he said my name, and
(09:38):
it was not audible, it was internal.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
You have to know my name.
Speaker 6 (09:43):
When I was born, my mother died. I have no
name on my birth certificate.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
He knew my name. He knows your name.
Speaker 6 (09:51):
And he said the name Maria, and he said, give
me your life before it's too late.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
And I knew that.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
I knew it was God. I did it.
Speaker 6 (10:00):
You know his name was Jesus. I didn't know anything,
but I knew that I knew. My boyfriend came back
from this walk on the beach fifteen minutes and I said, Michael,
when we go back home, when you go to church
with me? He said church? He said, you need a
smoke a joiner. And then when I was leaving this
(10:21):
vacation spot, they offered me a job.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
They said, we know you're.
Speaker 6 (10:25):
Not married, and why don't you stay here and be
a host. And I turned to my boyfriend and I said,
that's the zebral.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
He doesn't want me to go home and go to church.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Now.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
My boyfriend's like, first you hear God, and now you know.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Who you're joy is. He said.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
We had definitely cramping home up. When we get back
to this apartment.
Speaker 6 (10:42):
We had just in the din together and I had
a telephone and I called a friend of mine and
I said, I got to talk to you. I did
not know any Christians. I didn't even know there was
such a thing as a Christian. And I said I
got to talk to you. And she said hurry up.
And I said, Barbara, I need God my life. And
Barbara said, praise the Lord.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
I said, praise the who. She said, well you were gone.
Some hippie preached the gospel to her. I'm thirty of
our friends.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
She said.
Speaker 6 (11:14):
We held hands and we said Lord save Michael and
Maria in Mexico. And that was the night that voice
spoke to me. In that hotel, some to church and
we gave our lives to Christ.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
And that was fifty years ago in September.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
So for all of you guys, how did you deal
with I mean, if there was Shane, right, how did
you deal with?
Speaker 6 (11:49):
Now?
Speaker 4 (11:49):
I'm going to take everything I've been through in my
story to help other people into doing that.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
You got to be very honest about.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
What you've been through and how do you fell and
all these things, and not everybody receives it.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
The best all the time. How do you guys deal
with that?
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Even today when you're going around and sharing your.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Story and you know, ministering to people, dealing with people
that might not you know, receive it the best of me,
but also dealing with any.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Internal shame or guilts that you may experience. So for me.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
Coming through the way that I came through, the way
that the Lord brought me through, it's just it's so
amazing what he did with me. I can't help but
tell someone. I can't help but tell other young girls
in my situation that there is a different way of life,
that there's a way of life out for you somebody
who's in that situation right now. I'm so excited to
let them know that life the Lord, he's got a
(12:40):
plan for you. He can bring you out of this.
Like you said, you just keep walking. And so shame
is never even a thought. And I know where shame
comes from, and it's not from my Lord. So it
has nothing to do with me, has no part of
my identity, has no room in my life.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
So it's not even an issue. It's not even a thought.
Speaker 6 (12:58):
You know.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
And when you when you.
Speaker 5 (13:01):
When you get brought through something, when you have that testimony,
it doesn't become hard.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
I know a lot of people like to.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
Ask you whenever I share my story, isn't it hard
for you to relive no money?
Speaker 3 (13:13):
I know how it ends. Yeah, so sad and so
there's only glory to him.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
And so I tell anybody who listening, if you don't
want to listen, I'll tell you anyway.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Thank you for that.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
So a question for you, So you're really passionate about
investing in the next generation, especially children of color, Why
is that mission so personal for you?
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Why is it so personal for me? One I like
to empower all.
Speaker 7 (13:44):
Two the reason why I love the empower kids of color,
people of color, is because I.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Know I grew up in the nineties and eighties.
Speaker 7 (13:53):
Baby, I mean that look like it, but I know
that by seeing certain communities, I see there's a lack
of male presence. And the reason why I go so
hard in what I do and showing empowerment through creativity
and different forms of empowerment. These kids are so used
(14:15):
to seeing people come in and out of their lives.
And I noticed by doing certain backtive schools and speaking
at certain schools, that some individuals come into schools and yes, they'll.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Do their projects and then they'll move on to things.
Speaker 7 (14:29):
That's not to say that certain schools can.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Go a different route, but the thing is that there's
no consistency in these kids' lives.
Speaker 7 (14:37):
And one of the ethnic groups that lack it is
people of color. They see people come in and out
of their lives. I see at different community events where
there's less men or champion. Kudos to our mothers and
our grandmothers and things of that nature, but we need
(14:57):
more men that's going to stand up and I actually
show up to events, put on events that actually empower
you and not.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Be laxadaticle about it.
