Coaching today isn’t the same as it was 10, 20, or 30 years ago. The landscape of youth development has changed, and adolescence now extends well beyond high school. As adolescence expands, today’s athletes need strong coaches more than ever. In this episode, Coach 360 host, Colton Leonard, welcomes back Coach Stephen Mackey for our special series "Huddle Up With Coach Mackey."
Mackey introduces the Five E’s of Leadership—Empathy, Example, Expectation, Equipping, and Encouragement—as a game plan for maximizing impact on and off the field.
If you’re looking to set high standards while still meeting young athletes where they are, this episode is for you.
Key Takeaways from the Episode
- Adolescence is Expanding – Many young adults aren’t reaching full independence until 25, meaning coaches have an even greater responsibility to provide structure and mentorship.
- The Five E’s of Leadership – The best coaches lead through Empathy, Example, Expectation, Equipping, and Encouragement.
- Empathy Doesn’t Mean Soft – Understanding why athletes think and act a certain way helps coaches lead more effectively, not lower expectations.
- Set the Standard by Example – If you demand hard work, discipline, and excellence from your athletes, you must demonstrate it first.
- High Expectations Inspire Growth – Athletes don’t fear challenges; they thrive when they know a coach believes in them and equips them to rise to the occasion.
- Encouragement Fuels the Process – Without consistent encouragement, even the most disciplined athletes can burn out. The best coaches build up their players every step of the way.
2W PURPOSE STATEMENT PAGE: www.2words.tv/purposestatement
CONNECT WITH COACH MACKEY
Stephen Mackey is a keynote speaker, and founder of 2Words Character Development. Building on the Six Pillars of a Championship Character – Toughness, Integrity, Belief, Excellence, Effort, and Service – he helps equip players, teams and organizations elevate their performance by building a culture of character. If you would like to connect with Coach Mackey, invite him to speak at an event, or receive his weekly encouragements texts, click here to visit Stephen Mackey's Zaap page with all of his most current related links and information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Hey, everyone. My name is Colton, and I'm the host of the Coach 360 podcast. Here, our goal is to come alongside and equip coaches with the resources to help develop character through sports and raise up the next generation of leaders. Not only do we do that through this podcast and interviewing coaches from across the nation about character, culture, and leadership, but we also do it through our 2 words character development curriculums. If you want to learn more about these or anything else that we offer, visit our website, 2words.tv. That's the number 2, words.tv. Or you can always drop me an email, colton at 2words.tv. Thanks for listening today. Let's get into the show. Have you registered for the Texas Way yet? The Texas Way is a collaborative campaign between Texas High School Coaches Association, Texas High School Athletic Directors Association, and 2 Words Character Development to improve the level of sportsmanship at UIL sporting events. Decrease the number of ejections at UIL sporting events and strengthen communities and the relationships between coaches, athletes, officials, and fans. Register now for this free resource at www.playthetexasway.com. The Texas Way is powered by Mammoth Sports Construction. Do something big. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Coach 360 Today, I'm hanging out with Coach Mackey. Got the big man on the line. Mack, what's up, brother? What's up, my man? Great to be back on the pod. It's been a hot minute since we've done this, but I'm excited to get back in the rhythm of getting to not only visit with you, but encourage coaches through the podcast. That's it. And we've got a great outline coming up this semester. So you're totally right. We have taken a little bit of a hiatus on the podcast, but for those that are tuning in and jumping back in, We've got a great schedule planned for this upcoming school year and the rest of this semester. And so excited to be on here with you and excited to be chatting with you today. Yes, sir. Let's do it. Well, Hey Mac, I've been, uh, recently in some of the podcast interviews, I've been asking coaches kind of as a, a parting question. What is something that other coaches need to know about leading this generation of students? And so we've been getting some really great feedback from all across different coaches, different places in the state and beyond. I'd love to hear your response to that. As I think about what coaches need to know about leading this generation of students, I jumped to an article that I read that, that really in some ways shocked me. And in other ways helped me see things crystal clear. The article was entitled twenty-five is the new 18th. And, and what it explored was this idea that adolescence has expanded over the last several decades that, uh, to maybe put it simply, if I could just kind of put it in the Mackey international version of what this article talked about. Was this idea that there was a point for me and you, uh, for, for many of our coaches, when, when you turned eighteen your dad gave you a gift and that gift was two weeks. Two weeks to move out or start paying rent that at eighteen life began in adulthood and all of the things that came with it. Started at eighteen But on the other end, there were some things of teenage years, adolescence, adulthood that you didn't get to until eighth or ninth grade. And so you kind of had this, um, Short window of adolescence. But what we found now is that that window has expanded. And so you see that. Younger and younger students are experiencing things that were once reserved for those that were older and older. That's why you have fourth and fifth graders who are. You know, doing things and having conversations and, and are exposed to things that used to fifth and sixth graders you would think would never be exposed to. And it's why on the other end, you see twenty-five year olds who've graduated from college finally, and they can't walk and chew bubble gum at the same time. Now, of course, this is not everyone. I don't want to paint this broad brush and say this is everyone. But by and large, we see this expansion. Well, the challenging part about this is Is if you look at a student from sixth grade to seventh, excuse me, from sixth grade to twelfth, When they're in pre-athletics and athletics, well, how many years are they in there? I'll let our listeners do the math. You're driving, washing dishes, do the math. Sixth grade to 12th grade, how many years? I hope