437: How to Have a Thick Skin, with Lauren Blakely

Hi listeners! Sarina here, with a topic that has been on my mind for years. When I began my career, everyone told me I had to develop a “thick skin” to do this job. But it turns out that a “thick skin” is one of the only things you can’t buy on Amazon. 

Today I invite my friend Lauren Blakely onto the podcast for a frank discussion of all that we’ve learned about resilience, one-star ratings and feedback these past ten years or so. 

Together, we offer the beginnings of a handy framework for how to think about feedback. We offer some actionable advice for what to do, where to turn and how to process unsolicited criticism. 

You do not have to attend every conversation you’re invited to. - A wise stranger on the interwebs.

Since avoiding negative feedback just isn’t feasible, we discuss the following coping mechanisms. 

1. Checking in with a friend and having friends in the business
   
   
2. How to make sure that good feedback is as available and memorable as the bad
   
   
3. Recognizing that clinging to negatives is how the brain works. That reflex has an important evolutionary role, but we don’t have to subjugate ourselves to it.
   
   
4. Lifting up other people as soulcraft
   
   

Where to find Lauren Blakely: 

Ms. Blakely is the author of multiple bestsellers. For a master class in how to package genre fiction, you’ll definitely want a peek at her backlist.

Find more from Lauren at Instagram!

What we are reading:

Lauren is loving the forthcoming Shoot Your Shot by Lexi LaFleur. It’s a hockey romance.

Sarina is loving The Notebook: A History of Thinking on Paper by Roland Allen, which tickles her geeky, paper-loving heart.