September 19, 2025 • 63 mins
In this episode of Business with Chronic Illness, I'm joined by Jason Winters, an energy alignment coach and EFT tapping practitioner, to talk about the warning signs that your business is built out of alignment, especially important for entrepreneurs managing chronic illness and unpredictable energy levels.
Jason opens up about his experience with rapid business growth that felt unsustainable, from lowering his prices out of fear to over-delivering because of self-worth issues. He shares how he recognized these patterns as symptoms of deeper misalignment and the practical steps he took to restructure his business around what actually serves his life and energy.
We dive into why entrepreneurs with chronic illness are particularly vulnerable to business burnout, the difference between fear (which is natural) and doubt (which comes from learned trauma responses), and Jason walks through his truth work method for clearing limiting beliefs that keep you stuck in exhausting cycles.
By the end of this episode, you'll walk away with:
- A framework for recognizing misalignment - the specific signs that your business decisions are coming from fear instead of values, and why over-delivering often signals deeper issues.
- Practical tools for realignment - Jason's truth work technique for separating thoughts from feelings, plus how to check your decisions against your core values instead of external pressure.
- Permission to build differently - understanding why rest builds trust in your business and how to create systems that honor your natural capacity rather than fighting against it.
Jason's story reminds us that sustainable business growth isn't about pushing harder; it's about building from a foundation that actually serves your energy and values from the start.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
What if the reason yourbusiness feels so exhausting isn't
because you're not workinghard enough, but because you're building
it completely wrong for yourbody, your reality. Your reality.
Living with chronic illness orgoing through the different challenges,
or even for your futuredreams, your future self. Today I'm
(00:23):
talking with Jason Winters, anenergy alignment coach, about the
warning signs that yourbusiness is working against your
body instead of with it, andwhy this even matters. If you've
been pushing through flare upsover delivering or feeling like you
have to choose between yourhealth and your income, this episode
(00:45):
will show you there's otherways. There's another way so that
you don't lead yourself toburnout. Jason personally shares
his experience of rapidbusiness growth, growth that nearly
broke him, and the exactframework he used to rebuild around
his values and capacity. We'llcover why entrepreneurs with chronic
(01:06):
illness are particularlyvulnerable to building businesses
that drain their energy, andhow to spot fear based decisions
before they lead you toburnout and practical steps for creating
a business that actuallysupports your well being. By the
end of this conversation,you'll have the clear framework for
recognizing misalignment earlyand the tools to build something
(01:30):
sustainable that honors bothyour ambition and your life in reality
today, whether that's withchronic illness or even if you're
healing from burnout. Now.This is one of my first episodes
with a male on the show. Jasonhas been one of my personal energy
alignment coaches. He has beena huge part of of my business and
(01:50):
my life and my growth as acoach. So I'm so excited to have
him here. I'm so excited thatyou're here to hear from him. He
creates such a safe space ofconversation and understanding and
acknowledgement and I just amso appreciative for Jason to come
onto the show. Being one ofthe first men, I'm very, very particular
about this space, you guys, soI'm glad you get to enjoy a part
(02:12):
of what has helped me tobecome the coach and has helped me
to help clients as well aswhat will help you in your journey
to grow your business. So stay tuned.
Most of us who are listeningto this podcast understand the neural
pathways on some level. Like,we may not know all the details and
we're not scientists, but weunderstand how those brain pathways
(02:35):
work. But it's the actualretraining that is the work, that
it's not easy, right? That'swhy those of us who are coaches and
those of us who are doing thiswork are still doing the work.
Foreign welcome to BusinessWith Chronic Illness, the globally
ranked podcast for womenliving with chronic illness who want
(02:57):
to start and grow a businessonline. I'm your host, Nikita Williams
and I went from living anormal life to all of a sudden being
in constant pain with noanswers to being diagnosed with multiple
chronic illnesses and tryingto make a livable income. I faced
the challenge of adaptingtraditional business advice to fit
my unique circumstances withchronic illness. Feeling frustrated
(03:18):
and more burned out than Ialready was while managing my chronic
illness to becoming an awardwinning coach with a flexible, sustainable
online coaching business, Ifound the surprisingly simple steps
to starting and growing aprofitable business without compromising
my health or my peace. Sincethen, I've helped dozens of women
just like you learn how to dothe same. If you're ready to create
(03:41):
a thriving business thataligns with your lifestyle and well
being, you're in the rightplace. Together, we're shifting the
narrative of what's possiblefor women with chronic illness and
how we make a living. This isbusiness with chronic illness. It's
(04:05):
been a long time coming for meto have this guest on the show because
it's been me. It's not been,it's not been our guest. Okay. Because
Jason has been like, hey, ifyou want me to come on, I'm like,
jason, I ain't going no man onthe show. I ain't got no men on this
show. Okay. But you've been apart of my journey for a long time
(04:28):
and you have helped me somuch. And just the journey of like
overcoming some of the stuffwe're going to talk about today,
like fears and doubts andbeing okay with shifting and changing
and what does that look like?But before we get all into that,
please tell us like, how youwould describe yourself.
(04:48):
I would say in my bio, I am anenergy alignment coach. Just simply
put. But I don't know, I don'tknow. Nikita EFT tapping practitioner
it just really depends on whatpeople are wanting or what they're
needing. But I think thatenergy alignment fits because that's
really what we're doing, iswe're just aligning our own personal
(05:10):
energy, whether it's for ourbusiness or for our health or for
our life or whatever it is.It's just figuring out how to put
those pieces together. So I, Iwould go with that for sure.
Yeah. And you are. Yeah, thatis the thing we, you do. You really
do. And it's, it's sofascinating, Jason, how you came
(05:31):
to this, like, how did youcome to this lane? Like, it's not
something that we allnaturally think about, you know,
we're all in a hurry to thinkabout the tangible things we need
to do, how many posts we needto have, how many platforms we need
to be on. Like, am I producingenough this or that? How did you
land on. Yeah, I need to workon my energy.
(05:52):
Yeah, exactly. And I love thatyou said that because honestly, Nikita,
just like last week, I was ina hurry. So it's not like you get
to a place where you're justlike, I got it all figured out. And
I think that's what. Even ifpeople don't intend to have us believe
that it's what we make it tomean when we see people on social
(06:12):
media or when we see people. Ithink it was like last year I even
sent you a DM and I was like,nikita, how are you? Like, what's
going on? Like, how are youposting so consistently and doing
all the things? And it's justlike where you have your life aligned.
Like, things work for you inthat way. And so that's why it's
really important. Because forme, that's more of a, like, it became
(06:35):
a struggle. So it's like,Jason, why are you struggling in
that area? Like, if that's notyour thing, you don't have to do
that particular thing. And soit was a place of serving me. Like,
this is what I needed becauseI didn't want burnout. I didn't.
I know that I am likeextremely highly sensitive when it
(06:56):
comes to like energy and otherpeople's energy and my own stuff.
And so I needed this businessto serve me. I needed my life to
be able to serve me. So itwasn't just in business, but it was
also life. Like, I know that Isay all the time your life informs
your business, but I saw howthat happened. So even outside of
business where we're nottalking about the people pleasing
(07:18):
and trying to do all thingsfor all people, it just doesn't work.
And so those things are notseparate. Our business doesn't live
in a vacuum where we're ableto just say, oh, this is how I run
my business and this is how Irun my life. Like, there's so much
bleed over. And so we have tolike really check that and come to
a place we realize that I amthe product. Right, you are the product.
(07:40):
So if you're not complete andwhole, then things are not going
to work well in your business.
You know, this is, this is abig topic in itself, right? This
idea that, you know, I saythis all the Time everybody know
when you listen to business ispersonal. Like I like there's a level
of personalness that comesinto your business because you are,
(08:04):
you are part of the business.Like you said, you're not in a vacuum.
Separate. And something youmentioned, which is like the energetics
or the alignment of where whatyou. What's going on in your life
and how it shows up in yourbusiness. How have you found that
to be true for you in thesense of either amplifying or I don't
(08:28):
want to say, like downplayingor limiting your growth when you
didn't operate in thatreality? That makes sense.
I love this because it's allright. So I want to say this first
of all, is that it's not. It'salmost never what we think it is.
So when I'm working withclients and they say things like,
(08:50):
I already worked through that,or I had years of therapy with that,
they thought it was that andnow they think it's no longer that
because they work through it.So it's literally always a much deeper
place, like where it comesfrom. And in this work, rather recently
(09:11):
I've learned the importance ofwhen you're doing this deeper work,
it does not mean to like, geta bigger shovel and start digging
deeper. It really comes from aplace of being more and more curious.
And that curiosity is going tolead you to a place where your body
will literally feel safeenough to explore and to see those
(09:34):
things. Because I'm justthinking right now, many of us grew
up feeling like a misfit.Whether it were true or not, it was
true for us. So you feel likea misfit. And so most people in school
or whoever you grew up aroundprobably felt that same way. So if
everyone's feeling like amisfit, are we really a misfit or
is this a normal thing thateverybody's going through? Right.
(09:57):
And so you, you get curiousabout what's going on. And for me,
there was a lot, likeemotional eating, emotional spending,
binging on things, whetherit's social media, doom scrolling
and so forth. A lot of thefocus for me was on those things,
like, oh, how do I stop this?Or how do I stop that? But genuinely,
(10:20):
it's the, it's the deeperthing. So I'll give you this quick
story. When I was 10, mygrandfather murdered my grandmother
with a gun. And then hemurdered my great grandmother, his
mom, and then. Wait a minute.Suicide, Right? Okay, I know.
Okay, okay.
(10:41):
So that happened. And I was 10years old. Now, because I've Done
so much work around thisperiod of my life. A lot of the trauma
that I had came from thisexperience, but it was before that
that it happened. What thisexperience did was it kind of really
sealed in some things andintensified trauma that was kind
(11:04):
of already there. So one, oneaspect of this. And we had so many
people at the house, likefriends, people were coming to pray
with us, like, and this was in93. I just got baptized and it was
just like my life, like lessthan a month ago. And so my life
was just like turning upsidedown. This is my grandmother, who
(11:26):
I was very close to her. Iwasn't super close to my grandfather
or my great grandmother. I wasvery close to my grandmother. So
a lot of grief and all ofthat. But the one thing, the one
thing that really stood out ina session like a few weeks ago was
that I made this time periodbecause what my family was trying
to do was protect me because Iwas so young. So the news, they were
(11:48):
like at the house. That wasback when you had the big camcorders
and stuff. It wasn't likesocial media, it wasn't even out
at that time. So we didn'topen the door for them, but they
were like knocking on thedoor. And I'm a curious 10 year old.
I'm like, oh, why are they atthe door? Like, we're not letting
them in. And then the story, Iknew that they died, but I didn't
really know the details. And Iwanted to know, like, that's a pivotal
(12:11):
age. Right. So aside from thegrief, aside from all of that, the
one aspect that really hit mewas the fact that I, and I kind of
recently learned this piece,is that I made this mean that I,
I wasn't valuable enough tohave that conversation with. What
my family was trying to do isprotect me from knowing too much
(12:33):
and being traumatized, I guess.
Yeah.
But I made this to mean that,wow, like, nobody cared enough to
tell me to sit and communicatethat with me. Right. And so then
that's where your value andit's. This is not about like pity
or, oh, poor, you know, poorthis kid or whatever. Yeah, it is
a very sad story. But when weare trying to show up in our business
(12:57):
and we're feeling like I don'tpersonally have a fear of being seen
as much of a fear of beingtruly known.
Truly.
And so the difference is like,oh, yeah, I'll show up on social
media. I don't mind being onvideo because that's just kind of
been who I am. But Truly knownis not because I'm used to being
(13:18):
in front of people, so beingseen. Right. And it's really the
same thing. Right. Because I'mshowing you with a mask who I want
you to see.
Yeah.
But when you're able to takethat off, if you're able to get to
that point, then you get toshow up in your business as who you
really are. It's a lot easier.So that's just one little aspect
(13:39):
of doing this energy work. NowI've just seen this. It doesn't mean
that now I'm just like, oh,I'm healed. And now I'm able to just
show up as who. Who I want tobe 100% and to be truly known. It's
just that, oh, now I get to bea little more curious about that
side or that aspect of thetrauma that happened.
