September 29, 2025 • 48 mins
Your favorite midwife duo answers your questions this week! We chat about everything from living in San Diego, how we manage sleep while being on call, our midwifery practice beginnings, social media growth, and items in our homes you may be surprised we still keep around.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to at Home with Kellyand Tiffany, where we share
powerful tools, excitingeducation, and relatable views
about holistic health,physiological birth, and
thriving in the female body.
We are home birth midwives insunny San Diego.
Passionate about thealternatives that give women
control and confidence inhealth, in birth and in life.
(00:24):
We've poured a lot of love intocreating very in depth and high
value offerings.
A monthly membership, aphysiological birth course, and
holistic guides for the womenwho really want to dive all the
way in.
But this podcast.
We want to bring zero costinformation about health and
natural birth and make theseimportant topics accessible
(00:46):
always.
Your support of the show is alsozero cost and means everything
to us.
When you leave a review, sharean episode and join our
newsletter.
It really helps us keep thisspace open, ad free and full of
honest, valuable conversations.
Now let's dive into today'sshow.
Kelly (01:09):
Welcome back to the at home with Kelly and Tiffany
podcast.
And today we are gettingpersonal.
We have an ask us anythingepisode, which is always a joy
to do with you.
'cause sometimes I'm not alwayssurprised by your answers, but
sometimes I am.
And it's fun also just to like,share different sides of our
lives with people And so it'skind of fun to connect on a
(01:31):
different level.
Tiffany (01:32):
Yeah, I mean like I appreciate the opportunity to
like mix it up a little bittopic wise and I think that
like, I think that we're ratherlike open about just our
experiences as women in ourlives so that we can create
relatability.
And I think that's why, I thinkthat's why we do the pod.
(01:53):
I think that's a part of why wedo the podcast and it's fun
'cause we get to.
Thread some of those piecesthroughout episodes that have
nothing to do with us, but weend up getting so many questions
just about us personally thatI'm like, okay, let's just bust
out an entire episode that isjust about non-professional
(02:14):
pieces.
However, you can't take themidwife out of the lady, let me
tell you.
There's.
So many questions about birthand work and stuff still, so,
we'll, still, it'll still berelevant.
We're not gonna, oh, there's alot of things we could talk
about, but to ice break us.
Kelly Pappas.
(02:35):
Tell me if you can, this is,this is one, this is out there,
but I'll tell you the, I'll tellyou the reason later that I was
thinking about this.
Tell us a topic that you knownothing about.
Truly.
You have like, no.
Extra information about thisparticular topic but that you
could totally bs your waythrough a conversation about it.
(03:00):
And you might not be in aconversation with another expert
who would recognize that youdon't actually know what you're
talking about, but you couldwith the average person talk
about this thing just becauseyou, like there's some adjacent
knowledge or something likethat.
Kelly (03:15):
Yes.
I'm just envisioning like beingat a party and getting in that
conversation with somebody andyou're like, what am I doing
here?
Like, who do I know here?
How can I get outta thisconversation?
And so one's kind of hard forme, but I, is somewhat random.
I'm gonna go withcryptocurrency.
So technically it's not that Idon't know anything about it.
(03:37):
I have the most minimal baselineknowledge of like the idea of
what it is my husband enjoysthat, years ago, got into
cryptocurrency and so I, Igenerally have an idea that it
is a thing, but I don'tunderstand it But I have had
(03:58):
people, because my husband for awhile was like talking about it
with like a few friends andtheir wives would be like, oh,
so what is this about?
And I'm like, So, you know,answering their questions, but
I'm like, I don't.
I'm saying right now may not betrue or it has like the general
ethereal idea of it, but if I,you ask me to give you details,
I have no clue whatsoever.
(04:18):
But I think I could actuallycarry on a conversation about
you know, digital currency andalternative coins and all kinds
of weird stuff like that, makesme think we're living in like an
alternate universe because it'sjust a weird.
Weird topic in general, but Ibet you weren't expecting that
to be my answer.
Tiffany (04:39):
I wasn't, but I can't tell you what I was expecting
because even when I was thinkingabout this for myself, so it
did, that is what happened tome.
I was at a party and I got stuckwith somebody who wanted to talk
about something that I knewnothing about, and they didn't
have the social awareness torealize that.
I was not interested in thistopic, but I had, I felt the
(05:00):
social responsibility, and Idon't always feel this way.
Sometimes I'm just like, yeah,sorry, I don't.
Yeah, I'll just change thesubject or whatever.
But for whatever reason, Idecided we were just gonna go
with it, and all it took was mejust asking some questions with
the tiniest bit of understandingthat I thought that I had about
(05:20):
it.
It was sports related.
So of course, like I really donot understand, I do not
actually understand how sportswork, but I have enough people
in my life who have thrown outsome words and terms and stuff
that I can, I can ask questionsthat make it sound like I do
know or I am interested.
(05:41):
And I think I have just enoughreflective listening skills,
probably just from being amidwife that.
I, I think I can go a prettylong time in a conversation just
reflectively listening andadding in some pieces here and
there to like fake my waythrough a conversation with
somebody.
(06:01):
I know it's made that reallymade me think about that.
But I feel like I think peoplewant us to have like a lot of
knowledge about other medicalthings because we're in a
medical field and so I thinkthat that's another example
where I can.
Where I'm like, oh, you think Iunderstand orthopedics?
That's really interesting.
(06:23):
I.
I could just say I haveabsolutely no idea and I, I'm
not interested in talking aboutthis with you.
Or I could just ask somequestions and just think about
the time my friend broke herarm, or when I broke my foot, or
the x-rays my kid got for her.
Kneecap situ, you know, and thenyou just start to pull all these
(06:44):
little pieces where you're like,actually, I, I could, I could
have a conversation about thisright now with a little bit of
what I know, and you clearlywanna talk about that so I can
help string that, string thatalong.
Cryptocurrency, Kelly.
Okay.
Kelly (06:58):
It's a, it's a weird one, but it does, it does kind of
remind me like just that wholethought train of how helpful it
is sometimes like I feel like weget into conversations and we
just wanna talk, right?
Like, or we're like, I wannatalk about this.
And so like, that's what this,that's where this conversation
is going.
And of course, like it's greatto have the back and forth of,
to be with somebody that you'reactually like.
(07:19):
I enjoy you and I know you andwe can go wherever we want with
this conversation, but how sweetit is when you're like building
community or meeting new peopleor whatever, just to be like,
yeah, I don't, I don't, maybe Idon't really connect right off
the bat with you or I don'tunderstand really what you're
talking about, but like I doknow how to ask questions and I
do know how to pull from my ownlife experience to be able to be
(07:39):
like, can we find some kind ofconnection and can I help you
feel seen in this situation too?
And all of that.
So.
Anyway, that was like a goodlittle question reminder for me.
Tiffany (07:50):
Yeah, I'm sure it's relatable.
I don't know.
There seems to be like, I mean,this episode's being recorded.
In the summer still?
I don't know.
I can't remember when it's gonnarelease, but I feel like it's a
more social time.
I feel like there's moreopportunities for socializing
probably this, and then likearound the holidays, there's
just more things going on andyou end up, you end up, I guess,
(08:10):
you know, we could get into awhole thing too about like where
you're at in your cycle as youendeavor into social situations
could potentially guide you inhow you are able to interact and
respond.
Kelly (08:25):
Hundred percent.
Tiffany (08:27):
Okay.
But today we are diving into acouple of personal questions,
Kelly and Tiffany questions.
We,
Kelly (08:35):
We
Tiffany (08:36):
pulled our audience on Instagram and I was, I thought I
was really clear, Hey, we'regonna do an episode.
It's all, you know, ask us thepersonal things, not the
professional things.
I even gave some examples like.
Work life balance, homeschooland family lifestyle things,
right?
Like, just to be really clear,and then people were still
(08:58):
asking us for medical adviceabout their personal medical
things.
Kelly (09:05):
I love, I
Tiffany (09:07):
I was like, no, not not personal question, not your
personal situation.
Kelly (09:14):
So good.
Yeah.
Not personal
Tiffany (09:16):
So.
Kelly (09:16):
about you on our podcast.
Okay, great.
Tiffany (09:19):
If it was just one or two, I'd be like, oh, they
misunderstood, or they don't,they're not paying attention.
But like several people werelike, please talk more about
VBACs.
Please talk more aboutendometriosis.
I'm like, well, I don't haveexperience with either of those
things.
So those are, that's not apersonal question for me or
Kelly.
(09:39):
So the whole idea behind this,this concept of course, is that
we are often answering otherpeople's questions.
We're often providing contextand education and information
for people and what they'regoing through.
And I think, like, I think
Kelly (09:57):
think we
Tiffany (09:58):
we like to show up in per, in a personal way, inside
of.
Different spaces.
And I think Instagram is a greatplace for us to do that, but
it's not always appropriate tobe talking about ourselves
constantly.
So, so Kelly, do not hold back.
This is our chance in thisepisode to make it all about you
all about you.
Kelly (10:19):
this is
Tiffany (10:19):
We wanna be trying to,
Kelly (10:21):
True dream.
My absolute dream in life.
Make
Tiffany (10:23):
it's, it's, I know we, well, you know what?
We probably should have dividedthis into two episodes.
We probably should have done apersonal questions for Kelly,
personal questions for Tiffany,and we'll have to di we'll dive
into that later after this oneruns its course and see, but.
Kelly (10:40):
We,
Tiffany (10:40):
we ha we also got a lot of questions'cause it just comes
up and I did invite the worklife balance concept.
I did invite women to askquestions about that too.
And we talk extensively aboutthose things in a whole series
because we get questions abouthow we became midwives and
midwifery school and how westarted our practice and how we
(11:01):
balance work as a mom or birthworker.
And so you guys can go to theshow notes and.
Capture the link to theseepisodes.
It's 124 to 126, and we'llanswer some of those questions
today because it's just a partof, I mean, that's evolving
that, that we did that seriesmaybe like two years ago or
(11:21):
something, and so potentiallythere's something, you know,
different to share today aboutsome of those things.
So we'll, we'll answer some ofthose, but if you're really
curious about that part of ourlives and us talking about that
extensively, we have thoseepisodes for you guys to.
Jump into but the questions fortoday, I, since it's all about
(11:42):
you, Kelly, all about you, thevery first question that I have
for you is what's your favoritething about working with me?
Kelly (11:50):
It is, it is never really all about me, is it?
No, I'm just kidding.
My favorite thing about workingwith Tiff.
