July 29, 2025 • 40 mins
Have you ever considered that your body might be your greatest ally—not your enemy—in recovery from unwanted sexual behaviors? Many of us approach healing as primarily spiritual or psychological, overlooking the role our physical existence plays in transformation.
Your body isn't just a vessel carrying your spirit through life; it's an integrated part of who God designed you to be. From the very beginning, Genesis shows humanity as formed from dust and brought to life by divine breath—we are simultaneously matter and spirit. This isn't incidental to your recovery journey—it's foundational.
In this episode, Josh Glaser and James Craig explore five physical disciplines that God has woven into our design as assets for healing: breathing, hydration, eating, sleeping, and exercise. These aren't merely biological necessities but theological realities that point to our dependence on our Creator. Each discipline, when practiced intentionally, helps regulate our bodies and minds, creating space for healthier choices and emotional stability.
Resources:
For more information or to join click one of the links below.
Manna - Men seeking freedom from unwanted sexual behavior, temptation, and shame.
Oasis - Women seeking freedom from unwanted sexual behavior, temptation, and shame.
Compass - Wives seeking healing from betrayal and broken trust.
Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole
👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What if you could work with your body for recovery
instead of just against it?
Those of us dealing with sexualsin struggles probably know
that our brains develop theseneural pathways that end up
working against the new heartthat God has given us our
heart's desire for sobriety, forhealing.
(00:21):
But what if your body canactually be a God-ordained asset
to your healing?
I'm James Craig, spiritualcoach and director of projects
here at Regen, and I'm joined byauthor, speaker and executive
director of Regeneration, joshGlaser.
Josh, you're laughing becausewe don't usually introduce you
(00:43):
that way, but it's true, youhave an awesome book.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
You make me sound very.
I was like who's on the podcast?
Is it an author?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Josh and I are going to dive into the importance of
considering our physicalexistence when it comes to
walking in the spirit.
That's an interesting sentenceright there.
We're going to unpack that andwe're going to look at five
different categories of physicaldisciplines to aid your journey
towards sexual integrity, butthese can also aid healing from
(01:12):
betrayal trauma.
This can also give you wisdomwhen you're discipling your kids
.
We were talking before and mostof us weren't actually taught
how to work with our bodies Atleast Josh and I weren't and
many that we walk with have notbeen taught how to work with our
bodies At least Josh and Iweren't and many that we walk
with have not been taught how towalk with our bodies for the
good of walking with Jesus.
So, josh, let's start out bytalking about this tension that
(01:34):
I'm already raising.
Aren't these issues aren'tsexual sin, struggles or even
betrayal trauma?
Aren't these spiritual issuesto some degree?
Or perhaps you could saypsychological to some degree?
Like, I want us to unpack alittle bit of why we actually
believe really deeply at Regenthat these aren't just purely
(01:59):
spiritual issues, and one way weput this actually in the spirit
module of Awaken, which is themodule we run from July through
September, that we're actuallycalled to walk in the spirit
bodily, because we are matterand spirit by God's design.
So let me just read thisscripture.
Then I want to hear some ofyour thoughts about this.
I know you have a lot of them.
I probably learned a lot ofthis from you.
(02:21):
But Genesis 2, 7 says that thelord god formed a man, formed
man from the dust of the groundand breathed into his nostrils
the breath of life, and manbecome, became a living being.
So we see both uh, dust, whichis a way to talk about matter,
right, physical nature, and wesee this breath of life, the
(02:43):
spirit of God.
We see both right at thebeginning here in Genesis.
So you had just said we'rematter and spirit yeah, genesis
2 7 is the framing text.
I just wanted to give you asecond to respond, if you have
something there to jump in with.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Again, we're emphasizing the physical today,
but these are veryinterconnected, is what we're
trying to say, yeah, I would sayin my experience and this is
(03:30):
just from my personal life, butalso in ministry for the last 25
years that we probably can'tsay enough.
Whatased in a body, that we areto be a human, is to be both
simultaneously, and you removeone from the other and you cease
to be a human.
And I think, especially when itcomes to understanding
ourselves to be body creatures,that we don't just have a body,
we are in fact body, uh, is iskey.
And and I say that I don'tthink we a body, we are in fact
body is key.
And I say that I don't think wecan say it enough, in part
because I've been saying thatand learning that for going on
(03:52):
at least probably 15 years now,thanks in large part to theology
of the body, pope John PaulII's, theology of the body.
And still I find myself kind ofdrifting into this kind of
territory of almost consideringmyself, thinking about myself as
primarily a mind, primarily aspirit.
And we live in a culture thatvery, very, very much kind of
(04:16):
considers the human person askind of the split between body
and spirit, just the language weuse, the way we think about our
bodies, we almost kind of thinkof our bodies as an accessory
that we wear and you canmanipulate it, you can change it
, you can dye it, you can workout so it looks better.
You can have surgery so itlooks better.
You can have surgery so thatyou look very, very different
(04:36):
than you do, or so that you evenlook like you're a different
sex than you are.
And yet scripture teaches usclearly that we are our bodies.
There's something really uniquethere that's more than we can
unpack today, but I think sowhen it comes to the idea of
recovery and growing in our ownsexual integrity, our bodies
(04:59):
have got to play a part in thatin so many ways.
And I do want to just give alittle bit of a more, just a
heads up to people.
You mentioned that we're goingto talk about some physical
activities, disciplines, today,and I've taken a peek at your
notes.
They're not what most peopleare thinking.
I think most people would go ohyeah, we're going to talk about
(05:21):
Christian like things you dowith your bodies.
It'll be like traditional,quote-unquote spiritual
disciplines which, by the way,are all things we do with our
bodies.
But yeah, but you're actuallygoing at almost a different
level altogether, yeah, whichI'm excited to get into anyway.
So that's yeah so two cents.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
So we often say that our bodies are a temple.
Right, it's, it's straight outof the new testament.
Your body is a temple.
And I don't know about you,josh, but I hear that and I'm
like, okay, I'm supposed to takecare of my body, but I've never
really had someone unpackreally in detail what that looks
like.
I'm a detailed thinker, as youknow very well, and if I can't
really connect that veryabstract concept to more
(06:03):
particular, I'm kind of leftlike okay, like I shouldn't be
sexually sinning, obviously,like my body's a temple.
But we don't actually realizethat when it says in scripture
it's another good framing textlove your neighbor as you love
yourself.
And it also says in scriptureand this is going to sound
controversial to our modern earsbut it says no one hates their
(06:26):
own body.
Now, I know we live in a timewhere we can, in a sense, hate
our own body, but I still thinkthat the scriptural vision there
is true that if we want tolearn what it means to love
other people, but we've neveractually learned how to take
care of ourselves, we're notgoing to be able to do it
effectively.
So many of us were told tobegin taking care of our parents
(06:49):
or our siblings in unhealthyways before we actually learned
how to take care of our own body, and that's a huge gap in
discipleship.
Jay stringer, in unwanted,actually says that it's a
parent's responsibility to teachtheir children about things
like nutrition, things likeexercise and sleep.
So we're going to do a littlebit of that today.
(07:10):
We're going to talk aboutalmost like yeah, like you said,
josh, a foundational level ofwhat does it mean to walk in the
spirit, bodily, or to walkbodily, spiritually, however you
want to think about it.
So five key areas, okay, fivekey areas of physical
disciplines that we're going toconsider today.
There's so many, there could bemore, but these are so
fundamental and I'm going toorder them in terms of how
(07:34):
quickly you will die if youforsake these.
That's how fundamental we'regetting, okay.
So first category is breathing.
Second is hydration, third iseating.
Fourth is sleeping is sleeping,and fifth is exercise.
I'm not sure that you willdirectly die if you don't get
exercise right, maybe, yeah, Imean, um, god be with those who
(07:55):
are physically unable toliterally get out of bed or
whatever, um, but we do knowthat that's not how god designed
our bodies to work, thatavoiding exercise actually
contributes to a host ofphysical and mental issues.
So we're going to start outwith the most fundamental here,
which is breathing.
Okay, josh, what has been yourexperience with utilizing your
(08:19):
breath this very breath that wejust heard about in Genesis 2-7,
this very breath that we justheard about in Genesis 2-7 as an
asset toward walking with Jesus, as an asset toward just
walking?
Well, you know, being at peaceor resting or whatever Like.
How have you seen your breathcome into play here or not?
This could be brand new for you.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I don't actually know which of these you're more
familiar with than not.
Today.
It is relatively new for meWell, I shouldn't say new,
relatively untapped for me.