you didn't say six because it's sixth grade, seventh grade, eighth grade, ninth grade, 11th grade, 12th grade. That's seven years from sixth grade to 12th that they are potentially in an athletic program. But if adolescence goes until twenty-five well, how many years is it from eighteen to 25? eighteen nineteen twenty twenty-one are you counting at home? twenty-two twenty-three twenty-four twenty-five That's eight years. And so students today will have more time in adolescence after they graduate high school Than they do in middle school and high school athletics combined. And that is both shocking and eye-opening. And if we want to know the importance of the role of a coach, if we want to know the importance of what we need to know to lead these students now, We got to realize that they are going to be going into the wild wild west without a caring adult and they're going to spend more time away from caring adults than they will with a caring adult and adolescents. And so that to me needs to shape. If you could imagine guardrails or boundaries around what we need to be thinking about, that is where I start. And I say, we have to do the work and we've got to do the work right now. And so, um, I, I shared this with a, with a group of coaches, uh, from across the country and, and a coach actually from Frisco, uh, who has used our, our 2 words program, uh, For many years, he chimed in on the call and he said, okay, well, hey, like, I get that. I see it. That makes sense to me. But what do I do about it? Like, I still have standards. There are still things I need my athletes to do. And by the way, my job is still in part Determined by the performance of these sixteen and seventeen year old kids who haven't even hit the halfway point of adolescence. So what is it that I'm supposed to do given this information? Well, I think that's where my answer to your question, Colton, what do coaches need to know really begins. That was kind of the expansion of adolescence is really the The framework, the foundation, the work and now begins the work of, of what we do. And so, um, as I'm prone to do, uh, I put a number on it and I'm prone to do, I put a letter with that number. It's kind of my thing. And so. Um, if I were to say there were five things that I wanted coaches to know about leading the next generation, here they are. I call them the five E's. Empathy. Example. Expectation, equipping, and encouragement. So let's talk about each of them. Let's begin with empathy. When we think about empathy, I don't want you to hear, go soft. I don't want you to hear make it easy. When you hear empathy, I want you to hear understanding. I need to understand where these students are, what makes them tick, what they think, how they think, why they think, where they're coming from, what's waiting for them when they get home. We need to understand that. Our students in order to lead them well. And of course, this makes perfect sense if you were to think about it as a problem to solve, not like they're broken, but like a math problem. Well, to solve a math problem, I have to understand the different variables that are at play. I can't walk in ready to do subtraction when I'm doing a multiplication problem. Like I, if I don't understand what's in front of me, I'm not going to get to the right answer, even if the things that I'm doing could get me the right answer in a different situation. Does that make sense? Mm hmm. And so when I say you need to begin with empathy, what I'm saying is you gotta, you gotta understand them, put yourself in their shoes. And that means you're gonna have to learn some stuff that you, about some stuff that you're not interested in. And so we learn about the music. We learn their language. Middle schoolers today have an entirely different vocabulary than I did when I was in middle school or in high school or in college. Like you need a Siri to just translate for you. Well, thank God we live in 2025 and we got great technology that can translate things on the fly. But we have to come to understand them. And when we understand them, then we can start to see how we can help them. Here's what I believe about students is that they will tell us everything we need to know to help them be successful. If we as adults will just shut up long enough to listen, when we listen to what they say and what they do, when we watch and listen to their actions, what they get right, what they get wrong, How they make choices, what they value, when they're quiet, when they're loud, all of those things give us insight into understanding them to allow us to walk in their shoes to have empathy. And when we begin with an attitude of understanding, we eliminate the entitlement that we hate to see in our student athletes. We eliminate it in ourselves and we go in humbly ready to make a difference. So that's number one. We start with empathy. Number two, we have to set an example. That means we've gotta be the kind of person that our student athletes see and go, I wanna be like that. I wanna be big and strong like they're big and strong. I wanna be confident like they're confident. I want to be smart the way they're smart. I want to be successful the way they're successful. That they need to see in you and in me an embodiment of what is possible for them. That's why we try and get not just coaches who know the X's and O's, but we get coaches who have walked the walk that they walk coaches that have come from the communities that they're coaching in coaches who know what it's like to have the same struggles. That's empathy. And then they can see in them success. That's why it's important that when you teach a core value or you have a standard for a program, you must be the exemplar, the example of that standard. And so I love it. I think about a coach here in our community where we live in Blanco and, and as much as he pushes our middle school and high school athletes to work hard in the weight room, he's doing the same. He's still competing at a very high level, pushing himself, training, getting the work in, even though he has to show up early and he goes home late, even though he has all these responsibilities. As he is challenging and pushing the athletes in the weight room, he's doing the work and they see it and they look at him and go, man, like that's a dude. But his example gives credibility and authority to the challenges, to the expectations, which we'll talk about in a moment, that he sets on those athletes. He does the work to understand them so he can connect with them. That's empathy. Then he does the work to set the example so that his words and his actions are aligned. That gives him authority. Two, then number three, set high expectations. Students do not mind high expectations. In fact, we've done some