November 21, 2025 • 32 mins
In this episode of The Latest with Loren LaRosa, Loren reflects on a candid conversation with Dr. Joel Tudman about his book The Fight to Find Yourself, using it as a springboard into her own journey of self-discovery and vulnerability. She examines the challenges of being emotionally honest in public, the friction between private healing and a public platform, and the ways representation—especially Black voices in media—shapes who we become. Loren weaves personal stories about relationships and family dynamics with practical takeaways on how to stay true to yourself while showing up for others. Tune in and join the conversation in the socials below.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
I'm a homegrow that knows a little bit about everything
and everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
You don't know if you don't lie about that.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Right, Hey, y'all, what's up. It's Laura l Rosa and
this is the Latest with Laura de Rosa. This is
your Deli dig on all things pop culture, entertainment, news,
and all of the conversations that shake the room. Baby.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Today we have a mixture of the two. And so
I love conversations and news and topics that kind of
live right there now. So I made that the tagline
for this podcast. So jumping right on into the latest, Uh,
we had doctor Joelle Tudman on the Breakfast Club. Doctor
Joel Tubman is a faith leader. He's an actor, a
(00:50):
mental health advocate, and an author. He's actually a USA
Today a best selling author. His book that he was
on the Breakfast Club to promote, which is called The
Fight to Find Yourself, recently was named one the USA
USA Today's best sellers. Currently available for purchase. This book
about finding yourself. It b This is the definition written
(01:12):
on his website. It blends practical teaching with deeply personal stories,
guided readers through the challenges of grief, confusion, and identity
toward renewed hope, joy and self discovery. This book, to me,
was all about It was a very honest I mean
for what I know, I don't know. I didn't know
(01:33):
doctor Joel Tudman before I met him at the breakfast
club prior to our conversation that I'm about to talk
to you guys about. But taking him at his word
and he is a pastor, this book is all about
a very honest look into going from who am I,
Why am I? And why am I doing? Why am
(01:54):
I processing this way? Why am I thinking this way?
And all of those things to knowing and understand exactly
the answer to those questions, and that guiding how you
are maneuvering throughout the world from relationships, I mean, like
you know, personal relationships like wayfrom girlfriend, wife, husband, well
in his instance, his wife, his relationship with his children,
(02:15):
decisions he was making in his personal life and career,
and you know, just a lot of different things. And
it's kind of like a book that teaches you how
to work through as you're on your own own fight
to figure this out. So he's at the breakfast club
and we get into a conversation about me and about
the fact that I am still figuring out a lot
(02:35):
of things, and I don't run from that. Let's take
a listen to the conversation. There's certain conversations I've never had.
Like we had a financial conversation the other day and
I was like, no one has ever.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
It's the first time you had it.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
It's very new. But so it's been some months, but
we've been dating for longer than that. But we've been
dating for about a year. But officially.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
That is not new. I wish I had a computers,
like do you like doing me?
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I think I've had to learn. You've had to learn
how to be very different in this stage in my life,
not even relationship, just because of like career and a
lot of things. So I took a lot more time
with certain things this time around sex, like being in
public with each other. I took time before I did that.
(03:22):
It's still not in public sneaky videos and see, we're
still taking our time.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
The path. Have you slept with him within three and
sixty five days since? Okay? You have?
Speaker 3 (03:37):
You have had sex with this man multiple times? H
look at your mind. You've slept with this man. You
have a smile on your face, you are. You're enjoying
that you have slept with this man multiple times. You
should be that enthusiastic about everything else.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
But I'm saying this is the first time that I am.
Like in other situations, there have been things that I when.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Did you find out about his credit? And what month?
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Probably like within the first month, then.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
When did you sleep with him? You don't want to
tell me, Okay, what this is not? No, I'm just
you know, I don't even want to go there, but
you just pray.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Now, let's just get this.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
I want to get this thought out because I want
to hear what you have to say. Because one of
the things I enjoyed learning was how you and your
wife are in your fight, because one of the things
I've realized with us is we're both in kind of
like the trying to figure out our life separate of
a relationship, but it just so happens that we're together
doing it now. And I thought that it was great
how she knows, how she knew how to support you,
(04:35):
and because sometimes things can feel like.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
This is my wife, you're his girlfriend, yes.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
But still even in frank not even in friend.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
It's just a completely different responsibility and a completely different.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Role, but take out relationship like boyf and girlfriends. Even
in friendships, right, there are times where you feel like
you're giving more to a friendship than you're receiving. And
you talked about vulnerability and vulnerability being a bad thing.
That was the first time I've ever heard somebody say that.
And the reason why I brought it up is because
in situations like this, when things do feel good, you're
always wondering, am I allowing certain things to happen because
(05:06):
it feels good? Or is it really where it's supposed
to be? Relationship, friendship, whatever? How do you deal with
that thought?
Speaker 3 (05:14):
I don't want to go to that thought because I
want to go back to your first original thought.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
This is an escape, go back to where we were.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Go ahead.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
When did you find out about his credit?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
First month or first month of us being in a relationship,
not the first month of us dating.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Did y'all talk about your faith?
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Yes? When that was probably like one of our first
in person conversations, our first time in person, that happy
hour conversation. I was sitting there and I'm like, man,
this man is amazing, Like I would love to get
to know more about him, not just as myself.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Now, let me ask you this.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
When you said that, where were you psychologically emotionally? Did
you know yourself before you made that decision?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
No, I don't think I fully know myself.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Now, how much of yourself do you know? What do
you know about yourself?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Well, I know a lot about myself, but I don't
think that I'm fully through like my fight.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Like how you so you're still fighting one hundred.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I didn't even begin the fight, honestly, probably until this year,
because I didn't know that it was a fight to
be had.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I just figured that's so powerful because I just told
him that that sometimes when you were in a relationship,
this is not your relationship.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Oh hey, I'm enjoying this.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
I think sometimes when you're in a relationship, when you
get healed, when you actually find you, it opens up
your eyes so much that you start looking at all
of your choices and all of your decisions, and you
can see the unhealthy picks, the unhealthy partners, the unhealthy conversations.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Okay, Now I have had people calling me about this conversation,
text to me about the conversation, and I have not
responded nor answered any of it because I wanted to
come to the podcast the Ladys with one of the
Roads and have a very honest conversation and reaction to
(06:58):
the conversation without other people's like feelings and well why
did it like, you know, all of that getting into it.
So I see nothing wrong with the conversation. If I
did in the moment, I would have said I don't
want to have this conversation anymore. I felt like I
was in a position where if that's what I wanted
(07:19):
to do or say, I could have done that. That's
number one. Number Two, I think it's really tough to
be vulnerable in front of the world on a platform
like the Breakfast Club. You know, you got millions of
listeners across radio, millions of viewers across social media. Very
very difficult, right. But I think that conversations like this
(07:41):
that are very honest, that are very vulnerable, that might
be a little bit uncomfortable. Because there were points where
I was uncomfortable, But it wasn't because I didn't want
to have the conversation. It was Number one. I felt, Okay,
this is a lot to be saying to number one,
a pastor, but also this is a lot to just
be saying to a pastor or someone that I don't
(08:01):
know personally, So there's a lot of like background things
and you know, just all of that that he's not
going to know or understand because he doesn't know me.
