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July 3, 2025 9 mins

In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host and sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman discusses the often misunderstood distinction between desire and attraction in intimate relationships. Zimmerman explains how many people confuse a decrease in spontaneous desire with a loss of attraction toward their partner. She details how desire can shift from proactive to reactive, particularly as relationships evolve, with age, stress, and familiarity. Listeners will gain insight into maintaining a healthy sex life by adapting to these changes instead of misconstruing them as a loss of attraction. Finally, she emphasizes the importance of deepening connections beyond physical appearances for long-term sexual fulfillment.


00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast

00:58 Understanding Desire vs. Attraction

02:48 The Shift from Proactive to Reactive Desire

04:45 The Role of Brain Chemistry in Desire

06:26 Adapting to Changes in Attraction

07:44 Conclusion and Listener Engagement

Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.



More info and resources:


Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast

Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast




How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com

The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

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