Speaker 7 (15:07):
Because the majority of our kids, when they see us
put effort into things, they show up as their best.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
So the reason why.
Speaker 7 (15:15):
I love empowering people of color is that I like
to show them that it is possible. I was born
after my left ear, I was placed in special education.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
There were so.
Speaker 7 (15:26):
Many labels where it kept me in a mental prison
of walking through life because every great opportunity that I
did have, I wasn't capable of walking into it because
I was in a mental prison, basically allowing my past
to take every step by talk so by numbing the pain,
new alcohol or drugs, party and sex, foreign things of
(15:49):
that nature. Our communities, our kids, they need to see
men of color, men in general show up. That's what
we need.
Speaker 5 (16:00):
Thank you for that.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
You can do the work that you're got too. So
I said, thank you for the work that you do too.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
I'm sitting here and just I don't have kids, but
I have a niece, and my niece is ten, and.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
As I'm watching her grow up, one.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
Of the hardest things for me is that I can't
protect her from like the world of things right, and
it always makes me think, like when I was younger
and my mom was trying to teach me things, why
she tried to insteal certain things because your kids go
out to the world and you just got to rely
on what you've taught them. And there were people in
my life that I came across, Like I know, it's hey,
you spoke earlier, but like there were people in my
(16:33):
life that I came across, people like you, that helped to, like,
you know, reinforce things as it was happening. And you
guys are so important because sometimes we don't be heard
in our house, but then we go into the world
and we forget it or you know, So just appreciate
what you're doing.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
I'm really sitting here.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
Thinking like, wow, what you're doing is really gonna you
know what I mean, Like it's really going to help
and change people's lives because it did it for me.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
So appreciate you. But thanks for being here to really
no one question for you, Saintboya.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
Now that you're advocating for victims of trafficking and criminal
justice reform, what drives you to keep sharing your story?
Speaker 2 (17:09):
And you talked about this, you know you don't the
memories that you have aren't painful for you because you
know how it ends.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
But what drives you to keep telling your story.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
In ways in ways that reach people where they feel
like they want to come and think about what the
end of their story will be and not where they
are right now. Like, how are you pushing these women
or even men to be able to see or know
they're in so that they're not afraid to come and
share things with you?
Speaker 3 (17:39):
So how I do it?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (17:40):
I just show up as me authentically, and you know,
there's nothing that's talk to the table. We have conversations, to
be honest with you. When I go into facilities, I
go where they are. A lot of the girls that
I serve, they're currently incarcerated in facilities. I go into
the facilities and sometimes we just sit and we just
have crafts.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
We just do crafts are two crafts.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
A lot of conversations are had over glittered and they
just open up. Some of the toughest you know, kids
that are freaking have it throughout the week of the facilities,
they just melt when it comes to needed bracelets. I
don't know what the science is, but that's my thing,
and we just we just talk. We just have honest conversations, and.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
I feel like that's really important. Another thing that's important.
Speaker 5 (18:21):
Is that I show up consistently because they desire that
consistent there's this consistency again, consistent healthy relationship, and so
a lot of these young girls, they're struggling with the
same thing many of us have encountered, and that's this
attack on identity, Like the enemy has this huge assignment
attackness and our identity, and that's something that I face.
(18:41):
But meeting them where they are meeting them from who
they are, letting them just as they are, that's really
I guess if I had a strategy, that's what my
strategy is. But it's really important for me to also
do the other side of my work, going out and
speaking about my experience because I remember when I was
young and I didn't identify as a quote unquote trafficking victim,
(19:03):
because the whole discourse on human trafficking was you get
snatched off the street and thrown into a white van
and held in abasement somewhere. For girls like me who
were living on the streets as runaways and did things
that we were taught you needed to do in order
to survive, we were considered fast or promiscuous.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
We were considered doing things that were an act of
volition instead.
Speaker 5 (19:28):
Of being violated as children by adults, And so having
that conversation is really important because there are other young
people who may be going through that, maybe experiencing that
they don't understand. There's a name for that. They don't understand,
like that's not on you, and there's a way out
of that.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
I didn't even understand that what I was doing was
not healthy.
Speaker 5 (19:46):
I didn't understand that it was wrong, Like my entire
perception of relationship was skewed.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
My entire perception of what it meaned to be with
someone else was skewed.
