July 27, 2025 • 10 mins
When I taught Parent Education classes, single parents dating would routinely ask this question: “When can I introduce my children to the person I am dating?” In a previous article, we discussed how difficult it is being a Christian Single Parent. But it doesn’t matter whether the single parents dating are Christian singles or unbelievers, the issues are still the same. All single parents, custodial or non-custodial, need to take special care when broaching the subject of dating with their […]
The post Single Parents Dating and their Kids appeared first on Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey. Welcome to Oasis Singles.
My name is pastor Dave, and I'm so
excited you're here. By the way, this site
is not just about Christian dating service reviews
and so forth, but it's also about life
advice, all things Christian single.
We have articles. We have interactive ways that
you could get in touch with each other,
and we also have podcasts
(00:22):
that are all about the Christian life.
I hope you enjoy our site, and I
hope you enjoy the podcast you're about to
listen to right now. God bless.
When I taught parent education classes, single parents
would routinely
ask this question,
(00:42):
when can I introduce my children to the
person I am dating?
In a previous article, we discussed how difficult
it is being a Christian single parent,
but it doesn't matter whether the single parents
dating
are Christian singles or unbelievers,
the issues are still the same.
All single parents, custodial
(01:02):
or noncustodial,
need to take special care when broaching the
subject of dating with their kids.
Before a single parent even thinks about introducing
someone new into their child's life,
they should understand
where the child is emotionally
during this time.
The person seeking to date someone with kids
(01:24):
should also consider this.
Depending on the different circumstances
that each single parent's kids have gone through,
their reaction to the single parent dating
may take on one of several forms.
They may be fearful of losing the single
parent.
This is especially true in cases where the
other parent has died or abandoned the family.
(01:46):
The thinking here goes along these lines.
I lost my dad. Is my mom next?
They may be overly possessive and jealous of
the single parent's love, not wanting to share
mom and or dad with anyone else. It's
not uncommon
under these circumstances for the child, usually a
teenager,
to act out against the single dating parent
(02:09):
and their partner, which can cause major problems
for any relationship.
They may not trust any outsiders.
This occurs in cases where the noncustodial
single parent
or ex lover may have abused or neglected
the child.
They may secretly be hoping
mommy and daddy will get back together again
(02:31):
and will act out ways to accomplish this.
They may be grossed out or upset by
their single parent dating mom or dad expressing
romantic feelings for someone other than the other
parent.
Single parents thinking about dating should take care
because their children almost certainly will experience
(02:51):
one or more of the above issues.
Before single parent introduces another person,
there are several practical steps he or she
can take
to help the child and their dating relationship
at the same time.
The first thing to do if you are
a single parent not dating
is to not rush into a rebound relationship
(03:14):
in order to fill the void in your
own life.
The honest truth is you're not ready for
it and neither are your children.
Parenting experts suggest at least a one year's
wait
between relationships.
Why do they suggest this?
How often do we see single parents
(03:35):
dating go from one dysfunctional
relationship to the next
without ever learning from the past?
And how about the children who get more
confused as they experience loss after loss?
Instead,
use the singleness time as an opportunity to
heal, learn, and grow as a single parent.
(03:55):
Minister to your children and let god and
his people minister to you. Find a Christian
singles group where your heart can find peace
and acceptance.
God has not forsaken or left you, Hebrews
thirteen five, and will lead you into a
relationship when you are ready.
Secondly,
single parents dating should keep lines of communication
wide open between themselves and their children.
(04:18):
Find out what the kids are thinking or
fearing and honestly discuss it with them.
If they just hate the idea of mom
or dad dating, don't force it on them.
Allow them to express themselves as you practice
patience and compassion with your kids.
A few sessions with a respected Christian counselor
or experienced minister may also help.
Thirdly,
(04:39):
the single parent already in a dating relationship
should discuss these issues with the person they
are seeing and make a plan on when,
where, and how they would introduce them to
the children.
Of course, if you're a Christian, I'm assuming
your dating relationship is not based on lust
and casual sex, but is in fact a
steady relationship with a committed believer looking toward
(04:59):
the possibility of marriage. Isn't that the reason
you are dating in the first place?
It's interesting that both secular and Christian parenting
experts suggest that single parents dating should think
twice before introducing their children to people they
are casually dating.
If the single parent dating partner reacts selfishly
or simply cannot understand the children's issues,
(05:20):
I would pray about cutting losses and ending
the relationship
since this would be just the beginning of
problems.
Finally, when the single parent dating does decide
to introduce their partner to their children,
parenting experts suggested be with little fanfare.
In other words, introduce your special friend like
you would any other friend, male or female.