(14:00):
I mean, there's so much there.That's some deep stuff. 1. Okay,
I also think. I think you saidit so perfectly at the beginning
of sharing this. What youthink it might be is not often what
it actually is. And also thefact that you think you've healed
(14:21):
something and you haven'treally, like, you know, I have personally
experienced that myself, whereI'm like, I thought I was worked
through that. I thought I wentthrough that. And you in a whole
different environment.Environment, space, time of your
life. And it's like, no, youdidn't. No, you didn't. And I think
this is a question I oftenhear from my clients, which is like,
(14:42):
Nikita. And I'm sure you hearthis, too, is like, well, if that's
the case, to your point, like,now I'm aware of this. Now I know
that this contributes to mybeing authentically who I'm really
wanting to be. If I'm alwaysuncovering, always learning all of
these things, how can Iactually be present and have that
(15:07):
quote, unquote, work for mybusiness? Because in my opinion,
personally, it's justsomething that you. You move through,
you work with, instead of itbeing like, the thing that just stops
you. Because having identitycrisis is never helpful in. In a
business. It feels like itdoesn't feel helpful. Like, wait
a minute. Wait. That's not whoI am. Wait, you just want to shut
(15:28):
down the business? You know,those are the kind of things that
leaves you kind of feelingstuck. So if a person's listening
to this and they're like,okay, Jason, you just shared that
huge story, but also, you'removing through this. You're still
running a business. You'restill being curious. How do you actually
do both versus just free spawn?
Yeah. So one of the things.And it's not just one thing, and
(15:52):
that's what I'm saying. One ofis it's the judgment that we put
on it. And when you are goingthrough something and you're sharing
it with a friend, or you maybe sharing something with your husband,
or I'm sharing something withmy wife, or she's sharing with me,
the one thing that's reallyvaluable in not conversation or that
(16:16):
interaction is just to. Wasfor someone to listen to you, to
hear you, to acknowledge you,and just kind of be with you. Right.
Just. Just a friend or youhave someone in that relationship.
It's really, really good.Nikita. It is very, very challenging
for most people to just dothat for themselves.
(16:38):
Yep.
Right. And so hard. What we donot like or appreciate is when someone's
like, okay, yeah, thathappened too, you know, and they're,
like, telling their story, sothey make it about them, or they
invalidate your feelings,like, you'll be all right, but you
always work through it, youknow, so it's somehow they're, like,
pushing us aside and notreally listening or hearing you.
(17:01):
We can feel that, and itdoesn't feel good. And it makes us,
like, kind of wrap up thatconversation. Or, you know, some
people respond differently.Like, they may just tell the person,
like, I don't appreciate that.But for me, I'm just like, okay,
I'm done. I'm gonna wrap upthis conversation. Because they're
not available. And just whereI am, I understand that they're not
available, but everybodydoesn't, like, see that or understand
(17:21):
that. I think that part ofthis awareness, Nikita, is understanding
that about ourselves, thejudgment that we put on these things
and on our business, it's likea heavy judgment, like, I should
be doing this. I should behere. I've been doing this for five
years, and I'm still notmaking X amount of dollars. There's
(17:44):
a lot of judgment. And so toyour question about doing all the
work, that's the part wherewe're shifting slightly to you being.
I don't. I don't want to saycomfortable with uncomfortable, because
that's, like, overdone. Andit's not really what I mean, but
it's more of. There's a levelof patience and understanding, and
(18:08):
there's a. There's a. Yourvalues that are. That are under attack,
if I can say that. So when Ispeak to coaches, majority of them,
like, you know, I want to bein alignment. And I want, you know,
I want to be in a space wheremy family is valued first. Like,
they have these values, andthen their identity is connected
(18:31):
to so many things that are notgrounded in their values, like how
much money they make or howmany clients they're having or how
quickly their business isgrowing. And so for me, it is very
important that this inner workbe the. It's not comfortable. Like,
I'm going through some thingsright now in my business because
(18:53):
it's just different levels. Soif you think that this is the. Like,
once I get past this point,then I like the. Then I. When I.
Then I. Thinking it's verydisrespectful to the body. Like,
it's disrespectful to you.
And.
And so grounding in yourvalues. I think it's important. And
if you have. If you have that,it's very, very helpful because it's
(19:16):
not like working over and overagain. Then I have one other thing,
but I want to give you achance to respond if that's helpful.
No, go ahead, because I have acouple of questions. Okay, so go
with your next one.
The other thing that may bereally helpful for listeners, like,
really, really helpful is tobe very clear. And I wish I written
(19:38):
these questions down, but itcould be something like, give me
an example of one thing thatyou're. That, like, your clients
may say or like a real issue.So your question was, like, all these
things that all the work andall the things. Give me an example
of something that somebodylike a limiting belief or some fear
(19:58):
or something that is real thatthat comes up for your clients.
If I change my mind, I'm doingsomething wrong. If I started doing
something and now I'm changingmy mind how I want to do it, then
that means when I'm startingover and I did something wrong or
I failed, that's a. Yeah,okay, good.
(20:20):
So let's go with one. Sothere's actually a few things in
there. And this is really goodbecause we get to see how our brains
just run ahead. Like, that'sthe anxiety where we're just running
ahead or catastrophizing orwhat have you. So let's just stick
with one thing. For instance,if I change my mind, then that means
(20:41):
that all of what I did was afailure. Okay? So recognizing that
thought, or you could call ita belief. So the first thing is we
want to just acknowledge thatin the moment. So this isn't like,
I mean, to me, this is deepwork, but this isn't like, you know,
(21:03):
eft tapping or breath work oranything. This is, like, right now.
Like, I'm gonna take a pause,and I'm gonna take that. If I change
my mind, then that means thatall of what I did, like that was
worthless. I failed. Right? Sowe're gonna use the other part of
our brain to say, well,Nikita, what is the truth? Right?
(21:27):
So for your client, what. Whatcould a truth be?
That's. It depends on who itis. But it's like a truth is. Like,
that statement isn'tnecessarily true, but more or less,
everybody changes their mind.Like, that's. Yeah, that's normal.
Yeah. Well, I love the. The. Ilove that, like, everybody gets to
(21:48):
change their mind, right? AndI get to change my mind. Like, the
truth is I get to change mymind. That is the truth, right? If
that's true for you, thenthat's true for you. And we're not
looking to make up something,but we want something that is going
to be, like, true for you. Soone that comes to my mind is, what
is it? If I change my mind, Ifail. Oh, you know what? I learned
(22:10):
so much from this experience.Okay? So it does not. You're not
denying the fact that you feeldisappointed or you feel whatever
the feeling is or the emotionbehind that. When I think this, I
feel this. But the truth is, Iactually learned so much from that
(22:34):
experience. The truth is, Irealized after a few months that.
Or after a couple years, thatmy heart really isn't in it anymore
as it was when I started. Thetruth is, I get to change my mind.
And so that is. I know itsounds like simple, but that is like,
(22:55):
not giving your brain theopportunity to understand, and you're
separate. So that's how we'reuntangling this massive braid of
confusion and judgment and allthese things, because we're not dismissing
the thought, we're notdismissing the feeling. We're just
bringing in the truth. Andthat's the part that we. We kind
(23:18):
of use as a throwaway, and wesay things like, well, I know. I
know that I learned a lot,but. No, no, we want. Just like you
had that thought stand out. Ifeel like a failure, full stop. Right?
I feel disappointed in myself,full stop. The truth is. Full stop.
So we need the brain to getall of those pieces. And that. That's
(23:40):
really, really helpful.
How is that helpful, Jason?Because to your point, I think when
I was doing some moreresearch, when I was in the eft,
the thing that I remember, andI still remember, I learned this
in aromatherapy. I learnedthis in coaching, that our brain
naturally just takes thenegative outweighs any positive.
(24:02):
It's. I mean, even inpsychology, things that I've learned
and read, like, we willcompletely disassociate from the
truth. Like, we will. I'llgive you an example. People who are
like, that doesn't happen. Myhusband recently, he had given a
talk and like a public talkout in front of people, and someone
had said to him, that wasreally good. Like, I really enjoyed
(24:23):
the part. And so later on,later on I was telling him, hey,
yeah, that was really good.Even. So and so said, that was good.
And he's like, nobody saidthat to me. And I was like, I was
standing right next to youwhen this person, like a whole, like,
wasn't just like a blip. Itwas a whole conversation of how much
they enjoyed yourconversation, your talk. And he's
(24:44):
like, I don't even rememberthat. And that's literally our brain
just throwing away. It's likeanother illustration of you saying,
like, yeah, you believe allthese negative things or negative
or not, maybe they are how youfeel, they are how you perceive right
now, but there's also a truththat you're missing, which was, for
example, with my husband, youdid a great job, and you've just
(25:04):
dismissed that. And so to yourpoint, when we're doing this work
on ourselves, it is so easyfor us to just be like, I am horrible.
I failed. I this, I that, andnot sit with the other aspect of
that of. I also learned a lot.So how does someone start that practice
of engaging with that truth asmuch as we engage with those negative
(25:28):
or not even negative? I don'teven like calling them negative because
they're just feelings andtheir thoughts and that's what they
are, Right?
Absolutely. So you said it.Basically, that's. That's what we
do, is we recognize like, thatthe brain is looking for the familiarity,
which, honestly, it is. It isnegative in a sense that it's looking
(25:49):
to keep you safe. So it'slooking for danger. Is looking for
danger. So in the example ofyour husband, I can really relate
to that. A part of it could bethat he ignored what the people said.
Another part is what helps usto remain safe is confirming what
we can expect. So we knowconfirmation bias, right? If I am
(26:13):
biased in a certain direction,then everything's going to confirm
that for me. Even if it's notconfirmed really happening that way,
I'm gonna be like, oh, yeah,see, nobody liked it, right? Because
we need we need that, but thatstarts from us. And so we're. If
you have someone walking in acircle and everybody's walking in
that same circle, it's goingto be like a well worn path, right?
(26:39):
And we know this. We alreadyknow this, right? Most of us who
are listening to this podcastunderstand the neural pathways on
some level. Like, we may notknow all the details, and we're not
scientists, but we understandhow those brain pathways work. But
it's the actual retrainingthat is the work, that it's not easy.
(27:02):
Right. That's why those of uswho are coaches and those of us who
are doing this work are stilldoing the work. If we never get the
flag at the top of the hill,like, we're still going through this
jungle, but we're creating apath where you think of, okay, we've
been going in the same circle,now we're actually going through
the jungle. So I'm going toneed some scissors to start snipping
(27:23):
some things away. Like, youcan't just go in with a lawnmower
into the jungle. It justdoesn't work that way. Like, you're
going to need different toolsand patience. And if you are valuable
enough or if you don't feellike you're valuable enough, that's
fine, too. It is yourresponsibility to do this work for
(27:45):
yourself now. It is your loadto carry. No one else can do this
for you, right? No one elsecan. It is your responsibility and
you are going to lean into.Why am I doing this? For me first,
a lot of us are like, well, Ilove people and I want to help people,
but if you're in thisparticular struggle, then your personal
(28:08):
value and your deserve levelhas to be raised. And so that's why
I feel like this truth workwith tapping or breathwork or aromatherapy
or whatever you'rerecommending is very important because
you need to see the truth andknow that it's the truth so that
you have something to kind ofbend back to. Like, think this, I
(28:32):
feel this, but I know this,right? You're. You're having that
and the brain is going to workit. Like, it can't not work.
Yeah, it is really interestingwhen I think about this because we,
we started this off with, howdoes this affect our businesses?
How does this affect how we'reshowing up? And there are. I'm gonna
(28:55):
play a little bit of devil'sadvocate here. There are a lot of
people specifically anddepending on, like, where they are,
but a lot of people feel like,oh, this is Just woo, woo, woo. Like,
this is just. Woo. Like, thisis just, you know, we just need to
hustle through this. We justneed to do the. If your business
isn't working is. Isn'tbecause your energetics aren't aligned.
(29:16):
Like, you know, there's all ofthese things. Like, there's other
reasons why your businessisn't working.
Yeah.
For a person who is not soldor not in the space of believing
that the energetics are a partof this or that they're even important
to this conversation aboutbusiness, life, whatever. Right.
Yeah.
What would you tell thisperson right now?
(29:38):
I would. And this is not.Like, this is with the most love.