This is our second time meeting. But I wasn't uncomfortable
in the conversation to the point where I didn't want
to have it. It was more like I felt like,
at a certain point, Okay, I'm trying to explain things
like I'm trying to explain the sky being blue to
(08:25):
a person who doesn't have their eyes open enough to
see the sky is blue, and not because they're malicious
or their intent is to harm me or to try
and you know, be aggressive with me, or you know,
just embarrassing me or anything like that, just because naturally,
if you're walking into a situation where you don't know
someone or know all of the surrounding facts, you're kind
(08:47):
of put at a you're kind of putting like he
could only speak to me about the things we were
having a conversation about in that moment, and I'm like, okay,
I don't think and he even said it in the conversation,
He's Okay, this is a long conversation because I think
even he began to realize, there's no way we can
have this conversation right here and this amount of time
that we have, and you gather enough from me in
(09:09):
a situation to really be able to coach me through this.
And the reason why we ended up here is because
I think, not even think. It is because I know
that at this point in my life, I've just been
so different about a lot of things that I'm doing,
a lot of the people that are in my life,
a lot of the people that I communicate with every
(09:29):
day versus that I don't choose to communicate with every
day things I'm involving myself in. And I'm not perfect.
I still crash out every now and then, you know
what I'm saying. I'm not a queen crash out no
more but grab the crowd every now and then. But yeah,
I just things have just been different and and have changed,
and I think a lot of it is, you know,
my age, I'm getting older. Also career wise, things are
(09:51):
in a different place, and you know, there's always a
thing of protecting that, but also not even just protecting
and wanting to gain, because I think I'm keeping everything.
It's more so about my intention as I'm trying to
really figure out my intention and a lot of the
things that I'm doing people, I'm interacting with, people, I'm
allowing in my life and in my personal space, the ideas,
the thoughts, the you know, everything on my day to day.
(10:14):
As I'm trying to figure that out, I'm learning that
there's a lot of things that I have to unlearn
and do completely different. And that's my fight, and that's
what I'm going through literally daily. That is what I'm
going through as my fight to figure out who Lauren
really is. And I think I've always been like a
very confident person, knowing myself enough to know, Okay, here
(10:38):
are the goals I want to set for the year,
Here's what I want to get done. If I experience
something I don't like, I'm not afraid to say I
don't like it. If I experience something I love, I'm
not afraid to say, hey, I love it. But I
think that there's a deeper fight to find yourself when
you really I've been just in a real space of
(10:58):
I don't want to just be happy to be anywhere,
and I don't want to just be anywhere. And I
don't mean that by oh, I'm put up, I'm in
the crabe, I'm the outside on the couches, because every
now and then you're gonna catch me on some couches.
But I mean that in the sense of like why,
what is the why? And the more I think about that,
the more I'm open to having these conversations because I
(11:20):
think a lot of people that have anything going on
for themselves, whether your career is propping right now and
you got the you know, the ideal family and the
picture frame that everybody wants you bind you out here
being able to shop and get fly and lift whatever
is the highlight of your like success or like what
success looks like to you. Whenever you are on a
(11:42):
very strong path to that and things are working out,
people look at you like, Okay, you got everything together,
so you must know yourself. You must you must have
found yourself like all of those things, Like people don't
realize that two things can also be true. And I
think for me, I think the beauty and what I'm
experiencing right now is and if I'm being honest with y'all,
(12:04):
I think a lot of the reason why when you
guys are meeting me here on the latest with along
the roads of the podcast, or you're meeting me over
at the breakfast club. You stick along for the journey
to figure out, you know, what's happening the next day,
the next week, the next month. Because because I've been
very honest about the fact that I don't have it
all together, I'm gonna mess up. I'm gonna you know,
(12:27):
I'm an overachiever about a lot. Sometimes that's great for me.
Sometimes that hinders me. I don't have every answer that like.
I think there are so many people who don't do
and don't have those conversations on these platforms, Like I
just never mind doing it. And I think even bigger
than myself removing myself, I think that it helps people.
(12:51):
I don't know all the ways it helps people, because
people receive things differently depending on what they need at
the time. But I do think it helps people. To
be able to hear you be self accountable like that,
to be able to hear you be a little uncomfortable
like that, to be able to hear you be just
(13:12):
like willing to from a very honest place. Just how
the truth. Yo, this is what's going on. Here's what
I'm experiencing, here's why, here's what I've changed, Here's why
I've changed that. And then I think in relationship too.
You know, for me, I've always wondered like women who
are super career driven, who have so much going on
(13:33):
for themselves, and the few of them that are able
to balance, and I think that that stigma has to
begin to die down a bit, like you can't have
it all, but it's hard. But the women that I
see that are actually in these relationships, that are actually
in these marriages, and that are actually happy. And I
don't mean like happy where it's like it's picture perfect,
(13:53):
do it for the gram, do it for the red carpet,
like that type of thing. I mean like actually feel
like they have a partner, a person that like not
only finishes their sentence but completes their life in a
real way. They had to get to a place where
what I'm going through right now in real life, where
like I'm being like, Okay, I don't want to be
like this, I don't want to show up like this.
(14:15):
I also kind of need to be honest about the
fact that I may show up like there's some days
in this relationship because it's something that I want to change,
but it's not something that I have changed yet, and
like where does it lie if I'm not this perfect person,
this perfect girl, you know, the cute girl from the
radio and Instagram and all of that, Like where do
you lie in my life? And what does your unconditional
(14:36):
love look like?
Speaker 2 (14:38):
For me?
Speaker 1 (14:39):
And that's not just in relationship with a boyfriend or
you know, for anybody, or like it's with the male
and their girlfriend or whoever you're dating. I think about
that in relationships, just in friendships and work relationships, like
I have so many common And this conversation even went
into a conversation about you know, me and Charlemagne and
and envy and like just our dynamic in a room
(15:00):
and more so me and Charlottmagne and just you know,
some things I've learned about myself in being very honest
and being open to tell people, hey, this is what
I'm experiencing or this is how I feel, or being
defensive when maybe I shouldn't have been, or been defensive
when I should have been. It's opened me up to
conversations that have really helped me to take a step
(15:23):
outside myself and just look at things and then from
there be able to be like, Okay, here's everything I've experienced,
Here's everything I've learned, Here's everything I haven't learned, but
I want to learn. I just gotta figure out where
to learn it from. Because I was open enough to respond,
or I was open enough to be emotional in a conversation,
(15:44):
or you know, like I just I just want at
the end of me finding myself and my path and
all of this, I really just want people to be
able to say I've been able to like learn and
grow and do everything I need to do to further
progress myself when I get to that point where I
(16:05):
felt like I'm so stagnant because what else am I
supposed to do? I'm the smartest person in my friend group,
or I'm the yo. We were talking about this today
on the radio, simming from this conversation. It made me
start thinking too about like how much of my cause
A lot of the conversation and I want you guys
to go check out the full interview over on the
Breakfast Clubs, a YouTube channel. In on the podcast, some
(16:34):
of the conversation also went into how much of my
dad not being a consistent person in my life depends
or has resulted in some of the feelings in a
different traits that I have, and I took it a
step further and I'm like, you know, I don't even
think it was just that, yeah, that contributed to it.