(05:40):
Avoid using words like love and dating, and
do a fun low stress activity.
Only after children have spent several times meeting
with the other person should the single dating
parent discuss the nature of the relationship.
(06:56):
17,
practice daily surrender.
Every morning, surrender your hurt and the journey
of forgiveness to god.
By making it a daily practice, you reinforce
your commitment to healing and keep god at
the center of your recovery.
18,
(07:17):
embrace new beginnings.
God's mercies are new every morning,
Lamentations
three twenty three.
Even in the aftermath of deep emotional pain,
God promises fresh starts.
Embrace these new beginnings
and remain open to the beautiful possibilities
(07:37):
god has in store for your future.
19,
seek closure.
While not always possible, if the opportunity arises,
seek closure.
It could be in the form of a
conversation with the person who hurt you or
a personal act of letting go.
Closure can often be the final chapter in
(07:59):
your forgiveness story.
20,
remember God's sovereignty.
God has a purpose for every experience,
even the painful ones.
Trust in his sovereignty and believe that he
can turn your pain into purpose,
using it for your growth and his glory.
(08:20):
Final thoughts on how to forgive someone who
hurt you.
Emotional hurt, especially in the realm of Christian
dating, can feel overwhelming.
But with God's grace, the journey to forgiveness
is not only possible,
but can also lead to profound spiritual growth.
While the road might be long and winding,
every step taken in love and grace draws
(08:42):
you closer to the heart of Christ.
And in that space,
true healing and forgiveness
can be found.
I have learned that the below scripture
teaches a very important life principle in a
multitude of ways.
Whenever a date or mate or someone offends
us or insults us, if we're not careful,
(09:03):
we can allow ourselves to quickly become filled
with bitterness,
anger, and resentment.
Believe me, carrying all of that negative stuff
around is unhealthy spiritually
and physically
and will eventually kill any potential for a
successful dating relationship.
Make allowance for each other's faults and forgive
(09:25):
anyone who offends you.
Remember, the lord forgave you, so you must
forgive others.
Colossians three thirteen, n l t.
If you ever face this type of situation,
please keep the last portion of this verse
especially close to your heart.
Remember,
the lord forgave you,
(09:46):
so you must forgive
others. I'm not saying that I perfected this
by any stretch of the imagination, but I
can attest to this truth in my own
life.
Whenever I have gone through such a situation
and kept the focus on the Lord's forgiveness
for my own sins, it's amazing how easily
all of those negative emotions are suppressed.
(10:09):
Amen.
Hey. Welcome to Oasis Singles.
My name is pastor Dave, and I'm so
excited you're here. By the way, this site
is not just about Christian dating service reviews
and so forth, but it's also about life
advice, all things Christian single.
We have articles. We have interactive ways that
you could get in touch with each other,
and we also have podcasts
(00:22):
that are all about the Christian life.
I hope you enjoy our site, and I
hope you enjoy the podcast you're about to
listen to right now. God bless.
When I taught parent education classes, single parents
would routinely
ask this question,
(00:42):
when can I introduce my children to the
person I am dating?
In a previous article, we discussed how difficult
it is being a Christian single parent,
but it doesn't matter whether the single parents
dating
are Christian singles or unbelievers,
the issues are still the same.
All single parents, custodial
(01:02):
or noncustodial,
need to take special care when broaching the
subject of dating with their kids.
Before a single parent even thinks about introducing
someone new into their child's life,
they should understand
where the child is emotionally
during this time.
The person seeking to date someone with kids
(01:24):
should also consider this.
Depending on the different circumstances
that each single parent's kids have gone through,
their reaction to the single parent dating
may take on one of several forms.
They may be fearful of losing the single
parent.
This is especially true in cases where the
other parent has died or abandoned the family.
(01:46):
The thinking here goes along these lines.
I lost my dad. Is my mom next?
They may be overly possessive and jealous of
the single parent's love, not wanting to share
mom and or dad with anyone else. It's
not uncommon
under these circumstances for the child, usually a
teenager,
to act out against the single dating parent
(02:09):
and their partner, which can cause major problems
for any relationship.
They may not trust any outsiders.
This occurs in cases where the noncustodial
single parent
or ex lover may have abused or neglected
the child.
They may secretly be hoping
mommy and daddy will get back together again
(02:31):
and will act out ways to accomplish this.
They may be grossed out or upset by
their single parent dating mom or dad expressing
romantic feelings for someone other than the other
parent.
Single parents thinking about dating should take care
because their children almost certainly will experience
(02:51):
one or more of the above issues.