And like generally speakingabout having this partnership
with like, my best friend to beable to do this work, to be able
to live life outside of work togo through life just together,
(12:11):
both professionally andpersonally is like the sweetest
thing for sure.
The work part of it, I will saylike, so when we're at births
and doing the clinical work oreven in, you know prenatal
appointments or somethingtogether.
It's the knowing and the comfortthat I can, we can communicate
just through like a expressionor like a quick meet of the eyes
(12:35):
that I feel like we're able tosay things without having to say
them out loud.
And just that familiarity andthat level of comfort when doing
this kind of work is incrediblebecause we don't have to mess
around.
I mean, sometimes we do, but wedon't have to mess around with
saying a lot or, you know,interfering with what somebody
is doing because we'restruggling to know what the
(12:57):
other person needs or whatever.
There's certainly a time toexplain very clearly what you
need, but a lot of just the, thelife that we do together within
our work is just, feels reallyfamiliar and safe.
And that's just I, I don't thinkI, I wouldn't wanna do this
without that.
Like, I just, I wouldn't.
Tiffany (13:16):
I know after you experience a partnership that
just go like, really, you know,jives Well, I, everything else
would be a compromise.
Like, I would be so hard pressedto do something different.
It would be really difficult forme to be at a birth regularly
with another
Kelly (13:35):
Mm-hmm.
Tiffany (13:36):
And Ha And not just the work of having to relearn
somebody else's.
Thinking patterns and mannerismsand like, you know, decision
making processes and stuff,because that's worth it.
That's worth putting it in, butjust the.
Comfort of knowing youpersonally and having you at my
side Personally, it makes mefeel safe.
(13:58):
It makes me feel covered.
We've had birth before that aregoing so fast and only one of us
arrives, you know, before thebaby's born, and I'm just, every
time you walk in to thatsituation.
I'm instantly relieved.
It's just like, oh, my person'shere.
Even if it's postpartum, even,you know, just like, oh, my
(14:18):
person's here.
But I don't want that todiscourage.
I, I know that some people lookat our relationship and they
see.
How, oh, I could never get that.
What are the chances that Iwould be able to work with
another midwife who I like somuch that I get along with that
I want, that we have, you know,that we're aligned on so many
pieces and I don't want someoneto compare themselves to.
(14:44):
To us and think like, oh, I'llnever be able to have that.
I think it's still worth puttingyourself out there and being
vulnerable in a partnership, andcompromising in a partnership
and serving in a partnership andnot thinking all the time about
everything you have.
Like, oh, if I, if I work withsomebody else like that, then I
(15:05):
have to give up.
This, this, this, and this.
And not look at it so much like,like that, but, but look at it
like, how can you be a part ofthe team?
How can you serve well in that?
And if you both have thatperspective then there's
something like really beautifulthat can come outta that.
But I was just telling somebodyour story.
For the first time, someone thatI'm just getting to know who is
(15:28):
like, oh, tell me more aboutlike your, you know, your work
partner and stuff.
And it's so funny for me to gothrough the story of like, oh,
well we didn't really start outas friends.
And they're like, how is that?
Like how, how have you notalways like been friends from
birth?
You know, like just because ourfriendship is so deep and like
(15:48):
so profound and such a huge partof our lives.
And I just love rememberingthat.
I love remembering that like.
We did not purposeful, we didnot set out to be best friends.
It just was how it, how it went.
And I know that we've sharedthat recently.
How that happened through someof the birth stories that we've
told here over the past fewmonths has been the piece that
(16:12):
like has shaped that being in areally vulnerable situation and
sharing that with somebody else.
It just, how could you not.
Kelly (16:23):
Hmm.
Amen.
Yeah, I think it, it is helpfulto remember too, we will get to
other questions in a moment, butwe came together with a similar
idea of like, can we do thismidwifery thing differently?
Together.
Can we figure out a way to servepeople in a way that feels right
for us and also honors ourfamily and is just not something
that we've been shown throughthe community that we've seen so
(16:46):
far.
What can we do to do somethingdifferently?
And that's really what startedbringing us together is our
desire to be like, okay, I seewhat I see and I don't, I don't
necessarily wanna be a part ofthat.
I wanna do something a littledifferent.
And then it just kind ofsnowballed from there, which is,
which is super sweet.
And again, we have a whole threepart episode where you can go
back and listen to lots of stuffabout.
Partnership and midwifery schooland all of that kind of good
(17:08):
stuff.
Okay, next one is also stillbirth related.
Do you still attend births?
If not, when will you startagain?
That is a common question we aregetting.
Tiffany, I will leave that up toyou.
Tiffany (17:22):
I know that's, that's, people are asking us a lot about
if we're still attending birth,because on our website we have
had our midwifery calendarclosed for.
A couple years now, we have notbeen taking new clients.
We have been working with a verysmall amount of our own repeat
clients for the most part.
Every once in a while there's adifferent circumstance, but we
(17:43):
really are taking it case bycase because we're doing a
really small number of births inthis season where we're
preferring and needing to bemore present with our own
families.
And so balancing that.
Is, I feel like we're constantlybalancing that and we discuss
almost every single potentialthat comes our way where, you
(18:07):
know, if we get inquiries in ouremail, we almost are always
discussing together, Hey,here's.
You know, just checking, makingsure that we're still on the
same page with this.
And that's been really hard,especially to turn away some of
our repeat clients and say, I'msorry, but I've already blocked
this time off to not be on call.
(18:27):
And I would love to serve yourfamily again, and I would love
to be a part of that experienceagain, but I have to put my own
family first.
And if you don't say nosometimes, then you will always
be.
Stretched.
Even when we were, even when wewere, what I would say, like
working full time, doing four tosix births a month, we still had
(18:49):
to say no sometimes to somebody.
And so that's just a part ofthis work is there's just only a
certain amount of capacity thatanyone can have at any certain
time, and it's not the same foreverybody across the board.
So we are still attending burs.
We used to be a lot more.
Open about being, being like weused to talk a lot more about
(19:10):
the clients that we serve.
And we used to talk a lot moreabout the clinical pieces with
our own specific clients onsocial media, and that was a
really fun thing to share.
But now, because we work withsuch a small amount of women, if
we share something in real time,it would be really easy for
mutual people to be able to findout who we're talking about.
(19:33):
And then now they know that it'sjust too much.
It's too easy to violate theirprivacy, and so we can't.
We don't talk very often aboutwho you know about what's going
on with our clients clinically,which is to the detriment of
those who can learn from it.
And we'll try to like continueto fold in those pieces in other
ways too.
But, so I think that that'sanother thing that people are
(19:55):
like, are you even, are youdoing this still?
Are you even still doing this?
I don't know when we're gonnaopen the calendar again.
It might be never, we might notever have our calendar open to
the public.
But that seems, that seems kindof silly to say because things
are changing all the time.
I mean, we, something couldhappen that makes us change our
(20:15):
mind next month and that we feelcalled to serve in a greater
capacity.
Again, I can't imagine it untilmy kids are.
Ha until my kids have more oftheir own life.
Because right now there's somuch that I wanna be present for
every single day, and no matterwhat, if I.
Choose to work, even though thepieces are very flexible, no
(20:39):
matter what, I have to asksomebody else to stand in or for
my kids to do something withoutme, and I'm just not willing, I
guess I'm just not willing to tosacrifice that right now because
they want me and I'm just like,I'm blown away that they want me
around and want me to be a partof these teen years I wasn't
expecting.
It's kind of cool.
Kelly (21:00):
Yeah, I think, I think we both thought, oh, when, when
they're not breastfeedinganymore.
Oh.
When they're easier to just dropoff real quick at, you know,
grandparents' house or whatever,then we will feel like, oh,
we're free to do the, you know,more work or whatever.
And we've just discovered, likeas they get older, the needs,
it's not, it is not less.
In some ways it's more, and in alot of ways it's deeper and.
(21:21):
More, I don't wanna say moremeaningful'cause it's all
meaningful, but just the stakesare just different now and
they're a bit higher, especiallyas they get older and the fact
that there's a desire for moretime together.
I'm like, well in, I'm not gonnalook back on my life and be
like, I wish that I took on moreclients while my kids were still
(21:42):
in my home.
You know?
And so, i'm so thankful we wereon the same page as we decided
to, you know shift around whatwe were, what we were doing,
which is a hard, hard decisionand hard, you know, season to,
to walk through.
But I'm actually really proud ofus too for honoring, you know,
the things that we tell othermoms to do.
Like we were able to extend thatto ourselves and that's, that's
(22:03):
sweet.
Tiffany (22:04):
Yeah, that is, that is probably one of the best things
about working together is.
That we do get to be on the samepage about that.
And that wasn't my expectation.
You know, when I came to you andkind of like initiated this,
like, Hey, I need to step back alittle bit.
I was expecting you to, I was, Iwas anticipating that you were
gonna be like, okay, Iunderstand that.
That's really sad for me, butI'll figure out a way to.
(22:28):
Move forward, you know, in someway.
But instead you were like, yeah,actually I wanted, I wanna step,
I wanna step back too.
I wanna be more present, youknow, with my family too.
And I was like, dang man, did wehit the jackpot or what?
Kelly (22:44):
Hundred
Tiffany (22:44):
Or what?
So another part of thisconversation is like the patient
ratios.
Someone wants to know, like, howdo you, how do you know to
whether you're taking on.
Enough to like make it worth itand without like overextending
yourself.
And there's a, that's a similaranswer, but it's a little
nuanced.
Kelly (23:05):
Yeah, for sure.
And obviously it's gonna bedifferent for different people.
It will kill you if you lookaround and say, well, this
person's able to take on sevenper month.
And they seem like they havetheir life together and you
know, whatever.
How come I'm taking on three andfeeling like I'm underwater?
Right.
Everybody's in a differentseason, different capacity, and
you don't know what is going onbehind the scenes for somebody
(23:26):
else also.
Right.
So trying to sort out, also justlooking at your whole business
goals too, and figuring out howmuch money.
Do I need to make?
How much time do I have to give?
What's the season of life thatI'm in or that my family's in?
And recognizing that that canchange and shift and being able
(23:46):
to, I guess, be humble enoughalso to say like,
Tiffany (23:50):
Phone.
Kelly (23:51):
I can't take on what I used to be able to, or I took on
too much and now I've learned.
And what's hard about this workobviously, is.
You don't always know untilnine, 10 months down the road
that you're like, oh yeah, thatwas too much.
now I have to, you know, now I'mwalking through the rest of this
too much for a little whilelonger while I shift my
(24:12):
boundaries.