I realized from the time that I spent with my dad,
probably like two summers ago, which was probably the most
(16:56):
consistent time that we ever spent together, in the closest
time we ever spent together for a few weeks, I
realized then, like, I've never really understood what it was
like to trust a man to do anything, to make
decisions for me, to love me, to lead me, not
fully like it's different because I have uncles, I have
a stepdad, like I have a brother, So I have
(17:19):
been in my life who do certain things, but it's
different when it's from your dad. And they're also not
one hundred percent in the way that they show up
in my life. So I think when you have and
even with the father thing, I think a lot of
my friends who did grow up with a father in
the household experienced disappointment in the same way that I
have without a father in the household. I think that
(17:41):
it's a it's a very child like innocence where your
dad is the super hero, period there are no faults,
and then you get to a certain point where like
you realize, oh no, he's human. And it's weird because
I feel like I've experienced all of those emotions, which
has brought me to the point of being able to
be vulnerable and have the conversation like what I had
(18:02):
with you know, on the show with Doctor Tubman, because
I've been able to go through all those emotions and
I've gotten to a really good place about it, Like
even on days where it's not the easiest thing to experience,
I'm at the place where I'm like, Okay, I know
this man is human and I ain't gonna hold him
too you know, but so much. But I also know
as a human being as well, I got upset my
(18:23):
own boundaries. It's taught me a lot about boundaries. But
also being an oldest child in a household with a
single mom, I've always had to figure it out like
I've always had my I literally can hear my mom's voice. Now,
nobody's coming to save you. If you don't have an answer,
you better find one, literally, And I think very strong
(18:44):
way to raise a child. You can put me anywhere
on the earth. I'm gonna triple my worth for real,
for real. But at the same time, I think it
has never allowed for me to allow other people in friendship,
relationship or whatever in certain ways, like I've always been
coachable and teachable, but there are certain ways and certain
(19:05):
things where if it's worked for me, I'm sticking to
that and there's nothing you can tell me. And I
think that that goes into my blind loyalty to people
even when I shouldn't be. Like there's been so much
dial back and conversation I've been able to have with myself,
and I'm like, these are conversations we should be having
because nobody has it all figured out. Nobody don't care
me follows, you got how paid you are, Nobody has
(19:29):
it all figured out. And I think even when you
get to a point where you have it all figured out,
like I got into a point when I was living
in LA and I'm like, okay, I'm able to pay
my bills everybody straight, I'm like, this is cool. Like
I could be on cruise Control, i could pay rent. Now,
you know what I'm saying, everybody's cool. Life is good.
Right now. I'm doing what I you know, what I
(19:50):
love to do at least for the most part, what
I love to do, and then things when haywire and
I'm like, dang, at every level of your life at
any second, you could just have to be back in
that position to figure it out. And I think being
able to have conversations like this give people real tools
to go back and watch and listen to to be
able to be like I mean, sometimes the answer is
(20:13):
is you doing the best that you can and that's
all you can do until you realize you should be
doing more, and then you go seek proper resources and
you know, all the things to figure out what that
more looks like. Because up until this year, I'm be
honest with y'all, there was a lot of things that
I would never do today that last year you couldn't
(20:34):
tell me nothing about. But there was like this awakening
of I don't know, like I just not even that
I don't know, I feel like it was. It definitely
is a faith journey, Like I think, the more that
I locked into what I feel like not even I
don't know for sure, so I won't say what I
feel like, the more I locked into wanting to understand
what my purpose in life is and what my purpose
(20:54):
in the things that God has blessed me with is
the more I begin to lose type for certain things.
And I'm still trying to lose appetite for a little
bit of things. You know what I'm saying. There's still
some things that I feel like I need to lose
appetite four And I know that until I do that,
I won't be blessed with certain things. But the fact
that I'm even like aware and accountable that is so
(21:15):
different from me than how I was last year. And
I don't think there's anything wrong with it. And I think,
especially when you're young and you're figuring out career and
your voice, yo, you get There'll be some days when
I leave work or even if i'm watching other people
on air or like people on blogs or on X
I'm like, man, people be so hypocritical, And I know
(21:38):
I can be hypocritical too, Not even people like I'm
saying about y'all. I'm saying, like, as a people, we
can be so hypocritical. And I always think, what is
the best version of myself? Where everything I'm saying I'm
gonna do and everything I'm saying I want to be
and show up ass, I'm actually doing it. I wasn't
thinking like this last year and next year is gonna
be another version of it. And there's nothing wrong with saying,
(22:00):
here's exactly what I'm doing now to be better. Don't
got it all figured out. But that doesn't mean I'm
some like aimless shooter, you know what I mean, and
you shouldn't feel like that. I think the more vulnerable
people can be on major platforms, the more people realize like,
it's okay, that pressure ain't about nothing, because it's gonna
keep coming and coming and coming and coming, and it's
(22:23):
nothing you can do about it. There's also nothing you
can do about the fact that you might not be
ready to handle the pressure. That's been a lot of
things this year that I had to say to myself,
you ain't ready for that, Laura, you jumping into fast girl,
sit down you you cannot handle that. But when things
have come that I feel like I can handle my
new relationship or just even this podcast, then like managing
(22:48):
this and figuring out team and figuring out what my
voice is here, I'm like, yeah, you're ready, you are,
but here's everything you said you wanted to do, so
here's everything. Or on the other side, that you're gonna
needed to do it, get it done. And I think
when you're that vulnerable and you're that you know, out
loud about it with yourself and other people, the sense
of accountability you have to maintain because you don't put
(23:10):
it out there now is different. So I'm never against
having these conversations. I didn't walk away from this conversation like,
oh my god, why, like I didn't. I know, people
took issue with some of the questions I was asked,
and you know what, And I'm like, I didn't mind it,
So I don't know why you guys should mind it.
And maybe you know again, I didn't mind it because
(23:32):
I'm looking at myself as kind of like a vessel
of there's somebody out there that has given too much
to the wrong situation. It needs to hear. Just because
you did that once and it ended in a shipwreck
doesn't mean it's gonna happen again. But let's doubt back
and let's learn what we did in that situation that
(23:52):
could have been done a little bit different. Over here.