I've been led through somebreathing exercises, ranging
from breath prayers going wayback for me in my spiritual
journey, which have beenbeautiful and wonderful assets,
to using specific kinds ofbreathing to help me regulate
(09:05):
emotions, but it's it's notformed in me, it's not a habit,
like I don't.
I don't typically think of itof breathing as a go-to when it
comes to a spiritual asset, um,or a recovery asset, although
I'm, I'm trying to learn, so I'm, I'm eager for you to dive in
here.
So, and, by the way, what'sfascinating to me?
Like, I don't know that, any ofus, maybe some, but I can't, I
(09:28):
don't know anybody that wouldsay like, yeah, one of the
things my parents taught me howto do when I was a kid was how
to breathe.
Maybe a coach or maybe a band.
I met one guy, a counselor whodid that?
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Oh yeah, like an athlete, athletic coach or band
teacher right, but do it, butbut for a specific purpose.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Not like you know, like because because we, because
we do, we know how to breathe.
You know it's one of I mean, Idon't know if it's just you know
we come out of the womb andmaybe we get a you know a smack
from the doctor to help clearour lungs and then we breathe.
But but we also I do know thatwe learn unhealthy habits when
it comes to breathing.
I was talking to somebody theother day who was like literally
(10:10):
in the middle of an anxietyattack and was was going like
this and I was like what's,what's going on with the breath
there?
And and they said I'm, I'mtaking deep breaths.
I was like those are not deepbreaths, it's very shallow
breathing, but they're trying toregulate so anyway.
But so what, when you thinkabout breathing as an asset to
(10:32):
our spiritual growth, to ourrecovery, what are you talking
about?
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Well, first of all, I think about the fact that we're
needy, and this is one of themost liberating realities that
we can realize as followers ofJesus.
We're not unlimited beings.
We're not like we said.
We're not pure spirits, likeangels.
We need to breathe.
So I looked it up world record24 minutes and 37.36 seconds of
(10:57):
a man named Budimir Sobat, fromCroatia, back in 2021.
So the absolute longest.
As far as we know, a human hasever not breathed and still is
alive, and he used oxygen before.
You know, this wasn't just likea let me just go underwater and
hold my breath.
So less than way less than anhour is the max you could
(11:19):
survive without breath.
So the first thing I just wantto highlight is sometimes we can
be so focused on the spirituallike you said earlier, josh that
we don't realize we are limited.
We're not unlimited beings.
We have things like the need tobreathe and all these other
things we're going to get intothat God has actually wired us
to need.
(11:40):
In other words, he's created usto be dependent on him.
I think that that can beliberating.
There's actually a book that Ithink it won runner up for book
of the year from CT a few yearsago, but it's by a guy named
Kelly Capik.
I haven't been able to read ityet, but I'm actually forgetting
the title right now.
(12:00):
You could look up his name,you'll find it.
But basically, it's the good ofhonoring our limits.
Our culture teaches us thatwe're limitless.
I've literally seen billboardsaround la where I live, from a
hospital usc hospital where thetagline is limitless and part of
what we're saying today is,starting with breath, that God
(12:22):
has actually designed us to beneedy, to rely on his sustaining
breath.
If God didn't design theatmospheric pressure to be
exactly what it is, we would notbe able to breathe in the air
that we breathe.
If God didn't provide us trees,we would not be able to breathe
the oxygen we need.
So I just want to start withthat idea that this puts us in a
(12:43):
posture.
All five of these, when handledwell, I think, put us in a
posture.
All five of these, when handledwell, I think, put us in a
posture of realizing I can't,just like go live in the spirit
in the desert without any wateror air or food, like at some
point.
We need each of these things.
We need them from God's handwouldn't what it?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
what strikes me is the irony of you're introducing
these as as things for us to doto serve as an asset to our
spiritual lives, serve as anasset to our bodily lives,
assets to us as in recovery fromunwanted sexual behaviors.
Dig into what these things areright out of the gates.
(13:25):
Your first point is they pointto our dependency that we are
designed by God to need, andthat's very good.
That strikes me as a prettycompelling case against the idea
that we're spiritual.
Disciplines are, in and ofthemselves, things that
(13:45):
originate from us.
They're things that we do, orthings that even move us towards
some kind of legalism thatwe're earning something because
they demonstrate our neediness.
And if they demonstrate ourneediness, then they put us in
relationship with a God whodesires to meet our needs.
I love that.
(14:05):
What a place to begin.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
So part of what he has designed us to do is to
breathe deeply.
I'm gonna get really practicalhere.
Our lungs and this is gonnashow how little anatomy I know I
should have had my good friendwho's a doctor on with us, josh,
but our lungs basically push upagainst our diaphragm, which
basically separates our lungsfrom our intestines.
(14:30):
So we were actually designed byGod to breathe deeply to the
bottom of our lungs.
What this does is it helps ourbrain know that we're in a safe
place, and when we're not inthat place, god designed us so
that if a lion were chasingafter us, we're not going to
breathe that deeply, because tobreathe shallow in the situation
(14:53):
of running from a wild animalhelps our body know that we need
to be in fight or flight mode.
But you can see immediately ifyou're thinking about it.
We don't want to be there allthe time.
If we're not literally, if ourlives are not in physical danger
or some other sort of realdanger, we want to be regulated,
(15:13):
and so one of the first keysfor understanding how God
designed breath to work is thatwe're meant to breathe all the
way down to the bottom of ourlungs, and I've done this a lot
with clients.
Josh, I start out most coachingsessions with prayer,
meditating on Jesus and takingdeep breaths, and one of the
things some of my clients havenoticed is like whoa, like my
chest hurts to breathe thisdeeply, to push down to the
(15:36):
bottom of my lungs against mydiaphragm.
It hurts because I'm so used toliving at the top of my lungs,
I'm so used to living in thatkind of sympathetic nervous
system fight, flight, fawn orlungs.
I'm so used to living in thatkind of sympathetic nervous
system fight, flight, fawn orfreeze I'm just stuck there.
And so to actually take two,five minutes, whatever we do,
it's kind of a shock to thesystem sometimes to breathe that
(15:58):
deeply.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Yeah, okay.
So let me slow you down alittle bit, cause you talked
about parasympathetic nervoussystem.
You talked about not wanting tobe in that fight flight freezer
, fawn space in our brains.
So break it down for for ourlisteners, for me, when it comes
to, how does that help us inrecovery, like what?
So you do that at the beginningof your coaching sessions with
the guys who are trying to breakfree from unwanted sexual
(16:22):
behaviors and learn to walk insexual integrity?
Why, what's what happens if I'm, if I'm breathing from up here,
if I'm, if I'm in, if my brainisn't some somehow from, if I'm,
if the way that I'm breathingis, is telling my brain that I
need to be fight-flight freezeror font?
Speaker 1 (16:40):
So much of what is driving us towards sexual sin,
so much of what keeps us stuckwhen we're in a state of
betrayal, trauma.
Even I'm not yet a parent, joshyou're the one who wrote the
book on parenting but I imagineso much of what a parent might
feel as their child is wrestlingwith sexual sin or unwanted
sexual attraction or whatever isfeeling stuck in that place.
(17:05):
And that place is not.
I've heard it said like this,and you could probably say it a
bunch of different ways but thatmeans that we don't have access
to the fullness of our brain.
That we don't have.
I've heard one guy say the mindof Christ, if it's located
anywhere physically, it's in theprefrontal cortex, which can't
be accessed effectively whenwe're breathing so shallow, when
(17:27):
we're stuck in dysregulation.
And so a big part of actuallylearning how to soothe ourselves
especially thinking of someonewho soothes themselves through
porn and masturbation or otherforms of fantasy or whatever is
we can actually by God's designthis is a total God-ordained
gift of God is we can actuallyby God's design this is a total
God-ordained gift of God is wecould slow down.
(17:49):
I'll give two different briefexercises.
One is we could just take deepbreath in through our nose,
going all the way against thediaphragm, maybe seven seconds,
and then breathe out, perhapsthrough our mouth, although
breathing out doesn't matterquite as much.
From what I understand, maybefor nine seconds, and what that
does is, by breathing out slower, you're telling your body I can
(18:11):
relax.
I mean, how different is thatfrom letting you know social
media take you deeper and thengo to a porn site and then, okay
, now I have a chemical releasethat's helped me relax.
Instead, we're saying God'sgiven me this ability.
I'm going to take these deepbreaths and get back to a place
of regulation so I can navigate,perhaps, the difficult emotions
(18:34):
I'm feeling, or I can navigatethe difficult relationships.
One other one real quick.
I just want to throw in anotherreally helpful breath technique
is box breathing.
Box breathing is four count in,again through the nose, four
count hold, then four count outand then four count, hold, and
(18:56):
you might repeat that for one tothree minutes and you'll be
shocked.