work with a group called Excel Sports and we've interviewed over 16,000 athletes. Across the country, 8,000 in Texas, 8,000 across the U.S. And what we, one of the questions we asked was, what is fun to you? And one of the things that we found that students say is fun is that they want to be challenged and they want to improve. That's fun to them. And that makes sense, right? That as they are growing, showing up to workouts, to practice competing, when a coach sees in them Better and they challenged them to get better they raise the standard they raise the expectation. And then they coach them up to get there and students see themselves improving. There's nothing more intoxicating. There's nothing more addicting than improving and getting better. And so we don't have to shy away from high expectations. We can set the highest expectations. Of expectations. Students will, will, will rise up to meet them. If we do the fourth E, which is equip them to do so. So expectation and equipping, they go hand in hand. The higher the level of expectation that we set, the better our equipping or coaching must be. If we've got expectations that are at a ten and we're coaching students at a six, then it's on us that they haven't met those expectations. It's on us that they get burned out. It's on us that they're not engaged and locked in. If we have expectations at a ten and we have equipping at an eight, But our example or our empathy is down at a two. It's on us. These things all go hand in hand together if we want to reach out the next generation. And so as we set high expectations, We must also raise our standard of coaching. That means we're going to coaching development events. We're watching the film, not just on our players. We're watching the film on our coaching. We're looking at and saying, just because I taught it doesn't mean it was understood. That I've got to teach them and then I have to test them. And if my student athletes aren't passing the test. That means either I haven't taught it right or I haven't taught it enough. Yes, of course, sometimes it'll mean that students don't want to learn. But in my experience, that's the exception to the rule. But there, what happens when they don't meet the standard is that there is more teaching to be done. And so the higher our expectations, the higher our equipping must be. But there's one last piece that goes with all of this, and that's the piece of encouragement. And I, and, and when I teach on encouragement, I teach it to every group I speak to. I've taught it to car shop owners. I've taught it to collegiate division one football players, professional basketball players, business owners, high school coaches. Students, middle school students, coaches, administrators, educators. Why? Because encouragement is, it's the fuel of all of this. Encouragement is the thing, it's the engine, it's what drives the empathy, it's what drives the, the example, the expectation, the equipping, without empathy, none of, excuse me, without encouragement. None of that gets anywhere. Why? Because when students have high expectations, I've got an example. They've got a great coach that equips them, that understands them. When they have everything but the encouragement, what happens is they become, they become robots. The joy of the game, the joy of being a kid is taken away and they become a cog in a machine. And students can rise to that and they can be really successful at it, but they can't sustain it. That's when you see these kids who are phenomenally talented that by the time they get to the end of their senior year, they never want to play ball again. Cause they have been going year round since they were in the fifth grade in volleyball or soccer or baseball or basketball. They've spent every waking moment in the summer at a camp trying to be recruited in the pressure. And all of this and they just get to the point and they go, it's not worth it anymore. I don't want to do it. Encouragement helps students remember that. It helps them anchor to the truth of who they are. Through the process of developing both athletic skills and leadership skills and life skills. It helps them separate their performance from their identity. And if we want students, if we want to use the classroom of athletics to help students find success, not just in sports, but in the game of life, that is absolutely essential. And so as we think about leading the next generation who is going to spend more time in adolescence after they graduate high school than they did in all of middle school and high school athletics combined. We must remember five things. Number one, we've got to practice empathy or lead or start with empathy. That is to say, we have to do the work to understand our kids and our program this year. Number two, we've got to set the example. We have got to be the standard that our students see and want to live up to. Number three, we got to set high expectations. Students will rise up to meet them if number four, we equip them. The higher our expectations, the higher our equipping must be. And number five, We must encourage them with our words, our actions, our belief, our support, our call outs. We must be elite encouragers. So that our students don't become robots or cogs in a machine, but they become young men and young women who are learning how to operate at the highest of levels. So in short, uh, if you were to ask me, uh, what is it that, that coaches need to know about reaching the next generation? It would be. That they need you now more than ever to invest in them, to understand them, to be an example, to set expectations, equip them to meet them and to encourage them. Because once they graduate high school, they're stepping into the wild, wild west. Where unless they join the military or play college ball, and even that is iffy. They're not going to have anyone who's investing in them in these ways. And so we've got to do it now. Mac, I got a couple questions for you. First thought, first question, what we're all of our coaches are human. We're all human. We all make mistakes. Uh, we all leave things on the table sometimes. Um, What do coaches do, whether they've been walking this out, maybe you're giving them some language and, um, some vocabulary for these things, but maybe they've been walking something like this out and they fail. They make a mistake. They, they leave something on the table. Um, or maybe they go to adopt something like the five E's and in that process they stumble through it a little bit. Specific example for you, uh, number two example. Setting the example, you know, everyone's human. Everybody makes mistakes. What do coaches do when they get it wrong? The same thing we ask our athletes to do. We own the mistake. Because whoever owns a