Everything in life is trialing area and I don't mind
being supposed kid for that. We'll tell y all though
I ain't gonna try and air for too long about
certain things like that's gonna happen for the rest of
my life, but about certain I'm a person that like,
let's get to the solution, you know what I'm saying.
I think that's also why I'm so open about being vulnerables,
(24:13):
because I know, at the end of the day, anything
that I'm willing to get on a platform and talk
about are things that I'm actively working on myself. And
I'm gonna be honest. I don't know when I got
this sense of girl, you gotta do better. But hopefully
these type of conversations will motivate you guys to also
look at, you know, some of the things that your life,
in your life that you're either not trying to be
(24:35):
honest with yourself about, running from real conversations about and
just realize, like it happens to the best of us,
uncomfortable conversations, moments that you wish you could take back,
and it's not the end of the world. But there's
been other, you know, conversations I've had to have and
work and in business, and I think I also learned
this year that like growing up the way I did
(24:57):
with having to always figure things out. Made me a
little people pleasey for sure. And when I realized that
that was a game changer because now I'm always able
to catch myself when I'm doing it, and I'm always
able to have a conversation like, all right, are you
trying to please the people or is it that you
really care? Does that or that? Does that really that
(25:18):
issue that you're taking with this? Is it because of
the people pleasing thing? Or is it because you you
really feel like if you pay attention to this and
listen to this, it'll it'll progress you. And that has
actually been able to talk about. I mentioned, uh, you know,
setting boundaries, you know, with my dad in this episode
that has that has nothing to do with my dad
(25:40):
at all. That has a lot to do with my
mother and our relationship. But that's been able to protect
me so much when I had to be like, uh, girl,
now why are you doing that? So if I'll take
a listen to the full conversation, y'all, I think it's
definitely one. Uh definitely want to watch, one to listen to.
And I want you, guys, when I post this, you know,
(26:01):
live to the podcast and to wherever else will be.
I want to hear from you, guys. I'm Loaura la
Rosa everywhere and want you to watch the conversation and
let me know what was your first thought, your first reaction,
and what conversation did it spark for you with yourself,
with people in your life, all of the things. And
I'll close with I was reading this article on Refinery
twenty nine. They did this article a few days ago,
(26:23):
and the title of the article is what do we
lose when Black women in journalism disappear? Dot dot everything? Period?
And there's been a lot of conversation about the erasure
of you know, black voice in the media space and
the journalists space and personality space, because there's been a
(26:43):
lot of recent mergers and acquisitions with outlets that have
cost a lot of black journalists to lose their jobs.
We talked about Rolling Stone merging with Vibe a few
episodes ago. If you have not taken a listen to that,
please go listen. But in this article specifically, which was
written by a journalist named Ebanie Walker, the question that
(27:05):
it's posed is what necessary perspective perspectives do we lose
and what questions go unasks and unanswered when black journalists
are among the first to be seen as disposable on
a mast head. And I'm be honest with y'all the
conversation that I had with doctor Joele Tubman on the
Breakfast Club. Please go check out that conversation if you
have not seen it. It's one of the conversations we lose.
Imagine if there was no Breakfast Club to be able
(27:30):
to facilitate a conversation between an older black male and
a younger black woman about relationships, sex, timelines in a relationship,
intention in a relationship, daddy daughter stuff. And I think
that that's part of the reason too, now that I'm
thinking about it, I think part of the reason people
(27:52):
were triggered by the conversation with me and doctor Tubman.
Not everybody, but I think for some people it's tough
to see a man have a conversation with a younger
with a young woman in that way. I think it
feels very judgy to some people. I think it can
feel very it's my way or the highway, yeah, and
(28:16):
I can I can understand people feeling that way, but
I do think that I don't know, I think we
should be able to have those conversations still because I
think you know when I read this article Refinery twenty
nine and it talked about the fact that teen Vogue
now well as of November fourteen, twenty twenty five, it
(28:36):
was reported that teen Vogue stands with zero black women
or trans folks on their staff. And it just made
me think about everything I saw on television and heard
on the radio when I was a child that inspired
what I wanted to do and how I wanted to
do it. You're talking about vulnerable conversations. I mean, I
feel like when I used to listen to the radio
and watch TV, like when I was coming up, you
(28:58):
could literally learn from episodes of The Cosby Show and
you know, living single and a different world. And I
mean she even Wendy Williams on the radio, the conversation
she wasn't afraid to get into and dig into, even
though she was very protective of her personal life. Like
those type of things are what motivated me to even
be okay and want to do things like you know,
(29:20):
the conversation with doctor Joele Tubman. Imagine if I was
never able to see that. But also too, I think
we're always teaching other people how to treat us, and
I think not being able to have certain conversations or
have certain people who understand things because you know, black
(29:40):
people just know black people. Right. It's dangerous because it's like,
what are the checks and balances in the room. Who's
teaching who how to talk about us, how to talk
to us, how to you know what I'm saying. It's
scary when you think about it. The article talks about
things like this happening. Right, So the zero, the alleged
(30:01):
or reported zero black women are transfolk on their staff,
you know. But then they also mention it's been reported
that fifteen percent of reporters who cover social issues and
policy are black, and that's according to a twenty twenty
two Pew Research study. Now, of that number, it starts
to get smaller. That number drops to about seven percent
(30:22):
when you talk about entertainment, and that number drops a
five percent when you talk about government and politics. Again,
it's who's in the room to really make people understand
how to talk about us, how to talk to us,
but also how to teach us. When we come to
these outlets and we want to learn and understand and grow,
who's there to do it? So I think that there's
(30:45):
a centenaris of responsibility in my opinion, and hey, I'm
open for debate when you're on these platforms to like
you know, charlam Mane always sys in the morning when
they open the breakfast club, like another day to be
of service to the people. I just think this is
a part as I'm figuring out, like my walk and
my fight for myself, I think this is all a
part of it. Like I'm growing in front of the
(31:08):
world because I want to tell somebody else that it's
okay to do that. But also as I'm growing, someone's
attached to that and they're growing with me, and there's
a responsibility to that. You know, we have a good
time and we jokey joke and all the things, and
there's a responsibility to that at the end of the day.
And I can't we as black people, can't get around that.
(31:28):
Even if you don't try, even if you don't think
about it, there is someone attached to everything that you're doing.
And as I'm learning to be intentional on so many
things about about my life, I want to learn and
be intentional when I'm behind any microphone as well too,
as much as I can be in people's business. And
y'all know, I could do it with the sources and
all the things. I also want to have conversations like
(31:49):
this that get into things and just that pull back
the veil enough to make a person feel so comfortable
with me in any place from Mamaw and that they're
willing to learn and listen. That's it, that's all. I'm
Lorna Rosa. This is another episode of the Latest with
(32:10):
Lorna Rosa. And at the end of the day, my Lowriders,
I tell y'all all the time, you guys could be
anywhere with anybody having this conversation, but y'all choose to
be right here with me, and I appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
Guys.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Okay, I will catch you in my next episode.
