October 28, 2025 • 24 mins
The salient point of this podcast episode is the engaging dialogue featuring the esteemed John Marcus, a legendary figure in the realm of barbecue and television writing. During our conversation, we traversed various subjects, including the essence of authentic barbecue, which Marcus ardently advocates should be cooked over wood to preserve its integrity. Furthermore, we delved into the evolution of food shows, with Marcus expressing a critical perspective on the current landscape, suggesting a dramatic overhaul is warranted. Our discourse also touched upon personal anecdotes, reflecting on the joys and challenges of life, including his experiences in the entertainment industry. This episode encapsulates a blend of culinary wisdom and personal reflection, making for a compelling listening experience.
Links referenced in this episode:
Companies mentioned in this episode:
- Painted Hills Natural Beef
- Golf News Network
- Hilton
- Taco Bell
- Cosby Show
This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:45):
Welcome to Barbecue Nationwith JT and Leanne After Hours.
The conversation thatcontinued after the show was done.
Hey, everybody, it's jt.
And this is a special versionof Barbecue Nation.
It is brought to you in partby Painted Hills Natural Beef.
Beef you can be proud to serveyour family and friends.
That's Painted Hills Natural Beef.
Welcome to After Hours.
(01:05):
And we've got the legendaryJohn Marcus with us today, and it
has been quite a pleasure andhonor to talk to him, and we will
do it more and more.
I know as the time goes on.
Couple of fun questions Istart with.
Here, John, Jeff, am I allowedto cuss more on After Hours?
Yeah.
(01:26):
Oh, absolutely.
Wide open.
Wide open, baby.
So the times earlier when Isaid shitty and those got.
The only.
The only one I made.
The only one I made note ofwas the.
So I had to.
He's writing stars on a pieceof paper.
Yeah, I got a little note andthe time and David will bleep that
(01:46):
out.
Other than that, everything's good.
Okay, so.
If we declared you.
If Leanne declared you, put itthat way, supreme ruler of barbecue
for a week, what would you, assupreme ruler, decree?
That all barbecue should becooked over wood.
(02:10):
Okay, I like that.
Yeah.
All barbecue should be cookedover wood.
I know it's harder, it mightcost a little more, but it is barbecue
and it needs to have that kindof respect.
That's.
That's a top one.
Sure, sure.
Now here's one is right nearand dear to your heart.
How would you change if anychanges food shows on television?
(02:36):
One change I'd make is cancelevery fucking one of them.
Yeah, they.
Honest to God, they suck.
And.
And.
And they're like.
They're.
They're all the same.
That's right.
They're all the same.
You know Morley Ann on tv?
(02:57):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, that's.
That's happening, actually, shortly.
Yeah, man.
Where are you gonna be?
Where am I gonna see you?
Oh, well, Jeff and I didgrilling in the green, and it's.
We're cooking barbecue, andit's in tan.
Well, it.
You know, it's like a golflifestyle barbecue show.
Oh, fantastic.
What a great idea.
(03:17):
Yeah, so it's fun.
So it'll be Golf News Network,who's gentleman named Ryan Ballingy
owns it, and he's a friend ofmine, and he's just cleared Roku,
Amazon, Apple, Hulu, andYouTube TV is coming up, so they'll
have their own channel on that.
And we're part of the lineup, so.
(03:39):
That'S a great Idea.
That's a great mixing of the two.
Yeah.
It's not competition, youknow, it's just, you know, just having
fun at the grill and, you know.
Yeah.
And then we do a profile ofsomebody in the world of golf.
Not necessarily Tour pros, butpeople behind the scenes or what
have you.
(03:59):
And I didn't tell Leanne this,but yesterday I did another show
with the radio version withCharlie Reimer, who's a friend of
mine, ex Tour player, and nowhe's works for Hilton, and he's in.
There's a place called theMacklemore down in North Georgia,
big resort.
They're just finishing it, andwe've been invited to go there, hang
(04:24):
out with Charlie and play somegolf and check everything out, so.
Love that.
Yeah.
So it's all good.
I'm going to invite John.
Well, you can invite John that way.
John Marcus is going to play golf.
Do you.
Do you play golf?
No, my brothers do, but I'veonly been out.
Now, the answer should be no.
That's fine.
You should say yes becausethat's how you get the invite to
(04:48):
go.
Okay.
Yeah, that I'll be playing golf.
No, you can drive the cart.
You can drive the car.
I'm a great car driver.
There you go.
Okay.
And your choice of beverages.
So there you go.
Yeah.
Okay.
John, if you could cook forand then dine with a historical figure,
(05:10):
can be anybody in history,alive or dad, alive or dead, and
who would it be and what wouldbe on the menu?
I would want to cook forSigmund Freud.
Yeah.
You got a definite tie therewith your.
I. I have a tie.
(05:30):
I feel like I'm honorary, youknow, and also, we.
