The Breakfast Club BEST OF - Best Sellers of 2025 - Mel Robbins, Dawn Staley, Allen Iverson + More - The Breakfast Club

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Wake you up, Wake Up program you Alarm the Power
one oh five point one on iHeartRadio.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
I like what y'all are doing because you're authentic and it.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
Has impact, you know, and people hold on to some
of these gems y'all made.

Speaker 4 (00:16):
Monk.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hey, bro, I'm a breakfast cluk.

Speaker 5 (00:19):
I don't feeding lock off.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
Maybe I love you guys watched the Breakfast Cloud flo
who's really tuned in?

Speaker 4 (00:27):
Your interviews are quite challenging.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
Somebody gotta do it. It's like I watched y'all show
in the morning, like you guys have the voices of the.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
Morning djam just hilarious.

Speaker 6 (00:42):
Charlemagne to god, everyone just kept telling the preference crazy
scared of Pokey hilarious, crazy scared Pokey hilarious.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
This is your time to get it off your chest
cool eight hundred five eighty five one o five one.
We want to hear from you on the Breakfast Club. Hello,
who's this yo?

Speaker 7 (01:03):
Boy in Charlemagne DJ Envy me.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
Day Day, Seized me Day, get it off your chest.

Speaker 4 (01:08):
Brother.

Speaker 7 (01:08):
Hey, Charlamagne, I gotta talk to you for a little bit.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
Yes, sir, Why you have to get that felt up
by Asian dudes?

Speaker 4 (01:15):
Up the nel so on.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
He likes it too. You see his gigy we went back.

Speaker 4 (01:18):
Listen.

Speaker 8 (01:18):
All I said was that when I'm in there sometimes
getting the manicure, one of the guys that worked there,
he'll come up behind you and give you a little
shoulder up, and you know, it was cool.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
He liked to get it to it and it's fun.

Speaker 7 (01:32):
But the weird thing was that she was like, oh,
I don't want Envy to show up, so he don't
see it.

Speaker 2 (01:36):
No. What happened with Clipping.

Speaker 8 (01:39):
Know what happened was last time I was in there,
Envy's wife and his daughter was in there, and then
I saw Homie lurking, and I was like, man, don't
come rub my shoulders right now, because I didn't want
them to go back and tell Envy because I know
they would have made it weird.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
Hey, yeah, yeah, go ahead, you telling yourself that.

Speaker 6 (01:54):
Man, Hey, I love the breakfast club at the Staff
Record Label and it's a cruel.

Speaker 8 (02:01):
But you know what was crazy though, why like like
football players, basketball players got male therapist physical trainers that
rubbed them down all day. I tell one story about
the Asian man giving me a shoulder rub, and now
you know, I'm questionable.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
You've always been questionable. That's not the team.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
You've always been questionable. It's not like one time you've
been questionable.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
Hello, who is this?

Speaker 5 (02:21):
Shave?

Speaker 4 (02:21):
Hey? Shave hey shave?

Speaker 2 (02:23):
What up though? Get it off your chest.

Speaker 7 (02:24):
Mama that morning.

Speaker 9 (02:27):
Yeah, I just wanted to let my family know that
I'm not mad at all for not telling me that
my cousin has been sleep through with my previous boy
friend's they're about five years since together. But they she
didn't know that that was theim or whatever she was
around when he was around. But she said he didn't
know that was him. However, I just want to let
them know I'm not mad at them, they claimed. I mean,

(02:48):
they had funny like I should be the one that's
a fit, but they have it. But I'm like, Okay,
I'm not mad at all like this whatever, but I
just want to let my cousin I'm not.

Speaker 4 (02:57):
Mad at you.

Speaker 9 (02:57):
Girls ahead, and she allagedly pregnant by himself.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
D you got a new man, you should come with
your new man.

Speaker 6 (03:03):
You got a new man problem.

Speaker 4 (03:07):
She wasn't.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
She got about three of them. That's not a flex man.

Speaker 10 (03:10):
That don't walk in with all of them.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
That's not a flex okay, but you know what it
looks like.

Speaker 10 (03:15):
It seems like you dodged the bullet dough.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
So that's what's up, definitely.

Speaker 6 (03:18):
But I just want to let her know I'm not
mad at your girl.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
Go ahead, your that's how you get BV two. I
just want you to know that.

Speaker 11 (03:24):
But five years do your thank Wow, three.

Speaker 2 (03:29):
Or four men, and you an't gonna know where the
commedia came from. Hello, who's this man? My name is
get Off Jr.

Speaker 6 (03:39):
What's going on, Charlotte mane ivy uh?

Speaker 2 (03:42):
I don't know if about that?

Speaker 4 (03:44):
Now?

Speaker 6 (03:45):
About that? Hey man, I'd be a lot. I be
vised a lot, doing a lot of different things throughout
my years and stuff, doing stuff for the community and
all that stuff.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
And I'm the only brother, so.

Speaker 8 (03:57):
I just.

Speaker 6 (03:59):
I have the ideal through different things. But she just
put out a book, and I just read a book.

Speaker 7 (04:04):
I just read a book, and and.

Speaker 6 (04:06):
I just read a book, and your theme had all
of the domestic vice that.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
She went through, you know what I mean.

Speaker 6 (04:11):
And I found out all this stuff I read her book.
So I wanted to get this off. My chance to
apologize to my sister for not being the big brother.
And ain't I already know that she already uh you know,
you know, like how they trying to hold it back
from their brother.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
Yeah, stuff like that.

Speaker 6 (04:30):
You know, But I ain't know it was it was
to think I gotta do a lot of things. But man,
but like I said, I like he's doing a lot
of stuff, man, and really want paying attention. Man, And
I just want to like apologize to my.

Speaker 7 (04:43):
Little sister man, Jackie Gooseby. Man, she got the you
know what I'm saying, and she listened.

Speaker 4 (04:47):
Man.

Speaker 6 (04:47):
She she just put a book out there.

Speaker 7 (04:49):
Did anybody want to check it out? The call to
make my pen cry?

Speaker 2 (04:53):
That's how did she tell you that she was getting.

Speaker 6 (04:56):
I'm relearning, I'm sir, relearning to make my pen.

Speaker 8 (04:59):
Cry, relearning to make my paying right? Did she tell
you she was getting abused when she was getting abused?

Speaker 6 (05:03):
Take that again?

Speaker 2 (05:04):
Did she tell you she was getting abused when she
was getting abused?

Speaker 11 (05:06):
No, Man, I knew, I knew regular.

Speaker 7 (05:08):
I knew regular relationship.

Speaker 4 (05:10):
Self.

Speaker 11 (05:10):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying, But but it ain't
it ain't it ain't. It ain't go that, you know,
she ain't go that.

Speaker 6 (05:16):
Defer, Then when I talked to her when you're talking
to her, man, she was telling me that, you know
what I'm saying, you don't want to keep her thoullard
out of You know, I don't be I don't been
in trouble and all that, so you know what I'm saying.
So but at the end of today, man, I want
to polize my plan.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
Seem me very that. Man.

Speaker 6 (05:32):
I learned a lot of that stuff in that book. Man,
and they got me feeling got me really feeling bad.

Speaker 8 (05:37):
You know, don't beat yourself up too bad because it's
not like you knew what was going on and ignore
you That's right.

Speaker 6 (05:41):
Yeah, yeah, man, all right, I can get anybody your
their courage and courage. You know what I'm saying, They
ain't not just I mean taking this little free court man.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
I appreciate it, Yes, I appreciate you.

Speaker 3 (05:55):
Man.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
Get it off your chest eight hundred five eighty five
one O five one. If you need to vent, hit
up now. It's the breakfast club. Good morning, telling.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
I'm telling what's doing.

Speaker 4 (06:06):
Call of you?

Speaker 2 (06:07):
This is your time to get it off your chest,
whether you're mad or blessed. Eight hundred five one. We
want to hear from you on the breakfast clubs.

Speaker 4 (06:15):
Hello, who's this? Good morning? Good morning.

Speaker 7 (06:17):
I'm a remain anonymous.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
I don't know why y'all do this on the radio. Bro,
you can't see you. You can say my name is?
My name is called Ill.

Speaker 4 (06:26):
What's up called?

Speaker 2 (06:27):
Get it off your chest?

Speaker 4 (06:28):
Bro?

Speaker 7 (06:28):
There a hey, look man, I'm down here in Charlotte.
I wanted to talk about these ice rays and stuff.

Speaker 4 (06:35):
Man.

Speaker 7 (06:35):
So I worked at construction, right.

Speaker 6 (06:37):
And it's crazy.

Speaker 7 (06:38):
Uh you know it's majority ran by Republicans construction in
this year, right, So he got a lot of white guys.

Speaker 4 (06:44):
Stuff that are running this. Man.

Speaker 7 (06:46):
You should see how how much of a panic there
because nobody's showing up.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
On these job sites.

Speaker 8 (06:51):
Bro, I can imagine if I don't even know who
the hell he got working on the barroom right.

Speaker 7 (06:55):
Right, so like like you're talking like full trade. So
I was on the job yesterday and he's got still
erectors scheduled to come in to start putting up still
like the actual structure of the building, but the whole
the whole team of still erect it is called although
it didn't show up, you know what I mean. And
now they're all in a panic and I'm like, y'all
vooted for this man?

Speaker 2 (07:17):
Hello, who is Hey?

Speaker 7 (07:19):
What's going on? Say?

Speaker 4 (07:21):
Jay? What up?

Speaker 2 (07:21):
Get it off your chest?

Speaker 11 (07:22):
Jay?

Speaker 4 (07:23):
Man?

Speaker 11 (07:23):
Look, I just I just want to get a breakfast
of a shout out.

Speaker 4 (07:26):
Man.

Speaker 11 (07:27):
You guys really have been there this multiple times, you know,
from from the election to the scandals to the drama,
and you just you guys have just kept us just
in the zone with your entertainment, your humor. You know,
you're adverse thinking. You know, everybody has a collective and
I just think that's huge and it's important, especially for

(07:49):
our mental health. Man, to some people, some of us
don't even have anyone has turned to to talk about
our feelings or how we feel. And it's just good
to have that outlet.

Speaker 4 (07:58):
You know.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
I appreciate you. We appreciate y'all. Man, Thank you.

Speaker 8 (08:03):
The Breakfast Club is America's front porch. You can come
sit sit on our front porch any morning.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
Get it off your chest eight hundred and five eight five,
one oh five one. If you need de vic, call
us up right now. It's the Breakfast Club.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
Good morning morning.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
Everybody is DJ Envy just hilarious charlamage the guy.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
We are the Breakfast Club.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
Law La Rosa is here as well, and we got
a special guest in the building.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
Ladies and gentlemen, Mel Robbins, Welcome.

Speaker 5 (08:25):
Hey, it's good to see you. How you feeling morning,
I feel great. How are you doing?

Speaker 8 (08:29):
Bless Black and Holly favorite. This is your first time
in this studio. You were here in twenty twenty one
when you had a high five theory.

Speaker 5 (08:35):
Yes, yes, but now millions.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
Of books later, number one podcast in the world right now, yes.

Speaker 5 (08:44):
Six year old woman.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
You know it really feels like you've truly arrived. What
do you what do you think? You know the success?
What's made all this new success happen?

Speaker 5 (08:53):
Well, you know it's not new success.

Speaker 12 (08:55):
Like what you're seeing is the result of fifteen years
of just or grueling daily reps. Like That's what nobody
wants to understand, is that you can be successful. You
can achieve anything you want.

Speaker 5 (09:09):
You just have to be patient.

Speaker 12 (09:11):
You have to get up out of bed every single
day and put one foot in front of the other.
You got to be willing to do the things you
don't feel like doing in the dark, when nobody's watching,
and when you think that it's not gonna happen for you.

Speaker 5 (09:23):
That is what it's about.

Speaker 12 (09:24):
It's about just consistent, small moves, being patient. I mean,
there were so many times where I was just like,
am I ever gonna get out of it? Is anyone
ever gonna notice?

Speaker 3 (09:34):
Like?