And that's just, that's justpart of the work, I suppose,
right.
Is being able to respond in thatway, but also recognizing like
you are living a lot in thefuture in some ways too, which
is, yeah, it's a, it's a hardbalance for sure.
Yeah.
Tiffany (24:27):
Yeah.
And like when we say yes tosomebody, we're saying, yes, I'm
gonna walk with you for the nextyear and a half, you know?
And so that's a huge commitment.
We don't take that lightly.
So we need to make sure thatwhen we're saying yes, like we
really mean that I'm gonna comeacross challenges.
It's going to, it's not gonna beeasy for me to always support
(24:48):
you in the way that you deserve,but I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna sacrifice things inorder to do it.
And that's a big deal.
It's a big deal for somebodywho's, you know, also has a
really flourishing family life.
Kelly (25:03):
Yeah, absolutely
Tiffany (25:05):
next question is how did you each land in San Diego
and or the San Diego area andchoose to put roots down here?
Kelly (25:14):
Well, I feel like these answers will be somewhat
straightforward.
I moved here in high school.
My dad was in the military.
He was stationed on an islandcalled Coronado at the time, and
so I had no choice.
My family had no choice.
We came here and then we werelike.
This is amazing.
My dad retired while I wasending high school.
And so they had the decision ofwhat they were going to do,
(25:35):
seeing where, you know, mybrothers had both graduated high
school already.
They weren't living in SanDiego, but my parents were like,
we love it here so much, we'rejust gonna stay.
And so.
staying was, you know, I, I feellike I, I grew up here more than
my brothers.
I lived here longer.
Like even by the time my dadretired, I'd lived here longer
in those four years thananywhere else.
(25:57):
And it really did feel like.
Home in that way.
And so it was an, it was an easything to, you know, even though
I left a bit for college, likecome back and be like, this is,
this is where I
Tiffany (26:07):
Quick.
Kelly (26:08):
Despite it being expensive despite, you know,
the, the other pieces of thelike make it hard sometimes to
live in California or whatever.
The community that I ended upbuilding here, and I mean, ease
of life here in a lot of ways interms of like, it's beautiful
and the lifestyle fits what wewant for our family.
So yeah, that's the long longstory short of me landing here.
Tiffany (26:31):
And your husband grew up here, so his roots are, his
roots are here.
It was really easy for you guysas a couple to decide to, to
stay here and raise your family.
Kelly (26:41):
Yeah.
And we've had, we've had momentswhere we were like, are we going
to move?
We can find something cheaperelsewhere, that kind of thing.
But like the roots are, theroots are here for sure.
Tiffany (26:50):
Yeah, and I grew up here and my husband grew up like
in Southern California.
And so, I mean, we,
Kelly (26:57):
I.
Tiffany (26:57):
we started out in a really nice coastal, quiet town,
and as we have.
Advanced our selves financially,we can only afford things
further and further away fromthat place.
So we were slowly moving away,but we're still considered San
(27:19):
Diego County.
And I just, same as you.
Like I think somebody asked merecently.
Do you think you could move andbe happy someplace?
And I'm like, yeah, I think I'm,I'm not good with change in
general, but like after thattransition, I probably could
thrive anywhere because I feellike The location is not as
important as some of the otherlike pieces, but I wouldn't want
(27:42):
to have to.
Kelly (27:42):
have to
Tiffany (27:43):
Every time we go on vacation or something, we're
trying to think like, well,what's nicer than San Diego?
What would be worth spendingmoney on for a trip?
And then we go and experiencethat and we're like, yeah,
that's pretty cool.
And then we come home and we'relike, oh, but there's no bugs
here.
And like, oh, but all of ourpeople are here and my bed.
And yeah.
(28:03):
So I don't know.
San Diego's just.
It's a, it's, it would be reallyinteresting to see if we end up
ever living someplace else.
I can't imagine it, but I'vebeen surprised by life before.
Kelly (28:16):
Yeah, for sure.
It's kind of a blessing and acurse I feel like, to be from
here.
'cause you're like, this isamazing.
then you go other places andyou're like, oh, like there,
there's other ama Thereobviously are other amazing
places to live, right?
But then you're like, oh, butI'm also from one of the best
places to ever So, I don't know,it's like, it's a weird weird
situation there.
But let's let's move on.
So the next question is aboutbalancing social media, where.
(28:41):
We spend a good amount of ourtime and we have like a pretty
sweet platform there to be ableto connect and share all kinds
of funny things, real things,educational things, a mix of it
all in one.
But balancing social media in analready busy world to, I'd love
to hear,'cause Tiff, this isactually, I don't know, again, I
don't know exactly when thiscomes out, but currently it is
(29:03):
your month on Instagram.
So.
I'd love to hear a little bitabout how that's going for you
so far, and a bit about likewhat you've learned about
balancing some of these things.
'cause even me just saying it'syour month on it has been a you
know, a work in progress of usfiguring the question or, you
know, the answer to thisquestion out.
Tiffany (29:23):
Yeah, so I mean, a part of the balance is not being the
only person who has to sustaincreating content somewhere or
showing up somewhere.
So us we're, right now, therhythm is month on, month off.
So like I'm on, I'm on socialmedia right now because it is.
So much work, truly, and time toshow up there.
(29:44):
That's my only job in ourbusiness right now.
Besides like some behind thescenes things, my day to day
right now is showing up onsocial media and that is kind of
silly to say out loud.
Kelly (29:56):
But can you
Tiffany (29:57):
My job is to just be on.
Kelly (29:58):
Like if that was your,
Tiffany (30:00):
know
Kelly (30:00):
was just every day 12 months, a
Tiffany (30:02):
it would be.
Kelly (30:03):
it's a lot.
Tiffany (30:04):
Unsustainable.
Completely unsustainable.
So Kelly's job right now isshowing up in our membership,
answering all of our emails,handling the clinical pieces of
our practice, and running likeprenatal appointments and all of
those things.
So like that's how we havedivided up the tasks in our
(30:25):
business right now is that.
Half of the energy output is forsocial media.
And that, I mean, and we'regoing back and forth on that all
the time, right?
Like, we're always shifting andchanging.
And there's times where we'rejust like, oh, you know what,
like, views are down.
That means our, we're gonna,we're gonna.
Down regulate our energy andtime there.
(30:48):
People are out doing otherthings in the middle of summer.
This is not the time to put out,you know, our best content.
And then there's times where, Imean, usually when we're
ovulating, we actually feelreally creative.
We want to share, we want to besocial, and we put a lot of time
and energy in there and it's.
Feels reciprocal.
We really enjoy that space andspending time there.
(31:10):
And so I think it's just, Ithink the, the long-term
sustainability piece of that asa business owner who's actually,
like, we actually, we've had,you guys have probably heard us
talk about this.
I think maybe.
About a year, a little bit overa year ago, we got kicked out of
our Instagram.
We shared some graphic imageabout birth, and we got on the
(31:31):
no-no list, and it took a reallylong time, like almost a month,
to get control of our accountagain.
And so we were like, oh, wellthis is really interesting.
Should we even stay there?
Do we want to be there like itis?
There are pros and cons andwe're constantly evaluating
those.
There can be a lot of cons.
Sometimes it can be a reallydifficult place to, to navigate,
(31:52):
but you kind of like thicken upyour skin and and brush it off.
And the people who are trying tobe weirdos and rude, like you
can laugh at it and you know,most of the time you can like
let it roll off when you havethe right perspective.
So the point there is for us to.
Build relationship with ourfollowers, build transparency
(32:14):
create relatability let peoplesee that there's like actual
live people.
Behind our, our brand so thatpeople are, feel more connected
to the information and theeducation that we wanna share.
So if our goal is to get moreholistic tools and alternatives
into women's hands, and there'sa huge part of our demographic
(32:37):
on this platform, then.
The benefits of being in thatspace and figuring out how to be
in that space and shareinformation, then the benefits
that you know are, are currentlyoutweighing the risks.
So I think it's just BI thinkit's just about continually
balancing that and a good amountgoes into planning.
(32:57):
So even though Instagram kind ofappears to be this like
spontaneous place, that's likeyou're just always sharing
what's happening in the present.
Most often it's a little bitmore curated than that and we're
spending a little bit more timeupfront planning what we want to
share, because doing it in themoment is not always conducive.
(33:18):
Like sometimes that just takesaway more time and, you know,
doesn't, doesn't get drive thepoints home that we want to.
And, you know, we're alsorunning a business, so we're,
we're trying to, you know, sellthings, trying to share
information and be compensatedfor the type of support that we
(33:40):
offer.
And so we have to be balancingthat out too constantly in that
space, right?
Like, not overloading peoplewith the opportunity but also
being, being willing and able toserve too.
So it's multifaceted.
I guess at some point we could,do something, you know, share
something with our audience.
For women who are trying tobuild businesses on Instagram or
(34:02):
just flourish in that spacewithout going crazy.
We could at some point maybeshare, share something somehow
in, in the, how we've done it.
Story.
Kelly (34:13):
Yeah.
Which is like ever evolving.
And just a real quick pointabout that too.
I think I've shifted a lot inhow I consume the content too
when I'm on there.
So now during my month, I'mlike, this is not my month to
consume content.
And sometimes you see stuff andyou're like, oh, this is a
trend, this is something I canget on, you know and enjoy.
And like, I think this is funny.
So I wanna do something like.
(34:33):
Pivot from it a little bit anddo something about that.
But for the most part, I'mtrying not to consume as much
because then I just feel likethat much more of a time suck at
that point too, in my per, youknow, there again, it's just a,
it's a shift and you have tokind of do what works.
Kristen, from We HeartNutrition, who started, who
(34:54):
started, we Heart Nutritionactually has like timers on her
phone where she's like, this isthe.
This is the amount of time I'mallowing myself to stay on here.
And I can only get on it duringthese specific times when like,
you know, here's what my kidsare doing, that kind of thing to
be able to, you know, kind ofreign that in for her.
And I was like, I justappreciate when people can
figure out a way like, thatdoesn't work for everybody, but
(35:15):
it really works for her.
And so anyway, it was like a,it's a cool reminder that like
look around and you think thatsomebody's, you know, maybe
flourishing in a certain way andyou're like, oh, actually
that's.
You know, it's a hard earnedlesson.
Hard one lesson for sure,
Tiffany (35:31):
And I totally understand why people give it up
because it just feels too, like,too much.
Like I can think of a lot, likeagain, if I was on my own or, I
mean, I don't, I don't think Iactually have the heart.