We share a love of fine cigars.
But that didn't end well for Sigmund.
No.
No.
Well, it could have been thefive pounds of coke at one time,
too.
That singing, that stuff Idon't do, thankfully.
But.
But a fine Cuban cigar.
(05:50):
But.
But I would like to cook forhim, so.
To talk about just, you know, the.
Our love of good food and itsmeaning in our life and that would.
He'd be a good guy to havethose talks with and, you know, then
he'd send me a bill, but I pay it.
I would pay it.
Yeah.
But it would be 20.
20 francs at the 19, you know,01 rate.
(06:14):
So you're good.
You're good.
I'm just.
I'm making sure my twin.
My twin brother was trying toreach me and I hung up on him.
Oh, no problem.
What's One thing you missabout your 20s, who.
I miss my lack of wisdom.
(06:39):
So you think you were smarterwhen you were 20 than you are now?
I mean, I had a lack of wisdomin my 20s, and I missed being ignorant.
I say I missed my ignorance.
Yeah.
I missed, like, because I wascharging into things to do things,
and I wasn't scared.
Yeah.
Now I have the wisdom, andit's like, oh, I'm not doing that
(07:01):
again.
Yeah.
You know, whoever coined thatterm ignorance is bliss.
They had it figured out.
That's a good.
It's a great saying.
Yeah.
I know that's a slightlycynical answer, but, you know, definitely
that.
And I miss the way I slept.
(07:22):
Yeah.
Oh, God, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That is.
That is true.
John, do you remember thefirst thing you got in trouble for
as a kid, if you ever got in trouble?
I sure did.
And involved the.
My twin brother, who we werejust talking about.
I got in trouble.
(07:43):
We liked ordering things fromthe Johnson Smith catalog.
It was called.
It was a novelty catalog outof Indiana, I think, where you get
all these little pranks andjokes and things.
And I remember my.
My twin brother and I, webought a fake dog poop.
Incredibly realistic.
(08:05):
Yeah.
And I remember they called itDoggy Done It.
And we ordered a Doggy Done It.
And we were in Mr. Morris'smath class.
That was sixth grade, and hewasn't there yet.
The class was full, ready to go.
And Stanley put the Doggy doneit on Mr. Morris's desk.
(08:29):
And when Mr. Morris sat down,I said, while you were gone, a Great
Dane was here.
And he didn't react at all.
And huge laughs from theclass, which is all that mattered.
We got a big laugh.
He said, I'll see you boysafter class.
And we got paddled.
Oh, yeah.
(08:49):
Oh, yeah.
Back in the paddle days.
Back in the paddle days.
And let me tell you something.
I mean, I don't want to soundlike, you know, so old school, and
I don't want to sound likeback to corporal punishment is what
we need to go.
I don't really feel thatnecessarily, but.
You learn your lesson.
Learned it.
I still can feel that stingwhen he gave it to us, so.
(09:11):
Oh, brother.
I got any more dog poop on anyother desks?
I. I'm over 60 years old, anda couple years ago at Christmas,
we had a guest here who shallremain nameless.
But I found on the Internet ahuman version of that.
(09:32):
And when they got up fromtheir chair to go to the restroom,
I put it in their chair.
And when they came back theyactually sat on it, and then they
hopped up and they were.
It was a great laugh.
I don't think.
I don't think.
I don't think they'll evercome back here.
But it was fun.
(09:57):
What's the biggest change youthink that should be made in food
advertising, John, if any?
The elimination of highlyprofessional food stylists.
Oh, my God, my sister's gonnakill you.
Because that's what she does.
You know, that's what she does.
Okay.
With the exception of your sister.
(10:20):
But your sister's one of thegood ones, and I'm sure.
There you go.
She makes things look real aswell as appetizing and appeal feeling.
But I think that I'm introuble with that.
When I got it.
I want to hear the truth anyway.
I want to hear it.
I want to hear it.
Well, I think that when foodis starting to look like I'm never
gonna go to McDonald's and geta burger that looks like it does
(10:43):
on the commercials.
Oh, hell, no.
Correct.
That's what I mean.
I'm referring to that kind offood styling, because we use food
stylists on the shows.
We have people come in on.
On the shows, and they helpmake things look a little better.
But, yeah, it's.
It's dishonesty.
It's like, you know, it's likemy profession working on these TV
(11:04):
shows, these comedies.
Laugh tracks.
Yeah.
Styling and laugh tracks arethe same.
And let's throw that one inthere with it, too.
And then, you know, you don'thave as many live comedies anymore.
But there are ways to whatthey call sweeten a TV show where
the laughter represents thelaughter that you had in the studio
when the joke was initially heard.
(11:26):
And we.
We worked really hard to notbump it up.
Gin up the laugh track, we made.
Sure.
But most shows don't do that, so.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, you were saying inthe regular show about McDonald's
you like.