If what you're doing isworking, then continue that. Like,
continue that. If you arecomfortable with pushing through
your flare ups and ignoringyour body and doing the hustle. I
(30:01):
don't really think that Nikitaspace is really, like, I don't really
think. But you cannot put,like, you cannot build a strategy
on top of a weak foundation.And I think that we as humans, like,
we gotta respect the body, thebrain, the person. And if you're
(30:23):
not down for that, then Iwould say continue doing what you're
doing if that's working foryou. Like, I don't mean like, no.
Like, at a point you will getthere where you're just like, I can't
anymore, and then come backand we'll have a conversation. But
I would not. I would. Here'swhy I would not convince people,
because they need to be ableto trust themselves. And when we
(30:48):
get in the business ofconvincing, then they don't trust
themselves. And sometimes ittakes a little bit of a different
journey for them to see, like,okay, maybe this doesn't work, but
that's what I would say. It'sjust like, really? That's one thing.
But if you're kind of curiousabout it and you genuinely, like,
you're not against it, butyou're just, like, really not seeing
(31:10):
it, then I would just sayexplore your own feelings and emotions
and the reason why you'redoing what you're doing. And are
you, you know, ask yourselfthe question of, like, why am I doing
this? Who am I doing this for?Like, how are you valuing yourself?
And we know that, like, areyou taking care of your health? Are
(31:30):
you taking care of your mind?Are you taking care of your body?
Are you, Are yourrelationships okay? Are you finding
yourself arguing all the time?Is your business the center of something?
Something that's not all clearand good? You know, it's like you're
going to know. You're going toknow if you're in alignment. You're
going to know if you haveharmony. You will know if you're
(31:53):
willing to check in, if youare ignoring these things. And there's
this fear that comes up that,oh, I don't. I can't slow down. Like,
I have to, you know, I gotta.I gotta keep it moving. Then that's.
That's your sign. Like, that'scommunicating to you that there's
something else that you wanna consider.
(32:15):
Love that answer, Jason. Thatwas perfect. And it's true. It's
like, you know, I'll tell thisstory too, where, you know, at one
point when I was working withyou, Jason, there was this aspect
of me, like, hey, I want to,like, really lean into doing the
podcast. I want it to be thefull thing. And I remember being
so excited, and I remember,like, y', all, this is. This might
(32:38):
be it. Nikita is all in it.And there was something. I had received
coaching, and this is. This isnot to fault the coach.
Right.
Okay, y', all, like. And itwasn't Jason who was the coach who
said this, but it was anothercoach who said something to me that
just played into the fears Ihad and the doubts I had that put
(33:00):
that, like, in the corner.Right? Until one day I was like,
what? To your point? Iconvinced myself that's crazy. That
is crazy that I just put thatover here and did not want to lean
into this space because it'sdifferent, because it's changing,
but it's like, it's really notdifferent. It's really not that crazy.
(33:22):
Right. But I had to convincemyself, did I go a long way around
the corner to figure that out?Absolutely. But nobody else could
have told me that. Nobodyelse. Right. Like, Jason was probably
the one who told me, Nikita, Idon't know about that, but if this
is where you feel like youwant to put it down, go ahead. Like,
(33:44):
what are you gonna do?
Yeah.
And I think it's important toremember in our own journey, sometimes
we will take the long. Thelong route. Like, the long. The long
way, the hard knock way. Idon't even know if it's the hard
knock way, because you learneda lot along that way, but it is your
own knowing, your own intointuition, and then your own other
(34:06):
things that you bring intothat space that you realize, okay,
I've been convinced that thisis the lane. So when we talk about
clearing fear, doubt, andresistance, because those are honestly
the three things that stop usfrom pursuing some of the Things
that are in alignment. How dowe do that?
So similar to what we justtalked about, we do need to understand
(34:31):
what it is like, on a morespecific level. We can generally
work on fear, like withtapping, we can generally allow our
body to process these generalemotions. But I think that being
that we're the product, right.We need to understand on some level
(34:52):
where this stuff started from.Like, who informed me? And the reason
is because trauma is the thingthat holds us back in our business.
So it causes this fearresponse. So we're doubting ourselves,
we're having fear, and thenwe're resisting because it's not
safe to move in thosedirections. So it's literally you're
(35:15):
pushing away. Whether it'sphysically pushing or just like energetically,
you're still doing the samething. It's like, no, like, I cannot
be in that space. And when wehave trauma from a young age, we
all have enters the bodythrough the senses. And so there's
an experience that wephysically have that keeps us from
(35:40):
doing things in our businessthat causes that fear response. And
so I want to be very clearthat we're not having to do all of
this work before we getstarted or continue in our business,
because that is an importantpiece that I want to emphasize. I'm
not going to say what otherpeople are doing, but I really want
(36:02):
to emphasize that when we'rebuilding our business, it's very
important that we are parallelwhen it comes to this mindset, energy,
emotional work alongside thestrategy, the actual building of
the business, the movingforward in your business. Because
there's. There are things thatare more triggered, more or less,
(36:25):
depending on who. But I'm. I'musing this term loosely. There's
nothing more triggering thanbuilding a business. As an entrepreneur,
highly sensitive people whoare dealing with chronic issues like
how triggering, triggering isthat, like, I'm sick all the time,
how am I going to find time todo a business? And I'm. I can't even
get out of bed right. So howtriggering is doing this going to
(36:48):
be? So you really don't wantto be in this space of just constantly
doing energy work. And inthis, like, there is the duality
that's very important whereyou do, you're building your business
and you're doing. So as thingscome up for you, as you're building
your business and things comeup for you, you're able to then use
(37:12):
your tools in the work to move forward.
Yeah. And to your point, Ithink it's so true, Jason, because
it's like we have, you can'tjust do like the mind needs also
like other evidence. Like ifyou are, if you are believing that
this, you're like, I'm goingto start a business. And you're triggered
(37:34):
by this fear of like, oh, I'mgonna be in a flare up, I'm gonna
be all these things. It'sgonna, it's gonna do all of these
things to me. And so if you'reoperating in that mind, in that fear
and you're not also takinglike the baby tangible strategy steps,
your brain will have noevidence to prove that that's wrong.
Like, you have to be likedoing something to kind of counteract
(37:57):
your fears in the same space.Does that mean that you won't have
a flare up because you'removing? No, but you will open an
opportunity to be aware of whythat might have happened, what may
have triggered that. Is itjust the one thing you thought that
did it? For me personally, thethings I've learned about running
(38:18):
a business with chronicillness has taught me so much about
like what other thingsactually trigger me that has made
running a business harder, hasnine times out of ten has nothing
to do with the business. Ithas more to do with what I'm doing,
my personal life, myrelationships, like everything else.
Like, and it just happens tobe that when I got to go to work,
(38:39):
it might be triggered in that,like it comes more. It manifests
itself in a different way inthat space. But nine times out of
10, my brain is very much moreaware of like, oh, no, no, no. You
had that text message thatcame in from so and so and you ignored
it. And you're like, I'm fine,but you're not fine. You are not
fine. Like, like these things.And so I think to your point is we
(39:02):
can't take out the mindsetwork or the energy work and keep
them over here and just workthrough them. You have to be in motion
to receive that which makessense because energy is in motion.
Yeah, right. And I think thistalks to the same point of two, like,
(39:23):
you know, some clients havesaid to me, well, energy won't make
me money. Like, energy won'taffect how like the strategy is going
to work. And I have thoughtson, I have many things I say about
that. But how is moneyattached to some of these feelings
of fear, doubt and resistancewhen we bringing this into our business?
(39:44):
Like, why is that also anamplifier of why you might not think
or you might think it's justthe fear of being visible that's
getting in the way. But italso could be the money that you
might be thinking is going tobe coming your way or not coming
your way.
Yeah, I, I understand wherepeople are coming from and, and that
(40:04):
it makes so much sense. Itreally does. Like, if you. You don't
just think and then moneycomes. Right. That's not how it works.
But I, I often tell thiswhenever I'm explaining to people
the difference between yourenergy around making money. Okay.
So most of us worked a job andwe earned money, and then we become
(40:33):
entrepreneurs, and it's awhole different energy of receiving
money. So it's a wholedifferent energy because this is.
I work this many hours, I'mgoing to get this many dollars. This
is. When am I going to get myfirst client to. Are they going to
continue with me? Right. It'smore of your value, your personal
(40:53):
value. You're receiving.You're not really earning. Okay.
So to prove how differentlyyou function around these energies,
when you are in earning energyand you work, you will find people
(41:14):
who will spend their paycheck.Two weeks, they haven't even gotten
it yet, but they've either putthe money here or they're like, they
already know what they'regonna buy. You know, I'm gonna get
my hair done, I'm gonna get mynails done. I'm gonna, you know,
buy this wallet or whatever itis, all these things that I'm already
(41:34):
allocating this money for. Andso when people get their check, it's
kind of gone for that reasonbecause they've been in this a lot
more trusting in this moneybecause they believe in this company.
It's been proven that themoney is gonna come. Right. But when
you have to believe inyourself, oh, fear, doubt. Right.
(41:57):
It's like, it's a lot lesscertain. Yeah, right. There's this
doubt, this uncertainty whenit comes to your business. And so
I think that that is energy.It's how you move, how you function.
Whereas if someone says, youknow what, I'm going to pay you,
if you run this business,like, you would just move differently.
(42:18):
Right? You're going to movedifferently. And so we, again, it
is looking at, okay, so whatis energy around my value? Because
that's what you're getting isyour value that you believe in yourself,
not what other. How otherpeople value you. And so that's another
misconception. People like,oh, you have to provide value. Value,
value. Yeah.
But who.
(42:39):
Who sees the value first isyou. Like, you are the product, like
you are the person. You arethe value. And so as you raise your
value for yourself and yourdeserve level and so forth, that's
going to naturally and thatis. I'm not going to say that that's
easy to believe in, Nikita.Like, I don't have a. It's not woo
(43:01):
woo at all. I'm not, I'm notabout that life. But it is true.
True, right?
It is true. True. I love it.Oh, yeah, Yeah. I think, yeah, I
think it's that intersection.And I think as entrepreneurs, this
is the hardest thing,especially if you are a sensitive
(43:24):
empath, highly like connectingwith people. You're. You're very
much driven by how you give orperceive how you're giving. Like
all of those feely things thatwe have and run a business. I like.
Right before this call, Jason,I was talking with another friend
who's very similar in the sameaspect of things, of that feeling
(43:46):
of like when you shift andgrow and move while you've been building
something. You've beenbuilding. Right. It is a challenge
to figure out how to likeevolve, like evolve into this new
thing. And it's a challengemostly because of fear, doubt and
(44:10):
resistance. Right. It's likethe fear of, like, I built this thing
and I'm worried that now thatI built this theme that I don't know
if this is going to work. If Ichange it to this thing. I'm experiencing
this myself personally withthe podcast. Like, if I change the
podcast, if I change my focus,how is this going to feel? This is
very different from what itwas before. Oh my gosh. Like, there's
all these things and for me,the. One of the most grounding things
(44:34):
has been helpful is, like yousaid, acknowledging the truth. Acknowledging
to me what's helpful isacknowledging the lies. Because I
will bring up some lies allday long about something until it's
presented to me in my brain.Either someone's told me that this
is a lie, I see evidence thatit's a lie, or I am being curious,
(44:56):
more than judgmental, toacknowledge, okay, the thing that
you're feeling and believingis a lie. Like, that's not true.
So what is some steps for youpersonally in your own journey when
it comes to clearing fear,doubt and resistance that has helped
you move while you're growinga business and while you're supporting
(45:18):
your clients? That's been apractice that's been helpful or more,
it could be multiple. Butlike, what has helped you live in
integrity of doing the workthat we're talking about right now.
So one of the things Nikita isI started to grow rather quickly
at the end of 2024 and I wasvery excited. But I quickly realized
(45:42):
that I needed to slow thingsdown because there was some misalignment.
And so the reason I am soadamant about this is because if
you build your business out ofalignment, then it's going to grow
and you're going to not loveit. It's going to take something
(46:03):
that you absolutely love andyou're just, it's going to be a headache.
And so you want to make surethat it can serve you. I don't have
chronic illness, but I do haveconstant things that I contend with.
Right. I have a young kid, Ihave family, I have other stuff.