Speaker 12 (09:34):
Am I ever gonna get invited to the breakfast club?
Like one of the like when is somebody done to notice.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
Your spot that you want it?

Speaker 4 (09:42):
Well?

Speaker 12 (09:42):
No, but seriously, like you kind of sit there because
I mean, every one of us have had those moments,
whether you're putting out music or you're starting a YouTube
channel or you started a business, and it's so easy
to look around at what everybody else is doing and
think that you're.

Speaker 5 (09:54):
Losing some race in life.

Speaker 12 (09:56):
The real game is with yourself and you keep can
you say to yourself, And this is kind of how
I would keep myself going in those moments. I would say,
I refuse to believe that this is how the story ends.
I believe that at some point all of this work
is going to pay off. I don't have to know how.
I have to believe that it will. And if it

(10:17):
hasn't yet, it's not meant to yet. There's some lesson.
There's something I'm being.

Speaker 5 (10:22):
Held for that. I don't know what it is.

Speaker 12 (10:25):
But if I choose to believe in this moment that
things are going to get better, that things are going
to turn out for me, that all this hard work
is going to pay off, that trying to be a
better person is going to pay off, at some point
I will look back on my life.

Speaker 5 (10:36):
And say, oh, that's why it didn't happen. Then, Oh,
that's why it took longer. Oh that's why.

Speaker 12 (10:42):
Either you weren't ready or God the universe was holding
you for a different moment.

Speaker 5 (10:47):
And so, you know, a lot of people ask me
what is this moment about.

Speaker 12 (10:50):
I think it's about fifteen years of ridiculously hard work
becoming a better person. I think it's about fifteen years
of just chipping away at getting out of debt and
doing better in my marriage, and being a better mother,
and getting control of my emotions and my mental health,
chipping away at building a business. And I truly believe

(11:12):
that I was being held for this moment like this
one thousand percent is my legacy.

Speaker 1 (11:16):
Well, let me ask you a question, Malt. You talk
about the reps, YEP, for you, it worked out and
successful and great. What about that person that is just
not good, right, that rap of that is not good?
Like trying that podcast person that is doing the podcast,
that is just not good. And everybody just stay good
good to anybody.

Speaker 5 (11:36):
Well I don't I see, I don't believe that.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
But when do you stop because you're a sixty year
old rapper like you know, I mean?

Speaker 12 (11:41):
Or maybe why cantheror be a ninety one ninety year
old one? See, maybe what the rapping is for is
maybe it's not about rapping. Maybe there is something that
you're doing when you are rapping and nobody's coming that
is teaching you a lesson about patience. Maybe what it's
doing is teaching you to believe in yourself when nobody

(12:02):
else does. And every time that you show up and
nobody's there, every time you post a video on your
YouTube channel that only your uncle and your son are
subscribed to, every time you post, you're basically saying, you
know what, screw the world, I believe in myself. I'm
doing this for myself and so for me. When you
give the example of like the person who's a rappers

(12:23):
is terrible, just there's lots of people out there doing
stuff they're just terrible. What I love is that they
felt called to do something. I don't care if they
felt called to do it because they wanted to make
more money. I mean, hell, I was working five six
jobs back, you know, fifteen years ago when we were
eight hundred thousand dollars in debt because I needed groceries
on the table, I needed gas in the tank. And
so motivation to be safe and to make money or

(12:46):
because of your ambition, that's a beautiful thing. But at
some point you're gonna go, I'm not that good at this,
but I believe, and this is what I think is
super cool about life. Absolutely every experience that you have
in life is leading you somewhere and teaching you something.
And I'm gonna one of the reasons why I share
so much about what I've learned and the mistakes that
I've made. I'm like the villain and every book is

(13:09):
because I'm stubborn, Like it takes a sledgehammer from the
universe for me to wake the hell up and stop
doing something like I literally get so into my groove,
whether it's drinking too much or taking my stress out
on my kids or being a jealous, insecure friend that
things have to backfire for me to wake up and go, well, yes,
I better try something different.

Speaker 8 (13:29):
Well, I want to just set it up about the book, man,
there's some books that I believe are must reads in life.
Delecting Theory by Mel Robbins has been added to that
must readless. My wife got it for me a few
weeks ago, and the book is just essentially about how
you have to stop wasting your life on things that
you can't control.

Speaker 2 (13:46):
When did you get to that revelus?

Speaker 5 (13:47):
Oh my god, fifty four? I am a learner, you know.

Speaker 12 (13:51):
And the funny thing is is I'm married to the
chillest dude on the plan. I mean, I'm married to
a man who is not only Buddhist, he is a
death duela. And like when you want to talk about
like a person, yeah that can just sit in stillness.
I'm like a tornado of emotion. And so I've always
wanted to let things go. I've always wanted to not
care what people think. I've never known how. And see,

(14:14):
when you're stressed, or you're easily offended like I used
to be, or you have a lot going on, it
is very hard to not get wrapped up and what
other people are thinking and doing it's very hard to
not let what your kids are going through stress you out.
And so you know, I've been trying to do this forever.
I mean, this is not a new idea. The serenity

(14:35):
prayer is the let Them theory. In fact, you know,
I sat down with doctor Martin Luther King the third
and his wife and Andrea, and they both said, we
write about it in the let Them theory. They both
reflect on the fact that this concept that you have
to give up control in order to gain control, that
your power is in your response.

Speaker 5 (14:54):
That this is part of doctor Martin Luther King Junior's.

Speaker 12 (14:56):
Legacy because your response is what dictates who you are.

Speaker 5 (15:02):
It's not what's happening out there.

Speaker 12 (15:05):
It's how you respond to it with your thoughts and
your actions and how you process your own emotions. And
so I did not know this until I was fifty
four years old. And you know, for me personally, the
power of these two words because let them.

Speaker 5 (15:20):
We've all said let them in our lives a bazillion times.

Speaker 12 (15:22):
I mean, there's a sermon circulating that's twenty years old,
Dad Jakes doing this let them sermons. So this is
a concept that has been around since the beginning of time.
And that's why this is resonated. I'm not teaching you
something new, I'm reminding you of what you already know
to be true, and I'm handing you this tool so
you can snap out of this crap where we're constantly

(15:43):
worked up about what other people are doing to take
our power back.

Speaker 13 (15:46):
You talk about managing other people a lot, and I've
never heard the term put like that, but you use
it to basically talk about how we're still what's you're
talking about me?

Speaker 3 (15:55):
Now?

Speaker 13 (15:55):
We're worried about other people, but also too, I think
it's expectations of other people that we're trying to we're
making decisions based around that a lot. When did you
realize this whole scale of like managing other people and
learning when the clock out of that job of trying.

Speaker 4 (16:09):
To do that?

Speaker 12 (16:09):
Well, So what's going to happen is this so when
you start using the let them theory, and it's so
easy to use the next time you're stressed out or
annoyed or frustrated, and it's always with other people, just
say let them. That's how I use it, Let them,
and you're going to immediately feel peaceful. Your mom's in
a bad mood. Let her be in a bad mood.
Some old friend of yours is talking. Let them talk trash.
Why you're not allowing it. When you say let them,

(16:32):
you are reminding yourself there's one thing in life I
can't control. It's what other people say, do, believe, feel,
And it's on my job to So when you start
saying let them, and you detach yourself from the responsibility
of having to manage somebody else, something interesting happens. You realize,
oh my god, I've lived my life in reserve reverse.
I actually live my life giving time and energy trying

(16:55):
to manage what other people think. I have kept myself
in a major or in a relationship or in a
situation because I'm afraid to disappoint my parents or my friends.
I mean, how many people keep drinking or like, keep
going out at night when what they really want to
do is launch a business, and so they don't take
the weekends to work on the things that they want

(17:17):
to work on because they feel like they don't want
to disappoint their friends or people going to talk about them.

Speaker 5 (17:22):
That's you giving power to other people.

Speaker 12 (17:24):
Like another way that we give power to other people
is we get so focused on the headlines that we
gaslight ourselves into believing that.

Speaker 5 (17:30):
You have no power. It's complete garbage. Of course you
have power.

Speaker 12 (17:33):
And so when you start saying let them, it's sort
of this revelation where you're like, oh my god, I
spend so much time and energy worrying about other people.

Speaker 5 (17:43):
I spent so much time and energy letting them stress
me out.

Speaker 13 (17:46):
But is there a level of like when that becomes
easier versus harder? Because when you were just talking, I
thought about Michelle Obama. Yes, in the podcast, one of
the podcasts she did this week, she was talking about
how she realized she was doing a lot for other people,
not thinking about herself, and she started making decisions for us.
So she's going place, so she wants to go and
doss like that anything. She's divorced because of it. But

(18:06):
it's like, she's Michelle Obama, so it's hard for her
to like the noise is so it's a lot louder
for her well.

Speaker 12 (18:13):
Of course, But whether or not you pay attention to
that is within your control, whether or not you look
at your phone, And we're all guilty of it, whether
you are Michelle Obama or you're just going into your
middle school. Whether or not you give attention to the gossip,
you look for the gossip, you mainline it. That is
within your control. If you say, I can never ever,

(18:36):
ever stop somebody from lying about me, from making up
stuff about me, from you know, saying whatever they're going
to say, So why on earth would I spend any
time and energy managing it? And then you go, let
me This is the second part of the theory. Once't
you say, let them, let them think negative thoughts, let
them make up all kinds of crap, Because if you
know you're not getting divorced, what do you care about

(18:56):
these idiots saying let me remind myself that I know
the truth. And when you know the truth about who
you are, you don't think about other people. When you
live your life in a way that makes you proud,
you don't think about other people.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
I tell them all you tell me to read.

Speaker 13 (19:12):
Her book, and I was, and I already had the
book because I think Eddie had given it to us
a minute. I was like, oh, I got the book,
and you got it.

Speaker 5 (19:19):
It will change your damn. I'm telling you it will
change your life.

Speaker 1 (19:22):
Because but you have to get to that stage yes,
because it's it took me a while to get to
that stage.

Speaker 2 (19:26):
It took a while to get to that.

Speaker 10 (19:28):
You think he was born that way, and.

Speaker 2 (19:33):
So I've never truly cared right.

Speaker 8 (19:35):
But then even when I started to care, I realized
things like the serenity prayer, a little simple things that
you saw sitting in your grandmother's house. You realize that
is absolutely the truth of God, Grammy, the serenity. Accept
things I cannot change, courage change the things I can.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
And withn't no difference.

Speaker 8 (19:47):
And the easiest way to let go of what you
can't control is just realizing you never had control to
begin with.

Speaker 5 (19:52):
And here's another thing that's really important.

Speaker 12 (19:53):
That's why you're gonna love it, is that what ol
stirt to happen when you say let them is it's
not that you're allowing people to do bad things.

Speaker 5 (20:00):
They're already doing bad things.

Speaker 12 (20:02):
You're recognizing that it's not your job to manage other people,
because this is a book that's about power and control
and peace. Then you say, let me remind myself how
I respond to things actually is where my power is.
So do I give this any time and energy or not?
Do I double down on just living my life in

(20:22):
a way that makes me proud of myself, which is
where your power is. And the thing that also changed
me dramatically is I couldn't believe how much stress I
felt and how I was bracing all the time. And
when you start to say let them, and you release
that kind of obligation to make other people happy or

(20:46):
to make everybody know that you're not divorced, or that
everything's okay, or like, just let them think whatever they
want to think, and live your life in a way
that makes you proud. You're going to get all this
time and energy back. And what I love about this
is when you're less stressed and when you're not bracing
all the time, because you.

Speaker 5 (21:03):
Know your boss is narcissistic, so why on earth.

Speaker 12 (21:06):
Would you walk into work assuming that that he's going
to be anything other than what it already has always been.

Speaker 5 (21:12):
Let them be who they are.

Speaker 2 (21:13):
I love the Managing Stress chapter.

Speaker 8 (21:15):
And in that chapter you say you can't control how
other adults behave and stressing about it diminishes your power.
You'll never reach the full potential of your life if
you continue to allow stupid things to rule people to
drain your life for can you Yes?