And you just mentioned itabout, you know, like, Egg McMuffin
and all that, and the SteveMartin joke.
(11:47):
The one.
And I agree with that, but theone that gets me is Taco Bell.
I mean, their food costs haveto be negligible because they've
only got seven ingredientsthat they make everything out of,
you know.
And my sister is a foodstylist for Taco Bell.
Oh, there you go.
Is he really?
Yeah.
I'm so glad you just steppedin it, Jeff.
(12:10):
I did.
I feel a little better.
Where's that doggy?
Send me her number so I cancall her and apologize again.
That's all right.
She'll be fine.
John, what's the hardest thingyou ever did?
Like professionally?
Absolutely.
Number one thing that sticksout for you that goes, damn, that
(12:30):
was tough.
Well, I, I, you know, when andwhen, when I say this work was hard,
I don't mean to deny the factthat there was joy sometimes in a
great sense of accomplishmentbecause I think anything worth doing
is hard.
(12:50):
Anything worth doing is goingto be hard.
So I would have to say my weekto week on the Cosby show was very
challenging because we wereworking with a moving target.
Often with the story and the writing.
We, we had to punch up theshow until the last minute.
(13:11):
We were constantly.
And the hours were relentless.
So that's, that's what I'd say.
Sure.
That was, it's also people'sexpectations because it was just
so popular and they expectedthis, you know, the same excellence
every single show.
And that had to be stressful.
Yeah.
My mentor in, in writingcomedy, a guy named Earl Pomerantz
(13:34):
who worked, he was theshowrunner to begin with on the show
before he left.
And we would just kind ofstumble across the finish line and
the audience would like.
And everything was great aboutwhat we got done.
And Earl would turn to me atthe end of the taping and he'd say,
you know, our, our reward fordoing this is you got to do it again.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(13:57):
And so.
Because if you're doingsomething right, you're going to
be.
So it is, it is about oursense of personal best and excellence
and.
Yeah, it's, it's.
But you get a lot out of that,you know, until you get to be a certain
age and then you won't.
You don't want that anymore.
No, no, no.
(14:19):
What, what do you, what isyour favorite movie?
I'll just put it that way.
My.
Oh, my God, I'm gonna name a couple.
Yeah.
Because I can't do it.
And here's the way I judge this.
If I'm ever walking by the TVand it's on and this movie's on or
(14:41):
I'm scrolling and I get it,I'll stop and watch.
It's one of.
It can be a film where anymoment is a needle drop moment, anything
that's in the film will getyou to sit down and keep watching.
Well, the top one for me isthe wizard of Oz.
It's like it was gifted to usby other creatures from somewhere
(15:03):
else.
It's such a.
It's a movie about innocence.
It's a humanitarian film.
Humane.
It tells a beautifully crafted story.
And it was all done without cgi.
I know.
In that sense, put a tornadoin there.
They use.
They use a hose.
They use the ladies hose tomake a tornado.
(15:25):
Yeah.
It's crazy.
And I defy anyone to find abetter tornado anywhere.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Another one would be the movieHarvey, a black and white movie made
in 1950 from the.
I think it was 50 from theBroadway play that ran for three
(15:47):
years and starring JimmyStewart and his co star was a six
foot tall invisible rabbit.
Yep.
I still have one hangs with mein the studio.
Well, you know, Jeff, one ofthe reasons that character saw the
rabbit is he did a lot ofdrinking, you know.
(16:08):
Yeah, well, I kind of cut mostof that out of my life, but good.
You know, it's those goddamn flashbacks.
Yeah, that.
That's a bad side effect.
That's a bad sign.
Beautiful movie.
And it's about.
And there are a couple ofmonologues in that film that get
me.
I'm going to.
Is it still out there whereyou can see it?
(16:28):
Oh, yeah.
You can look at it on Amazon Prime.
I'm pretty sure that's one ofthe places I'll look around.
Yeah.
Black and white and old fashioned.
And it's like he's in a smalltown that reminds me of my town as
well.
What's the first thing youthink about, John, when you get up
(16:49):
in the morning?
Besides how much you hurt?
How much I heard and how muchI could use another couple of hours.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, the first thought thatcomes to me, I got another one.
I just think I got another one.
I got, I got another chance.
Another another day.
(17:10):
I really think that.
I think like, oh, I'm up and I'm.
I'm ambulatory and I'm on food.
Yeah.
And I feel pretty good.
Everything's checked outrecently, so I apparently am in operating
order.
But I don't want to be ascorny as saying I feel gratitude
(17:32):
because, you know, I'm Jewish.
You don't always feel gratitude.
That's good.
But.
But I do, I do feel.
I do feel.
Okay, we got about three morehere for you.
I am getting to the agethough, where occasionally I wake
up and go, where am I?
(17:53):
Yeah, there's that, there'sthat age.
Yeah.