And so I want to make surethat this business serves me as much
as I serve it. And so anytimeI am looking at why I'm making a
(46:27):
decision, I'm looking at myvalues. And because I'm a believer,
I have a much higher sourcethat I can tap into. And so I absolutely
do that. But in addition tothat, I'm checking into what, what
informed these beliefs andwhat happened that kind of informed
these beliefs and what I madethings to mean. So that's sort of
(46:49):
like that truth. I'm trying tothink of an example of something
recently that, that came up.So like, let's just say growth, business
growth in general. That's oneof the things like I feel like the
phases are you're, you'rebuilding, you're growing or you're
scaling. And a lot of peoplelistening to this is probably in
the building and the growingphase. So you're building something
or you're trying to grow thething that you built. Okay. And so
(47:13):
for me it was scaling. I waslike, oh no, I can't, I can't scale
this. So I had to kind of goback into the building part to restructure
some things and then grow thatso that now I can scale it the right
way. So you realize sometimeswhen you get into the scaling phase
of like, oh, I didn't buildthis the best way because if I scale
this, it's going to be aburden on me. I'm going to be overwhelmed,
(47:35):
I'm going to be stressed. Andso that part, I hope this is answering
your question, that part linksto the fear because the reason I
built it to, I don't want tosay the wrong way, but I built it
in a way that wasn'tsustainable to scale is because I
made fear based decisions inthe building phase. So it's not going
to scale according To. Right.I didn't consider, like, oh, I'm
(47:59):
doing all of this overdelivering, but I can't scale over
delivering because it's notreally. I'm sorry, y'. All.
I feel. I feel personallyattacked, though. I'm not. I'm just
saying. I'm just saying. Yes.
And so that goes to personalstuff. Like, I mean, I'm just being
(48:22):
honest. Like, it's not thestuff that, you know, black men are
sitting around talking aboutis their value and their worth. Like,
it took a nose dive. It didn'ttake a nose dive. I didn't see it.
I didn't see how low of selfworth there was. And so that makes
you do things in your businessto get value, but it's fleeting.
(48:44):
It's very temporary. It wasfor me. I'll speak for myself. It
was very temporary. It's like,whether it's praise or more clients,
it's like, you really reducethat to get a client. Like, but now
you're. You're misalignedbecause they didn't pay, you know,
the value that they reallygot. Because you don't value yourself.
That's the only reason you'regonna, like, lower your. Not the
(49:06):
only reason, but lower it tothe point where you're devaluing
yourself. So I would say thatit's important to just get to those.
Some of those emotional roots.And that does require working with
somebody like you or myself,like somebody who can help you to
see these blind spots. Right.It's just important emotional side
(49:27):
of things. For. For yourdoubt. Like, fear is something that
we are absolutely born with.Right? We have it. Fear in a lot
of different ways.
We need fear. We need thatstress. Yes.
Yes.
We need. We need that. Yeah.
Doubt. We were not born withthat. That's why kids are ready to
touch the hot stove, becauseit's instilled. So when we're doubting
(49:49):
ourselves, it's alwayssomething that someone told us, like,
don't touch that or becareful, or don't get too, you know,
don't get too big for yourbritches or whatever these statements
are. All of these things.Like, money doesn't grow on trees,
so that creates scarcity. Allthis stuff, the doubt that we have,
it always can be traced backto someone or something that you
(50:12):
received through your senses.Something you saw, some trauma told
you to doubt this thing. Andit's not always bad, right? Sometimes
it's good to kind of doubtthings. Like, I don't know, I'll
wait and see. You know, it'sGood. But a lot of times it's not
just wait and see. It's like,I am not good enough. Right. So the
(50:32):
trauma senses, I saw it, Itouched it, I, you know, smelled
it or something that informedthat this is not safe for me. And
so that's what I've beendoing. Nikita is just looking like,
where am I not moving forwardif I'm like, in honoring myself?
If I'm tired, I'm going torest. Do you know that rest actually
(50:54):
builds trust in you and your business?
Jason, when I tell you thisyear has been a lesson in what true
rest means, it's different.The thing I. I saw this thing on
Tick Tock. I'm. I'm a new TickTocker. And I was like, you know,
that is so true. I used tothink that rest meant I planned out
(51:16):
my day where I was going torest and I was gonna do all of these
rusty things. And I realizedthat was just another mirage of me
doing stuff versus me doing,like, actually resting. Right. And
I'm learning even withinmyself that I have to do my rest.
(51:37):
I have to do what that mightand is supposed to look like. And
I judge it. I'm not curiousabout it. If I sit in the bed, I'm
sitting there thinking I got alot of stuff to do that is more productive
in my rest. Like, what sickdoes that make that's not restful?
Like, come on now. Like, so,like, I'm learning even in that connotation,
(51:59):
because all of that has beenconditioning that all of that has
come from, even traumaexperiences from what I see with
my parent, like, all of thesethings. And so you. You really have
to become, like, this curiousbeing of what do these words and
things that we're doingactually mean? And what. What are
(52:20):
we doing? Like, what are wedoing? What are we not doing? And
giving ourselves permission tofigure that out versus rushing it
versus beating ourselves up.And I think the challenge, and this
is. We talk a lot about thison the show, but the challenge between.
And you understand this as afather, as. As a son, as all of these
(52:40):
things, taking care of afamily, to run a business because
you got bills to pay and healbecause you got to live to pay them
bills. So I think the biggestchallenge I find many of us have
is finding the alignment inthose two things. Because they feel
like they're polar opposites.Yes. Right. So, yeah.
(53:04):
Yeah.
So I'm curious, Jason, whenyou said you experienced growth in
2024, because you said that,it made me think, and I wanted to
Go back to that. What did thatmean for you when you're like, oh,
I'm experiencing growth andthis is happening. And wait a minute,
I need to slow this down.
Yes.
What switched. What do youthink happened?
(53:27):
More clients were coming in,so I needed to raise my prices. And
that's not like. It wasn't,like, from a place of greed. It was
because I lowered them so Icould get more clients. And so I'm
like, oh, that's when Iswitched out of alignment. Yes, I
got more clients, but it wasno longer sustainable. So it kind
of begs the question, well, ifI didn't lower them, would the people
(53:48):
have come and, you know, allof these things? So that's how it.
That's how the brain works.Right? And so that's where we're
kind of like, oh, I noticedthis thought that comes up. The truth
is, I lowered my prices andmore people came in, and now I have
the opportunity to raise them.And that's. That's. That's the truth.
Right? So these. All thechatter, we're not turning it off.
(54:08):
That's what. I don't believethat we should turn it off. We need
to acknowledge it. But that'swhat it looked like. It looked like
slowing down so that I can seewhat I needed to do, like, turning
off some things, like, okay,yeah, we're not. We're not. We got
enough right now. It's not themonetary goal that I want, but it's
a. I'm at capacity as far asthe people that I want to serve,
(54:31):
so I could have brought morepeople on, but I was at capacity
for where I want to be becauseI had already aligned, like, my calendar,
my days that I'm working allof these things, and now I'm ready
to shift and take on morepeople than I already kind of decided
for myself. But why? And thatwas a fear move. I don't want to
(54:56):
turn people away or refer themto other coaches or put them on a
wait list. And so that was myresponse. Like, I need to, you know,
and also some people pleasingand some things like that that came
in, like, why am I. Why don'tI want to put them on a wait list?
Because I don't want to makepeople wait, and I didn't want to.
(55:17):
And so it really quickly goesinto personal. And as a little boy,
like, you're taught to behumble and serve others and give
and hold the door. And, youknow, so I made that to mean that,
like, you always hold the doorfor people. You always do this like
it's my own. What I made it tomean it. What didn't mean that My
(55:37):
parents were teaching me toput everybody ahead of me, but that's
how I was trained, that youalways put people first, people,
other people first. You know,people come to your house, you have
to serve the socks off ofthem. And, you know, you just. That's
how we were. That's how I wasraised. And I'm like, oh, yeah, that
does not serve my business.And that's not true that I have to
do that.
(55:58):
I mean that right there. Imean that right there. Right. I mean
that right there. I think it'spowerful for you to share that in
real life because I think wehear a lot about just like, oh, yeah,
energetically, and what doesthis look like? And I feel like we
gave everyone good, tangibleexamples of what this looks like,
(56:20):
especially when we saybusiness is personal. Energetics
matter, alignment matters.Seeing how these things roll off
into our businesses, I thinkwe gave some examples there. So tell
us how people can learn moreabout what you're doing, how they
can connect with you. What isyour mission, purpose right now with
(56:44):
your business that's going on?Because I, you know, I. I love me
some Jason, y'. All. I couldtalk about Jason all day long. I
just. Y' all just don't know.But, yeah.
Yeah. So I have two thingsthat I'm working on now, and it is
the EFT tapping academy. SoI'm teaching coaches, or people are
not coaches, but maybe theywant to learn how to do this work,
(57:04):
how to deepen their own workor how to help other people. So if
you're already. This is bestfor people already kind of coaches
or, you know, if you're atherapist or massage therapist or
anything like that, and youwant to add this to your practice
or if it's something thatyou're interested in doing. And then
the business alignmentecosystem, it's kind of similar to
the work. I know what you do,Nikita. It's very similar to aligning,
(57:28):
you know, your business withyour life and making sure that there's
alignment. The one slightdifference that we offer is, is our
platform with it. So it's verysimilar. When you come into that
program, we have freedom typesthat you work through. So your time
freedom, just making sureyou're honoring that, your financial
freedom, your goals. So whatfinancial freedom looks like to everyone
(57:52):
is different. And so we workthrough that. And then it's your
location freedom. So somepeople want to be able to travel
and live in different parts ofthe world. And so we, we really build
your business. We help you todo that around your freedom types.
So it's very specific to you.And then we have a platform that
helps you to kind of build allof those things as well. So yeah,
(58:13):
that's, that's what we'redoing. I'm not currently taking any
one on ones right now. I haveone spot that may be opening up in
mid June or something, but I'mnot sure if they're going to resign.
But yeah, that's, that's howin, in those programs there's coaching
by me and, and my businesspartner. We offer coaching there.
It's. It's an amazing program.I think so.
(58:35):
I mean it really is. I think,you know, when I first started tapping
for a lot of people, EFT isnew. Don't know what it is, don't
understand what it is. We'llhave a link to some of you. You have
some YouTube channels, YouTubevideos on like what it is, how it
works. But it was one of themost powerful things that I incorporated
(58:57):
and just being able to namethe feeling, where it was in my body,
how it felt and what it, whatit might look like, and give myself
permission to feel thefeeling. Because sometimes we are
just in it and we're judgingit and we can't even do anything.
When you're in judgment zone,you just literally can't. You just
(59:18):
can't go anywhere other thannowhere. And so it really has been
a huge part of my journey forchronic illness, for relationships,
all of those things, like justbeing able to be really familiar
with all of those things. Andit's helped a lot in a lot of different
ways. And thanks to you and acouple other coaches that have really
(59:41):
helped in that space, it's apowerful thing. So if you guys haven't
ever done it and you don'tknow what we're talking about, or
if you have and you've beenseeing it and you want to add it
as a modality in your, in yourcoaching business, I highly recommend
it. And if you want it fromsomeone who knows what they're talking
about and has theunderstanding and knows the nuance
(01:00:02):
and capacity without theadditional. There is woo when it
comes to this topic. Some wayto woo. It's just woo. And then a
whole nother planet. This islike seriously dialed in, grounded,
scientific. And I love thatthat's the angle that you come and
you, you keep that in becauseit's helpful.
(01:00:26):
Yeah, yeah. And if they useyour affiliate link, they can get
A seven day free trial. Socome in, check it out, see if you
like it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, thankyou so much, Jason, for coming on
and being one of the first menon the show.
I am.
So you might just be the onlyone between you and my husband. I
just, you know, talk aboutfear. That's a fear, having a man
(01:00:48):
come up on this show otherthan someone I intimate. Like, I
feel like I really know you,Jason. So that's why it felt very.
I could do this, do this,Nikita. So I'm really thankful for
you.
No, I appreciate that there'sa lot of spaces that are kept for
women and I appreciate thatit's important that there's a safe
(01:01:09):
space for women to be in. Andthat's why I really appreciate the
women who work with me becauseI know that they're bringing a lot
of women bring some thingsthat it takes a lot. They're ready
to heal through some things,and working with a man actually allows
them to do that. And I justhonor them because I don't know what,
you know, I don't know whatthat's, you know, what that's like
(01:01:30):
or anything, but it's, it's,it's an amazing, it's an amazing
work. So thank you for allthat you do.