Speaker 12 (21:28):
Yes, So the two most important resources that you have
in life time energy, that's what you got. How you
spend your time, where you put your energy, it actually
determines your experience of life. And that's why I say,
if you have this experience right now where you're exhausted
and overwhelmed and nervous and you're not like feeling like
you can ever have time for yourself or your goals

(21:50):
to start clicking, You're not the problem. The problem is
all this time and energy you spend dealing with other people,
and so let them is a boundary that you draw
where you start to wreck it. Okay, I'm going to
let other people think and feel and do and have
their opinions, and I'm going to let them be disappointed.
I'm going to let them misunderstand me, and I'm going
to let me really take that time and energy back

(22:12):
and pour it into working on myself and staying in
my piece. And what I've found is that when I'm
less stressed, which i am because I'm not allowing stupid
stuff for other people to stress me out, I'm actually
a better person. I make more money because I can
use my brain instead of being in fire or flight.

Speaker 5 (22:33):
I don't like vomit on my kids. My emotions.

Speaker 12 (22:37):
Like I used to be the kind of person that
would come in at you know, after work and yelling
at everybody or mad at the dog for crying out loud,
and then I'd be like, I'm sorry, it was a
bad day.

Speaker 5 (22:45):
At work, stressful day at work with the dogs.

Speaker 12 (22:48):
You know, they kind of do this, and then they
come back and they're really nice because they they literally
dogs don't do don't like punish you for that, And
it's so sad that I used to leave them worst
of me for the people I cared about the most,
and then blame it on the stress of the day.
That By the way, when you use the let them theory,
you have control over whether or not this stuff.

Speaker 5 (23:11):
Gets to you.

Speaker 4 (23:12):
Let me do it.

Speaker 2 (23:13):
I have a question.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
Yeah, in chapter five you say let them think bad
thoughts about you, right. The question with that is when
a lot of people sometimes especially on social media, right ye,
nobody facts checks anymore, but that could affect your reputation.
That can affect your business. That could affect the way
that your kids, teachers look at you, or business that
comes around.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
Of course, what are you doing well?

Speaker 4 (23:34):
So here.

Speaker 12 (23:35):
This is a very tricky question because you're talking about
the PR and the media swirl. PR is a little
bit different in personal like, I think it's really important
to understand who you are, whether you're dealing with rumors
at a middle school, or you're dealing with rumors in
your community, or you've got somebody in your family trash
talking you.

Speaker 5 (23:54):
In order to.

Speaker 12 (23:55):
Repair your reputation, it is better to show than to tell.
In my opinion, you prove the truth based on how
you show up in life, not based.

Speaker 5 (24:04):
On the words that come out of your mouth.

Speaker 12 (24:06):
And if there is somebody spreading things about you, the
best way to handle it is to go directly to
that person and to ask them about it. Because those
kind of people, the people that gossip about you, ultimately
end up crumbling anyway, because it always catches.

Speaker 4 (24:20):
Up with them.

Speaker 8 (24:21):
You know, you were in the book you talk about
how you felt paralyzed by imposter syndrome, especially when you
were teaching.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
Yeah, the five second rule. I wonder what's changed since then?

Speaker 8 (24:29):
We'll gives you the confidence and authority now to feel
like you can go out here and teach to.

Speaker 12 (24:33):
Lect them do That's a great, great question, So you
know how well. First of all, impostor syndrome is deeply misunderstood.
So imposter syndrome does not mean that you don't belong
in the room you're in. Imposter syndrome means you actually
want to be in the room you're in, and there's
skills or there's experience that you need to gain in

(24:54):
order to dominate in that room. Imposter syndrome is actually
not self doubt.

Speaker 5 (24:58):
It's ambition.

Speaker 13 (24:59):
And so thanks that a bit because it's always been
said the other way.

Speaker 12 (25:02):
Yeah, And so if you really think about it, if
you walk into a room and you don't feel impostor syndrome,
it's because you don't want to be in that room.
You don't care what people think about you in that room.
If you walk into a room and you feel a
sense of imposter syndrome, it's because you care about what
people think about you in that room. It means your
ambition wants you to succeed in that room.

Speaker 14 (25:23):
Oh like push to stay sharp, correct, okay, and also like, hey,
I want to actually succeed around people like this, which
means what are the skills I need and what I
started to understand and I think it explains a lot
about why I am who.

Speaker 5 (25:38):
I am is that we're all the same.

Speaker 12 (25:40):
Everybody is dealing with the same stuff. Yes, it's easier
if you have more money and more resources, but at
the end of the day, everybody's got a family member
that they're worried about. Everybody has ambition they're not tapping into.
Everybody has things that they want to pursue in their life,
and they're kind of letting themselves down a little bit.
Everybody struggles with a little bit of uncertainty and anxiety
at time. Everybody has hopes and dreams and feels a

(26:03):
little discouraged and overwhelmed. And when you started a baseline
that people would love to thrive, and people thrive when
they can, and if they can't, I believe it's because
they're discouraged, or there's some skill building or some experience
or you know, some mentorship that's missing. That's it, but
that you're built to thrive. And so when you really
start at that baseline, like you know, I make it

(26:24):
a practice. By the way, this is this is one
thing that will change your life. When you go into
a public.

Speaker 5 (26:28):
Bathroom, two things. I always leave the space better than when.

Speaker 4 (26:33):
I found it.

Speaker 5 (26:34):
I always clean public bathrooms. No, no, no, literally, like
I literally that's why I don't go into that stall.
But okay, no, just.

Speaker 12 (26:45):
Because if somebody like destroy especially women, If somebody destroys
a seat, peas all over it and then they leave,
that is a human being that is so disconnected from
the interconnection of the human experience. You are leaving that
for another person, and so making sure that you don't
leave your mess for another person, making sure that you

(27:06):
just kind of wipe down the counter.

Speaker 5 (27:07):
And then here's the second thing.

Speaker 12 (27:08):
If there is a human being cleaning that bathroom, please
look in the ai and say thank you all the time,
thank you like that right there is a simple thing
that will make you start to shake out of that
woe is me or that stress or that overwhelmed. Let
them know you appreciate and see what they're doing, because

(27:29):
it changes who you are. And then you start to
see all day long that there are like.

Speaker 15 (27:35):
You know, I can't look at you the cry people
are just walking around disconnected, And the power of starting
to be the one that wakes people up.

Speaker 5 (27:46):
Hey, you know I always get to tell or hey,
how's everybody doing? Like it's shocking how we.

Speaker 12 (27:52):
Have gotten so far away from that sense of community,
and there's actually research around this. They call it either
weak ties. I call them warm connection. Those people that
you see in the building every day, that you say
hello to the person that's walking the dog, that you
know the name of the dog in your neighborhood. These
relationships matter because they make you feel human again.

Speaker 13 (28:12):
When you feel the impact from what you're doing with
your book, and to let them theory like, you just
got emotional, not even just about your impact, but just
talking about just change in the world. How does it
make you feel like do you take a moment just
of gratitude and be like, because I saw all the
tattoos in the book, and I was like, that's on fire.
It's hard to make people like actually believe something that's
not tangible.

Speaker 12 (28:32):
One of the things that you know, For me, I
spent so many years like hating myself and feeling like
I was a really bad person.

Speaker 5 (28:42):
And when you get stuck in life, it's easy to
think you're the only one.

Speaker 12 (28:47):
And so I'm just literally on a mission to share
whatever I could share and give people access just like
you guys, give people access to incredible thinkers and experts
and resources. So your work is reaching some way halfway
around the world that doesn't even have a toilet in
their house.

Speaker 5 (29:06):
And how incredible is that?

Speaker 12 (29:08):
And if I can save anybody the headaches and the
heartaches that I cause myself for the people that I
care about, because I didn't know any better. I didn't
know what the problem was. I didn't know how to
change myself. I didn't know how to push through the
emotion that is a life well lived.

Speaker 10 (29:22):
Why did you hate yourself though? Because you can't do
anything about.

Speaker 5 (29:24):
What you don't Oh my god, hey, we don't have time.

Speaker 12 (29:26):
I literally like from the amount of cheating I did
when I was little, to the undiagnosed anxiety or the
undiagnosed to selexy and ADHD, and how that created tremendous anxiety.
So the way that childhood trauma impacted me that I
didn't even realize was impacting me, Like it's just chronic.
I just did not think I was a bad person.
And there's a lot of people walking around that have

(29:48):
a hundred times more negative thoughts than they do positive ones,
And a lot of people develop a habit of being
very self critical. It's never enough, like You're never gonna
make it like you're always so stupid.

Speaker 5 (30:00):
Why did you do that?

Speaker 12 (30:01):
Either because that's how they were talked to when they
were little, or because it's this like almost protective thing
that if you beat yourself up first, you're going to
catch it before other people do. And I got to
a point, and this is an important thing. The only
thing you need to make your life better is one decision.
How I'm living my life right now and how it
feels no longer works for me.

Speaker 5 (30:21):
That's all you need to know.

Speaker 12 (30:22):
If you can have the courage to say that to yourself,
you now have tipped the first domino because you've made
a decision that you want to change how your life feels.
You made a decision that you want to change how
it feels up here. And for me as a mom,
like your kids absorb the way that you treat yourself.
And so having two daughters that I started noticing, my god,

(30:42):
why are these beautiful young women picking themselves apart? Well
because I do. Why are they so hard on it?
Because I was so hard on myself. That's how they
learn it, And so I don't want them to do
that to themselves. And you know, the thing I was
going to share that's made a huge difference for me
is that I keep the impact front and center, and
so we send an email out five days a week.
There's a person on our team whose job is to

(31:04):
assemble all of the things that people are saying all
over the world about the books and the podcast, not
about Mel, but about what you learned. And I'll tell
you every day there's twenty to thirty of them. And
just the other day there was a person who talked
about how he was a stepdad and the relationship ended

(31:24):
and those step kids were his life and he didn't
want to be here anymore. And somebody started to share
the podcast with him and he would go and take
a walk every morning and listen to the podcast, and
it started give him a sense of hope. And now
he uses the let them theory. This is a person
that actually works in like a police operations control center.

(31:45):
Never in a million years what I think this is
somebody that's listening to the Mel Robins podcast or listening
to this kind of conversation. But it goes to prove
that everybody wants to do well, everybody wants to thrive,
and you know when you're not doing well.

Speaker 5 (31:58):
You know, when you're not.

Speaker 12 (31:59):
Thrit The problem for most of us is just kind
of feeling like I don't think this could change. And
the fact is horse it can change. If you've ever
been happy in your life, you can be happy again.
If you've ever been proud of yourself, you can be
proud of yourself again. If you've ever forgiven somebody else,
you can learn to forgive yourself.

Speaker 8 (32:16):
And you know, also, God doesn't call to qualify. He
qualified the called, and you've been called.

Speaker 5 (32:20):
Meil Robin, I feel that I love you man, I
love you too.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (32:23):
That's right.

Speaker 2 (32:24):
Well, we appreciate you for joining us. Thank you, thank
you all right. Well it's Meil Robbins. It's the Breakfast Club.
Good morning morning everybody.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
It's DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne to God. We are
the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest in the
building of Icon Living, Dawn Stanley.

Speaker 2 (32:39):
Welcome back.

Speaker 10 (32:39):
How do you feel?

Speaker 4 (32:40):
Thank you?

Speaker 5 (32:40):
Thank you.

Speaker 16 (32:41):
Y'all usually come back when we win the championship. We
lost this year, So thank you all.

Speaker 2 (32:44):
For you're always invited.

Speaker 1 (32:49):
Well time uncommon favorite is out right now basketball in
North Philly. My mother and the life lessons I learned
from all three is out right? Now, how are you feeling?

Speaker 10 (32:58):
I'm feeling great.

Speaker 16 (33:00):
My friends have received their books and they have nothing
but like great things like my cup running over.

Speaker 4 (33:07):
Yeah it did.

Speaker 16 (33:08):
I gotta give you a shout out. And you sparked
the conversation. So many people have asked me to write
a book, and I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah right,
but it came from so many different people. And then
when I came on the show in twenty twenty two,
we talked about it, and you just you kept the
conversation going.