I encourage you, pause rightnow and, if you can breathe in
for four counts, hold out forfour, hold and notice after a
minute, maybe two minutes, howmuch different your body feels.
Key into it a little bit andnotice if your blood pressure is
(19:19):
a little bit lower, if you feela little bit more calm.
And again, we're not advocatingfor this as, like um, I don't
know a kind of empty your mindmindfulness technique.
We're saying, hey, god hasactually put the breath of life
into us and what we're doingwhen we're stuck in that
dysregulation is we're likebarely breathing it in, so to
speak.
Right, we're barely receivingthe gift if I can put it that
(19:42):
way, josh of what God has givenus.
So you're not going to need tobox breathe your whole day,
right?
But maybe you hit a reallydifficult moment in your day and
you're tempted just to scrollor to eat or to go to sex for
calm, and instead you could takea minute, five minutes, take
(20:02):
some deep breaths, do some boxbreathing, breathing, invite the
lord into it and josh mentionedthis earlier like you could
pray simple phrases as you'rebreathing in and as you're
breathing out.
That's what we call breathprayer and that can be so
helpful in addition to all this.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
But invite the lord in and notice what he does, even
just through these breathtechniques one thought I have
when I was in early recovery, wedid a lot of scripture
memorization, uh, and, andspecifically like trying to each
individually pick what.
What are the verses that youspecifically find that you need
when you're triggered?
And so for me, fear is a hugeplace where I'm triggered.
(20:41):
Um, triggered meaning, you know, tempted to look at porn back
then, or tempted to go to medianow, or tempted to eat too much,
or you know, whatever um whichis was valuable and I'm grateful
for it and I wish I had knownthen what you're speaking of now
.
Because there's, there is a wayto to go to scripture and to
(21:03):
stay in that.
You know, like I'm trying tothink of a passage I used to
used to go to, kind of a go-topassage in moments of fear.
But let's just take, you know,jesus's words.
Behold, I'm with you always,even the end of the age.
So there is a, there's a waythat I can go to those words of
(21:24):
Jesus and say just kind of overand over and over in my head you
know, I'm with you always, evenin the age, I'm with you always
, even in the age, and stay inthat kind of like still
breathing from way up here andso my brain's just kind of
whirling.
Valuable even so, but how muchmore valuable when I am inviting
my body to practice with mybrain.
(21:46):
So sorry, my brain is part ofmy body, but these different
parts of my body, my brain andmy lungs, to practice together.
What does it mean if I am in,if Jesus is with me always, even
to the end of the age?
Well, it means I can breathe, Ican slow down, and so I'm
inviting my lungs, in a way,into that exercise, I'm inviting
my, and then that helps mybrain to enter more deeply into
(22:09):
that exercise.
So I said, man, I think theimplications here are really
significant in a lot of ways,and that's one that kind of pops
for me.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Some of these are what the reformers called.
Was it common grace?
What Catholics might call yeah,something like grace and nature
?
I don't know all the terms, butthese are doable for, obviously
, your non-Christian friends.
So you could be walking withsomeone through a really
difficult situation.
You can invite them to takesome deep breaths with you and
(22:39):
maybe you're silently prayingfor them.
These aren't mutually exclusiveguys.
We don't need to pit the factthat you know certain Eastern
religions might you know,spiritualize breath work, not in
a Christian way against thefact that God's the one who gave
us this breath and we can do itwith him.
So we got to keep moving, Josh,but probably a lot more that
(23:03):
could be said about that.
So fundamental.
You have less than 25 minutesto be able.
Probably most of us like fiveminutes or maybe three minutes
without breathing.
We're toast.
So we need breath.
We also need hydration, we needwater.
I mean, I just think, um, of themiracle I was reading it last
night of elisha, uh, basicallycreating.
(23:26):
The armies of israel and judahwere about to die of dehydration
and they go uh, the, the kingof Judah, is a God-fearing man.
He's like is there any prophetof the Lord?
They find Elisha.
He prays.
It's actually kind ofinteresting.
He has a harp played for himand then it says, after the harp
begins being played, the spiritof the Lord came on Elisha and
(23:48):
he basically prays and pools ofwater just come.
They come from Edom area intothe valley that the army's in.
So the people of God neededwater, or else they were
literally going to die, andinstead of God just kind of
doing some sort of um, he couldhave done perhaps a spiritual
miracle where let's just say,somehow their body just keeps
being filled with water.
I don't know, Somehow theirbody just keeps being filled
(24:10):
with water.
I don't know.
He could have done somethinglike that.
But for whatever reason, Godloves matter, Matter matters to
God, as we often say at Reach In, and probably others have said,
and God creates basically ariver for them.
He creates something physicalfor them to engage.
I actually just a couple thingsthat I'll say and hear your
(24:31):
thoughts on.
Josh, One of my pastors, hastold me that his afternoon slump
is negated in part by drinkingenough water.
So hydration can actually be apart of having your body
function well with energy.
One other one that I found soimportant with hydration is that
I'm one of the very few peoplein this world who's had the
issue of over-hydrating.
(24:52):
What this means is that I'm oneof the very few people in this
world who's had the issue ofoverhydrating.
What this means is that I wastold you got to drink plenty of
water.
You got to drink plenty ofwater.
Once you're thirsty, you're waypast the point of you know.
I've just been sensationalizedfor some reason in my thinking
with water, so I've drank waytoo much water.
And when I began this is sointeresting when I began my
recovery from sexual sin, Istarted to have really difficult
(25:16):
tension, headaches andsleepless nights, I would call
it where my heart wouldbasically be racing.
It felt like it was beating sohard and part of that was I'm
now not medicating anxiety and Ihave to now face anxiety,
become mature to handle anxiety.
I was getting counseling, innerhealing prayer.
There was a lot of ways that Iwas getting after the anxiety.
(25:37):
One of the really amazingthings I noticed was, because I
would drink so much water, I wasactually depleting myself of
electrolytes.
There are like five majorelectrolytes sodium, so salt,
basically potassium, magnesium,calcium.
Those are at least the fourthat I'm aware of.
There's at least one more.
(25:57):
But by not having enough salt orperhaps some of the potassium
or magnesium, the tensionheadaches would form because my
muscles didn't have the stuffthey needed to communicate and
the beating heart thing wouldhappen at night.
Stuff they needed tocommunicate and the beating
heart thing would happen atnight.
But the moment I got up andcreated a electrolyte mix in
this case it was like anemergency which is a vitamin C,
(26:18):
you know powder, but it has alot of salt, because they know
if you're sick and you'redrinking a lot of water, you
actually need salt to absorb thewater.
And so if I would get up it wasso annoying because I'm like I
brushed my teeth, I don't wantto drink this sugary powder mix,
right, but if I would get up,go upstairs, make the emergency
or liquid IVs of brand noonwe're not sponsored by any of
(26:41):
these brands, but these are someof the ones I've used If I go
up and do that, within 10 to 15minutes my heart was beating
normally and I could go to sleep.
My heart was beating normallyand I could go to sleep.
So there was a literal physicalthing going on in my body
connected to anxiety, but notexclusively anxiety.
That was handled by getting thenutrients I needed.
(27:02):
So I've since learned to drinka little less water.
If you ever watch us live orthe recording on YouTube, you
will see me probably grab mywater a fair bit as my throat
dries out while I'm talking.
But I've actually had to grabmy water a fair bit as my throat
dries out while I'm talking.
But I've actually had to cutdown water a little bit and have
(27:22):
a more balanced intake ofelectrolytes so that some of my
body's needs are being met.
So what I'm trying to say is,if you're dealing with recovery
and your body now has a higherlevel of stress, maybe cortisol
is running through your bodymore, your muscles are more
tensed out, you might actuallybe burning through electrolytes
more, and one of the ways youcan actually care for your body
and again a God-ordained way isto get the nutrients you need
through hydration.
I know it's kind of wild, butit's like this has actually been
(27:47):
really important to my recoveryjourney and just walking as a
person.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
That's a bit so this.
So this was one of the onesthat, as I'm kind of like taking
a peek at your notes beforehand, and I see hydration as this
discipline, this physicaldiscipline to help in recovery,
that I was like.
I do not know what he's talkingabout, but I know and I would
say, and I'm I'm way out of myleague here.
So I'm so glad you're leadingthis conversation because I, I'm
(28:14):
a coffee drinker.
I don't know, I'm not, I'm notcrazy over the top compared to
many, and I can actually.
I mean, like you know, the lastcouple of days I've had, you
know, uh, one cup and I don'treally notice much of a
difference.
So it's.