I'm almost scared to ask this one.
Boxers, briefs or thongs?
I can go commando.
I don't.
First of all, why the hell is thongs.
Why, why would you.
Yeah, that's the recent Add on.
(18:15):
I don't know why.
Well, that all kind of stemmedfrom that Chris Lilly interview.
Not that he was wearing.
No, Chris wasn't wearing a thong.
But it just.
My mind just kind of rolledfrom that one.
You know, it all depends onwhere my weight is, so I tend to
(18:39):
gravitate toward.
It's a mixture of.
If they're called boxer briefs.
Right.
That's what.
That's the popular answerthese days.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I need the combo, I think.
And.
And.
And you know what?
There's a term in.
In underwear that I need tobring up right now that I just learned.
And because I like goingonline and buying, like, you know,
(19:01):
I treat myself to somethingfancy, but this fancy.
I won't name the brand.
Sometimes the front just getsa little bit kind of, like, shriveled.
Like the band.
Yeah.
Jeff, do you have this problem?
And, you know, I'm here.
I'm here.
Well, I mean.
(19:27):
And it has a term.
It's called.
It's called baconing.
Really?
It's called baconing when thefront band of your underwear.
That's why I was talking to him.
That's interesting.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah, Baconing.
So I want to leave youraudience with that.
I just love the term.
(19:48):
I like that term.
Yeah.
I'm gonna really.
You don't have any problemswith baconing, Leanne, do you?
No, no baconing.
No.
I'm gonna be.
I'm gonna really think twiceabout ordering a blt, though, next
time.
I know.
If, John, if you were ananimal, what animal would you be
and why?
(20:09):
Oh, my God.
I would be.
I would be a bald eagle.
There you go.
And.
Whereas we used to pronounceit back in Ohio, a bald eggle.
Eggle.
You say eggle in Ohio.
In central Ohio, not eagle.
Eggle.
Yeah.
And one of the reasons isbecause when a ball.
(20:33):
I have one up at my house upin the Hudson Valley, and I noticed
that whenever he comes out andlands somewhere, all the birds leave.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
They all go away.
That's a nice feature.
You know, you get kind oflonely as a boat, but.
But that's a nice feature.
(20:54):
Also, I love the way they fly,so I think I would be one of those.
I'll tell you what I wouldn't be.
I wouldn't be a horse.
Yeah.
I wouldn't.
I had a lot of experience withhorses, and I think I would pass
on that.
What's so bad about a horse?
Just because people ride you,they're kind of dumb.
(21:16):
But.
But it's.
It's more because those legsare fragile.
Stuff can happen.
Yeah.
And also, you're primitive.
You're quite primitive as a horse.
You have a lot of things from.
I. I took equestrian for abouteight months when I lived in Los
(21:36):
Angeles, and I was starting to jump.
And don't ask me why I didthis, but, you know, I hadn't discovered
barbecue yet, let's put itthat way.
Yeah.
And I'm on the horse and we'rejumping like four or five inches,
and suddenly the horse rolledover and I got thrown clear so it
didn't roll on me.
(21:56):
And I went up to theinstructor as soon as I dusted myself
off and said, okay, why didthis happen?
And he said, it happenedbecause you held the riding crop
too high.
And when a horse sees it outof the corner of their eye, they
think it's a snake, and theirinstincts are to roll over on the
snake.
That's interesting.
I think that's.
(22:16):
But anyway.
It might be.
You know, I spent 40 yearswith horses and I've never heard
that.
Well, there you go.
I'm glad I got to tell youthat story there.
You.
Okay, last question.
What would be your last mealon death row?
Oh, my God.
(22:41):
Well, the main protein wouldbe the 123A's, the beef short ribs,
the whole plate flat short ribs.
Okay.
Cooked by Leanne.
Oh, thank you.
I want Leanne to cook them.
I'd bring a bazillion of themso you wouldn't have to complete
that death row sentence.
(23:03):
Bring me a lot.
I would just like to havemashed potatoes with that and no
vegetables.
There you go.
And I will tell you, John, shemakes a kick ass vanilla wafer cheesecake.
You have to try that.
I'm in.
I would have that.
Yeah.
So I'll make that for dessert.
Okay.
There you go.
(23:24):
Thank you.
All right.
John Marcus, Emmy awardwinning writer, barbecue hall of
fame pitmaster.
God, I'm really glad we got achance to have you on the show.
I've had so much fun today.
Oh, good.
My pleasure.
It's really good.
And I have to tell you that,you know, the whole time that your
picture was up there and I'mlooking at these ribs behind you,
(23:44):
I just got so hungry.
See now, now you've got a hankering.
For ribs, so really do this subliminal.
It really works like hell.
It's great.
Yeah, yeah.
Just don't call Al FR drinkingfor his room, okay?
Right, right.
Al, to this day, is so pissedat me.