Speaker 10 (33:26):
You're real persistent with it, you know.

Speaker 16 (33:28):
That's That's what I'm attracted to most, is like somebody
that actually is it persistent yet persistent and know the process,
like you knew the process. I don't know if you
knew my story, so to speak, but you knew enough
to know that you know this, this book will be
received well.

Speaker 10 (33:45):
And I appreciate that well.

Speaker 2 (33:47):
People like you don't come around too often.

Speaker 8 (33:49):
Don like you are a once in a generational just person,
you know, and you really learned that when you read
the book, not even just as a coach, but as
a basketball player, but more so as a child of Philadelphia.

Speaker 10 (33:59):
Man, I mean I had fun, Like the process was fun.
It's liberating.

Speaker 16 (34:04):
It is you know, you don't really know how you're
going to be received, but every person like I'm actually
waiting for a critic, Like I'm waiting for somebody saying
what didn't go right in the book, and then we
have yet to get to that point. And one of
my friends was, you know, listening at a long road trip,
listened to the entire book yesterday and she was like,

(34:25):
I'm in tears, I'm laughing. I get it, like the
leadership part of it, Like I mean, the emotions that
are in the book, and it's it's me.

Speaker 10 (34:35):
So some of it is emotional me.

Speaker 16 (34:36):
Some of it is just I'm able to just get
it out because I remembered most of it and I
had to call on my siblings and kind of fill.

Speaker 5 (34:44):
In the gaps.

Speaker 16 (34:45):
But it's me, like it it's so me, it's so relatable.
It's so it was an easy process.

Speaker 5 (34:52):
So was the therapeutic at all to do it?

Speaker 16 (34:55):
No, it was just natural. It wasn't like it was natural.
And I think sharing my story is just relatable to people.
It's not like, you know, I don't think it's an
overdo it with the accolades. It's like the accolades are
intertwined and everybody's accolades won't be like Olympian and actual champions,
but on a certain level, like if you graduate high

(35:17):
school it's relatable, if you graduate college is relatable. If
you can pull yourself out of the projects of any city,
it's relatable. And there's no wrong path, like there's no
like you can get off tiltered, but then you got
to come back by like habits, come back by. The
lessons in the book are just just it relates to

(35:40):
every single thing that you would want to accomplish in life.
And I'm not just saying that the pump the book,
but it really is like I'm only giving what other
people are giving me, the feedback they're giving me.

Speaker 10 (35:50):
And it's cool to hear people just relate to the book.

Speaker 1 (35:53):
Yes, I love it because you know, people know you
from different things, right, Some people know you as a player,
some people know you as a coach.

Speaker 2 (36:00):
But with this book, it starts from where you came from,
which is North.

Speaker 8 (36:02):
Philly, right, And you talk about rosenhousing projects and you
talk about you know, you.

Speaker 1 (36:07):
Said growing up in the projects was the best decision
your parents made. Explain that a little bit in how
that formed to the woman that.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
You are today.

Speaker 16 (36:14):
Just imagine the people that don't grow up in the projects.
What you think happens in the projects. You think probably
only one thing, crime like bad things like And for me,
it was the foundation of giving me the scars I needed,
the chinks and the armor I needed to succeed. Like
there was unity in the projects. There was discipline in

(36:36):
the projects that was manicure lawns. There was my block
I grew up, never had trash in it, like it
was captain in a way that would compete with any
suburban lawn like or neighborhood. So it was it was
all those things that helped build you up, Like I'm
unbothered and unafraid to tackle on the most challenging things

(37:00):
life because that's nothing compared to what that's nothing like.

Speaker 10 (37:04):
So I think it gave me the foundation.

Speaker 16 (37:07):
I needed to just be able to coach every day,
like coach young people, like generations are changing. Coaching talent
and individuals and young people nowadays, it's very very challenging.

Speaker 2 (37:19):
I love how you embrace your inn a child.

Speaker 8 (37:20):
That's what I love this picture on that ask what's
the moment from your childhood that still shapes how you
like handle pressure to day.

Speaker 16 (37:26):
You know, there's a story that I that I share
in the book about my father, who I mean, I'm
over fifty now, right, but when he I don't know
if I was twelve fourteen, maybe I got invited to
play on this team and this competition outside of Philly,
like it was a road trip and my father was like, no,

(37:46):
you can't go.

Speaker 10 (37:47):
Like that hurt me, Like it really hurt me.

Speaker 16 (37:50):
And I remembered it so vividly that for him to
deny me that because it was one of the first times.
But I'm thirteen, fourteen years old, whose parents gonna let
them somebody take their child out of state? Like I
wasn't thinking about that. I was solely thinking about basketball.
But it was one of the one of the experiences
that drove.

Speaker 10 (38:09):
Me, like didn't I didn't like my father for that,
Like I didn't like.

Speaker 16 (38:13):
Him for the decision parental decision that he made. But
as I'm older now and reflecting on and writing a book,
it is I need conflict.

Speaker 10 (38:23):
I know that about myself that I need conflict.

Speaker 16 (38:26):
Like everything can't be comfortable, Like if I have you know,
ten people supporting me, you know here, I need about.

Speaker 10 (38:33):
Ten to twelve people that hated like I need it.
I mean, it helps me. It drives me, like it
drives me. While you said, I don't have a critic yet,
I'm waiting for the book right now, right, So it's
that is the ability.

Speaker 16 (38:48):
Like you know, we lost to Yukon this year, Like
you know, the critics are saying I can't coach, like
that's what they say. But I'm like, okay, well but
but again, everything that I've needed in my life, you know,
failure success happens to me.

Speaker 10 (39:06):
It's uncommon. Like, but I know our loss this year
will somehow help us. It will.

Speaker 16 (39:12):
I'm not just relying on it helping us. I'm gonna
put action to it, so it means something.

Speaker 2 (39:19):
I love them.

Speaker 8 (39:20):
You said that in a postgame conference. You was like,
I hope that they're crying. I hope that my players
are crying. I hope that it hurts. That'll make them
be better next hit.

Speaker 16 (39:28):
Yeah, I mean, the most growth takes place when you're uncomfortable,
the most if you're comfortable all the time. And I've
said this as well, like parents really don't want their
kids to feel what they felt like pain, and I'm like,
I want them to feel a little pain.

Speaker 10 (39:45):
I want them to hurt. I want them to be uncomfortable,
and I love them enough.

Speaker 16 (39:48):
To allow them to sit in that space because not
for long, but they need to fight their way out
of it, because nothing's gonna be given to me.

Speaker 10 (39:56):
I don't like that place.

Speaker 16 (39:57):
I don't like to feel that, so fight like hell
to try to not feel that, by repering, by doing
everything I need to do to not feel that.

Speaker 10 (40:06):
It's almost like.

Speaker 16 (40:07):
When you grow up in the projects and you grow
up in poverty, you don't want that anymore, Like you
don't want that once you've lived and you've you know
you've earned a certain keep. You want to keep that
because you want to change generations in your in your family,
and I hope I'm able.

Speaker 4 (40:23):
To do that.

Speaker 8 (40:24):
You seem like you've always been a natural born leader,
like throughout your whole life, even when you were the child.
So it made me wonder if if coaching never entered
your life, where do you think your leadership would have
shown up?

Speaker 4 (40:35):
If that?

Speaker 10 (40:35):
Oh man, that's a hard question.

Speaker 16 (40:37):
Like I'm competitive, I probably would have been a losing gambler.

Speaker 10 (40:43):
Try like trying, like I don't know. I mean, I do.

Speaker 16 (40:49):
I love kids, so my work would have been with kids.
And I'm glad that coaching found me. Like I'm glad
somebody saw something in me that I didn't see it myself.
I didn't see coaches. I didn't want to coach at all.
And I don't know why, because I had great coaches.
I had great people in my life that challenged me,
that were good at it. But when I had coaching friends,

(41:12):
the only thing they talked about were their teams in basketball.

Speaker 10 (41:16):
And I'm like, yeah, this is what I do every day.
I do this every day.

Speaker 16 (41:19):
Why would I want to talk about it every day?
Why would I want my life consume with it? And
here I am, twenty five years later, like loving it,
like it's I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
And when you when you're able to live out your passion,
it's the most beautiful, liberating and incredible experience. I know
my players really get something out of our relationship. They do,

(41:41):
they get they build character, they navigate life. But for
me is I'm overjoyed when they graduate. I'm overjoyed on
draft night. I'm overjoyed when they're able to see their
hard work produce what they wanted, Like, even if they
don't make it to the league, they're equipped with being
successful with anything in it. Like, seriously, that does something

(42:03):
to my heart when young people were able to get
what they're supposed to be.

Speaker 8 (42:06):
You know, you talked about your players, You got a
lot of success stories from your time coaching at the
University of South Carolina.

Speaker 2 (42:11):
But in the book, you make it no secret that
Asia Wish is your favorite.

Speaker 16 (42:14):
Well, I mean, I mean, here's why, And I don't
I've coached a lot of great players, Like Asia was
the very first player that was the number one play
in the country to decide she wanted to come play
for us, and I know it's in her backyard. And
we didn't We didn't look like a national championship team,
Like we never won a national we had never been

(42:35):
to the final four. So for her to trust us
with that part of her career meant that she believed
in us. She trusted us, she knew that we were
going to get her to where she needed to go.
As far as still being the number one draft pick,
like four years later, like when someone and it wasn't

(42:56):
just her, it was her entire family believed in it,
and it took some at times them thinking did we
make the right decision?

Speaker 10 (43:06):
Because she did. She started her first game and then
she was terrible, like scrub like right, scrub like scrub like.
So I was like, I gotta gotta.

Speaker 16 (43:17):
Take you out of starting lineup. But I ain't even
taught her that. I told her parents first, and her
mom even was like you sure, like you're gonna have
to trust me on this one, Like You're just gonna
have to trust me, And she was like all right.
But at the end of her freshman year, she was
National Rookie of the Year, she was first team All SEC.

(43:38):
She was Rookie of the Year in the SE's like
she got all the accolades coming off the bench. And
when someone as a coach and leader and mentored young
people believe in you like they really do, when that's reciprocated.
Because I believe that, I knew that she was going
to be the one that takes us to that next
level when you're able to have the same synergy. You know,

(44:00):
Asia was hell to deal with, right because she's young,
like she with the private school for like twelve years.
All of her schooling was a private school, so she
needed to be roughened up a little bit to get
her ready for what she faced. Like she faces the
critics right now, but I know she can handle them
because we took her through all of that. Like she

(44:23):
had dyslexia right throughout her college career. And I'm like, Okay,
you're going to read in front of the team every
time we have a game because we have a like
a scripture reading and an inspirational reading before every pregame
meal and there's somebody that has to read it.

Speaker 10 (44:39):
So I was like, you're gonna read that. It took
her her senior year.

Speaker 16 (44:43):
Couldn't do it the first second, the third her senior year,
she read out loud.

Speaker 10 (44:47):
And she had fun with it.

Speaker 16 (44:48):
She had, y'all, this is along, y'all gonna have to
bear with me, Like it was that kind of liberation.
So when she gave her entire self to me, the good,
the bad, the ugly, higher you know, that's why I
just have a really strong like relationship with her, Like
she could tell me anything, like I'm non judgmental, Like

(45:09):
young people won't want to tell you everything because they
think you're gonna judge them.

Speaker 10 (45:13):
I don't judge.

Speaker 16 (45:14):
Like, there's nothing that any one of my current former
future players can tell me that that's gonna rock me
that I haven't seen, like everybody's been through. Like there's
no new problems. It's the same old, recycled problems. So
just give it here so you're not dealing with it
longer than you need to.

Speaker 2 (45:31):
You know, it's interesting record.

Speaker 8 (45:32):
I was watching you. You did Good Morning in America
to view Kobe all of that stuff like that. So
you was working, but I still know you still the
coach at the University of South Carolina. But I was like, oh,
you know what, she'll be fine because she used to
play ball and coach at the same time, which I
found out about.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
In the book. That was insane. Six years. That's crazy
six years.