But, uh, the caffeine andcoffee dehydrates and I don't
typically drink enough water,I'm aware of that.
So you had the experience whereliterally making sure that you
(28:38):
have the right amount ofhydration without overhydrating,
and for our listeners itprobably is worth just
reiterating that nine times outof ten, your issue will be that
you're not drinking enough water.
Yeah, right, which may be theexception over there.
Yeah, that actually helps withan element of emotional
regulation.
Yes, my experience would be.
Certainly I know that too muchcoffee, yeah, disregulates me
(29:01):
and can create a lot of.
I can feel more anxious, I canfeel more angry, more irritable
If I'm not watching how quicklyI'm drinking coffee or how I'm
consuming coffee.
But I've got much lessexperience recognizing, like,
the value of water, unless I'mplaying sports or out in the sun
or something that I mightrecognize the difference.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
But part of what I'm getting at I mean, I forgot to
mention three days is how longyou could probably survive
without water, so that's justkind of a fun factor.
But we're learning how to carefor our bodies and again, this
is a big part of what recoveryis is I don't know how to care
for my emotions, but I alsodon't know how to care for my
body, and so if I'm usingmasturbation, which I used to,
(29:42):
to calm my body down from allthe anxiety it's holding in,
there's actually healthy waysthat God has designed us to
function.
One one really notable personI've heard talk about this is
Harvard professor Arthur Brooks.
He's a Catholic Christian,loves the Lord and he talks
(30:02):
about, he teaches his studentsabout happiness, and every day
he wakes up and actually haselectrolytes.
I don't know which one he uses,like you know, because that
costs a lot.
Each of these little tablets,you know, might be 50 cents or a
dollar, but um, but he'srecognized and I wish he
explained it more in theinterview I heard but he's
recognized that his body maybehe's in his fifties, maybe he
(30:25):
does deal with a lot of stress,I don't know but his body needs
those electrolytes to functionwell when he goes to the gym,
right when he wakes up and thengoes through his day.
So it's just interesting torecognize I think this is coming
more to the fore in thisgeneration Like, oh, do you have
a liquid IV with you?
Did you drink a Noon, did you?
You know, recognizing thatwe're sweating out nutrients and
(30:48):
we actually need to replenishthem.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
So if I could let me take this in a little bit of a
different direction, being thenovice that I am at being well
hydrated through the course ofthe day, one of the things that
really appeals to me about whatyou're saying is that you're
talking about caring well forourselves, caring well for our
bodies as a part of recovery,and I think anybody who's been
in recovery or who's engaged inunwanted sexual behaviors for
(31:14):
long will recognize theirtendencies towards using their
bodies to get a fix, to feelbetter fast and oftentimes
unwanted.
Sexual behaviors is just one ofa number, kind of in a
constellation of behaviors thata person would use to dissociate
from their feelings, to feelbetter, quick, to help
(31:36):
themselves calm down, to helpthemselves wake up.
I mean those kinds of ways and,whether they're recognizing or
not, they're trying tomanipulate their body to help
with their emotions.
And, by the way, like onehelpful, maybe framework for
this conversation would be thatwhen we're talking about
emotions, we're not talkingabout something separate from
our bodies.
We actually feel all of ouremotions bodily.
(31:58):
That was one of those otherthings for me.
Yeah, just, you know, fiveyears ago or so, I was like wait
a minute, those are the samething, like when I'm talking
about emotions, I'm talkingabout my body.
But so, whether it's caffeineor media, or food, or sugar or
alcohol or soda, I mean theseare all ways that we're trying
to use our bodies.
(32:28):
What you're talking about, james, is caring for our bodies,
helpingame, because for many ofus, as we're trying to let go of
the temptation or resist thetemptation to act out sexually,
it feels on the front end likewhat we're trying to do is
deprive our bodies of something,as though we're hurting them.
And we can feel pain when wesay no to temptation, whether
(32:49):
it's temptation to overeat orsugar or alcohol or drugs or
sexual acting out.
But what we're really trying todo is we are trying to care
well for ourselves, and I thinkthat frames up kind of this idea
with the Lord.
The Lord is not trying to holdout on you, he's not trying to
deprive you of something.
He's actually trying to giveyou life and give it to you
(33:10):
abundantly, and so even the on aphysical level, drinking
adequate amounts of water in aday is a way for you to
cooperate with the lord's carefor you.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
One way one of the speakers used to work with yeah,
absolutely, pat goodman, whohas spoken with our team before.
He's a local men's minister inthe Baltimore area.
He would always bring a plankof a two by four with him to any
you know teaching.
He does at least a few thatI've heard.
But he would show that if you,you know, go against the grain,
(33:43):
you will get splinters, but ifyou go with the grain, you won't
.
And his point was God hasdesigned a grain of the universe
like if we don't cooperate, ifwe don't drink water enough
water in three days, we're donepotentially.
And so what we're saying, likewhat you're highlighting, josh,
is that caring for our bodies isactually a really important
(34:06):
thing.
That isn't.
This is not about likeselfishness, and I do recognize,
I want to recognize, that thereare people around the world who
are not getting enough of thesecategories, but that doesn't
mean that we shouldn't be if wecan, and we wouldn't want them
to if they could.
In other words, one of thefruits of the spirit, the last
(34:27):
fruit of the spirit, actually,is self control.
And I want to argue, josh, thatwhat we're talking about today
is growing in self-control.
We're going to talk about dietin just a second.
And obviously fasting is aspiritual discipline, but it's
again.
We need to know what is healthyso that then we can adequately
choose to make exceptions to therule.
(34:48):
We need to know the rules tomake exceptions to the rules as
well, right.
So if you're going to choose tofast, if you want to do one of
those incredible Jesus fasts the40-day fast I know people who
have actually done that fromfood, water only for 40 days If
you want to do something likethat, you need to know what
healthy well, healthy fasting.
In that case you got to be verycareful.
There's guidelines to that youshould look up if you're ever
(35:10):
going to consider that.
But you need to know whathealthy looks like in order to
make exceptions effectiveexceptions.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Man James, this is so helpful because I still kind of
tend to think about disciplinesand about virtue and I'm saying
this confessionally, but I canhear it in what you're talking
about as being primarily aboutbeing able to say no rather than
say yes.
And what's popping for me, asyou're saying, that is,
(35:42):
self-control can also bepracticed in giving your body
what your body needs.
Growing in humility can begiving your body what your body
needs.
Growing in humility can begiving your body what your body
needs.
And so, instead of me like, goover here.
Like you know, master of theuniverse, like you know, give me
enough coffee, I'll get throughthe day, I'll power through.
Like, let me, let me be humble.
(36:03):
God, I'm a created being who'screated to need water.
I will pause these differentpoints in the day and have
enough water as an act ofhumility and submission to my
creator, and that is me walkingin self-control.
That's it.
I mean that's enough for me.
You finish the podcast byyourself.
I'm going to go beginpracticing this.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
I love that.
Well, and just like what.
I just want to throw this inthere.
Just like we talked about,breathing is recognizing the
spirit of God, the breath of God.
Just like we talked aboutbreathing is recognizing the
spirit of God, the breath of God.
Could drinking water berecognizing the river of life,
the water that will never runout?
How does Jesus say it to thewoman at the well right the?
Speaker 2 (36:43):
living water that will satisfy yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
The water that came out of his side, including the
blood right, but the water, thewater came out of his side as
well when he was pierced on thecross.
So no reason.
We can't let these things beicons, and maybe that's what
they were designed to be, josh,we talked so much about how sex
is an icon to the wedding supperof the lamb.
It's this foretaste of whatit'll be like to be united with
(37:09):
God.
How much more could be?
Or how much could alsobreathing drinking water we're
going to talk about eating, orsome of these others in a moment
.
They can be icons for us if wewould let them.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Yeah, our bodies are not just biological, as
Christopher West says, they arealso theological, and so, like
we drink water, it's a theology.
We are designed for the riverof life, we are designed for the
springs of water that well upthat we will never thirst for
again.
And if we can fast with thewords of the prayer that, lord,
(37:42):
I'm hungry for you, Can't wedrink some water and say, lord,
I'm thirsty for you, I want theeternal water that will never
run dry, man.
So, friends, please join usagain next week.
We're going to continue thisconversation, but before we sign
off, james and I want topersonally invite you to the
retreats that Regeneration'soffering this fall.
(38:02):
We've got one for men and onefor women.
They're both transformational.
For the men, we have our secondannual Awaken retreat.
If you came last year, you knowhow wonderful it was.
If you came last year, thecontent this year will be a
little bit different.
