July 22, 2024 • 45 mins
In this birth story episode, Kelly and Tiffany recount the incredible birth of a planned homebirth following an unplanned unassisted birth. They discuss their own personal experiences in this birth, the profound moments shared with the family, and the unique dynamics of the birth process. You are sure to love this sweet birth story!
00:00 Introduction and Summer Reflections
02:43 Listener Review
04:41 We Heart Nutrition Highlight
12:54 The Birth Story Begins
13:25 The Birth Moment and Father's Role
18:01 Post-Birth Reflections
42:25 Final Thoughts and Announcements
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to At Home with Kellyand Tiffany, where naturally
minded women gather together aswe pursue simplicity and
confidence in healthalternatives, so we can show up
better in our busy lives andfeel more at home in our bodies.
Join your favorite home birthmidwife duo for conversation,
candor, and community.
Welcome back to At Home withKelly and Tiffany.
(00:21):
I'm Tiffany.
I'm Kelly.
And man, oh man, we arerecording this in the middle of
summer.
Mm hmm.
It's hot.
It's hot, but my brain is juston summertime.
It's been a joy to allow mybrain to be in the summertime.
It's such a sweet season for usin particular because we're not
(00:44):
on call this summer.
We had our last birth at thebeginning of June and I was, I
was just thinking like, welllast summer felt kind of light
too because we were you know, wehad such a Such a low volume of
clients, but weren't we on calllast summer?
(01:04):
I think we were actually nowthat I'm thinking about it
because I remember talking aboutTrying to plan something getting
away and we had to wait for acertain amount of time or
something I can't rememberexactly but the summer before
that the summer before that thesummer before that We always had
a huge group of births in likeJuly or August or something.
(01:26):
And so we haven't been off, wehaven't been like really off,
off call in summertime in awhile.
And so it's, it's so nice to notbe attached to my phone, to plan
little trips and know thatthey're not going to get
interrupted, to just go to thebeach that doesn't have cell
service and just enjoy sittingthere.
That's one of my favoritethings.
(01:47):
And I'll be like, well, I canjust leave my phone in my car or
at home wherever.
It's wonderful.
Oh, it's so good.
Yeah, it feels, it feels reallygood.
And I actually am truly enjoyingsummer.
And this is the first summer inI don't know how many years that
we are actually, like, planninga few things as a family to get
out of town.
Even just for like a coupledays.
(02:07):
I'm really excited.
It feels like a new version ofmyself.
I'm like, look at me! planningthings.
Yeah, I told my husband theother day, like, we need to have
two trips loaded at all times.
And we're about to go onvacation next week.
So I'm like, Oh no, we only haveone.
We only have one trip.
No, I need to plan one more inthe next week.
(02:29):
Just to have it loaded.
Hurry up.
Okay.
I am so excited to share thisparticular birth story.
It is it, this, this birth was abig deal and we will get into
why that was.
But first I want to share areview and this review is so
sweet.
It just, you know, we just go inchronological order.
(02:51):
to try to keep track of who'sleft reviews and when we share
them and stuff.
And this one came up for thisepisode, which is so cool.
She's talking all about how muchshe loves the birth story thing
that we've been doing.
I'm so thankful to hear that toobecause it's one of my favorite
things that we've done on thispodcast.
I'm really glad that we're doingit.
It's like, it's cathartic for mein some way too.
(03:12):
It's sweet.
Okay, so this is what SharpieKundi says.
Sharpie Kundi?
Sharpie.
Shar pie coon die.
Okay, I like it.
She knows who she is out there.
She 100 percent knows who sheis.
You tell us that you heard usread your review, and we'll buy
you a drink.
Five star review, titled, Lovethe Birth Stories.
(03:36):
I've been listening, oh, I havebeen loving listening to Callie
and Tiffany's birth stories froma midwife's perspective.
Birth stories have been soeducational and inspiring to
listen to during this pregnancy,and I love their unique
viewpoint.
It's a fun listen for those wholike a cross between an
educational and a girl talklisten.
(03:56):
Thanks for what you do, ladies.
I love it.
I'm so glad it's landing.
Yes, exactly.
And it's just, it's cool to seeour vision for it actually
hitting people.
the way that we anticipated,right?
Because I do think it is cool tobe able to share some of these
experiences that we have hadclinically.
(04:17):
Oftentimes when we hear birthstories it's moms telling their
own birth story, which is goodand important, but there's this
piece also that we get to dothat's sharing pieces but also
sprinkling in some midwiferycare clinical aspects of it,
which is cool.
It's very cool.
Okay, so you guys have heard ustalk about We Heart Nutrition,
(04:41):
and we absolutely love thissupplement company.
You get on their website,weheartnutrition.
com, and it's like easy to seewhy they are our favorite
supplement company to recommend.
But I want to do a littlehighlight on omegas, and just
different ways that we're usingomegas in our own home, and the
(05:02):
benefits of omega on skin healthspecifically.
I think I've always understoodhow it plays a role in anti
inflammation, but I don't thinkI fully understood how essential
amino acids are a part of thebuilding block of our skin's
function, but also especiallythe barrier.
(05:26):
So, your skin's barrier is whatkind of essentially like
protects your entire body.
Your skin is your largest organ.
And so, your skin barrier keepsinfection out and keeps invaders
and keeps allergens out and youknow allows good things to come
(05:46):
in so taking it internally isjust helping with all of those
pieces but we've also been usingomega topically and you guys
heard me share a few episodesago about one of my kiddos just
navigating like skincare optionsand different clean beauty
things and You know, etc, etc.
(06:08):
It's been a saga, right?
And one of the things that we'redoing to rehab the skin and to
enforce that good barrier of theskin is Applying these omega
capsules like directly on theskin and it's been a game
changer That's been Actuallysoup so you just like prick it a
(06:28):
little bit and get the oil outand does she Leave it on her
skin.
Does she like oil cleanse withit or okay.
She just leaves it Yeah, so it'sjust a part of the skincare
routine.
We have like a little Like alittle, I don't know, pin.
That she also just like leavesin it to keep it plugged up.
Okay, she doesn't use an entirecapsule.
No, maybe like a whole capsulewill last her like a week or
(06:49):
something.
Oh, cool.
Yeah, so she just takes a littlebit out, puts it on after she
washes her face.
And it works really well on herlips where she's using it
specifically because it's okayto have like this glossy thing
on there already, right?
That looks normal.
But you can put it on any otherplace on your body, any other
skin problem areas, and it'sdirectly related to helping
(07:13):
build that skin barrier back upand keep you from having, you
know, sun damage or different,different weather things or
different things that go on yourskin, any problem areas, eczema,
rashes even just like acne oranything that like kind of
interrupts the integrity of theskin.
(07:34):
It helps to build all that stuffback up.
So there's a little hot tip foryou.
That is super fascinating.
I'm going to share a one offthing that we've been taking
this puppy that we adopted from.
Tiffany's home to puppy trainingclass and it's with this trainer
who is Obviously obsessed withher animals like makes her dogs
(07:57):
food from scratch kind of stuffWhich more power to you that is
not a hundred percent not me Butanyway, she was like, oh and
then you need to make sure thatyou're supplementing your dogs
And she's talking literally asif, like, they were humans.
She's like, the probiotics, oh,and the prebiotics, and like,
this type of food, and you know,they're just like people and
what they need, yadda yadda.
She was like, you absolutelyneed to be supplementing with
(08:20):
omegas for your dog because oftheir skin health and whatever.
And I was like, this is justreally funny to me that I'm
sitting here listening to advicethat I often give to humans be
given to dogs.
Anyway.
Yeah.
I would love to talk to that dogtrainer.
Do you still have sessions leftwith the dog trainer?
I have one more session left.
(08:40):
Okay.
So you can show up to that andyou can say, I was really
digesting all the informationyou said about supplementation
for dogs.
And I was just wondering, whatdo you, how do you supplement
yourself?
That's a question I would reallylike the answer to, just given
the information I have on therest of her life.
I mean, she probably takesbetter care of her dogs than
(09:02):
herself.
I would guarantee it.
I love animals.
I don't know, that's a strongstatement.
I tolerate animals and we keepcollecting more and more of
them.
I see the value that they bringto family, life, companionship,
etc.
However, I get really irritatedwhen people make animals more
(09:25):
important than humans.
In any way.
Yeah, like elevating theirexperience over a human's
experience in some way.
Yes.
Yes, 100%.
Okay, just real quick, just toemphasize this, and so that
people stop following us wholove, love pets more than
people.
Can you share that thing thatthat guy said at the baby shower
(09:46):
you were at last month?
About how they're very preparedfor parenting.
So one of my husband's bestfriends from high school is
having his first baby.
So on the like older end ofthings, right, we have a
teenager already and he's likejust entering into parenthood.
And so we're talking about likethe shift that's going to happen
in life and whatever.
And he said non ironically thatthey've had this dog for the
(10:11):
last few years that they havereally loved, that they have
incorporated into their family,that they take to swi they take
them to swim lessons for thisdog.
They do all of these things.
So they are fully prepared forparenting because they've been
parenting for so many years intheir view, this dog.
(10:31):
And Trevor and I both looked ateach other and it was like hard
not to laugh, but also we werelike, That's, that's
interesting.
