September 27, 2025 • 10 mins
Christian singles ask us this often: What can Christian couples do sexually before marriage? Is masturbation together ok? Another question I hear often is: Is it a sin to have sex before marriage? In today’s age of modern relationships, many Christian couples find themselves navigating the intricate boundaries of intimacy before marriage. Traditional Christian teachings emphasize the importance of preserving sexual purity, and not why Christian couples should not live together before marriage. And when Christian couples falter, is a […]
The post What Can Christian Couples Do Sexually Before Marriage? appeared first on Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Christian singles ask us this often.
What can Christian couples do sexually before marriage?
Is masturbation together okay?
Another question I hear often is, is it
a sin to have sex before marriage?
In today's age of modern relationships,
many Christian couples find themselves navigating the intricate
(00:20):
boundaries of intimacy before marriage.
Traditional Christian teachings
emphasize the importance of preserving sexual purity
and not why Christian couples should not live
together before marriage?
And when Christian couples falter, is a breakup
the answer?
Let's explore the guidelines and the grace surrounding
(00:40):
premarital intimacy from a Christian perspective.
What can Christians do sexually before marriage?
Points one,
understanding the foundations of Christian sexual ethics.
At the heart of Christian teaching about premarital
intimacy is the concept of chastity.
(01:02):
While often confused with celibacy,
complete abstention from sexual activity,
chastity in essence involves aligning one's sexual conduct
with the moral teachings and values of Christianity.
For unmarried couples, this generally means refraining from
sexual activities that are reserved for the marital
union.
(01:22):
Two,
drawing boundaries,
what's acceptable.
The bible provides guidance, but doesn't explicitly
detail every intimate action and its appropriateness before
marriage.
However,
it emphasizes
the importance of purity in thought and action.
Physical affection.
(01:43):
Displaying love through holding hands, hugging,
or even like kissing is generally considered acceptable.
These are forms of affection that don't necessarily
lead to sexual arousal.
Open dialogue.
Communication is key.
Discussing boundaries, feelings, and concerns with your partner
(02:04):
ensures clarity and mutual respect.
Avoid tempting situations.
Being alone in secluded or private spaces,
spending nights together, or engaging in long sessions
of physical intimacy can make it challenging to
keep boundaries.
It's beneficial to be aware of situations that
may lead to temptation.
(02:27):
Three,
the sin dilemma.
Is a breakup necessary?
All humans falter.
If a Christian couple engages in sexual activity
before marriage,
they may feel they've sinned or broken a
commandment.
So should Christian couples who sexually sin break
up?
Seeking forgiveness and understanding.
(02:48):
Christianity
is centered on the teachings of grace, forgiveness,
and redemption.
Before making any hasty decisions, it's crucial to
understand these concepts.
Jesus often met people where they were, offering
love and forgiveness.
The couple can seek spiritual guidance,
confess if they feel it's necessary,
(03:08):
and understand the depth of god's mercy.
Understanding the relationship.
Instead of focusing only on the act, couples
should evaluate the overall health and direction of
their relationship.
Was the act the result of genuine love
or was it influenced by impulsiveness
or external pressures?
(03:30):
This introspection
can guide the couple's next steps.
Seeking counseling.
Consulting with a trusted spiritual leader or a
Christian counselor can help couples navigate their feelings
of guilt and decide on the future of
their relationship.
Four, moving forward.
If a couple suffers moral failure and decides
(03:51):
to continue their relationship
after engaging in premarital sexual activity,
setting new boundaries and seeking spiritual growth together
is essential.
Engaging in bible studies, joining a Christian group,
or attending premarital
counseling are ways to strengthen their bond and
align more closely with Christian teachings.
(04:14):
Five,
redefining intimacy in Christian relationships.
For Christian couples seeking to honor their faith
while fostering a deep connection,
it's important to broaden the definition of intimacy.
True intimacy goes beyond physical closeness.
It encompasses emotional, intellectual, and spiritual bonds.
(04:38):
Emotional intimacy.
Sharing personal stories, fears, dreams, and aspirations allows
couples to connect on a profound level.