We're going to be two nights,october 3rd through the 5th,
unforgettable weekend, whereyou're going to experience being
(38:22):
known and being named throughbrotherhood, the Father's heart
and embodied healing experiences.
If you're a woman, we'd like toinvite you to the Sacred by
Design retreat.
I say invite you, we're notgoing to be there, but the women
on our team will be there.
Happening November 7th and 8th.
It's a unique space for womento slow down, connect deeply
with God and rediscover thebeauty of who they are, beyond
shame, beyond striving.
It's a weekend of truth, graceand restoration.
(38:45):
Space is limited for both ofthese.
You can find out more aboutthem in our show notes Until
next week.
Thanks,
What if you could work with your body for recovery
instead of just against it?
Those of us dealing with sexualsin struggles probably know
that our brains develop theseneural pathways that end up
working against the new heartthat God has given us our
heart's desire for sobriety, forhealing.
(00:21):
But what if your body canactually be a God-ordained asset
to your healing?
I'm James Craig, spiritualcoach and director of projects
here at Regen, and I'm joined byauthor, speaker and executive
director of Regeneration, joshGlaser.
Josh, you're laughing becausewe don't usually introduce you
(00:43):
that way, but it's true, youhave an awesome book.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
You make me sound very.
I was like who's on the podcast?
Is it an author?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Josh and I are going to dive into the importance of
considering our physicalexistence when it comes to
walking in the spirit.
That's an interesting sentenceright there.
We're going to unpack that andwe're going to look at five
different categories of physicaldisciplines to aid your journey
towards sexual integrity, butthese can also aid healing from
(01:12):
betrayal trauma.
This can also give you wisdomwhen you're discipling your kids
.
We were talking before and mostof us weren't actually taught
how to work with our bodies Atleast Josh and I weren't and
many that we walk with have notbeen taught how to work with our
bodies At least Josh and Iweren't and many that we walk
with have not been taught how towalk with our bodies for the
good of walking with Jesus.
So, josh, let's start out bytalking about this tension that
(01:34):
I'm already raising.
Aren't these issues aren'tsexual sin, struggles or even
betrayal trauma?
Aren't these spiritual issuesto some degree?
Or perhaps you could saypsychological to some degree?
Like, I want us to unpack alittle bit of why we actually
believe really deeply at Regenthat these aren't just purely
(01:59):
spiritual issues, and one way weput this actually in the spirit
module of Awaken, which is themodule we run from July through
September, that we're actuallycalled to walk in the spirit
bodily, because we are matterand spirit by God's design.
So let me just read thisscripture.
Then I want to hear some ofyour thoughts about this.
I know you have a lot of them.
I probably learned a lot ofthis from you.
(02:21):
But Genesis 2, 7 says that thelord god formed a man, formed
man from the dust of the groundand breathed into his nostrils
the breath of life, and manbecome, became a living being.
So we see both uh, dust, whichis a way to talk about matter,
right, physical nature, and wesee this breath of life, the
(02:43):
spirit of God.
We see both right at thebeginning here in Genesis.
So you had just said we'rematter and spirit yeah, genesis
2 7 is the framing text.
I just wanted to give you asecond to respond, if you have
something there to jump in with.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Again, we're emphasizing the physical today,
but these are veryinterconnected, is what we're
trying to say, yeah, I would sayin my experience and this is
(03:30):
just from my personal life, butalso in ministry for the last 25
years that we probably can'tsay enough.
Whatased in a body, that we areto be a human, is to be both
simultaneously, and you removeone from the other and you cease
to be a human.
And I think, especially when itcomes to understanding
ourselves to be body creatures,that we don't just have a body,
we are in fact body, uh, is iskey.
And and I say that I don'tthink we a body, we are in fact
body is key.
And I say that I don't think wecan say it enough, in part
because I've been saying thatand learning that for going on
(03:52):
at least probably 15 years now,thanks in large part to theology
of the body, pope John PaulII's, theology of the body.
And still I find myself kind ofdrifting into this kind of
territory of almost consideringmyself, thinking about myself as
primarily a mind, primarily aspirit.
And we live in a culture thatvery, very, very much kind of
(04:16):
considers the human person askind of the split between body
and spirit, just the language weuse, the way we think about our
bodies, we almost kind of thinkof our bodies as an accessory
that we wear and you canmanipulate it, you can change it
, you can dye it, you can workout so it looks better.
You can have surgery so itlooks better.
You can have surgery so thatyou look very, very different
(04:36):
than you do, or so that you evenlook like you're a different
sex than you are.
And yet scripture teaches usclearly that we are our bodies.
There's something really uniquethere that's more than we can
unpack today, but I think sowhen it comes to the idea of
recovery and growing in our ownsexual integrity, our bodies
(04:59):
have got to play a part in thatin so many ways.
And I do want to just give alittle bit of a more, just a
heads up to people.
You mentioned that we're goingto talk about some physical
activities, disciplines, today,and I've taken a peek at your
notes.
They're not what most peopleare thinking.
I think most people would go ohyeah, we're going to talk about
(05:21):
Christian like things you dowith your bodies.
It'll be like traditional,quote-unquote spiritual
disciplines which, by the way,are all things we do with our
bodies.
But yeah, but you're actuallygoing at almost a different
level altogether, yeah, whichI'm excited to get into anyway.
So that's yeah so two cents.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
So we often say that our bodies are a temple.
Right, it's, it's straight outof the new testament.
Your body is a temple.
And I don't know about you,josh, but I hear that and I'm
like, okay, I'm supposed to takecare of my body, but I've never
really had someone unpackreally in detail what that looks
like.
I'm a detailed thinker, as youknow very well, and if I can't
really connect that veryabstract concept to more
(06:03):
particular, I'm kind of leftlike okay, like I shouldn't be
sexually sinning, obviously,like my body's a temple.
But we don't actually realizethat when it says in scripture
it's another good framing textlove your neighbor as you love
yourself.
And it also says in scriptureand this is going to sound
controversial to our modern earsbut it says no one hates their
(06:26):
own body.
Now, I know we live in a timewhere we can, in a sense, hate
our own body, but I still thinkthat the scriptural vision there
is true that if we want tolearn what it means to love
other people, but we've neveractually learned how to take
care of ourselves, we're notgoing to be able to do it
effectively.
So many of us were told tobegin taking care of our parents
(06:49):
or our siblings in unhealthyways before we actually learned
how to take care of our own body, and that's a huge gap in
discipleship.
Jay stringer, in unwanted,actually says that it's a
parent's responsibility to teachtheir children about things
like nutrition, things likeexercise and sleep.
So we're going to do a littlebit of that today.
(07:10):
We're going to talk aboutalmost like yeah, like you said,
josh, a foundational level ofwhat does it mean to walk in the
spirit, bodily, or to walkbodily, spiritually, however you
want to think about it.
So five key areas, okay, fivekey areas of physical
disciplines that we're going toconsider today.
There's so many, there could bemore, but these are so
fundamental and I'm going toorder them in terms of how
(07:34):
quickly you will die if youforsake these.
That's how fundamental we'regetting, okay.
So first category is breathing.
Second is hydration, third iseating.
Fourth is sleeping is sleeping,and fifth is exercise.
I'm not sure that you willdirectly die if you don't get
exercise right, maybe, yeah, Imean, um, god be with those who
(07:55):
are physically unable toliterally get out of bed or
whatever, um, but we do knowthat that's not how god designed
our bodies to work, thatavoiding exercise actually
contributes to a host ofphysical and mental issues.
So we're going to start outwith the most fundamental here,
which is breathing.
Okay, josh, what has been yourexperience with utilizing your
(08:19):
breath this very breath that wejust heard about in Genesis 2-7,
this very breath that we justheard about in Genesis 2-7 as an
asset toward walking with Jesus, as an asset toward just
walking?
Well, you know, being at peaceor resting or whatever Like.
How have you seen your breathcome into play here or not?
This could be brand new for you.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I don't actually know which of these you're more
familiar with than not.
Today.
It is relatively new for meWell, I shouldn't say new,
relatively untapped for me.
I've been led through somebreathing exercises, ranging
from breath prayers going wayback for me in my spiritual
journey, which have beenbeautiful and wonderful assets,
to using specific kinds ofbreathing to help me regulate
(09:05):
emotions, but it's it's notformed in me, it's not a habit,
like I don't.
I don't typically think of itof breathing as a go-to when it
comes to a spiritual asset, um,or a recovery asset, although
I'm, I'm trying to learn, so I'm, I'm eager for you to dive in
here.
So, and, by the way, what'sfascinating to me?
Like, I don't know that, any ofus, maybe some, but I can't, I
(09:28):
don't know anybody that wouldsay like, yeah, one of the
things my parents taught me howto do when I was a kid was how
to breathe.