Oh, thank you. I appreciateit. I received that. Thank you, Jason.
Yes, absolutely.
All right, you guys, we'll seeyou in the next one. That's a wrap
(01:01:54):
for this episode of Businesswith Chronic Illness. If you you
would like to start and growan online business with me, head
to the show Notes to click alink to book a sales call and learn
how to make money with chronicillness. You can also check out our
website@ww.CraftedToThrive.comfor this episode's show notes and
join our email list to getexclusive content where I coach you
(01:02:14):
on how to chronically grow aprofitable business while living
with chronic illness. Untilnext time, remember, yes, you are
crafted to thrive.
What if the reason yourbusiness feels so exhausting isn't
because you're not workinghard enough, but because you're building
it completely wrong for yourbody, your reality. Your reality.
Living with chronic illness orgoing through the different challenges,
or even for your futuredreams, your future self. Today I'm
(00:23):
talking with Jason Winters, anenergy alignment coach, about the
warning signs that yourbusiness is working against your
body instead of with it, andwhy this even matters. If you've
been pushing through flare upsover delivering or feeling like you
have to choose between yourhealth and your income, this episode
(00:45):
will show you there's otherways. There's another way so that
you don't lead yourself toburnout. Jason personally shares
his experience of rapidbusiness growth, growth that nearly
broke him, and the exactframework he used to rebuild around
his values and capacity. We'llcover why entrepreneurs with chronic
(01:06):
illness are particularlyvulnerable to building businesses
that drain their energy, andhow to spot fear based decisions
before they lead you toburnout and practical steps for creating
a business that actuallysupports your well being. By the
end of this conversation,you'll have the clear framework for
recognizing misalignment earlyand the tools to build something
(01:30):
sustainable that honors bothyour ambition and your life in reality
today, whether that's withchronic illness or even if you're
healing from burnout. Now.This is one of my first episodes
with a male on the show. Jasonhas been one of my personal energy
alignment coaches. He has beena huge part of of my business and
(01:50):
my life and my growth as acoach. So I'm so excited to have
him here. I'm so excited thatyou're here to hear from him. He
creates such a safe space ofconversation and understanding and
acknowledgement and I just amso appreciative for Jason to come
onto the show. Being one ofthe first men, I'm very, very particular
about this space, you guys, soI'm glad you get to enjoy a part
(02:12):
of what has helped me tobecome the coach and has helped me
to help clients as well aswhat will help you in your journey
to grow your business. So stay tuned.
Most of us who are listeningto this podcast understand the neural
pathways on some level. Like,we may not know all the details and
we're not scientists, but weunderstand how those brain pathways
(02:35):
work. But it's the actualretraining that is the work, that
it's not easy, right? That'swhy those of us who are coaches and
those of us who are doing thiswork are still doing the work.
Foreign welcome to BusinessWith Chronic Illness, the globally
ranked podcast for womenliving with chronic illness who want
(02:57):
to start and grow a businessonline. I'm your host, Nikita Williams
and I went from living anormal life to all of a sudden being
in constant pain with noanswers to being diagnosed with multiple
chronic illnesses and tryingto make a livable income. I faced
the challenge of adaptingtraditional business advice to fit
my unique circumstances withchronic illness. Feeling frustrated
(03:18):
and more burned out than Ialready was while managing my chronic
illness to becoming an awardwinning coach with a flexible, sustainable
online coaching business, Ifound the surprisingly simple steps
to starting and growing aprofitable business without compromising
my health or my peace. Sincethen, I've helped dozens of women
just like you learn how to dothe same. If you're ready to create
(03:41):
a thriving business thataligns with your lifestyle and well
being, you're in the rightplace. Together, we're shifting the
narrative of what's possiblefor women with chronic illness and
how we make a living. This isbusiness with chronic illness. It's
(04:05):
been a long time coming for meto have this guest on the show because
it's been me. It's not been,it's not been our guest. Okay. Because
Jason has been like, hey, ifyou want me to come on, I'm like,
jason, I ain't going no man onthe show. I ain't got no men on this
show. Okay. But you've been apart of my journey for a long time
(04:28):
and you have helped me somuch. And just the journey of like
overcoming some of the stuffwe're going to talk about today,
like fears and doubts andbeing okay with shifting and changing
and what does that look like?But before we get all into that,
please tell us like, how youwould describe yourself.
(04:48):
I would say in my bio, I am anenergy alignment coach. Just simply
put. But I don't know, I don'tknow. Nikita EFT tapping practitioner
it just really depends on whatpeople are wanting or what they're
needing. But I think thatenergy alignment fits because that's
really what we're doing, iswe're just aligning our own personal
(05:10):
energy, whether it's for ourbusiness or for our health or for
our life or whatever it is.It's just figuring out how to put
those pieces together. So I, Iwould go with that for sure.
Yeah. And you are. Yeah, thatis the thing we, you do. You really
do. And it's, it's sofascinating, Jason, how you came
(05:31):
to this, like, how did youcome to this lane? Like, it's not
something that we allnaturally think about, you know,
we're all in a hurry to thinkabout the tangible things we need
to do, how many posts we needto have, how many platforms we need
to be on. Like, am I producingenough this or that? How did you
land on. Yeah, I need to workon my energy.
(05:52):
Yeah, exactly. And I love thatyou said that because honestly, Nikita,
just like last week, I was ina hurry. So it's not like you get
to a place where you're justlike, I got it all figured out. And
I think that's what. Even ifpeople don't intend to have us believe
that it's what we make it tomean when we see people on social
(06:12):
media or when we see people. Ithink it was like last year I even
sent you a DM and I was like,nikita, how are you? Like, what's
going on? Like, how are youposting so consistently and doing
all the things? And it's justlike where you have your life aligned.
Like, things work for you inthat way. And so that's why it's
really important. Because forme, that's more of a, like, it became
(06:35):
a struggle. So it's like,Jason, why are you struggling in
that area? Like, if that's notyour thing, you don't have to do
that particular thing. And soit was a place of serving me. Like,
this is what I needed becauseI didn't want burnout. I didn't.
I know that I am likeextremely highly sensitive when it
(06:56):
comes to like energy and otherpeople's energy and my own stuff.
And so I needed this businessto serve me. I needed my life to
be able to serve me. So itwasn't just in business, but it was
also life. Like, I know that Isay all the time your life informs
your business, but I saw howthat happened. So even outside of
business where we're nottalking about the people pleasing
(07:18):
and trying to do all thingsfor all people, it just doesn't work.
And so those things are notseparate. Our business doesn't live
in a vacuum where we're ableto just say, oh, this is how I run
my business and this is how Irun my life. Like, there's so much
bleed over. And so we have tolike really check that and come to
a place we realize that I amthe product. Right, you are the product.
(07:40):
So if you're not complete andwhole, then things are not going
to work well in your business.
You know, this is, this is abig topic in itself, right? This
idea that, you know, I saythis all the Time everybody know
when you listen to business ispersonal. Like I like there's a level
of personalness that comesinto your business because you are,
(08:04):
you are part of the business.Like you said, you're not in a vacuum.
Separate. And something youmentioned, which is like the energetics
or the alignment of where whatyou. What's going on in your life
and how it shows up in yourbusiness. How have you found that
to be true for you in thesense of either amplifying or I don't
(08:28):
want to say, like downplayingor limiting your growth when you
didn't operate in thatreality? That makes sense.
I love this because it's allright. So I want to say this first
of all, is that it's not. It'salmost never what we think it is.
So when I'm working withclients and they say things like,
(08:50):
I already worked through that,or I had years of therapy with that,
they thought it was that andnow they think it's no longer that
because they work through it.So it's literally always a much deeper
place, like where it comesfrom. And in this work, rather recently
(09:11):
I've learned the importance ofwhen you're doing this deeper work,
it does not mean to like, geta bigger shovel and start digging
deeper. It really comes from aplace of being more and more curious.
And that curiosity is going tolead you to a place where your body
will literally feel safeenough to explore and to see those
(09:34):
things. Because I'm justthinking right now, many of us grew
up feeling like a misfit.Whether it were true or not, it was
true for us. So you feel likea misfit. And so most people in school
or whoever you grew up aroundprobably felt that same way. So if
everyone's feeling like amisfit, are we really a misfit or
is this a normal thing thateverybody's going through? Right.
(09:57):
And so you, you get curiousabout what's going on. And for me,
there was a lot, likeemotional eating, emotional spending,
binging on things, whetherit's social media, doom scrolling
and so forth. A lot of thefocus for me was on those things,
like, oh, how do I stop this?Or how do I stop that? But genuinely,
(10:20):
it's the, it's the deeperthing. So I'll give you this quick
story. When I was 10, mygrandfather murdered my grandmother
with a gun. And then hemurdered my great grandmother, his
mom, and then. Wait a minute.Suicide, Right? Okay, I know.
Okay, okay.
(10:41):
So that happened. And I was 10years old. Now, because I've Done
so much work around thisperiod of my life. A lot of the trauma
that I had came from thisexperience, but it was before that
that it happened. What thisexperience did was it kind of really
sealed in some things andintensified trauma that was kind
(11:04):
of already there. So one, oneaspect of this. And we had so many
people at the house, likefriends, people were coming to pray
with us, like, and this was in93. I just got baptized and it was
just like my life, like lessthan a month ago. And so my life
was just like turning upsidedown. This is my grandmother, who
(11:26):
I was very close to her. Iwasn't super close to my grandfather
or my great grandmother. I wasvery close to my grandmother. So
a lot of grief and all ofthat. But the one thing, the one
thing that really stood out ina session like a few weeks ago was
that I made this time periodbecause what my family was trying
to do was protect me because Iwas so young. So the news, they were
(11:48):
like at the house. That wasback when you had the big camcorders
and stuff. It wasn't likesocial media, it wasn't even out
at that time. So we didn'topen the door for them, but they
were like knocking on thedoor. And I'm a curious 10 year old.
I'm like, oh, why are they atthe door? Like, we're not letting
them in. And then the story, Iknew that they died, but I didn't
really know the details. And Iwanted to know, like, that's a pivotal
(12:11):
age. Right. So aside from thegrief, aside from all of that, the
one aspect that really hit mewas the fact that I, and I kind of
recently learned this piece,is that I made this mean that I,
I wasn't valuable enough tohave that conversation with. What
my family was trying to do isprotect me from knowing too much
(12:33):
and being traumatized, I guess.
Yeah.
But I made this to mean that,wow, like, nobody cared enough to
tell me to sit and communicatethat with me. Right. And so then
that's where your value andit's. This is not about like pity
or, oh, poor, you know, poorthis kid or whatever. Yeah, it is
a very sad story. But when weare trying to show up in our business
(12:57):
and we're feeling like I don'tpersonally have a fear of being seen
as much of a fear of beingtruly known.
Truly.
And so the difference is like,oh, yeah, I'll show up on social
media. I don't mind being onvideo because that's just kind of
been who I am. But Truly knownis not because I'm used to being
(13:18):
in front of people, so beingseen. Right. And it's really the
same thing. Right. Because I'mshowing you with a mask who I want
you to see.
Yeah.
But when you're able to takethat off, if you're able to get to
that point, then you get toshow up in your business as who you
really are. It's a lot easier.So that's just one little aspect
(13:39):
of doing this energy work. NowI've just seen this. It doesn't mean
that now I'm just like, oh,I'm healed. And now I'm able to just
show up as who. Who I want tobe 100% and to be truly known. It's
just that, oh, now I get to bea little more curious about that
side or that aspect of thetrauma that happened.
(14:00):
I mean, there's so much there.That's some deep stuff. 1. Okay,
I also think. I think you saidit so perfectly at the beginning
of sharing this. What youthink it might be is not often what
it actually is. And also thefact that you think you've healed
(14:21):
something and you haven'treally, like, you know, I have personally
experienced that myself, whereI'm like, I thought I was worked
through that. I thought I wentthrough that. And you in a whole
different environment.Environment, space, time of your
life. And it's like, no, youdidn't. No, you didn't. And I think
this is a question I oftenhear from my clients, which is like,
(14:42):
Nikita. And I'm sure you hearthis, too, is like, well, if that's
the case, to your point, like,now I'm aware of this. Now I know
that this contributes to mybeing authentically who I'm really
wanting to be. If I'm alwaysuncovering, always learning all of
these things, how can Iactually be present and have that
(15:07):
quote, unquote, work for mybusiness? Because in my opinion,
personally, it's justsomething that you. You move through,
you work with, instead of itbeing like, the thing that just stops
you. Because having identitycrisis is never helpful in. In a
business. It feels like itdoesn't feel helpful. Like, wait
a minute. Wait. That's not whoI am. Wait, you just want to shut
(15:28):
down the business? You know,those are the kind of things that
leaves you kind of feelingstuck. So if a person's listening
to this and they're like,okay, Jason, you just shared that
huge story, but also, you'removing through this. You're still
running a business. You'restill being curious. How do you actually
do both versus just free spawn?