I'm a homegrow that knows a little bit about everything
and everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
You don't know if you don't lie about that.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Right, Hey, y'all, what's up. It's Laura l Rosa and
this is the Latest with Laura de Rosa. This is
your Deli dig on all things pop culture, entertainment, news,
and all of the conversations that shake the room. Baby.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Today we have a mixture of the two. And so
I love conversations and news and topics that kind of
live right there now. So I made that the tagline
for this podcast. So jumping right on into the latest, Uh,
we had doctor Joelle Tudman on the Breakfast Club. Doctor
Joel Tubman is a faith leader. He's an actor, a
(00:50):
mental health advocate, and an author. He's actually a USA
Today a best selling author. His book that he was
on the Breakfast Club to promote, which is called The
Fight to Find Yourself, recently was named one the USA
USA Today's best sellers. Currently available for purchase. This book
about finding yourself. It b This is the definition written
(01:12):
on his website. It blends practical teaching with deeply personal stories,
guided readers through the challenges of grief, confusion, and identity
toward renewed hope, joy and self discovery. This book, to me,
was all about It was a very honest I mean
for what I know, I don't know. I didn't know
(01:33):
doctor Joel Tudman before I met him at the breakfast
club prior to our conversation that I'm about to talk
to you guys about. But taking him at his word
and he is a pastor, this book is all about
a very honest look into going from who am I,
Why am I? And why am I doing? Why am
(01:54):
I processing this way? Why am I thinking this way?
And all of those things to knowing and understand exactly
the answer to those questions, and that guiding how you
are maneuvering throughout the world from relationships, I mean, like
you know, personal relationships like wayfrom girlfriend, wife, husband, well
in his instance, his wife, his relationship with his children,
(02:15):
decisions he was making in his personal life and career,
and you know, just a lot of different things. And
it's kind of like a book that teaches you how
to work through as you're on your own own fight
to figure this out. So he's at the breakfast club
and we get into a conversation about me and about
the fact that I am still figuring out a lot
(02:35):
of things, and I don't run from that. Let's take
a listen to the conversation. There's certain conversations I've never had.
Like we had a financial conversation the other day and
I was like, no one has ever.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
It's the first time you had it.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
It's very new. But so it's been some months, but
we've been dating for longer than that. But we've been
dating for about a year. But officially.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
That is not new. I wish I had a computers,
like do you like doing me?
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I think I've had to learn. You've had to learn
how to be very different in this stage in my life,
not even relationship, just because of like career and a
lot of things. So I took a lot more time
with certain things this time around sex, like being in
public with each other. I took time before I did that.
(03:22):
It's still not in public sneaky videos and see, we're
still taking our time.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
The path. Have you slept with him within three and
sixty five days since? Okay? You have?
Speaker 3 (03:37):
You have had sex with this man multiple times? H
look at your mind. You've slept with this man. You
have a smile on your face, you are. You're enjoying
that you have slept with this man multiple times. You
should be that enthusiastic about everything else.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
But I'm saying this is the first time that I am.
Like in other situations, there have been things that I when.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Did you find out about his credit? And what month?
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Probably like within the first month, then.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
When did you sleep with him? You don't want to
tell me, Okay, what this is not? No, I'm just
you know, I don't even want to go there, but
you just pray.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Now, let's just get this.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
I want to get this thought out because I want
to hear what you have to say. Because one of
the things I enjoyed learning was how you and your
wife are in your fight, because one of the things
I've realized with us is we're both in kind of
like the trying to figure out our life separate of
a relationship, but it just so happens that we're together
doing it now. And I thought that it was great
how she knows, how she knew how to support you,
(04:35):
and because sometimes things can feel like.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
This is my wife, you're his girlfriend, yes.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
But still even in frank not even in friend.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
It's just a completely different responsibility and a completely different.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Role, but take out relationship like boyf and girlfriends. Even
in friendships, right, there are times where you feel like
you're giving more to a friendship than you're receiving. And
you talked about vulnerability and vulnerability being a bad thing.
That was the first time I've ever heard somebody say that.
And the reason why I brought it up is because
in situations like this, when things do feel good, you're
always wondering, am I allowing certain things to happen because
(05:06):
it feels good? Or is it really where it's supposed
to be? Relationship, friendship, whatever? How do you deal with
that thought?
Speaker 3 (05:14):
I don't want to go to that thought because I
want to go back to your first original thought.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
This is an escape, go back to where we were.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Go ahead.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
When did you find out about his credit?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
First month or first month of us being in a relationship,
not the first month of us dating.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Did y'all talk about your faith?
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Yes? When that was probably like one of our first
in person conversations, our first time in person, that happy
hour conversation. I was sitting there and I'm like, man,
this man is amazing, Like I would love to get
to know more about him, not just as myself.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Now, let me ask you this.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
When you said that, where were you psychologically emotionally? Did
you know yourself before you made that decision?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
No, I don't think I fully know myself.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Now, how much of yourself do you know? What do
you know about yourself?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Well, I know a lot about myself, but I don't
think that I'm fully through like my fight.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Like how you so you're still fighting one hundred.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I didn't even begin the fight, honestly, probably until this year,
because I didn't know that it was a fight to
be had.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I just figured that's so powerful because I just told
him that that sometimes when you were in a relationship,
this is not your relationship.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Oh hey, I'm enjoying this.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
I think sometimes when you're in a relationship, when you
get healed, when you actually find you, it opens up
your eyes so much that you start looking at all
of your choices and all of your decisions, and you
can see the unhealthy picks, the unhealthy partners, the unhealthy conversations.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Okay, Now I have had people calling me about this conversation,
text to me about the conversation, and I have not
responded nor answered any of it because I wanted to
come to the podcast the Ladys with one of the
Roads and have a very honest conversation and reaction to
(06:58):
the conversation without other people's like feelings and well why
did it like, you know, all of that getting into it.
So I see nothing wrong with the conversation. If I
did in the moment, I would have said I don't
want to have this conversation anymore. I felt like I
was in a position where if that's what I wanted
(07:19):
to do or say, I could have done that. That's
number one. Number Two, I think it's really tough to
be vulnerable in front of the world on a platform
like the Breakfast Club. You know, you got millions of
listeners across radio, millions of viewers across social media. Very
very difficult, right. But I think that conversations like this
(07:41):
that are very honest, that are very vulnerable, that might
be a little bit uncomfortable. Because there were points where
I was uncomfortable, But it wasn't because I didn't want
to have the conversation. It was Number one. I felt, Okay,
this is a lot to be saying to number one,
a pastor, but also this is a lot to just
be saying to a pastor or someone that I don't
(08:01):
know personally, So there's a lot of like background things
and you know, just all of that that he's not
going to know or understand because he doesn't know me.