This is going to be realdifferent.
And I know you don't understandthat yet, but it's going to be
so different.
I'm sorry.
Bless it.
Yep.
I also I also used to tell mydoula clients all the time who
(10:52):
really loved their, usually dog,right?
Love, love, love this dog.
And it's the most importantthing to them.
And maybe that's a part of whythey want to labor at home as
long as possible or to have ahome because.
then they don't have to leavetheir pet behind.
So sweet.
But I used to tell doula clientsall the time, like, okay, so
(11:14):
just prepare yourself for reallydegrading this animal to the
lowest possible level in yourhome and family, because
suddenly in perspective withyour newborn.
Your dog is, there's no possibleway it can maintain the level of
(11:35):
importance that it is in yourlife right now.
And just, just, I'm plantingthat seed so it doesn't
completely take you by surpriseand you feel like the worst
animal owner on the planet.
Because now your dog sleepsoutside and you Basically kick
it to the side because it's inthe way and you are so irritated
(11:57):
that it requires any amount ofcare and affection for you.
Not everybody feels that way.
So, so I stopped telling mydoula clients that because it
really upset them and made themangry at me.
And they're like, you don'tunderstand my love for my pet.
This is different.
And I'm like, oh, this isn'thelping you actually.
This is mostly just making youhate me and you haven't even had
(12:20):
your baby yet.
So.
Perfect.
We'll not continue with thatadvice.
But put that in your backpocket.
Whoo, animals and babies.
That is a radical combination.
Radical.
There we go.
Omegas.
So please visitWeHeartNutrition.
com And check out all theirsupplements, but specifically
(12:42):
the benefits of Omega.
We cannot, we cannot emphasizeenough.
You guys know you can use couponbeautiful one to get 20 percent
off your order.
I mean, that's amazing in and ofitself.
Okay.
Today we're sharing a birthstory about a planned home
birth.
That happened after anunplanned, unassisted birth, and
(13:06):
that basically means I thinktheir first baby they had in the
hospital, their second baby theymeant to have in the hospital
but it came so quickly they hadit at home accidentally, and
then their third baby they hiredus and we got to attend the
birth of their baby at home, andit was planned.
And this happens quite often,actually, I mean.
(13:30):
We've taken care of a handful ofpeople who were like, I would
never have home birth on myradar.
No, thank you.
But then when you just do it athome on accident, you're like,
Oh, well, this would have beenbetter if I had stuff planned or
like somebody here with me, thatkind of thing.
Yeah.
Instead of like calling 9 1 1and having a bunch of firemen
(13:50):
who probably didn't want to bein there walking in, you know,
all that kind of stuff.
Yep.
So it was really fun to takecare of this particular family
and it was like really funnyactually because this, we knew
this family, they'd go to churchwith us and they, they hired us
basically just based off ofpracticality.
(14:12):
Yeah.
Right?
Yes.
A hundred percent.
And then during the prenatalcare, You know, we were, it was
in the beginning of ourpractice, of course we're going
in chronological order on this.
So this was like, I don't know,maybe like our fifth or sixth
birth or something.
Mm-Hmm.
And we're just very enthusiasticabout all the things that we're
doing in our practice andeverything's fun and brand new,
(14:33):
and we're just bringing so muchvalue into our prenatal time.
And this particular mom waslike.
Okay, well, I'd really just liketo keep our appointments to like
10 or 15 minutes.
So if there's not anything elsethat I have to know about.
I'll see you around.
Yeah.
Yeah, like she was just reallyready to go.
Not because she didn't want to.
(14:56):
To spend time with us or notbecause she didn't she just
truly did not need it She didn'tshe did not need the extra the
extra all the things and I justkept waiting for her to come
around the whole prenatal timeto be like Oh, no, she's gonna
see She's gonna see how themidwifery care is just adding so
much more to the experience andI'll share this a bit more after
(15:17):
we share the birth story itself.
But one of my takeaways Withthis taking care of this family
was You That they really didn'tneed us.
Yeah, and like what a, what agift that actually is.
Like one of the sweet thingsthat midwifery care is that we
get to establish relationshipand all of that, but that had
also happened.
outside of the, you know, theprenatal room, right?
(15:39):
Like we had this relationshipelsewhere.
But it was really sweet to seefor real that they were like,
no, we're actually just kind ofgood.
Like we're, I trust my body.
I know what it's doing.
I know the decisions I'm goingto make.
I know the options that are outthere for me.
And so, yeah, it was just, itwas cool to witness.
I will say though, I rememberspecifically.
She had a sinus infection atsome point in her pregnancy and
(16:03):
we sent her a very thorough,like, holistic sinus infection
protocol.
And that, she was like, Oh, youguys helped me with something!
And she was very thankful forthat.
And I remember being like, Okay,yes, this is meaningful.
This has nothing to do with yourpregnancy or having your baby.
But it, it like, solidified, Ithink, in her mind.
(16:25):
Like, Oh, yes.
This is a very helpfulexperience.
Yeah, she said, I think of thisevery single time I send this
protocol to somebody else,right?
She said, It worked immediately.
I sent it to everyone in myfamily.
Let's go.
And I was like, yes, I was, Iwas like, we have, we have
established value.
Yeah, we've done it.
(16:46):
We've established value for thisclient.
So, you know, it just takes allkinds, right?
I mean, is there a home birthtype?
I don't know.
There's definitely, there'sdefinitely like the majority of
the people we take care of tendto fall into a specific category
that are looking for a certainkind of experience and really
want as much as everything thatwe can offer.
(17:08):
This particular family was like,I'm good.
I trust you.
I trust my body to show up.
Okay.
And that's exactly what we did.
We just showed up and I knowthat she had a love and
affection for us.
Because she shared that manytimes, but she also dubbed us
(17:29):
with the nickname of wives.
It's like, these are my wives.
These are my wives.
She took the mid right off andjust went in with, these are my
wives.
I still see her every so oftenbecause our This daughter and my
youngest are, you know, about ayear or so apart.
So there's like sort of insimilar groupings and certain
(17:49):
classes and things like that andShe'll always be like, hey wife
Like, oh, yeah, she just decidedthat's who we were to her.
Very very sweet.
Okay.
There is a really heavy piece oftaking care of this family and
why it's, why it ended up beingso impactful and important to
(18:11):
us.
And that was because about ayear after this birth, the dad
was diagnosed with a reallyaggressive form of stomach
cancer and he only lived formaybe nine months after that.
Yeah, this, I mean, it was, Atthe end of the year that this
(18:33):
baby was born, he started havingsymptoms.
And so, and by he was presentfor her first birthday party,
but passed away soon after that.
Yeah.
So the mom, I remember hersharing just in her just in her,
I don't know grief.
Yeah.
And processing.
She's like, it was sointeresting how he, you know,
(18:55):
From almost to the day that hewas diagnosed to the day that he
passed away was nine months andher relating that to like a
pregnancy of that experience oflike preparing for and fighting
with and all of those, all ofthose pieces.
It was like, it was sointeresting how she was drawing
(19:17):
some of those parallels becauseshe had just gone through a
process like that.
And What a tremendous amount oftragedy and heartbreak that that
was for us because we love herand she's in our actual personal
community but even just for ourpractice because you just get so
attached to the families thatyou care for and there's a
(19:41):
moment in this birth that I justwill never ever forget where the
dad He just shined in hisfatherhood, actually multiple
places, but I'll share, I'llshare my favorite memory of how,
how that was.
And we get to, we got to be apart of that.
We got to see him in one of hisbest roles ever as the dutiful
(20:04):
and faithful husband and father.
And like, that's so precious.
that we have that gift of beingable to remember him that way.
That was the most experiencethat we had with him besides
just being in community withhim.
And so special, so hard, andjust also so beautiful in the
same space.
(20:24):
And we got to hold, we got tohold some of those pieces for
this family.
Yeah, and we got to witness himbe this strong, connected,
funny, like all of the thingsabout him that were so vibrant.
We got to really experience somany pieces of that, which is a
huge gift.
And we got to be a part of hisbaby's birth, which like, you
(20:46):
know, she gets to carry thatstory forever of how her dad was
there and, you know, showed upand all of those things as well.
And such like a huge experiencewithin the life of a family that
they got to experience togetherone more time.
Um, is really special.
Yeah, it just mattered.
It mattered so much.
(21:07):
There was also, there was alsolike, on our own, in our own
personal lives, there werereally weird things going on.
Not really weird, but just likewhy, you know, like when things
happen in your life and you'relike, why?
And then it was happening toKelly and I Simultaneously, we
were going through reallydifficult separate things Um,
(21:29):
and we got to this birth.
We set up all of our things.
We assessed vitals andeverything We knew they wanted
more privacy So we stepped outof their labor space and we It's
in the middle of the night andwe just sat there and looked at
each other, processing what washappening in our personal lives
also.
And I'm sure we shared this atsome point on the podcast
(21:52):
somewhere, but like we didn'tstart out as best friends.
We just started out as like,like compatible Partners that
had like a lot of ideas and likehopes and dreams and like let's
just go run with that togetherand see what happens.
And like enjoyed each other.
We're friends.
Friendly.
We're friendly.
(22:13):
Yeah.
Not nearly to the depth wherelife kind of has taken us.