Yeah. So one of the things.And it's not just one thing, and
(15:52):
that's what I'm saying. One ofis it's the judgment that we put
on it. And when you are goingthrough something and you're sharing
it with a friend, or you maybe sharing something with your husband,
or I'm sharing something withmy wife, or she's sharing with me,
the one thing that's reallyvaluable in not conversation or that
(16:16):
interaction is just to. Wasfor someone to listen to you, to
hear you, to acknowledge you,and just kind of be with you. Right.
Just. Just a friend or youhave someone in that relationship.
It's really, really good.Nikita. It is very, very challenging
for most people to just dothat for themselves.
(16:38):
Yep.
Right. And so hard. What we donot like or appreciate is when someone's
like, okay, yeah, thathappened too, you know, and they're,
like, telling their story, sothey make it about them, or they
invalidate your feelings,like, you'll be all right, but you
always work through it, youknow, so it's somehow they're, like,
pushing us aside and notreally listening or hearing you.
(17:01):
We can feel that, and itdoesn't feel good. And it makes us,
like, kind of wrap up thatconversation. Or, you know, some
people respond differently.Like, they may just tell the person,
like, I don't appreciate that.But for me, I'm just like, okay,
I'm done. I'm gonna wrap upthis conversation. Because they're
not available. And just whereI am, I understand that they're not
available, but everybodydoesn't, like, see that or understand
(17:21):
that. I think that part ofthis awareness, Nikita, is understanding
that about ourselves, thejudgment that we put on these things
and on our business, it's likea heavy judgment, like, I should
be doing this. I should behere. I've been doing this for five
years, and I'm still notmaking X amount of dollars. There's
(17:44):
a lot of judgment. And so toyour question about doing all the
work, that's the part wherewe're shifting slightly to you being.
I don't. I don't want to saycomfortable with uncomfortable, because
that's, like, overdone. Andit's not really what I mean, but
it's more of. There's a levelof patience and understanding, and
(18:08):
there's a. There's a. Yourvalues that are. That are under attack,
if I can say that. So when Ispeak to coaches, majority of them,
like, you know, I want to bein alignment. And I want, you know,
I want to be in a space wheremy family is valued first. Like,
they have these values, andthen their identity is connected
(18:31):
to so many things that are notgrounded in their values, like how
much money they make or howmany clients they're having or how
quickly their business isgrowing. And so for me, it is very
important that this inner workbe the. It's not comfortable. Like,
I'm going through some thingsright now in my business because
(18:53):
it's just different levels. Soif you think that this is the. Like,
once I get past this point,then I like the. Then I. When I.
Then I. Thinking it's verydisrespectful to the body. Like,
it's disrespectful to you.
And.
And so grounding in yourvalues. I think it's important. And
if you have. If you have that,it's very, very helpful because it's
(19:16):
not like working over and overagain. Then I have one other thing,
but I want to give you achance to respond if that's helpful.
No, go ahead, because I have acouple of questions. Okay, so go
with your next one.
The other thing that may bereally helpful for listeners, like,
really, really helpful is tobe very clear. And I wish I written
(19:38):
these questions down, but itcould be something like, give me
an example of one thing thatyou're. That, like, your clients
may say or like a real issue.So your question was, like, all these
things that all the work andall the things. Give me an example
of something that somebodylike a limiting belief or some fear
(19:58):
or something that is real thatthat comes up for your clients.
If I change my mind, I'm doingsomething wrong. If I started doing
something and now I'm changingmy mind how I want to do it, then
that means when I'm startingover and I did something wrong or
I failed, that's a. Yeah,okay, good.
(20:20):
So let's go with one. Sothere's actually a few things in
there. And this is really goodbecause we get to see how our brains
just run ahead. Like, that'sthe anxiety where we're just running
ahead or catastrophizing orwhat have you. So let's just stick
with one thing. For instance,if I change my mind, then that means
(20:41):
that all of what I did was afailure. Okay? So recognizing that
thought, or you could call ita belief. So the first thing is we
want to just acknowledge thatin the moment. So this isn't like,
I mean, to me, this is deepwork, but this isn't like, you know,
(21:03):
eft tapping or breath work oranything. This is, like, right now.
Like, I'm gonna take a pause,and I'm gonna take that. If I change
my mind, then that means thatall of what I did, like that was
worthless. I failed. Right? Sowe're gonna use the other part of
our brain to say, well,Nikita, what is the truth? Right?
(21:27):
So for your client, what. Whatcould a truth be?
That's. It depends on who itis. But it's like a truth is. Like,
that statement isn'tnecessarily true, but more or less,
everybody changes their mind.Like, that's. Yeah, that's normal.
Yeah. Well, I love the. The. Ilove that, like, everybody gets to
(21:48):
change their mind, right? AndI get to change my mind. Like, the
truth is I get to change mymind. That is the truth, right? If
that's true for you, thenthat's true for you. And we're not
looking to make up something,but we want something that is going
to be, like, true for you. Soone that comes to my mind is, what
is it? If I change my mind, Ifail. Oh, you know what? I learned
(22:10):
so much from this experience.Okay? So it does not. You're not
denying the fact that you feeldisappointed or you feel whatever
the feeling is or the emotionbehind that. When I think this, I
feel this. But the truth is, Iactually learned so much from that
(22:34):
experience. The truth is, Irealized after a few months that.
Or after a couple years, thatmy heart really isn't in it anymore
as it was when I started. Thetruth is, I get to change my mind.
And so that is. I know itsounds like simple, but that is like,
(22:55):
not giving your brain theopportunity to understand, and you're
separate. So that's how we'reuntangling this massive braid of
confusion and judgment and allthese things, because we're not dismissing
the thought, we're notdismissing the feeling. We're just
bringing in the truth. Andthat's the part that we. We kind
(23:18):
of use as a throwaway, and wesay things like, well, I know. I
know that I learned a lot,but. No, no, we want. Just like you
had that thought stand out. Ifeel like a failure, full stop. Right?
I feel disappointed in myself,full stop. The truth is. Full stop.
So we need the brain to getall of those pieces. And that. That's
(23:40):
really, really helpful.
How is that helpful, Jason?Because to your point, I think when
I was doing some moreresearch, when I was in the eft,
the thing that I remember, andI still remember, I learned this
in aromatherapy. I learnedthis in coaching, that our brain
naturally just takes thenegative outweighs any positive.
(24:02):
It's. I mean, even inpsychology, things that I've learned
and read, like, we willcompletely disassociate from the
truth. Like, we will. I'llgive you an example. People who are
like, that doesn't happen. Myhusband recently, he had given a
talk and like a public talkout in front of people, and someone
had said to him, that wasreally good. Like, I really enjoyed
(24:23):
the part. And so later on,later on I was telling him, hey,
yeah, that was really good.Even. So and so said, that was good.
And he's like, nobody saidthat to me. And I was like, I was
standing right next to youwhen this person, like a whole, like,
wasn't just like a blip. Itwas a whole conversation of how much
they enjoyed yourconversation, your talk. And he's
(24:44):
like, I don't even rememberthat. And that's literally our brain
just throwing away. It's likeanother illustration of you saying,
like, yeah, you believe allthese negative things or negative
or not, maybe they are how youfeel, they are how you perceive right
now, but there's also a truththat you're missing, which was, for
example, with my husband, youdid a great job, and you've just
(25:04):
dismissed that. And so to yourpoint, when we're doing this work
on ourselves, it is so easyfor us to just be like, I am horrible.
I failed. I this, I that, andnot sit with the other aspect of
that of. I also learned a lot.So how does someone start that practice
of engaging with that truth asmuch as we engage with those negative
(25:28):
or not even negative? I don'teven like calling them negative because
they're just feelings andtheir thoughts and that's what they
are, Right?
Absolutely. So you said it.Basically, that's. That's what we
do, is we recognize like, thatthe brain is looking for the familiarity,
which, honestly, it is. It isnegative in a sense that it's looking
(25:49):
to keep you safe. So it'slooking for danger. Is looking for
danger. So in the example ofyour husband, I can really relate
to that. A part of it could bethat he ignored what the people said.
Another part is what helps usto remain safe is confirming what
we can expect. So we knowconfirmation bias, right? If I am
(26:13):
biased in a certain direction,then everything's going to confirm
that for me. Even if it's notconfirmed really happening that way,
I'm gonna be like, oh, yeah,see, nobody liked it, right? Because
we need we need that, but thatstarts from us. And so we're. If
you have someone walking in acircle and everybody's walking in
that same circle, it's goingto be like a well worn path, right?
(26:39):
And we know this. We alreadyknow this, right? Most of us who
are listening to this podcastunderstand the neural pathways on
some level. Like, we may notknow all the details, and we're not
scientists, but we understandhow those brain pathways work. But
it's the actual retrainingthat is the work, that it's not easy.
(27:02):
Right. That's why those of uswho are coaches and those of us who
are doing this work are stilldoing the work. If we never get the
flag at the top of the hill,like, we're still going through this
jungle, but we're creating apath where you think of, okay, we've
been going in the same circle,now we're actually going through
the jungle. So I'm going toneed some scissors to start snipping
(27:23):
some things away. Like, youcan't just go in with a lawnmower
into the jungle. It justdoesn't work that way. Like, you're
going to need different toolsand patience. And if you are valuable
enough or if you don't feellike you're valuable enough, that's
fine, too. It is yourresponsibility to do this work for
(27:45):
yourself now. It is your loadto carry. No one else can do this
for you, right? No one elsecan. It is your responsibility and
you are going to lean into.Why am I doing this? For me first,
a lot of us are like, well, Ilove people and I want to help people,
but if you're in thisparticular struggle, then your personal
(28:08):
value and your deserve levelhas to be raised. And so that's why
I feel like this truth workwith tapping or breathwork or aromatherapy
or whatever you'rerecommending is very important because
you need to see the truth andknow that it's the truth so that
you have something to kind ofbend back to. Like, think this, I
(28:32):
feel this, but I know this,right? You're. You're having that
and the brain is going to workit. Like, it can't not work.
Yeah, it is really interestingwhen I think about this because we,
we started this off with, howdoes this affect our businesses?
How does this affect how we'reshowing up? And there are. I'm gonna
(28:55):
play a little bit of devil'sadvocate here. There are a lot of
people specifically anddepending on, like, where they are,
but a lot of people feel like,oh, this is Just woo, woo, woo. Like,
this is just. Woo. Like, thisis just, you know, we just need to
hustle through this. We justneed to do the. If your business
isn't working is. Isn'tbecause your energetics aren't aligned.
(29:16):
Like, you know, there's all ofthese things. Like, there's other
reasons why your businessisn't working.
Yeah.
For a person who is not soldor not in the space of believing
that the energetics are a partof this or that they're even important
to this conversation aboutbusiness, life, whatever. Right.
Yeah.
What would you tell thisperson right now?
(29:38):
I would. And this is not.Like, this is with the most love.
If what you're doing isworking, then continue that. Like,
continue that. If you arecomfortable with pushing through
your flare ups and ignoringyour body and doing the hustle. I
(30:01):
don't really think that Nikitaspace is really, like, I don't really
think. But you cannot put,like, you cannot build a strategy
on top of a weak foundation.And I think that we as humans, like,
we gotta respect the body, thebrain, the person. And if you're
(30:23):
not down for that, then Iwould say continue doing what you're
doing if that's working foryou. Like, I don't mean like, no.
Like, at a point you will getthere where you're just like, I can't
anymore, and then come backand we'll have a conversation. But
I would not. I would. Here'swhy I would not convince people,
because they need to be ableto trust themselves. And when we
(30:48):
get in the business ofconvincing, then they don't trust
themselves. And sometimes ittakes a little bit of a different
journey for them to see, like,okay, maybe this doesn't work, but
that's what I would say. It'sjust like, really? That's one thing.