This is our second time meeting. But I wasn't uncomfortable
in the conversation to the point where I didn't want
to have it. It was more like I felt like,
at a certain point, Okay, I'm trying to explain things
like I'm trying to explain the sky being blue to
(08:25):
a person who doesn't have their eyes open enough to
see the sky is blue, and not because they're malicious
or their intent is to harm me or to try
and you know, be aggressive with me, or you know,
just embarrassing me or anything like that, just because naturally,
if you're walking into a situation where you don't know
someone or know all of the surrounding facts, you're kind
(08:47):
of put at a you're kind of putting like he
could only speak to me about the things we were
having a conversation about in that moment, and I'm like, okay,
I don't think and he even said it in the conversation,
He's Okay, this is a long conversation because I think
even he began to realize, there's no way we can
have this conversation right here and this amount of time
that we have, and you gather enough from me in
(09:09):
a situation to really be able to coach me through this.
And the reason why we ended up here is because
I think, not even think. It is because I know
that at this point in my life, I've just been
so different about a lot of things that I'm doing,
a lot of the people that are in my life,
a lot of the people that I communicate with every
(09:29):
day versus that I don't choose to communicate with every
day things I'm involving myself in. And I'm not perfect.
I still crash out every now and then, you know
what I'm saying. I'm not a queen crash out no
more but grab the crowd every now and then. But yeah,
I just things have just been different and and have changed,
and I think a lot of it is, you know,
my age, I'm getting older. Also career wise, things are
(09:51):
in a different place, and you know, there's always a
thing of protecting that, but also not even just protecting
and wanting to gain, because I think I'm keeping everything.
It's more so about my intention as I'm trying to
really figure out my intention and a lot of the
things that I'm doing people, I'm interacting with, people, I'm
allowing in my life and in my personal space, the ideas,
the thoughts, the you know, everything on my day to day.
(10:14):
As I'm trying to figure that out, I'm learning that
there's a lot of things that I have to unlearn
and do completely different. And that's my fight, and that's
what I'm going through literally daily. That is what I'm
going through as my fight to figure out who Lauren
really is. And I think I've always been like a
very confident person, knowing myself enough to know, Okay, here
(10:38):
are the goals I want to set for the year,
Here's what I want to get done. If I experience
something I don't like, I'm not afraid to say I
don't like it. If I experience something I love, I'm
not afraid to say, hey, I love it. But I
think that there's a deeper fight to find yourself when
you really I've been just in a real space of
(10:58):
I don't want to just be happy to be anywhere,
and I don't want to just be anywhere. And I
don't mean that by oh, I'm put up, I'm in
the crabe, I'm the outside on the couches, because every
now and then you're gonna catch me on some couches.
But I mean that in the sense of like why,
what is the why? And the more I think about that,
the more I'm open to having these conversations because I
(11:20):
think a lot of people that have anything going on
for themselves, whether your career is propping right now and
you got the you know, the ideal family and the
picture frame that everybody wants you bind you out here
being able to shop and get fly and lift whatever
is the highlight of your like success or like what
success looks like to you. Whenever you are on a
(11:42):
very strong path to that and things are working out,
people look at you like, Okay, you got everything together,
so you must know yourself. You must you must have
found yourself like all of those things, Like people don't
realize that two things can also be true. And I
think for me, I think the beauty and what I'm
experiencing right now is and if I'm being honest with y'all,
(12:04):
I think a lot of the reason why when you
guys are meeting me here on the latest with along
the roads of the podcast, or you're meeting me over
at the breakfast club. You stick along for the journey
to figure out, you know, what's happening the next day,
the next week, the next month. Because because I've been
very honest about the fact that I don't have it
all together, I'm gonna mess up. I'm gonna you know,
(12:27):
I'm an overachiever about a lot. Sometimes that's great for me.
Sometimes that hinders me. I don't have every answer that like.
I think there are so many people who don't do
and don't have those conversations on these platforms, Like I
just never mind doing it. And I think even bigger
than myself removing myself, I think that it helps people.
(12:51):
I don't know all the ways it helps people, because
people receive things differently depending on what they need at
the time. But I do think it helps people. To
be able to hear you be self accountable like that,
to be able to hear you be a little uncomfortable
like that, to be able to hear you be just
(13:12):
like willing to from a very honest place. Just how
the truth. Yo, this is what's going on. Here's what
I'm experiencing, here's why, here's what I've changed, Here's why
I've changed that. And then I think in relationship too.
You know, for me, I've always wondered like women who
are super career driven, who have so much going on
(13:33):
for themselves, and the few of them that are able
to balance, and I think that that stigma has to
begin to die down a bit, like you can't have
it all, but it's hard. But the women that I
see that are actually in these relationships, that are actually
in these marriages, and that are actually happy. And I
don't mean like happy where it's like it's picture perfect,
(13:53):
do it for the gram, do it for the red carpet,
like that type of thing. I mean like actually feel
like they have a partner, a person that like not
only finishes their sentence but completes their life in a
real way. They had to get to a place where
what I'm going through right now in real life, where
like I'm being like, Okay, I don't want to be
like this, I don't want to show up like this.
(14:15):
I also kind of need to be honest about the
fact that I may show up like there's some days
in this relationship because it's something that I want to change,
but it's not something that I have changed yet, and
like where does it lie if I'm not this perfect person,
this perfect girl, you know, the cute girl from the
radio and Instagram and all of that, Like where do
you lie in my life? And what does your unconditional
(14:36):
love look like?
Speaker 2 (14:38):
For me?
Speaker 1 (14:39):
And that's not just in relationship with a boyfriend or
you know, for anybody, or like it's with the male
and their girlfriend or whoever you're dating. I think about
that in relationships, just in friendships and work relationships, like
I have so many common And this conversation even went
into a conversation about you know, me and Charlemagne and
and envy and like just our dynamic in a room
(15:00):
and more so me and Charlottmagne and just you know,
some things I've learned about myself in being very honest
and being open to tell people, hey, this is what
I'm experiencing or this is how I feel, or being
defensive when maybe I shouldn't have been, or been defensive
when I should have been. It's opened me up to
conversations that have really helped me to take a step
(15:23):
outside myself and just look at things and then from
there be able to be like, Okay, here's everything I've experienced,
Here's everything I've learned, Here's everything I haven't learned, but
I want to learn. I just gotta figure out where
to learn it from. Because I was open enough to respond,
or I was open enough to be emotional in a conversation,
(15:44):
or you know, like I just I just want at
the end of me finding myself and my path and
all of this, I really just want people to be
able to say I've been able to like learn and
grow and do everything I need to do to further
progress myself when I get to that point where I
(16:05):
felt like I'm so stagnant because what else am I
supposed to do? I'm the smartest person in my friend group,
or I'm the yo. We were talking about this today
on the radio, simming from this conversation. It made me
start thinking too about like how much of my cause
A lot of the conversation and I want you guys
to go check out the full interview over on the
Breakfast Clubs, a YouTube channel. In on the podcast, some
(16:34):
of the conversation also went into how much of my
dad not being a consistent person in my life depends
or has resulted in some of the feelings in a
different traits that I have, and I took it a
step further and I'm like, you know, I don't even
think it was just that, yeah, that contributed to it.