Yes, but I will say that thisbirth and what was going on in
our lives at the time was thefulcrum of, you know, You are
going to be my best friend forthe rest of my life.
Don't ever try to untangle fromthat because we are just in it.
Like God was so strategic andsweet and generous with allowing
(22:39):
these things to be happeningsimultaneously.
I'll never forget just sittingand processing at that birth of
like, yeah, wow.
So there, yeah, wow.
There's just a lot.
A lot going on every everywhereand then being called back into
the birth and like, yep, this isit.
It's, there's some really goodthings, there's some hard
(23:02):
things, there's some, someeverything.
So remembering this birth, Iguess all this to say,
remembering this birth is, feelsso big because it brings us back
to that time that was just,there's, there's so many pieces,
their family, our family, ourbusiness.
Our everything, our friendship,there's just so much packed into
(23:24):
this, this time.
I remember she, she, after shehad her baby and her baby was
finally like on her chest, Iremember crying and just being
like, Oh, I just needed, Ineeded that.
I needed something beautiful.
I needed something likeredeeming.
I needed to see it happen.
I needed to do it with you.
Like there were so many pieces,again, that was just this story
(23:46):
as I saw it on the.
Schedule of us recording.
I was like, Oh, that's, that'sgoing to be a, a beautiful,
heavy one.
Beautiful and heavy.
Yeah, absolutely.
Okay.
And these clients had no idea atthat time that our personal
lives were an absolute disaster.
Nope.
No, we, we remainedprofessional.
I think none of our clients knewunless they were particularly.
(24:11):
really close to us or something,but not, yeah, we played that
one close to the chest with ourclients in particular.
Cause it's not about us, right?
Yes.
We need to show up and justserve.
And sometimes that's really hardto do.
And that includes like, Leavingyour children behind and
scrambling to just depart fromwhat's happening in your home
(24:32):
and, oh my gosh.
Yeah.
And we did it, and I don't evenknow how.
I seriously don't.
It was like so crazy.
Okay, so, this baby so thisbirth is four and a half years
ago.
I know, so nuts.
Her water broke at, in theevening, around 7 o'clock.
And she started havingcontractions a couple of hours
(24:53):
later.
And then we charted that heractive labor started around 10
p.
m.
By the time we arrived, so Iimagine her active labor
started, she's like, okay thisis really happening and getting
pretty intense.
I should probably ask mymidwives to come.
And then we didn't arrive to heruntil a little bit after
midnight.
(25:14):
And I remember parking andwalking into their house because
they had just huge pots of mums.
It was in the fall, and justhuge pots of mums at their
doorstep, but it was like,Everything was dark.
It was the middle of the night,but it felt very fall.
It was like very crisp and,Mm-Hmm.
and so sweet.
And I remember specifically atthe home visit, him being very
(25:36):
proud of the flowers outside.
They were like his flowers.
The dad's.
That's right.
We were making, we were makingfun of him for being the
gardener.
Yeah.
And the family.
Yes.
Oh, you're flowers.
Oh, they're so nice.
Oh, that's so cute.
You're pretty little flowers,Yeah.
We just bring compassion intoevery moment.
Ev every moment.
Okay.
So when we arrive.
She's already sort of, herbreath is catching at the peak
(26:00):
of the contraction.
She's already starting to, alittle bit.
And so we're like, oh yeah, wegot here at the right time for
sure.
She's moaning through thesecontractions already.
She's working pretty hard.
and she starts to bear down alittle bit about 25 minutes
after we arrive.
So those little catches turninto more pressure that her
(26:20):
body's responding to.
And at 12 38 a.
m is when we marked that she wasactually pushing.
And she's like, I think I haveto poop.
She gets up to go to thebathroom.
She only pees, because there'sno poopoo, it's just baby.
And then she labored mostly inher bed, and then ended up back
(26:40):
there after trying to poop.
And that's where she just kindof stayed in her bed.
They had a, they had a tub intheir, in their bathroom, and
she was uninterested.
I remember her saying like, Idon't, I don't care about being
in the water.
Nope.
I don't think she ever plannedto.
Yeah.
Which I think is like a helpfulthing for people to hear too,
like you don't have to be in thewater just because you're having
(27:01):
your baby at home.
Yeah.
I mean, and I think like thefirst couple of years of our
practice, like only 20 percentof our clients had babies in the
water.
And I was like, Oh, we've got totell people that because I think
people think like automaticallywater birth, home birth go hand
in hand.
I'm having a home birth.
It is better for me.
It's better for baby if I have.
(27:21):
My baby in the water.
We have a, we have an episodeabout water birth somewhere.
Yeah, where we talk about that.
In the mix, where we talk allabout that and your options and
stuff for that.
You guys can go back and lookfor that episode.
So then she's pushing really,really hard.
And she's working for about 20minutes.
So I think sometimes we alsoportray that like, Oh, third
baby is just going to fall out.
(27:43):
Or your second baby you justaccidentally had at home.
So it must've just.
He must have sneezed and it justfell out.
But third, third baby and shehas had that type of pressure
the whole time we're there forabout an hour and half of that
time she's working really,really hard every single
contraction pushing, pushing,pushing.
(28:04):
And so finally at just a coupleminutes before 1 a.
m.
the head emerges and then 30seconds later the rest of her
Baby comes, but this is the partthat I love the most.
Yep, I, I still have not seenanything quite like it.
Okay, tell the, tell thelisteners.
(28:24):
Okay, so baby, okay, so mom'sworking very, very hard, right?
Pushes her baby out.
We often see in videos or hearin stories, right?
Like, mom reaches down, bringsbaby up to her.
Somebody helps bring babystraight up to her.
And you get that joyous momentof my relief and my joy and all
of those things.
(28:45):
What we don't often hear,though, is sometimes, sometimes
you need a second, right, beforeyou actually can say, like,
okay, I can breathe out whatjust happened and I can breathe
in what is ahead of me, right?
And so we call that the birthpause, where baby comes out and
we just sort of, like, waituntil mom is ready to do
whatever she instinctually wantsto do with her So her husband
(29:08):
catches her baby and we sit andassume that baby will be brought
up to mom, but she's like, no,no, no, give me a second.
And so she's so, so he's holdingthis baby in his hands in
between her legs.
Yes.
Right down in between her legswhile she is, you know, kind of
(29:28):
just breathing and being like,wow.
And looking around taking sipsof water, putting her water, you
know, bottle back down.
chatting a little bit.
She like, she doesn't barelyeven look at her baby yet.
And we are all just anxiouslyawaiting for this next step of
like union between the mom andthe baby.
(29:49):
And I'm certain we charted howlong it was, but it, it felt
like at, at least like a coupleminutes.
It was two minutes.
Which might not sound like long,but that's long when you are
watching a baby.
After they're just born anddad's hands just hovering and
(30:11):
I'm like, you must be, that'slike a lot of time under
tension.
Your arms must be tired at thispoint.
Right.
It was, it was just reallyfascinating until she was ready
and said like, okay, I can havemy baby now.
A solid two minutes of just noteven necessarily the joyous.
Oh my gosh, my baby's here.
It wasn't that really at all.
It was just like a, okay, thatwas.
That was a lot more work than Ianticipated and kind of like
(30:33):
working that out in her body andmind.
It's interesting.
It was so good.
It was so good for us to just belike, this is fine.
I'm sure you'll grab your babyeventually.
And she was like transitioningwell and you know, breathing and
pinking up and well flexed, allthose things.
So there's no concern about thebaby.
But at one point I wanted, I wasalmost like, do you want to put
(30:54):
her down?
Like, You're holding her for solong.
You could just set her down fora minute and then we'll get back
to this when she's ready.
Yeah and so it's just good forus to to recognize some of those
pieces and see that like It's,it's not this, we're not in a
rush for that part.
It's coming and it's okay forjust for one phase to just fully
(31:20):
have completion and rest beforetransitioning to the next thing.
And I think sometimes we're justreally rushing along in all
things in life, but especiallybirth.
We're just like, okay, here, nowget your baby to cry.
Now get your baby on the breast.
Now get your blah, blah, blah.
Okay.
Okay.
Move, move, move.
And.
It's not needed.
There's a different pace thereand we get to follow that lead
(31:42):
when we're really goodattendants.
We get to follow the lead of thepace that's already being set.
Yeah, and that, that really wasa good reminder because I think,
I think maybe there's like anassumption that moving along in
things is like better, right?
Like, okay, we're done with thatpart.
Let's, Let's like, get on to thenext thing, but when we like
(32:02):
actually practice what we preachand slowing things down and
trusting physiology andtrusting, like, and respecting
what parents want and the baby'stransition and all of that,
like, clearly it was exactlywhat she needed and she was able
to control that and we didn'thave to push anything on her
that she wasn't it.
And she was so connected andbonded with her baby when she
(32:24):
was ready to do it.
She was like, oohing and aahingand all of, you know, all of the
things, so happy to have herbaby.
But she really did need a secondto I don't know, kind of
formulate in her brain, I'm donewith that, and potentially that
was harder than what sheanticipated walking into.
Yeah.
Potentially.
Yeah.
(32:44):
And the first thing we chartedthat she said was, well, that
really hurt.
That's the first thing she saidafter her baby was born.
When she was like, you know, inthe room again.