But if you're kind of curiousabout it and you genuinely, like,
you're not against it, butyou're just, like, really not seeing
(31:10):
it, then I would just sayexplore your own feelings and emotions
and the reason why you'redoing what you're doing. And are
you, you know, ask yourselfthe question of, like, why am I doing
this? Who am I doing this for?Like, how are you valuing yourself?
And we know that, like, areyou taking care of your health? Are
(31:30):
you taking care of your mind?Are you taking care of your body?
Are you, Are yourrelationships okay? Are you finding
yourself arguing all the time?Is your business the center of something?
Something that's not all clearand good? You know, it's like you're
going to know. You're going toknow if you're in alignment. You're
going to know if you haveharmony. You will know if you're
(31:53):
willing to check in, if youare ignoring these things. And there's
this fear that comes up that,oh, I don't. I can't slow down. Like,
I have to, you know, I gotta.I gotta keep it moving. Then that's.
That's your sign. Like, that'scommunicating to you that there's
something else that you wanna consider.
(32:15):
Love that answer, Jason. Thatwas perfect. And it's true. It's
like, you know, I'll tell thisstory too, where, you know, at one
point when I was working withyou, Jason, there was this aspect
of me, like, hey, I want to,like, really lean into doing the
podcast. I want it to be thefull thing. And I remember being
so excited, and I remember,like, y', all, this is. This might
(32:38):
be it. Nikita is all in it.And there was something. I had received
coaching, and this is. This isnot to fault the coach.
Right.
Okay, y', all, like. And itwasn't Jason who was the coach who
said this, but it was anothercoach who said something to me that
just played into the fears Ihad and the doubts I had that put
(33:00):
that, like, in the corner.Right? Until one day I was like,
what? To your point? Iconvinced myself that's crazy. That
is crazy that I just put thatover here and did not want to lean
into this space because it'sdifferent, because it's changing,
but it's like, it's really notdifferent. It's really not that crazy.
(33:22):
Right. But I had to convincemyself, did I go a long way around
the corner to figure that out?Absolutely. But nobody else could
have told me that. Nobodyelse. Right. Like, Jason was probably
the one who told me, Nikita, Idon't know about that, but if this
is where you feel like youwant to put it down, go ahead. Like,
(33:44):
what are you gonna do?
Yeah.
And I think it's important toremember in our own journey, sometimes
we will take the long. Thelong route. Like, the long. The long
way, the hard knock way. Idon't even know if it's the hard
knock way, because you learneda lot along that way, but it is your
own knowing, your own intointuition, and then your own other
(34:06):
things that you bring intothat space that you realize, okay,
I've been convinced that thisis the lane. So when we talk about
clearing fear, doubt, andresistance, because those are honestly
the three things that stop usfrom pursuing some of the Things
that are in alignment. How dowe do that?
So similar to what we justtalked about, we do need to understand
(34:31):
what it is like, on a morespecific level. We can generally
work on fear, like withtapping, we can generally allow our
body to process these generalemotions. But I think that being
that we're the product, right.We need to understand on some level
(34:52):
where this stuff started from.Like, who informed me? And the reason
is because trauma is the thingthat holds us back in our business.
So it causes this fearresponse. So we're doubting ourselves,
we're having fear, and thenwe're resisting because it's not
safe to move in thosedirections. So it's literally you're
(35:15):
pushing away. Whether it'sphysically pushing or just like energetically,
you're still doing the samething. It's like, no, like, I cannot
be in that space. And when wehave trauma from a young age, we
all have enters the bodythrough the senses. And so there's
an experience that wephysically have that keeps us from
(35:40):
doing things in our businessthat causes that fear response. And
so I want to be very clearthat we're not having to do all of
this work before we getstarted or continue in our business,
because that is an importantpiece that I want to emphasize. I'm
not going to say what otherpeople are doing, but I really want
(36:02):
to emphasize that when we'rebuilding our business, it's very
important that we are parallelwhen it comes to this mindset, energy,
emotional work alongside thestrategy, the actual building of
the business, the movingforward in your business. Because
there's. There are things thatare more triggered, more or less,
(36:25):
depending on who. But I'm. I'musing this term loosely. There's
nothing more triggering thanbuilding a business. As an entrepreneur,
highly sensitive people whoare dealing with chronic issues like
how triggering, triggering isthat, like, I'm sick all the time,
how am I going to find time todo a business? And I'm. I can't even
get out of bed right. So howtriggering is doing this going to
(36:48):
be? So you really don't wantto be in this space of just constantly
doing energy work. And inthis, like, there is the duality
that's very important whereyou do, you're building your business
and you're doing. So as thingscome up for you, as you're building
your business and things comeup for you, you're able to then use
(37:12):
your tools in the work to move forward.
Yeah. And to your point, Ithink it's so true, Jason, because
it's like we have, you can'tjust do like the mind needs also
like other evidence. Like ifyou are, if you are believing that
this, you're like, I'm goingto start a business. And you're triggered
(37:34):
by this fear of like, oh, I'mgonna be in a flare up, I'm gonna
be all these things. It'sgonna, it's gonna do all of these
things to me. And so if you'reoperating in that mind, in that fear
and you're not also takinglike the baby tangible strategy steps,
your brain will have noevidence to prove that that's wrong.
Like, you have to be likedoing something to kind of counteract
(37:57):
your fears in the same space.Does that mean that you won't have
a flare up because you'removing? No, but you will open an
opportunity to be aware of whythat might have happened, what may
have triggered that. Is itjust the one thing you thought that
did it? For me personally, thethings I've learned about running
(38:18):
a business with chronicillness has taught me so much about
like what other thingsactually trigger me that has made
running a business harder, hasnine times out of ten has nothing
to do with the business. Ithas more to do with what I'm doing,
my personal life, myrelationships, like everything else.
Like, and it just happens tobe that when I got to go to work,
(38:39):
it might be triggered in that,like it comes more. It manifests
itself in a different way inthat space. But nine times out of
10, my brain is very much moreaware of like, oh, no, no, no. You
had that text message thatcame in from so and so and you ignored
it. And you're like, I'm fine,but you're not fine. You are not
fine. Like, like these things.And so I think to your point is we
(39:02):
can't take out the mindsetwork or the energy work and keep
them over here and just workthrough them. You have to be in motion
to receive that which makessense because energy is in motion.
Yeah, right. And I think thistalks to the same point of two, like,
(39:23):
you know, some clients havesaid to me, well, energy won't make
me money. Like, energy won'taffect how like the strategy is going
to work. And I have thoughtson, I have many things I say about
that. But how is moneyattached to some of these feelings
of fear, doubt and resistancewhen we bringing this into our business?
(39:44):
Like, why is that also anamplifier of why you might not think
or you might think it's justthe fear of being visible that's
getting in the way. But italso could be the money that you
might be thinking is going tobe coming your way or not coming
your way.
Yeah, I, I understand wherepeople are coming from and, and that
(40:04):
it makes so much sense. Itreally does. Like, if you. You don't
just think and then moneycomes. Right. That's not how it works.
But I, I often tell thiswhenever I'm explaining to people
the difference between yourenergy around making money. Okay.
So most of us worked a job andwe earned money, and then we become
(40:33):
entrepreneurs, and it's awhole different energy of receiving
money. So it's a wholedifferent energy because this is.
I work this many hours, I'mgoing to get this many dollars. This
is. When am I going to get myfirst client to. Are they going to
continue with me? Right. It'smore of your value, your personal
(40:53):
value. You're receiving.You're not really earning. Okay.
So to prove how differentlyyou function around these energies,
when you are in earning energyand you work, you will find people
(41:14):
who will spend their paycheck.Two weeks, they haven't even gotten
it yet, but they've either putthe money here or they're like, they
already know what they'regonna buy. You know, I'm gonna get
my hair done, I'm gonna get mynails done. I'm gonna, you know,
buy this wallet or whatever itis, all these things that I'm already
(41:34):
allocating this money for. Andso when people get their check, it's
kind of gone for that reasonbecause they've been in this a lot
more trusting in this moneybecause they believe in this company.
It's been proven that themoney is gonna come. Right. But when
you have to believe inyourself, oh, fear, doubt. Right.
(41:57):
It's like, it's a lot lesscertain. Yeah, right. There's this
doubt, this uncertainty whenit comes to your business. And so
I think that that is energy.It's how you move, how you function.
Whereas if someone says, youknow what, I'm going to pay you,
if you run this business,like, you would just move differently.
(42:18):
Right? You're going to movedifferently. And so we, again, it
is looking at, okay, so whatis energy around my value? Because
that's what you're getting isyour value that you believe in yourself,
not what other. How otherpeople value you. And so that's another
misconception. People like,oh, you have to provide value. Value,
value. Yeah.
But who.
(42:39):
Who sees the value first isyou. Like, you are the product, like
you are the person. You arethe value. And so as you raise your
value for yourself and yourdeserve level and so forth, that's
going to naturally and thatis. I'm not going to say that that's
easy to believe in, Nikita.Like, I don't have a. It's not woo
(43:01):
woo at all. I'm not, I'm notabout that life. But it is true.
True, right?
It is true. True. I love it.Oh, yeah, Yeah. I think, yeah, I
think it's that intersection.And I think as entrepreneurs, this
is the hardest thing,especially if you are a sensitive
(43:24):
empath, highly like connectingwith people. You're. You're very
much driven by how you give orperceive how you're giving. Like
all of those feely things thatwe have and run a business. I like.
Right before this call, Jason,I was talking with another friend
who's very similar in the sameaspect of things, of that feeling
(43:46):
of like when you shift andgrow and move while you've been building
something. You've beenbuilding. Right. It is a challenge
to figure out how to likeevolve, like evolve into this new
thing. And it's a challengemostly because of fear, doubt and
(44:10):
resistance. Right. It's likethe fear of, like, I built this thing
and I'm worried that now thatI built this theme that I don't know
if this is going to work. If Ichange it to this thing. I'm experiencing
this myself personally withthe podcast. Like, if I change the
podcast, if I change my focus,how is this going to feel? This is
very different from what itwas before. Oh my gosh. Like, there's
all these things and for me,the. One of the most grounding things
(44:34):
has been helpful is, like yousaid, acknowledging the truth. Acknowledging
to me what's helpful isacknowledging the lies. Because I
will bring up some lies allday long about something until it's
presented to me in my brain.Either someone's told me that this
is a lie, I see evidence thatit's a lie, or I am being curious,
(44:56):
more than judgmental, toacknowledge, okay, the thing that
you're feeling and believingis a lie. Like, that's not true.
So what is some steps for youpersonally in your own journey when
it comes to clearing fear,doubt and resistance that has helped
you move while you're growinga business and while you're supporting
(45:18):
your clients? That's been apractice that's been helpful or more,
it could be multiple. Butlike, what has helped you live in
integrity of doing the workthat we're talking about right now.
So one of the things Nikita isI started to grow rather quickly
at the end of 2024 and I wasvery excited. But I quickly realized
(45:42):
that I needed to slow thingsdown because there was some misalignment.
And so the reason I am soadamant about this is because if
you build your business out ofalignment, then it's going to grow
and you're going to not loveit. It's going to take something
(46:03):
that you absolutely love andyou're just, it's going to be a headache.
And so you want to make surethat it can serve you. I don't have
chronic illness, but I do haveconstant things that I contend with.
Right. I have a young kid, Ihave family, I have other stuff.
And so I want to make surethat this business serves me as much
as I serve it. And so anytimeI am looking at why I'm making a
(46:27):
decision, I'm looking at myvalues. And because I'm a believer,
I have a much higher sourcethat I can tap into. And so I absolutely
do that. But in addition tothat, I'm checking into what, what
informed these beliefs andwhat happened that kind of informed
these beliefs and what I madethings to mean. So that's sort of
(46:49):
like that truth. I'm trying tothink of an example of something
recently that, that came up.So like, let's just say growth, business
growth in general. That's oneof the things like I feel like the
phases are you're, you'rebuilding, you're growing or you're
scaling. And a lot of peoplelistening to this is probably in
the building and the growingphase. So you're building something
or you're trying to grow thething that you built. Okay. And so
(47:13):
for me it was scaling. I waslike, oh no, I can't, I can't scale
this. So I had to kind of goback into the building part to restructure
some things and then grow thatso that now I can scale it the right
way. So you realize sometimeswhen you get into the scaling phase
of like, oh, I didn't buildthis the best way because if I scale
this, it's going to be aburden on me. I'm going to be overwhelmed,
(47:35):
I'm going to be stressed. Andso that part, I hope this is answering
your question, that part linksto the fear because the reason I
built it to, I don't want tosay the wrong way, but I built it
in a way that wasn'tsustainable to scale is because I
made fear based decisions inthe building phase. So it's not going
to scale according To. Right.I didn't consider, like, oh, I'm
(47:59):
doing all of this overdelivering, but I can't scale over
delivering because it's notreally. I'm sorry, y'. All.