Speaker 5 (19:55):
And so that's why it's really important for me, because
they need to understand that there is a way, that
there's a different life, that there's fulfillment waiting for you,
there's happiness waiting for you, and this is not the
end of it.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
You know what that you guys do.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
Have you guys ever felt like what if I can't
say this person, I'm telling my story, I'm doing all
this word, but what if I can't save this person?
And is there a way to that feeling that you
guys have experienced at all?
Speaker 3 (20:35):
We don't say anyway. The Holy Spirit changed them and
God wills that not one would be lost. He didn't
come to judge, He came to save. He didn't come
for the well.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
He came for the sick.
Speaker 6 (20:49):
And our job is to tell to speak with compassion
and grace and and to pray and to pray for them,
you know, when we're not with them, to pray for them.
Because you know, some plants, some water, God gives the increase.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
I cannot believe that a seed that.
Speaker 6 (21:10):
Goes into the ground will not grow if it's a
good seed. I definitely believe that we got married on
a rainy Monday in city Hall when we got saved.
And forty years after we got saved, we got married
in our church, our three sons of pastors, with our
eight grandkids.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
We finally did it right. Listen.
Speaker 6 (21:31):
I love this because we're photoshops here, and you know what,
that's how Jesus sees us.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
We are photoshoped.
Speaker 6 (21:39):
He sees us without spot and wrinkle. We think he's
examining every piece of dandr, of every little skin, you know,
every little pimple.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
He does.
Speaker 6 (21:48):
And he sees us through the eyes of the blood
of his son.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
This is how we look to him, and he loves us.
Speaker 7 (21:57):
It is interestesting to see those photos because it makes
me think about the times where I'm just trying to
mass so much, because I couldn't stop my mind from
thinking so much. So I always thought that alcohol, even
though I don't need alcohol when I step into a room,
I'm confident when I step into a room, but in
order to shut my mind off at times, it was
(22:20):
alcohol did that.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
And I don't know why I allowed it to get
to a certain place because it.
Speaker 7 (22:25):
Started small, and you know when small things turn into
big things. It started to on the weekends in college,
and then from college it took on the weekdays after
work on your finance Saturday and Sunday, and then it
turns to Tuesdays carry over night. Then Thursdays is ladies only.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
But guys, this.
Speaker 7 (22:41):
It's like a snowball effect to where it gradually creeps
up on you.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
But the thing is is that my mom always says that.
Speaker 7 (22:54):
By are our choices and our decisions, some things don't
have to happen to us. But by our decisions we
get in our own way in those things we make
the wrong decision to put ourselves in the wrong places
at the wrong times, and things.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Of that nature.
Speaker 7 (23:09):
So I'll say all that to say that just seeing
those pictures is just made me start thinking for.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
Her some things since to me, I don't know if
you had something you wanted to say a lot like
before we brought into picture it's plafestyle and the break
healty was.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
She basically said what I said.
Speaker 5 (23:25):
You know, we can't save anybody, and especially like in
the line work that I'm in with the organization that
I work with. By the time a girl has made
it to me like she's already been given up on
the system, has written her off.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Parents, teachers, they've all written her off like I served
what they titled the hardest to serve youth.
Speaker 5 (23:48):
And so there are some that you know, all I
can do is show up, can be consistent, and I
can plant good seeds.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
That's what's important.
Speaker 5 (23:54):
We plant good seed, not just planning to see planting
good seed, and you just trust that.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
The Lord is going to take over the rest. But
sometimes it doesn't work out that way.
Speaker 5 (24:03):
Every story is not a happy end thing. I've just
lost the girl not too long ago, and it happens,
and it's a part of the work. But you still
show up and you still keep playing those seeds. You
don't worry about the end results Like the end, that's
none of your business.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
But the Lord does there.
Speaker 5 (24:19):
You just do what he calls you to do in
that moment that show up. Make the system thank you.
Speaker 6 (24:27):
So.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
In closing, I want you guys to be able to,
you know, give closing remarks whatever you like to say.
But there is a closing question. Someone read a scripture
and then I just want you guys to also mention
you know what this verse needs to you.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
The scripture says the Lord will.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
Bestow on them accrown of beauty instead of ashes, the
oil of joy instead of warning, and a garment of
praise instead of a spirit of despair.
Speaker 6 (24:50):
What does that mean to you guys, Well, it means
that God makes to snoop, I want to speak to
the believer for a moment, because a lot of times
we're going to carry our ashes and we put them
on the next day's sacrifice or on the next day's
(25:12):
altar of worship, and you can't have fresh fire with ashes.
And in the Old Testament, the scriptures tell us that
God designated a specific place for the ashes.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
It was called an ash eep.
Speaker 6 (25:30):
The priest would actually burn a sacrifice.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
What he was saying he was.