Speaker 16 (45:50):
I mean when I got into coaching, I was like
in my prime, so you know the ad at the time,
he kept asking me, like he was persistent, like I'm like, no, no,
I'm not interested. I'm playing in a wnba is And
then he just kept asking, and then I ended up
having to go meet with him because the final four
was in Philly, I'm from Philly. He knew I was

(46:12):
going to be there, so I went and sat down
with him and he asked me two questions. He was like,
can you lead? Did you do your research? Did you
like and I was like yeah, I basically was the
captain on every team that I played on? Right, And
then he was like, can you turn Temple women's basketball
program around?

Speaker 10 (46:29):
I was like, oh, is that a challenge?

Speaker 16 (46:32):
Like is that really a challenge because I'm drawing the
challenges and I never answered the question. I don't even
think I answered the question. He was like, hey, can
you just come down the hall and meet some people?
So I was like, okay, I'm here. He took me
in this conference room, sat me at the head of
the table and they were like ten to twelve people
sitting around this table and they're asking me questions like
what do you see yourself in five years? I'm like

(46:54):
playing in a WNBA And they were like, do you
ever see yourself coaching?

Speaker 10 (46:58):
And I'm like no, y'all. They were interviewing me.

Speaker 16 (47:01):
I was on a job interview and I didn't know
it because all my job interviews were tryouts, like basketball
like physical tryouts. Needless to say, I took the job
two weeks later, they just agreed to allow me to
continue to play and coach. So I was in like
basketball utopia because I was coaching and I'm actually still

(47:23):
able to express myself on the court because I wasn't
ready to hang up my shoes. I was still very
much a player, and I think that allowed me to
play a little bit longer than I wanted to, and
that allowed me to keep staying fresh with what was
up with teaching young people because they were more enthralled

(47:44):
with me playing because that's what they wanted, like I
was living.

Speaker 10 (47:47):
Their dream right before their very eyes.

Speaker 16 (47:50):
And I think it just helped me be a better coach,
be a more understanding coach because I was a player
receiving information from a coach, and then I just helped
the dynamics of what I was doing.

Speaker 4 (48:05):
Now.

Speaker 2 (48:05):
I wanted to ask about your father, right.

Speaker 1 (48:07):
You mentioned your father earlier and you said your relationship
wasn't that great, but you said it got better over
the years. Do you understand some of the things that
your father was trying to implement in you as a
young girl, because they said that your father looked at
women's basketball and felt that wasn't too many opportunities and
didn't know if you could sustain at that time. And
do you wish that you kind of put yourself in

(48:27):
his mentality back then as a child, because even with
the name of the book, it says basketball in North
Philly my mother but not my father.

Speaker 16 (48:33):
Explain, no, no, no, you know, I think I think
even the one like family members that are that are
closest to you, Yes, I thought, I, Yes, I should
have had had a much more mature outlook on that
relationship now that you can reflect on it, now that

(48:55):
you can see because I held that and I you know,
if you could hear you, I still that instance. But
when you're coaching, right, you come into a situation where
you hurt a player, like you hurt that player that
was like probably twelve years ago, I hurt that player
like it drives me to not hurt other players. And
I wasn't mature enough or savvy enough to handle that

(49:18):
at twelve or thirteen. So I do think it's helped
me be a better coach, It helps me be a
better person to really like again, I didn't talk about
things I held that my father probably didn't probably doesn't
he's been dead and gone since two thousand and one, Like,
I don't even think he really knew how much that

(49:40):
hurt me.

Speaker 10 (49:41):
But also use that to navigate the nose, like I
handle those a lot better because of that.

Speaker 8 (49:49):
I love to respect the power of habits chapter And
in that chapter, you speak extremely highly of South Carolina's
on Malaysia for a while, and you even refer to
her as a young, good, savvyer version of you. You say,
this is a quote I heard from so many adults
who gave their own parents hell, only to see that
teenagers return to favor. Now it's my turn in the bottle.

(50:09):
So when I see you had when I read that,
and I was like, she had so much love for Malaysia.
What was your initial reaction when she decided to enter
the portal? And was it surprising to you?

Speaker 10 (50:19):
Surprising?

Speaker 17 (50:20):
No?

Speaker 16 (50:20):
I think you know, being in this space, you become
to expect the unexpected, right, I still have much love
for Malisia, like much love, like I want to happy.

Speaker 10 (50:30):
She and a mom came in. She said, I think
I'm want to get into the transfer portal.

Speaker 16 (50:34):
So I'm like, okay, well you think or you know,
And she said, I know, and I said, well, only
want you happy, Like I really do, only want our
players happy, whether that's with us or somewhere else.

Speaker 4 (50:46):
Just be happy.

Speaker 16 (50:47):
I told her, don't look back. I know it's probably
gonna be hard to not look back to see you know,
you leaving your hometown and all that. I said, don't
look back like you made this decision. Just go forward
with it and don't look back. You're always gonna be
a game cock, You're always gonna be welcomed here. I
wish her the best. And when I say that, people
probably think, oh, but I do, like I really do, like,

(51:11):
cause I am what's for us is for us, what's
not it was not.

Speaker 10 (51:16):
Let's keep moving. I don't stay in despair.

Speaker 16 (51:18):
I don't stay in those spaces for very long. I'm like, Okay,
we gotta get recruiting. We gotta get back into this
portal to see who we can get to help us.
I think she's gonna have a promising career. I do
think she's a generational talent that will never leave.

Speaker 17 (51:33):
Like.

Speaker 16 (51:33):
She does things on the basketball court that I've never
seen a woman do, and she's she'll continue to do
that and will continue to be happy for her except
the one or two times that we have to play
them like.

Speaker 10 (51:46):
It's on, like it's this. She's gonna be super competitive
against us.

Speaker 16 (51:50):
We're gonna we're gonna want to win, and it's gonna
be a pride thing that comes with just being a competitor.

Speaker 10 (51:56):
And we got much love for her and the family.

Speaker 1 (51:58):
Now this this has nothing to do with the boat,
but I wanted to ask us were talking about players.
You know, WNBA has taken a huge jump in the
last couple of years and I love it. My daughters
love it, my sons love it. What do you think
what's going on in the WNBA with it? It seems
like they're pitting you know, Caitlyn Clark against angel Reaes right,
kind of what they did in the NBA back in
the day.

Speaker 2 (52:17):
But it was more teams, right, I guess not maybe
not teams. It was Magic Bird.

Speaker 1 (52:20):
This one is that one, But this one it just
seems like it seems very personable. So what are your thoughts,
Like even the other day with that foul and they
called it a flagrant foul, I don't necessarily agree, but
what are your thoughts on it?

Speaker 4 (52:30):
Well?

Speaker 16 (52:31):
I think the officiating has a hard job. That's one
the decipher whether or not that's a flagrant one or not.

Speaker 10 (52:37):
Hard job. And I do think they understand the dynamics
of Angel and Caitlyn.

Speaker 4 (52:43):
I do.

Speaker 16 (52:43):
I think it's great for our game because it's like Burke, Yeah,
like it's a sport. Treat us like a sport. Don't
treat us anything other than being a sport. It happens
in every sport, Soccer, basketball, football, it happens in every sport.

Speaker 10 (52:57):
So let it be.

Speaker 16 (52:58):
I'm gonna I'm gonna take the lead of Angel and Caitlin.
And that lead is they said it was a it
was a file. The officials got it right. We're moving on.

Speaker 10 (53:08):
That's what I'm Saying'm gonna take their lead.

Speaker 4 (53:10):
Okay.

Speaker 10 (53:11):
I think it's it pulls people in.

Speaker 16 (53:13):
I do think there are new fans that haven't watched
our game and they really don't know so they only
they're only singlely focused on Kate one, right, right, So
when you're that and that's that's their idol, that's who
attracts them. But I just hope that they'll open their
eyes to the rest of the talent that is there.

Speaker 10 (53:36):
Like the product. The product is incredible, like and it's
in high demand.

Speaker 16 (53:41):
We played Caitlin in the National Championship last year, right,
twenty million A topped off at whatever.

Speaker 10 (53:48):
It topped off at the most. I know they saw
us like I.

Speaker 16 (53:51):
Know they saw us. I know they saw us have
an undefeated season. I know they saw Camilla Cardozo. I
know they saw Ashton Watchase. I know they saw Tessa
Johnson have an incredible care career or day. I know
they saw my Lasier do some incredible things like so,
so open your eyes up to seeing outside of Caitlin,
well not even outside included, because she's a part of

(54:14):
a part of it all.

Speaker 10 (54:15):
So you know, I'm looking.

Speaker 16 (54:18):
Forward to the next time they play too. I'm gonna
be glueden just like everybody else.

Speaker 8 (54:21):
Yes, I want to go back to that that chapter
of respect, the power of habits right when you talk
about Malaysia, it is with such reference. How do you
balance disappointment as a coach with support for somebody like
her who just wanted to make a decision for herself.

Speaker 10 (54:34):
If a young person is going to speak on what
they deem, it is good for them.

Speaker 16 (54:40):
That's half the battle, like half the battles to be
able to speak up and you know how hard it
was for her to do that, like really hard, really hard.
So I understand that dynamics of her decision making. And
then it's like, okay, well what do you do with it?
Like if she was my player and there was a
chance for her to want to come back, or if

(55:01):
she decided that this is that, that's not what she
wanted to do, I was gonna talk to her about why, why,
why did it come to that? What makes you think
this isn't a place for whatever? She said we would
we would go from there. I thought Malaysia. Malaysia was
getting better, like I really, I saw a whole lot
of growth on and off the court to where unless

(55:22):
she was gonna get the best of her now, Like
we went through the you know, we went through the
hard part of just kind of smoothing some rough edges
and getting her to create good habits, like like I
do think habits.

Speaker 10 (55:35):
Are the thing that allows you to elevate, right, I do.

Speaker 16 (55:40):
So I think I think what we've given her and
what she's given us will allow her to have much
better days, much more consistent.

Speaker 10 (55:48):
Days than she had with us at her next stop, Well,
thank you.

Speaker 8 (55:52):
Don new book uncommon favor of basketball in North Philly,
my mother, and the life lessons I learned from all
three is available everywhere you buy books.

Speaker 2 (55:58):
Now go get it.

Speaker 8 (55:59):
You are guaranteed to learn something you are living done.
We appreciate your presence on this earth. We thank God
for you.

Speaker 10 (56:06):
Thank you, thank you.

Speaker 2 (56:09):
It's the breakfast Club. Good morning, Damn he did. It's
time for donkey, I mean, trying to be donky today.

Speaker 4 (56:16):
No more.

Speaker 2 (56:17):
They should be embarrassed by what they already did. I'm
not making new people do these.

Speaker 10 (56:20):
Things called donkey of the day, and it really caught
me off guard.

Speaker 16 (56:24):
Damn son, who got the donkey out of the day today?

Speaker 8 (56:29):
Well, just hilarious donkey todayve goes to a twenty year
old New Jersey man named Edward Kane.

Speaker 2 (56:33):
Yes, like the Conqueror King.

Speaker 8 (56:35):
Okay, he is facing an attempted murder charge after allegedly
got to say, allegedly flying to Florida, impressing somebody who
was talking crazy on the internet.

Speaker 2 (56:44):
In my mind, I'm all for this.

Speaker 8 (56:46):
Okay, because you should not be able to talk reckless
from the comfort of your own home and not get
approached about it.

Speaker 2 (56:51):
Okay, that's the problem. With the Internet.

Speaker 8 (56:53):
People think they can say any damn thing because they
never got punched in their face for saying any damn thing. Well,
Edward Cane is a gamer, okay, and he is now
facing an attempted murder charge after flying to Florida and
attacking a fellow gamer with a hammer over an online dispute.

Speaker 2 (57:09):
Let's go to the First Coast New thirty p police.

Speaker 17 (57:11):
There's some things that make me say, what in the
world was he thinking?

Speaker 3 (57:15):
That's reaction after twenty year old Edward King flew from
New Jersey to Jacksonville, Florida, and attacked a man he
argued with during an online game called Archage. Police say
King bought a hammer at a hardware store and then
went to the victim's home in Fernandina Beach around two
am Sunday. The door was unlocked, according to investigators, and

(57:37):
the victim was playing a game in his room but
took a break to use the bathroom.