I feel. I feel personallyattacked, though. I'm not. I'm just
saying. I'm just saying. Yes.
And so that goes to personalstuff. Like, I mean, I'm just being
(48:22):
honest. Like, it's not thestuff that, you know, black men are
sitting around talking aboutis their value and their worth. Like,
it took a nose dive. It didn'ttake a nose dive. I didn't see it.
I didn't see how low of selfworth there was. And so that makes
you do things in your businessto get value, but it's fleeting.
(48:44):
It's very temporary. It wasfor me. I'll speak for myself. It
was very temporary. It's like,whether it's praise or more clients,
it's like, you really reducethat to get a client. Like, but now
you're. You're misalignedbecause they didn't pay, you know,
the value that they reallygot. Because you don't value yourself.
That's the only reason you'regonna, like, lower your. Not the
(49:06):
only reason, but lower it tothe point where you're devaluing
yourself. So I would say thatit's important to just get to those.
Some of those emotional roots.And that does require working with
somebody like you or myself,like somebody who can help you to
see these blind spots. Right.It's just important emotional side
(49:27):
of things. For. For yourdoubt. Like, fear is something that
we are absolutely born with.Right? We have it. Fear in a lot
of different ways.
We need fear. We need thatstress. Yes.
Yes.
We need. We need that. Yeah.
Doubt. We were not born withthat. That's why kids are ready to
touch the hot stove, becauseit's instilled. So when we're doubting
(49:49):
ourselves, it's alwayssomething that someone told us, like,
don't touch that or becareful, or don't get too, you know,
don't get too big for yourbritches or whatever these statements
are. All of these things.Like, money doesn't grow on trees,
so that creates scarcity. Allthis stuff, the doubt that we have,
it always can be traced backto someone or something that you
(50:12):
received through your senses.Something you saw, some trauma told
you to doubt this thing. Andit's not always bad, right? Sometimes
it's good to kind of doubtthings. Like, I don't know, I'll
wait and see. You know, it'sGood. But a lot of times it's not
just wait and see. It's like,I am not good enough. Right. So the
(50:32):
trauma senses, I saw it, Itouched it, I, you know, smelled
it or something that informedthat this is not safe for me. And
so that's what I've beendoing. Nikita is just looking like,
where am I not moving forwardif I'm like, in honoring myself?
If I'm tired, I'm going torest. Do you know that rest actually
(50:54):
builds trust in you and your business?
Jason, when I tell you thisyear has been a lesson in what true
rest means, it's different.The thing I. I saw this thing on
Tick Tock. I'm. I'm a new TickTocker. And I was like, you know,
that is so true. I used tothink that rest meant I planned out
(51:16):
my day where I was going torest and I was gonna do all of these
rusty things. And I realizedthat was just another mirage of me
doing stuff versus me doing,like, actually resting. Right. And
I'm learning even withinmyself that I have to do my rest.
(51:37):
I have to do what that mightand is supposed to look like. And
I judge it. I'm not curiousabout it. If I sit in the bed, I'm
sitting there thinking I got alot of stuff to do that is more productive
in my rest. Like, what sickdoes that make that's not restful?
Like, come on now. Like, so,like, I'm learning even in that connotation,
(51:59):
because all of that has beenconditioning that all of that has
come from, even traumaexperiences from what I see with
my parent, like, all of thesethings. And so you. You really have
to become, like, this curiousbeing of what do these words and
things that we're doingactually mean? And what. What are
(52:20):
we doing? Like, what are wedoing? What are we not doing? And
giving ourselves permission tofigure that out versus rushing it
versus beating ourselves up.And I think the challenge, and this
is. We talk a lot about thison the show, but the challenge between.
And you understand this as afather, as. As a son, as all of these
(52:40):
things, taking care of afamily, to run a business because
you got bills to pay and healbecause you got to live to pay them
bills. So I think the biggestchallenge I find many of us have
is finding the alignment inthose two things. Because they feel
like they're polar opposites.Yes. Right. So, yeah.
(53:04):
Yeah.
So I'm curious, Jason, whenyou said you experienced growth in
2024, because you said that,it made me think, and I wanted to
Go back to that. What did thatmean for you when you're like, oh,
I'm experiencing growth andthis is happening. And wait a minute,
I need to slow this down.
Yes.
What switched. What do youthink happened?
(53:27):
More clients were coming in,so I needed to raise my prices. And
that's not like. It wasn't,like, from a place of greed. It was
because I lowered them so Icould get more clients. And so I'm
like, oh, that's when Iswitched out of alignment. Yes, I
got more clients, but it wasno longer sustainable. So it kind
of begs the question, well, ifI didn't lower them, would the people
(53:48):
have come and, you know, allof these things? So that's how it.
That's how the brain works.Right? And so that's where we're
kind of like, oh, I noticedthis thought that comes up. The truth
is, I lowered my prices andmore people came in, and now I have
the opportunity to raise them.And that's. That's. That's the truth.
Right? So these. All thechatter, we're not turning it off.
(54:08):
That's what. I don't believethat we should turn it off. We need
to acknowledge it. But that'swhat it looked like. It looked like
slowing down so that I can seewhat I needed to do, like, turning
off some things, like, okay,yeah, we're not. We're not. We got
enough right now. It's not themonetary goal that I want, but it's
a. I'm at capacity as far asthe people that I want to serve,
(54:31):
so I could have brought morepeople on, but I was at capacity
for where I want to be becauseI had already aligned, like, my calendar,
my days that I'm working allof these things, and now I'm ready
to shift and take on morepeople than I already kind of decided
for myself. But why? And thatwas a fear move. I don't want to
(54:56):
turn people away or refer themto other coaches or put them on a
wait list. And so that was myresponse. Like, I need to, you know,
and also some people pleasingand some things like that that came
in, like, why am I. Why don'tI want to put them on a wait list?
Because I don't want to makepeople wait, and I didn't want to.
(55:17):
And so it really quickly goesinto personal. And as a little boy,
like, you're taught to behumble and serve others and give
and hold the door. And, youknow, so I made that to mean that,
like, you always hold the doorfor people. You always do this like
it's my own. What I made it tomean it. What didn't mean that My
(55:37):
parents were teaching me toput everybody ahead of me, but that's
how I was trained, that youalways put people first, people,
other people first. You know,people come to your house, you have
to serve the socks off ofthem. And, you know, you just. That's
how we were. That's how I wasraised. And I'm like, oh, yeah, that
does not serve my business.And that's not true that I have to
do that.
(55:58):
I mean that right there. Imean that right there. Right. I mean
that right there. I think it'spowerful for you to share that in
real life because I think wehear a lot about just like, oh, yeah,
energetically, and what doesthis look like? And I feel like we
gave everyone good, tangibleexamples of what this looks like,
(56:20):
especially when we saybusiness is personal. Energetics
matter, alignment matters.Seeing how these things roll off
into our businesses, I thinkwe gave some examples there. So tell
us how people can learn moreabout what you're doing, how they
can connect with you. What isyour mission, purpose right now with
(56:44):
your business that's going on?Because I, you know, I. I love me
some Jason, y'. All. I couldtalk about Jason all day long. I
just. Y' all just don't know.But, yeah.
Yeah. So I have two thingsthat I'm working on now, and it is
the EFT tapping academy. SoI'm teaching coaches, or people are
not coaches, but maybe theywant to learn how to do this work,
(57:04):
how to deepen their own workor how to help other people. So if
you're already. This is bestfor people already kind of coaches
or, you know, if you're atherapist or massage therapist or
anything like that, and youwant to add this to your practice
or if it's something thatyou're interested in doing. And then
the business alignmentecosystem, it's kind of similar to
the work. I know what you do,Nikita. It's very similar to aligning,
(57:28):
you know, your business withyour life and making sure that there's
alignment. The one slightdifference that we offer is, is our
platform with it. So it's verysimilar. When you come into that
program, we have freedom typesthat you work through. So your time
freedom, just making sureyou're honoring that, your financial
freedom, your goals. So whatfinancial freedom looks like to everyone
(57:52):
is different. And so we workthrough that. And then it's your
location freedom. So somepeople want to be able to travel
and live in different parts ofthe world. And so we, we really build
your business. We help you todo that around your freedom types.
So it's very specific to you.And then we have a platform that
helps you to kind of build allof those things as well. So yeah,
(58:13):
that's, that's what we'redoing. I'm not currently taking any
one on ones right now. I haveone spot that may be opening up in
mid June or something, but I'mnot sure if they're going to resign.
But yeah, that's, that's howin, in those programs there's coaching
by me and, and my businesspartner. We offer coaching there.
It's. It's an amazing program.I think so.
(58:35):
I mean it really is. I think,you know, when I first started tapping
for a lot of people, EFT isnew. Don't know what it is, don't
understand what it is. We'llhave a link to some of you. You have
some YouTube channels, YouTubevideos on like what it is, how it
works. But it was one of themost powerful things that I incorporated
(58:57):
and just being able to namethe feeling, where it was in my body,
how it felt and what it, whatit might look like, and give myself
permission to feel thefeeling. Because sometimes we are
just in it and we're judgingit and we can't even do anything.
When you're in judgment zone,you just literally can't. You just
(59:18):
can't go anywhere other thannowhere. And so it really has been
a huge part of my journey forchronic illness, for relationships,
all of those things, like justbeing able to be really familiar
with all of those things. Andit's helped a lot in a lot of different
ways. And thanks to you and acouple other coaches that have really
(59:41):
helped in that space, it's apowerful thing. So if you guys haven't
ever done it and you don'tknow what we're talking about, or
if you have and you've beenseeing it and you want to add it
as a modality in your, in yourcoaching business, I highly recommend
it. And if you want it fromsomeone who knows what they're talking
about and has theunderstanding and knows the nuance
(01:00:02):
and capacity without theadditional. There is woo when it
comes to this topic. Some wayto woo. It's just woo. And then a
whole nother planet. This islike seriously dialed in, grounded,
scientific. And I love thatthat's the angle that you come and
you, you keep that in becauseit's helpful.
(01:00:26):
Yeah, yeah. And if they useyour affiliate link, they can get
A seven day free trial. Socome in, check it out, see if you
like it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, thankyou so much, Jason, for coming on
and being one of the first menon the show.
I am.
So you might just be the onlyone between you and my husband. I
just, you know, talk aboutfear. That's a fear, having a man
(01:00:48):
come up on this show otherthan someone I intimate. Like, I
feel like I really know you,Jason. So that's why it felt very.
I could do this, do this,Nikita. So I'm really thankful for
you.
No, I appreciate that there'sa lot of spaces that are kept for
women and I appreciate thatit's important that there's a safe
(01:01:09):
space for women to be in. Andthat's why I really appreciate the
women who work with me becauseI know that they're bringing a lot
of women bring some thingsthat it takes a lot. They're ready
to heal through some things,and working with a man actually allows
them to do that. And I justhonor them because I don't know what,
you know, I don't know whatthat's, you know, what that's like
(01:01:30):
or anything, but it's, it's,it's an amazing, it's an amazing
work. So thank you for allthat you do.
Oh, thank you. I appreciateit. I received that. Thank you, Jason.
Yes, absolutely.
All right, you guys, we'll seeyou in the next one. That's a wrap
(01:01:54):
for this episode of Businesswith Chronic Illness. If you you
would like to start and growan online business with me, head
to the show Notes to click alink to book a sales call and learn
how to make money with chronicillness. You can also check out our
website@ww.CraftedToThrive.comfor this episode's show notes and
join our email list to getexclusive content where I coach you
(01:02:14):
on how to chronically grow aprofitable business while living
with chronic illness. Untilnext time, remember, yes, you are
crafted to thrive.
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