Makes sense.
Yeah.
So, I mean, it was relativelyquick.
She had her baby five hoursafter her water broke.
And only three hours aftercontractions actually started,
(33:07):
she got us there on time, it waspretty smooth.
And that's a helpful thing too,I think, to pull apart as well.
Her water broke at the beginningof her labor without any other,
like, real signs necessarily,and contractions didn't start
till a little while after.
There was no concern on ourpart.
We're like, your baby's moving,you have no concerns.
(33:29):
we'll just see what happens.
And I think we probably justtold her like, hey, if we don't
hear from you tonight, we'lljust check in in the morning and
see how things are going.
That was the extent of, youknow, our kind of guidance on
that unless she was concernedabout something.
Right.
And so that's not what alwayswomen envision or think or are
told by care providers as well.
(33:51):
Yeah.
We didn't say like, well, youshould probably come get some
antibiotics and let's startdoing some vaginal exams as a
comparison of care models.
Yeah.
And then her placenta came outabout 13 minutes after the
birth.
I just like to note that timebecause there's such a huge
variety of timing.
(34:13):
Placentas can come out fiveminutes after the birth, but
usually not.
Usually when we take aphysiological perspective with
third stage, it's 15 to 30minutes is average, probably
closer to 30 minutes.
So the way that placentas comeout in the hospital at 5 10
minutes is a differentmanagement.
(34:34):
That's different management.
Mm-Hmm.
That's a forceful management.
Yeah, for sure.
Of placenta.
But she did lose a considerableamount of blood.
We charted 825 milliliters,which we would say like 500
begins like a significant volumeof blood loss.
And she lost a few more, a fewmore milliliters than that.
(34:55):
And she also told us in herprenatal time.
That she passes out every singlepostpartum, and she loses a lot
of blood and she passes out.
And I remember approaching thatconversation with, like, Well,
but you've been medicallymanaged, and who knows, like,
(35:16):
the trauma of of unexpectedlyhaving your baby at home and
however that was handled with,you know, firefighters or
whatever your doctor did, blah,blah, blah, right?
But that truly was just herthing.
She lost a lot of blood quicklythan would sort itself out and
was her body was very efficient,you know, moving forward, didn't
(35:38):
bleed a lot postpartum and allof that, but it definitely, she
continued the trend and we werelike, Oh, this is, This is what
your body does.
It's not, it's not just becauseof poorly managed care, which it
can be of course, but that was agood learning experience for me
to, to just take things at facevalue and be open and we weren't
(36:00):
expecting it because she hadshared it with us.
We weren't stupid about it, butI also was thinking well let's
just see, let's just see if wecan smooth that out with our
With our wonderful approach.
Which oftentimes we can ofcourse, but yeah, that's just
what she did.
She passed out when she got upto go to the bathroom.
She told us she was feelingdizzy.
It's like she got up and she waslike, I know this is gonna
(36:23):
happen.
And her husband was like, yep,I'm ready for it.
There was like no concern orfear for them whatsoever.
It was just like, okay, well,she really needed to pee.
She wanted to get up.
and This is what happened andher husband got her.
into the bed pretty quicklyafter that.
Yeah, he picked her up from thebathroom floor and carried her
(36:46):
to her bed, which is, that's a,that's a big ask for somebody
who is basically like deadweight at that point, right?
Yes.
And like, I know the idea ofwomen passing out is It's scary
or concerning or whateverbecause it's dramatic, but it's
physiologically not an actualconcern.
(37:06):
Like clinically, that doesn't,that doesn't alarm us.
It just means that like sheneeds to lay down and get blood
to her head, get morecirculation to her, to her head.
That's a mechanism of passingout, right?
It's meant to get you horizontalso blood can flow back into your
head.
You know, women just, they cometo and then you're more careful
about how you move them around.
(37:27):
Yeah.
And she, and she felt prettygood pretty quickly afterwards
too, which was surprising insome ways, but yeah, she was
kind of like back to herselfrelatively quickly, which was
great.
After like a good meal and morecuddles.
Yep.
We charted that we told her tostay in bed for four hours.
That was the magic number.
Yep.
(37:47):
Apparently.
Well, you, you shouldn't get upfor at least four more hours.
In four hours and five minutes.
You may go.
Usually your body just needs tojust kind of like equilibriate,
start building some blood volumeback up, utilize some good
nutrition and hydration, recoverfrom the intensity of the birth
(38:09):
event itself.
Maybe take a little nap.
Yep.
We often will give womeninstructions who are feeling
really woozy or fainty or dizzyor whatever, give them
instructions for peeing in abedpan or, or at the side of
their bed so they don't have togo all the way to their
bathroom.
But it's something we deal withjust periodically.
Yeah, for sure.
And not as, not as dramatic asit may sound.
(38:32):
So we love, love, love thatbirth pause that taught us a lot
about not rushing birth and justgave us some like sweet
perspective.
We got to see that dad in justlike an incredible amount of
emotional and mental andphysical strength, you know,
like it was, like you said,Kelly, it was so cool to
remember him so strong whenlater we saw him so weak in so
(38:54):
many ways and what a beautifulexperience it was for that
family.
Just to have that as a family.
I don't know, like a cherry ontop of their family growing and
to enjoy that before what was tocome.
And I also remember, I justremembered this as we were
talking about it.
(39:15):
So, When a family at our churchhas a new baby, they ask for a
picture, a picture of the baby,a picture of the mom and the
baby, the whole family, whateveryou get to submit it.
And then it's announced, Hey, wehave a new member in our
congregation.
And they put the picture up.
And this mom was so proud of usbeing there with her together.
(39:37):
And we've served a lot offamilies that go to our church,
but this is the only family.
that submitted the picture withus in it.
And so that was just so fun.
We were so proud.
It was, it was really sweet.
And it was the beginning of ourpractice in a lot of ways.
So it felt like, Oh, we're like,we're, we're doing this.
Look at us.
Like, I don't know, for somereason it felt very official.
(40:00):
Like, Oh, we're up there andwe're look at, look at what we
did together.
We did a thing.
Yeah.
And then everyone, you know,came up to us later and was
like, When did you become adoula?
How long have you been a doulafor?
Even people that I feel likeI've known for a while.
I'm like, well, they're So sincebasically since you've known me,
(40:20):
I've been a doula, became amidwife many years ago, student.
What is that?
What's the difference?
I don't understand.
So, I mean we still get that.
All the time.
To people I've explained it tobefore.
Yep.
I'm like, remember last time?
You I told you.
Yeah.
(40:40):
Oh, so great.
Okay, so, I mean, that was my,those were my big takeaways of
like, what an impact this Thatwas for that family and that
they like, they really didn'tneed us.
She did all the things.
She did all the work.
He supported her.
We were just there to kind oflike, I don't know, hold it
together.
It felt good for them to havethe backup plan that they
(41:02):
needed.
But like her blood loss, herpassing out, like she didn't
need any clinical intervention.
She just needed her husband tocarry her back to bed.
They didn't need us to hurry anyof the pieces along.
They didn't need us to say like,okay, everything that's going on
is normal and fine.
I mean, it was just, she neededthat sinus infection protocol.
(41:23):
She got it.
But they, but, but like Berthaset up to work without a skilled
attendant and that's what we getto see most of the time.
And the confidence that thisparticular couple had.
in the process and their choicejust really shown.
They just were, it was, it was avery independent thing for them.
(41:43):
Yeah.
This, this birth in particularjust feels like a milestone in a
lot of different ways, brings upa lot of different emotions for
sure.
And you know, what what is whata journey that they were taken
on after this birth.
But how sweet it was also to seethem parallel some things of,
you know, the process ofsurrendering and trusting this
(42:06):
hard thing in labor, insurrendering and trusting this
hard thing in the end of life aswell.
And, The, the joy that they hadbefore them, the joy that they
knew was coming on the otherside of both of those
experiences was really impactfulas well.
It was awesome.
So you guys have heard us talk alot in this episode about, I
(42:28):
don't know, this more holisticapproach, this more natural
approach, this more like let's,let's go along with what the
body is already doing.
And all of those themes arecentral.
on the midwifery model of careand just loving and respecting
and honoring physiological birthand how our bodies were just set
(42:49):
up to work well on their own andthose topics those themes are a
part of every single video inour childbirth education course
and we are so close so so soactually maybe by the time this
Nope, it's not quite time yet,but soon after, soon after this
(43:13):
podcast comes out, we will bedone creating the content of our
childbirth education course, andthat means that we're going to
be able to finally start thetimeline on opening it up for
evergreen status.
And so if you are interested ingetting more information about
that, seeing more.
(43:33):
about what's inside of thiscourse, recommending it to a
friend or whatever, you can findthat link in our show notes, or
you can just go tobeautifulonemidwifery.
com and you can find all theinformation about the childbirth
education course, about thewaitlist.
Being on the waitlist is abenefit to you.
There are many perks to being onthe waitlist.
(43:56):
We can't say what all of themare because We don't know every
single perk, but there's, butyou will benefit from being on
it monetarily, informatively,informationally, and
informatively.
And you just, you just will getmore out of waiting for this
(44:17):
course if you're on the waitlist.
So put yourself on the wait listjust to get more information,
just to get the perks of beingon there.