Before single parent introduces another person,
there are several practical steps he or she
can take
to help the child and their dating relationship
at the same time.
The first thing to do if you are
a single parent not dating
is to not rush into a rebound relationship
(03:14):
in order to fill the void in your
own life.
The honest truth is you're not ready for
it and neither are your children.
Parenting experts suggest at least a one year's
wait
between relationships.
Why do they suggest this?
How often do we see single parents
(03:35):
dating go from one dysfunctional
relationship to the next
without ever learning from the past?
And how about the children who get more
confused as they experience loss after loss?
Instead,
use the singleness time as an opportunity to
heal, learn, and grow as a single parent.
(03:55):
Minister to your children and let god and
his people minister to you. Find a Christian
singles group where your heart can find peace
and acceptance.
God has not forsaken or left you, Hebrews
thirteen five, and will lead you into a
relationship when you are ready.
Secondly,
single parents dating should keep lines of communication
wide open between themselves and their children.
(04:18):
Find out what the kids are thinking or
fearing and honestly discuss it with them.
If they just hate the idea of mom
or dad dating, don't force it on them.
Allow them to express themselves as you practice
patience and compassion with your kids.
A few sessions with a respected Christian counselor
or experienced minister may also help.
Thirdly,
(04:39):
the single parent already in a dating relationship
should discuss these issues with the person they
are seeing and make a plan on when,
where, and how they would introduce them to
the children.
Of course, if you're a Christian, I'm assuming
your dating relationship is not based on lust
and casual sex, but is in fact a
steady relationship with a committed believer looking toward
(04:59):
the possibility of marriage. Isn't that the reason
you are dating in the first place?
It's interesting that both secular and Christian parenting
experts suggest that single parents dating should think
twice before introducing their children to people they
are casually dating.
If the single parent dating partner reacts selfishly
or simply cannot understand the children's issues,
(05:20):
I would pray about cutting losses and ending
the relationship
since this would be just the beginning of
problems.
Finally, when the single parent dating does decide
to introduce their partner to their children,
parenting experts suggested be with little fanfare.
In other words, introduce your special friend like
you would any other friend, male or female.
(05:40):
Avoid using words like love and dating, and
do a fun low stress activity.
Only after children have spent several times meeting
with the other person should the single dating
parent discuss the nature of the relationship.
(06:56):
17,
practice daily surrender.
Every morning, surrender your hurt and the journey
of forgiveness to god.
By making it a daily practice, you reinforce
your commitment to healing and keep god at
the center of your recovery.
18,
(07:17):
embrace new beginnings.
God's mercies are new every morning,
Lamentations
three twenty three.
Even in the aftermath of deep emotional pain,
God promises fresh starts.
Embrace these new beginnings
and remain open to the beautiful possibilities
(07:37):
god has in store for your future.
19,
seek closure.
While not always possible, if the opportunity arises,
seek closure.
It could be in the form of a
conversation with the person who hurt you or
a personal act of letting go.
Closure can often be the final chapter in
(07:59):
your forgiveness story.
20,
remember God's sovereignty.
God has a purpose for every experience,
even the painful ones.
Trust in his sovereignty and believe that he
can turn your pain into purpose,
using it for your growth and his glory.
(08:20):
Final thoughts on how to forgive someone who
hurt you.
Emotional hurt, especially in the realm of Christian
dating, can feel overwhelming.
But with God's grace, the journey to forgiveness
is not only possible,
but can also lead to profound spiritual growth.
While the road might be long and winding,
every step taken in love and grace draws
(08:42):
you closer to the heart of Christ.
And in that space,
true healing and forgiveness
can be found.
I have learned that the below scripture
teaches a very important life principle in a
multitude of ways.
Whenever a date or mate or someone offends
us or insults us, if we're not careful,
(09:03):
we can allow ourselves to quickly become filled
with bitterness,
anger, and resentment.
Believe me, carrying all of that negative stuff
around is unhealthy spiritually
and physically
and will eventually kill any potential for a
successful dating relationship.
Make allowance for each other's faults and forgive
(09:25):
anyone who offends you.
Remember, the lord forgave you, so you must
forgive others.
Colossians three thirteen, n l t.
If you ever face this type of situation,
please keep the last portion of this verse
especially close to your heart.
Remember,
the lord forgave you,
(09:46):
so you must forgive
others. I'm not saying that I perfected this
by any stretch of the imagination, but I
can attest to this truth in my own
life.
Whenever I have gone through such a situation
and kept the focus on the Lord's forgiveness
for my own sins, it's amazing how easily
all of those negative emotions are suppressed.
(10:09):
Amen.
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