mistake owns the power to change it. We ask why until we know why. We investigate it, we learn from it, and then we forget the loss, remember the lesson, and move on. Look, it's not about being perfect. What it is about is being consistent. Students are human and they are going to give you much more grace the more consistent you are trying to do these things. And we've got to look at it as just one day at a time, one class period at a time, one interaction at a time. It's no different than what we teach our athletes in learning how to build confidence, how to build trust with teammates. Consistency trumps. Any one-time big movement. You can't set a PR in one moment. You can't get a championship in a season on day one. You got to do the work throughout the season. This is the same way. Yeah. And wouldn't you say that owning that gap, that mistake, That in and of itself, owning it the right way is setting the example is modeling for those student athletes that hey, we can make mistakes, we can have failure points. And when those things happen, this is how you handle them. 100%. And we, we get this intuitively. Like when, when we, whether it's working for someone or hiring a service like a builder or a plumber, you know, we, we don't expect people to be perfect. But what we do expect is that when they make a mistake, we want them to make it right. And you and I talk all the time. I will trust someone who makes a mistake and owns it and makes it right quickly. More than someone who never makes a mistake. I think students are much the same way. Yeah, I agree. Last question on the top of my mind for you is how do coaches make walking out the five E's Authentic to who they are. I believe that some of our best leaders out there are, of course, servant leaders. We preach that all the time, but are also authentic leaders that live into the fullness of who they are. Uh, with everyone in every environment that they're in. So how do they make this something that is personal and just true about them? One of the things that, that you can do is, is use a free resource that we've created, uh, called, um, Finding your coaching purpose statement. If you go to the website 2words.tv slash purpose statement, We've written out a seven step process that helps you go from the things that you want to be true about you as a coach. All the way through to a purpose statement. And this process really helps you find your north star. It helps you find those things that you can anchor to. So that as you are interacting in the different ways, whether it's along the spectrum of the five E's or it's on the bus or it's in the locker room or it's on the practice field, it gives you a filter. And some practices through which you can make the decisions that you need to make and that you can do so and stay authentic to yourself. And so that's a 2words.tv slash purpose statement. There's a download. It's great for you as an individual. It's great to go through as a coaching staff to create a purpose statement for your coaching staff. You can even do this Process with your program. It's something that I come in and do often. And it's one of the most powerful and enjoyable things that I do is walking coaches. Staffs and teams through this process. It'll help you lead authentically, help you have some anchor points and find that North Star. I like it. Well, we'll include that link in the comment section of the podcast as well for our listeners to be able to find that quickly and easily. And for those listeners that are tuning in, I want to let you know that we have recently launched a new blog initiative. And so Mac, why don't you tell everybody a little bit more about the blog and some of the, um, Content that we're releasing, uh, under that format and, um, and where maybe they can find and learn more about the five E's down the road in that blog. You bet. So the blog that we're writing, you know, back in August, I've made the choice to get rid of social media. Uh, I just found that Twitter and Instagram and those things were not serving well, serving me well. Um, and so we got rid of those things. Just from kind of our universe, but we also really want to continue encouraging coaches and leaders across the country. And so we spent the fall trying to find out how can we do that? In a way that really, uh, is, is both true to us and what we value, but also, uh, can be easily accessible. And so one of the ways that we can do that is through some long form writing. If you use our curriculum, think of it as kind of workbooks and expanded coaches section from one of our weekly workbooks. Put together in a way that you can scroll through and, and, and learn and grow, grab some ideas for coaching staff developments and things like that. And so that'll be housed on our website 2words.tv. As of this recording, the way that you get that is by joining our text message group or joining us on SportsU. We partnered with a Group called community that allows us to have a two way communication via text message. Every Monday I send out a text that has a theme and encouragement for the week, along with a recording. Excuse me, a link to a deeper dive blog post. Um, and then we also post that on our 2 words character development sports you page, along with a couple other encouragements. Graphics and videos throughout the week. And so you can sign up for either one of those. The easiest way to do that is by going to zaap.bio/Mackey. That's Z-A-A-P B-I-O slash Mackey. And that'll be in the show notes, I'm sure. But from there, you can Find how to sign up for the community text messaging group, sign up for our sports you page, as well as find some resources on our curriculum. And what started this all some of our most recent and favorite blogs in the coming weeks, I would imagine by the end of March, we will have a blog section on our website. Where you can get to them directly. But in the meantime, you got to sign up for the text message group or for SportsU, both of which you can do at zap, Z-A-A-P dot bio / Mackey. Awesome, Mac. Well, hey, man, thank you so much for your time today. I'm going to cut us off here unless you've got anything else for our listeners. We'll let them go and get back to their days. Great, man. Thanks so much. Appreciate you coaches, who you are and what you do, why you're doing it and who you're doing it for. Hey guys, one last note before you head off for your day. Over 1400 schools across the nation have or are using one of our curriculums. Are you ready to jump on board? If you want a turnkey program to develop character in your athletes, give us a call at 281-723-9943. We will work with you and your budget to make it as easy as possible. Thanks again for listening to the coach 360 podcast. Now let's have a good one today.