And.
Keep your ears up in the nextfew weeks for us actually
launching this thing becausewe're getting down to it.
Yeah, we're getting very closeand the feedback that we're
getting from our live kind oflaunch group that we did this
(44:39):
with has been overwhelminglypositive and we've been able to
implement more information andall kinds of stuff over the
course of the last few weeks.
So we're very, very excited toget this into your hands.
So that is coming.
super soon.
And we will catch you next week.
Welcome to At Home with Kellyand Tiffany, where naturally
minded women gather together aswe pursue simplicity and
confidence in healthalternatives, so we can show up
better in our busy lives andfeel more at home in our bodies.
Join your favorite home birthmidwife duo for conversation,
candor, and community.
Welcome back to At Home withKelly and Tiffany.
(00:21):
I'm Tiffany.
I'm Kelly.
And man, oh man, we arerecording this in the middle of
summer.
Mm hmm.
It's hot.
It's hot, but my brain is juston summertime.
It's been a joy to allow mybrain to be in the summertime.
It's such a sweet season for usin particular because we're not
(00:44):
on call this summer.
We had our last birth at thebeginning of June and I was, I
was just thinking like, welllast summer felt kind of light
too because we were you know, wehad such a Such a low volume of
clients, but weren't we on calllast summer?
(01:04):
I think we were actually nowthat I'm thinking about it
because I remember talking aboutTrying to plan something getting
away and we had to wait for acertain amount of time or
something I can't rememberexactly but the summer before
that the summer before that thesummer before that We always had
a huge group of births in likeJuly or August or something.
(01:26):
And so we haven't been off, wehaven't been like really off,
off call in summertime in awhile.
And so it's, it's so nice to notbe attached to my phone, to plan
little trips and know thatthey're not going to get
interrupted, to just go to thebeach that doesn't have cell
service and just enjoy sittingthere.
That's one of my favoritethings.
(01:47):
And I'll be like, well, I canjust leave my phone in my car or
at home wherever.
It's wonderful.
Oh, it's so good.
Yeah, it feels, it feels reallygood.
And I actually am truly enjoyingsummer.
And this is the first summer inI don't know how many years that
we are actually, like, planninga few things as a family to get
out of town.
Even just for like a coupledays.
(02:07):
I'm really excited.
It feels like a new version ofmyself.
I'm like, look at me! planningthings.
Yeah, I told my husband theother day, like, we need to have
two trips loaded at all times.
And we're about to go onvacation next week.
So I'm like, Oh no, we only haveone.
We only have one trip.
No, I need to plan one more inthe next week.
(02:29):
Just to have it loaded.
Hurry up.
Okay.
I am so excited to share thisparticular birth story.
It is it, this, this birth was abig deal and we will get into
why that was.
But first I want to share areview and this review is so
sweet.
It just, you know, we just go inchronological order.
(02:51):
to try to keep track of who'sleft reviews and when we share
them and stuff.
And this one came up for thisepisode, which is so cool.
She's talking all about how muchshe loves the birth story thing
that we've been doing.
I'm so thankful to hear that toobecause it's one of my favorite
things that we've done on thispodcast.
I'm really glad that we're doingit.
It's like, it's cathartic for mein some way too.
(03:12):
It's sweet.
Okay, so this is what SharpieKundi says.
Sharpie Kundi?
Sharpie.
Shar pie coon die.
Okay, I like it.
She knows who she is out there.
She 100 percent knows who sheis.
You tell us that you heard usread your review, and we'll buy
you a drink.
Five star review, titled, Lovethe Birth Stories.
(03:36):
I've been listening, oh, I havebeen loving listening to Callie
and Tiffany's birth stories froma midwife's perspective.
Birth stories have been soeducational and inspiring to
listen to during this pregnancy,and I love their unique
viewpoint.
It's a fun listen for those wholike a cross between an
educational and a girl talklisten.
(03:56):
Thanks for what you do, ladies.
I love it.
I'm so glad it's landing.
Yes, exactly.
And it's just, it's cool to seeour vision for it actually
hitting people.
the way that we anticipated,right?
Because I do think it is cool tobe able to share some of these
experiences that we have hadclinically.
(04:17):
Oftentimes when we hear birthstories it's moms telling their
own birth story, which is goodand important, but there's this
piece also that we get to dothat's sharing pieces but also
sprinkling in some midwiferycare clinical aspects of it,
which is cool.
It's very cool.
Okay, so you guys have heard ustalk about We Heart Nutrition,
(04:41):
and we absolutely love thissupplement company.
You get on their website,weheartnutrition.
com, and it's like easy to seewhy they are our favorite
supplement company to recommend.
But I want to do a littlehighlight on omegas, and just
different ways that we're usingomegas in our own home, and the
(05:02):
benefits of omega on skin healthspecifically.
I think I've always understoodhow it plays a role in anti
inflammation, but I don't thinkI fully understood how essential
amino acids are a part of thebuilding block of our skin's
function, but also especiallythe barrier.
(05:26):
So, your skin's barrier is whatkind of essentially like
protects your entire body.
Your skin is your largest organ.
And so, your skin barrier keepsinfection out and keeps invaders
and keeps allergens out and youknow allows good things to come
(05:46):
in so taking it internally isjust helping with all of those
pieces but we've also been usingomega topically and you guys
heard me share a few episodesago about one of my kiddos just
navigating like skincare optionsand different clean beauty
things and You know, etc, etc.
(06:08):
It's been a saga, right?
And one of the things that we'redoing to rehab the skin and to
enforce that good barrier of theskin is Applying these omega
capsules like directly on theskin and it's been a game
changer That's been Actuallysoup so you just like prick it a
(06:28):
little bit and get the oil outand does she Leave it on her
skin.
Does she like oil cleanse withit or okay.
She just leaves it Yeah, so it'sjust a part of the skincare
routine.
We have like a little Like alittle, I don't know, pin.
That she also just like leavesin it to keep it plugged up.
Okay, she doesn't use an entirecapsule.
No, maybe like a whole capsulewill last her like a week or
(06:49):
something.
Oh, cool.
Yeah, so she just takes a littlebit out, puts it on after she
washes her face.
And it works really well on herlips where she's using it
specifically because it's okayto have like this glossy thing
on there already, right?
That looks normal.
But you can put it on any otherplace on your body, any other
skin problem areas, and it'sdirectly related to helping
(07:13):
build that skin barrier back upand keep you from having, you
know, sun damage or different,different weather things or
different things that go on yourskin, any problem areas, eczema,
rashes even just like acne oranything that like kind of
interrupts the integrity of theskin.
(07:34):
It helps to build all that stuffback up.
So there's a little hot tip foryou.
That is super fascinating.
I'm going to share a one offthing that we've been taking
this puppy that we adopted from.
Tiffany's home to puppy trainingclass and it's with this trainer
who is Obviously obsessed withher animals like makes her dogs
(07:57):
food from scratch kind of stuffWhich more power to you that is
not a hundred percent not me Butanyway, she was like, oh and
then you need to make sure thatyou're supplementing your dogs
And she's talking literally asif, like, they were humans.
She's like, the probiotics, oh,and the prebiotics, and like,
this type of food, and you know,they're just like people and
what they need, yadda yadda.
She was like, you absolutelyneed to be supplementing with
(08:20):
omegas for your dog because oftheir skin health and whatever.
And I was like, this is justreally funny to me that I'm
sitting here listening to advicethat I often give to humans be
given to dogs.
Anyway.
Yeah.
I would love to talk to that dogtrainer.
Do you still have sessions leftwith the dog trainer?
I have one more session left.
(08:40):
Okay.
So you can show up to that andyou can say, I was really
digesting all the informationyou said about supplementation
for dogs.
And I was just wondering, whatdo you, how do you supplement
yourself?
That's a question I would reallylike the answer to, just given
the information I have on therest of her life.
I mean, she probably takesbetter care of her dogs than
(09:02):
herself.
I would guarantee it.
I love animals.
I don't know, that's a strongstatement.
I tolerate animals and we keepcollecting more and more of
them.
I see the value that they bringto family, life, companionship,
etc.
However, I get really irritatedwhen people make animals more
(09:25):
important than humans.
In any way.
Yeah, like elevating theirexperience over a human's
experience in some way.
Yes.
Yes, 100%.
Okay, just real quick, just toemphasize this, and so that
people stop following us wholove, love pets more than
people.
Can you share that thing thatthat guy said at the baby shower
(09:46):
you were at last month?
About how they're very preparedfor parenting.
So one of my husband's bestfriends from high school is
having his first baby.
So on the like older end ofthings, right, we have a
teenager already and he's likejust entering into parenthood.
And so we're talking about likethe shift that's going to happen
in life and whatever.
And he said non ironically thatthey've had this dog for the
(10:11):
last few years that they havereally loved, that they have
incorporated into their family,that they take to swi they take
them to swim lessons for thisdog.
They do all of these things.
So they are fully prepared forparenting because they've been
parenting for so many years intheir view, this dog.
(10:31):
And Trevor and I both looked ateach other and it was like hard
not to laugh, but also we werelike, That's, that's
interesting.
This is going to be realdifferent.
And I know you don't understandthat yet, but it's going to be
so different.
I'm sorry.
Bless it.
Yep.