Maybe a coach or maybe a band.
I met one guy, a counselor whodid that?
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Oh yeah, like an athlete, athletic coach or band
teacher right, but do it, butbut for a specific purpose.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Not like you know, like because because we, because
we do, we know how to breathe.
You know it's one of I mean, Idon't know if it's just you know
we come out of the womb andmaybe we get a you know a smack
from the doctor to help clearour lungs and then we breathe.
But but we also I do know thatwe learn unhealthy habits when
it comes to breathing.
I was talking to somebody theother day who was like literally
(10:10):
in the middle of an anxietyattack and was was going like
this and I was like what's,what's going on with the breath
there?
And and they said I'm, I'mtaking deep breaths.
I was like those are not deepbreaths, it's very shallow
breathing, but they're trying toregulate so anyway.
But so what, when you thinkabout breathing as an asset to
(10:32):
our spiritual growth, to ourrecovery, what are you talking
about?
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Well, first of all, I think about the fact that we're
needy, and this is one of themost liberating realities that
we can realize as followers ofJesus.
We're not unlimited beings.
We're not like we said.
We're not pure spirits, likeangels.
We need to breathe.
So I looked it up world record24 minutes and 37.36 seconds of
(10:57):
a man named Budimir Sobat, fromCroatia, back in 2021.
So the absolute longest.
As far as we know, a human hasever not breathed and still is
alive, and he used oxygen before.
You know, this wasn't just likea let me just go underwater and
hold my breath.
So less than way less than anhour is the max you could
(11:19):
survive without breath.
So the first thing I just wantto highlight is sometimes we can
be so focused on the spirituallike you said earlier, josh that
we don't realize we are limited.
We're not unlimited beings.
We have things like the need tobreathe and all these other
things we're going to get intothat God has actually wired us
to need.
(11:40):
In other words, he's created usto be dependent on him.
I think that that can beliberating.
There's actually a book that Ithink it won runner up for book
of the year from CT a few yearsago, but it's by a guy named
Kelly Capik.
I haven't been able to read ityet, but I'm actually forgetting
the title right now.
(12:00):
You could look up his name,you'll find it.
But basically, it's the good ofhonoring our limits.
Our culture teaches us thatwe're limitless.
I've literally seen billboardsaround la where I live, from a
hospital usc hospital where thetagline is limitless and part of
what we're saying today is,starting with breath, that God
(12:22):
has actually designed us to beneedy, to rely on his sustaining
breath.
If God didn't design theatmospheric pressure to be
exactly what it is, we would notbe able to breathe in the air
that we breathe.
If God didn't provide us trees,we would not be able to breathe
the oxygen we need.
So I just want to start withthat idea that this puts us in a
(12:43):
posture.
All five of these, when handledwell, I think, put us in a
posture.
All five of these, when handledwell, I think, put us in a
posture of realizing I can't,just like go live in the spirit
in the desert without any wateror air or food, like at some
point.
We need each of these things.
We need them from God's handwouldn't what it?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
what strikes me is the irony of you're introducing
these as as things for us to doto serve as an asset to our
spiritual lives, serve as anasset to our bodily lives,
assets to us as in recovery fromunwanted sexual behaviors.
Dig into what these things areright out of the gates.
(13:25):
Your first point is they pointto our dependency that we are
designed by God to need, andthat's very good.
That strikes me as a prettycompelling case against the idea
that we're spiritual.
Disciplines are, in and ofthemselves, things that
(13:45):
originate from us.
They're things that we do, orthings that even move us towards
some kind of legalism thatwe're earning something because
they demonstrate our neediness.
And if they demonstrate ourneediness, then they put us in
relationship with a God whodesires to meet our needs.
I love that.
(14:05):
What a place to begin.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
So part of what he has designed us to do is to
breathe deeply.
I'm gonna get really practicalhere.
Our lungs and this is gonnashow how little anatomy I know I
should have had my good friendwho's a doctor on with us, josh,
but our lungs basically push upagainst our diaphragm, which
basically separates our lungsfrom our intestines.
(14:30):
So we were actually designed byGod to breathe deeply to the
bottom of our lungs.
What this does is it helps ourbrain know that we're in a safe
place, and when we're not inthat place, god designed us so
that if a lion were chasingafter us, we're not going to
breathe that deeply, because tobreathe shallow in the situation
(14:53):
of running from a wild animalhelps our body know that we need
to be in fight or flight mode.
But you can see immediately ifyou're thinking about it.
We don't want to be there allthe time.
If we're not literally, if ourlives are not in physical danger
or some other sort of realdanger, we want to be regulated,
(15:13):
and so one of the first keysfor understanding how God
designed breath to work is thatwe're meant to breathe all the
way down to the bottom of ourlungs, and I've done this a lot
with clients.
Josh, I start out most coachingsessions with prayer,
meditating on Jesus and takingdeep breaths, and one of the
things some of my clients havenoticed is like whoa, like my
chest hurts to breathe thisdeeply, to push down to the
(15:36):
bottom of my lungs against mydiaphragm.
It hurts because I'm so used toliving at the top of my lungs,
I'm so used to living in thatkind of sympathetic nervous
system fight, flight, fawn orlungs.
I'm so used to living in thatkind of sympathetic nervous
system fight, flight, fawn orfreeze I'm just stuck there.
And so to actually take two,five minutes, whatever we do,
it's kind of a shock to thesystem sometimes to breathe that
(15:58):
deeply.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Yeah, okay.
So let me slow you down alittle bit, cause you talked
about parasympathetic nervoussystem.
You talked about not wanting tobe in that fight flight freezer
, fawn space in our brains.
So break it down for for ourlisteners, for me, when it comes
to, how does that help us inrecovery, like what?
So you do that at the beginningof your coaching sessions with
the guys who are trying to breakfree from unwanted sexual
(16:22):
behaviors and learn to walk insexual integrity?
Why, what's what happens if I'm, if I'm breathing from up here,
if I'm, if I'm in, if my brainisn't some somehow from, if I'm,
if the way that I'm breathingis, is telling my brain that I
need to be fight-flight freezeror font?
Speaker 1 (16:40):
So much of what is driving us towards sexual sin,
so much of what keeps us stuckwhen we're in a state of
betrayal, trauma.
Even I'm not yet a parent, joshyou're the one who wrote the
book on parenting but I imagineso much of what a parent might
feel as their child is wrestlingwith sexual sin or unwanted
sexual attraction or whatever isfeeling stuck in that place.
(17:05):
And that place is not.
I've heard it said like this,and you could probably say it a
bunch of different ways but thatmeans that we don't have access
to the fullness of our brain.
That we don't have.
I've heard one guy say the mindof Christ, if it's located
anywhere physically, it's in theprefrontal cortex, which can't
be accessed effectively whenwe're breathing so shallow, when
(17:27):
we're stuck in dysregulation.
And so a big part of actuallylearning how to soothe ourselves
especially thinking of someonewho soothes themselves through
porn and masturbation or otherforms of fantasy or whatever is
we can actually by God's designthis is a total God-ordained
gift of God is we can actuallyby God's design this is a total
God-ordained gift of God is wecould slow down.
(17:49):
I'll give two different briefexercises.
One is we could just take deepbreath in through our nose,
going all the way against thediaphragm, maybe seven seconds,
and then breathe out, perhapsthrough our mouth, although
breathing out doesn't matterquite as much.
From what I understand, maybefor nine seconds, and what that
does is, by breathing out slower, you're telling your body I can
(18:11):
relax.
I mean, how different is thatfrom letting you know social
media take you deeper and thengo to a porn site and then, okay
, now I have a chemical releasethat's helped me relax.
Instead, we're saying God'sgiven me this ability.
I'm going to take these deepbreaths and get back to a place
of regulation so I can navigate,perhaps, the difficult emotions
(18:34):
I'm feeling, or I can navigatethe difficult relationships.
One other one real quick.
I just want to throw in anotherreally helpful breath technique
is box breathing.
Box breathing is four count in,again through the nose, four
count hold, then four count outand then four count, hold, and
(18:56):
you might repeat that for one tothree minutes and you'll be
shocked.
I encourage you, pause rightnow and, if you can breathe in
for four counts, hold out forfour, hold and notice after a
minute, maybe two minutes, howmuch different your body feels.
Key into it a little bit andnotice if your blood pressure is
(19:19):
a little bit lower, if you feela little bit more calm.
And again, we're not advocatingfor this as, like um, I don't
know a kind of empty your mindmindfulness technique.
We're saying, hey, god hasactually put the breath of life
into us and what we're doingwhen we're stuck in that
dysregulation is we're likebarely breathing it in, so to
speak.