Hey, everyone. My name is Colton, and I'm the host of the Coach 360 podcast. Here, our goal is to come alongside and equip coaches with the resources to help develop character through sports and raise up the next generation of leaders. Not only do we do that through this podcast and interviewing coaches from across the nation about character, culture, and leadership, but we also do it through our 2 words character development curriculums. If you want to learn more about these or anything else that we offer, visit our website, 2words.tv. That's the number 2, words.tv. Or you can always drop me an email, colton at 2words.tv. Thanks for listening today. Let's get into the show. Have you registered for the Texas Way yet? The Texas Way is a collaborative campaign between Texas High School Coaches Association, Texas High School Athletic Directors Association, and 2 Words Character Development to improve the level of sportsmanship at UIL sporting events. Decrease the number of ejections at UIL sporting events and strengthen communities and the relationships between coaches, athletes, officials, and fans. Register now for this free resource at www.playthetexasway.com. The Texas Way is powered by Mammoth Sports Construction. Do something big. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Coach 360 Today, I'm hanging out with Coach Mackey. Got the big man on the line. Mack, what's up, brother? What's up, my man? Great to be back on the pod. It's been a hot minute since we've done this, but I'm excited to get back in the rhythm of getting to not only visit with you, but encourage coaches through the podcast. That's it. And we've got a great outline coming up this semester. So you're totally right. We have taken a little bit of a hiatus on the podcast, but for those that are tuning in and jumping back in, We've got a great schedule planned for this upcoming school year and the rest of this semester. And so excited to be on here with you and excited to be chatting with you today. Yes, sir. Let's do it. Well, Hey Mac, I've been, uh, recently in some of the podcast interviews, I've been asking coaches kind of as a, a parting question. What is something that other coaches need to know about leading this generation of students? And so we've been getting some really great feedback from all across different coaches, different places in the state and beyond. I'd love to hear your response to that. As I think about what coaches need to know about leading this generation of students, I jumped to an article that I read that, that really in some ways shocked me. And in other ways helped me see things crystal clear. The article was entitled twenty-five is the new 18th. And, and what it explored was this idea that adolescence has expanded over the last several decades that, uh, to maybe put it simply, if I could just kind of put it in the Mackey international version of what this article talked about. Was this idea that there was a point for me and you, uh, for, for many of our coaches, when, when you turned eighteen your dad gave you a gift and that gift was two weeks. Two weeks to move out or start paying rent that at eighteen life began in adulthood and all of the things that came with it. Started at eighteen But on the other end, there were some things of teenage years, adolescence, adulthood that you didn't get to until eighth or ninth grade. And so you kind of had this, um, Short window of adolescence. But what we found now is that that window has expanded. And so you see that. Younger and younger students are experiencing things that were once reserved for those that were older and older. That's why you have fourth and fifth graders who are. You know, doing things and having conversations and, and are exposed to things that used to fifth and sixth graders you would think would never be exposed to. And it's why on the other end, you see twenty-five year olds who've graduated from college finally, and they can't walk and chew bubble gum at the same time. Now, of course, this is not everyone. I don't want to paint this broad brush and say this is everyone. But by and large, we see this expansion. Well, the challenging part about this is Is if you look at a student from sixth grade to seventh, excuse me, from sixth grade to twelfth, When they're in pre-athletics and athletics, well, how many years are they in there? I'll let our listeners do the math. You're driving, washing dishes, do the math. Sixth grade to 12th grade, how many years? I hope you didn't say six because it's sixth grade, seventh grade, eighth grade, ninth grade, 11th grade, 12th grade. That's seven years from sixth grade to 12th that they are potentially in an athletic program. But if adolescence goes until twenty-five well, how many years is it from eighteen to 25? eighteen nineteen twenty twenty-one are you counting at home? twenty-two twenty-three twenty-four twenty-five That's eight years. And so students today will have more time in adolescence after they graduate high school Than they do in middle school and high school athletics combined. And that is both shocking and eye-opening. And if we want to know the importance of the role of a coach, if we want to know the importance of what we need to know to lead these students now, We got to realize that they are going to be going into the wild wild west without a caring adult and they're going to spend more time away from caring adults than they will with a caring adult and adolescents. And so that to me needs to shape. If you could imagine guardrails or boundaries around what we need to be thinking about, that is where I start. And I say, we have to do the work and we've got to do the work right now. And so, um, I, I shared this with a, with a group of coaches, uh, from across the country and, and a coach actually from Frisco, uh, who has used our, our 2 words program, uh, For many years, he chimed in on the call and he said, okay, well, hey, like, I get that. I see it. That makes sense to me. But what do I do about it? Like, I still have standards. There are still things I need my athletes to do. And by the way, my job is still in part Determined by the performance of these sixteen and seventeen year old kids who haven't even hit