I also I also used to tell mydoula clients all the time who
(10:52):
really loved their, usually dog,right?
Love, love, love this dog.
And it's the most importantthing to them.
And maybe that's a part of whythey want to labor at home as
long as possible or to have ahome because.
then they don't have to leavetheir pet behind.
So sweet.
But I used to tell doula clientsall the time, like, okay, so
(11:14):
just prepare yourself for reallydegrading this animal to the
lowest possible level in yourhome and family, because
suddenly in perspective withyour newborn.
Your dog is, there's no possibleway it can maintain the level of
(11:35):
importance that it is in yourlife right now.
And just, just, I'm plantingthat seed so it doesn't
completely take you by surpriseand you feel like the worst
animal owner on the planet.
Because now your dog sleepsoutside and you Basically kick
it to the side because it's inthe way and you are so irritated
(11:57):
that it requires any amount ofcare and affection for you.
Not everybody feels that way.
So, so I stopped telling mydoula clients that because it
really upset them and made themangry at me.
And they're like, you don'tunderstand my love for my pet.
This is different.
And I'm like, oh, this isn'thelping you actually.
This is mostly just making youhate me and you haven't even had
(12:20):
your baby yet.
So.
Perfect.
We'll not continue with thatadvice.
But put that in your backpocket.
Whoo, animals and babies.
That is a radical combination.
Radical.
There we go.
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Okay.
Today we're sharing a birthstory about a planned home
birth.
That happened after anunplanned, unassisted birth, and
(13:06):
that basically means I thinktheir first baby they had in the
hospital, their second baby theymeant to have in the hospital
but it came so quickly they hadit at home accidentally, and
then their third baby they hiredus and we got to attend the
birth of their baby at home, andit was planned.
And this happens quite often,actually, I mean.
(13:30):
We've taken care of a handful ofpeople who were like, I would
never have home birth on myradar.
No, thank you.
But then when you just do it athome on accident, you're like,
Oh, well, this would have beenbetter if I had stuff planned or
like somebody here with me, thatkind of thing.
Yeah.
Instead of like calling 9 1 1and having a bunch of firemen
(13:50):
who probably didn't want to bein there walking in, you know,
all that kind of stuff.
Yep.
So it was really fun to takecare of this particular family
and it was like really funnyactually because this, we knew
this family, they'd go to churchwith us and they, they hired us
basically just based off ofpracticality.
(14:12):
Yeah.
Right?
Yes.
A hundred percent.
And then during the prenatalcare, You know, we were, it was
in the beginning of ourpractice, of course we're going
in chronological order on this.
So this was like, I don't know,maybe like our fifth or sixth
birth or something.
Mm-Hmm.
And we're just very enthusiasticabout all the things that we're
doing in our practice andeverything's fun and brand new,
(14:33):
and we're just bringing so muchvalue into our prenatal time.
And this particular mom waslike.
Okay, well, I'd really just liketo keep our appointments to like
10 or 15 minutes.
So if there's not anything elsethat I have to know about.
I'll see you around.
Yeah.
Yeah, like she was just reallyready to go.
Not because she didn't want to.
(14:56):
To spend time with us or notbecause she didn't she just
truly did not need it She didn'tshe did not need the extra the
extra all the things and I justkept waiting for her to come
around the whole prenatal timeto be like Oh, no, she's gonna
see She's gonna see how themidwifery care is just adding so
much more to the experience andI'll share this a bit more after
(15:17):
we share the birth story itself.
But one of my takeaways Withthis taking care of this family
was You That they really didn'tneed us.
Yeah, and like what a, what agift that actually is.
Like one of the sweet thingsthat midwifery care is that we
get to establish relationshipand all of that, but that had
also happened.
outside of the, you know, theprenatal room, right?
(15:39):
Like we had this relationshipelsewhere.
But it was really sweet to seefor real that they were like,
no, we're actually just kind ofgood.
Like we're, I trust my body.
I know what it's doing.
I know the decisions I'm goingto make.
I know the options that are outthere for me.
And so, yeah, it was just, itwas cool to witness.
I will say though, I rememberspecifically.
She had a sinus infection atsome point in her pregnancy and
(16:03):
we sent her a very thorough,like, holistic sinus infection
protocol.
And that, she was like, Oh, youguys helped me with something!
And she was very thankful forthat.
And I remember being like, Okay,yes, this is meaningful.
This has nothing to do with yourpregnancy or having your baby.
But it, it like, solidified, Ithink, in her mind.
(16:25):
Like, Oh, yes.
This is a very helpfulexperience.
Yeah, she said, I think of thisevery single time I send this
protocol to somebody else,right?
She said, It worked immediately.
I sent it to everyone in myfamily.
Let's go.
And I was like, yes, I was, Iwas like, we have, we have
established value.
Yeah, we've done it.
(16:46):
We've established value for thisclient.
So, you know, it just takes allkinds, right?
I mean, is there a home birthtype?
I don't know.
There's definitely, there'sdefinitely like the majority of
the people we take care of tendto fall into a specific category
that are looking for a certainkind of experience and really
want as much as everything thatwe can offer.
(17:08):
This particular family was like,I'm good.
I trust you.
I trust my body to show up.
Okay.
And that's exactly what we did.
We just showed up and I knowthat she had a love and
affection for us.
Because she shared that manytimes, but she also dubbed us
(17:29):
with the nickname of wives.
It's like, these are my wives.
These are my wives.
She took the mid right off andjust went in with, these are my
wives.
I still see her every so oftenbecause our This daughter and my
youngest are, you know, about ayear or so apart.
So there's like sort of insimilar groupings and certain
(17:49):
classes and things like that andShe'll always be like, hey wife
Like, oh, yeah, she just decidedthat's who we were to her.
Very very sweet.
Okay.
There is a really heavy piece oftaking care of this family and
why it's, why it ended up beingso impactful and important to
(18:11):
us.
And that was because about ayear after this birth, the dad
was diagnosed with a reallyaggressive form of stomach
cancer and he only lived formaybe nine months after that.
Yeah, this, I mean, it was, Atthe end of the year that this
(18:33):
baby was born, he started havingsymptoms.
And so, and by he was presentfor her first birthday party,
but passed away soon after that.
Yeah.
So the mom, I remember hersharing just in her just in her,
I don't know grief.
Yeah.
And processing.
She's like, it was sointeresting how he, you know,
(18:55):
From almost to the day that hewas diagnosed to the day that he
passed away was nine months andher relating that to like a
pregnancy of that experience oflike preparing for and fighting
with and all of those, all ofthose pieces.
It was like, it was sointeresting how she was drawing
(19:17):
some of those parallels becauseshe had just gone through a
process like that.
And What a tremendous amount oftragedy and heartbreak that that
was for us because we love herand she's in our actual personal
community but even just for ourpractice because you just get so
attached to the families thatyou care for and there's a
(19:41):
moment in this birth that I justwill never ever forget where the
dad He just shined in hisfatherhood, actually multiple
places, but I'll share, I'llshare my favorite memory of how,
how that was.
And we get to, we got to be apart of that.
We got to see him in one of hisbest roles ever as the dutiful
(20:04):
and faithful husband and father.
And like, that's so precious.
that we have that gift of beingable to remember him that way.
That was the most experiencethat we had with him besides
just being in community withhim.
And so special, so hard, andjust also so beautiful in the
same space.
(20:24):
And we got to hold, we got tohold some of those pieces for
this family.
Yeah, and we got to witness himbe this strong, connected,
funny, like all of the thingsabout him that were so vibrant.
We got to really experience somany pieces of that, which is a
huge gift.
And we got to be a part of hisbaby's birth, which like, you
(20:46):
know, she gets to carry thatstory forever of how her dad was
there and, you know, showed upand all of those things as well.
And such like a huge experiencewithin the life of a family that
they got to experience togetherone more time.
Um, is really special.
Yeah, it just mattered.
It mattered so much.
(21:07):
There was also, there was alsolike, on our own, in our own
personal lives, there werereally weird things going on.
Not really weird, but just likewhy, you know, like when things
happen in your life and you'relike, why?
And then it was happening toKelly and I Simultaneously, we
were going through reallydifficult separate things Um,
(21:29):
and we got to this birth.
We set up all of our things.
We assessed vitals andeverything We knew they wanted
more privacy So we stepped outof their labor space and we It's
in the middle of the night andwe just sat there and looked at
each other, processing what washappening in our personal lives
also.
And I'm sure we shared this atsome point on the podcast
(21:52):
somewhere, but like we didn'tstart out as best friends.
We just started out as like,like compatible Partners that
had like a lot of ideas and likehopes and dreams and like let's
just go run with that togetherand see what happens.
And like enjoyed each other.
We're friends.
Friendly.
We're friendly.
(22:13):
Yeah.
Not nearly to the depth wherelife kind of has taken us.
Yes, but I will say that thisbirth and what was going on in
our lives at the time was thefulcrum of, you know, You are
going to be my best friend forthe rest of my life.
Don't ever try to untangle fromthat because we are just in it.
Like God was so strategic andsweet and generous with allowing
(22:39):
these things to be happeningsimultaneously.
I'll never forget just sittingand processing at that birth of
like, yeah, wow.
So there, yeah, wow.
There's just a lot.