He said you've made a careerout of trashing my ribs, and you
(24:07):
continue to do so.
I will not stop with my pleasures.
With great glee, I might add.
Anyway, we got to get out ofhere, John.
Thank you, Leanne.
Thank you.
And we'll be back next weekwith another edition of After Hours
here on Barbecue Nation.
Go out, have some fun, cooksome barbecue.
Remember our motto, turn it,don't burn it, and please take care
(24:28):
and be kind.
Welcome to Barbecue Nationwith JT and Leanne After Hours.
The conversation thatcontinued after the show was done.
Hey, everybody, it's jt.
And this is a special versionof Barbecue Nation.
It is brought to you in partby Painted Hills Natural Beef.
Beef you can be proud to serveyour family and friends.
That's Painted Hills Natural Beef.
Welcome to After Hours.
(01:05):
And we've got the legendaryJohn Marcus with us today, and it
has been quite a pleasure andhonor to talk to him, and we will
do it more and more.
I know as the time goes on.
Couple of fun questions Istart with.
Here, John, Jeff, am I allowedto cuss more on After Hours?
Yeah.
(01:26):
Oh, absolutely.
Wide open.
Wide open, baby.
So the times earlier when Isaid shitty and those got.
The only.
The only one I made.
The only one I made note ofwas the.
So I had to.
He's writing stars on a pieceof paper.
Yeah, I got a little note andthe time and David will bleep that
(01:46):
out.
Other than that, everything's good.
Okay, so.
If we declared you.
If Leanne declared you, put itthat way, supreme ruler of barbecue
for a week, what would you, assupreme ruler, decree?
That all barbecue should becooked over wood.
(02:10):
Okay, I like that.
Yeah.
All barbecue should be cookedover wood.
I know it's harder, it mightcost a little more, but it is barbecue
and it needs to have that kindof respect.
That's.
That's a top one.
Sure, sure.
Now here's one is right nearand dear to your heart.
How would you change if anychanges food shows on television?
(02:36):
One change I'd make is cancelevery fucking one of them.
Yeah, they.
Honest to God, they suck.
And.
And.
And they're like.
They're.
They're all the same.
That's right.
They're all the same.
You know Morley Ann on tv?
(02:57):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, that's.
That's happening, actually, shortly.
Yeah, man.
Where are you gonna be?
Where am I gonna see you?
Oh, well, Jeff and I didgrilling in the green, and it's.
We're cooking barbecue, andit's in tan.
Well, it.
You know, it's like a golflifestyle barbecue show.
Oh, fantastic.
What a great idea.
(03:17):
Yeah, so it's fun.
So it'll be Golf News Network,who's gentleman named Ryan Ballingy
owns it, and he's a friend ofmine, and he's just cleared Roku,
Amazon, Apple, Hulu, andYouTube TV is coming up, so they'll
have their own channel on that.
And we're part of the lineup, so.
(03:39):
That'S a great Idea.
That's a great mixing of the two.
Yeah.
It's not competition, youknow, it's just, you know, just having
fun at the grill and, you know.
Yeah.
And then we do a profile ofsomebody in the world of golf.
Not necessarily Tour pros, butpeople behind the scenes or what
have you.
(03:59):
And I didn't tell Leanne this,but yesterday I did another show
with the radio version withCharlie Reimer, who's a friend of
mine, ex Tour player, and nowhe's works for Hilton, and he's in.
There's a place called theMacklemore down in North Georgia,
big resort.
They're just finishing it, andwe've been invited to go there, hang
(04:24):
out with Charlie and play somegolf and check everything out, so.
Love that.
Yeah.
So it's all good.
I'm going to invite John.
Well, you can invite John that way.
John Marcus is going to play golf.
Do you.
Do you play golf?
No, my brothers do, but I'veonly been out.
Now, the answer should be no.
That's fine.
You should say yes becausethat's how you get the invite to
(04:48):
go.
Okay.
Yeah, that I'll be playing golf.
No, you can drive the cart.
You can drive the car.
I'm a great car driver.
There you go.
Okay.
And your choice of beverages.
So there you go.
Yeah.
Okay.
John, if you could cook forand then dine with a historical figure,
(05:10):
can be anybody in history,alive or dad, alive or dead, and
who would it be and what wouldbe on the menu?
I would want to cook forSigmund Freud.
Yeah.
You got a definite tie therewith your.
I. I have a tie.
(05:30):
I feel like I'm honorary, youknow, and also, we.
We share a love of fine cigars.
But that didn't end well for Sigmund.
No.
No.
Well, it could have been thefive pounds of coke at one time,
too.
That singing, that stuff Idon't do, thankfully.
But.
But a fine Cuban cigar.
(05:50):
But.
But I would like to cook forhim, so.
To talk about just, you know, the.
Our love of good food and itsmeaning in our life and that would.