It's a foundational element of trust and understanding
in a relationship.
Intellectual intimacy.
Engaging in discussions about faith, life, philosophies, and
(04:59):
even challenges
deepens the intellectual bond.
Studying the bible together, for instance, can lead
to a richer understanding of one's faith and
partner.
Spiritual intimacy.
This is the cornerstone for Christian couples.
Praying together, attending church services, and participating in
(05:20):
mission activities as a pair can significantly fortify
the relationship.
Shared spiritual goals and values are often the
glue that holds a relationship together.
Six,
purity is more than physical.
It's easy to equate purity solely with sexual
abstinence,
but in the Christian world view, purity encompasses
(05:43):
much more.
Purity of heart, mind, and intention is equally
essential.
Avoiding impure thoughts, refraining from harmful actions, and
nurturing good intentions are all facets of a
pure life.
For couples, this means treating each other with
genuine respect, love, and understanding.
Seven, renewed commitment.
(06:05):
Mistakes happen.
However, they can also be opportunities for growth.
If boundaries are crossed, couples can take it
as a chance to reassess the commitments both
to each other and to God.
Reestablishing
boundaries, seeking guidance, and delving deeper into faith
can transform these moments into periods of significant
growth.
(06:26):
Eight, the power of community.
Christianity
emphasizes the importance of community.
Surrounding oneself with like minded individuals or groups
can serve as a support system for couples.
These communities often offer guidance, understanding, and accountability,
helping couples stay on their chosen
(06:47):
path. Nine, understanding the layers of emotional intimacy.
Emotional intimacy is pivotal in Christian relationships.
It involves being vulnerable and open with each
other, forging a deep emotional connection.
Sharing vulnerabilities.
Being open about personal weaknesses and past mistakes
(07:07):
can be daunting, but it fosters trust.
Sharing vulnerabilities
not only brings couples closer, but also allows
them to support and uplift each other in
areas of weakness.
Active listening.
Emotional intimacy is not just about sharing, it's
also about listening.
Actively listening to your partner's feelings, concerns, and
(07:30):
joys
shows that you value and care about their
emotional well-being.
10, the depth of intellectual intimacy.
Exploring intellectual intimacy means connecting on a cerebral
level,
challenging each other's beliefs and thought processes,
which can lead to profound mutual growth.
(07:52):
Bible study discussions,
Delving deep into bible passages and discussing interpretations
can spark intellectual stimulation and strengthen the couple's
spiritual bond.
Engaging in debates.
Healthy debates on various topics from current events
to philosophical questions can strengthen mutual respect and
(08:12):
understanding.
11, nurturing spiritual intimacy.
For Christian couples, spiritual intimacy is paramount.
It transcends the physical and emotional, aligning two
souls and faith.
Joint prayer sessions.
Spending time in prayer together allows couples to
lay their concerns,
(08:33):
hopes, and thanks before god as a unit.
Attending retreats.
Participating in Christian retreats provides an environment for
couples to rejuvenate their faith and deepen their
connection.
12,
purity beyond the physical realm.
Christian teachings emphasize purity in every facet of
life. It's not limited to sexual actions. It
(08:54):
envelops thoughts, words, and intentions.
Guarding thoughts.
The bible speaks of taking every thought captive.
This entails recognizing impure thoughts and actively choosing
not to dwell on them.
Pure speech. Words hold power.
Engaging in uplifting conversations,
avoiding gossip, and speaking words of affirmation enhances
(09:16):
purity in a relationship.
13.
Embracing accountability through community.
A strong Christian community acts as a pillar
of support and accountability for couples.
Joining small groups. Many churches offer small group
bible studies for couples.
These gatherings allow couples to share experiences,
(09:37):
seek advice, and learn from others.
Mentorship.
Seeking guidance from older, more experienced Christian couples
can provide invaluable insights and wisdom.
Christian couples navigating the landscape of intimacy before
marriage have a wealth of resources at their
disposal,
both in traditional teachings and the supportive Christian
(09:58):
community.
By understanding the broader definitions of intimacy and
purity and leaning into the grace and forgiveness
at the core of Christianity,
couples can build a strong faith filled foundation
for their future together.