Right, we're barely receivingthe gift if I can put it that
(19:42):
way, josh of what God has givenus.
So you're not going to need tobox breathe your whole day,
right?
But maybe you hit a reallydifficult moment in your day and
you're tempted just to scrollor to eat or to go to sex for
calm, and instead you could takea minute, five minutes, take
(20:02):
some deep breaths, do some boxbreathing, breathing, invite the
lord into it and josh mentionedthis earlier like you could
pray simple phrases as you'rebreathing in and as you're
breathing out.
That's what we call breathprayer and that can be so
helpful in addition to all this.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
But invite the lord in and notice what he does, even
just through these breathtechniques one thought I have
when I was in early recovery, wedid a lot of scripture
memorization, uh, and, andspecifically like trying to each
individually pick what.
What are the verses that youspecifically find that you need
when you're triggered?
And so for me, fear is a hugeplace where I'm triggered.
(20:41):
Um, triggered meaning, you know, tempted to look at porn back
then, or tempted to go to medianow, or tempted to eat too much,
or you know, whatever um whichis was valuable and I'm grateful
for it and I wish I had knownthen what you're speaking of now
.
Because there's, there is a wayto to go to scripture and to
(21:03):
stay in that.
You know, like I'm trying tothink of a passage I used to
used to go to, kind of a go-topassage in moments of fear.
But let's just take, you know,jesus's words.
Behold, I'm with you always,even the end of the age.
So there is a, there's a waythat I can go to those words of
(21:24):
Jesus and say just kind of overand over and over in my head you
know, I'm with you always, evenin the age, I'm with you always
, even in the age, and stay inthat kind of like still
breathing from way up here andso my brain's just kind of
whirling.
Valuable even so, but how muchmore valuable when I am inviting
my body to practice with mybrain.
(21:46):
So sorry, my brain is part ofmy body, but these different
parts of my body, my brain andmy lungs, to practice together.
What does it mean if I am in,if Jesus is with me always, even
to the end of the age?
Well, it means I can breathe, Ican slow down, and so I'm
inviting my lungs, in a way,into that exercise, I'm inviting
my, and then that helps mybrain to enter more deeply into
(22:09):
that exercise.
So I said, man, I think theimplications here are really
significant in a lot of ways,and that's one that kind of pops
for me.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Some of these are what the reformers called.
Was it common grace?
What Catholics might call yeah,something like grace and nature
?
I don't know all the terms, butthese are doable for, obviously
, your non-Christian friends.
So you could be walking withsomeone through a really
difficult situation.
You can invite them to takesome deep breaths with you and
(22:39):
maybe you're silently prayingfor them.
These aren't mutually exclusiveguys.
We don't need to pit the factthat you know certain Eastern
religions might you know,spiritualize breath work, not in
a Christian way against thefact that God's the one who gave
us this breath and we can do itwith him.
So we got to keep moving, Josh,but probably a lot more that
(23:03):
could be said about that.
So fundamental.
You have less than 25 minutesto be able.
Probably most of us like fiveminutes or maybe three minutes
without breathing.
We're toast.
So we need breath.
We also need hydration, we needwater.
I mean, I just think, um, of themiracle I was reading it last
night of elisha, uh, basicallycreating.
(23:26):
The armies of israel and judahwere about to die of dehydration
and they go uh, the, the kingof Judah, is a God-fearing man.
He's like is there any prophetof the Lord?
They find Elisha.
He prays.
It's actually kind ofinteresting.
He has a harp played for himand then it says, after the harp
begins being played, the spiritof the Lord came on Elisha and
(23:48):
he basically prays and pools ofwater just come.
They come from Edom area intothe valley that the army's in.
So the people of God neededwater, or else they were
literally going to die, andinstead of God just kind of
doing some sort of um, he couldhave done perhaps a spiritual
miracle where let's just say,somehow their body just keeps
being filled with water.
I don't know, Somehow theirbody just keeps being filled
(24:10):
with water.
I don't know.
He could have done somethinglike that.
But for whatever reason, Godloves matter, Matter matters to
God, as we often say at Reach In, and probably others have said,
and God creates basically ariver for them.
He creates something physicalfor them to engage.
I actually just a couple thingsthat I'll say and hear your
(24:31):
thoughts on.
Josh, One of my pastors, hastold me that his afternoon slump
is negated in part by drinkingenough water.
So hydration can actually be apart of having your body
function well with energy.
One other one that I found soimportant with hydration is that
I'm one of the very few peoplein this world who's had the
issue of over-hydrating.
(24:52):
What this means is that I'm oneof the very few people in this
world who's had the issue ofoverhydrating.
What this means is that I wastold you got to drink plenty of
water.
You got to drink plenty ofwater.
Once you're thirsty, you're waypast the point of you know.
I've just been sensationalizedfor some reason in my thinking
with water, so I've drank waytoo much water.
And when I began this is sointeresting when I began my
recovery from sexual sin, Istarted to have really difficult
(25:16):
tension, headaches andsleepless nights, I would call
it where my heart wouldbasically be racing.
It felt like it was beating sohard and part of that was I'm
now not medicating anxiety and Ihave to now face anxiety,
become mature to handle anxiety.
I was getting counseling, innerhealing prayer.
There was a lot of ways that Iwas getting after the anxiety.
(25:37):
One of the really amazingthings I noticed was, because I
would drink so much water, I wasactually depleting myself of
electrolytes.
There are like five majorelectrolytes sodium, so salt,
basically potassium, magnesium,calcium.
Those are at least the fourthat I'm aware of.
There's at least one more.
(25:57):
But by not having enough salt orperhaps some of the potassium
or magnesium, the tensionheadaches would form because my
muscles didn't have the stuffthey needed to communicate and
the beating heart thing wouldhappen at night.
Stuff they needed tocommunicate and the beating
heart thing would happen atnight.
But the moment I got up andcreated a electrolyte mix in
this case it was like anemergency which is a vitamin C,
(26:18):
you know powder, but it has alot of salt, because they know
if you're sick and you'redrinking a lot of water, you
actually need salt to absorb thewater.
And so if I would get up it wasso annoying because I'm like I
brushed my teeth, I don't wantto drink this sugary powder mix,
right, but if I would get up,go upstairs, make the emergency
or liquid IVs of brand noonwe're not sponsored by any of
(26:41):
these brands, but these are someof the ones I've used If I go
up and do that, within 10 to 15minutes my heart was beating
normally and I could go to sleep.
My heart was beating normallyand I could go to sleep.
So there was a literal physicalthing going on in my body
connected to anxiety, but notexclusively anxiety.
That was handled by getting thenutrients I needed.
(27:02):
So I've since learned to drinka little less water.
If you ever watch us live orthe recording on YouTube, you
will see me probably grab mywater a fair bit as my throat
dries out while I'm talking.
But I've actually had to grabmy water a fair bit as my throat
dries out while I'm talking.
But I've actually had to cutdown water a little bit and have
(27:22):
a more balanced intake ofelectrolytes so that some of my
body's needs are being met.
So what I'm trying to say is,if you're dealing with recovery
and your body now has a higherlevel of stress, maybe cortisol
is running through your bodymore, your muscles are more
tensed out, you might actuallybe burning through electrolytes
more, and one of the ways youcan actually care for your body
and again a God-ordained way isto get the nutrients you need
through hydration.
I know it's kind of wild, butit's like this has actually been
(27:47):
really important to my recoveryjourney and just walking as a
person.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
That's a bit so this.
So this was one of the onesthat, as I'm kind of like taking
a peek at your notes beforehand, and I see hydration as this
discipline, this physicaldiscipline to help in recovery,
that I was like.
I do not know what he's talkingabout, but I know and I would
say, and I'm I'm way out of myleague here.
So I'm so glad you're leadingthis conversation because I, I'm
(28:14):
a coffee drinker.
I don't know, I'm not, I'm notcrazy over the top compared to
many, and I can actually.
I mean, like you know, the lastcouple of days I've had, you
know, uh, one cup and I don'treally notice much of a
difference.
So it's.
But, uh, the caffeine andcoffee dehydrates and I don't
typically drink enough water,I'm aware of that.
So you had the experience whereliterally making sure that you
(28:38):
have the right amount ofhydration without overhydrating,
and for our listeners itprobably is worth just
reiterating that nine times outof ten, your issue will be that
you're not drinking enough water.
Yeah, right, which may be theexception over there.
Yeah, that actually helps withan element of emotional
regulation.
Yes, my experience would be.
Certainly I know that too muchcoffee, yeah, disregulates me
(29:01):
and can create a lot of.