I realized from the time that I spent with my dad,
probably like two summers ago, which was probably the most
(16:56):
consistent time that we ever spent together, in the closest
time we ever spent together for a few weeks, I
realized then, like, I've never really understood what it was
like to trust a man to do anything, to make
decisions for me, to love me, to lead me, not
fully like it's different because I have uncles, I have
a stepdad, like I have a brother, So I have
(17:19):
been in my life who do certain things, but it's
different when it's from your dad. And they're also not
one hundred percent in the way that they show up
in my life. So I think when you have and
even with the father thing, I think a lot of
my friends who did grow up with a father in
the household experienced disappointment in the same way that I
have without a father in the household. I think that
(17:41):
it's a it's a very child like innocence where your
dad is the super hero, period there are no faults,
and then you get to a certain point where like
you realize, oh no, he's human. And it's weird because
I feel like I've experienced all of those emotions, which
has brought me to the point of being able to
be vulnerable and have the conversation like what I had
(18:02):
with you know, on the show with Doctor Tubman, because
I've been able to go through all those emotions and
I've gotten to a really good place about it, Like
even on days where it's not the easiest thing to experience,
I'm at the place where I'm like, Okay, I know
this man is human and I ain't gonna hold him
too you know, but so much. But I also know
as a human being as well, I got upset my
(18:23):
own boundaries. It's taught me a lot about boundaries. But
also being an oldest child in a household with a
single mom, I've always had to figure it out like
I've always had my I literally can hear my mom's voice. Now,
nobody's coming to save you. If you don't have an answer,
you better find one, literally, And I think very strong
(18:44):
way to raise a child. You can put me anywhere
on the earth. I'm gonna triple my worth for real,
for real. But at the same time, I think it
has never allowed for me to allow other people in friendship,
relationship or whatever in certain ways, like I've always been
coachable and teachable, but there are certain ways and certain
(19:05):
things where if it's worked for me, I'm sticking to
that and there's nothing you can tell me. And I
think that that goes into my blind loyalty to people
even when I shouldn't be. Like there's been so much
dial back and conversation I've been able to have with myself,
and I'm like, these are conversations we should be having
because nobody has it all figured out. Nobody don't care
me follows, you got how paid you are, Nobody has
(19:29):
it all figured out. And I think even when you
get to a point where you have it all figured out,
like I got into a point when I was living
in LA and I'm like, okay, I'm able to pay
my bills everybody straight, I'm like, this is cool. Like
I could be on cruise Control, i could pay rent. Now,
you know what I'm saying, everybody's cool. Life is good.
Right now. I'm doing what I you know, what I
(19:50):
love to do at least for the most part, what
I love to do, and then things when haywire and
I'm like, dang, at every level of your life at
any second, you could just have to be back in
that position to figure it out. And I think being
able to have conversations like this give people real tools
to go back and watch and listen to to be
able to be like I mean, sometimes the answer is
(20:13):
is you doing the best that you can and that's
all you can do until you realize you should be
doing more, and then you go seek proper resources and
you know, all the things to figure out what that
more looks like. Because up until this year, I'm be
honest with y'all, there was a lot of things that
I would never do today that last year you couldn't
(20:34):
tell me nothing about. But there was like this awakening
of I don't know, like I just not even that
I don't know, I feel like it was. It definitely
is a faith journey, Like I think, the more that
I locked into what I feel like not even I
don't know for sure, so I won't say what I
feel like, the more I locked into wanting to understand
what my purpose in life is and what my purpose
(20:54):
in the things that God has blessed me with is
the more I begin to lose type for certain things.
And I'm still trying to lose appetite for a little
bit of things. You know what I'm saying. There's still
some things that I feel like I need to lose
appetite four And I know that until I do that,
I won't be blessed with certain things. But the fact
that I'm even like aware and accountable that is so
(21:15):
different from me than how I was last year. And
I don't think there's anything wrong with it. And I think,
especially when you're young and you're figuring out career and
your voice, yo, you get There'll be some days when
I leave work or even if i'm watching other people
on air or like people on blogs or on X
I'm like, man, people be so hypocritical, And I know
(21:38):
I can be hypocritical too, Not even people like I'm
saying about y'all. I'm saying, like, as a people, we
can be so hypocritical. And I always think, what is
the best version of myself? Where everything I'm saying I'm
gonna do and everything I'm saying I want to be
and show up ass, I'm actually doing it. I wasn't
thinking like this last year and next year is gonna
be another version of it. And there's nothing wrong with saying,
(22:00):
here's exactly what I'm doing now to be better. Don't
got it all figured out. But that doesn't mean I'm
some like aimless shooter, you know what I mean, and
you shouldn't feel like that. I think the more vulnerable
people can be on major platforms, the more people realize like,
it's okay, that pressure ain't about nothing, because it's gonna
keep coming and coming and coming and coming, and it's
(22:23):
nothing you can do about it. There's also nothing you
can do about the fact that you might not be
ready to handle the pressure. That's been a lot of
things this year that I had to say to myself,
you ain't ready for that, Laura, you jumping into fast girl,
sit down you you cannot handle that. But when things
have come that I feel like I can handle my
new relationship or just even this podcast, then like managing
(22:48):
this and figuring out team and figuring out what my
voice is here, I'm like, yeah, you're ready, you are,
but here's everything you said you wanted to do, so
here's everything. Or on the other side, that you're gonna
needed to do it, get it done. And I think
when you're that vulnerable and you're that you know, out
loud about it with yourself and other people, the sense
of accountability you have to maintain because you don't put
(23:10):
it out there now is different. So I'm never against
having these conversations. I didn't walk away from this conversation like,
oh my god, why, like I didn't. I know, people
took issue with some of the questions I was asked,
and you know what, And I'm like, I didn't mind it,
So I don't know why you guys should mind it.
And maybe you know again, I didn't mind it because
(23:32):
I'm looking at myself as kind of like a vessel
of there's somebody out there that has given too much
to the wrong situation. It needs to hear. Just because
you did that once and it ended in a shipwreck
doesn't mean it's gonna happen again. But let's doubt back
and let's learn what we did in that situation that
(23:52):
could have been done a little bit different. Over here.
Everything in life is trialing area and I don't mind
being supposed kid for that. We'll tell y all though
I ain't gonna try and air for too long about
certain things like that's gonna happen for the rest of
my life, but about certain I'm a person that like,
let's get to the solution, you know what I'm saying.