Intimacy in Christian relationships is multifaceted,
encompassing emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connections.
(10:20):
By exploring these depths and relying on the
Christian community for support,
couples can build a relationship firmly grounded in
faith, mutual respect, and love.
Christian singles ask us this often.
What can Christian couples do sexually before marriage?
Is masturbation together okay?
Another question I hear often is, is it
a sin to have sex before marriage?
In today's age of modern relationships,
many Christian couples find themselves navigating the intricate
(00:20):
boundaries of intimacy before marriage.
Traditional Christian teachings
emphasize the importance of preserving sexual purity
and not why Christian couples should not live
together before marriage?
And when Christian couples falter, is a breakup
the answer?
Let's explore the guidelines and the grace surrounding
(00:40):
premarital intimacy from a Christian perspective.
What can Christians do sexually before marriage?
Points one,
understanding the foundations of Christian sexual ethics.
At the heart of Christian teaching about premarital
intimacy is the concept of chastity.
(01:02):
While often confused with celibacy,
complete abstention from sexual activity,
chastity in essence involves aligning one's sexual conduct
with the moral teachings and values of Christianity.
For unmarried couples, this generally means refraining from
sexual activities that are reserved for the marital
union.
(01:22):
Two,
drawing boundaries,
what's acceptable.
The bible provides guidance, but doesn't explicitly
detail every intimate action and its appropriateness before
marriage.
However,
it emphasizes
the importance of purity in thought and action.
Physical affection.
(01:43):
Displaying love through holding hands, hugging,
or even like kissing is generally considered acceptable.
These are forms of affection that don't necessarily
lead to sexual arousal.
Open dialogue.
Communication is key.
Discussing boundaries, feelings, and concerns with your partner
(02:04):
ensures clarity and mutual respect.
Avoid tempting situations.
Being alone in secluded or private spaces,
spending nights together, or engaging in long sessions
of physical intimacy can make it challenging to
keep boundaries.
It's beneficial to be aware of situations that
may lead to temptation.
(02:27):
Three,
the sin dilemma.
Is a breakup necessary?
All humans falter.
If a Christian couple engages in sexual activity
before marriage,
they may feel they've sinned or broken a
commandment.
So should Christian couples who sexually sin break
up?
Seeking forgiveness and understanding.
(02:48):
Christianity
is centered on the teachings of grace, forgiveness,
and redemption.
Before making any hasty decisions, it's crucial to
understand these concepts.
Jesus often met people where they were, offering
love and forgiveness.
The couple can seek spiritual guidance,
confess if they feel it's necessary,
(03:08):
and understand the depth of god's mercy.
Understanding the relationship.
Instead of focusing only on the act, couples
should evaluate the overall health and direction of
their relationship.
Was the act the result of genuine love
or was it influenced by impulsiveness
or external pressures?
(03:30):
This introspection
can guide the couple's next steps.
Seeking counseling.
Consulting with a trusted spiritual leader or a
Christian counselor can help couples navigate their feelings
of guilt and decide on the future of
their relationship.
Four, moving forward.
If a couple suffers moral failure and decides
(03:51):
to continue their relationship
after engaging in premarital sexual activity,
setting new boundaries and seeking spiritual growth together
is essential.
Engaging in bible studies, joining a Christian group,
or attending premarital
counseling are ways to strengthen their bond and
align more closely with Christian teachings.
(04:14):
Five,
redefining intimacy in Christian relationships.
For Christian couples seeking to honor their faith
while fostering a deep connection,
it's important to broaden the definition of intimacy.
True intimacy goes beyond physical closeness.
It encompasses emotional, intellectual, and spiritual bonds.
(04:38):
Emotional intimacy.
Sharing personal stories, fears, dreams, and aspirations allows
couples to connect on a profound level.
It's a foundational element of trust and understanding
in a relationship.
Intellectual intimacy.
Engaging in discussions about faith, life, philosophies, and
(04:59):
even challenges
deepens the intellectual bond.
Studying the bible together, for instance, can lead
to a richer understanding of one's faith and
partner.