To do it on my own.
I think if I could not sharewith you some of the hard
comments and stuff that we geton there, I would be crushed and
(35:55):
could not recover without beingable to process some of that
with you and.
I mean, that sounds kind of hardto admit out loud.
So if somebody who's listeningto this feels that way, like,
oh, it's just so hard.
It's, it, I, I feel like I can'tsustain it.
I feel like it hurts my heartsometimes to be in that space,
and I don't know how to navigatethose pieces.
Like, for sure.
That is real.
(36:16):
That is absolutely real.
So, I don't know, maybe there'sa, there's some pieces there of
like kind of removing the, notmaking it so important.
It's just social media.
I used to feel really freakedout about.
How we were represented thereand people misconstruing things
that we say and stuff like that.
And just being like, no, no, no,no, no.
That's not what I meant.
(36:36):
Oh my gosh, now we look likecrazy people.
And I'm like, oh no, I don'tcare anymore about that.
I can't,
Kelly (36:44):
Yeah, it's,
Tiffany (36:45):
can't care about that.
Kelly (36:46):
It's very freeing to be in that place.
For sure.
cause
Tiffany (36:49):
Yeah.
Because no matter what you do.
They're gonna crush you,
Kelly (36:52):
yep.
Tiffany (36:52):
so people will crush you for no reason.
Just because they enjoy crushingpeople.
And you're like, oh, man.
Kelly (36:58):
Oh man, I'm
Tiffany (36:59):
Okay.
Here's the next question.
Next question.
Kelly.
How do you plan sleep whensomeone's in labor?
Kelly (37:06):
Hmm, very hard.
So part of it, part of ourcommunication with our clients
before they even go into laboris surrounding how to
communicate with us in labor.
We are never like, Hey, don'tcall us in the middle of the
night, or, you know, whatever.
We're like encouraging of that.
Of course, if you needsomething, of course reach out
to us.
But what we what we communicateis.
(37:29):
Overnight hours or even likeleading into late, you know 8:00
PM 10:00 PM time, where we'relike, okay, if you need us, call
us.
If you think that maybe labormight be starting, but you don't
really know, but you're fine,but you're excited or, you know,
whatever you don't need to tellus that you can be excited with
(37:50):
your husband, you can be excitedwith your friend or whatever,
but that if we are, if I'm told.
Hey, I might be in labor at 8:30PM or something.
It's not actually helpful.
It's not helpful for me to planmy night because my night was
otherwise just gonna be spentsleeping.
Right?
And so understanding thosepieces of boundaries and
communicating, and that was alittle bit hard earned as well,
(38:11):
figuring out how we wanted tocommunicate the communication
piece with our clients.
But.
If I do know somebody is inlabor, you know, labor started
at 4:00 PM they don't need usyet, but I'm like, I'm gonna get
a call tonight.
I still am focusing as much aspossible on my sleep hygiene
because if I get one hour orfour hours, whatever.
(38:31):
It's better than getting none.
And sitting there just runningin my mind's like, oh, I'm gonna
miss this call.
What do I need to do here?
We need our rest, right?
And so I try as much as possibleto,, continue on with the same
sleep hygiene as I can and makesure a million times that my
phone is the loudest it canpossibly be and all of that.
And then hopefully just kind oftrust that I will get the sleep
(38:55):
that I.
Need at some point.
But there have been nights forsure where I'm waking up four or
five times, checking my phone,making sure I didn't miss
something, that kind of thing.
And so yeah, you have to, asmuch as possible, not put it out
of your mind, but Put it on thepriority list of like, okay,
sleep now is number one as, asmuch as I can do it.
And again, I may need to liketake different homeopathics or
(39:18):
add more, you know whatever itis, magnesium spray to my feet,
just to help my body get into a,a calming space.
But yeah, it's, it is a hard, itis a hard part of being on call
for sure.
Tiffany (39:32):
And I think like a, a part of that in the partnership
piece is sharing call with eachother.
And it really sucks when youhave to deal with this situation
and you're the primary midwifeand you're just like, oh my
gosh, I am, I'm exhausted, but Ihave my backup person and I know
(39:54):
that I'm.
The reason I'm taking this on isnot just because I'm the martyr
and this is my job, and I amonly a good midwife if I
completely put myself on thealtar of everybody else's
experiences, but I'm doing it toserve my partner because she's
going, there's gonna be timeswhen she has to do it too.
(40:14):
And when I need a break, she'sgonna take it over.
And so that's like, I thinkthat's, that's a part of it too,
is like, I know that.
When I'm bearing the brunt ofthat, it's to help protect you
so that you can come and pick upthe pieces when I can't, kind of
a thing, you know?
Kelly (40:29):
Yeah, and it's a, it's an absolute benefit of partnership
for sure.
I'm just laughing at how muchpeople want these questions
weren't as personal as I thoughtthey were going to be, but they,
like, they are in some ways, butjust really interesting how
there's like more of a deep divethat people want on the
background of the work that wedo which makes complete sense.
It's just, it's.
It's been interesting.
(40:50):
But our last question does pivota little bit and I'm interested
to hear what your response is toit.
So what is your one exception tolow tox living?
Right.
We talk a lot about likereducing, you know disruptors
that are just gonna mess withour livers and what they're
trying to do and all of that.
So we're like, oh, if we, if wereduce the toxic burden, that is
like a great place to start.
(41:11):
And we're always endeavoring,right?
A life that, generally speakingis like conducive to that.
But do you have something thatis like an exception to that
where you're just like, I'm justgonna do this and I know maybe
it's not the, maybe it's not thelowest talks thing, but this is
my thing and it works and I'mjust gonna stick to it.
Tiffany (41:31):
I, I think we have several of these, probably like
I remember you sharing your.
Your dry shampoo saga, likemascara is one of those things
that I'm like always riding theline on of like, well, like I
wanna do the cleanest thing, butthat actually works and looks
good.
There's some ba like, there'ssome balance there, right?
(41:52):
But the thing that comes to mindthe most for me on this one like
if I think about like another.
Very crunchy person coming intomy house and seeing like the
reality of the, you know, likewhat would I be the most
embarrassed by kind of a thing,you know?
And besides the, this littlestash of terrible food that my
(42:14):
husband keeps for himself andlike a whole different part of
the cabinet.
I don't know if there's otherhouseholds out there where the
least crunchy person in thefamily is just like.
Constantly rebelling against themovement of the other persons,
you know, trying to progress thefamily.
But I'm like, that's him.
(42:34):
I don't care.
You know, he's an adult.
He gets to choose, he gets to dowhatever he wants, if he wants
his little cabinet of things.
But I for me, I think it wouldbe my reliance on Ziploc bags.
I truly do think that I need.
The whole variety of sizes ofZiploc bags and I have reusable
(42:57):
bags that zip that you wash.
And my, and we do use those allthe time.
And I have tons of glasscontainers and I have lots of
alternatives that we do stilluse all the time.
And yet I, I really.
I really still need my Ziplocbags for things just to make it
easy.
I really try not to put hot foodin there.
(43:19):
I really try not to, you know,reuse the bags over and over
again.
Like I, I have someconscientiousness around it, but
I am not gonna give up thoseZiploc bags anytime soon.
It's, I know they're absolutelyterrible.
In fact, I had some friends comeover.
(43:40):
I had to leave for something.
It was probably work related,and they were cleaning up dinner
at my house and so they werelooking through all of my
cabinets to get the leftoversput away, and I was gone
already.
And they took a picture of mydrawer of Ziploc bags and
they're like, wow, you've gotthis secret little.
Microplastic stash.
I see.
(44:01):
And they loved, they loved thatthey had this thing on me, you
know?
And like I was dying because Iwas like, oh yeah, I guess maybe
you would've, you wouldn'tassume that I have zip.
Kelly (44:13):
It is.
So, it's so funny too becausesometimes in this like world,
we're like, oh, this needs to belike our secret, guilty thing
because it, even you mentionedwhat's the thing I would be
embarrassed by?
All of a sudden we're like, oh,this is gonna like tarnish the
image or something.
Right.
I saw somebody share a reel thatlike.
They used Cascade or something,every few washes because that's
(44:34):
just, you know, what they'vefigured out is best for their
dishes getting clean andwhatever.
And it was like a very crunchy,you know, whatever account.
And she was like, I just wannasay like I do my absolute best,
but like sometimes I just needmy dishwasher to like do the
thing.
And this is, this is what I'vediscovered works best for my
family.
So like, judge me and all ofthese comments were like, oh my
(44:56):
gosh, this feels so good to knowyou have this.
You have this thing, right, thatisn't perfect, that isn't you
know up to this image orsomething.
And I just, I appreciated it.
'cause I was like, whatever,that's not my thing.
But like that, it, it, everybodymaybe not everybody, but you
will go crazy if you try to likelive that out perfectly.
(45:16):
And I feel like the stress ofthat maybe worse than just
allowing yourself the thing.
Right.
My thing personally though is Iso.
I have alternatives to trybefore this, but I am I have
accepted the fact that I willalways have some bleach in my
house.
I don't like use it consistentlyto clean everything, whatever.
(45:37):
But there are times where I amlike this, I need the heavy guns
of this.
And I am okay with having triedthe other things and needing to
go this route.
And I know that there arenatural ones.
I have, I have those, I havecreated some of them.
But.
Sometimes I just need someClorox bleached to do a thing,
(45:57):
and I've accepted that.
I'm okay with that.
Tiffany (46:00):
Good for you.
Good for you.
We should do.
We should do like a, we shoulddo like a house tour sometime
walking people through and onlyshowing them the bad stuff.
Kelly (46:13):
Mm-hmm.
Tiffany (46:14):
highlighting like, oh, here's this new health rhythm
that is giving me life and sowonderful and here's how I'm
avoiding all the, the bad stuff.
But we should just like go opencabinets and drawers and stuff
and only find the bad stuff toshow people.
Kelly (46:31):
I love it.
Tiffany (46:33):
I have so many things to share.
I'm not going to, that'll makethis episode so long.
And we have to say goodbye now'cause it's 40 minutes.
Ah, it's 15 minutes long.
Okay, friends, this has beenfun.
Thank you for, thank you forbeing in the spaces where you
can ask questions and, likeKelly said, I don't know if we
got as personal as we wereexpecting but we'll do another
episode like this sometime.
So you guys are primed forthinking of your really personal
(46:56):
questions.
You can send those as an emailor something and we'll
categorize them for later.