Speaker 17 (57:42):
Once he opened the door, he noticed the suspect standing
with a hammer raised in the air in an anticipated
strike position. Suspect was wearing all black gloves.

Speaker 4 (57:51):
And a mask.

Speaker 3 (57:52):
This is the hammer King used in the attack. The
victim fought back, and the victim's stepdad was awoken by
this sounds. He then helped the victim hold King until
police arrived.

Speaker 17 (58:04):
The suspect asked our deputy, how much time in jail
do you get for breaking an enterim and assault? And
I would say, mister Kane, it's gonna be a long
time before you play video games again.

Speaker 2 (58:15):
Burn Burn more details if you're wondering.

Speaker 8 (58:20):
Edward Kane told his family he was going to meet
a friend he met years ago through the online video
game arch Age, which will no longer be accessible in
the United States because of the declining number of back
to players. So he flew from Newark to Jacksonville, went
to a hotel near the victim's home, purchased a hammer
and a flashlight at a hardware store.

Speaker 2 (58:37):
I'm shocked he just didn't buy a gun.

Speaker 8 (58:39):
Okay, Floyda don't require a permit to buy a gun,
nor is there a permit that exists any person from
the background check requirement.

Speaker 2 (58:44):
So the moral of the story is, you could have
bought a different type of hammer, Edward, but thank god
he didn't. Now how did he get to Addie? I
don't know.

Speaker 8 (58:51):
This sounds to me like the other online gave it
must have dropped the location because he thought he couldn't
be touched, and Edward Kane said stop hammer time. Now,
I'm gonna tell you something. This is very ninja like it.
When I say ninja, I'm not using that as a
substitute for the N word. I'm talking actual ninjas, like
teenage mutant turtles, like a person skilled in the Japanese
art of ninjitsu, okay, wearing all black, black gloves, black masks,

(59:13):
sneaking in the unlocked dogs, waiting to tell dude, waiting
un till dude got up to go to the bathroom,
and then attacking him with a hammer.

Speaker 2 (59:19):
Now, the victim was the.

Speaker 8 (59:20):
Same age as Edward King, twenty years old, and he
was as you heard, you know. He was able to
wrestle Edward to the ground, and stepfather woke up and
they were able to take the hammo away Florida. I
gotta say, man, y'all getting soft, okay, y'all letting people
fly from out of state to Florida, arms with nothing
but a tool, breaking in y'all houses, attacking y'all and
nobody getting shot. I have zero remorse for individuals who

(59:41):
breaking the other individual's houses. If you are bold enough
to break into my sanctuary of peace, then guess what
you will rest in that piece.

Speaker 2 (59:48):
Okay, I don't care how old you are.

Speaker 8 (59:49):
I'm not asking for no damn id. When you're breaking
to my place of residence for any reason. You're breaking
the people's houses when they are at home, you deserve
to get whatever comes with that, even if it's deaf. Now,
you heard the sheriff say they asked Kan what his
motive was, and he allegedly told deputies that the victim
is a bad person online. Well guess what, Edward, you
have grown to be a bad person in real life. Okay,

(01:00:12):
there's nothing this person said to you online that equates
to you receiving second degree murder in arm burglary charges. Now,
Edward Kan, you know you heard him ask the officer.
You know how much jail time do you receive from
breaking and entering? An officer said, I would say, mister King,
will be a long time before you play.

Speaker 2 (01:00:28):
Video games ever. Again. I like that kind of petty.

Speaker 8 (01:00:31):
This is a prime example of why you have to
learn from the mistakes of others. Okay, Edward King did
what so many of us have wanted to do. Okay,
pulled up on someone talking reckless online and beat the
mother loving ass.

Speaker 2 (01:00:47):
That was a beet.

Speaker 8 (01:00:48):
Edit, I'll beat your mother loving ass. Why can't I
love my mother? Even though it may sound good, I'm
gonna roll up on him and beat his ass. At
the end of the day, it's not good.

Speaker 2 (01:00:58):
Okay.

Speaker 8 (01:00:59):
This twenty year old the second degree murder charge and
a burglary charge, and you know. Sheriff Bill Leeper said
this incident serves as a stark reminder of the potential
real world consequences of online interaction.

Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
I don't encourage behavior like Edward Kan, but.

Speaker 8 (01:01:13):
I understand it, and I truly believe folks should talk
to people online the way you do in the real world,
because you just never know. Disrespect the wrong person and
they may be maybe at your front door dressed in
all black like the omen. Next thing you know your
friends is singing this is for my homie. Please let
remy ma give Edward Kang the biggest he haw.

Speaker 10 (01:01:31):
He haw he ha, You stupid mother?

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
Are you dumb?

Speaker 4 (01:01:36):
Now?

Speaker 2 (01:01:36):
There's nothing left to do but play a game of
guess what raise it?

Speaker 8 (01:01:42):
Edward Kan, twenty years old, from Newark, New Jersey, flew
from Newarton, New Jersey, to Jacksonville, Florida, and beat up
a man who was talking spicy online dj NB.

Speaker 10 (01:01:50):
Guess what is.

Speaker 4 (01:01:54):
Damn?

Speaker 2 (01:01:55):
It's a tough onec go black, that's why? Tell me
why because he was dressed in all wow.

Speaker 1 (01:02:08):
No no no, because sometimes you push people too much.
And you said Newark, New Jersey, So I forgure Newark
is predominantly black. Right he flew out there, and is
it beat the guy's ass?

Speaker 2 (01:02:18):
Okay, well I figured that, Okay, just hilarious.

Speaker 8 (01:02:22):
Edward Came twenty years old, flew from Newark, New Jersey
to Jacksonville, Florida, and beat up a man who was
talking spikes for online.

Speaker 1 (01:02:28):
Yes what racious Asian wop and comingdam start.

Speaker 18 (01:02:34):
My last name is came and then Newark has been gentrified,
still being gentrified.

Speaker 2 (01:02:40):
I don't know if it's being gentrified that much?

Speaker 7 (01:02:42):
Is it?

Speaker 4 (01:02:43):
He is me? I don't know.

Speaker 18 (01:02:45):
You don't know a lot of different races coming through that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:48):
The only thing is I see black people aint gonna
waste their money flying into Florida to beat somebody.

Speaker 2 (01:02:54):
Your damn line, he's expensive. Now I'm just saying I'm
thinking about myself. But yeah, yeah, well but the Asians,
you know, they be having points.

Speaker 8 (01:03:02):
One of your one of y'all is correct, one of
y'all is dead wrong. Okay, d j Envy, you are
dead wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:03:09):
Just Alias, you.

Speaker 10 (01:03:10):
Are absolutely correct Edward Kang is.

Speaker 4 (01:03:19):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (01:03:20):
Oh you said Kang. Yes, he said king Kang Hang. No,
you know damn that sounds like you said king. I
said king like the conqueror. I ain't say king like
Martin Luther.

Speaker 10 (01:03:31):
Yeah, king like lu King.

Speaker 2 (01:03:33):
That's right exactly.

Speaker 18 (01:03:35):
And I know his first name is not Edward, but
you know, they get like different names when they come
over here because it may be something else that we
don't can't pronounce.

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
Gave a little hint during the donkey, but y'all just
wasn't paying.

Speaker 8 (01:03:44):
I'm not gonna say because I don't know if it's racist,
is not something, but you'll hear it if you listen
back to it.

Speaker 2 (01:03:50):
Okay, Yeah, but I think there's no way you just
got that one out the blue? Can you context clues?

Speaker 4 (01:03:58):
And he.

Speaker 2 (01:04:00):
All right, I'm gonna play family food with you.

Speaker 1 (01:04:02):
Then you know the you know the clues, all right,
it's the breakfast Club good morning, morning everybody. It's DJ
n V, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne to God. We are the
breakfast Club Lonla Ross here as well. We got a
special guest in the.

Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
Building man, another culture like we having a weaker culture like.

Speaker 1 (01:04:17):
Con Ai, Alan Chuck, whatever you want to call him.

Speaker 2 (01:04:21):
M'ster seven five seven. He's in the building.

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
New book Misunderstood is out right now traveling obviously, Ladies
and gentlemen, are you feeling, man?

Speaker 4 (01:04:29):
Good life?

Speaker 1 (01:04:30):
Life be life in the same fight, different round for west.
How much sound we got as much as you like
me because I don't know where it's gonna go. But look, man, friends,
all right, so I know you know what type of
I mean. I'm just mean, Jess, But you know, you
know how you get to know somebody from afar and
you get basically kind of tell what type of person

(01:04:52):
they are.

Speaker 4 (01:04:53):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:04:54):
Obviously I've known you since I was in high school
and big fan of you. Both friendships. Man, It's hard
because when you think about your friends, obviously you know
you can't choose your family members, you know what I mean,
You're boring into that, But your friends, you feel like
y'all got so much in common with each other, and

(01:05:14):
you have so much love for them because you know
they're kind of like a basically a reflection of you,
or you got the same type of things in common
or whatever, and you just grow to love them like family.
They become you know, the guys become brothers, and your
homegirls become your sisters.

Speaker 4 (01:05:32):
But it's rough man navigating through that, you know what
I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:05:35):
I know how much I love my family, my friends.
I got so much flack when I first got into
the league, you know.

Speaker 4 (01:05:42):
What I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:05:42):
It was the entourage, bring you homeboys from where you're from.
You trust them so much, you love them. You want
them to go on the ride with you. You want
them to take this journey, you know through it.

Speaker 4 (01:05:53):
It's new to me.

Speaker 1 (01:05:54):
I've been poor all my whole life, and then snap
of a finger, I'm rich and famous and it's a lot,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (01:06:02):
So you want to have so many people around you
that you love me and you trust you know what
I mean, And the money man just you know what
I mean. It's just you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:06:14):
And it's so different from me, and it's so hard
for me because with my athletic ability that I was
blessed with. I've been like this since I was eight
years old. Like I always felt that I was rich,
but I was poor. I always been famous, you know
what I mean. When I was eight years old, I
go into barbershop and guys seventeen, eighteen, twenty twenty five

(01:06:37):
years old, guys like, oh, there you go. You know
that's the one right there, that's him. So it's always
been that for me. I always had that attention, you
know what I mean. I always been like that.

Speaker 11 (01:06:48):
You know.

Speaker 4 (01:06:49):
Once I got some money, it was no different from me.

Speaker 1 (01:06:52):
Obviously I could do things with my family and my
friends that I couldn't do before.

Speaker 4 (01:06:56):
You know that goes without saying.

Speaker 1 (01:06:59):
Man, the painful lessons of friends not being who you
think they they are when you add.

Speaker 4 (01:07:07):
The were all evil anything something just recently happened. Definitely,
it happens all the time.

Speaker 1 (01:07:13):
But I feel a pendulum swinging in another direction as
far as how I feel about it, Like how it
used to hurt me, you know what I mean. You
you tell someone you want to find out if somebody
your friend, you tell them no one and their reaction
with what was said all you know what I mean

(01:07:34):
chuck a man, I got a business, you know, opportunity.
I want to start this. I want to start that.
Man can give me a hundred thousand and you don't
even have to tell them no.

Speaker 4 (01:07:44):
You can say not right now. You know later on.

Speaker 1 (01:07:47):
But these are the same people pay their rent, pay
that over the years, child support, you know, pay your
mom rent.

Speaker 4 (01:07:55):
You know this that.

Speaker 1 (01:07:58):
Every time you go to a jewelry store, you taking them,
you know, because the most awkward feeling is I don't
want to be shining and looking good and my homeboys not.
So when I go see Manny, you know what I mean,
they going You know what I mean? When I get cars,
they get cars, you know what I mean. Like and
it's just like when you tell them no, the way

(01:08:19):
they you know they act. You know, somebody saying this, yo, man,
what's up with your man?

Speaker 4 (01:08:23):
They are? You know what's up with a man?

Speaker 2 (01:08:26):
Dangn you know what I mean? Like after reading your book,
nobody's your question.