the halfway point of adolescence. So what is it that I'm supposed to do given this information? Well, I think that's where my answer to your question, Colton, what do coaches need to know really begins. That was kind of the expansion of adolescence is really the The framework, the foundation, the work and now begins the work of, of what we do. And so, um, as I'm prone to do, uh, I put a number on it and I'm prone to do, I put a letter with that number. It's kind of my thing. And so. Um, if I were to say there were five things that I wanted coaches to know about leading the next generation, here they are. I call them the five E's. Empathy. Example. Expectation, equipping, and encouragement. So let's talk about each of them. Let's begin with empathy. When we think about empathy, I don't want you to hear, go soft. I don't want you to hear make it easy. When you hear empathy, I want you to hear understanding. I need to understand where these students are, what makes them tick, what they think, how they think, why they think, where they're coming from, what's waiting for them when they get home. We need to understand that. Our students in order to lead them well. And of course, this makes perfect sense if you were to think about it as a problem to solve, not like they're broken, but like a math problem. Well, to solve a math problem, I have to understand the different variables that are at play. I can't walk in ready to do subtraction when I'm doing a multiplication problem. Like I, if I don't understand what's in front of me, I'm not going to get to the right answer, even if the things that I'm doing could get me the right answer in a different situation. Does that make sense? Mm hmm. And so when I say you need to begin with empathy, what I'm saying is you gotta, you gotta understand them, put yourself in their shoes. And that means you're gonna have to learn some stuff that you, about some stuff that you're not interested in. And so we learn about the music. We learn their language. Middle schoolers today have an entirely different vocabulary than I did when I was in middle school or in high school or in college. Like you need a Siri to just translate for you. Well, thank God we live in 2025 and we got great technology that can translate things on the fly. But we have to come to understand them. And when we understand them, then we can start to see how we can help them. Here's what I believe about students is that they will tell us everything we need to know to help them be successful. If we as adults will just shut up long enough to listen, when we listen to what they say and what they do, when we watch and listen to their actions, what they get right, what they get wrong, How they make choices, what they value, when they're quiet, when they're loud, all of those things give us insight into understanding them to allow us to walk in their shoes to have empathy. And when we begin with an attitude of understanding, we eliminate the entitlement that we hate to see in our student athletes. We eliminate it in ourselves and we go in humbly ready to make a difference. So that's number one. We start with empathy. Number two, we have to set an example. That means we've gotta be the kind of person that our student athletes see and go, I wanna be like that. I wanna be big and strong like they're big and strong. I wanna be confident like they're confident. I want to be smart the way they're smart. I want to be successful the way they're successful. That they need to see in you and in me an embodiment of what is possible for them. That's why we try and get not just coaches who know the X's and O's, but we get coaches who have walked the walk that they walk coaches that have come from the communities that they're coaching in coaches who know what it's like to have the same struggles. That's empathy. And then they can see in them success. That's why it's important that when you teach a core value or you have a standard for a program, you must be the exemplar, the example of that standard. And so I love it. I think about a coach here in our community where we live in Blanco and, and as much as he pushes our middle school and high school athletes to work hard in the weight room, he's doing the same. He's still competing at a very high level, pushing himself, training, getting the work in, even though he has to show up early and he goes home late, even though he has all these responsibilities. As he is challenging and pushing the athletes in the weight room, he's doing the work and they see it and they look at him and go, man, like that's a dude. But his example gives credibility and authority to the challenges, to the expectations, which we'll talk about in a moment, that he sets on those athletes. He does the work to understand them so he can connect with them. That's empathy. Then he does the work to set the example so that his words and his actions are aligned. That gives him authority. Two, then number three, set high expectations. Students do not mind high expectations. In fact, we've done some work with a group called Excel Sports and we've interviewed over 16,000 athletes. Across the country, 8,000 in Texas, 8,000 across the U.S. And what we, one of the questions we asked was, what is fun to you? And one of the things that we found that students say is fun is that they want to be challenged and they want to improve. That's fun to them. And that makes sense, right? That as they are growing, showing up to workouts, to practice competing, when a coach sees in them Better and they challenged them to get better they raise the standard they raise the expectation. And then they coach them up to get there and students see themselves improving. There's nothing more intoxicating. There's nothing more addicting than improving and getting better. And so we don't have to shy away from high expectations. We can set the highest expectations. Of expectations. Students will, will, will rise up to meet them. If we do the fourth E, which is equip them to do so. So expectation and equipping, they go hand in hand. The higher the level of expectation that we set, the better our equipping or coaching must be. If we've got expectations that are at a ten and we're coaching