Speaker 6 (25:35):
He cut off the animal's head. It was the eyes.
The ears gave it to God. The legs gave his
steps to God. The inner parts washed put on that altar,
and the fact the success is put on the altar
burned up. Then there were ashes that priest literally had
to change his garment, take all the ashes. That was
(25:57):
his pain, his problems, his provision, all of it, and
he would put it on an ash heap, and he
had to remove it far from the area of worship.
And those ashes, to God, they were sacred.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
God knew it.
Speaker 6 (26:14):
Every ashmanh He knew every tear that that ash meant.
He knew every problem that priests was going through, everything,
the provision that he was grateful for. Every ash meant something.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
But the next day there comes Sunday, we're gonna worship.
We're not gonna have.
Speaker 6 (26:31):
Yesterday's ashes on today's sacrifice, because that would be like
trying to cook like this delicious steak in an old
soooded pan that you made something, you're going to ruin it.
So we got to get those ashes out.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
If we dived it to.
Speaker 6 (26:47):
God, we have to believe he took it, and He's
gonna make a way for us, and he understands and
he's a man that sympathizes with our weaknesses.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
But we got to go the next day and faith
and just.
Speaker 6 (27:01):
Once again worship the Lord, because you know what, God,
without faith, it is impossible to please God. God smells faith,
He smells faith. He says, Well, they believe I'm going
to take care of it. Well, they believe that I
understand their situation. Today they're coming in and they're just
worshiping me because every day, you know, you and I
we have ashes and we how to remove those ashes
(27:24):
so we can have fresh sirt fun.
Speaker 5 (27:30):
So this, this actually just came to me because whenever
you said that about the ashes, I was.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
Like, you know you can actually you actually make soap
from ashes.
Speaker 5 (27:37):
Ashes used to make love, which is used to make
soap soap because it used to make cleanly.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
And stat things God.
Speaker 5 (27:46):
But for me that verse in my life, when I
think of, you know, the ashes, I think of how
I had given up that.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
When I think a lot of times we allow.
Speaker 5 (27:55):
Our circumstances, the things that we go through to kind
of put a period on things. We think it's all
over with for us, right, we live in that state
of despair.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
The rest of the scripture, you know, it talks about,
you know.
Speaker 5 (28:06):
Freedom to the captives, to freedom from darkness for the prisoners,
and we can put ourselves in that own prison, the
prisons of shame, prisons of anger, prisons of.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Hate even and I was in that place.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
I was so I can't even begin to express to
you how angry I was at God that he didn't
move the way I wanted him to move when I
wanted him to move that way, and I thought that
that was just it. I was so angry that other
people's faith enraged me. It enraged me to the point
where I would sit there and have entire debates with
people about the existence of God because I.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
Didn't want them to believe because I didn't believe either.
Speaker 5 (28:39):
And that's where I was whenever my husband came to
me and said, wait a minute, because he's not finished yet.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
He's not done, and.
Speaker 5 (28:52):
He took from that place where I had decided everything
was just passions.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
It was done, it was destroyed, and now there's.
Speaker 5 (28:59):
Beauty in it because now through my freedom from all
of that, other people can achieve that freedom. I was
praying and I was thinking, man, I'm supposed to be
free from this physical prison right now, because Lord, I'm
playing to you. You know everything that went on, You
know my heart, You know me inside and out?
Speaker 6 (29:16):
Why are you.
Speaker 5 (29:17):
Allowing this to happen to me? But I wasn't even
ready for what He was preparing for me. And you
know that's the crown that He's given me. That now,
that's the life that I can do.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
All I have to do is go around and tell
people how good God is. I don't have a job,
that's my job. It's a testify how good He is.
Speaker 7 (29:36):
And so that's what it means for me, you know,
fear Listening to you guys, it reminds me of a call.
And don't quote me on it because I don't know
who actually says, but it says our deepest spirits that
we are in an adequate, our deeper spirits, that we
are powerful beyond measure. It is not our life, but
(29:57):
our darkness that most frightens us. You plan small does
not served the world. There is nothing likely about you
shrinking so others won't feel insecure around you. Because we
are all meant to shine as children do, and as
we let our own life shine well unconsciously give other
people permission to do the same.
Speaker 3 (30:20):
I'm Laurna Rosa.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
This is the latest with Laura Rosa. At the end
of the day, I tell you, guys, every episode my Lowriders,
y'all could be anywhere with anybody having a conversation about this,
but y'all choose to be right here with me. I
appreciate y'all for that. I will catch you in my
next episode.
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