I think that's also why I'm so open about being vulnerables,
(24:13):
because I know, at the end of the day, anything
that I'm willing to get on a platform and talk
about are things that I'm actively working on myself. And
I'm gonna be honest. I don't know when I got
this sense of girl, you gotta do better. But hopefully
these type of conversations will motivate you guys to also
look at, you know, some of the things that your life,
in your life that you're either not trying to be
(24:35):
honest with yourself about, running from real conversations about and
just realize, like it happens to the best of us,
uncomfortable conversations, moments that you wish you could take back,
and it's not the end of the world. But there's
been other, you know, conversations I've had to have and
work and in business, and I think I also learned
this year that like growing up the way I did
(24:57):
with having to always figure things out. Made me a
little people pleasey for sure. And when I realized that
that was a game changer because now I'm always able
to catch myself when I'm doing it, and I'm always
able to have a conversation like, all right, are you
trying to please the people or is it that you
really care? Does that or that? Does that really that
(25:18):
issue that you're taking with this? Is it because of
the people pleasing thing? Or is it because you you
really feel like if you pay attention to this and
listen to this, it'll it'll progress you. And that has
actually been able to talk about. I mentioned, uh, you know,
setting boundaries, you know, with my dad in this episode
that has that has nothing to do with my dad
(25:40):
at all. That has a lot to do with my
mother and our relationship. But that's been able to protect
me so much when I had to be like, uh, girl,
now why are you doing that? So if I'll take
a listen to the full conversation, y'all, I think it's
definitely one. Uh definitely want to watch, one to listen to.
And I want you, guys, when I post this, you know,
(26:01):
live to the podcast and to wherever else will be.
I want to hear from you, guys. I'm Loaura la
Rosa everywhere and want you to watch the conversation and
let me know what was your first thought, your first reaction,
and what conversation did it spark for you with yourself,
with people in your life, all of the things. And
I'll close with I was reading this article on Refinery
twenty nine. They did this article a few days ago,
(26:23):
and the title of the article is what do we
lose when Black women in journalism disappear? Dot dot everything? Period?
And there's been a lot of conversation about the erasure
of you know, black voice in the media space and
the journalists space and personality space, because there's been a
(26:43):
lot of recent mergers and acquisitions with outlets that have
cost a lot of black journalists to lose their jobs.
We talked about Rolling Stone merging with Vibe a few
episodes ago. If you have not taken a listen to that,
please go listen. But in this article specifically, which was
written by a journalist named Ebanie Walker, the question that
(27:05):
it's posed is what necessary perspective perspectives do we lose
and what questions go unasks and unanswered when black journalists
are among the first to be seen as disposable on
a mast head. And I'm be honest with y'all the
conversation that I had with doctor Joele Tubman on the
Breakfast Club. Please go check out that conversation if you
have not seen it. It's one of the conversations we lose.
Imagine if there was no Breakfast Club to be able
(27:30):
to facilitate a conversation between an older black male and
a younger black woman about relationships, sex, timelines in a relationship,
intention in a relationship, daddy daughter stuff. And I think
that that's part of the reason too, now that I'm
thinking about it, I think part of the reason people
(27:52):
were triggered by the conversation with me and doctor Tubman.
Not everybody, but I think for some people it's tough
to see a man have a conversation with a younger
with a young woman in that way. I think it
feels very judgy to some people. I think it can
feel very it's my way or the highway, yeah, and
(28:16):
I can I can understand people feeling that way, but
I do think that I don't know, I think we
should be able to have those conversations still because I
think you know when I read this article Refinery twenty
nine and it talked about the fact that teen Vogue
now well as of November fourteen, twenty twenty five, it
(28:36):
was reported that teen Vogue stands with zero black women
or trans folks on their staff. And it just made
me think about everything I saw on television and heard
on the radio when I was a child that inspired
what I wanted to do and how I wanted to
do it. You're talking about vulnerable conversations. I mean, I
feel like when I used to listen to the radio
and watch TV, like when I was coming up, you
(28:58):
could literally learn from episodes of The Cosby Show and
you know, living single and a different world. And I
mean she even Wendy Williams on the radio, the conversation
she wasn't afraid to get into and dig into, even
though she was very protective of her personal life. Like
those type of things are what motivated me to even
be okay and want to do things like you know,
(29:20):
the conversation with doctor Joele Tubman. Imagine if I was
never able to see that. But also too, I think
we're always teaching other people how to treat us, and
I think not being able to have certain conversations or
have certain people who understand things because you know, black
(29:40):
people just know black people. Right. It's dangerous because it's like,
what are the checks and balances in the room. Who's
teaching who how to talk about us, how to talk
to us, how to you know what I'm saying. It's
scary when you think about it. The article talks about
things like this happening. Right, So the zero, the alleged
(30:01):
or reported zero black women are transfolk on their staff,
you know. But then they also mention it's been reported
that fifteen percent of reporters who cover social issues and
policy are black, and that's according to a twenty twenty
two Pew Research study. Now, of that number, it starts
to get smaller. That number drops to about seven percent
(30:22):
when you talk about entertainment, and that number drops a
five percent when you talk about government and politics. Again,
it's who's in the room to really make people understand
how to talk about us, how to talk to us,
but also how to teach us. When we come to
these outlets and we want to learn and understand and grow,
who's there to do it? So I think that there's
(30:45):
a centenaris of responsibility in my opinion, and hey, I'm
open for debate when you're on these platforms to like
you know, charlam Mane always sys in the morning when
they open the breakfast club, like another day to be
of service to the people. I just think this is
a part as I'm figuring out, like my walk and
my fight for myself, I think this is all a
part of it. Like I'm growing in front of the
(31:08):
world because I want to tell somebody else that it's
okay to do that. But also as I'm growing, someone's
attached to that and they're growing with me, and there's
a responsibility to that. You know, we have a good
time and we jokey joke and all the things, and
there's a responsibility to that at the end of the day.
And I can't we as black people, can't get around that.
(31:28):
Even if you don't try, even if you don't think
about it, there is someone attached to everything that you're doing.
And as I'm learning to be intentional on so many
things about about my life, I want to learn and
be intentional when I'm behind any microphone as well too,
as much as I can be in people's business. And
y'all know, I could do it with the sources and
all the things. I also want to have conversations like
(31:49):
this that get into things and just that pull back
the veil enough to make a person feel so comfortable
with me in any place from Mamaw and that they're
willing to learn and listen. That's it, that's all. I'm
Lorna Rosa. This is another episode of the Latest with
(32:10):
Lorna Rosa. And at the end of the day, my Lowriders,
I tell y'all all the time, you guys could be
anywhere with anybody having this conversation, but y'all choose to
be right here with me, and I appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
Guys.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Okay, I will catch you in my next episode.
The Breakfast Club News
Hosts And Creators
Charlamagne Tha God
DJ Envy
Jess Hilarious
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