students at a six, then it's on us that they haven't met those expectations. It's on us that they get burned out. It's on us that they're not engaged and locked in. If we have expectations at a ten and we have equipping at an eight, But our example or our empathy is down at a two. It's on us. These things all go hand in hand together if we want to reach out the next generation. And so as we set high expectations, We must also raise our standard of coaching. That means we're going to coaching development events. We're watching the film, not just on our players. We're watching the film on our coaching. We're looking at and saying, just because I taught it doesn't mean it was understood. That I've got to teach them and then I have to test them. And if my student athletes aren't passing the test. That means either I haven't taught it right or I haven't taught it enough. Yes, of course, sometimes it'll mean that students don't want to learn. But in my experience, that's the exception to the rule. But there, what happens when they don't meet the standard is that there is more teaching to be done. And so the higher our expectations, the higher our equipping must be. But there's one last piece that goes with all of this, and that's the piece of encouragement. And I, and, and when I teach on encouragement, I teach it to every group I speak to. I've taught it to car shop owners. I've taught it to collegiate division one football players, professional basketball players, business owners, high school coaches. Students, middle school students, coaches, administrators, educators. Why? Because encouragement is, it's the fuel of all of this. Encouragement is the thing, it's the engine, it's what drives the empathy, it's what drives the, the example, the expectation, the equipping, without empathy, none of, excuse me, without encouragement. None of that gets anywhere. Why? Because when students have high expectations, I've got an example. They've got a great coach that equips them, that understands them. When they have everything but the encouragement, what happens is they become, they become robots. The joy of the game, the joy of being a kid is taken away and they become a cog in a machine. And students can rise to that and they can be really successful at it, but they can't sustain it. That's when you see these kids who are phenomenally talented that by the time they get to the end of their senior year, they never want to play ball again. Cause they have been going year round since they were in the fifth grade in volleyball or soccer or baseball or basketball. They've spent every waking moment in the summer at a camp trying to be recruited in the pressure. And all of this and they just get to the point and they go, it's not worth it anymore. I don't want to do it. Encouragement helps students remember that. It helps them anchor to the truth of who they are. Through the process of developing both athletic skills and leadership skills and life skills. It helps them separate their performance from their identity. And if we want students, if we want to use the classroom of athletics to help students find success, not just in sports, but in the game of life, that is absolutely essential. And so as we think about leading the next generation who is going to spend more time in adolescence after they graduate high school than they did in all of middle school and high school athletics combined. We must remember five things. Number one, we've got to practice empathy or lead or start with empathy. That is to say, we have to do the work to understand our kids and our program this year. Number two, we've got to set the example. We have got to be the standard that our students see and want to live up to. Number three, we got to set high expectations. Students will rise up to meet them if number four, we equip them. The higher our expectations, the higher our equipping must be. And number five, We must encourage them with our words, our actions, our belief, our support, our call outs. We must be elite encouragers. So that our students don't become robots or cogs in a machine, but they become young men and young women who are learning how to operate at the highest of levels. So in short, uh, if you were to ask me, uh, what is it that, that coaches need to know about reaching the next generation? It would be. That they need you now more than ever to invest in them, to understand them, to be an example, to set expectations, equip them to meet them and to encourage them. Because once they graduate high school, they're stepping into the wild, wild west. Where unless they join the military or play college ball, and even that is iffy. They're not going to have anyone who's investing in them in these ways. And so we've got to do it now. Mac, I got a couple questions for you. First thought, first question, what we're all of our coaches are human. We're all human. We all make mistakes. Uh, we all leave things on the table sometimes. Um, What do coaches do, whether they've been walking this out, maybe you're giving them some language and, um, some vocabulary for these things, but maybe they've been walking something like this out and they fail. They make a mistake. They, they leave something on the table. Um, or maybe they go to adopt something like the five E's and in that process they stumble through it a little bit. Specific example for you, uh, number two example. Setting the example, you know, everyone's human. Everybody makes mistakes. What do coaches do when they get it wrong? The same thing we ask our athletes to do. We own the mistake. Because whoever owns a mistake owns the power to change it. We ask why until we know why. We investigate it, we learn from it, and then we forget the loss, remember the lesson, and move on. Look, it's not about being perfect. What it is about is being consistent. Students are human and they are going to give you much more grace the more consistent you are trying to do these things. And we've got to look at it as just one day at a time, one class period at a time, one interaction at a time. It's no different than what we teach our athletes in learning how to build confidence, how to build trust with teammates. Consistency trumps. Any