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July 24, 2025 6 mins

In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host and sex therapist, Jessa Zimmerman, discusses the concept of reactive desire, where individuals may not initially feel in the mood for sex but can become aroused through the process. She emphasizes the importance of entering intimate situations with an open, flexible mindset without predefined expectations, allowing for the possibility of reactive desire to manifest. Jessa advises against making upfront decisions about the sexual outcome and advocates for focusing on pleasure and connection. She also highlights the significance of mutual flexibility between partners to enhance intimate experiences. Listeners are encouraged to keep an open-ended 'maybe' attitude in intimate moments to foster spontaneity and deeper connection.


00:00 Introduction to Better Sex

00:51 Understanding Reactive Desire

02:19 The Importance of Flexibility in Desire

02:57 Avoiding Preconceived Notions

04:36 Final Thoughts and Outro

Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.



More info and resources:


Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast

Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast




How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com

The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

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