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August 15, 2025 41 mins

Have you ever looked back at a breakup and wondered: Did I really miss those red flags, or was I ignoring what I didn’t want to see? Do your relationships seem to fall into similar patterns—leaving you with the same heartbreak, just with a new face? In Episode 407 of The Charisma Quotient, “The 6 Dirty “F” words and Identifying Red Flags in Relationships: Interview with Sarah Intelligator ” Kimmy sits down with acclaimed family law attorney and author Sarah Intelligator, who brings not just her legal expertise, but hard-won personal insight from her own journey through divorce and self-growth.

 

Kimmy opens the episode by exploring the concept of red flags, explaining that most of us don’t actually “miss” them—we simply learn to explain them away. As Sarah joins the conversation, she shares her own origin story, blending her professional work watching relationships crumble in and out of the courtroom with candid stories from her personal life—including marrying young and later working through her own divorce. Recognizing the emotional and financial devastation of separation, she felt inspired to help others avoid ending up in her office in the first place, leading her to author her book, "Live Laugh, Find True Love."

The heart of the episode focuses on the “Dirty F Words” Sarah has identified as the most common fail factors she sees repeatedly in relationships heading for divorce. Together, Kimmy and Sarah break down how these patterns show up during the dating process and later in long-term relationships. They highlight the importance of truly knowing your own values, understanding how fear can keep you in the wrong relationships, and why having a solid foundation—built on respect, trust, communication, and teamwork—is essential for lasting partnership.

 You’ll hear:

  • The six “Dirty F Words” (a.k.a. fail factors) that show up in almost every relationship that ends in divorce—and how to notice them before it’s too late

  • The #1 mistake daters make: confusing chemistry for compatibility, and what fundamental values really mean

  • How fear—of being alone, of change, of not being lovable—keeps you stuck, PLUS actionable steps to reclaim your confidence and decision-making

  • Why trying to FIX your partner never works, and what actually does build healthy, lasting love

If you’re ready to stop blaming “bad luck” and instead take empowered, loving responsibility for your choices and your future relationships, hop on a private call with Kimmy to help you come up with ways to do that.  Book it here https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/

Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels.

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Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣

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Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣

Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣

Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/

Instagram: @kimmyseltzer

Twitter: @kimmyseltzer

Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers

Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

 

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