But we'll see you next week fora regularly scheduled health
topic of of some kind
Kelly (47:09):
Of our choosing.
Bye ladies.
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Now let's dive into today'sshow.
Kelly (01:09):
Welcome back to the at home with Kelly and Tiffany
podcast.
And today we are gettingpersonal.
We have an ask us anythingepisode, which is always a joy
to do with you.
'cause sometimes I'm not alwayssurprised by your answers, but
sometimes I am.
And it's fun also just to like,share different sides of our
lives with people And so it'skind of fun to connect on a
(01:31):
different level.
Tiffany (01:32):
Yeah, I mean like I appreciate the opportunity to
like mix it up a little bittopic wise and I think that
like, I think that we're ratherlike open about just our
experiences as women in ourlives so that we can create
relatability.
And I think that's why, I thinkthat's why we do the pod.
(01:53):
I think that's a part of why wedo the podcast and it's fun
'cause we get to.
Thread some of those piecesthroughout episodes that have
nothing to do with us, but weend up getting so many questions
just about us personally thatI'm like, okay, let's just bust
out an entire episode that isjust about non-professional
(02:14):
pieces.
However, you can't take themidwife out of the lady, let me
tell you.
There's.
So many questions about birthand work and stuff still, so,
we'll, still, it'll still berelevant.
We're not gonna, oh, there's alot of things we could talk
about, but to ice break us.
Kelly Pappas.
(02:35):
Tell me if you can, this is,this is one, this is out there,
but I'll tell you the, I'll tellyou the reason later that I was
thinking about this.
Tell us a topic that you knownothing about.
Truly.
You have like, no.
Extra information about thisparticular topic but that you
could totally bs your waythrough a conversation about it.
(03:00):
And you might not be in aconversation with another expert
who would recognize that youdon't actually know what you're
talking about, but you couldwith the average person talk
about this thing just becauseyou, like there's some adjacent
knowledge or something likethat.
Kelly (03:15):
Yes.
I'm just envisioning like beingat a party and getting in that
conversation with somebody andyou're like, what am I doing
here?
Like, who do I know here?
How can I get outta thisconversation?
And so one's kind of hard forme, but I, is somewhat random.
I'm gonna go withcryptocurrency.
So technically it's not that Idon't know anything about it.
(03:37):
I have the most minimal baselineknowledge of like the idea of
what it is my husband enjoysthat, years ago, got into
cryptocurrency and so I, Igenerally have an idea that it
is a thing, but I don'tunderstand it But I have had
(03:58):
people, because my husband for awhile was like talking about it
with like a few friends andtheir wives would be like, oh,
so what is this about?
And I'm like, So, you know,answering their questions, but
I'm like, I don't.
I'm saying right now may not betrue or it has like the general
ethereal idea of it, but if I,you ask me to give you details,
I have no clue whatsoever.
(04:18):
But I think I could actuallycarry on a conversation about
you know, digital currency andalternative coins and all kinds
of weird stuff like that, makesme think we're living in like an
alternate universe because it'sjust a weird.
Weird topic in general, but Ibet you weren't expecting that
to be my answer.
Tiffany (04:39):
I wasn't, but I can't tell you what I was expecting
because even when I was thinkingabout this for myself, so it
did, that is what happened tome.
I was at a party and I got stuckwith somebody who wanted to talk
about something that I knewnothing about, and they didn't
have the social awareness torealize that.
I was not interested in thistopic, but I had, I felt the
(05:00):
social responsibility, and Idon't always feel this way.
Sometimes I'm just like, yeah,sorry, I don't.
Yeah, I'll just change thesubject or whatever.
But for whatever reason, Idecided we were just gonna go
with it, and all it took was mejust asking some questions with
the tiniest bit of understandingthat I thought that I had about
(05:20):
it.
It was sports related.
So of course, like I really donot understand, I do not
actually understand how sportswork, but I have enough people
in my life who have thrown outsome words and terms and stuff
that I can, I can ask questionsthat make it sound like I do
know or I am interested.
(05:41):
And I think I have just enoughreflective listening skills,
probably just from being amidwife that.
I, I think I can go a prettylong time in a conversation just
reflectively listening andadding in some pieces here and
there to like fake my waythrough a conversation with
somebody.
(06:01):
I know it's made that reallymade me think about that.
But I feel like I think peoplewant us to have like a lot of
knowledge about other medicalthings because we're in a
medical field and so I thinkthat that's another example
where I can.
Where I'm like, oh, you think Iunderstand orthopedics?
That's really interesting.
(06:23):
I.
I could just say I haveabsolutely no idea and I, I'm
not interested in talking aboutthis with you.
Or I could just ask somequestions and just think about
the time my friend broke herarm, or when I broke my foot, or
the x-rays my kid got for her.
Kneecap situ, you know, and thenyou just start to pull all these
(06:44):
little pieces where you're like,actually, I, I could, I could
have a conversation about thisright now with a little bit of
what I know, and you clearlywanna talk about that so I can
help string that, string thatalong.
Cryptocurrency, Kelly.
Okay.
Kelly (06:58):
It's a, it's a weird one, but it does, it does kind of
remind me like just that wholethought train of how helpful it
is sometimes like I feel like weget into conversations and we
just wanna talk, right?
Like, or we're like, I wannatalk about this.
And so like, that's what this,that's where this conversation
is going.
And of course, like it's greatto have the back and forth of,
to be with somebody that you'reactually like.
(07:19):
I enjoy you and I know you andwe can go wherever we want with
this conversation, but how sweetit is when you're like building
community or meeting new peopleor whatever, just to be like,
yeah, I don't, I don't, maybe Idon't really connect right off
the bat with you or I don'tunderstand really what you're
talking about, but like I doknow how to ask questions and I
do know how to pull from my ownlife experience to be able to be
(07:39):
like, can we find some kind ofconnection and can I help you
feel seen in this situation too?
And all of that.
So.
Anyway, that was like a goodlittle question reminder for me.
Tiffany (07:50):
Yeah, I'm sure it's relatable.
I don't know.
There seems to be like, I mean,this episode's being recorded.
In the summer still?
I don't know.
I can't remember when it's gonnarelease, but I feel like it's a
more social time.
I feel like there's moreopportunities for socializing
probably this, and then likearound the holidays, there's
just more things going on andyou end up, you end up, I guess,
(08:10):
you know, we could get into awhole thing too about like where
you're at in your cycle as youendeavor into social situations
could potentially guide you inhow you are able to interact and
respond.
Kelly (08:25):
Hundred percent.
Tiffany (08:27):
Okay.
But today we are diving into acouple of personal questions,
Kelly and Tiffany questions.
We,
Kelly (08:35):
We
Tiffany (08:36):
pulled our audience on Instagram and I was, I thought I
was really clear, Hey, we'regonna do an episode.
It's all, you know, ask us thepersonal things, not the
professional things.
I even gave some examples like.
Work life balance, homeschooland family lifestyle things,
right?
Like, just to be really clear,and then people were still
(08:58):
asking us for medical adviceabout their personal medical
things.
Kelly (09:05):
I love, I
Tiffany (09:07):
I was like, no, not not personal question, not your
personal situation.
Kelly (09:14):
So good.
Yeah.
Not personal
Tiffany (09:16):
So.
Kelly (09:16):
about you on our podcast.
Okay, great.
Tiffany (09:19):
If it was just one or two, I'd be like, oh, they
misunderstood, or they don't,they're not paying attention.
But like several people werelike, please talk more about
VBACs.
Please talk more aboutendometriosis.
I'm like, well, I don't haveexperience with either of those
things.
So those are, that's not apersonal question for me or
Kelly.
(09:39):
So the whole idea behind this,this concept of course, is that
we are often answering otherpeople's questions.
We're often providing contextand education and information
for people and what they'regoing through.
And I think, like, I think
Kelly (09:57):
think we
Tiffany (09:58):
we like to show up in per, in a personal way, inside
of.
Different spaces.
And I think Instagram is a greatplace for us to do that, but
it's not always appropriate tobe talking about ourselves
constantly.
So, so Kelly, do not hold back.
This is our chance in thisepisode to make it all about you
all about you.
Kelly (10:19):
this is
Tiffany (10:19):
We wanna be trying to,
Kelly (10:21):
True dream.
My absolute dream in life.
Make
Tiffany (10:23):
it's, it's, I know we, well, you know what?
We probably should have dividedthis into two episodes.
We probably should have done apersonal questions for Kelly,
personal questions for Tiffany,and we'll have to di we'll dive
into that later after this oneruns its course and see, but.
Kelly (10:40):
We,
Tiffany (10:40):
we ha we also got a lot of questions'cause it just comes
up and I did invite the worklife balance concept.
I did invite women to askquestions about that too.
And we talk extensively aboutthose things in a whole series
because we get questions abouthow we became midwives and
midwifery school and how westarted our practice and how we
(11:01):
balance work as a mom or birthworker.
And so you guys can go to theshow notes and.
Capture the link to theseepisodes.
It's 124 to 126, and we'llanswer some of those questions
today because it's just a partof, I mean, that's evolving
that, that we did that seriesmaybe like two years ago or
(11:21):
something, and so potentiallythere's something, you know,
different to share today aboutsome of those things.
So we'll, we'll answer some ofthose, but if you're really
curious about that part of ourlives and us talking about that
extensively, we have thoseepisodes for you guys to.
Jump into but the questions fortoday, I, since it's all about
(11:42):
you, Kelly, all about you, thevery first question that I have
for you is what's your favoritething about working with me?
Kelly (11:50):
It is, it is never really all about me, is it?
No, I'm just kidding.
My favorite thing about workingwith Tiff.
And like generally speakingabout having this partnership
with like, my best friend to beable to do this work, to be able
to live life outside of work togo through life just together,
(12:11):
both professionally andpersonally is like the sweetest
thing for sure.
The work part of it, I will saylike, so when we're at births
and doing the clinical work oreven in, you know prenatal
appointments or somethingtogether.
It's the knowing and the comfortthat I can, we can communicate
just through like a expressionor like a quick meet of the eyes
(12:35):
that I feel like we're able tosay things without having to say
them out loud.
And just that familiarity andthat level of comfort when doing
this kind of work is incrediblebecause we don't have to mess
around.
I mean, sometimes we do, but wedon't have to mess around with
saying a lot or, you know,interfering with what somebody
is doing because we'restruggling to know what the
(12:57):
other person needs or whatever.
There's certainly a time toexplain very clearly what you
need, but a lot of just the, thelife that we do together within
our work is just, feels reallyfamiliar and safe.