one-time big movement. You can't set a PR in one moment. You can't get a championship in a season on day one. You got to do the work throughout the season. This is the same way. Yeah. And wouldn't you say that owning that gap, that mistake, That in and of itself, owning it the right way is setting the example is modeling for those student athletes that hey, we can make mistakes, we can have failure points. And when those things happen, this is how you handle them. 100%. And we, we get this intuitively. Like when, when we, whether it's working for someone or hiring a service like a builder or a plumber, you know, we, we don't expect people to be perfect. But what we do expect is that when they make a mistake, we want them to make it right. And you and I talk all the time. I will trust someone who makes a mistake and owns it and makes it right quickly. More than someone who never makes a mistake. I think students are much the same way. Yeah, I agree. Last question on the top of my mind for you is how do coaches make walking out the five E's Authentic to who they are. I believe that some of our best leaders out there are, of course, servant leaders. We preach that all the time, but are also authentic leaders that live into the fullness of who they are. Uh, with everyone in every environment that they're in. So how do they make this something that is personal and just true about them? One of the things that, that you can do is, is use a free resource that we've created, uh, called, um, Finding your coaching purpose statement. If you go to the website 2words.tv slash purpose statement, We've written out a seven step process that helps you go from the things that you want to be true about you as a coach. All the way through to a purpose statement. And this process really helps you find your north star. It helps you find those things that you can anchor to. So that as you are interacting in the different ways, whether it's along the spectrum of the five E's or it's on the bus or it's in the locker room or it's on the practice field, it gives you a filter. And some practices through which you can make the decisions that you need to make and that you can do so and stay authentic to yourself. And so that's a 2words.tv slash purpose statement. There's a download. It's great for you as an individual. It's great to go through as a coaching staff to create a purpose statement for your coaching staff. You can even do this Process with your program. It's something that I come in and do often. And it's one of the most powerful and enjoyable things that I do is walking coaches. Staffs and teams through this process. It'll help you lead authentically, help you have some anchor points and find that North Star. I like it. Well, we'll include that link in the comment section of the podcast as well for our listeners to be able to find that quickly and easily. And for those listeners that are tuning in, I want to let you know that we have recently launched a new blog initiative. And so Mac, why don't you tell everybody a little bit more about the blog and some of the, um, Content that we're releasing, uh, under that format and, um, and where maybe they can find and learn more about the five E's down the road in that blog. You bet. So the blog that we're writing, you know, back in August, I've made the choice to get rid of social media. Uh, I just found that Twitter and Instagram and those things were not serving well, serving me well. Um, and so we got rid of those things. Just from kind of our universe, but we also really want to continue encouraging coaches and leaders across the country. And so we spent the fall trying to find out how can we do that? In a way that really, uh, is, is both true to us and what we value, but also, uh, can be easily accessible. And so one of the ways that we can do that is through some long form writing. If you use our curriculum, think of it as kind of workbooks and expanded coaches section from one of our weekly workbooks. Put together in a way that you can scroll through and, and, and learn and grow, grab some ideas for coaching staff developments and things like that. And so that'll be housed on our website 2words.tv. As of this recording, the way that you get that is by joining our text message group or joining us on SportsU. We partnered with a Group called community that allows us to have a two way communication via text message. Every Monday I send out a text that has a theme and encouragement for the week, along with a recording. Excuse me, a link to a deeper dive blog post. Um, and then we also post that on our 2 words character development sports you page, along with a couple other encouragements. Graphics and videos throughout the week. And so you can sign up for either one of those. The easiest way to do that is by going to zaap.bio/Mackey. That's Z-A-A-P B-I-O slash Mackey. And that'll be in the show notes, I'm sure. But from there, you can Find how to sign up for the community text messaging group, sign up for our sports you page, as well as find some resources on our curriculum. And what started this all some of our most recent and favorite blogs in the coming weeks, I would imagine by the end of March, we will have a blog section on our website. Where you can get to them directly. But in the meantime, you got to sign up for the text message group or for SportsU, both of which you can do at zap, Z-A-A-P dot bio / Mackey. Awesome, Mac. Well, hey, man, thank you so much for your time today. I'm going to cut us off here unless you've got anything else for our listeners. We'll let them go and get back to their days. Great, man. Thanks so much. Appreciate you coaches, who you are and what you do, why you're doing it and who you're doing it for. Hey guys, one last note before you head off for your day. Over 1400 schools across the nation have or are using one of our curriculums. Are you ready to jump on board? If you want a turnkey program to develop character in your athletes, give us a call at 281-723-9943. We will work with you and your budget to make it as easy as possible. Thanks again for listening to the coach 360 podcast. Now let's have a good one today.
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