Spiritual intimacy.
This is the cornerstone for Christian couples.
Praying together, attending church services, and participating in
(05:20):
mission activities as a pair can significantly fortify
the relationship.
Shared spiritual goals and values are often the
glue that holds a relationship together.
Six,
purity is more than physical.
It's easy to equate purity solely with sexual
abstinence,
but in the Christian world view, purity encompasses
(05:43):
much more.
Purity of heart, mind, and intention is equally
essential.
Avoiding impure thoughts, refraining from harmful actions, and
nurturing good intentions are all facets of a
pure life.
For couples, this means treating each other with
genuine respect, love, and understanding.
Seven, renewed commitment.
(06:05):
Mistakes happen.
However, they can also be opportunities for growth.
If boundaries are crossed, couples can take it
as a chance to reassess the commitments both
to each other and to God.
Reestablishing
boundaries, seeking guidance, and delving deeper into faith
can transform these moments into periods of significant
growth.
(06:26):
Eight, the power of community.
Christianity
emphasizes the importance of community.
Surrounding oneself with like minded individuals or groups
can serve as a support system for couples.
These communities often offer guidance, understanding, and accountability,
helping couples stay on their chosen
(06:47):
path. Nine, understanding the layers of emotional intimacy.
Emotional intimacy is pivotal in Christian relationships.
It involves being vulnerable and open with each
other, forging a deep emotional connection.
Sharing vulnerabilities.
Being open about personal weaknesses and past mistakes
(07:07):
can be daunting, but it fosters trust.
Sharing vulnerabilities
not only brings couples closer, but also allows
them to support and uplift each other in
areas of weakness.
Active listening.
Emotional intimacy is not just about sharing, it's
also about listening.
Actively listening to your partner's feelings, concerns, and
(07:30):
joys
shows that you value and care about their
emotional well-being.
10, the depth of intellectual intimacy.
Exploring intellectual intimacy means connecting on a cerebral
level,
challenging each other's beliefs and thought processes,
which can lead to profound mutual growth.
(07:52):
Bible study discussions,
Delving deep into bible passages and discussing interpretations
can spark intellectual stimulation and strengthen the couple's
spiritual bond.
Engaging in debates.
Healthy debates on various topics from current events
to philosophical questions can strengthen mutual respect and
(08:12):
understanding.
11, nurturing spiritual intimacy.
For Christian couples, spiritual intimacy is paramount.
It transcends the physical and emotional, aligning two
souls and faith.
Joint prayer sessions.
Spending time in prayer together allows couples to
lay their concerns,
(08:33):
hopes, and thanks before god as a unit.
Attending retreats.
Participating in Christian retreats provides an environment for
couples to rejuvenate their faith and deepen their
connection.
12,
purity beyond the physical realm.
Christian teachings emphasize purity in every facet of
life. It's not limited to sexual actions. It
(08:54):
envelops thoughts, words, and intentions.
Guarding thoughts.
The bible speaks of taking every thought captive.
This entails recognizing impure thoughts and actively choosing
not to dwell on them.
Pure speech. Words hold power.
Engaging in uplifting conversations,
avoiding gossip, and speaking words of affirmation enhances
(09:16):
purity in a relationship.
13.
Embracing accountability through community.
A strong Christian community acts as a pillar
of support and accountability for couples.
Joining small groups. Many churches offer small group
bible studies for couples.
These gatherings allow couples to share experiences,
(09:37):
seek advice, and learn from others.
Mentorship.
Seeking guidance from older, more experienced Christian couples
can provide invaluable insights and wisdom.
Christian couples navigating the landscape of intimacy before
marriage have a wealth of resources at their
disposal,
both in traditional teachings and the supportive Christian
(09:58):
community.
By understanding the broader definitions of intimacy and
purity and leaning into the grace and forgiveness
at the core of Christianity,
couples can build a strong faith filled foundation
for their future together.
Intimacy in Christian relationships is multifaceted,
encompassing emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connections.
(10:20):
By exploring these depths and relying on the
Christian community for support,
couples can build a relationship firmly grounded in
faith, mutual respect, and love.
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