And that's just I, I don't thinkI, I wouldn't wanna do this
without that.
Like, I just, I wouldn't.
Tiffany (13:16):
I know after you experience a partnership that
just go like, really, you know,jives Well, I, everything else
would be a compromise.
Like, I would be so hard pressedto do something different.
It would be really difficult forme to be at a birth regularly
with another
Kelly (13:35):
Mm-hmm.
Tiffany (13:36):
And Ha And not just the work of having to relearn
somebody else's.
Thinking patterns and mannerismsand like, you know, decision
making processes and stuff,because that's worth it.
That's worth putting it in, butjust the.
Comfort of knowing youpersonally and having you at my
side Personally, it makes mefeel safe.
(13:58):
It makes me feel covered.
We've had birth before that aregoing so fast and only one of us
arrives, you know, before thebaby's born, and I'm just, every
time you walk in to thatsituation.
I'm instantly relieved.
It's just like, oh, my person'shere.
Even if it's postpartum, even,you know, just like, oh, my
(14:18):
person's here.
But I don't want that todiscourage.
I, I know that some people lookat our relationship and they
see.
How, oh, I could never get that.
What are the chances that Iwould be able to work with
another midwife who I like somuch that I get along with that
I want, that we have, you know,that we're aligned on so many
pieces and I don't want someoneto compare themselves to.
(14:44):
To us and think like, oh, I'llnever be able to have that.
I think it's still worth puttingyourself out there and being
vulnerable in a partnership, andcompromising in a partnership
and serving in a partnership andnot thinking all the time about
everything you have.
Like, oh, if I, if I work withsomebody else like that, then I
(15:05):
have to give up.
This, this, this, and this.
And not look at it so much like,like that, but, but look at it
like, how can you be a part ofthe team?
How can you serve well in that?
And if you both have thatperspective then there's
something like really beautifulthat can come outta that.
But I was just telling somebodyour story.
For the first time, someone thatI'm just getting to know who is
(15:28):
like, oh, tell me more aboutlike your, you know, your work
partner and stuff.
And it's so funny for me to gothrough the story of like, oh,
well we didn't really start outas friends.
And they're like, how is that?
Like how, how have you notalways like been friends from
birth?
You know, like just because ourfriendship is so deep and like
(15:48):
so profound and such a huge partof our lives.
And I just love rememberingthat.
I love remembering that like.
We did not purposeful, we didnot set out to be best friends.
It just was how it, how it went.
And I know that we've sharedthat recently.
How that happened through someof the birth stories that we've
told here over the past fewmonths has been the piece that
(16:12):
like has shaped that being in areally vulnerable situation and
sharing that with somebody else.
It just, how could you not.
Kelly (16:23):
Hmm.
Amen.
Yeah, I think it, it is helpfulto remember too, we will get to
other questions in a moment, butwe came together with a similar
idea of like, can we do thismidwifery thing differently?
Together.
Can we figure out a way to servepeople in a way that feels right
for us and also honors ourfamily and is just not something
that we've been shown throughthe community that we've seen so
(16:46):
far.
What can we do to do somethingdifferently?
And that's really what startedbringing us together is our
desire to be like, okay, I seewhat I see and I don't, I don't
necessarily wanna be a part ofthat.
I wanna do something a littledifferent.
And then it just kind ofsnowballed from there, which is,
which is super sweet.
And again, we have a whole threepart episode where you can go
back and listen to lots of stuffabout.
Partnership and midwifery schooland all of that kind of good
(17:08):
stuff.
Okay, next one is also stillbirth related.
Do you still attend births?
If not, when will you startagain?
That is a common question we aregetting.
Tiffany, I will leave that up toyou.
Tiffany (17:22):
I know that's, that's, people are asking us a lot about
if we're still attending birth,because on our website we have
had our midwifery calendarclosed for.
A couple years now, we have notbeen taking new clients.
We have been working with a verysmall amount of our own repeat
clients for the most part.
Every once in a while there's adifferent circumstance, but we
(17:43):
really are taking it case bycase because we're doing a
really small number of births inthis season where we're
preferring and needing to bemore present with our own
families.
And so balancing that.
Is, I feel like we're constantlybalancing that and we discuss
almost every single potentialthat comes our way where, you
(18:07):
know, if we get inquiries in ouremail, we almost are always
discussing together, Hey,here's.
You know, just checking, makingsure that we're still on the
same page with this.
And that's been really hard,especially to turn away some of
our repeat clients and say, I'msorry, but I've already blocked
this time off to not be on call.
(18:27):
And I would love to serve yourfamily again, and I would love
to be a part of that experienceagain, but I have to put my own
family first.
And if you don't say nosometimes, then you will always
be.
Stretched.
Even when we were, even when wewere, what I would say, like
working full time, doing four tosix births a month, we still had
(18:49):
to say no sometimes to somebody.
And so that's just a part ofthis work is there's just only a
certain amount of capacity thatanyone can have at any certain
time, and it's not the same foreverybody across the board.
So we are still attending burs.
We used to be a lot more.
Open about being, being like weused to talk a lot more about
(19:10):
the clients that we serve.
And we used to talk a lot moreabout the clinical pieces with
our own specific clients onsocial media, and that was a
really fun thing to share.
But now, because we work withsuch a small amount of women, if
we share something in real time,it would be really easy for
mutual people to be able to findout who we're talking about.
(19:33):
And then now they know that it'sjust too much.
It's too easy to violate theirprivacy, and so we can't.
We don't talk very often aboutwho you know about what's going
on with our clients clinically,which is to the detriment of
those who can learn from it.
And we'll try to like continueto fold in those pieces in other
ways too.
But, so I think that that'sanother thing that people are
(19:55):
like, are you even, are youdoing this still?
Are you even still doing this?
I don't know when we're gonnaopen the calendar again.
It might be never, we might notever have our calendar open to
the public.
But that seems, that seems kindof silly to say because things
are changing all the time.
I mean, we, something couldhappen that makes us change our
(20:15):
mind next month and that we feelcalled to serve in a greater
capacity.
Again, I can't imagine it untilmy kids are.
Ha until my kids have more oftheir own life.
Because right now there's somuch that I wanna be present for
every single day, and no matterwhat, if I.
Choose to work, even though thepieces are very flexible, no
(20:39):
matter what, I have to asksomebody else to stand in or for
my kids to do something withoutme, and I'm just not willing, I
guess I'm just not willing to tosacrifice that right now because
they want me and I'm just like,I'm blown away that they want me
around and want me to be a partof these teen years I wasn't
expecting.
It's kind of cool.
Kelly (21:00):
Yeah, I think, I think we both thought, oh, when, when
they're not breastfeedinganymore.
Oh.
When they're easier to just dropoff real quick at, you know,
grandparents' house or whatever,then we will feel like, oh,
we're free to do the, you know,more work or whatever.
And we've just discovered, likeas they get older, the needs,
it's not, it is not less.
In some ways it's more, and in alot of ways it's deeper and.
(21:21):
More, I don't wanna say moremeaningful'cause it's all
meaningful, but just the stakesare just different now and
they're a bit higher, especiallyas they get older and the fact
that there's a desire for moretime together.
I'm like, well in, I'm not gonnalook back on my life and be
like, I wish that I took on moreclients while my kids were still
(21:42):
in my home.
You know?
And so, i'm so thankful we wereon the same page as we decided
to, you know shift around whatwe were, what we were doing,
which is a hard, hard decisionand hard, you know, season to,
to walk through.
But I'm actually really proud ofus too for honoring, you know,
the things that we tell othermoms to do.
Like we were able to extend thatto ourselves and that's, that's
(22:03):
sweet.
Tiffany (22:04):
Yeah, that is, that is probably one of the best things
about working together is.
That we do get to be on the samepage about that.
And that wasn't my expectation.
You know, when I came to you andkind of like initiated this,
like, Hey, I need to step back alittle bit.
I was expecting you to, I was, Iwas anticipating that you were
gonna be like, okay, Iunderstand that.
That's really sad for me, butI'll figure out a way to.
(22:28):
Move forward, you know, in someway.
But instead you were like, yeah,actually I wanted, I wanna step,
I wanna step back too.
I wanna be more present, youknow, with my family too.
And I was like, dang man, did wehit the jackpot or what?
Kelly (22:44):
Hundred
Tiffany (22:44):
Or what?
So another part of thisconversation is like the patient
ratios.
Someone wants to know, like, howdo you, how do you know to
whether you're taking on.
Enough to like make it worth itand without like overextending
yourself.
And there's a, that's a similaranswer, but it's a little
nuanced.
Kelly (23:05):
Yeah, for sure.
And obviously it's gonna bedifferent for different people.
It will kill you if you lookaround and say, well, this
person's able to take on sevenper month.
And they seem like they havetheir life together and you
know, whatever.
How come I'm taking on three andfeeling like I'm underwater?
Right.
Everybody's in a differentseason, different capacity, and
you don't know what is going onbehind the scenes for somebody
(23:26):
else also.
Right.
So trying to sort out, also justlooking at your whole business
goals too, and figuring out howmuch money.
Do I need to make?
How much time do I have to give?
What's the season of life thatI'm in or that my family's in?
And recognizing that that canchange and shift and being able
(23:46):
to, I guess, be humble enoughalso to say like,
Tiffany (23:50):
Phone.
Kelly (23:51):
I can't take on what I used to be able to, or I took on
too much and now I've learned.
And what's hard about this workobviously, is.
You don't always know untilnine, 10 months down the road
that you're like, oh yeah, thatwas too much.
now I have to, you know, now I'mwalking through the rest of this
too much for a little whilelonger while I shift my
(24:12):
boundaries.
And that's just, that's justpart of the work, I suppose,
right.
Is being able to respond in thatway, but also recognizing like
you are living a lot in thefuture in some ways too, which
is, yeah, it's a, it's a hardbalance for sure.
Yeah.
Tiffany (24:27):
Yeah.
And like when we say yes tosomebody, we're saying, yes, I'm
gonna walk with you for the nextyear and a half, you know?
And so that's a huge commitment.
We don't take that lightly.
So we need to make sure thatwhen we're saying yes, like we
really mean that I'm gonna comeacross challenges.
It's going to, it's not gonna beeasy for me to always support
(24:48):
you in the way that you deserve,but I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna sacrifice things inorder to do it.
And that's a big deal.
It's a big deal for somebodywho's, you know, also has a
really flourishing family life.