He'd be a good guy to havethose talks with and, you know, then
he'd send me a bill, but I pay it.
I would pay it.
Yeah.
But it would be 20.
20 francs at the 19, you know,01 rate.
(06:14):
So you're good.
You're good.
I'm just.
I'm making sure my twin.
My twin brother was trying toreach me and I hung up on him.
Oh, no problem.
What's One thing you missabout your 20s, who.
I miss my lack of wisdom.
(06:39):
So you think you were smarterwhen you were 20 than you are now?
I mean, I had a lack of wisdomin my 20s, and I missed being ignorant.
I say I missed my ignorance.
Yeah.
I missed, like, because I wascharging into things to do things,
and I wasn't scared.
Yeah.
Now I have the wisdom, andit's like, oh, I'm not doing that
(07:01):
again.
Yeah.
You know, whoever coined thatterm ignorance is bliss.
They had it figured out.
That's a good.
It's a great saying.
Yeah.
I know that's a slightlycynical answer, but, you know, definitely
that.
And I miss the way I slept.
(07:22):
Yeah.
Oh, God, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That is.
That is true.
John, do you remember thefirst thing you got in trouble for
as a kid, if you ever got in trouble?
I sure did.
And involved the.
My twin brother, who we werejust talking about.
I got in trouble.
(07:43):
We liked ordering things fromthe Johnson Smith catalog.
It was called.
It was a novelty catalog outof Indiana, I think, where you get
all these little pranks andjokes and things.
And I remember my.
My twin brother and I, webought a fake dog poop.
Incredibly realistic.
(08:05):
Yeah.
And I remember they called itDoggy Done It.
And we ordered a Doggy Done It.
And we were in Mr. Morris'smath class.
That was sixth grade, and hewasn't there yet.
The class was full, ready to go.
And Stanley put the Doggy doneit on Mr. Morris's desk.
(08:29):
And when Mr. Morris sat down,I said, while you were gone, a Great
Dane was here.
And he didn't react at all.
And huge laughs from theclass, which is all that mattered.
We got a big laugh.
He said, I'll see you boysafter class.
And we got paddled.
Oh, yeah.
(08:49):
Oh, yeah.
Back in the paddle days.
Back in the paddle days.
And let me tell you something.
I mean, I don't want to soundlike, you know, so old school, and
I don't want to sound likeback to corporal punishment is what
we need to go.
I don't really feel thatnecessarily, but.
You learn your lesson.
Learned it.
I still can feel that stingwhen he gave it to us, so.
(09:11):
Oh, brother.
I got any more dog poop on anyother desks?
I. I'm over 60 years old, anda couple years ago at Christmas,
we had a guest here who shallremain nameless.
But I found on the Internet ahuman version of that.
(09:32):
And when they got up fromtheir chair to go to the restroom,
I put it in their chair.
And when they came back theyactually sat on it, and then they
hopped up and they were.
It was a great laugh.
I don't think.
I don't think.
I don't think they'll evercome back here.
But it was fun.
(09:57):
What's the biggest change youthink that should be made in food
advertising, John, if any?
The elimination of highlyprofessional food stylists.
Oh, my God, my sister's gonnakill you.
Because that's what she does.
You know, that's what she does.
Okay.
With the exception of your sister.
(10:20):
But your sister's one of thegood ones, and I'm sure.
There you go.
She makes things look real aswell as appetizing and appeal feeling.
But I think that I'm introuble with that.
When I got it.
I want to hear the truth anyway.
I want to hear it.
I want to hear it.
Well, I think that when foodis starting to look like I'm never
gonna go to McDonald's and geta burger that looks like it does
(10:43):
on the commercials.
Oh, hell, no.
Correct.
That's what I mean.
I'm referring to that kind offood styling, because we use food
stylists on the shows.
We have people come in on.
On the shows, and they helpmake things look a little better.
But, yeah, it's.
It's dishonesty.
It's like, you know, it's likemy profession working on these TV
(11:04):
shows, these comedies.
Laugh tracks.
Yeah.
Styling and laugh tracks arethe same.
And let's throw that one inthere with it, too.
And then, you know, you don'thave as many live comedies anymore.
But there are ways to whatthey call sweeten a TV show where
the laughter represents thelaughter that you had in the studio
when the joke was initially heard.
(11:26):
And we.
We worked really hard to notbump it up.
Gin up the laugh track, we made.
Sure.
But most shows don't do that, so.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, you were saying inthe regular show about McDonald's
you like.
And you just mentioned itabout, you know, like, Egg McMuffin
and all that, and the SteveMartin joke.
(11:47):
The one.
And I agree with that, but theone that gets me is Taco Bell.
I mean, their food costs haveto be negligible because they've
only got seven ingredientsthat they make everything out of,
you know.
And my sister is a foodstylist for Taco Bell.
Oh, there you go.
Is he really?
Yeah.