Speaker 4 (01:08:29):
You're loyal.

Speaker 1 (01:08:29):
You'll ever say you took care of me. I'm telling
you what you've seen. But do you regret that? Because
I mean, Virginia, that's you everywhere.

Speaker 4 (01:08:38):
That's where I say, depending on is swinging.

Speaker 1 (01:08:40):
That's what That's why I say or feel that my
maturation is on a higher level now because back then,
when something uh traumatic will happen to me like that,
and I see how they act for me telling them no,
I feel myself not giving the damn anymore.

Speaker 4 (01:09:01):
Like you know what I mean.

Speaker 8 (01:09:03):
Even in the book, there's nobody that felt like that
was around you that didn't help you in some way,
shape or form.

Speaker 2 (01:09:09):
So you was repaying them.

Speaker 8 (01:09:10):
Like you talk about how when you was in jail,
they was taking care of your mom, and they were
the ones that would tell you, you know, you know,
you're not gonna be hustling, You're gonna be playing ball.
So it wasn't like you just had a bunch of
leeches around. There was people that looked out for you,
so you look back out for them.

Speaker 1 (01:09:24):
You know what, if I look out for one of
my homeboys, my homegirls, I don't expect you to give
it back, you know what I mean. I ain't never
asked for nothing back, you know what I mean. I
just feel like me being ahead of a snake. The
perfect example is like me being on twenty one team
went to the finals. I'm the killer everybody know that

(01:09:44):
this is the guy gonna put the ball in the basket.

Speaker 4 (01:09:47):
This is what he do. Now what we do is
compliment him.

Speaker 1 (01:09:51):
We do everything else all his deficiencies and things that
he can't do on the defensive end that you know
of the court. You know he's leading the league and deals,
yeah after year, but you got to gamble and when
he gambled, the ken Bay is there to make sure
I'm good.

Speaker 4 (01:10:06):
The O is there, the block shots, make sure I'm good.

Speaker 1 (01:10:09):
They could do all of the things that I couldn't
do it and that's what that's what made Voltron, you
know what I mean. You put all those things together,
and that I was. It was me and a bunch
of dogs, you know what I mean. And it's the
same thing with my friendship. Yeah, he's the guy.

Speaker 4 (01:10:22):
People look at him another way. So I have a role.
You know, I have to do this. This is my part.
This is what I have to do.

Speaker 8 (01:10:28):
Another thing too, And maybe this could be part of
what you're feeling right now. It seemed like the whole
team had a dream.

Speaker 2 (01:10:34):
It wasn't.

Speaker 8 (01:10:35):
It wasn't you supposed to get on in basketball. You're
supposed to get on in basketball. And everybody was supposed
to make it in rap so everybody was supposed to
be doing their own thing.

Speaker 1 (01:10:41):
I didn't have the I didn't have the lebron James
crue Ma Rich. I didn't have that blueprint, you know
what I mean. I'm like, look, we're gonna get in
when we fit in, you know what I mean. Like,
I had one of my homeboys tell me, like, I'm
going to work every day, working every day.

Speaker 4 (01:10:57):
Mas's supposed to be a superstar by now, you know
what I mean, you know, going to work.

Speaker 1 (01:11:01):
I'm like, like I've had incidents like you know, I'm
getting ready to go on the road and it was
a casino.

Speaker 4 (01:11:07):
I go to the bank, I get fifty thousand.

Speaker 1 (01:11:09):
They got thirty thousand and large and twenty thousand and
you know, twenties. And I'm getting on the plane. My
man come, I give him the twenty thousand. He looked
at it like it was something wrong with it because
it was all twenties.

Speaker 4 (01:11:25):
You know what i mean. I'm like, Yo, did this
you know?

Speaker 7 (01:11:27):
Really?

Speaker 4 (01:11:28):
Just did that really just happened? You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (01:11:31):
And it's like you can you're thinking you're doing what's right,
but you only you're not holding people accountable. You being
a crutch for him. It's like putting a band aid
on something, you know what I mean. You're not stitching
it up, you know what I mean, not stapling it up,
you know what I mean. And they always feel like that,
you know what I mean. But like the hurtful part

(01:11:51):
is the response of actually saying no. Aaron Aaron McKey
told me, he said, Chuck, just you know what I mean.
When you when you're cutting your grass, you know what
I mean, and you getting them snakes out of there,
let them ask you for something and tell them no,
you know what I mean. And I think I'm doing
a great job of cutting it. But you still got

(01:12:12):
a little small you know. The snakes might be gone,
but some worms in there, some small.

Speaker 8 (01:12:20):
You know. Right now it's Charles Barkley and a whole
bunch of people saying we was trying to tell him
this thirty.

Speaker 4 (01:12:26):
Like. It's just like the basketball aspect of everything.

Speaker 1 (01:12:28):
I ain't never think that I will retire there early,
you know what I mean, Man, I ain't never had
no back up playing Like growing up, once my mom
told me I could be anything I wanted to be.

Speaker 4 (01:12:40):
I wanted to be a NBA basketball player, and that
was it. It was no, it was no b C. D.
It was just that that one dream.

Speaker 8 (01:12:47):
You know.

Speaker 1 (01:12:48):
Coach Thompson used to always tell me, you always listen
in to everybody else. You're always listening to somebody that's
never been to you know, from A to Z telling
you how to get there.

Speaker 4 (01:12:59):
You know, you know what I mean. And that's what
I was.

Speaker 1 (01:13:01):
I had everybody that wasn't me and never had the
experience telling me how to do it.

Speaker 8 (01:13:07):
I want to ask you about the title of the book, man,
do you think you were misunderstood that's the title of
the book or did people outside of your circle just
not take the time to understand you.

Speaker 4 (01:13:17):
You're smart, dude, sometimes a lot. This is one of
my favorite shows, so I you know, I see the
good days a bad days.

Speaker 1 (01:13:31):
I watched Dame come up here. It's for real, it
gets real. I think they can answer it better. My
perspective is they were learning on the fly to It's like,
you know, with my documentary that's coming out, it was
like three hours long.

Speaker 4 (01:13:50):
I think I cried like two and a half hours
of I had to keep walking out of the theater.

Speaker 1 (01:13:55):
Because you think you know when it comes to people
that love you, you think you know how they feel
about you know, turbulent times, you know what I mean,
And you think you know how your girl feel. You
think you know how your mom feel, your uncles, your aunts,
your homeboys, your homegirls. But then when they actually tell
you from their point of view, how they felt, you know,
and how they looked at things, and how I didn't

(01:14:17):
see how I was, how they had to try to
address me with certain things, like you know, you driving
the car, we we riding shotgun. And it's hard to
tell somebody, you know, that's trying to live their life
what they should do and what they shouldn't do, you
know what I mean. Like I'm twenty one years old,

(01:14:37):
you know what I mean, when I got into the
league at that age, Like you couldn't You couldn't tell
me nothing, you know what I'm saying, Like I'm here,
you know what I mean. Like the dress code, I'm like,
I dressed like the dudes, the drug dealers from my neighborhood.
Like you know, I'm dressing like this because you know

(01:14:58):
this is what I the old he is from my name,
but this is how they dressed.

Speaker 4 (01:15:01):
You know what I mean. I just couldn't afford it,
you know what I mean. My corn rolls.

Speaker 1 (01:15:04):
I got corn rolls because I was tired of barber's
messing my hair. I'm like, damn, if I just grow
my hair, you know, I ain't got to deal with that.

Speaker 4 (01:15:12):
You know. Tattoos just got addictive. I got one.

Speaker 1 (01:15:14):
I couldn't afford him. I would have been got a
lot of My daddy was a hustler, you know what
I mean. He was in the streets, my mom, in
the streets, like I didn't.

Speaker 10 (01:15:23):
Have no sit you down and give you structure?

Speaker 4 (01:15:27):
Is how you wasn't no.

Speaker 1 (01:15:28):
Coach Thompson then, you know what I mean. Wasn't those
people They weren't in my life yet. So all of
all of that was where he was he was, But
it was it was he was there when I got
to the NBA. Me and his phone calls was you know,
we never talked about basketball, all right, Yeah, I'm just
checking o how Swamna's good out of kids, you know

(01:15:50):
what I mean?

Speaker 4 (01:15:50):
And that was it.

Speaker 1 (01:15:51):
He was allowing me and thinking he was preparing me
at Georgetown for what was the inevitable me going.

Speaker 4 (01:15:59):
To the lead. You can't prepare for that, bro.

Speaker 1 (01:16:02):
How was that pressure though? Because the nicest player, right?
But you changed culture. But when you changed the culture,
the NBA pushed back against it, but you never broke.
You never folded, even though they could have said, they
could have been AI said, now we don't want you
in our league.

Speaker 4 (01:16:17):
But you never folded.

Speaker 2 (01:16:18):
You never back down, and you kept it that way,
which hurt you at times. Why was that they profited
off of too?

Speaker 4 (01:16:24):
You know what I mean? I would be on.

Speaker 1 (01:16:26):
One of the things that hurt me is I was
on a magazine. They wanted me on a magazine because
of my talent and who I was, but they air
brushed my tattoos off. Well you want me, but you
you know you want some of me. I took the
ass whoop before it. But the dress code thing, like
I actually was just you know what I mean, I.

Speaker 4 (01:16:45):
Was twenty one. Where am I going after the game?
Going to the club, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (01:16:49):
Like before that, they were used to dudes wearing soups,
and you know what I mean, I was like, damn,
Like I've never wonn a soup.

Speaker 4 (01:16:56):
Growing up, going to church or to a funeral, the
only time am I theom in the courtroom? Definitely in
the court room.

Speaker 1 (01:17:08):
So I never wore a soup to the to the gym,
to play, to the to the park sweatsuit, you know
what I mean, or whatever.

Speaker 4 (01:17:18):
You know what I'm saying. So I ain't think I
ain't think nothing of it.

Speaker 1 (01:17:21):
David Stern and rest of the NBA was like, ah,
because it was all right when I was doing it,
but then everybody else said, okay, like he can do that,
we can do this. So then everybody, you know, you
see Kobe coming in with the diamond chains on and
the baggy clothes, and you know, everybody started doing it.
Then the league was like, hold on, you gotta do
something about that. So it wasn't it wasn't anything malicious

(01:17:43):
like and that and that. That whole situation showed me
a lot and it proved a lot to me at
a young.

Speaker 4 (01:17:48):
Age about stereotyping people, because you.

Speaker 1 (01:17:51):
Know, when you seen John Gotti, John Gotty kept on
the two thousand dollars suit, but what was he He
get busy.

Speaker 4 (01:17:57):

Speaker 1 (01:17:58):
So it ain't about you know what you got on
on the outside, who you are, and they said that
bother you the most where they labeled you a thump.

Speaker 4 (01:18:05):
Yeah, I'll be cool with a street dude, cool with
that because that's what I am.

Speaker 1 (01:18:12):
I mean, that's where I come from. That's all I've
ever been around my life. That's where I grew up around.
But a thug like nah, that's a that's a stretch.

Speaker 2 (01:18:22):
I was wondering would you change things?

Speaker 8 (01:18:24):
And the reason I asked that because even in the book,
you understood you had to wear a suit the court,
but you didn't want to do it for press conferences.

Speaker 4 (01:18:32):
In the NBA, I was bad advice like I was.

Speaker 1 (01:18:35):
You know, I was told to take a go to
trial and go off whatever the judge say, opposed to
having a jury that, you know what I mean. Some
of that I was getting advice from people that never
had been through it, you know what I mean. I
was told that if I wore a suit then they'd
be leanient I was. I was extremely wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:18:57):
So you wish you to just wa.

Speaker 4 (01:19:04):
I remember I remember that same suit.

Speaker 1 (01:19:06):
I was in a sale it was one hundred degrees
with no fans in there, and the older sale. I
was in the old man sale with fifteen people, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (01:19:16):
And that suit.

Speaker 1 (01:19:16):
When they came got me, I was in the corner
with my boxes on, you know what I mean, soaking
wet and the suit was balled up.