Kelly (25:03):
Yeah, absolutely
Tiffany (25:05):
next question is how did you each land in San Diego
and or the San Diego area andchoose to put roots down here?
Kelly (25:14):
Well, I feel like these answers will be somewhat
straightforward.
I moved here in high school.
My dad was in the military.
He was stationed on an islandcalled Coronado at the time, and
so I had no choice.
My family had no choice.
We came here and then we werelike.
This is amazing.
My dad retired while I wasending high school.
And so they had the decision ofwhat they were going to do,
(25:35):
seeing where, you know, mybrothers had both graduated high
school already.
They weren't living in SanDiego, but my parents were like,
we love it here so much, we'rejust gonna stay.
And so.
staying was, you know, I, I feellike I, I grew up here more than
my brothers.
I lived here longer.
Like even by the time my dadretired, I'd lived here longer
in those four years thananywhere else.
(25:57):
And it really did feel like.
Home in that way.
And so it was an, it was an easything to, you know, even though
I left a bit for college, likecome back and be like, this is,
this is where I
Tiffany (26:07):
Quick.
Kelly (26:08):
Despite it being expensive despite, you know,
the, the other pieces of thelike make it hard sometimes to
live in California or whatever.
The community that I ended upbuilding here, and I mean, ease
of life here in a lot of ways interms of like, it's beautiful
and the lifestyle fits what wewant for our family.
So yeah, that's the long longstory short of me landing here.
Tiffany (26:31):
And your husband grew up here, so his roots are, his
roots are here.
It was really easy for you guysas a couple to decide to, to
stay here and raise your family.
Kelly (26:41):
Yeah.
And we've had, we've had momentswhere we were like, are we going
to move?
We can find something cheaperelsewhere, that kind of thing.
But like the roots are, theroots are here for sure.
Tiffany (26:50):
Yeah, and I grew up here and my husband grew up like
in Southern California.
And so, I mean, we,
Kelly (26:57):
I.
Tiffany (26:57):
we started out in a really nice coastal, quiet town,
and as we have.
Advanced our selves financially,we can only afford things
further and further away fromthat place.
So we were slowly moving away,but we're still considered San
(27:19):
Diego County.
And I just, same as you.
Like I think somebody asked merecently.
Do you think you could move andbe happy someplace?
And I'm like, yeah, I think I'm,I'm not good with change in
general, but like after thattransition, I probably could
thrive anywhere because I feellike The location is not as
important as some of the otherlike pieces, but I wouldn't want
(27:42):
to have to.
Kelly (27:42):
have to
Tiffany (27:43):
Every time we go on vacation or something, we're
trying to think like, well,what's nicer than San Diego?
What would be worth spendingmoney on for a trip?
And then we go and experiencethat and we're like, yeah,
that's pretty cool.
And then we come home and we'relike, oh, but there's no bugs
here.
And like, oh, but all of ourpeople are here and my bed.
And yeah.
(28:03):
So I don't know.
San Diego's just.
It's a, it's, it would be reallyinteresting to see if we end up
ever living someplace else.
I can't imagine it, but I'vebeen surprised by life before.
Kelly (28:16):
Yeah, for sure.
It's kind of a blessing and acurse I feel like, to be from
here.
'cause you're like, this isamazing.
then you go other places andyou're like, oh, like there,
there's other ama Thereobviously are other amazing
places to live, right?
But then you're like, oh, butI'm also from one of the best
places to ever So, I don't know,it's like, it's a weird weird
situation there.
But let's let's move on.
So the next question is aboutbalancing social media, where.
(28:41):
We spend a good amount of ourtime and we have like a pretty
sweet platform there to be ableto connect and share all kinds
of funny things, real things,educational things, a mix of it
all in one.
But balancing social media in analready busy world to, I'd love
to hear,'cause Tiff, this isactually, I don't know, again, I
don't know exactly when thiscomes out, but currently it is
(29:03):
your month on Instagram.
So.
I'd love to hear a little bitabout how that's going for you
so far, and a bit about likewhat you've learned about
balancing some of these things.
'cause even me just saying it'syour month on it has been a you
know, a work in progress of usfiguring the question or, you
know, the answer to thisquestion out.
Tiffany (29:23):
Yeah, so I mean, a part of the balance is not being the
only person who has to sustaincreating content somewhere or
showing up somewhere.
So us we're, right now, therhythm is month on, month off.
So like I'm on, I'm on socialmedia right now because it is.
So much work, truly, and time toshow up there.
(29:44):
That's my only job in ourbusiness right now.
Besides like some behind thescenes things, my day to day
right now is showing up onsocial media and that is kind of
silly to say out loud.
Kelly (29:56):
But can you
Tiffany (29:57):
My job is to just be on.
Kelly (29:58):
Like if that was your,
Tiffany (30:00):
know
Kelly (30:00):
was just every day 12 months, a
Tiffany (30:02):
it would be.
Kelly (30:03):
it's a lot.
Tiffany (30:04):
Unsustainable.
Completely unsustainable.
So Kelly's job right now isshowing up in our membership,
answering all of our emails,handling the clinical pieces of
our practice, and running likeprenatal appointments and all of
those things.
So like that's how we havedivided up the tasks in our
(30:25):
business right now is that.
Half of the energy output is forsocial media.
And that, I mean, and we'regoing back and forth on that all
the time, right?
Like, we're always shifting andchanging.
And there's times where we'rejust like, oh, you know what,
like, views are down.
That means our, we're gonna,we're gonna.
Down regulate our energy andtime there.
(30:48):
People are out doing otherthings in the middle of summer.
This is not the time to put out,you know, our best content.
And then there's times where, Imean, usually when we're
ovulating, we actually feelreally creative.
We want to share, we want to besocial, and we put a lot of time
and energy in there and it's.
Feels reciprocal.
We really enjoy that space andspending time there.
(31:10):
And so I think it's just, Ithink the, the long-term
sustainability piece of that asa business owner who's actually,
like, we actually, we've had,you guys have probably heard us
talk about this.
I think maybe.
About a year, a little bit overa year ago, we got kicked out of
our Instagram.
We shared some graphic imageabout birth, and we got on the
(31:31):
no-no list, and it took a reallylong time, like almost a month,
to get control of our accountagain.
And so we were like, oh, wellthis is really interesting.
Should we even stay there?
Do we want to be there like itis?
There are pros and cons andwe're constantly evaluating
those.
There can be a lot of cons.
Sometimes it can be a reallydifficult place to, to navigate,
(31:52):
but you kind of like thicken upyour skin and and brush it off.
And the people who are trying tobe weirdos and rude, like you
can laugh at it and you know,most of the time you can like
let it roll off when you havethe right perspective.
So the point there is for us to.
Build relationship with ourfollowers, build transparency
(32:14):
create relatability let peoplesee that there's like actual
live people.
Behind our, our brand so thatpeople are, feel more connected
to the information and theeducation that we wanna share.
So if our goal is to get moreholistic tools and alternatives
into women's hands, and there'sa huge part of our demographic
(32:37):
on this platform, then.
The benefits of being in thatspace and figuring out how to be
in that space and shareinformation, then the benefits
that you know are, are currentlyoutweighing the risks.
So I think it's just BI thinkit's just about continually
balancing that and a good amountgoes into planning.
(32:57):
So even though Instagram kind ofappears to be this like
spontaneous place, that's likeyou're just always sharing
what's happening in the present.
Most often it's a little bitmore curated than that and we're
spending a little bit more timeupfront planning what we want to
share, because doing it in themoment is not always conducive.
(33:18):
Like sometimes that just takesaway more time and, you know,
doesn't, doesn't get drive thepoints home that we want to.
And, you know, we're alsorunning a business, so we're,
we're trying to, you know, sellthings, trying to share
information and be compensatedfor the type of support that we
(33:40):
offer.
And so we have to be balancingthat out too constantly in that
space, right?
Like, not overloading peoplewith the opportunity but also
being, being willing and able toserve too.
So it's multifaceted.
I guess at some point we could,do something, you know, share
something with our audience.
For women who are trying tobuild businesses on Instagram or
(34:02):
just flourish in that spacewithout going crazy.
We could at some point maybeshare, share something somehow
in, in the, how we've done it.
Story.
Kelly (34:13):
Yeah.
Which is like ever evolving.
And just a real quick pointabout that too.
I think I've shifted a lot inhow I consume the content too
when I'm on there.
So now during my month, I'mlike, this is not my month to
consume content.
And sometimes you see stuff andyou're like, oh, this is a
trend, this is something I canget on, you know and enjoy.
And like, I think this is funny.
So I wanna do something like.
(34:33):
Pivot from it a little bit anddo something about that.
But for the most part, I'mtrying not to consume as much
because then I just feel likethat much more of a time suck at
that point too, in my per, youknow, there again, it's just a,
it's a shift and you have tokind of do what works.
Kristen, from We HeartNutrition, who started, who
(34:54):
started, we Heart Nutritionactually has like timers on her
phone where she's like, this isthe.
This is the amount of time I'mallowing myself to stay on here.
And I can only get on it duringthese specific times when like,
you know, here's what my kidsare doing, that kind of thing to
be able to, you know, kind ofreign that in for her.
And I was like, I justappreciate when people can
figure out a way like, thatdoesn't work for everybody, but
(35:15):
it really works for her.
And so anyway, it was like a,it's a cool reminder that like
look around and you think thatsomebody's, you know, maybe
flourishing in a certain way andyou're like, oh, actually
that's.
You know, it's a hard earnedlesson.
Hard one lesson for sure,
Tiffany (35:31):
And I totally understand why people give it up
because it just feels too, like,too much.
Like I can think of a lot, likeagain, if I was on my own or, I
mean, I don't, I don't think Iactually have the heart.
To do it on my own.
I think if I could not sharewith you some of the hard
comments and stuff that we geton there, I would be crushed and
(35:55):
could not recover without beingable to process some of that
with you and.
I mean, that sounds kind of hardto admit out loud.
So if somebody who's listeningto this feels that way, like,
oh, it's just so hard.
It's, it, I, I feel like I can'tsustain it.
I feel like it hurts my heartsometimes to be in that space,
and I don't know how to navigatethose pieces.
Like, for sure.
That is real.
(36:16):
That is absolutely real.
So, I don't know, maybe there'sa, there's some pieces there of
like kind of removing the, notmaking it so important.
It's just social media.
I used to feel really freakedout about.
How we were represented thereand people misconstruing things
that we say and stuff like that.
And just being like, no, no, no,no, no.
That's not what I meant.
(36:36):
Oh my gosh, now we look likecrazy people.