I'm so glad you just steppedin it, Jeff.
(12:10):
I did.
I feel a little better.
Where's that doggy?
Send me her number so I cancall her and apologize again.
That's all right.
She'll be fine.
John, what's the hardest thingyou ever did?
Like professionally?
Absolutely.
Number one thing that sticksout for you that goes, damn, that
(12:30):
was tough.
Well, I, I, you know, when andwhen, when I say this work was hard,
I don't mean to deny the factthat there was joy sometimes in a
great sense of accomplishmentbecause I think anything worth doing
is hard.
(12:50):
Anything worth doing is goingto be hard.
So I would have to say my weekto week on the Cosby show was very
challenging because we wereworking with a moving target.
Often with the story and the writing.
We, we had to punch up theshow until the last minute.
(13:11):
We were constantly.
And the hours were relentless.
So that's, that's what I'd say.
Sure.
That was, it's also people'sexpectations because it was just
so popular and they expectedthis, you know, the same excellence
every single show.
And that had to be stressful.
Yeah.
My mentor in, in writingcomedy, a guy named Earl Pomerantz
(13:34):
who worked, he was theshowrunner to begin with on the show
before he left.
And we would just kind ofstumble across the finish line and
the audience would like.
And everything was great aboutwhat we got done.
And Earl would turn to me atthe end of the taping and he'd say,
you know, our, our reward fordoing this is you got to do it again.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(13:57):
And so.
Because if you're doingsomething right, you're going to
be.
So it is, it is about oursense of personal best and excellence
and.
Yeah, it's, it's.
But you get a lot out of that,you know, until you get to be a certain
age and then you won't.
You don't want that anymore.
No, no, no.
(14:19):
What, what do you, what isyour favorite movie?
I'll just put it that way.
My.
Oh, my God, I'm gonna name a couple.
Yeah.
Because I can't do it.
And here's the way I judge this.
If I'm ever walking by the TVand it's on and this movie's on or
(14:41):
I'm scrolling and I get it,I'll stop and watch.
It's one of.
It can be a film where anymoment is a needle drop moment, anything
that's in the film will getyou to sit down and keep watching.
Well, the top one for me isthe wizard of Oz.
It's like it was gifted to usby other creatures from somewhere
(15:03):
else.
It's such a.
It's a movie about innocence.
It's a humanitarian film.
Humane.
It tells a beautifully crafted story.
And it was all done without cgi.
I know.
In that sense, put a tornadoin there.
They use.
They use a hose.
They use the ladies hose tomake a tornado.
(15:25):
Yeah.
It's crazy.
And I defy anyone to find abetter tornado anywhere.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Another one would be the movieHarvey, a black and white movie made
in 1950 from the.
I think it was 50 from theBroadway play that ran for three
(15:47):
years and starring JimmyStewart and his co star was a six
foot tall invisible rabbit.
Yep.
I still have one hangs with mein the studio.
Well, you know, Jeff, one ofthe reasons that character saw the
rabbit is he did a lot ofdrinking, you know.
(16:08):
Yeah, well, I kind of cut mostof that out of my life, but good.
You know, it's those goddamn flashbacks.
Yeah, that.
That's a bad side effect.
That's a bad sign.
Beautiful movie.
And it's about.
And there are a couple ofmonologues in that film that get
me.
I'm going to.
Is it still out there whereyou can see it?
(16:28):
Oh, yeah.
You can look at it on Amazon Prime.
I'm pretty sure that's one ofthe places I'll look around.
Yeah.
Black and white and old fashioned.
And it's like he's in a smalltown that reminds me of my town as
well.
What's the first thing youthink about, John, when you get up
(16:49):
in the morning?
Besides how much you hurt?
How much I heard and how muchI could use another couple of hours.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, the first thought thatcomes to me, I got another one.
I just think I got another one.
I got, I got another chance.
Another another day.
(17:10):
I really think that.
I think like, oh, I'm up and I'm.
I'm ambulatory and I'm on food.
Yeah.
And I feel pretty good.
Everything's checked outrecently, so I apparently am in operating
order.
But I don't want to be ascorny as saying I feel gratitude
(17:32):
because, you know, I'm Jewish.
You don't always feel gratitude.
That's good.
But.
But I do, I do feel.
I do feel.
Okay, we got about three morehere for you.
I am getting to the agethough, where occasionally I wake
up and go, where am I?
(17:53):
Yeah, there's that, there'sthat age.
Yeah.
I'm almost scared to ask this one.
Boxers, briefs or thongs?
I can go commando.
I don't.
First of all, why the hell is thongs.
Why, why would you.
Yeah, that's the recent Add on.
(18:15):
I don't know why.
Well, that all kind of stemmedfrom that Chris Lilly interview.
Not that he was wearing.
No, Chris wasn't wearing a thong.
But it just.
My mind just kind of rolledfrom that one.