Speaker 4 (01:19:23):
In the corner. When they came and got me out
of there, I had on my box you know what
I mean. So I don't know what. Do you regret anything? Nah,
because I wouldn't be you on I am now.

Speaker 1 (01:19:33):
I wouldn't change anything man in my life, all of
these experience, even with the book. Man, it's like I
love like my girl always talked to me about why
do you let like what I started talking about in
the beginning, why do you let that type.

Speaker 2 (01:19:47):
Of bother you? And I'm like practice press conference.

Speaker 4 (01:19:50):
No, just with my friends, friends, how people you know
what I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:19:55):
It's like why and I don't know, you know what
I mean, Like I love the people that I and
it hurt when they show you who they really are,
of course, because I'm thinking you somebody else, you know
what I mean, And she like, you know, why do
you stress out over stuff like that? And one of
us you different, you have a talent and you you're
blessed to be able to brush that stuff off. It's

(01:20:15):
hard for me now my talent obviously is you know,
legendary with who. But I think another blessed blessing that
I have is to be an open book, to be someone.
I'm embarrassed by practice rant I'm embarrassed about, uh, not
really embarrassed. But it wasn't smart for me, you know,

(01:20:36):
because I remember, you know, people telling me Ai, you
cannot take care of everybody. And I used to let
him go on one air and write out the other like, yo,
you know what I mean. I'm gonna be the exception
to the rule. I'm gonna take care of the people.

Speaker 4 (01:20:50):
That I love. Like that's just me, you know what
I mean.

Speaker 18 (01:20:54):
And I think that's why I hurt you so bad
because your heart, isn't it You love these people? You know,
you superman, but you still have a heart, you know
what I mean?

Speaker 1 (01:21:03):
And you like but this is but this is my
this is my gift, Like this is my gift to
this book, this this documentary. My experience is the turbulent,
the ups and downs, Like uh, if one kid or
one adult whatever read this book and they can take
something from it. I have people come to me all
the time be like yo, man, you inspired my life. Man,

(01:21:23):
I would have died. If it was for you, I
would have went to jail for the rest of my life.

Speaker 4 (01:21:27):

Speaker 1 (01:21:28):
Like you you changed my life, and that that motivate me.
You know what I mean, Like I'm to give more,
like to even when you embarrass you uncomfortable, you know,
talk about it.

Speaker 4 (01:21:38):
Somebody might not have to go through it. Somebody might.
You might save somebody's life, you know what i mean. Like,
talk about it.

Speaker 1 (01:21:44):
Man, you was on top of the world. You had
all the money, you know what I mean, all you
had to do. It's easy for to tell Chuck what
to do with his easy for somebody to say what
I would have did? Man, that was him, I would
have did. You ain't me, you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (01:21:58):
You don't know how. I'm sorry. You're not me, you
know what I mean. I make mistakes, I'm human, just
like you.

Speaker 1 (01:22:05):
I've seen an interview you gave up drinking six months ago,
at that point where you said this is enough.

Speaker 4 (01:22:10):
It was it was I'll be lying if I would
say it just just stopped the brother, you know what
I mean? It was it was situations. You know what
I mean. You know where is you know what I mean?
Like I know I put it here. You know what
I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:22:25):
It's the same thing having certain guys around you. Everybody
when when when they your people, your people know.

Speaker 4 (01:22:30):
When you're drunk, you know, just chill, man, Just.

Speaker 1 (01:22:34):
Him some more glasses, dumb and he Yo, man, right now, man,
God damn, I need you to you know what I'm saying, man,
But this is going on, that going on.

Speaker 2 (01:22:44):
Man.

Speaker 4 (01:22:45):
I need you to.

Speaker 2 (01:22:48):
Get this because let me just talk about when I
get nice.

Speaker 4 (01:22:58):
I wanted to sleep glass line a thousand on me,
you know what I mean, But I got twelve hundred.

Speaker 1 (01:23:08):
What my sniggers, My man, you gave such and such
your your your little sniggers, you gave your sister, your
your uh your uh, your your fur coat.

Speaker 4 (01:23:20):
You can you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (01:23:22):
Like I mean, that's just that's just small to the
the real you know what I mean. Not feeling well,
You know what I mean. I mean, I did all
this and I was having fun last night. To wake
up feeling like this, you know what I mean. Then
my responsibilities you you you know what I mean. You're
missing flights and you know what I mean. I mean,

(01:23:43):
just a it's a pluthor r of things, man.

Speaker 4 (01:23:45):
You just drinking.

Speaker 1 (01:23:46):
You know what I'm saying, Like I saw to evaluate
and like what good does it do for me? You understand?
Like you, I mean, you can you can have fun
with your own boys, your homegirls, you know what I
mean without that. And I talked to God about it.
I asked them to help me be strong. I didn't
go to no AA or nothing like that. Like I

(01:24:07):
I was like, Okay, I'm not I'm not doing it.
And that's what it wasn't. The crazy thing about it
is I've been with her for fifteen, for thirty five
years and since I was fifteen, And this crazy part
about it is she said when I told her I
was stopping that after that, she prayed on it. And

(01:24:28):
she said that was the only time that she ever
prayed on it. Like I said it plenty times in
the past, and she said that was the only time
that she prayed on it.

Speaker 10 (01:24:36):
And I was authentic with it as a husband.

Speaker 4 (01:24:40):
What have you discovered now, boyfriend, your marri.

Speaker 2 (01:24:45):
Boyfriend. I mean, we got the boy, so you married
the boy. Then y'all got right back together like six
months later.

Speaker 1 (01:24:53):
I mean, I want to don't I want this point
to be made because you think I'm more I am,
and I was out of control.

Speaker 4 (01:25:03):
I was out of control, and.

Speaker 1 (01:25:06):
This threat was there for years, for years and years
and years and years and years, and it's like the
boy cried wolf, like whatever, I heard that before.

Speaker 4 (01:25:17):

Speaker 1 (01:25:17):
And then it was like she got to the point
where like, yo, I gotta show this, I gotta do
something to show him I'm serious.

Speaker 4 (01:25:26):
And that's what happened. You in that courtroom.

Speaker 1 (01:25:29):
You're looking over there and you see number one right there,
and you're looking down at that paper and them tears
hitting that paper and they don't say, you know, I've
been Georgetown versus Georgetown and it's been a scrimmage or
sixes versus sixers, and you're looking at the stat sheet
whatever I'm looking at Iverston versus Iverson, you.

Speaker 4 (01:25:50):
Know what I mean, And like, Yo, it's real, you
know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (01:25:54):
Like did you ask suit?

Speaker 1 (01:25:58):
Look, I really was defiant then, you know what I mean,
Like you got me in here, you know what I mean.
And I had a judge and judge was vicious, like
I couldn't do nothing right.

Speaker 13 (01:26:08):
Even in that moment, you were defined and I guess
upset even though you knew because you said you knew
you were out of control. But so like in that moment,
why are you defining upset if she's just doing what
she thinks is going to help, I guess, to get
you to a better spot for her.

Speaker 1 (01:26:22):
I was selfishly thinking about my Demid because I know
in my heart and in my mind that I can't
live without.

Speaker 4 (01:26:33):
You know what I'm saying, like I know it, like
I know it.

Speaker 1 (01:26:35):
I took, I took her love for me for granted,
you know what I mean, Like as far as she
loving me so much that I felt like you know
that she would never she would never go nowhere like
this is all I've known. This is the only love
that I've ever known, as far as like I never
loved someone like this in my life, you know what

(01:26:58):
I mean? Then a lot of times, you know, all
women would say, or even guys, you know, anybody that's
you know, logical about anything, How you love her so
much and you do the things?

Speaker 4 (01:27:09):
And I don't have an answer.

Speaker 2 (01:27:11):
We never do though, as men, we never do. We
don't know why we do we do?

Speaker 5 (01:27:16):
So how has not drinking?

Speaker 13 (01:27:18):
And you know it seems like you're you know, your
focus is different in this time of your life. How
has that made you guys rediscover each other in a relationship.

Speaker 4 (01:27:24):
Oh yeah, I'm Claire Huxtable. I'm in Cliff.

Speaker 1 (01:27:29):
I'm Cliff Huxortable. Now I'm I'm I kind of get
a feeling like I'm the guy like I felt always
felt like, you know, I was the guy.

Speaker 4 (01:27:38):
She always wanted you know what I mean, wanted to be,
you know, wanted me to be.

Speaker 1 (01:27:44):
But I really feel like that guy now, Like I
feel like it's not the Huxtables around there obviously, but
like she love you know this me, you know, because
you always getting this me. It's hard to take advantage
of somebody that can see clear as hell, you know
what I mean, opposed to being nonchalant about everything.

Speaker 4 (01:28:05):
You know what I mean, Like it's you know, my
homeboys says a different Chuck. Now you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:28:10):
I see, I see what's going on, you know what
I mean. All the stuff that I used to, you know,
not pay attention to, I'm paying attention to it now,
you know what I mean. And I just think, you know,
by me making this decision, it's so much better for
not just myself, everybody around me.

Speaker 4 (01:28:30):
Man, I can help better.

Speaker 1 (01:28:31):
My advice is better, you know what I mean, Like
I'm a better friend now, I'm a better family member.
You know clear, you know what I'm saying, Like I
promise you I'm the smartest man in the world because
I know him.

Speaker 2 (01:28:47):
Not saying you got to I do. Got one last question.

Speaker 8 (01:28:50):
Man, you changed the entire culture of basketball, but to me,
you change black culture. You also change hip hop culture
from your fashion to your attitude to just your authenticity.
When you see how the NBA in the world embraces individuality.
Now do you feel celebrated or do you still feel misunderstood?

Speaker 1 (01:29:08):
It's I get the opportunity, Like this is opportunity for me,
you know what I mean, Like all of those years
you wanted to you know you wanted this. Oh man,
you got me wrong. Talk about it to your family,
your friends. Man, I'm misunderstood. Man, they don't They ain't
getting it, you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (01:29:27):
It ain't like that. And then this platform and then
all the other big platforms.

Speaker 1 (01:29:32):
You know, just you guys give me an opportunity to
come up here and ask me that I want to
answer that that I want the world to know.

Speaker 4 (01:29:40):
And this book took years you know what I mean.
The documentary took years to do.

Speaker 1 (01:29:44):
I'm just happy that I get an opportunity to tell
my story or write my story and help.

Speaker 4 (01:29:52):
And help and help somebody. All I want is for
people to get out of it. Man, It's all right
to be you. It's all right. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:30:02):
It's it's it's things that's gonna happen in your life,
and it's gonna be tough, you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (01:30:08):
But that's when you're gonna lean on number one. You're
gonna lean on him. You're gonna lean on God. You
don't you don't ask them, uh any, You don't question
him at all? You know what I mean. Whatever happened happened.
I ain't never my grandma.

Speaker 1 (01:30:22):
Told me when I went to jail, that bowling alley thing.
I said, now, why are they doing this to me?
If they know I didn't do what they said? I
did question, never questioned God, and I've never done it
since then. You know what I mean, Whatever he do,
you know what I mean, I'm cool with it.

Speaker 4 (01:30:37):

Speaker 1 (01:30:38):
He driving his car and I'm gonna just sitting there,
ride shotgun wherever he take me. That's where I'm going,
and I'm gonna live with the results. So that's that's
the only thing I want. I just think, man, live
and laugh, love man.

Speaker 2 (01:30:51):
We love you, brother.

Speaker 4 (01:30:52):
You out right now, I got go.

Speaker 2 (01:31:02):
The breakfast club. Good morning, It's time to get up
out of here. Charlaman. You got a positive note? Yes
I do, man, and it's simple. I want to talk
to you about perseverance. Okay.

Speaker 8 (01:31:10):
People think that perseverance is like this long race. No,
perseverance is many short races, one after another, and you're
gonna need it, okay, because success is no accident. It
is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice, and most of all,
love of what you are doing or learning to do.

Speaker 2 (01:31:30):
Have a great day, Breakfast club, bitches, you don't finish
or y'all done.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}The Breakfast Club BEST OF - Best Sellers of 2025 - Mel Robbins, Dawn Staley, Allen Iverson + More