I can feel more anxious, I canfeel more angry, more irritable
If I'm not watching how quicklyI'm drinking coffee or how I'm
consuming coffee.
But I've got much lessexperience recognizing, like,
the value of water, unless I'mplaying sports or out in the sun
or something that I mightrecognize the difference.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
But part of what I'm getting at I mean, I forgot to
mention three days is how longyou could probably survive
without water, so that's justkind of a fun factor.
But we're learning how to carefor our bodies and again, this
is a big part of what recoveryis is I don't know how to care
for my emotions, but I alsodon't know how to care for my
body, and so if I'm usingmasturbation, which I used to,
(29:42):
to calm my body down from allthe anxiety it's holding in,
there's actually healthy waysthat God has designed us to
function.
One one really notable personI've heard talk about this is
Harvard professor Arthur Brooks.
He's a Catholic Christian,loves the Lord and he talks
(30:02):
about, he teaches his studentsabout happiness, and every day
he wakes up and actually haselectrolytes.
I don't know which one he uses,like you know, because that
costs a lot.
Each of these little tablets,you know, might be 50 cents or a
dollar, but um, but he'srecognized and I wish he
explained it more in theinterview I heard but he's
recognized that his body maybehe's in his fifties, maybe he
(30:25):
does deal with a lot of stress,I don't know but his body needs
those electrolytes to functionwell when he goes to the gym,
right when he wakes up and thengoes through his day.
So it's just interesting torecognize I think this is coming
more to the fore in thisgeneration Like, oh, do you have
a liquid IV with you?
Did you drink a Noon, did you?
You know, recognizing thatwe're sweating out nutrients and
(30:48):
we actually need to replenishthem.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
So if I could let me take this in a little bit of a
different direction, being thenovice that I am at being well
hydrated through the course ofthe day, one of the things that
really appeals to me about whatyou're saying is that you're
talking about caring well forourselves, caring well for our
bodies as a part of recovery,and I think anybody who's been
in recovery or who's engaged inunwanted sexual behaviors for
(31:14):
long will recognize theirtendencies towards using their
bodies to get a fix, to feelbetter fast and oftentimes
unwanted.
Sexual behaviors is just one ofa number, kind of in a
constellation of behaviors thata person would use to dissociate
from their feelings, to feelbetter, quick, to help
(31:36):
themselves calm down, to helpthemselves wake up.
I mean those kinds of ways and,whether they're recognizing or
not, they're trying tomanipulate their body to help
with their emotions.
And, by the way, like onehelpful, maybe framework for
this conversation would be thatwhen we're talking about
emotions, we're not talkingabout something separate from
our bodies.
We actually feel all of ouremotions bodily.
(31:58):
That was one of those otherthings for me.
Yeah, just, you know, fiveyears ago or so, I was like wait
a minute, those are the samething, like when I'm talking
about emotions, I'm talkingabout my body.
But so, whether it's caffeineor media, or food, or sugar or
alcohol or soda, I mean theseare all ways that we're trying
to use our bodies.
(32:28):
What you're talking about, james, is caring for our bodies,
helpingame, because for many ofus, as we're trying to let go of
the temptation or resist thetemptation to act out sexually,
it feels on the front end likewhat we're trying to do is
deprive our bodies of something,as though we're hurting them.
And we can feel pain when wesay no to temptation, whether
(32:49):
it's temptation to overeat orsugar or alcohol or drugs or
sexual acting out.
But what we're really trying todo is we are trying to care
well for ourselves, and I thinkthat frames up kind of this idea
with the Lord.
The Lord is not trying to holdout on you, he's not trying to
deprive you of something.
He's actually trying to giveyou life and give it to you
(33:10):
abundantly, and so even the on aphysical level, drinking
adequate amounts of water in aday is a way for you to
cooperate with the lord's carefor you.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
One way one of the speakers used to work with yeah,
absolutely, pat goodman, whohas spoken with our team before.
He's a local men's minister inthe Baltimore area.
He would always bring a plankof a two by four with him to any
you know teaching.
He does at least a few thatI've heard.
But he would show that if you,you know, go against the grain,
(33:43):
you will get splinters, but ifyou go with the grain, you won't
.
And his point was God hasdesigned a grain of the universe
like if we don't cooperate, ifwe don't drink water enough
water in three days, we're donepotentially.
And so what we're saying, likewhat you're highlighting, josh,
is that caring for our bodies isactually a really important
(34:06):
thing.
That isn't.
This is not about likeselfishness, and I do recognize,
I want to recognize, that thereare people around the world who
are not getting enough of thesecategories, but that doesn't
mean that we shouldn't be if wecan, and we wouldn't want them
to if they could.
In other words, one of thefruits of the spirit, the last
(34:27):
fruit of the spirit, actually,is self control.
And I want to argue, josh, thatwhat we're talking about today
is growing in self-control.
We're going to talk about dietin just a second.
And obviously fasting is aspiritual discipline, but it's
again.
We need to know what is healthyso that then we can adequately
choose to make exceptions to therule.
(34:48):
We need to know the rules tomake exceptions to the rules as
well, right.
So if you're going to choose tofast, if you want to do one of
those incredible Jesus fasts the40-day fast I know people who
have actually done that fromfood, water only for 40 days If
you want to do something likethat, you need to know what
healthy well, healthy fasting.
In that case you got to be verycareful.
There's guidelines to that youshould look up if you're ever
(35:10):
going to consider that.
But you need to know whathealthy looks like in order to
make exceptions effectiveexceptions.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Man James, this is so helpful because I still kind of
tend to think about disciplinesand about virtue and I'm saying
this confessionally, but I canhear it in what you're talking
about as being primarily aboutbeing able to say no rather than
say yes.
And what's popping for me, asyou're saying, that is,
(35:42):
self-control can also bepracticed in giving your body
what your body needs.
Growing in humility can begiving your body what your body
needs.
Growing in humility can begiving your body what your body
needs.
And so, instead of me like, goover here.
Like you know, master of theuniverse, like you know, give me
enough coffee, I'll get throughthe day, I'll power through.
Like, let me, let me be humble.
(36:03):
God, I'm a created being who'screated to need water.
I will pause these differentpoints in the day and have
enough water as an act ofhumility and submission to my
creator, and that is me walkingin self-control.
That's it.
I mean that's enough for me.
You finish the podcast byyourself.
I'm going to go beginpracticing this.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
I love that.
Well, and just like what.
I just want to throw this inthere.
Just like we talked about,breathing is recognizing the
spirit of God, the breath of God.
Just like we talked aboutbreathing is recognizing the
spirit of God, the breath of God.
Could drinking water berecognizing the river of life,
the water that will never runout?
How does Jesus say it to thewoman at the well right the?
Speaker 2 (36:43):
living water that will satisfy yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
The water that came out of his side, including the
blood right, but the water, thewater came out of his side as
well when he was pierced on thecross.
So no reason.
We can't let these things beicons, and maybe that's what
they were designed to be, josh,we talked so much about how sex
is an icon to the wedding supperof the lamb.
It's this foretaste of whatit'll be like to be united with
(37:09):
God.
How much more could be?
Or how much could alsobreathing drinking water we're
going to talk about eating, orsome of these others in a moment
.
They can be icons for us if wewould let them.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Yeah, our bodies are not just biological, as
Christopher West says, they arealso theological, and so, like
we drink water, it's a theology.
We are designed for the riverof life, we are designed for the
springs of water that well upthat we will never thirst for
again.
And if we can fast with thewords of the prayer that, lord,
(37:42):
I'm hungry for you, Can't wedrink some water and say, lord,
I'm thirsty for you, I want theeternal water that will never
run dry, man.
So, friends, please join usagain next week.
We're going to continue thisconversation, but before we sign
off, james and I want topersonally invite you to the
retreats that Regeneration'soffering this fall.
(38:02):
We've got one for men and onefor women.
They're both transformational.
For the men, we have our secondannual Awaken retreat.
If you came last year, you knowhow wonderful it was.
If you came last year, thecontent this year will be a
little bit different.
We're going to be two nights,october 3rd through the 5th,
unforgettable weekend, whereyou're going to experience being
(38:22):
known and being named throughbrotherhood, the Father's heart
and embodied healing experiences.
If you're a woman, we'd like toinvite you to the Sacred by
Design retreat.
I say invite you, we're notgoing to be there, but the women
on our team will be there.
Happening November 7th and 8th.
It's a unique space for womento slow down, connect deeply
with God and rediscover thebeauty of who they are, beyond
shame, beyond striving.
It's a weekend of truth, graceand restoration.
(38:45):
Space is limited for both ofthese.
You can find out more aboutthem in our show notes Until
next week.
Thanks,
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