A lot going on every everywhereand then being called back into
the birth and like, yep, this isit.
It's, there's some really goodthings, there's some hard
(23:02):
things, there's some, someeverything.
So remembering this birth, Iguess all this to say,
remembering this birth is, feelsso big because it brings us back
to that time that was just,there's, there's so many pieces,
their family, our family, ourbusiness.
Our everything, our friendship,there's just so much packed into
(23:24):
this, this time.
I remember she, she, after shehad her baby and her baby was
finally like on her chest, Iremember crying and just being
like, Oh, I just needed, Ineeded that.
I needed something beautiful.
I needed something likeredeeming.
I needed to see it happen.
I needed to do it with you.
Like there were so many pieces,again, that was just this story
(23:46):
as I saw it on the.
Schedule of us recording.
I was like, Oh, that's, that'sgoing to be a, a beautiful,
heavy one.
Beautiful and heavy.
Yeah, absolutely.
Okay.
And these clients had no idea atthat time that our personal
lives were an absolute disaster.
Nope.
No, we, we remainedprofessional.
I think none of our clients knewunless they were particularly.
(24:11):
really close to us or something,but not, yeah, we played that
one close to the chest with ourclients in particular.
Cause it's not about us, right?
Yes.
We need to show up and justserve.
And sometimes that's really hardto do.
And that includes like, Leavingyour children behind and
scrambling to just depart fromwhat's happening in your home
(24:32):
and, oh my gosh.
Yeah.
And we did it, and I don't evenknow how.
I seriously don't.
It was like so crazy.
Okay, so, this baby so thisbirth is four and a half years
ago.
I know, so nuts.
Her water broke at, in theevening, around 7 o'clock.
And she started havingcontractions a couple of hours
(24:53):
later.
And then we charted that heractive labor started around 10
p.
m.
By the time we arrived, so Iimagine her active labor
started, she's like, okay thisis really happening and getting
pretty intense.
I should probably ask mymidwives to come.
And then we didn't arrive to heruntil a little bit after
midnight.
(25:14):
And I remember parking andwalking into their house because
they had just huge pots of mums.
It was in the fall, and justhuge pots of mums at their
doorstep, but it was like,Everything was dark.
It was the middle of the night,but it felt very fall.
It was like very crisp and,Mm-Hmm.
and so sweet.
And I remember specifically atthe home visit, him being very
(25:36):
proud of the flowers outside.
They were like his flowers.
The dad's.
That's right.
We were making, we were makingfun of him for being the
gardener.
Yeah.
And the family.
Yes.
Oh, you're flowers.
Oh, they're so nice.
Oh, that's so cute.
You're pretty little flowers,Yeah.
We just bring compassion intoevery moment.
Ev every moment.
Okay.
So when we arrive.
She's already sort of, herbreath is catching at the peak
(26:00):
of the contraction.
She's already starting to, alittle bit.
And so we're like, oh yeah, wegot here at the right time for
sure.
She's moaning through thesecontractions already.
She's working pretty hard.
and she starts to bear down alittle bit about 25 minutes
after we arrive.
So those little catches turninto more pressure that her
(26:20):
body's responding to.
And at 12 38 a.
m is when we marked that she wasactually pushing.
And she's like, I think I haveto poop.
She gets up to go to thebathroom.
She only pees, because there'sno poopoo, it's just baby.
And then she labored mostly inher bed, and then ended up back
(26:40):
there after trying to poop.
And that's where she just kindof stayed in her bed.
They had a, they had a tub intheir, in their bathroom, and
she was uninterested.
I remember her saying like, Idon't, I don't care about being
in the water.
Nope.
I don't think she ever plannedto.
Yeah.
Which I think is like a helpfulthing for people to hear too,
like you don't have to be in thewater just because you're having
(27:01):
your baby at home.
Yeah.
I mean, and I think like thefirst couple of years of our
practice, like only 20 percentof our clients had babies in the
water.
And I was like, Oh, we've got totell people that because I think
people think like automaticallywater birth, home birth go hand
in hand.
I'm having a home birth.
It is better for me.
It's better for baby if I have.
(27:21):
My baby in the water.
We have a, we have an episodeabout water birth somewhere.
Yeah, where we talk about that.
In the mix, where we talk allabout that and your options and
stuff for that.
You guys can go back and lookfor that episode.
So then she's pushing really,really hard.
And she's working for about 20minutes.
So I think sometimes we alsoportray that like, Oh, third
baby is just going to fall out.
(27:43):
Or your second baby you justaccidentally had at home.
So it must've just.
He must have sneezed and it justfell out.
But third, third baby and shehas had that type of pressure
the whole time we're there forabout an hour and half of that
time she's working really,really hard every single
contraction pushing, pushing,pushing.
(28:04):
And so finally at just a coupleminutes before 1 a.
m.
the head emerges and then 30seconds later the rest of her
Baby comes, but this is the partthat I love the most.
Yep, I, I still have not seenanything quite like it.
Okay, tell the, tell thelisteners.
(28:24):
Okay, so baby, okay, so mom'sworking very, very hard, right?
Pushes her baby out.
We often see in videos or hearin stories, right?
Like, mom reaches down, bringsbaby up to her.
Somebody helps bring babystraight up to her.
And you get that joyous momentof my relief and my joy and all
of those things.
(28:45):
What we don't often hear,though, is sometimes, sometimes
you need a second, right, beforeyou actually can say, like,
okay, I can breathe out whatjust happened and I can breathe
in what is ahead of me, right?
And so we call that the birthpause, where baby comes out and
we just sort of, like, waituntil mom is ready to do
whatever she instinctually wantsto do with her So her husband
(29:08):
catches her baby and we sit andassume that baby will be brought
up to mom, but she's like, no,no, no, give me a second.
And so she's so, so he's holdingthis baby in his hands in
between her legs.
Yes.
Right down in between her legswhile she is, you know, kind of
(29:28):
just breathing and being like,wow.
And looking around taking sipsof water, putting her water, you
know, bottle back down.
chatting a little bit.
She like, she doesn't barelyeven look at her baby yet.
And we are all just anxiouslyawaiting for this next step of
like union between the mom andthe baby.
(29:49):
And I'm certain we charted howlong it was, but it, it felt
like at, at least like a coupleminutes.
It was two minutes.
Which might not sound like long,but that's long when you are
watching a baby.
After they're just born anddad's hands just hovering and
(30:11):
I'm like, you must be, that'slike a lot of time under
tension.
Your arms must be tired at thispoint.
Right.
It was, it was just reallyfascinating until she was ready
and said like, okay, I can havemy baby now.
A solid two minutes of just noteven necessarily the joyous.
Oh my gosh, my baby's here.
It wasn't that really at all.
It was just like a, okay, thatwas.
That was a lot more work than Ianticipated and kind of like
(30:33):
working that out in her body andmind.
It's interesting.
It was so good.
It was so good for us to just belike, this is fine.
I'm sure you'll grab your babyeventually.
And she was like transitioningwell and you know, breathing and
pinking up and well flexed, allthose things.
So there's no concern about thebaby.
But at one point I wanted, I wasalmost like, do you want to put
(30:54):
her down?
Like, You're holding her for solong.
You could just set her down fora minute and then we'll get back
to this when she's ready.
Yeah and so it's just good forus to to recognize some of those
pieces and see that like It's,it's not this, we're not in a
rush for that part.
It's coming and it's okay forjust for one phase to just fully
(31:20):
have completion and rest beforetransitioning to the next thing.
And I think sometimes we're justreally rushing along in all
things in life, but especiallybirth.
We're just like, okay, here, nowget your baby to cry.
Now get your baby on the breast.
Now get your blah, blah, blah.
Okay.
Okay.
Move, move, move.
And.
It's not needed.
There's a different pace thereand we get to follow that lead
(31:42):
when we're really goodattendants.
We get to follow the lead of thepace that's already being set.
Yeah, and that, that really wasa good reminder because I think,
I think maybe there's like anassumption that moving along in
things is like better, right?
Like, okay, we're done with thatpart.
Let's, Let's like, get on to thenext thing, but when we like
(32:02):
actually practice what we preachand slowing things down and
trusting physiology andtrusting, like, and respecting
what parents want and the baby'stransition and all of that,
like, clearly it was exactlywhat she needed and she was able
to control that and we didn'thave to push anything on her
that she wasn't it.
And she was so connected andbonded with her baby when she
(32:24):
was ready to do it.
She was like, oohing and aahingand all of, you know, all of the
things, so happy to have herbaby.
But she really did need a secondto I don't know, kind of
formulate in her brain, I'm donewith that, and potentially that
was harder than what sheanticipated walking into.
Yeah.
Potentially.
Yeah.
(32:44):
And the first thing we chartedthat she said was, well, that
really hurt.
That's the first thing she saidafter her baby was born.
When she was like, you know, inthe room again.
Makes sense.
Yeah.
So, I mean, it was relativelyquick.
She had her baby five hoursafter her water broke.
And only three hours aftercontractions actually started,
(33:07):
she got us there on time, it waspretty smooth.
And that's a helpful thing too,I think, to pull apart as well.
Her water broke at the beginningof her labor without any other,
like, real signs necessarily,and contractions didn't start
till a little while after.
There was no concern on ourpart.
