#133 - Speaking to Be Heard (Part 2 of a Deeper Dive Into the Talking Boundary)

If you haven’t heard last week’s episode yet, I recommend listening to that one too if you’re interested in this exploration of the talking boundary. In that episode, I covered what the talking boundary is, and what talking boundary violations look like. This time, I’ll move into what it looks like when you have a healthy, effective talking boundary. I’ll also share some questions to ask yourself to help ensure your talking boundary is in great shape.

 

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #133:

• The first way to use a healthy talking boundary is to say what you would like or what you want, instead of saying what the other person did that you didn’t like.
• Another important way to use your talking boundary in a healthy way is to lead with agreement. Mastering your listening boundary will also help you develop a strong, healthy talking boundary.
• Here are some questions to ask yourself when you’re using the talking boundary: 
  • Is the other person in a position to really hear me and take in what I’m saying?
  • What response do I expect to get from this person?
  • Do I need to speak my truth regardless of the response?
  • Can I express what I want to say in a way that’s completely about me?
  • Would it be better if I waited for 24 hours to say what I want to say?

 

Highlights from Episode #133:

• Did you catch last week’s episode? This one continues the exploration of the talking boundary that Vicki started then. [00:39]
• Vicki shares some thoughts on the question behind the question, “Are talking boundary violations verbal abuse?” [04:09]
• We learn the first way to use a healthy talking boundary, with Vicki offering an example from her own life. [07:27]
• Vicki offers some general questions to ask yourself before you speak. [13:07]
• It’s important to think of what your intention is before you express yourself, Vicki points out. [23:47]
• Leading with agreement is the second way to use a healthy talking boundary. [26:36]
• We learn about how one-word responses (or even silence) can work. [29:24]
• Vicki explains that mastering the listening boundary is the best way to strengthen your talking boundary. [32:15]

 

Links and Resources:

• Vicki’s monthly