#136 - When Someone You Love Is in Danger

People in your life may be facing a variety of dangers, from mental health issues or suicidal urges to addiction or unsafe behavior. But today, I’ll focus on a specific type of danger: physically or sexually abusive relationships. It’s painful to know (or suspect) that a loved one is in a relationship like this, but it’s also tough to know what to do. I’ll give you some specific advice on how to proceed—and what to avoid doing.

 

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #136:

• Here are some things to do when your loved one is in an abusive relationship:
  • Express concern and your willingness to help.
  • Give them a way to alert you that you need to call the police or help them get out of the situation.
  • Call the police if you know or have very good reason to believe that your loved one is in danger. Don’t hesitate; just do it!
  • Send your loved one healing energy, thoughts, and/or prayers.
  • Ask yourself whether what you’re planning to do might put this person in danger.
• There are also some things you should avoid doing in these circumstances:
  • Don’t communicate in writing about their relationship or safety issues (unless it’s a time-sensitive emergency).
  • Don’t suggest that the person in an abusive relationship should go to couple’s therapy.
  • Don’t confront or agitate the abuser.
  • Don’t judge your loved one who is being abused.
• Be aware that the most dangerous time for an abused person is right after they leave their abuser. The abused person should go to a domestic violence shelter (rather than a loved one’s house) when they leave, because the shelter will have resources to help.

 

Highlights from Episode #136:

• Welcome to episode 136! Let’s talk about what to do in terms of your boundaries when someone you love is in a specific kind of danger. [00:39]
• Vicki starts things off by sharing some statistics from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. [04:47]
• What are some things you should not do when you’re dealing with someone facing domestic violence? [07:20]
• Vicki talks about the most dangerous time for someone leaving an abusive relationship. [12:42]
• We learn some things that you can or should do in this type of situation. [15:24]
• Vicki shares a resource: the .css-j9qmi7{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;font-weight:700;margin-bottom:1rem;margin-top:2.8rem;width:100%;-webkit-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webkit-justify-content:start;justify-content:start;padding-left:5rem;}@media only screen and (max-width: 599px){.css-j9qmi7{padding-left:0;-webkit-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webkit-justify-content:center;justify-content:center;}}.css-j9qmi7 svg{fill:#27292D;}.css-j9qmi7 .eagfbvw0{-webkit-align-items:center;-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;color:#27292D;}