You know, it all depends onwhere my weight is, so I tend to
(18:39):
gravitate toward.
It's a mixture of.
If they're called boxer briefs.
Right.
That's what.
That's the popular answerthese days.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I need the combo, I think.
And.
And.
And you know what?
There's a term in.
In underwear that I need tobring up right now that I just learned.
And because I like goingonline and buying, like, you know,
(19:01):
I treat myself to somethingfancy, but this fancy.
I won't name the brand.
Sometimes the front just getsa little bit kind of, like, shriveled.
Like the band.
Yeah.
Jeff, do you have this problem?
And, you know, I'm here.
I'm here.
Well, I mean.
(19:27):
And it has a term.
It's called.
It's called baconing.
Really?
It's called baconing when thefront band of your underwear.
That's why I was talking to him.
That's interesting.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah, Baconing.
So I want to leave youraudience with that.
I just love the term.
(19:48):
I like that term.
Yeah.
I'm gonna really.
You don't have any problemswith baconing, Leanne, do you?
No, no baconing.
No.
I'm gonna be.
I'm gonna really think twiceabout ordering a blt, though, next
time.
I know.
If, John, if you were ananimal, what animal would you be
and why?
(20:09):
Oh, my God.
I would be.
I would be a bald eagle.
There you go.
And.
Whereas we used to pronounceit back in Ohio, a bald eggle.
Eggle.
You say eggle in Ohio.
In central Ohio, not eagle.
Eggle.
Yeah.
And one of the reasons isbecause when a ball.
(20:33):
I have one up at my house upin the Hudson Valley, and I noticed
that whenever he comes out andlands somewhere, all the birds leave.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
They all go away.
That's a nice feature.
You know, you get kind oflonely as a boat, but.
But that's a nice feature.
(20:54):
Also, I love the way they fly,so I think I would be one of those.
I'll tell you what I wouldn't be.
I wouldn't be a horse.
Yeah.
I wouldn't.
I had a lot of experience withhorses, and I think I would pass
on that.
What's so bad about a horse?
Just because people ride you,they're kind of dumb.
(21:16):
But.
But it's.
It's more because those legsare fragile.
Stuff can happen.
Yeah.
And also, you're primitive.
You're quite primitive as a horse.
You have a lot of things from.
I. I took equestrian for abouteight months when I lived in Los
(21:36):
Angeles, and I was starting to jump.
And don't ask me why I didthis, but, you know, I hadn't discovered
barbecue yet, let's put itthat way.
Yeah.
And I'm on the horse and we'rejumping like four or five inches,
and suddenly the horse rolledover and I got thrown clear so it
didn't roll on me.
(21:56):
And I went up to theinstructor as soon as I dusted myself
off and said, okay, why didthis happen?
And he said, it happenedbecause you held the riding crop
too high.
And when a horse sees it outof the corner of their eye, they
think it's a snake, and theirinstincts are to roll over on the
snake.
That's interesting.
I think that's.
(22:16):
But anyway.
It might be.
You know, I spent 40 yearswith horses and I've never heard
that.
Well, there you go.
I'm glad I got to tell youthat story there.
You.
Okay, last question.
What would be your last mealon death row?
Oh, my God.
(22:41):
Well, the main protein wouldbe the 123A's, the beef short ribs,
the whole plate flat short ribs.
Okay.
Cooked by Leanne.
Oh, thank you.
I want Leanne to cook them.
I'd bring a bazillion of themso you wouldn't have to complete
that death row sentence.
(23:03):
Bring me a lot.
I would just like to havemashed potatoes with that and no
vegetables.
There you go.
And I will tell you, John, shemakes a kick ass vanilla wafer cheesecake.
You have to try that.
I'm in.
I would have that.
Yeah.
So I'll make that for dessert.
Okay.
There you go.
(23:24):
Thank you.
All right.
John Marcus, Emmy awardwinning writer, barbecue hall of
fame pitmaster.
God, I'm really glad we got achance to have you on the show.
I've had so much fun today.
Oh, good.
My pleasure.
It's really good.
And I have to tell you that,you know, the whole time that your
picture was up there and I'mlooking at these ribs behind you,
(23:44):
I just got so hungry.
See now, now you've got a hankering.
For ribs, so really do this subliminal.
It really works like hell.
It's great.
Yeah, yeah.
Just don't call Al FR drinkingfor his room, okay?
Right, right.
Al, to this day, is so pissedat me.
He said you've made a careerout of trashing my ribs, and you
(24:07):
continue to do so.
I will not stop with my pleasures.
With great glee, I might add.
Anyway, we got to get out ofhere, John.
Thank you, Leanne.
Thank you.
And we'll be back next weekwith another edition of After Hours
here on Barbecue Nation.
Go out, have some fun, cooksome barbecue.
Remember our motto, turn it,don't burn it, and please take care
(24:28):
and be kind.
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