We're like, your baby's moving,you have no concerns.
(33:29):
we'll just see what happens.
And I think we probably justtold her like, hey, if we don't
hear from you tonight, we'lljust check in in the morning and
see how things are going.
That was the extent of, youknow, our kind of guidance on
that unless she was concernedabout something.
Right.
And so that's not what alwayswomen envision or think or are
told by care providers as well.
(33:51):
Yeah.
We didn't say like, well, youshould probably come get some
antibiotics and let's startdoing some vaginal exams as a
comparison of care models.
Yeah.
And then her placenta came outabout 13 minutes after the
birth.
I just like to note that timebecause there's such a huge
variety of timing.
(34:13):
Placentas can come out fiveminutes after the birth, but
usually not.
Usually when we take aphysiological perspective with
third stage, it's 15 to 30minutes is average, probably
closer to 30 minutes.
So the way that placentas comeout in the hospital at 5 10
minutes is a differentmanagement.
(34:34):
That's different management.
Mm-Hmm.
That's a forceful management.
Yeah, for sure.
Of placenta.
But she did lose a considerableamount of blood.
We charted 825 milliliters,which we would say like 500
begins like a significant volumeof blood loss.
And she lost a few more, a fewmore milliliters than that.
(34:55):
And she also told us in herprenatal time.
That she passes out every singlepostpartum, and she loses a lot
of blood and she passes out.
And I remember approaching thatconversation with, like, Well,
but you've been medicallymanaged, and who knows, like,
(35:16):
the trauma of of unexpectedlyhaving your baby at home and
however that was handled with,you know, firefighters or
whatever your doctor did, blah,blah, blah, right?
But that truly was just herthing.
She lost a lot of blood quicklythan would sort itself out and
was her body was very efficient,you know, moving forward, didn't
(35:38):
bleed a lot postpartum and allof that, but it definitely, she
continued the trend and we werelike, Oh, this is, This is what
your body does.
It's not, it's not just becauseof poorly managed care, which it
can be of course, but that was agood learning experience for me
to, to just take things at facevalue and be open and we weren't
(36:00):
expecting it because she hadshared it with us.
We weren't stupid about it, butI also was thinking well let's
just see, let's just see if wecan smooth that out with our
With our wonderful approach.
Which oftentimes we can ofcourse, but yeah, that's just
what she did.
She passed out when she got upto go to the bathroom.
She told us she was feelingdizzy.
It's like she got up and she waslike, I know this is gonna
(36:23):
happen.
And her husband was like, yep,I'm ready for it.
There was like no concern orfear for them whatsoever.
It was just like, okay, well,she really needed to pee.
She wanted to get up.
and This is what happened andher husband got her.
into the bed pretty quicklyafter that.
Yeah, he picked her up from thebathroom floor and carried her
(36:46):
to her bed, which is, that's a,that's a big ask for somebody
who is basically like deadweight at that point, right?
Yes.
And like, I know the idea ofwomen passing out is It's scary
or concerning or whateverbecause it's dramatic, but it's
physiologically not an actualconcern.
(37:06):
Like clinically, that doesn't,that doesn't alarm us.
It just means that like sheneeds to lay down and get blood
to her head, get morecirculation to her, to her head.
That's a mechanism of passingout, right?
It's meant to get you horizontalso blood can flow back into your
head.
You know, women just, they cometo and then you're more careful
about how you move them around.
(37:27):
Yeah.
And she, and she felt prettygood pretty quickly afterwards
too, which was surprising insome ways, but yeah, she was
kind of like back to herselfrelatively quickly, which was
great.
After like a good meal and morecuddles.
Yep.
We charted that we told her tostay in bed for four hours.
That was the magic number.
Yep.
(37:47):
Apparently.
Well, you, you shouldn't get upfor at least four more hours.
In four hours and five minutes.
You may go.
Usually your body just needs tojust kind of like equilibriate,
start building some blood volumeback up, utilize some good
nutrition and hydration, recoverfrom the intensity of the birth
(38:09):
event itself.
Maybe take a little nap.
Yep.
We often will give womeninstructions who are feeling
really woozy or fainty or dizzyor whatever, give them
instructions for peeing in abedpan or, or at the side of
their bed so they don't have togo all the way to their
bathroom.
But it's something we deal withjust periodically.
Yeah, for sure.
And not as, not as dramatic asit may sound.
(38:32):
So we love, love, love thatbirth pause that taught us a lot
about not rushing birth and justgave us some like sweet
perspective.
We got to see that dad in justlike an incredible amount of
emotional and mental andphysical strength, you know,
like it was, like you said,Kelly, it was so cool to
remember him so strong whenlater we saw him so weak in so
(38:54):
many ways and what a beautifulexperience it was for that
family.
Just to have that as a family.
I don't know, like a cherry ontop of their family growing and
to enjoy that before what was tocome.
And I also remember, I justremembered this as we were
talking about it.
(39:15):
So, When a family at our churchhas a new baby, they ask for a
picture, a picture of the baby,a picture of the mom and the
baby, the whole family, whateveryou get to submit it.
And then it's announced, Hey, wehave a new member in our
congregation.
And they put the picture up.
And this mom was so proud of usbeing there with her together.
(39:37):
And we've served a lot offamilies that go to our church,
but this is the only family.
that submitted the picture withus in it.
And so that was just so fun.
We were so proud.
It was, it was really sweet.
And it was the beginning of ourpractice in a lot of ways.
So it felt like, Oh, we're like,we're, we're doing this.
Look at us.
Like, I don't know, for somereason it felt very official.
(40:00):
Like, Oh, we're up there andwe're look at, look at what we
did together.
We did a thing.
Yeah.
And then everyone, you know,came up to us later and was
like, When did you become adoula?
How long have you been a doulafor?
Even people that I feel likeI've known for a while.
I'm like, well, they're So sincebasically since you've known me,
(40:20):
I've been a doula, became amidwife many years ago, student.
What is that?
What's the difference?
I don't understand.
So, I mean we still get that.
All the time.
To people I've explained it tobefore.
Yep.
I'm like, remember last time?
You I told you.
Yeah.
(40:40):
Oh, so great.
Okay, so, I mean, that was my,those were my big takeaways of
like, what an impact this Thatwas for that family and that
they like, they really didn'tneed us.
She did all the things.
She did all the work.
He supported her.
We were just there to kind oflike, I don't know, hold it
together.
It felt good for them to havethe backup plan that they
(41:02):
needed.
But like her blood loss, herpassing out, like she didn't
need any clinical intervention.
She just needed her husband tocarry her back to bed.
They didn't need us to hurry anyof the pieces along.
They didn't need us to say like,okay, everything that's going on
is normal and fine.
I mean, it was just, she neededthat sinus infection protocol.
(41:23):
She got it.
But they, but, but like Berthaset up to work without a skilled
attendant and that's what we getto see most of the time.
And the confidence that thisparticular couple had.
in the process and their choicejust really shown.
They just were, it was, it was avery independent thing for them.
(41:43):
Yeah.
This, this birth in particularjust feels like a milestone in a
lot of different ways, brings upa lot of different emotions for
sure.
And you know, what what is whata journey that they were taken
on after this birth.
But how sweet it was also to seethem parallel some things of,
you know, the process ofsurrendering and trusting this
(42:06):
hard thing in labor, insurrendering and trusting this
hard thing in the end of life aswell.
And, The, the joy that they hadbefore them, the joy that they
knew was coming on the otherside of both of those
experiences was really impactfulas well.
It was awesome.
So you guys have heard us talk alot in this episode about, I
(42:28):
don't know, this more holisticapproach, this more natural
approach, this more like let's,let's go along with what the
body is already doing.
And all of those themes arecentral.
on the midwifery model of careand just loving and respecting
and honoring physiological birthand how our bodies were just set
(42:49):
up to work well on their own andthose topics those themes are a
part of every single video inour childbirth education course
and we are so close so so soactually maybe by the time this
Nope, it's not quite time yet,but soon after, soon after this
(43:13):
podcast comes out, we will bedone creating the content of our
childbirth education course, andthat means that we're going to
be able to finally start thetimeline on opening it up for
evergreen status.
And so if you are interested ingetting more information about
that, seeing more.
(43:33):
about what's inside of thiscourse, recommending it to a
friend or whatever, you can findthat link in our show notes, or
you can just go tobeautifulonemidwifery.
com and you can find all theinformation about the childbirth
education course, about thewaitlist.
Being on the waitlist is abenefit to you.
There are many perks to being onthe waitlist.
(43:56):
We can't say what all of themare because We don't know every
single perk, but there's, butyou will benefit from being on
it monetarily, informatively,informationally, and
informatively.
And you just, you just will getmore out of waiting for this
(44:17):
course if you're on the waitlist.
So put yourself on the wait listjust to get more information,
just to get the perks of beingon there.
And.
Keep your ears up in the nextfew weeks for us actually
launching this thing becausewe're getting down to it.
Yeah, we're getting very closeand the feedback that we're
getting from our live kind oflaunch group that we did this
(44:39):
with has been overwhelminglypositive and we've been able to
implement more information andall kinds of stuff over the
course of the last few weeks.
So we're very, very excited toget this into your hands.
So that is coming.
super soon.
And we will catch you next week.
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