And I'm like, oh no, I don'tcare anymore about that.
I can't,
Kelly (36:44):
Yeah, it's,
Tiffany (36:45):
can't care about that.
Kelly (36:46):
It's very freeing to be in that place.
For sure.
cause
Tiffany (36:49):
Yeah.
Because no matter what you do.
They're gonna crush you,
Kelly (36:52):
yep.
Tiffany (36:52):
so people will crush you for no reason.
Just because they enjoy crushingpeople.
And you're like, oh, man.
Kelly (36:58):
Oh man, I'm
Tiffany (36:59):
Okay.
Here's the next question.
Next question.
Kelly.
How do you plan sleep whensomeone's in labor?
Kelly (37:06):
Hmm, very hard.
So part of it, part of ourcommunication with our clients
before they even go into laboris surrounding how to
communicate with us in labor.
We are never like, Hey, don'tcall us in the middle of the
night, or, you know, whatever.
We're like encouraging of that.
Of course, if you needsomething, of course reach out
to us.
But what we what we communicateis.
(37:29):
Overnight hours or even likeleading into late, you know 8:00
PM 10:00 PM time, where we'relike, okay, if you need us, call
us.
If you think that maybe labormight be starting, but you don't
really know, but you're fine,but you're excited or, you know,
whatever you don't need to tellus that you can be excited with
(37:50):
your husband, you can be excitedwith your friend or whatever,
but that if we are, if I'm told.
Hey, I might be in labor at 8:30PM or something.
It's not actually helpful.
It's not helpful for me to planmy night because my night was
otherwise just gonna be spentsleeping.
Right?
And so understanding thosepieces of boundaries and
communicating, and that was alittle bit hard earned as well,
(38:11):
figuring out how we wanted tocommunicate the communication
piece with our clients.
But.
If I do know somebody is inlabor, you know, labor started
at 4:00 PM they don't need usyet, but I'm like, I'm gonna get
a call tonight.
I still am focusing as much aspossible on my sleep hygiene
because if I get one hour orfour hours, whatever.
(38:31):
It's better than getting none.
And sitting there just runningin my mind's like, oh, I'm gonna
miss this call.
What do I need to do here?
We need our rest, right?
And so I try as much as possibleto,, continue on with the same
sleep hygiene as I can and makesure a million times that my
phone is the loudest it canpossibly be and all of that.
And then hopefully just kind oftrust that I will get the sleep
(38:55):
that I.
Need at some point.
But there have been nights forsure where I'm waking up four or
five times, checking my phone,making sure I didn't miss
something, that kind of thing.
And so yeah, you have to, asmuch as possible, not put it out
of your mind, but Put it on thepriority list of like, okay,
sleep now is number one as, asmuch as I can do it.
And again, I may need to liketake different homeopathics or
(39:18):
add more, you know whatever itis, magnesium spray to my feet,
just to help my body get into a,a calming space.
But yeah, it's, it is a hard, itis a hard part of being on call
for sure.
Tiffany (39:32):
And I think like a, a part of that in the partnership
piece is sharing call with eachother.
And it really sucks when youhave to deal with this situation
and you're the primary midwifeand you're just like, oh my
gosh, I am, I'm exhausted, but Ihave my backup person and I know
(39:54):
that I'm.
The reason I'm taking this on isnot just because I'm the martyr
and this is my job, and I amonly a good midwife if I
completely put myself on thealtar of everybody else's
experiences, but I'm doing it toserve my partner because she's
going, there's gonna be timeswhen she has to do it too.
(40:14):
And when I need a break, she'sgonna take it over.
And so that's like, I thinkthat's, that's a part of it too,
is like, I know that.
When I'm bearing the brunt ofthat, it's to help protect you
so that you can come and pick upthe pieces when I can't, kind of
a thing, you know?
Kelly (40:29):
Yeah, and it's a, it's an absolute benefit of partnership
for sure.
I'm just laughing at how muchpeople want these questions
weren't as personal as I thoughtthey were going to be, but they,
like, they are in some ways, butjust really interesting how
there's like more of a deep divethat people want on the
background of the work that wedo which makes complete sense.
It's just, it's.
It's been interesting.
(40:50):
But our last question does pivota little bit and I'm interested
to hear what your response is toit.
So what is your one exception tolow tox living?
Right.
We talk a lot about likereducing, you know disruptors
that are just gonna mess withour livers and what they're
trying to do and all of that.
So we're like, oh, if we, if wereduce the toxic burden, that is
like a great place to start.
(41:11):
And we're always endeavoring,right?
A life that, generally speakingis like conducive to that.
But do you have something thatis like an exception to that
where you're just like, I'm justgonna do this and I know maybe
it's not the, maybe it's not thelowest talks thing, but this is
my thing and it works and I'mjust gonna stick to it.
Tiffany (41:31):
I, I think we have several of these, probably like
I remember you sharing your.
Your dry shampoo saga, likemascara is one of those things
that I'm like always riding theline on of like, well, like I
wanna do the cleanest thing, butthat actually works and looks
good.
There's some ba like, there'ssome balance there, right?
(41:52):
But the thing that comes to mindthe most for me on this one like
if I think about like another.
Very crunchy person coming intomy house and seeing like the
reality of the, you know, likewhat would I be the most
embarrassed by kind of a thing,you know?
And besides the, this littlestash of terrible food that my
(42:14):
husband keeps for himself andlike a whole different part of
the cabinet.
I don't know if there's otherhouseholds out there where the
least crunchy person in thefamily is just like.
Constantly rebelling against themovement of the other persons,
you know, trying to progress thefamily.
But I'm like, that's him.
(42:34):
I don't care.
You know, he's an adult.
He gets to choose, he gets to dowhatever he wants, if he wants
his little cabinet of things.
But I for me, I think it wouldbe my reliance on Ziploc bags.
I truly do think that I need.
The whole variety of sizes ofZiploc bags and I have reusable
(42:57):
bags that zip that you wash.
And my, and we do use those allthe time.
And I have tons of glasscontainers and I have lots of
alternatives that we do stilluse all the time.
And yet I, I really.
I really still need my Ziplocbags for things just to make it
easy.
I really try not to put hot foodin there.
(43:19):
I really try not to, you know,reuse the bags over and over
again.
Like I, I have someconscientiousness around it, but
I am not gonna give up thoseZiploc bags anytime soon.
It's, I know they're absolutelyterrible.
In fact, I had some friends comeover.
(43:40):
I had to leave for something.
It was probably work related,and they were cleaning up dinner
at my house and so they werelooking through all of my
cabinets to get the leftoversput away, and I was gone
already.
And they took a picture of mydrawer of Ziploc bags and
they're like, wow, you've gotthis secret little.
Microplastic stash.
I see.
(44:01):
And they loved, they loved thatthey had this thing on me, you
know?
And like I was dying because Iwas like, oh yeah, I guess maybe
you would've, you wouldn'tassume that I have zip.
Kelly (44:13):
It is.
So, it's so funny too becausesometimes in this like world,
we're like, oh, this needs to belike our secret, guilty thing
because it, even you mentionedwhat's the thing I would be
embarrassed by?
All of a sudden we're like, oh,this is gonna like tarnish the
image or something.
Right.
I saw somebody share a reel thatlike.
They used Cascade or something,every few washes because that's
(44:34):
just, you know, what they'vefigured out is best for their
dishes getting clean andwhatever.
And it was like a very crunchy,you know, whatever account.
And she was like, I just wannasay like I do my absolute best,
but like sometimes I just needmy dishwasher to like do the
thing.
And this is, this is what I'vediscovered works best for my
family.
So like, judge me and all ofthese comments were like, oh my
(44:56):
gosh, this feels so good to knowyou have this.
You have this thing, right, thatisn't perfect, that isn't you
know up to this image orsomething.
And I just, I appreciated it.
'cause I was like, whatever,that's not my thing.
But like that, it, it, everybodymaybe not everybody, but you
will go crazy if you try to likelive that out perfectly.
(45:16):
And I feel like the stress ofthat maybe worse than just
allowing yourself the thing.
Right.
My thing personally though is Iso.
I have alternatives to trybefore this, but I am I have
accepted the fact that I willalways have some bleach in my
house.
I don't like use it consistentlyto clean everything, whatever.
(45:37):
But there are times where I amlike this, I need the heavy guns
of this.
And I am okay with having triedthe other things and needing to
go this route.
And I know that there arenatural ones.
I have, I have those, I havecreated some of them.
But.
Sometimes I just need someClorox bleached to do a thing,
(45:57):
and I've accepted that.
I'm okay with that.
Tiffany (46:00):
Good for you.
Good for you.
We should do.
We should do like a, we shoulddo like a house tour sometime
walking people through and onlyshowing them the bad stuff.
Kelly (46:13):
Mm-hmm.
Tiffany (46:14):
highlighting like, oh, here's this new health rhythm
that is giving me life and sowonderful and here's how I'm
avoiding all the, the bad stuff.
But we should just like go opencabinets and drawers and stuff
and only find the bad stuff toshow people.
Kelly (46:31):
I love it.
Tiffany (46:33):
I have so many things to share.
I'm not going to, that'll makethis episode so long.
And we have to say goodbye now'cause it's 40 minutes.
Ah, it's 15 minutes long.
Okay, friends, this has beenfun.
Thank you for, thank you forbeing in the spaces where you
can ask questions and, likeKelly said, I don't know if we
got as personal as we wereexpecting but we'll do another
episode like this sometime.
So you guys are primed forthinking of your really personal
(46:56):
questions.
You can send those as an emailor something and we'll
categorize them for later.
But we'll see you next week fora regularly scheduled health
topic of of some kind
Kelly (47:09):
Of our choosing.
Bye ladies.
Hey ladies, if you're loving theshow and want to help us keep it
ad free so we can keep talkingabout all things birth and
women's health, without cuttingto an ad about electrolytes or
grass fed beef sticks, here ishow you can support us.
First, leave us a quick reviewor a rating.
(47:30):
It helps more women, new moms,and birth enthusiasts find our
show.
And it honestly means so much tous to be reminded that you love
what we are doing here.
Second, share this episode witha friend, with a doula buddy, or
anyone who is on their ownholistic health or natural birth
journey.
And third hop on our newsletterlist.
(47:52):
This is where we share.
Bonus goodies behind the scenesstuff.
Fun little extras you just won'thear on the show.
You can find that link to joinin our show notes below.
Thanks so much for being a partof this growing empowered
community.
We could not do it without you.
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